02x07 - Society of the Blind Eye

[bunniefuu]

♪ Ta dum, locking up ♪ Shoo, possum, shoo.

Git, McGucket, git!

♪ Ta dum, ta dum ♪ Good night, diner.

Good night, trees.

Good night, tiny men stealing my pie.

Wait. What?!

Lift with your knees. No, your knees.

If I go one more hour without eating, I'm gonna resort to cannibalism.

Ma'am.

Little magic men.

What does it mean? What do I do?

Yes, hi. I'd like to report something.

I'm at Greasy's Diner.

You won't believe what I've witnessed.

It's unbelievable. It's indescribable.

It's...

It is unseen.

Well, back to pie.

I was this close to eating you, Steve.

All right, author, who are you?

Who are...

Bleccch!

Not again.

Hey, bro-bro, look what I got.

Yay, a filthy green bottle.

It's a bottle message from Mermando, remember?

He was part fish, part shirtless guy.

What if he wants to get back together?

I wouldn't get your hopes up, Mabel.

Too late. Hopes are way, way up!

"Dear Mabel...” So far so good.

"It is with a heavy heart..."

So far, so good.

"that I must inform you, I'm getting married"?!

And there it is.

"In order to prevent an undersea civil w*r, arranged wedding, queen of the manatees..."

And she's so beautiful.

This can't be happening.

Oh, Mabel, you'll get over him eventually.

You don't understand, Dipper.

On my first day here, I made this page for summer romances.

Look at my luck.

Turned out to be gnomes, child psycho, made out with his own hands.

And now...

I wish I could just forget about them forever.

Hey, if it's any consolation, my summer mission isn't a huge success either.

I'm still trying to find the author of this journal.

With his laptop smashed, I've lost any lead in finding him.

Wait a minute. Dipper, look!

Through your bottle? Just do it.

"McGucket Labs.” Wait. Old Man McGucket?

Dipper, you don't think...

Couldn't be.

Doesn't make any sense, unless...

This matches with this.

This goes over here.

And then the name... So that would mean Old Man McGucket wrote the journal?!

♪ Am I blanchin', girl, we blanchin' ♪

♪ I live up in a mansion ♪

♪ Am I blanchin', girl, we blanchin' ♪

♪ I live up in a mansion ♪ Ugh! I can't get that terrible song out of my head.

You mean "Straight Blanchin'" by Li'l Bigg Dawggg?

It's the catchiest song of the summer.

What is blanchin'?

Rappers can't just make up words.

Rappers are visionaries, Wendy.

If they told me to eat my own pants, I would do it.

♪ Eat your own pants, eat your own pants ♪ I guess I have no choice.

Wendy, Soos, we need to go see Old Man McGucket.

We'll explain on the way. Gah!

Hey, what about work?

Kids!

Why is Soos eating his own pants?

Old Man McGucket, are you here?

Here, hillbilly, billy, billy, billy.

That's good.

Took an hour to think of this, but it was worth it.

Ha!

Get outta here, you salt lickin', hornswagglin'...

McSuckit. They got me good.

Visitors!

Come, come. Pull up some rusty metal.

You're just in time for my hourly turf w*r with the hillbilly what lives in my mirror.

Quit starin' at me when I bathe!

You can drop the act, McGucket.

I know you're the author.

You studied the mysteries of this town and wrote this book.

Dude, you're the genius Dipper's been searching for all summer.

Uh, genius?

I'm no genius.

I never done nothin' worthwhile in my life.

Everyone knows I'm no good to nobody.

I can't remember what I used to be, but I must've been a big failure to end up like this.

But the laptop has your name on it.

What about this book? Are you sure you didn't write it?

Here, look closely.

I told you, I don't recall.

Everything before 1982 is just a blur.

Just a hazy...

The Blind Eye!

Robes. The men. My mind.

They did something. Who did?

I... Oh, I don't recall.

Oh, you poor old man.

No wonder your mind's all.

You've been through something intense.

What if McGucket learned something he wasn't supposed to know, and someone, or something, messed with his mind?

We've got to get to the bottom of this.

Think, dude. What is the earliest thing you can remember?

Uh, this is, I think.

The History Museum.

That's where we're going.

♪ Am I blanchin', girl, we blanchin' ♪ Ugh, Soos!

Ugh!!

I'll buy you a new one.

Hello? Anyone here?

All right, keep your eyes peeled for anything suspicious.

Mabel, are you okay?

You just walked by a cat without petting it.

Oh, Wendy, everything I look at reminds me of my failed romances.

That formaldehyde heart.

That romantic diorama.

Even this poster of my most recent ex-crush.

Aw, come on!

So your last memory was here.

Anything coming back? Guys, look!

Hey, who's there?

Well, kettle my corn. He vanish-ified.

It doesn't make sense.

Where did he go?

I feel like all these eyeballs are a-watchin' me.

Wait.

They are.

Move aside.

Jackpot!

A secret passageway.

We'll have to be stealthy.

I'll hambone a message if there's trouble.

I have no idea what that means.

Who is the subject of our meeting?

This woman.

Lazy Susan?

What is it that you have seen?

Speak!

Uh, well, uh, I was leaving the diner, and I saw these little bearded doodads, and I was, like, "Whaaaa?"

There, there.

You won't be "Like whaaaa" for much longer.

What is that gizmo?

It looks like a hair dryer.

Are you guys barbers?

Lazy Susan, what do you know of little bearded men?

My mind is clear, thanks to the Society of the Blind Eye.

It is unseen.

Oh, my gosh.

They erased Lazy Susan's memory.

Guys, are you seeing this?

They just wiped Lazy Susan's memory.

They should've wiped off that awful mascara.

I think she looks beautiful.

She's doing the best she can, Soos.

Whoa, touched a nerve there.

Lazy Susan, how do you feel?

I feel great!

I can't even remember what was wrong, or what I'm doing here, or if I'm a man or a woman.

Your memories will be safe with us, buried in the Hall of the Forgotten.

Into the Hall of the Forgotten.

Into the Hall of the Forgotten.

Good chanting, boys. Have you been practicing?

Meeting adjourned.

Unsee you later. Unsee you later.

Unsee you later.

Unsee you later.

Amazing.

A secret society of evil mind erasers.

I'll bet they erased your memory a long time ago.

If we could find where you memories have been hidden, it could be the key to unlocking all the mysteries of Gravity Falls.

All right, Mabel, Wendy, you two stay here and make sure those robe guys don't come back.

Whooo! Girls club.

Soos, you, me, and McGucket are gonna go find the Hall of the Forgotten.

Whoa!

Follow that hat!

Halt! Is someone there?

Aah! What do we do? Where do we go?

Man, these are really poorly made.

I could've sworn I heard someone.

Probably just the janitor kissing that wax settler woman again.

Woof! Remind me to erase that from my memory.

Whew! There it is.

Hurry!

Honey fogelin', salt lickin' skullduggery.

Man, you have got to teach me some of those old-man swear words.

I just don't get it, Wendy.

I hug a lot, I can burp the alphabet, I have scratch and sniff clothing.

Why does every boy leave me?

Pfft, who cares? Boys are the worst.

You shouldn't get hung up, man.

Maybe I come on too strong, you know?

Well, what's your opener?

Pretend I'm a boy.

Mmm, testosterone.

Hi. I'm Mabel! I'm 12 and own a pig!

Wanna get married?!

Honestly? That was perfect.

You should just forget about guys, man.

Wendy, that's it. Forget about guys.

I just need to type "summer romances” into this thing, and I won't feel bad about them anymore.

Whoa, hold up, Mabel. We don't even know what that thing does.

You could accidentally erase, like, learning to read or breathe or...

Or one of those terrible summer songs you can't get out of your head?

Look at all these tubes.

People must've been getting their memories erased all over town.

Whoa, look at this.

Tell us, Robbie, what is it that you have seen?

So I was att*cked by this magic kung fu guy that was throwing, like, balls of fire at me.

I kicked his butt, though.

Robbie, speak honestly.

I was saved by a 12-year-old.

Why are they erasing people's memories?

I still don't get it.

Looky, fellers.

It's those words what people call me.

Oh, dude, your memories. We did it.

Grabby grabby.

I got it!

I don't know, Mabel. Are you really sure this is a good idea?

All ideas are good ideas.

Do you hear that?

The alarm in my brain is a-ringin' again. Ah!

Halt! Who's there?

Oh, no! Run.

Get back here!

Oh, you've really tarred it up now, Fiddleford.

This is all your fault.

Why does my beard have a bandage?

Does that even make sense?

Why has no one pointed that out?

Okay, I think we're safe.

We playing "Guess Who"?

Dude, I know it's you, Dipper.

Such big, strong hands.

You shouldn't have come here.

We do not give up our secrets lightly.

Who are you bathrobe-wearing freaks?

Why are you doing this?

What's with your creepy British accent?

Well, I suppose we are going to erase your minds anyway.

Toby Determined?

Bud Gleeful?

That farmer guy?

Creepy dude who married a woodpecker?

You, too? How's that marriage goin', by the way?

Oh, great, great.

Not great.

And you've never met me before.

And if you had, you wouldn't remember.

I am Blind Ivan, and we are the Society of the Blind Eye.

Formed many years ago by our founder...

Our founder... Does anyone remember who he was?

We've been usin' that ray on our own brains an awful lot.

Why would you do all this? What do you have to gain?

As you have no doubt discovered, Gravity Falls is a town plagued with supernatural strangeness.

No one knew how to stop the things that went bump in the night, so our founder invented the next best thing-- a way for us to forget.

We took it upon ourselves to help the troubled townsfolk by erasing the memories of the strange things they've seen.

Now the people of Gravity Falls go about their lives ignorant and happy, thanks to us.

And as a perk, we help ourselves forget things that trouble us.

Everyone has something they'd rather forget.

In fact, your own sister was about to use that ray on herself.

Isn't that right?

Mabel? Seriously?

Ha-ha. Maybe.

Don't you see? This is ruining lives.

What about Old Man McGucket?

He lives in a hut and talks to animals, thanks to you.

Don't you feel bad about that?

Mmm, maybe a little.

But not anymore.

You won't be telling anyone else what you've learned here.

Say good-bye to your summer.

Guys, if we're gonna forget everything, I got some stuff I wanna get off my chest.

Mabel, for half the summer, I thought your name was Maple, like the syrup. No one corrected me.

I only love some of my stuffed animals, and the guilt is k*lling me!

Sometimes I use big words and I don't actually know what they mean.

I mean, I'm supposed to be the smart guy.

If I'm not the smart guy, who am I?

Okay, I'm not actually laid back.

I'm stressed, like, 24/7.

Have you met my family?

Oh, stop being a bunch of babies.

Owie!

McGucket?!

I raided the mining display for weapons.

Now fight like a hillbilly, fellers.

Nobody better mess.

They know too much. Don't let them escape!

Get this song outta your head.

Dysentery's gonna get you, dawg.

McGucket's memory tube!

Oh, no, you don't.

Mabel, catch.

I'll take that, thank you.

Give it up, boy.

You're no match for the unstoppable power of...

That's right, I don't wear nothin' under my robe.

Not gonna apologize for that.

Maybe y'all should apologize for bein' a bunch of prudes.

Eww!!

Time to erase that forever.

Give me that tube. Never!

That memory belongs to McGucket.

The society's secrets belong to us.

End of the line.

By tomorrow, this will all seem like a bad dream.

Say good-bye to your precious memories.

No!!

McGucket, you took a b*llet for me.

Oh, my gosh! Are you okay?

Okay as I'll ever be.

What?

Why... Isn't... This... Working?

Hit me with your best sh*t, baldy.

My mind's been gone for 30-odd years.

You can't break what's already broken.

Say good night, Sally.

Unhand us!

It isn't so fun being tied up, is it?

Hey, wanna draw on their faces? What?

Tra-la-la... Hey, stop that!

That's not funny.

It's pretty funny.

It's, like, objectively funny.

We'll have our revenge.

We'll never forget what you've done.

Oh, I think you just might.

Say cheese.

Thanks for visiting the museum for "Gold Miner Appreciation Night".

Be sure to tip the gold miner on your way out.

I'm sorry, but what's my name?

Where am I?

Oh, might have overdone that one.

Your name is Toot-Toot McBumbersnazzle.

You're a traveling banjo minstrel, with a song in your heart and funny tattoos on your head.

Yes, I am Toot-Toot McBumbersnazzle. Cheers!

♪ Toot-Toot is my name ♪ All right, McGucket.

Are you ready to see your memories?

Find out who you really are?

I'm not so sure.

What if I don't like what I see?

We've come all this way. Go on.

My name is Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, and I wish to unsee what I have seen.

Sweet sarsaparilla.

For the past year, I have been working as an assistant for a visiting researcher.

He has been cataloguing his findings about Gravity Falls in a series of journals.

I helped him build a machine which he believed had the potential to benefit all mankind, but something went wrong.

I decided to quit the project.

But I lie awake at night, haunted by the thoughts of what I've done.

I believe I have invented a machine that can permanently erase these memories from my mind. Test subject one.

Fiddleford.

It worked! I can't recall a thing.

I call it the Society of the Blind Eye.

We will help those who want to forget by erasing their bad memories.

Today, I came across a colony of little men.

Very disturbing.

I would like to forget seeing this.

I accidentally hit another car in town today.

I feel terri-bibble. Terrible.

I've been forgetting words lately.

I wonder if there are any negative side effects...

I saw something in the lake, something big!

My hair's been a-fallin' out, so I got this hat from a scarecrow.

Hey, are my pants on backwards?

Oh, McGucket. I'm so sorry.

Aw, hush.

You kids helped me get my memories back, just like you said.

But did you want those memories back?

After all these years, I finally know who I am.

Maybe I messed up in the past, but now that I seen what happened, I can begin to put myself together again.

Still don't know what that means.

So, wait, you weren't the author, but you worked with him.

Do you remember who he was?

It's beginning to come back, but I need more time.

And reading glasses. Heck!

I got some rememberin' to do.

So, Mabel, you still wanna erase those failed summer romances?

You know, no one likes having bad memories, but maybe it's better to remember the bad things and learn from them than to go all denial crazy trying to forget.

That's some mature junk right there, Mabel.

Yep. Miss mature. That's me.

Hey, you wanna help me vandalize this picture of my jerky ex-crush?

Ooh, yeah!

Wait, let's give him buck teeth.

Hey, you know what?

Going on this big adventure actually made me get that stupid song out of my head. Nice.

♪ Am I blanchin', girl, we blanchin' ♪ Oh, come on!

It's all so familiar.

It's almost like I can remember.

All right, you're getting closer.

Every day, it's getting stronger.

Ha! Yes! Ah!

I don't care if it's dangerous.

I don't care how long it takes.

I'm gonna pull this off, and no one's gonna get in my way.