03x12 - Deleted!

Episode transcripts for the TV show "K.C. Undercover". Aired: January 2015 to February 2018.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

A high-school math whiz trains to be an undercover spy.
Post Reply

03x12 - Deleted!

Post by bunniefuu »

All right, everybody, for lunch I
have made a spiralized beet noodle

with a little bit of whipped feta.

Honey, this looks delicious.

I can't wait to dig in.

I can't wait to dig a
hole and bury this mess.

Dang!

Sorry, but I don't think that whipped
feta is the culinary equivalent of...

(Circuits buzzing)

Uh, guys, I think something's wrong.

Yeah, it's called
spiralized beet noodles.

No, I'm talking about Judy.

She's frozen.

(Beeping)

Memory almost full.

Guys, when Judy's memory is full,

she's programmed to return to The
Organization and upload all her memories.

Wait. Ernie, are you saying
everything that Judy has done...

more importantly,
everything she's seen us do...

is about to be revealed
to The Organization?

That is what I'm saying.

(All) Uh-oh!

Sorry, but I cannot let my little
sister turn into Big Brother.

Joke's on you. My memory
drive is in my foot.

Guys, don't just stand there!

Help me with this robot!

Pull, pull, pull!

(All) Whoa!

Whoa!

♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪

♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ♪

♪ I always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪

♪ But don't tell
nobody, tell nobody ♪

♪ I'm not perfect,
so many things I ♪

♪ Want to tell you, but I ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

♪ Living my life on red alert ♪

♪ Doing my thing,
gonna make it work ♪

♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪

♪ But I always got your back ♪

♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪

♪ I got to find out who I am ♪

♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪

♪ It's all part of the plan ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

♪ I keep it undercover ♪

Ha. See that?

Ernie's not the only one that
can do the technical stuff.

One problem. I can see my butt.

Oops.

(Whirring)

Much better, except I still see a butt.

Oh. Where?

It's over by the mirror.

Why don't you go look at it?

(Fake laughing)

Very funny, Judy.

You know what else makes people laugh?

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

(Laughing) Stop it.

- Stop it!
- Ow!

I warned you.

- (Laughing)
- Okay, excuse me,

but am I the only on here who is worried

about getting kicked out
of The Organization? Again?

She's right. We need to take a look

at all the footage Judy
has stored on her foot.

Ha ha! Footage.

Get it? Footage?

Judy, do you mind?

My pleasure.

Ow!

It's time to switch to Bluetooth.

All right, let's get to work.

Now we need to delete
anything that Judy saw us do

that we don't want The
Organization to see.

Oh, it's not just what I've seen.

I've got cameras everywhere.

Uh, just out of curiosity, there aren't
cameras in the pantry, are there?

Of course not, Spongy
Cakes At a.m. Guy.

I sleep eat. It's not my fault.

Okay, first things first, we need
to get rid of all the footage

where I tell Marisa that we're spies.

Oh, and the part where I
don't memory spray Marisa

because she knows we're spies.

Oh, and the part where she gets
involved with us being spies.

So basically everything
with Marisa in it.

So what I'm hearing is, we're
about to see a Marisa movie!

No, what you're hearing is you're about
to get cut from the Cooper Movie.

Okay, never mind that now.

KC, we need to do something that
we've never been able to do before.

Get rid of Marisa.

No offense.

Some taken.

All right, um... I'm
going to spray you now,

and you're gonna forget everything
that happened in the last six hours.

When you wake up, chances are
you're still gonna be mad at me,

and you're not gonna want
to be my friend anymore.

And even though you won't like
me, I will always love you.

(Whimpering)

Okay. I think that I'm ready.

I know that was hard for you, KC.

'Cause it sure was hard for me.

But we didn't have a choice.

I get it.

I mean, Marisa could never
know the truth about us.

I'm proud of you, honey.

Mm-hmm.

(Whispering) Marisa?

All clear.

Mm, what was that, vanilla?

With a hint of lavender.

Nice. Fake memory erasing spray
might be my new signature scent.

Hey!

Guys, look, Marisa!

Yes! Marisa came to save us!

Wait. Marisa came to save us?

How did Marisa know we needed saving?

And how exactly is
she going to rescue us?

Marisa? Break the glass!

(No sound)

(Clangs twice)

Come on, Marisa, you can do this, okay?

Try something.

What the heck is she doing?

Showing us what a big mouth she has?

Because we already knew that.

No. Know what, she's right.

She's not dumb. She's smart.

She's also someone whose grandma
made her take opera lessons.

(Holding piercing note)

Amazing!

Yes!

One tailgate party.

Admit it... not only do I have party-dar,
but I did help you on this mission,

and I would be a good spy!

Yeah, Marisa, could you
say that a little louder?

I don't think they heard you
at the University of China.

Wait. Whoa, whoa.

There's a better party across town.

Live band. Cute,
age-appropriate drummer.

Clarissa out.

Wow. I can't believe
she recorded everything.

Well, that's not entirely bad.

Maybe we can all watch that time I
was in the school play and starred

as Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman.

Death of an Audience is what
they should have called it.

Look, I think you guys
are actually really lucky.

Judy is like a walking,
talking family album...

except my family album doesn't
make fun of me as I look through it.

It should.

I don't know, it is kind
of fun just to look back.

I mean, so much of what we do, we're
not supposed to talk about ever again.

Hey, if we're taking a
walk down memory lane,

I'll never forget
that assignment in Rio.

Ah, that was fun.

Yeah, Dad, that wasn't an assignment.

We were on the run from a crazed k*ller.

Well, we survived.

That's always fun.

It's true. We've done
a lot of cool missions.

A couple of them I even
got to leave the van for.

And forgot to put the emergency
brake on, and the van rolled away.

Can we just focus on the positive?

He's right. My favorite missions
have always been the ones

we've done as a family.

Yeah, we are at our
best when we're together.

And Ernie's not in charge of
putting the emergency brake on.

Hey, remember this?

Okay, I have a visual on you guys.

Can everyone hear me? Ah-choo!

(All) Bless you!

I guess everyone can hear me.

I have a visual on the targets.

It's time to bake the biscuits!

What does that even mean?

I'm trying to come
up with a catchphrase.

The guy in the van
always has a catchphrase.

Well, catch a new phrase.

- Wow.
- Whoa!

(Appreciative whistle)

(Pleased chatter)

Hi-dee-ho, there,
Bung Hillian!

My family and I are from out of town.

We live in Toledo, Ohio and we're on
our way to Williamsburg, Virginia.

You know, where they churn
butter the old-fashioned way.

With a churner!

All right, that's enough
out of you, Sparky.

(Forced chuckle)

Anyway, as I was saying, we're lost.

I can't find Route .

Now I've misplaced a lot of things in
my day, by golly, but never a highway!

Think maybe you can help me out? I've
got my map here. It's in my fanny pack.

You ever seen...?

Hey! I've been on my hog
for the past few hours.

So what does it take to get a
little sarsaparilla around here?

Travel back in time?

Well, then I'll take a
lemonade. Make it a double.

(Laughter)

- Ahh, good times.
- Yeah.

Delete, delete, delete.
Delete, delete, delete.

Wait. Delete, delete, delete. Delete.

Uh-oh. You've just deleted
our assignment at the circus.

So?

So it was a major mission.

Agent Johnson will notice
that that footage is gone.

Okay. No big deal. Dad, all you gotta do

is drag the arrow back into the trash
bin where you put the other memories,

and then just pull 'em
back out to the desktop.

Wait. It's not in the trash bin anymore.

That's because you
permanently deleted it!

Wait a minute.

Are you saying that we
cannot recover that footage?

What part of "permanently
deleted" do you not understand?

Uh, actually, you know what, Judy?

I'm going to have to disagree with you.

As my mom and the makers of
Compute Nanny would attest,

nothing is ever permanently
deleted off your computer.

Learned that one the hard way.

Okay, let's not pay attention to the one

with the $ million built-in operating
system and take the word of a girl

who thinks rebooting
happens in a shoe store.

Okay, so what I'm hearing is
that it's permanently deleted.

Guys, this isn't good.

I mean, Agent Johnson is gonna know
that we're tampering with evidence.

What are we gonna do?

Okay, guys, all we need is
somebody to blame it on, right?

We need a fall guy, somebody
who is totally expendable,

completely unsuspecting.

Ernie, uh, do you mind leaving the room

for a few minutes while we have a
brief conversation behind your back?

Sure, no problem.
I'll just be...

Hey! Wait a minute!

Tampering with evidence is going to get
us kicked out of the Organization.

Yeah, well, it doesn't
have to be all of us.

K.C., for the last time, your
brother is not taking the fall...

unless he loves us.

I got it. I know how we
can recover the footage

so Johnson doesn't know that
we deleted anything. Okay, how?

We'll recreate the circus mission
in front of a green screen.

Dad, find a camera.

I'll set up the tightrope from
the kitchen island to the couch.

K.C., go put on your most
colorful bathing suit.

Marisa, how's your Monrovian accent?

(Bad Monrovian accent) It's incredible!

Good enough.

You'll play Lazlo, the tightrope guy.

Yes.

Mom, do you still
have that ceramic tiger

that you made in your pottery class?

I'm gonna need you to
stand behind it and roar.

Everybody ready? Let's do this.

You know, Ernie, I
gotta say, I'm impressed.

Thank you!

Yeah, this is the dumbest
idea you've ever had.

And believe me, brother, you
have had a lot of dumb ideas.

And if you don't believe me...
let's take a look.

(Muttering) ...some here.

Our first step is to
lure Zane out in the open.

Any ideas?

I know. We'll film a commercial

advertising one of those
million-dollar sweepstake prizes.

We'll pump it to Zane's cable
system a hundred times a day

until he can't help
but enter the contest.

Once he subscribes to the three
magazines and sends in his entry form,

he'll move to the semi-final rounds.

Eventually we'll declare him the winner,

and when he comes to collect his prize,

we'll jump in and grab
him and put him in prison.

Just one problem.

We're gonna need one of
those giant novelty checks.

Yeah... that's the one
problem with that plan.

Bro, I know you're gonna do absolutely
great leading this mission.

It should be pretty easy, though.

All we gotta do is break
into Nelson Monroe's condo,

get the SD card containing all the
crucial information, and then get out.

That is the standard procedure.

But where's the pizzazz?

The creativity?

The... wow factor?

Ernie, is that a... Handmade
scale model of Monroe's condo,

built entirely with Popsicle sticks?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Oh, I forgot to... (Gasps)

Brett Willis.

Let me explain.

There's nothing to explain.

You almost destroyed my family.

Now you will be destroyed.

Are you done?

Not yet.

Now I'm done.

(All laughing)

Oh, that's cool.

I'm not the only one who
does stupid stuff, you know.

Oh, well, I sure hope
you're not referring to me.

Well, if the clown shoe
fits, go ahead and wear it.

Uh!

Excuse me!

Is anybody in this family
gonna stick up for me here?

(All muttering)

Seriously? When have I
ever done something stupid?

All right, people.

Settle in, put your feet up, and relax.

This could be longer than all the
Harry Potter movies put together.

Phew.

Good night.

Hey, everybody.

Um, I will be talking about
the Industrial Revolution.

While today we enjoy many
of the modern conveniences,

uh, that, um, the... the...
mo-modern conveniences that-that...

(Heart pounding)

- (Slo-mo laughter)
- (Gulps)

(Retches)

Well, you definitely got it in the bag.

Wow, you have really soft hair.

K.C., that's the bear.

Oh. (Chuckles) Right.

My bad.

(All laughing)

I'm sorry. Was I mistaken?

Was that not you doing all
those ridiculous things?

Oh, please. You're acting like
you never barfed in a purse before.


It was a laptop bag, and you know it!

Oh, does it really matter?

Yes, it does matter!

Okay, stay focused!

And stop arguing.

No, stay focused.

Well, they can't focus
because they're arguing.

There's not enough going on?

You really want to make
an issue out of this?

I don't know where they get it from.

It's not my fault those
two are always arguing.

Are you saying it's my fault?

I'm saying it's not my fault.

- (Both arguing)
- They don't know where we get it from.

Well, look at that. I do!

- Okay.
- Hey, give me the thing.

That's all right. We
don't need to see that.

There we go.

And there it is.

We're running out of time, Craig.

The time it takes me to
stop doing what I'm doing

to listen to you say
we're running out of time

is time I could be using
to figure this thing out.

That's exactly what you said

when you were deactivating
that b*mb in Argentina.

Your eyebrows grew back, didn't they?

You always do this, Craig.

Always, Kira? I always do this?

As in every time I try
to open a bank vault

my kids are trapped in
while their oxygen runs out?

Now, please.

Give me some space.

I can feel you breathing
on the back of my neck.

Did you find me anything to eat?

I've been working out for
two hours, and I'm starving.

I found some soup.

Soup?! How am I supposed to
eat that and keep moving, baby?

Let's try.

Okay, wait, wait.

Be careful. Wait, wait, wait!

(Both talking at once)

I'm trying to do it.

Wait. Wait a minute. Now I can't see.

Let me try and... Wait, here.

Slow down!

If you would bring your face down!

Never mind, never mind. I'm full.

Thank you. I'm not hungry anymore.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, so we had a few
minor disagreements.

And some major ones.

And some major ones.

But people who really
love each other...

Can argue and still get past it.

Ohh! That's right.

My big, bad...
whoo!... spy daddy!

(Laughter)

Ecch! That was more disgusting
than when K.C. puked in a bag.

(Knock on door)

- Who is it?
- Agent Johnson.

Ooh. We need to hide Judy.

- Okay, I'll collapse her.
- It only lasts two minutes.

- Why would it last two minutes?
- That's what the manual said.

- Why would it say that?
- I don't know!

I didn't write it, I just read it.

Well, put her foot back on.

Uh, coming! Just one second!

(Whirring sound)

(Judy) Ow! I can still feel that!

Sorry, my bad.

Hey, what about Marisa?

Shove her under the couch too!

Or I can just go out the front door.

Seriously, we haven't talked about
me in forever, so I'm so over this.

Just go.

Ready?

Okay.

Agent Johnson! My man!

(Happy exclamation) Uh... okay.

What you, uh, what you doin' here?

I'm here to pick up Judy. Where is she?

She's not under the couch.

(Nervous chuckle)

Well?

Well what?

What is wrong with all of you?

I came here to pick up Judy
for her scheduled upload.

For the last time, where is she?

Uh, she left to meet you at
the Organization an hour ago.

I just came from the Organization.

She wasn't there.

Excuse me, Agent Johnson, are you saying
that you don't know where Judy is?

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Okay, so you're admitting to losing

a multimillion-dollar,
state-of-the-art robot.

No, I didn't say I lost her.

Ohh! I get it.

You're accusing us of losing her.

(Overlapping chatter)

No, no,
I-I...

Where is your proof, Agent Johnson?

Where is your proof?

Where is that?

You're right, I blew it.

I should probably go back to the
Organization and look for Judy.

Yeah, you probably should,

but you're the boss, so,
you know, it's your decision.

Yeah. Yeah.

(Whirring sound)

(Judy) Ow!

What was that?

Raccoons!

Well, I am just shocked at the
level of deception in this family.

I am disappointed in all of you.

Really? Well, you're
acting all innocent now,

but you have pulled
plenty of your own stuff

these past few years, Miss Mouth.

I don't know what you're referring to.

(Incredulous chuckle) Well,
shall I play the video for you?

Oh, I think I shall.

Connect your foot.

(Foot snaps into place)

(Whirring sound)

(Trilling sound)

Hello. I'm J.U.D.Y.

I'll be posing as the adorable little
sister that everyone wished they had.

But in reality, I'm here
to assist you on missions.

I can calculate the risk
of any dangerous scenario.

I speak languages, and in a pinch,
I can be used as a flotation device.

(K.C. laughs)

What an adorable little robot.

(Shouts)

R D is a robot, honey, I'm a J.U.D.Y.

Junior Undercover Digital Youth.

And do yourself a favor, don't
get all up in my grill again.

(Laughs joyfully)

Please, please, please.

Ernie, is that you?

Yes, it's me!

You remember me?

More important, you remember you?

Yes, of course. I'm Judy, and
you're my big brother Ernie.

(Relieved sigh)

Wow. I thought for a minute I'd
never reprogram you right.

I'm sorry. Reprogram me?

What does that even mean?

It means you were malfunctioning,
and I needed to reprogram you.

Still not following.

You're a robot.

I'm a robot?!

(Shrieking)

What have you done to me?

Help! Somebody help!

I'm a monster!

(All laughing)

- She is some mess!
- Always.

- Judy, what's wrong?
- Yeah, you okay?

Yeah, it's just...
those are my memories.

It's what makes me a
part of this family.

If you delete them, it's like
you're deleting our journey...

almost like you're deleting me.

Judy, it's not about
footage on a tape, okay?

It's about how we feel about each other.

Yeah, and the way we
have each other's back.

The way that we care about each other.

The way we would do
anything for each other.

That's what family is about.

And I promise you, there is absolutely
no one who could ever delete that.

K.C., that was so sweet and touching...
and totally useless!

Did you forget that I'm a robot?

Once things are deleted,
I'll never remember it again!

You know, she's right.
We don't have a choice.

We're just gonna have to leave all her
memories and suffer the consequences.

Or we can back up all that incriminating
evidence onto a separate hard drive,

send her to the
Organization for an upload,

then reinstall all her
memories when she gets back.

Hmm. You could have mentioned
that about an hour ago!

I would have, but you kept
telling me to leave the room!

No, I didn't.

Really? You don't think so?

Would you like me to replay the footage?

No, no, no, no. Just...
bring it in, guys.

(Happy chuckles)

(Woman) Rob, your name's on TV!
Post Reply