05x12 - Raging Cory

[bunniefuu]

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, in your face!

This is for the game.
Not in my house.

Your house?
I pay the mortgage.

(GRUNTING)

All right,
I got next.

There is no next, Cor. This is
for the Matthews Championship!

Well, I'm a Matthews.

No!

(GROANS)
(WHOOPING)

Eric is the king!

All right, rematch.
Rematch.

No, no, no, no, no.

New season
starts tomorrow.

Don't get fat
in the off-season.

I gotta hit
the showers.

All right, Dad.
Come on. Let's go.

No, Cor. No.
I'm wiped.

I played two hours of racquetball
with Eric this morning.

You were just gonna play Eric.
Come on.

Well, that was for
the championship.

All right, fine. This will
be for our championship.

Come on. Cor, I told you.
I got nothing.

Here. You take it out.

Maybe tomorrow,
all right?

What? If Eric's
not around? Come on.

What?

Never mind, Dad.
Give me the ball.

What? So you can
throw it at me again?

No, forget it.
No, knock it off.

Give me the...
Just give me the ball.

(GRUNTS)

What is wrong with you?

Dad, I'm...

Alan, what happened?

Ask your son.

I swear
I don't know anything.

Cor?

I just wanted to play.

(CRASHING)

(JACK EXCLAIMING)

Oh, yeah.

Hey, the super
told me to tell you

that the people above us
let their bathtub overflow,

and whatever
you do, don't...

Don't poke at the big
bubble on my ceiling?

Yeah. You got
the message?

Yeah. Just now.

My whole room's flooded, and there's a
half a bathtub hanging over my bed.

So stay in my room.

So when people throw
garbage down the chute,

this is where
it winds up, huh?

Are you calling me a pig?

A pig would
never live in here.

Oh, yeah?

I'm sleeping out
on the couch, man.

Shawn, I need to sleep
on your couch.

What happened? I got into
a fight with my dad.

Everybody gets into a
fight with their dad.

Yeah. I knocked him down.

That's not quite
as common.

I wanted to play basketball with
him, like he does with Eric.

I can't believe
you hit your dad.

Now, does he have to leave
the house in shame?

Do you get his woman?

Well, I didn't
actually hit him.

I shoved him,
and he went down.

He does all these
things with Eric.

Why won't he do
things with me?

Well, he's afraid you're
gonna hit him again.

Eric has the good relationship with him.
You know that?

They ski together.
They go camping together.

I even heard them planning on
jumping out of a plane together.

All we do is talk.

Cory, you have a great
relationship with your dad.

I'm not gonna go through
the rest of my life

as the guy my
father talked to.

You know?
Great conversations

are not memories
you look back on.

You have tons of memories
with your dad.

Like what?

Like the time
you b*at him up.

You're gonna talk
about that for years.

George...

It's : in the morning.
Is everything okay?

No, Alan.
Everything's not okay.

I know what happened this
afternoon between you and Cory.

Yeah?

I waited for you.
I waited for Cory.

Nothing.
Nobody came over.

Something like this happens,
somebody should come over.

I mean, he knocked you
on your keister, man.

You're obviously upset,

so, please, can we talk about
it so I can get some sleep?

You want to come in,
George?

Well, yes.

I'm making a little snack.
Help yourself.

Don't mind if I do.

You know, George,

I mean, it's one thing for the
boys to ask for your help,

but I am
a capable adult.

I can handle
this on my own.

You are
absolutely right,

and I am sorry that I
intruded on your privacy.

He pushed me down,
George.

My own son
pushed me down.

Doesn't sound
like Cory.

No, it doesn't.

I mean, he knows if
anything is bothering him,

he can come
and talk to me.

I mean, talking is the
basis of our relationship.

Maybe that's what's
bothering him.

You never stop teaching,
do you, George?

Next time, don't keep
me up all night.

Are you insane?

What? Who sleeps
with the light on?

Me, okay?
When I was a kid,

our trailer park was right
next to an off-ramp.

All night long, truck headlights
shone through the window.

The light comforts me.

You know, when the teamsters
went on strike in ' ,

I didn't sleep till
there was a settlement.

That's a really
lovely story.

It'd make a great
children's book.

Here's another great children's
book, Good Night, Light.

Good night, Shawn.
Good night, pig.

Hey! Hey, Jack, you're
a guest in my room.

Why don't you start
behaving like one?

The pig has a name.
It's Little Cory.

Fine. Good night,
Little Cory.

Good night, pig.

Good night.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

Crickets?

It's a tape.
Sounds of the Trailer Park.

It helps me sleep.

It's actually
kind of soothing.

(TRUCK HORN BLOWING)

WOMAN ON TAPE: Shut up! Shut up!
(DOGS BARKING)

OFFICER: Drop the
w*apon and come out!

(g*n FIRES)

(SIREN WAILING)

Get up! Get up. Get up.

Hey! Hey.

God, I wouldn't have
asked you to stay here

if I knew you were
gonna be so weird.

Oh! Oh.

I'm weird?

You know what puts me to sleep?
A glass of milk,

not the truck that
delivers the milk.

But you'll have
to excuse me.

I was raised in
an actual house.

Oh.

I see.

Well, as long as
you put it that way,

I would be happy
to turn out your lights.

I wouldn't, man. Piedmont
Prep boxing team!

Come on. Let's go.

You know, if I really wanted
to hit you, I would have.

Well, when you want to,
I'll be right here,

asleep in the dark,

like normal people.

Cory.

Cory.
What?

Cory, get up.

No. I don't
want to get up.

I hit my father. That's
gotta be a bad sin.

If this were the Bible,
I'd be a father smiter.

I'd be Cory, son of
Alan the bruised.

Cory, you've got a great
relationship with your father.

You know what?
You shouldn't be here.

If they find you here with
me, they'll stone you.

Save yourself, Topanga,
daughter of Miriam.

Cory, go home and
talk this out with him.

No. That's the whole point, Topanga.
All we do is talk.

You know, that's all
our relationship is.

That's not like
him and Eric.

They do stuff together.
Well, I wanna do stuff, too.

I never want to
talk to him again!

You're coming with us.

Can we talk about this?

Okay! You've successfully
completed the ground course!

Welcome to
your first jump!

(LAUGHING)

Yeah!

I actually, I wasn't paying
attention on the ground,

and I feel I shouldn't
be allowed up here!

You know what I love?
It's the drama!

You know, like, will the
chute open or will it not?

This isn't fair!

When you hit the ground, you
were not , feet above it!

Now, Cory, this is something Eric and
I have been talking about doing.

There's no reason you
shouldn't be a part of it!

So this isn't because
I pushed you down?

Well, yes, it is because
you pushed me down.

You know, if you're that
upset about something,

I have to take a hard look
at what I'm doing wrong.

I just feel like I want to do things
with you, not just talk about stuff.

Well, Cory, I don't
do things with Eric

because I don't want
to do them with you.

It's just the way
Eric and I relate.

Yeah. Dad just
doesn't look at you

as as much of an action-adventure
guy as he looks at me, Cor.

But it takes real guts just to
get up here in the first place.

You did good. You don't wanna
have to jump, you don't have to.

No, no, no! If this is what you
guys do, I'm with you guys.

Okay, Cor,
that's great.

If you wanna jump with
us, then you jump,

or if you wanna
play basketball

or baseball or whatever,
I'll be there,

but just promise
me one thing.

I don't want to lose that
part of our relationship

that I consider
most special!

What?
What?

What?

Special part!
The relationship!

What part is special?

I love when we talk!

You do?
You do?

Yeah! You know, I enjoy your
opinions and your views on things,

and I wouldn't trade being able
to talk to you for anything!

You tell me this now?

Well, yeah! I mean, what
good is playing basketball

or throwing around a
football if you don't have

good conversation,
right, Dad?

All right!
We're at the jump point!

Remember, in the rare
but not impossible event

that your chute
fails to deploy,

just pull on
your red ripcord,

which will engage
your backup chute!

What do you mean,
"fail to open"?

What do you
mean, "deploy"?

Ready to go?

Okay, okay!
Let's do it!

(WHOOPS)

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Cory, wait!

You know, now that we've got our
relationship back on track,

why don't we, you know, go home,
play basketball or something?

Why? Because you're afraid I can't
keep up with you guys, huh?

Well, watch this!

He did it! Come on, boy.
Go! Go get 'em!

Go get 'em!

Hey, how come I don't have
that special relationship

like you have
with Cory?

What?
What?

What?

Well, like, do you value my
views and opinions on things?

Good! His chute opened!

That's great. Listen, all
we ever do is buddy stuff.

We have nothing!
I want more!

From this moment on,
you gotta start listening

to my views on
philosophy, politics,

and what makes
the universe go round!

I don't think so!

Hey, I'm talking to you!

You are going
down, Matthews.

Not in my house,
Matthews!

Come on.

Oh, no!

You jumped out of a plane
rather than talk to me.

No. You're...
You're exaggerating.

The wind sucked me
out like a vacuum.

You hit the ground
and started running!

Momentum.

I just wanted to talk to you, you
know, like you do with Cory.

Eric, I'm in the middle
of a game here.

Talk to me.
No. Give me the ball.

Look, just talk to me.
Give me the ball.

All right, fine. Here.

Did you push
him again?

Dad, are you okay?

No, no!
Stay away from me.

You awake?

What kind of
moron are you?

I can't take this.
You live like a pig,

and you do weird
things during the night.

Like what?

Like you talk in your
sleep, and you snore.

(LAUGHS)

Nice try, Jack,
but that's impossible, okay?

Either I talk or I snore.
You can't do both.

Oh, yeah?

SHAWN: (SNORING) I'm going to the
market to pick up some eggs.

(SNORES)

Rub two eggs together,
and you'll get a spark.

(SNORES)

My head's on fire.
Someone please put it out.

Hey.

Hey! You taped over my Sounds
of the Trailer Park tape!

Yeah, I did. Go to the car
wash and buy a new one.

I don't own a car,
and if I did, Jack,

I would have the pride
to wash it myself,

you hoity-toity, stuck-up,
middle-class snot!

Just 'cause you want to live like
a pig doesn't mean I have to.

Well, yes, it does.

You're my guest,
and this is my room.

Oh, really? Okay.
Here! How about this?

What's all this?
(PIG GRUNTING)

Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey!

You're upsetting my pig!

Now, come on.
Clean this up!

Make me.

(BOTH GRUNT)

Hello, Philly General?

Have any middle-aged
men been admitted

this afternoon with
basketball injuries?

That many, huh?

Eric.

How'd you find me?

You live here.

Not anymore.

I'm volunteering for the
Witness Protection Program.

Eric, you didn't
witness any crime.

I hit my father,
and I saw the whole thing.

By this time tomorrow, I'll
no longer be your brother.

I'll be Dr. Abraham Shapiro of
Passaic, New Jersey, cardiologist.

Eric, Dad's fine.
What's gotten into you?

All we ever do is
pal around, you know?

That's what our
relationship is.

It's not like the relationship
you have with Dad.

I mean, I want to
talk to him, too.

Well, you and Dad talk.

Yeah, we talk. We talk about
the Sixers and the Flyers

and the Baywatch chicks.
I mean, you know.

I don't know. I want to talk about
important stuff like you guys do.

It's time people learned
who the real Eric was.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Dr. Shapiro.

You come in here!
You criticize my room!

You spook my pig, and
you turn out my light!

So?

So, maybe I like
the way I live!

Maybe I wasn't born with
my life on a silver spoon!

Yeah. I like the way
I was brought up!

I like the way
I was brought up.

The only thing I didn't like is I
didn't get to know my brother.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Now say, "uncle."

I don't know
who my uncle is!

I would've liked
to know him, too.

His name's Dave!
His name's Dave.

He's in the corrugated box business.
I can't breathe.

We weren't fighting about
the messy room, were we?

Just think, all those years
we didn't know each other,

we could've been b*ating
the crap outta each other.

I've waited
years to do this.

Oh, yeah? Well, back at you.
Now say, "uncle."

Uncle! Say "uncle"
to your big brother!

Uncle! Uncle Dave
in the box business!

Yes. Yes.

What's the score?

Sons, two.
Dad, nothing.

Amy, what am I
doing wrong here?

You really
want to know?

I'm not doing anything wrong.
I am a very good father.

Yes, you are.

You are a very good father to
your son and your daughter.

We have two sons.

We do?

(LAUGHS)

Here it comes.

Alan, remember how we always
wanted a boy and a girl?

Yeah.

Well, on the way to getting
there, we got two boys.

Two complete boys that want a
complete relationship with their dad,

and now they are
calling you on it.

They have a complete
relationship with me.

No, they don't.

No, they don't.

No. Cory gets your mind,

and Eric gets
the Wide World of Sports.

Well, that's just
the way we are together.

No! Alan,
you are the father.

You have defined
the relationships.

Honey, be proud that we
have raised them so well

that they can tell
you they want more.

We have two boys.

Yeah, we do.

Well, that's
even better.

Yeah, it is.

Dr. Shapiro.

So why did you guys
bring me to a museum?

Well, I wanted to
do something with you

that I've done on
occasion with Cory.

I came here with my school
once, and I really liked it,

so I told Dad about it, and
we've been here a couple times.

What we like to do,
we pick out a piece

and then we try and guess what
the artist is trying to say.

How about this one?

It's fascinating.

Topanga and I plan
to own one someday.

What do you think the artist
is trying to say, Eric?

It's abstract.

It means what it means.
There's no right or wrong.

A monkey.

Two monkeys, and they're
fighting over a coconut,

which symbolizes the
father monkey's attention.

Uh, this may not have
been a good idea.

Well, Dad, it is open to
interpretation, you know?

My interpretation is that
the artist is illustrating

a very painful
situation,

where the father monkey has two
sons, but only one coconut,

so he splits
the coconut in half,

but only a half a coconut
isn't enough for either son.

Uh-huh.

So, what kind of art you
wanna talk about now?

Neoclassicism? Impressionism?
Photographic art?

Ansel Adams,
American landscape?

He's probably my favorite,
but you didn't know that.

No, I... I didn't.

How do you know
about all this?

I learned about it
at school.

We just, you know,
never talked about it.

Didn't think you'd
want to hear it from me.

I just always tried to be the person
I thought you wanted me to be.

You know, I'd really love to hear what
you have to say about this piece.

I would love
to tell you.

What you doing, Dad?

Taking down this hoop.

No good can
come from it.

Hey, Morgan.

We have a pretty good
relationship, right?

I guess so.
Yeah.

We talk, right?

Yeah.

And we have fun, right?

Yeah.

I should've
had all girls.