Excuse me.
Excuse me. Excuse me!
This entire school has prom fever.
That's all anybody can talk about.
"I'm going with Kaitlyn,
I'm going with Spencer."
Does anybody care about, I
don't know, the environment,
or perhaps the state of the economy?
Nobody asked you yet?
No. I don't get it; I'm fun.
Look, KC, you still have plenty of time.
I still haven't even
decided who I'm going with.
How many people have asked you?
Just four...
...teen.
Fourteen. Wow. Well,
I'm at negative one.
What? Okay, come on, how
could you be at negative one?
Tony Picadello asked me, then he said,
"Just kidding," and ran
away, laughing, so...
KC, trust me.
Someone fantastic is
gonna ask you to prom.
KC, would you make me the
happiest guy in school and...
Yes, yes, of course.
Talk Marisa into going to prom with me.
Of course. Knew that.
Negative two.
♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ♪
♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪
♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪
♪ But I, I, I, I
keep it undercover ♪
♪ Livin' my life, on red alert ♪
♪ Doin' my thing,
gonna make it work ♪
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪
♪ But I always got your back ♪
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
I keep it undercover.
I keep it undercover.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, excuse me, excuse me.
What are you two doing?
You're smooshing the couch cushions.
Okay? Papa Earl will be here any minute
with his new fiancée.
We don't wanna give him
any reason to criticize Dad.
We need to make sure
everything is perfect.
You heard her, Ernie. Pack your bags.
- Hey, do not talk to Ernie like that.
- Thank you.
At least, not while Papa Earl's here.
We need to maintain the illusion
that we love each other.
In that case, I'll go pack my bags.
Guys, I'm serious, okay?
We need to be loving and
supportive of Dad right now.
What the heck are you
doing, you crazy old man?
What is this holey old shirt?
Oh, please, KC, no matter what I do,
my dad's gonna be on my case.
Your dad's right, KC.
Papa Earl is who he is.
Yeah, mean and critical and never
has a nice thing to say about me.
[rapid knocking on door]
Hey, Papa Earl is in the house!
Betty, I want you to
meet my beautiful family,
and this is my pride and joy.
Oh, yeah.
My boy, my boy.
Oh, Earl, what is wrong with you?
Let him go, come on, let him go...
so I can hug him. [raucous laughter]
Aw, look at that.
And you were worried about
Papa Earl coming to visit.
[all laughing]
Listen up, listen up, listen up.
Am I the luckiest guy on Earth?
I mean, I got the best son in the world.
I got the most beautiful family.
And now, I got this
fabulous woman on my arm.
I really scored, didn't I?
You're not the only one.
Betty gave me the greatest
gift I've ever gotten.
I thought you said I
was your greatest gift.
Things change. Keep up.
So how did you lovebirds meet?
And please talk slowly.
She could use all the
pointers she can get.
Still can't scare up a prom date.
[Betty laughing]
It was so romantic.
I went to his office
in gastric distress.
Ooh, I was tootin'
more than a French horn.
Well, feel free to skip
to the romantic part.
To make a long story short,
I said to her, "I can't
take out your gallbladder."
And I said, "Why not?" And he said...
[both] Because I'd rather
take out the rest of you.
And we've been together ever since.
You know, Betty, you
look really familiar.
I guess I got one of
those kind of faces,
because if we had met,
I would've remembered
a beauty like you.
[Earl] She is beautiful, isn't she?
Takes after her dad.
Look at that bone structure.
Like you were carved out of marble.
Okay.
Okay, thank you, Daddy. Thanks.
What is going on with my father?
What do you mean?
This is a sign of affection.
The only other sign I ever got from him
was a "Do Not Disturb Me" sign.
Your dad's in a good mood,
because he's in love and he's happy.
So when he's happy,
he actually likes me?
Is it too soon to call you Mommy?
Oh, yeah.
Psst.
Don't tell Papa Earl I told you,
but we're eloping to
Las Vegas next week.
[laughs]
I never could keep a secret.
Secret, huh?
Speaking of which, don't tell your mom,
but that bracelet, bucks
at the airport gift shop.
Mm-hm. My mama always said,
"Don't arrive empty-handed,
but don't arrive with
empty pockets either."
I'm worried about Betty.
She told me that she
couldn't keep a secret,
it got me thinking.
You remember that cold
case seminar that we took
- at the Organization?
- Yeah, that was a disappointment.
I thought it was a cold cuts seminar.
The whole time they were
droning on about unsolved cases,
and I was just hankering for
hard salami on pumpernickel.
I was paying attention.
Check out this Margaret
Turner case file.
Okay, so in ,
Margaret Turner stole secret files
that compromised the
Organization's agents
all over the world.
The Organization tracked
her to a hotel on F Street,
but the only thing they found
was a half-eaten room service
waffle and a hairbrush.
What a waste of a perfectly good waffle.
Anyway...
this was the only known
photo of Margaret Turner.
See? Right there. That is her,
the woman who's been using
our decorative hand towels,
Margaret Turner, the traitor.
I don't know what you're talking about.
That doesn't look like Gammy to me.
She's not our Gammy.
Look, Judy, can you use your
photo recognition software?
I can confirm, it is definitely...
an old grainy image of a woman
who may or may not be our Gammy Betty.
Not our Gammy.
Guys, come on, don't you
find it a little suspicious
that, out of nowhere,
suddenly some woman falls
in love with Papa Earl?
I think you should find it inspiring.
It may take another years,
but you'll find a prom date eventually.
Earl, I don't think
I've seen you this happy.
That Betty has put a
sparkle in your eye.
And a hop in my step.
Not to mention, she put
baking soda in my fridge.
Apparently, it smelled
like fish and whatnot.
It's so good to have a
woman back in my life.
Well, it's been a pleasure
getting to know Betty,
and she should get to know me.
Let her know that my
birthstone is Sapphire.
I mean, you deserve
every bit of happiness.
The happier you are, the happier I am.
And that's why you are my favorite son.
Technically, he's your only son.
Hey, don't be correcting my daddy.
He said I'm his favorite,
so I'm his favorite.
Hey, Dad, can I talk to you for a second
- in the backyard?
- Yeah, sure.
Look, Dad, I, uh, I
have some information.
It turns out that Betty's
real name is Margaret Turner.
She's a traitor who
sold Organization secrets
- back in the 's.
- How do you know it's her?
I looked into the
Organization cold case files,
and I found a picture.
Are you kidding me?
I've seen pictures of
Bigfoot clearer than this.
Uh, excuse me.
I have more proof. Yeah.
She told me she couldn't keep a secret.
And get this.
Mom's fancy little bracelet,
airport gift shop.
Do you know how crazy
you sound right now?
Listen.
My dad is happy, which
means he suddenly likes me.
I don't wanna hear
another word about this
unless you have real proof.
[laughing] Oh, good morning.
Come on in, everybody.
I'm makin' waffles!
Yeah.
That! That right there.
That was another piece of
information in the file.
Margaret Turner liked waffles.
Who's crazy now?
KC, everybody likes waffles.
They have syrup-holding pockets!
Get proof or get lost.
Doesn't look like Bigfoot to me.
Well, so...
What are you girls up to?
Judy and I?
We were just playing this little game
I like to play; you should join.
It's called "Where Was
I In the Spring of "?
Okay, I'll go first. Um...
I wasn't born.
Uh, Judy, how about you?
Oh, wasn't born either.
[forced laughter]
So, Betty, you're up.
KC, can I tell you a little secret?
Not that you could stop yourself.
My memory's not what it used to be.
...
I can barely remember
what I ate for breakfast this morning.
It was waffles.
Waffles and lies.
KC, did you ever just consider
she's just a nice lady
who likes your grandfather?
Oh, go charge yourself.
- Hey.
- What is that?
Just a little project
I've been working on.
Are you doing schoolwork?
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
I came up with a solution
to your little prom-blem.
Prom-blem. Did you
see what I did there?
Yeah. In fact, they can see
it from the space station.
Look, I thought, instead
of waiting for some guy
to ask you, why don't you do the asking?
I would, but everybody's taken.
Bup-bup-bup. I have
here in my hands
the board of availability.
Here's a list of every
available guy in school,
along with their height, weight,
and likelihood to rent a limo.
You know, the important things.
What about their personalities?
Tick-tock, you want a date or not?
Now just pick any one of these guys.
[phone chimes]
No, except Bobby Wilcox.
[phone chimes]
And Bobby Whitsett.
Marisa, give it up. This
whole thing is hopeless.
Oh, come on, KC. Don't
give up the fight.
There's still plenty of available guys
at Franklin, Roseland, and Morgan Park.
Marisa, those are all
junior high schools.
Hey, you know what? Some of
those guys are really mature.
[KC coughing]
[Ernie coughing]
Okay, so we need to find
Margaret Turner's case file,
and then we need to get the hairbrush
out of it so we can have a DNA sample.
Wow, this cold case storage room
has more dirt than Marisa's diary.
How would you know?
I didn't become a hacker
just to save the world.
All right, the case files should be
in section five.
Row...
double R,
which is all the way up there.
Ernie, start climbing.
Why do I have to climb?
Why can't we send Judy?
Because if I fall,
it'll cost a lot of money
to repair me, but if
you fall, no one'll care.
I'll care!
Listen, Papa Earl's happiness
depends on what we find.
Come on, man, start climbing.
[sighs] All right.
Just so you know, if I fall,
I'm aiming for you.
Not seeing a row double R up here, guys,
but I do see some tiny adorable puppies.
Wait, they're not puppies.
They're rats.
Rats?!
[shrieking]
Oh, look at that.
Section five, row double
R was down here all along.
Perfect. There's still some hair on it.
Great. Now we just have to get
Betty's DNA and compare the two.
In case anyone was wondering, I'm okay.
The rats broke my fall.
[snoring]
How do we get her DNA?
Blood's always best.
Don't you dare.
Look, all we're gonna do
is get a strand of her hair,
and then compare the DNA samples.
Go ahead, Ernie.
What's with the "go ahead, Ernie"?
You pull the strand of hair.
I already fell off a shelving
unit and took out a family of rats.
I like the woman. You're
the one who's suspicious.
You do it.
Okay, fine. Nobody needs you.
Judy, go ahead.
Sh!
Okay, Plan B.
I'll get the DNA.
Goin' in.
Get in there good.
Massage those gums.
It's where the good DNA is.
I don't know how you do it in D.C.,
but in Atlanta,
we don't stick our fingers
in the houseguests' mouths.
Or anyplace else, for that matter.
Would you like to tell
me, what were you doing?
Oh, we just, um...
we noticed that you
had a little something
stuck in your teeth from lunch, and so,
we didn't want you
to be too embarrassed.
So wakin' up with your hand in my
mouth, that's less embarrassing?
- We're glad you agree.
- [nervous laughter]
Okay, guys, how about we
let Betty and her clean teeth
nap in peace?
I told you we should've gone with blood.
Sh!
KC, if this is about
that old spy case again,
you better have foolproof proof.
Dad, we do. Okay?
Judy ran the DNA test, and it turns out,
it's a % match.
So what I'm hearing is,
there's still a one
percent chance you're wrong.
And I'm not about to risk my
happiness over one percent.
You mean Papa Earl's happiness?
No, mine.
Look, I finally got
the dad I always wanted.
I can laugh with him,
I can hang out with him.
I'm not ready to give that up.
Craig, honey, look, I
know this is upsetting,
but we have a moral responsibility
to enforce the law.
But I still think I can
morally keep the jewelry.
Hey, Dad.
How about me, you, and Ernie go
out for a little bachelor party?
Isn't Ernie a little
young for a bachelor party?
Aren't you a little old for one?
I tell you, Craig, this guy is
even funnier than his haircut.
He must get his sense of humor from you.
Oh, come on, Dad.
[rueful chuckling] I'm
gonna miss happy Daddy.
So, Betty,
guess it's just us gals, huh?
Oh, are we having a bachelorette party?
Because if a policeman
comes in carrying a boom box,
and wearing a rip-away
shirt shows up, I'm in.
Well, there definitely
gonna be policemen involved.
Just not the dancing kind.
Do you know who had a really
super fun bachelorette party?
My twin sister when she
remarried a few years ago.
I woke up with this. Look.
"Beast mode"?
Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did it? Did it really?
Okay, wait, you have a twin sister?
Mm-hmm. Identical twin sister. Midge.
And I know this is
obvious, but she's gorgeous.
Wait a minute, your twin
sister's name is Midge?
Which is short for Margaret.
Which explains why it
was only a % match.
Um, Betty, out of curiosity,
where does Margaret live?
Some remote island off of Puget Sound.
I swear, the woman's such a recluse.
Not for long. She's about
to get a couple of visitors.
Who is it?!
Delivery.
Oh, yeah?
Well, I got something for you, too.
You'll never take me alive.
All right, we're going in.
[laser blasts, glass breaking]
Let me guess.
Betty sold me out.
She never could keep a secret.
All right, KC, I finally found
the perfect prom date for you.
Marisa, please, I do not
wanna hear the word prom
for as long as I live.
No, no, I told you someone
special's gonna ask you,
and I was right.
Okay, no, please, tell me.
Who is this special, magical person
who's gonna show up and make
all my prom dreams come true?
KC Cooper, will you
please do me the honor
of being my prom date?
Aww, Marisa, that's so sweet.
Look, I don't care
how many guys asked me.
There's no one I'd have a
better time with than you.
In that case...
it's a yes.
Yay!
But on one condition.
I'm not wearing a dress.
Oh, no, you're lucky
you have a date at all.
You'll wear that I tell you to wear.
And I have narrowed it down to six
options, so I'm gonna go get 'em.
Well, it was so nice meeting everyone,
and thank you for your hospitality.
You are welcome here any time,
and don't feel it necessary to
bring any more of your amazing gifts,
especially the diamond-cut
earrings that match this bracelet.
No, you don't have to.
Unless you want to.
Well, when it comes
to my daughter-in-law,
I spare no expense.
KC, give Papa Earl a big old hug.
Aww, we're gonna miss you, Papa Earl.
And you, too, Gammy.
Oh!
And I can't wait for
you to meet the family
at Christmas, especially my twin sister.
If she ever calls me back.
I'm sure she'll call you back...
collect from prison.
Hey, Dad, um, I just wanted to say,
um, this was the best visit ever,
and I really appreciate
the way you treated me.
What are you talkin' about?
What nonsense is that?
Come on, Dad.
I know I got on your nerves.
Always have.
But now you got Betty, and you're happy.
You're nice to me.
I know we've had our differences, son,
but I love you
with all my heart,
and I have since the day you were born.
I guess I'm just getting better
at expressing it.
I love you, too, Daddy.
Now get outta my house, old man.
I don't wanna see you till Christmas.
Who's ready to put on a fashion show
♪ for their prom date? ♪
Rob, your name's on TV.