02x24 - Family Feud

Episode transcripts for the TV show "K.C. Undercover". Aired: January 2015 to February 2018.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

A high-school math whiz trains to be an undercover spy.
Post Reply

02x24 - Family Feud

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on KC Undercover...

I saw my cousin Abby.

Floatin' on the Potomac?

She saw you?

This is why I don't tell you anything.

KC cannot get in the way of this mission.

If she does, I have to eliminate her.

All right, pack your gear.

We're heading to Bung Hill.

We're headed to Bung Hill.

And if anybody gets in our way...

They're going to be
sorry they got in our way.

Oh, goody. You're alive.

They got our girl.

They got our girl.

Don't worry.

We'll get her back.

They're not getting away with this.

At least, not alive.

All right, Abby, if you ever
wanna see the sunlight again,

I suggest you start talking and
tell us where your parents are.

Say something!

Fine. I never liked you, and I'm
much prettier than you are.

Want me to say anything else?

Yeah, I suggest you start
with the words, "Get off me."

Huh?

Get off me!

No, KC. Enough v*olence. Calm down, KC.

Tell me where your parents
are or you're gonna be sorry!

Okay, all right.

Thanks.

Abby, listen to me.

Okay, at the end of the
day, I'm still your auntie.

Honey, just tell us where they are,

and I promise, I'll
make them go easy on you.

And maybe even, one day, I'll
help you join the Organization.

Really? You'd do that for me?

Of course I would, sweetheart.

Then you're dumber than I thought.

Hey, hey!

You call my mom dumb one more time,

you're gonna see what that smile
looks like without your teeth.

I cannot believe I let your
smart mouth borrow my lip gloss.

Hey, I gave it back... right after
I dropped it in the toilet.

She's giving us nothing.

Except maybe E.coli.

I used that lip gloss all the time.

Put her in maximum security.

We'll use Abby to draw
Richard and Erica out.

I doubt they even care that she's gone.

They got my baby.

I want her back.

I want her back!

Enough drama. We'll get her back.

Well, we better, because she's the only one

that can remember my Wi-Fi password.

Mother of the year.

You should talk.

It's not like you've been the best dad.

No, "mother of the
year." It's your password.

They have something we want, and soon,
we'll have something they want.

Hurry up, Kira. These things are hot.

You're the one who wanted
all those rotisserie chickens.

They were on sale, five for five dollars.

Because they expired two days ago.

No. The label says "sell by."

Not "use by," "sell by."

Yeah, they all good.

Can we just get inside?

This -pack of body
spray is getting heavy.

FYI: that place is not
supposed to replace showers.

(helicopter rotors whirring)

What is going on?!

♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪

♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep things hustle cool ♪

♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪

♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect ♪

♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪

♪ But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Livin' my life, no way to learn ♪

♪ Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

I keep it undercover.

I keep it undercover.

That movie was nuts.

I did not see that ending coming.

You didn't see the beginning either

because you were on your
phone the whole time.

What happened here?

Marisa, I think my family's been taken.

I think there's a much
simpler explanation than that.

My father would never waste a chicken.

The man eats the bones.

Oh, no, your family has been taken.

Let us out of here!

For a little girl, you
have a very big mouth.

I'm a robot, doofus!

Yeah, I put that together
when I took you apart.

Kira, talk to her. Talk to her.

Erica, listen to me. Now
at the end of the day,

I'm still your sister,
and I care about you.

Mother to mother, I know that
you're worried about Abby.

Just let us go, and I promise, I
will give her the life she deserves.

The life you were denied.

Kira, can I tell you something that
I've never shared with you before?

Please do.

Not only are you a lousy
spy, you're a lousy actress.

KC, we've created a map of all the
places where your family could be.

That's a map of the entire world.

Yeah. We have no idea where they are.

Well, we have to find them.

ERICA: Now that we have your attention...

It's not that easy, KC.

(Richard clearing throat)

Now that we have your attention...

Unless Richard and Erica show their faces,

we don't stand a chance.

Hello!

Well, speak of the devil...

and her husband.

Some of our guests would like to say hi.

Don't worry, honey. We're okay.

Craig: Hey, KC, did you get a chance to put

those rotisserie chickens in the fridge?

I don't want 'em to go bad.

Craig, they were bad when you bought 'em.

Who eats a chicken that costs a dollar?

Just put 'em in the fridge.

Annoying and cheap.

My sister can really pick 'em.

We will exchange our prisoners for yours.

You'll be contacted with
instructions for the hand-off.

I'll lead the rescue team.

KC, we do not negotiate
with the Other Side.

But my family...

Knew what they were getting
into when they signed on.

The Organization may not be
willing to negotiate, but I am.

If that's a new dance, it's whack.

Untie me and I'll show you whack.

Abby, the last time I eliminated
you, it was an accident.

This time, it will just
look like an accident.

Word on the street is someone
broke Abby out of prison.

And it must be you, because who
else would want that girl?

Thanks for checking in, Mother.

Look, she's all yours
once I get my family back,

so where we supposed to meet?

Just keep driving. We'll be watching.

Please tell me this is some
type of alien abduction.

Okay, I know this looks like I went rogue,

broke Abby out of prison, but the truth
is, she escaped, and I caught her,

and I was bringing her back to you.

So you're welcome.

Then why were you driving
in the opposite direction?

Okay, fine. So I broke her out of prison,
but what else was I supposed to do?

They have my family.

You're out of the Organization, KC.

This time, you're not getting back in.

In fact, you'll be
lucky to avoid jail time.

Put this prisoner in the
helicopter with the other one.

KC: Sorry!

So what's your plan, KC?

For you to be quiet.

Do you even have a plan?

Yeah. For you to be quiet.

Now we won't know the rendezvous point,

because my parents were tracking
your car and not this helicopter.

You messed everything up.

(shrieking)

On second thought, I'm
sure it'll all be fine.

(phone ringing)

Now's not really a good time, Marisa.

Okay, but it's really important.

Kind of a life and death situation.

Marisa, I am currently
flying a stolen helicopter,

I have no idea where my
family's being held c*ptive,

and I have to find them and rescue them,

because they've been taken
by the head of the Other Side,

who I also have to capture and bring in,

because if I don't, I will be
going to jail and losing my family.

I have gone rogue, I have
no one to turn to for help.

So please, please, share with me
your life or death situation!

I was wondering if you wanted
to watch House Boos with me.

Okay, in retrospect, your situation
might be a bit more dire than mine.

But seriously, it's the finale, so...

- Good-bye, Marisa.
- Wait, wait.

- What can I do to help?
- Stop calling.

You are gonna call your parents right now

and you're gonna demand
a new meeting point.

You tell them that if
they do not have my family,

they will never see you again.

That's not much of a
thr*at, but it's all I got.

That is the stupidest
plan I have ever heard.

(shrieking)

On second thought, your
plan could totally work.

All right, it's swap time.

I'll give you back Abby,
you give me back my family.

You got it.

Soon as you put your
w*apon down and Abby's safe,

you and your family will be free to go.

I'm sorry, put down my w*apon?

Do I look like an idiot to you?

Yes. Yes, you do.

Hey, listen, I am in charge here.

You give me my family back,
I'll give you Abby back.

No deal.

Wait. Now I know she's not much,
but she's your only daughter.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay.

Now if I agree to put my w*apon down,

how do I know that you're
gonna let my family go?

KC, don't be insulting.

Do we look like a couple of lowlifes
to you that would welch on a deal?

Yes. Yes, you do.

In a show of good faith, let's put
all our g*ns down on the table.

Your turn.

Oops, we lied.

We are a couple of lowlifes
that would welch on a deal.

Finally something come out
of your mouth that I believe.

Well, sorry, guys. I tried.

Don't worry, baby. A little while ago,

I heard a helicopter land on the
roof. I think it's the Organization.

Well, uh, it is the
Organization's helicopter,

but technically, I kinda stole it from 'em.

Don't worry, honey, I'm
sure they're tracking you,

and they'll be here any second.

Yeah, normally, I would
agree, but technically,

I kinda turned off the tracking device.


They'll still come.

It's not like they stopped caring about us.

Absolutely, absolutely.

Although technically...

We're doomed.

Voicemail again.

KC needs my help.

I have to figure out where she is.

I can do this.

Who am I kidding? I can't do this.

No, wait. I'm not stupid.

I'll just find out the
information from the computer.

Okay, if she's in a helicopter,
she has to land it somewhere.

Where can you land a helicopter?

Probably don't wanna land a stolen
helicopter at a police station.

News Traffic Center, or
in front of a news crew.

The abandoned hospital
downtown has a helipad.

An abandoned hospital?

Ew. That's the last
place I'd ever wanna go.

In fact, I don't know
anyone in their right mind

who would go near that creepy...

Hey, that must be the place.

Wow, my computer teacher was right.

This thing is so much more
than a shoe-shopping machine.

I say we leave the Coopers
here, and blow this place up.

Why is everything always "blow
up the building" with you?

Can't you think outside the box?

I'd like to put you in a box.

Six feet under.

And I'd like to take the
shovel you use to dig the hole,

and hit you over the head with it.

You do it, you gangly armed giant.

Try it, try it.

What are you doing?

Looking for a scalpel
so I can cut my ears off,

so I don't have to
listen to you two anymore!

Where does she get all this hostility from?

I'm really sorry.

I feel like this is all my fault.

I may never get another
chance to say this, so...

Hey, don't talk like that.

I just wanted to say that I love... Marisa.

You love Marisa?

You love Marisa?!

Guys, look. Marisa.

Yes! Marisa came to save us.

Wait, Marisa came to save us?

How did Marisa know we needed saving?

Well, I kinda sorta may have at one
point accidentally mentioned...

Okay, I told her we were spies.

Yeah, she found out, but
you memory sprayed her.

We saw you.

Yeah, but I kinda swapped that
memory spray out for perfume.

So she's known all along?

I cannot believe what I am hearing.

Neither can I.

This is shocking.

Shocking news to me.

I can barely process what I'm hearing.

You knew, too, didn't you?

Yeah.

Judy, please tell me you didn't know.

- Okay. I didn't know.
- Judy.

Hey, it's not my fault you didn't know
what was going on under your own roof.

Some spy you are.

Kira, did you know, too?

Nope. Apparently, I'm
just as dumb as you are.

Guys, if I hadn't told her, she
wouldn't be here to rescue us.

And how exactly is she going to rescue us?

We're locked down here, she's up there,

and the only thing I've ever seen her
break into is her mother's purse.

Marisa, break the glass.

(mouthing words)

Well, nice knowing you guys.

Come on, Marisa, you can do
this, okay? Try something.

She's cutting through the
glass with her diamond earrings.

We're saved.

- Oh.
- What?

Well, I got her those earrings for
Christmas, and they were bucks.

I just kinda told her they were diamonds.

Like father, like daughter.

What the heck is she doing?

Showing us what a big mouth she has?

We already knew that.

No.

She's right, she's not dumb. She's smart.

She's also someone whose grandma
made her take opera lessons.

(singing high note)

Amazing!

Yes!

What is going on in here?

Okay, that just happened.

Hey, untie me.

Not so fast.

Nice! Let's go.

Hey. No one messes with my best friend.

I'm sorry.

I always wanted to be an only
child, and now I'm about to be.

Need a hand... or a leg?

Ooh, nice, Judy.

Way to go, KC.

What's going on in here?

Not so tall anymore, is he?

Marisa, I never thought I'd say this,
but boy, am I happy to see you.

And if we're putting all
our cards on the table,

you should know KC loves you.

Hey, what's up, guys?

Okay, okay, okay.

Is this because I freed
a dangerous prisoner

and stole a helicopter,
or because I forgot to put

the office bagels away
without that twist-tie thing?

Cuff her.

Okay, hey. Before you do that, you
should know, I saved my family.

Glad they're okay, but not good enough.

I also have Abby.

Still not good enough.

Oh, wait, wait. And Erica.

Still not...

Bup-bup-bup.

And Richard, the head of the Other Side.

And a box of doughnuts.

All right, all is forgiven.

Put these three in a cell.

No, I'll do anything to get
out of sharing a cell with her.

- You should be so lucky.
- (Both arguing)

Please, I'm begging
you. Put me in solitary.

Oh, don't worry. You'll all
have your own private cells.

Hey.

Try to keep 'em together
as long as possible.

With any luck, they'll k*ll each other.

Oh, and also, if Abby asks
for lip gloss, give her this.

So how did you manage to take
down the head of the Other Side?

Uh, it was all KC. % KC.

Well, Dad, we can't lie to Agent Johnson.

It was a group effort.

(ringing)

Yes.

You're sure Richard was captured?

So who's now in charge of the Other Side?

I was hoping you'd say that.

Looks like I'm going home.

See you soon, KC.

Rob, your name's on TV.
Post Reply