01x03 - The Damaged Room

[bunniefuu]

(SOOTHING LULLABY CHIMING)

WOMAN: Good night, sweetheart.

MAN: Sweet dreams, pumpkin.

MAN: Come on. Let's go to bed.

(THUNDER RUMBLING IN THE DISTANCE)

(COOS)

(GIGGLES)

(BABBLES)

(HUMMING)

- (GASPS) Oh! There's my favorite girl.
- (GIGGLES)

There she is.

Coochy-coochy-coochy-coochy-coo.

- (SCATTING AND BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
- (GIGGLING)

(SNIFFS) Oh.

(SNIFFS)

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

(SNEEZES)

(EXCLAIMS AND YELPS)

(SCREAMING, GRUNTS)

(WHIMPERING)

(GIGGLING)

(GROANING)

(GASPS) Oh, no!

- Uh...
- (COOING)

Do you think your parents will notice?

Yeah? I do, too.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

- Uh, we got a really big problem.
- What did you do this time?

I'm so sorry, Maria.

I, uh, damaged the room.

Damaged room

(ALARM BLARING)

Damaged room alert!

Damaged room alert.

Please cease all amusing activities at once and evacuate Laugh Floor after in a non-humorous manner.

It's a , people.
We're clearing the Laugh Floor

but nobody gets the day off.

Phlegm, what happened?

Oh, I have a cold.

And when I was in the room, I sn... I sne...

(GASPS) Aye, mocco.

(SIGHS) Sorry, Maria.

He damaged the room of our best giggler.

We gotta get this room back online stat.

I'll get this work order over to MIFT.

The crowd is breathless as he's going for the longest kick of the season.

And here's the field goal to win...

There goes footsie ball.

(SIGHS) You win again, empty chair.

You know, us hangin' out here, all hangin' out and stuff, reminds me of all those times we hung out at MU.

- Did we hang?
- Yep!

I'm pretty sure we had that, just that one class together.

Look alive, guys, we've got a .

Four-eighteen? I'm on it, sir.
(CLICKS TONGUE)

That's the MIFTer spirit, Duncan.
And take Tylor with you.

Oh, no. I'm not taking college boy.

Okay, then. Val, you take Tylor.

(GASPS) Cool! Our first together.

- Whoa, whoa, not so fast.
- What's a ?

Four-eighteen.

A is code for "damaged room".

When a kid's room gets damaged, we go in and fix it.

- A real kid's room?
- Don't forget your helmets.

I don't need a helmet.

That's the last thing Jimmy said.

Was a temp. Went on a .

Forgot his helmet, family dog showed up.

- Thought he was a chew toy.
- Tragedy.

I had his dented helmet bronzed if you wanna see it.

Tylor, there is no better way for a new MIFTer to learn than on the job.

- Now get movin'.
- Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy...

Four-eighteen. Got it.

Okay. I'll get that. No, no.

Sorry. We're just...
I'm okay. I'm just...

Are you sure, sir, that you don't wanna send in, say, an expert?

- Like moi?
- TYLOR: Back out.

He'll do fine!

(YELLS)

(PANTING)

Still time to change your mind.

Look at us. College buds.

Makin' new memories. Just like old times.

I don't remember any "us" memories.

You probably just need a smell or something to help you remember.

- (GASPS)
- Whoa. Phlegm's phlegm is dangerous stuff.

I gotta say, I am impressed.

This is a big job. We're gonna need Cutter's help.

(GASPS) What are you doing?

If I'm gonna be a jokester, I gotta make a kid laugh, right?

(WHISPERS) Watch this.
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

- (WHIMPERING)
- No. No tickle, tickle.

WOMAN: I thought I heard something.
Can you go check on her?

MAN: (GROANS) We can't run in there every time she cries.

She's gotta learn to self soothe.

Let's get back to bed. You know I have spin class tomorrow.

(BOTH SIGH IN RELIEF)

- (THUNDERCLAP)
- (BOTH GASP)

(COOING)

MIKE: Baby?

We have to take the baby out?

- Just while we make the repairs.
- Nope.

No kids allowed in Monster's Inc. or Monstropolis.

If she wakes up and the parents catch us, boom! Dead door.

Wait, what if I take her out and keep her asleep...

- No, no, no!
- Come on, Mike.

Not after what happened last time with Boo.

Remember? (DEEP VOICE)
"Ooklay in the agbay".

Is he speaking French?

(NORMAL VOICE) Our lives were almost ruined.

That won't happen again.

If we can't fix it in time we've got ourselves a dead door.

I'll do it!

- (CHUCKLES) You?
- Yes, me.

You see, Sulley, there's a difference between you and me.

- I'm tall and you're short.
- No.

- I'm blue, you're green.
- No.

- Awesome horns. Little nubs.
- No!

- Furry, not furry.
- No.

- Huggable, less huggable.
- No! And stop it!

Unlike you, Sulley, I can control my feelings.

I'm immune to kids' cuteness.

Oh, googly bear.

(ALL WHIMPERING)

- SMITTY: Get out.
- But I just got in.

- But it's my turn to ride in the bucket.
- If you'll excuse me.

Your big butt will get stuck like last time.

- Needleman, out.
- (GROANS)

- Wait.
- NEEDLEMAN: My bucket.

You're gonna put the baby in that bucket?

You see a bucket. I see a thing-holder.

Watch and learn.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(COOS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

All right, little snoring thing.

You're coming with me.

All righty.

Operation no wakey baby has commenced.

All righty, everybody.

We're burning moonlight.

We need to get that room repaired fast!

Let's go, buddy.

This sort of reminds me of that simulator project we did for the MU scare fair.

When the cannister blew and Slaatten's tail got caught in fire.

No, I don't remember. I'm pretty sure I'd remember Slaatten on fire.

- (EXCLAIMS) Remember he's like runnin' around.
- Hey!

- Remember?
- Enough memory lane, kiddos.

It's go time.

VAL: (WHISPERS) Slaatten's on fire, Slaatten's on fire.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(VAL GRUNTING)

(TAPE RIPPING)

TYLOR: Oh. (GRUNTS) Ow.

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTING)

Let me help you with that, rookie.

- Okay, here.
- Gonna wake...

- You just... Do not... You st...
- No. Stop. Give it.

You guys okay? (GASPS)

- Uh... Everything's under control.
- (THUNDER RUMBLES)

(SNORING)

I just want you to know that cute snoring thing that you do?

- Doesn't affect me.
- (DOOR OPENS)

- (EXCLAIMS)
- Hey, Mike!

(CRYING)

(SHUSHING)

- (WHISPERS) How's it going?
- Perfect. No problem.

See? I'm not even affected by little Snore.

Wait. You named it?

Um... (HESITATING) I...

You told me once that if you name it...

You start getting attached to it. And no, this is different.

- How?
- I just can't call it "thing".

For example, if somebody came in and said,

"Hey, Mike, can I borrow that thing?"

How would I know what they're talkin' about?

Snore or a stapler? It's completely different.

I just came by to tell you Rant just gave me two tickets to the baseball game.

(GASPS) The Monstropolis Creepees versus the Red Shocks?

Yeah. Awesome seats, too.

Oh, that's great! When are we going?

We? Oh, uh, it's today's game.

I was gonna ask you but since you're babysitting

- I was gonna see if Fungus wanted to go.
- Fungus?

- (GASPS)
- (MIKE WHIMPERING)

Fungus? He knows zip about baseball.

I'm the Creepees biggest fan.

Look, look, look.

And an autographed picture of me with TJ Clawson.

I've got tons of monsterobilia.

Take Fungus to the opera.

You're taking me to the game.

What about little Snore?

Leave that to me.

Hey. Remember when Professor Knight gave that room protocol lecture and you fell asleep? (SNORES)

- No, I don't.
- Or did I fall asleep?

Maybe I dreamt I was awake and you were asleep.

You were definitely asleep and you were snoring like...

Val! Val. I don't remember.

(GRUNTING)

Oh!

(BOTH GASP)

Hello.

(SOFTLY) Duncan, what are you doing here?

(WHISPERING) As deputy supervisor, it's one of my many duties to oversee my employees.

We are not your employees.

Okay. Subordinates. Whatever.

I'll just be over here taking notes on your... (HISSING) performance.

(GRUMBLES)

Wow. Comfy. Yeah.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(MIKE HUMMING EXCITEDLY)

- SULLEY: Mike.
- MIKE: I'm being a good Snore-sitter.

BOB: It's a monstrous night for baseball here at Creepees stadium.

We're in the middle of the first between your Monstropolis Creepees and the visiting Boostown Red Shocks.

MONSTER: Go Red Shocks!

I'm Bob Yucker and

TJ Clawson is making a run for the history books tonight.

After yesterday...

Pardon me. Coming through.

Baby on board.

Oh, here we are. Ooh! In the front row.

(CHANTING) Let's go Red Shocks!

Pardon me, do you mind keeping your screams to a whisper?

- SULLEY: Mike...
- (LOUDLY) Come on, Creepees!

BOB: And here's the man of the hour.

TJ Clawson's stepping to the plate and this crowd is going wild!

- (CROWD CHEERING)
- What a team!

There's no stopping us now.

BOB: Jose Fingers on the mound for the Shocks, stares in for a sign and here he comes, a three-ball pitch.

TJ Clawson, a swing and a drive to deep left field, way back.

Get up! The Green Monster is gonna catch it though and he does.

Oh...

BOB: Nothing gets past the Green Monster.

(CHUCKLES MOCKINGLY) Yeah!

(CHANTING) Let's go Red Shocks!

- (BABY WHINING)
- Hi there.

(CHANTING) Let's go...

Red Shocks fan, huh? Well, I, for one, can appreciate that.

Team spirit and all.

But us Creepees fans put family first, and like to keep things calm and noiseless.

For the children.

- BOB: And don't forget...
- (GROWLS)

Thank you, buddy.

I'm not sure this was such a good idea, bringing the baby.

Oh, oh, I see. You get to go out and have fun while I'm stuck taking care of the baby.

But you got to go...

No. I'm sure you would've rather brought Fungus than dragged boring old me and the baby.

- You're not boring. I didn't mean...
- I get it.

- (BABY CRYING)
- There. See what you've done.

What I've done? Maybe she's hungry.

- Give me your rotdog.
- You can't give a human baby a rotdog.

Oh! Now all of a sudden you're the expert.

I'm just saying, you don't know what's in those things.

My mother always said, "You make 'em try something once, or they'll become picky eaters".

Don't let that big hair ball tell you what you like and don't like,

- my little grubby wubby.
- (BABY BURPS)

- Whoa!
- (BABY BURPS)

Now that's a burp. See? She loves it.

Now it's time to earn your minimum wage.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

- (THUNDER RUMBLES LOUDLY)
- Now!

And now.

And...

And as your deputy supervisor, I should warn you that you're running out of time.

Speaking of time, it's time for my union lunch break.

I got a date with a hot beef steak on rye.

Mmm, sounds delicious.

He ain't no sandwich. (CHUCKLES)

All right. I'll see you after lunch.

Whoa, whoa. You can't leave, too.

Yeah, I have to. I've got comedy class.

Mike's not even teaching it today.

- Get back in here.
- I...

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS)

(POWERS DOWN)

BOB: In the number two slot is Robbie Rotten Robertson...

- (BABY BLABBERING)
- (SNIFFS)

You smell something, Sulley?
I think my rotdog's gone fresh.

- Well, it ain't me. It's...
- (BABY GIGGLING)

- Huh?
- BOB: He rips one down the line and...

(COUGHING)

PLAYER: Hey! Batter. Swing, batter!

Whoa. Wow, that's fresh.

Makes my eye water.

- Hey, pal, buddy.
- Nope.

Nothing's more important than our friendship.

- Nope.
- Come on. You know...

- Nope. No.
- You owe me for that favor I did for you.

- That one time.
- Nope.

- Favor...
- (SLURPING)

- That I did. I'll pay you!
- (SLURPING LOUDLY)

You're the one who insisted on giving her the rotdog.

I didn't know it would make its way through so quickly.

These humans are weird.

I still haven't passed something from seven months ago.

You know, my mother always said, "What goes in must come out".

- (BABY COOS)
- I never liked your mother.

VAL: All cleaned up.

This is just like that time in Toxicity Studies when you melted the table...

We took one class together.
It's gotta be someone else.

Just think. In nine more years of being my junior assistant apprentice intern, you'll graduate to being my assistant apprentice intern.

Dreams really do come true, huh?

- (CHUCKLING)
- (SIGHS)

- (GRUNTS) Whoa, whoa!
- (THUDS)

- No, no, no.
- WOMAN: What was that?

MAN: I don't know. Let's check it out. You lead.

(WHISPERING) They're coming.
The parents are coming.

You big old klutzy klutz, klutz.

(TYLOR GRUNTING)

VAL: Get out of here!

(EXCLAIMS)

(EXCLAIMING)

(GASPS)

Everybody, hide.

BOB: Oh, no. They're in trouble, folks.

It's the bottom of the fifth and the Creepees are still down, three-two.

Ron Volasko has one more sh*t at a base hit here.

MONSTER: Go Red Shocks! Come on!

BOB: Fingers working from the stretch. Here he comes.

Volasko, a swing and a miss. He struck him out.

Oh, brother, did you miss it.

Clawson hit two fast balls.

Oh, I got a good feelin' tonight's the night.

Isn't that great? I'm so glad that you enjoyed it.

Oh, uh... Hmm...

Well, if there's anything you need me to help out with.

How about you're cooking dinner tonight and doin' the dishes.

Cooking? Well, uh, maybe we can order out.

Order out? Order... That's all we do.

Why can't we for once have a nice home-cooked family meal together?

- Answer me that!
- SULLEY: But you like ordering out.

- (GROWLS)
- That was before the baby.

Hey! You two windbags mind?

- I'm trying to watch the game.
- (BABY CRYING)

Mind your own business.
This is between us.

- (GROWLS)
- It's okay, Snore. Go back to sleep. Shh.

SULLEY: Mike, do something.

(CHANTING) Let's go, Red Shocks.

- Maybe you could sing to her.
- Sulley, we're at a baseball game.

- (CHANTING) Let's go, Red Shocks.
- I'm not gonna sing to her.

(CHANTING LOUDLY) Let's go, Red Shocks!

- Shh. It's okay, Snore. Go back to sleep.
- (CRYING)

MONSTER: (CHANTING)
Let's go, Red Shocks!

There you go. That's good.

MONSTER: (CHANTING)
Let's go, Red Shocks!

Boo! You swing like a baby!

- A really wicked, ugly baby!
- Okay, that's it!

Listen, gasbag.

How is the baby here supposed to sleep with you makin' all that racket?

You's talking to me?

Uh, no, actually.

I was rehearsing a play that we're doing with our local theater group. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah. It's called "How's that baby supposed to sleep with you making all that racket?"

WOMAN: I know I heard something.

(DOOR CREAKS)

Sweetheart, you okay?

- DUNCAN: I'm fine.
- (WOMAN GASPS)

DUNCAN: Uh, just very sleepy.

Thank you, parent. Good night. (KISSES)

- WOMAN: Her first words.
- MAN: Wow!

WOMAN: Did you hear that? Her first words!

MAN: And complete sentences, too.

WOMAN: She's gonna be a genius.

- MAN: Yes!
- WOMAN: I gotta call my mother.

MAN: We are such great parents.

I told you, co-sleeping with her the first year would make her smart.

Dad of the year. Right here.

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

(WHISPERS) Hey. You guys good?

A cast of about eight or nine.

If you wanna come backstage and say hi we can do that.

Um, but you're really making way too much out of this.

(GROWLS) Who brings a stupid baby to a baseball game?

- What did you just say?
- Uh, he didn't mean it.

I said, what kind of class-A moron, ingrate, ding dong brings a stupid baby to a baseball game?

(BABY WHINING)

That's what I thought you said.

- SULLEY: Mike...
- Nobody.

Not even an overgrown ogre in makeup, calls our baby stupid!

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah!

Come on. Put up your dukes!

(CROWD CHEERING)

- Go, Clawson!
- You want a piece of me?

(CROWD CHEERING)

- Yeah!
- Come on, come on.

(GRUNTING)

- (THUDS)
- SULLEY: Oh, yeah!

Whoa, Mike. Did you do that?

A home run fly ball!

An actual Monstropolis Creepees,

TJ Clawson, record breakin' home run ball.

- And it's all mine.
- (GROANING)

Before our friend here comes to, I think maybe we should get going.

Good idea, Mike. Let's go.

You know, we gotta get little Snore here back to her room.

(GASPING)

- What did you do to the door?
- Nothing. I closed it.

- You were the last one to touch it.
- So? This isn't my fault.

Explain why this door deactivated for no reason.

You keep distracting me with...

(MOCKING) "This reminds me of this time,

You remember that time we and this time..."

- This reminds of that time...
- (NORMAL VOICE) See?

How many times do I have to tell you, I don't remember.

Why is it so important to you?

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

Because...

Because...

(SIGHS)

When I first got to MU...
(SIGHS) no one noticed me.

(SIGHS) And then... (SNIFFLES)

... one day, in class,

you spoke to me.

(VAL SNIFFLES)

You said,

"Excuse me. Is this seat taken?"

Huh. Door's deactivated.
Uh, that can't be good.

(POWERING ON)

You guys know the door got turned off?

(GASPS) A rescue party! (PANTING)
Out of the way, sub-ordinates.

Oh, I just need to
breathe some stale air.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(SIGHS)

(COUGHING)

Coming through.

Excuse me. Coming through.

Great job, MIFT.

Now, let's get that baby back where she came from.

- (BABY COOING)
- There. Okay. There you go.

(SQUEAKS)

(EXCLAIMS)

- Shh, shh, oh...
- (BABY WHINES)

- Oh, It's, it's okay. Shh, It's okay.
- (COOING)

Mike, maybe you should sing to her.

What? I am not gonna sing her a song.

- You have a beautiful voice.
- Go on.

- (WHINING)
- No. I'm not go...

CELIA: Googly Bear.

- (WHINING)
- (SHUSHES) Okay.

Okay, okay, okay, I'll do it.

But just for you.

(CHIMING)

(SINGING) ♪ I put you back back where you came from ♪

♪ I put you back back where you belong ♪

♪ I put you back back where you came from ♪

♪ And I'm not gonna sing you a song ♪

♪ I don't care about you ♪

♪ Not one single bit ♪

♪ I don't care about you at all ♪

♪ I don't care about you so don't think I do ♪

♪ And I'm not gonna sing you a song ♪

♪ Your sweet simple smile doesn't brighten my day ♪

♪ Your eyes don't reach into my heart ♪

♪ Your wiggly toes don't tickle my nose ♪

♪ And quite frankly you smell like a rose ♪

(CHUCKLES)

(SINGING) ♪ I'm putting you back back where you came from ♪

♪ And like I told you I won't sing a song ♪

♪ I put you back back where you came from ♪

♪ And now it's hard to say... ♪

(SNORING)

(WHISPERS) Good night, Snore.

(SINGING) ♪ So long ♪

Oh, Googly Bear, you and Sulley took such good care of her.

MIKE: Yeah. Maybe me and Sulley will have
a little grubby wubby of our own.

- CELIA: Mike!
- MIKE: I'm just kidding, schmoopsie poo.

(MIKE CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS) That was close.

But we, uh, got through it.
Didn't we? (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Like our Origins of Fear class.

But you don't remember me.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

"You picked the best seat in the house".

What?

When I asked, uh, "Is this seat taken?"

You... You said, "You picked the best seat in the house.

You remember.

Yeah. You, uh, you even shared your Hot Snots candy with me.

(CHUCKLES)

I remember that because it's, uh, it's my favorite.

(SIGHS) College buds.

College buds. Yeah.

Hey, but look at us now.

Makin' new memories.

Work buds.

Yeah, work buds. Why not?

(GASPS AND CHUCKLES) Hey. I know where Duncan hides his Hot Snots.

- Really? Where?
- (CHUCKLES) Under Roto's cage.

- Oh. Oh, that. No.
- I eat it all the time.

- No. That's not candy.
- Yeah.

- It definitely is.
- No. That's...

- We're gonna eat it. Work buds.
- Don't eat them.

(SINGING) ♪ Candy, candy, candy... ♪

Val, no.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

MIKE: All right.

All you future jokesters settle down, please.

Settle down.

Now today will be the evaluation of the laugh potential of this round, bladder-like item humans call the hoopie cushion.

- (ALL GASP)
- That's awesome.

As you can see, I have pre-inflated it according to the instructions and will now place it on the chair and await the comedy.

- (CLASS EXCLAIMS SOFTLY)
- Here we go.

Just keep watching.

It's gonna be great. (CHUCKLES)

Here it comes.

Comedy.

(CLICKS TONGUE) Hmm.

(SQUEAKING)

It should be workin' fine.

It says right here in the manual,

"Inflate it to its full capacity and then..."

(FARTING)

You k*lled it!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

BOB: That's our broadcast for tonight.

So long, everybody.

You have been listening to the Creepees Radio Network and I'm Bob Yucker.