01x15 & 01x16 - The Hound of the Baskervilles

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Sherlock Holmes". Aired: November 18, 2013 to November 2013.
Russian television crime drama series based on the Sherlock Holmes detective stories by Arthur Conan Doyle and aired in November 2013. Some of the stories have never been adapted before.
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01x15 & 01x16 - The Hound of the Baskervilles

Post by bunniefuu »

The diary of John Hamish Watson, doctor.

th of May.

Pay for the coal.

Pick up the order from the
pharmacy till Wednesday.

On Friday, Professor
Challenger will be presenting,

don't forget to book the seats,

he might be an interesting character.

Write a foreword to the commemorative
edition of the story book.

Something like: "How can an intelligent
person survive in this unfair world."

Think of the books' title.

My friend Sherlock Holmes.

Roger, beaten.

You think so?

I can't see anything,

- make the lamp brighter.
- No need,

it's fine like this. Count.

Well, that's it. Now I only
have to sh**t myself.

Well, you can do one thing for me

- and your debt will be forgotten.
- What?

You are known to serve in the
chancery of her Majesty, aren't you?

What are you what are
are you going mad?!

This is impossible!

And then he jumped on Moriarty and...

Good morning.

Good morning.
- And?

And both of them fell into
the raging waterfall.

How come you know all this?

But Miss Westburry, the whole
of London have been reading

the Sherlock Holmes stories
even three years before that.

Good morning.

Good morning.
- All of England!

Never heard of him. So, he was
writing about his feats himself?

Oh no, the author of the stories is his
friend and helper Dr. John Watson.

Good morning.

And I think, Mr. West, that
Sherlock Holmes never existed

and this your Watson
made it all up.

But Miss Westburry, it's
impossible to make up.

Such accuracy, such
observation, such...

I think, Mr. West, that...
- Sorry...

...in reality...
- Excuse me.

...the real detective
is Watson himself.

He's just too modest and was writing as
- Miss Westeburry, just one minute,

- Mr. West, where are you?

I'm coming. One minute.

Mr. Johnson!

Mr. Johnson!


Story eight. Baskerville hound.

Right at the most interesting part.

Do you know what dream I had?

Well, tell it.

Who would come so early?

Pearson of yours.

It's this of yours, what's his

McCoy. McCoy was here yesterday, remember?

Try not to.

After him everything stinks with cigars,

bring tea to him every time, whiskey.

Maybe they're gone?

You open up and I will dress up and...

Huh, and I don't need to dress up?

You only need just a
robe on and that's it.

- What is this barrack-room habits!
- Fine, alright. I'll wake up!

- I'll wake up, I will.
- Sit still.

Good morning, sir. Good morning, Mrs.

This is Baker Street , is it?

- B.
- is much further.

Oh, so I'm right.
You are Dr. Watson, right?

- I told you it's yours.
- Yes.

Is this Mr. Holmes' house?


...come in, come in.

You come in, do not be shy.

Sorry, we have it so simple,
so to say, homely,

it's just you are such
an early visitor. After you!

Please come in here.

So, in front of us is, in fact, the room

of Mr. Sherlock Holmes. It's his
famous suit, well, you know.

Mr. Sherlock Holmes was born
in in a landlord's family,

he got an excellent
education as a biochemist.

He opened up his
detective practice in .

So all the things here belonged
to Mr. Sherlock Holmes himself

and were quite treasured by him.

Here's, so to say, the books,
instruments, yes.

The violin, gloves.

Here are the pipes

and this is his bother Mycroft.
- Mr. Watson,

this is very interesting, but I...

...how to phrase it...

I have another business.

A private one.

Yes-yes, yes, I understood,
sorry. Come in to my room,

...come in.

My name is Violet Westburry.
- It's not necessary. So, um, what month?


Well, when you understood
that, so to say...

Oh, today about eight in the morning.

Well, fine.

So, you come behind the curtain
and change clothes.

The curtain? Why?

Well, but how else?

I'm.... sir, no, sir, you understood
me wrong. Mr. West told me about you.

- West... West...
- Do you know about Mr. West's death?

This is sad. Well, what
to do, the age... the age.

He was just .

We were walking down Downing Street

and there was a terrible fog.
Suddenly he went somewhere

as if he disappeared
and then I found him

on the fish bazaar.
He was swimming in the aquarium.

On the fish bazaar in the aquarium?
- Yes.

- He was d*ad, sir, you understand?

Dear, can you open up?
- Yes!

So... so you came to me as

to a detective? You know, the thing is,

it's Holmes who was, so to say,
the detective, and I'm doctor, I...

Let me in! I can't wait
anymore, let me in!

- Sorry.
- Watson!

- Can you wait for a minute?
- Watson!

- One minute.
- Watson!

- Inspector, you? - Dress up!

- Wait, what did I do?
- Let's go, doctor!

- Let me
- You? You didn't do anything,

But now the whole
England is suspected.

- Let me...
- Apart from the queen, of course.

I don't understand, what happened?
- Let me...

A man named Arthur
Cadogan West...

Yes, he drowned in the
aquarium, so what?

How do you know? We
didn't write about it yet.

So, Holmes did teach you
something after all.

The ministry insists me
to bring you to this case!

- Me? I... I have nothing to do with it!
- Exactly!

- These pumped gobblers
from Home Office went insane!

Soon they will be brining
opera singers to investigations!

- Martha!
- Holmes

Are we familiar?

- Mr. Minister!
- This... this is not Sherlock,

it's the brother.

So what, everyone is ready? Good.
Watson, you're going with us.


I told you, to the crime
scene, right, Mr. Minister?

- So alike
- Yes.


Inspector, so what were
you saying about ministers?

- Suspenders.
- Yes.

- Socks.
- Yes.

No, I'm not going anywhere,

...no, this is silly, I...
- No.

No-no-no, I'm not going
anywhere, I'm not a detective.

You will go, and you will be
searching, and you will find,

because we can't live
like this anymore.

Because our living is boring and gray,

because we're starting
to hate each other.

I couldn't stand Holmes

and now I don't like my life,

and you will fix it all.


Don't swear. Holmes was swearing,

and you're not Holmes yet.

Not Holmes yet.

Mr. Watson!

Thank you.

Excuse me, miss,

he didn't forget about you.
He was urgently called.

Yes, I heard it all. Do you
think he will find the m*rder?

He will. He absolutely will.


Hold up the legs!

Strange fad to swim in such weather.

So, here, head is here.

Mr. Higgis!

Lestrade, what's this?

I think these are the documents, sir.

Let me...

Excuse me, sir, with all due respect,
you've taken the evidence.

Sir, I say, these papers
are the evidence.

I didn't take anything
from you, understood?


- Higgis!
- Yes, sir!

You didn't find anything.

Yes, sir, right.

The head is crushed in two places,

the second one was
evidently after the death.

Someone really hated him.
Maybe a mistress?

Then she must be way taller than
me and have remarkable strength,

because the blow
was made from above

and with great strength,
but the mistress is small and thin.

You are better than Holmes.

How do you know about the mistress?

She came to me this morning.

Damn, I absolutely refuse
to work in such situation!

Evidence is taken away,
witnesses are hiding!

Lestrade, work with the locals.

Ask them, maybe somebody saw something.

- Fish, can I load the fish?
- I can't teach you!

- Work with the locals!
- Fish, fish, it will rot, the fish!

I'll show you now the fish!
Take him away!

- Watson, come here for a minute.
- Yes, of course.

Excuse me, but Mycroft, maybe you
can explain me what it all means?

Arthur Cadogan West worked
in the chancery of Her Majesty.

The disappeared papers come from there.

Sadly, not all of them.

Obviously the guy tried
to sell them separately.

Can you tell...

If I tell you, you have to be k*lled.

So, the rest of the papers have
to be given back before th.

But who would even need them?

The most evil foe of England.
You have three days.

Inspector, excuse me...

- I didn't expect myself.
- Fine, doesn't matter,

...nobody had seen anything.

Familiar smell. Can you tell...

I won't smell corpse's pants.

Creosote. Oh, sorry,
I remember now. Creosote!

- The guy was working with the rails?
- A clerk. He was a clerk.

- Good sir!
- Come here!

Can you... - Come here!

Coming, coming...

Can you tell us what way is used
for transporting fish here?

Here, it's creosote, creosote.
Well, from there he...

Unlikely. If this guy jumped
from a train into a fish cart,

the whole street would see him.

And the fog? This morning
the fog was very thick,

they could've missed him.

Then maybe yes.

Then maybe no.
- But why?

Because the guy's head was crushed twice

and the second time was
after his death and much later.

Yes, twice and later.

Could you tell, uh, blood?
Was any blood washed away?

What blood? There was no blood here.

I'm scared of blood.

I was even supposed
to become a corpsman,

more money, warm and alcohol,
but I still refused because...


d*ad end.

No, there's no d*ad end,
there's a sharp turn.

You can't build a d*ad end
right after the turn,

otherwise the driver
would gape and...

- I said quiet!
- Like a fly.

How come... how come...how
come... but how come...twice

The turn.

The turn, yes. So, he jumped,
so to say, at the turn

Or fell out.

We had it once. One drunken
climbed up to a train's roof and...

Well, alright, let's say he fell
out, but what's the difference?

It doesn't work. The d*ad end!

I think we're doing some nonsense.

Everything is too complicated.

Well, yes, so to say, Sherlock is missing.

I will still say it,

even though this gentleman
forced me to be quiet,

you can jump on a train's roof.

- How to jump... how to jump on the roof?
- Let's go, I'll show you, it's not far!

Well, the picture is clear.

West sells, I can say it, right?
- Sells, so to say, documents.

In the last second he feels ashamed
and he jumps out of the window,

and you know the rest.

Miss Westburry lost
Arthur at Downing Street

and it's a stone throw away from here.

You're free,

the case is closed.

Oooh, if only it would be like that.
Finding the documents, giving them back?

Well, it's nothing. We will
search through the whole house.

And what if he didn't
sell them in this house?

- The whole square will be searched.
- And how long would it take?

Well, about two weeks,
if it's done quickly.

Two weeks.

What'd you want to say, sir?

But it's impossible to return
the documents before th, it's...

Not a day later.

It's impossible!

And what will happen at th?

Didn't help?

Just think what Holmes
would've started with.

But how do I know what
he would've started with?

He was always walking around, searching,

asking, and then bam! - and it's ready.

Well, you start with this.

With what?

With asking. You didn't
even listen to Miss Violet.

What was Holmes saying?
The devil is in the details.

Yep, he loved swearing.

Crazy theories of British scientists!

Professor Challenger claims
that human came from a monkey!

- Crazy theories of British scientists!
- Great view!

Professor Challenger claims that
the human came from a monkey!

Yes, you always
know the exact time.

He is the chancery's boss after all.

Introduce us to Mr. Johnson.
Mycroft Holmes and John Watson.

Welcome, gentlemen,
Mr. Johnson is awaiting you.

Welcome, gentlemen, welcome.

This is just incredible, two
celebrities like this in one visit.

Oh, don't, you're exaggerating.

Don't be shy, doctor, I've read all
of your stories. Come in, take a seat.

Cigars, whiskey, cognac?
- Oh no-no-no.

I wouldn't mind a
glass of scotch.

A beautiful view from the window.

It would be my pleasure
to exchange this view

to a small house somewhere in
Yorkshire, but the duty obliges me.

I have to live up to the royal time.

- Oh, are you talking about Big Ben?
- Ah?

- Big Ben?
- Yes-yes.

When the queen has her
own astronomical watch,

sometimes I think she will actually
check them with Big Ben once.

Well, you know better.

- The sleeve.
- Thank you,

there are repairs going on.

So, eh... so, I'm listening
to you, gentlemen,

but I can guess that...

...the business is about Arthur West?
- Yes,

...you were his boss.

I was.

Please forgive me.

Well, you too understand me.
I mean, Shelock Holmes.

- Yep.
- Yep.

My god, what a nice young man he was.

Hard-working, honest, punctual.

I know you can't surprise a British
with this feature, but Arthur was just...

...and such a ridiculous death.

So, the documents have
disappeared from the chancery.

Ah? Well, yes,

and very important ones.

What documents they were?

If I tell you, you have to be k*lled.

I'm joking of course,
but it's a strict state secret.

I don't understand how
he would go to such things.

I don't believe it.
Chop my head off, but I don't.

Well haven't' you noticed something
strange in his actions for the last time?

No, no.

His friends? Acquaintances?

Ooh, what friends?

His friends were a whole puncher
and clips, a pen and ink.

He admired his job.

Yep, although...

Excuse me.

There was something...

...the day before. He almost
forgot to sign in the register.

The register?

Yes, in the very one there
the document work is noted.

I was just shocked.

I was talking about his punctuality,
and then...

The day before? Everything is clear.

Nothing is clear!

He couldn't do it.
Arthur was the angel of the office!

He was a hell of a scum.

He was reporting on his
coworkers to the authority.

Nobody was friends with him,

but how can you be friends with
a person who is standing on all fours?

All fours?

So it's easier to lick the authority's ass.

Can you tell me if he really could
steal and sell the documents?

He was ready to sell his own mother.

He went on a Christmas party and made
us to solve charades, charades, scum!

So greedy as Gobseck,
couldn't ask for a damn clip off him,

he was counting all of them.

And generally, a dog gets a dog's death.

Well, I guess we should go.

Gentlemen, maybe drink a little?

Oh no-no-no, thank you.

It's excellent.

But I will.

That Kerslake, what
swill did he slip into me?

Arrived. Why did you drink so much?

You're completely drunk.

Oh no, I'm generally sober.

Let me invite you to some coffee.

No need, I'll go by myself.

No excuses. Please.

Please, please, I won't accept a refusal.

I'm really pleading you.

Careful, careful, careful. Go!

- Damn, damn!
- Martha, coffee!

With sugar?

That's fine, that's fine.

- Mrs. Hudson.
- We have a guest!

I'm really ashamed.

We need very strong coffee.


Sit down. Fine. Thank you, Martha.

Thank you, Mrs. Hudson.


I'm really ashamed.


Damn tasty coffee,
Mrs. Hudson, thank you.

Well...So is it better now?

Alright, now let's stand up.

- You think it's time?
- That's fine, that's fine. Yes-yes-yes.

It's time, it's time, it's time.

I just want to see how are
you standing on your feet.

- Well, well.
- Oh well.

I'll help.

- Time is time.
- That's right, fine.


Let me introduce you
one more time, Martha.

Mr. Holmes. Sherlock Holmes!

- But why do you think so?
- Why do I think so? Why do I think

that Mycroft is swearing like that?
Mycroft is drinking like that?

Who's drinking and
swearing like this, Martha?

Sherlock Holmes!

And your moustache came off.

Yes, it indeed came off.

I recognised you from the start.

A lady's heart.

Martha, I'm pleading you, I'm
pleading you, do not faint, not now.

- But I asked you.
- Why so cruel?

I just hate you.

What is it so hateful...

- ...about me?

I hate your arrogance,
haughtiness of yours,

your constant filthy antics posed as
paradoxicality of thinking, as you say!

And this horrendous cruelty of yours,
almost childish, stinky liberalism,

and I'm not even talking about
the treatment of a woman,

this I can just put
behind the brackets.

And after all this he is still managing
to be always right, always right, always.

I didn't break your neck
the first day only because

only because you are
right, understand?

That's why I was always hanging on you.

You were hanging on me only
because I allowed you to do so.

Oh really? Give the water back.

- Of course. I allowed...
- Give the water back I said.

...because I saw the honest curiosity in
life in you, the desire to help people!

Three years, Sherlock. Three years,
Sherlock, you were using me

for three... fine with me,
but Martha. Why Martha, huh?

This is disgusting, disgusting,
understand? Fine-fine.

Sorry for staying alive!

Do not hit by palm. Stupid moustache!

I did show you how.

I'm so fed up of it.

This your soulful scene where I act
like a whipping boy for some reason!

Get out of my house!

Oh! A hero!

- What?
- "Your house"!

It's the same yours as mine!

But I will leave, I will,

- ...but give me some water!
- Don't touch!

You know why I got drunk, Mrs. Hudson?

Because I'm weaned.
- What weaned?

- Your martenitism...
- What are you saying?

And with a lady's
sentimentality above all.


- ...with a lady's exactly,
not with love for people.

- Sorry.
- Get out!

I'm weaned of your stupid short
sight and your insipidity!

- Get out! No, it's impossible.
- Both be quiet!

Is this all you can say to each other
after three years of separation?

What separation? We buried him!

We made a somewhat
sanctum off him,

we prayed to him and he
was just hiding, just...

...it's just vile.

Moriarty is alive.


That's it.

Your time is up.

Remember I told you not wait
for thunder and lightning?

I was joking.


I lived is Switzerland for a year,

was grazing sheep.

- Such a headache.
- Now.

But I learned how to distinguish
between kinds of wool.

Thank you Mrs. Hudson.
Well, I'm going to my room.

- Of course.
- Holmes, Holmes, eeh...

- ehh... maybe...
- By the way, you know,

wool can be fabric,
knitwear, can be a felt.

A felt is also produced
by different ways,

for example extrusion through
filiere like spunbond.

Staple got by a calendering
thermal bonding

and hydro-entanglement spunlace.
This is a thread of tweed

from the late Arthur West's jacket.


It means that the guy...
Sorry, I'm going to my room.

Of course, of course, Mr.

It's not cleaned there,
Holmes, maybe eh...

I forgot about the museum.

What's this?

How quickly history can be mistold.

And what, are there visitors?

- Weeell, now there are less, of course.
- Were there many?

They were interested.

In the name of the
queen, open up!

Les... Lestrade!
- Lestrade!

Give me the cylinder!

- Open up! The police!
- Open.

- Good day, inspector.
- Oh, inspector.

Eeeh, sadly, I don't have any news yet.
- But I have.

Johnson is k*lled,

and you with Mr. Mycroft Holmes
were the last ones to see him alive.

Mrs. Hudson, close the door
and don't open to anybody.

Inspector, let's go!

Nobody heard the sh*t.

Nobody from strangers went to the
house, except for you, of course,

but the guard said that he saw
Johnson alive even after you.

Well, you know, somebody
was sh**ting from the balcony.

Are you seeing any balcony here?

- Let's go!
- Well, I was figuratively...

- Is everything alright?
- Yes, sir!

Five to five Mr. Johnson rang in the bell

and asked for newspapers
with the horse racing results.

I always bring tea and close
the windows in the office at five,

it's a tradition, Mr. Johnson
is very punctual

and when Big Ben sounded
I brought tea to Mr. Johnson,

and then I walked in to the office
he was already d*ad.

Maybe he sh*t himself.

- Where's the w*apon then?
- Oh no, he didn't.

There is no burning smell
and g*n, and generally

he didn't take a w*apon into his
hand for about two or three days.

Maybe it came out the window?

Well, I saw accurate sh**t,
I myself sh**t quite good,

but here it's about yards to
the nearest decent sh**ting place.

But the most important,
gentlemen, is not how

he was k*lled, but why.

This is actually the easiest.

Charles Johnson was k*lled
because it was exactly him

who stole and sold
the documents.

And now, gentlemen,
excuse us, I need to go.

Watson, you're with me.


You didn't want to listen to me about
woolen cloth I wanted to tell you

that the thread on the windowsill
was from Arthur West's jacket.

Poor guy was thrown out
while he was already d*ad.

And how did you conclude
all this from one thread?

If a person would want
to commit su1c1de

he couldn't climb to the windowsill,
he would stand on it and...

Here it's clear that his lifeless
body was dragged there.

Why lifeless?

You as a doctor had to notice
that there was little blood.

Fine then, why do you think that it was
exactly Johnson stealing the documents?

It's just the outcome.

Quick! Can we go quicker?

Three people had access to the documents:
West, Kerslake and Johnson.

Then it might be Kerslake

- Why?
- Well...

He has enough for drinks,
he drinks hooch.

But Johnson has passion, passion for
nice things, for cigars, whiskey.

He didn't buy it yesterday.

And his main passion is cards.

Have you noticed any signs
of repair in his house?

There was no repair, the stain
on his sleeve is the stain

from the playing table where
bets are written in chalk.

This man played, is playing, and
will be playing. He loses thousands.

How clever he was to make up this
story about Arthur's disorganization,

like he forgot to
sign in the register.

Mr. Johnson!

Mr. Johnson, what are you doing?

- Hide
- Who are these people?

Arthur, how did you how.
- Who are these people?

No, these are our people, it's not
what you think, it's just I'll explain.

- I'll explain!

Nobody should see them,
gentlemen, you understand?

Nobody. It's forbidden
to read them.

And if somebody does,

then what?

Then he has to be k*lled.

- What are...
- He proposed it himself.

What you... you... what have
you done?! You've k*lled him!

And if you're going to
yell, you will follow him.

No-no-no I paid you off, here
are the documents, that's it.

- And the plan?
- And the plan's here. Here it is.

I'm leaving, and I've never been here.

Stop, I won't be dragging
the body by myself.

And I can't, I'm scared.

What are you doing?
This is silly, he would never do it.

But you could.

- No, I don't wantů oh, but I
- Take him

My god.

Everything is so simple.

So the m*rder happened
in the house over rails?

Pretty much yes.

- Then we're going the wrong way
- No, we're going the right way.


Maybe now can you tell me to
whom are we rushing so bad?

- You to whom?
- To Irene Adler.

- She's not home.
- Oh god.

When she'll come back?

- I think not soon
- Do you know where she went?

A few minutes ago she went to that square.

Good night.

Sherlock, I understand everything.
Love fever.

- Three years, yes, but why...
- We need to hurry, John.


- I knew, I found you.
- Sherlock, you're in time.

You're in time, dear. I know.

I found you.
- I knew you will be in time.

- I was so afraid he would deceive me.
- Who?

I was looking for you for so long.
I was...

- What is it?


Irene? Watson!

Watson, what's with her?
There's blood.

I'm so happy you came.
I'm happy.

Careful. I don't understand
where's the wound.

- What happened?
- Hold under the shoulders.

- My dear.
- What happened?

Irene, look at me. What happened?

Can you see me?

Close your eyes.
- Take your hand off.

This photograph.
It's because of the photograph.

What photograph?
- Because of the photograph.

What photograph? Look at me.

Watson, what?

Look at me! Look.

- Can you see me?

What photograph? Watson, what?

Why are just standing here,
why standing, Watson?

She needs to be taken to the
hospital, go away, go away.

Holmes. Holmes, I...

Wait for a bit, it's really near, really.
About - steps from here.

- Look at me.
- Holmes!

Let me count the steps out loud.
Look at me!

, , , .

- .

Look at me! Look at me!
. Look at me!

- Holmes!
- .

... , , , .

I was late.


I'm pleading you, never write about her.

Do you hear me?



God knows what I've thought now.

It's not your instrument,
better the violin. My god.

Thank you.

And actually don't borrow it
without the permission to.

Mrs. Hudson, make some tea for us.

- Maybe.
- Tea.

Three years,

I was following him three years.

And only a month ago I found his trail.

He's back.

And he knows that I'm back.

Whom are you about?

yards, John. yards.

This pipe disappeared about a year ago.

I thought somebody
from the visitors stole it.

Well, why stole?

It's written "Sherlock
Holmes' pipes" there.

- Plus you quit two years ago.
- Two and a half.



Well, there's the ruler
in Holmes' room now?

yards from Johnson's house.



I didn't hear the g*n sh**ting.

Meaning it's not excluded that...

What do you think, John,
is there a w*apon existing

that fires from such distance?

Mr. Holmes, if you are renewing
the renting of the room,

I would like to discuss
some details with you.

Let's go.

That drunken Kerslake was so right.

I hate charades so much.

- Show it!
- Don't k*ll me! What... one second, sorry

What a paradox, John.
People who are making w*apon

are afraid of death
more than others.

But Mr. Holmes, I'm
pleading you, don't k*ll me.

I didn't know it
was against you!

Have you ever thought against whom?

John, keep at g*n. If something
happens, sh**t him right in the forehead!

I'll show, I'll immediately
show you everything.

It's here.

Here, please.

It's... his order?

John, look, what can you say?

- Have you seen something like this?
- Is it a telescope?

No, no, it's a rangefinder.
- Rangefinder.

Shortly, it's almost a
telescope, but another one.

- What's the sighting range?
- yards.

- What?
- exactly.

Huh, John, right from the Big Ben.

This thing. What is this?

That's this too big for a trigger.

I don't know why the client needs this,
but the sh*t goes off by the clock.

Now this is interesting.
This is interesting.

yards of sighting range.
What's the b*llet's distance range?

Mr. Holmes, please, I'm just a very good
master that tries to do the job well that

what... what are you doing?


After this the b*llet
loses its lethal force.

All's clear.

Let's go, John.

Clear? What's clear?

Before her death Irene was
saying that it all happened

because of the photograph. The sailor
Tom Taylor was saying the same.

- It's all because of the photograph.
- What photograph? What photograph?

Did you save my archive? Where is it?

- Ah, ah, yes, it...
- Mr. Holmes!

You are sure a big sh*t,
but look, you're disturbing us.

- Good day.
- And you, Watson.

Do you want to go the slammer?

What happened, inspector?

It's me who wanted to ask you.

How did you appear there
earlier than the firemen and I?

Mr. Holmes, Mr. Holmes!

You ordered me to deliver
this letter personally

to Mr. Lestrade at Scotland Yard,
but if he's already here, then...

Yes, sure.


Mr. Holmes, it says
that tomorrow at am

I should bring the best people
and await further instructions.

What does it mean?

Mr. Holmes, you're urgently awaited
in the ministry, urgently, Mr. Holmes.

It means, Lestrade,
that tomorrow at am

you call your best people
and await further instructions.

Let's go, Watson.
- Mr. Holmes

Oh yes, this was also
found in the aquarium.

Does it mean something?

Mr. Holmes!


Where will the exchange be held?

The criminals demand that
we go on a train to Dublin.

At o'clock.

- Also they're demanding million pounds.
- For the papers?

It's sad, but I think
you have to pay.

We won't pay. The treasury
doesn't have the money.

- Funny. All of it is painfully funny.
- What's funny about that?

All this speech that
everyone knows by heart,

it's a tradition every
year to name hostages

as if somebody really wants to k*ll
the queen, and still everybody knows

that exactly at midday she walks
out of the parliament building,

everyone starts greeting
her, waving, applauding.

Treat it, Sherlock, as the duty
of eating porridge every morning.

I don't need such a tradition,
I don't eat porridge.

Porridge. Tradition.

Tradition, tradition, gentlemen,

is at least unshakable in your country.

Believe me, soon after
losing their traditions,

many countries will try to rebuild
them again with pain and blood,

but at least we have it.
We have the foundation

on which we can have life.

These treasures hold the government,
and life, and the world in general.

Mycroft, we're all reliable here.
Tell me,

how many times have you pledged
and repledged our tradition?

You had to be destroyed as a
cynical foe of the government.

You know, doctor, which documents
disappeared from the chancery?

These are mortgages,
aren't they, Mycroft?

The thing that the treasury
never has is money,

and a new tradition appears
to pledge the crown.

I think it was pledged
no less than three times.

- Five.
- Five! Five!

It can't be.

Moneylenders are decently loyal people,
and have pretty good interests.

Very big interests.

And now all of these priceless,
truly, let's be honest,

shameful papers disappeared. That's
what your traditions cost, Watson.


If you babble this out even in a dream,

you'd have to be k*lled.

But you won't give away the crown.

What other papers
have disappeared?

- Not very serious ones.
- Which ones?

The plan of the square in front of the
Buckingham palace during the celebration.

The plan? Why, you can
buy it from any corner.

This is a very detailed
and accurate plan.

The queen will be k*lled
tomorrow from the Big Ben.

Don't talk nonsense, it's impossible.

There are more than yards
from Big Ben to Buckingham palace,

there's no w*apon
that fires that far.

But if there is, then there's a tree.

There's an oak growing that blocks the
view to the Big Ben from that balcony.

We've checked.

So, tomorrow at am at Scotland Yard,
please don't be late.

Lend me your watch, Mycroft.

I'll give it back tomorrow.

Why do you need my watch?


For three years it has
been clean and tidy,

but now you're back, Mr. Holmes,
and everything will be the same again.

Look under the bed.

Found it.

What did we find?

The curious reader can't wait
to see what happens next?


He waits for Sherlock Holmes to
come, to stretch in his chair,

sort everything out and elegantly
pull a rabbit out of a hat.


And could the reader
think of everything himself?

He saw everything I saw

and he knows everything I know.

What was the admiral,
admiral Wilson studying?

Admiral... what? What?

Read it.

- Ballistics.
- Yes, he was studying ballistics.

All your calculations were based
on having all the information:

Height, speed, distance, etc.

Read, read the book.

- All of it?
- I did.

- It's a year and I...
- Read the title.

"Increasing sighting range with the
help of mathematical calculations...

...or how to reach
the target out of sight."


Tomorrow at with the first toll
the queen will walk on the balcony,

at the best policemen will
take a train and go to Glasgow.


The place where the
exchange will be held.

- That's right, yards
- , that's right

So what, now let's see who will be
smarter: The reader, Sherlock Holmes...


Damn, so... so uncomfortable.

We meet at Lestrade's tomorrow
at Scotland Yard at am.

- Yes.
- Please do not be late.

- Take a g*n with you.
- Of course.

At night lock the door
and don't let anyone in.

- No one.
- No matter who it is.


Even if it's...


Exactly at midday she walks
out the parliamentary building.

The sh*t goes off by the clock.

There are more than yards
from Big Ben to Buckingham palace,

there's no w*apon
that fires that far


There's an oak growing that blocks the
view to the Big Ben from that balcony.

Read the title.

"Increasing the sighting range with the
help of mathematical calculations or...

...or how to reach
the target out of sight"

Check the watch, gentlemen.

I'll give the word to minister
sir Mycroft Holmes.

Good morning, sir!

So, gentlemen, you were
chosen from the policemen

as the most responsible
and skillful ones.

I serve Her Majesty, sir!

Please do not interrupt me
until the end of my message.

You have a secret and
quiet responsible task.

A sort of criminal decided to blackmail
the government and the queen of Britain.

Your task is to dress in civilian clothes

and to listen very carefully carefully
to all of inspector Lestrade's orders.

In your turn, inspector,
you have to follow my orders.

The operation will be held in a train.

- minutes for preparation.
- Thank you, sir.

So, go dress as civilians,

if I can see a bobby in anyone

I will f*re you without a pension.
Look at my mouth.

- Take all my orders. Clear?
- Yes, sir!



I was... sorry... doing calculations
of our common friend.

- Doctor, dear, I will surely listen
to you, but after everything is over.

- I understand, I just...

I need one of your most reliable people.

- Higgis.
- Yes, sir!

- Hold it, Higgis.
- Mr. Holmes!

- Keep an eye on it.
- Mr. Holmes, answer the telephone.

Wait for me here, wait here!

So, where's the carriage?

Where's Higgis?

And Watson?

With all my respect, sir,
this is a shame for police

to have a deal with a criminal.

We're saving the Empire's honour.

Let it calm you down.

- Go along the wagons.
- Yes.

Smith, Byron, Owen, Cosing, come to me!


It's a secret operation.

Everything's alright, sir,
the train departed on time.

Wonderful, Mortimer, we can go.

So what, doctor? Let me
look at your calculations.

Aren't we going all together,
Mr. Holmes?

These are not exactly mine,
they're of our common friend.

Mr. Higgis, we're going
to another side

and your task is to keep
an eye on the baggage.

So what, doctor,

it can be interesting, so to say,
for your readers.

Looks interesting and plausible.

Print the story, Holmes would be pleased.

Sir, there's traffic on the bridge.
What do we do?

Gentlemen, now we're going on foot.

Mortimer, you know the rest.

Mr. Holmes, where are we going?

Mr. Watson just had a great idea. It's
not far, about minutes brisk walk.

Mr. Watson, go behind Higgis,
he carries a valuable cargo.

A headdress of Her
Majesty after all.

Buckingham palace.

Now we will test, John,
how attentive your readers are.

Higgis, have you read Mr. Watson's stories?

No, sir, I didn't.

Can you imagine, one of the Mr. Watson's
fans sent an interesting plot

about a m*rder of Her Majesty
right at her birthday.

The m*rder would hide on Big Ben and
exactly at he'd sh**t the queen.

What do you think, Mr. Higgis?

The r*fle is much higher, Mr. Holmes.
You don't have time. Three minutes left.

Stop it.

Listen to Professor Challenger.

He claims that humanity came from the
monkeys. What do you think, Mr. Holmes?

I'm sure the humanity seeks to submit to
the horrible idea of becoming monkeys.

It's easy that way.

Simple actions, primitive thoughts,
primitive feelings, animal desires.

A human wants to look like a monkey.

- With the first bell?
- Yes, Mr. Holmes.

You can't stop the sh*t.
Only the clock can be stopped.

How much time is left?

Two minutes.

I checked it one hour ago while installing.

It's not even a r*fle, Mr. Holmes,

this is my best invention

and she didn't like it.

After a minute and a half she will die
and nothing can be changed, Mr. Holmes.

I'm a mathematician, Mr. Holmes,
the future is up to the ones like me,

the people in glasses.

And you only can sh**t me,

but you're too honest, Mr. Holmes,
you can't calmly k*ll a person.

By the way, it's me
who gave her this g*n.

Right now I wouldn't bet a
half a penny for the queen's life!

Imagine what cries are there now!

"The queen is k*lled!
The queen is k*lled!"

Their cry, Holmes, are my applause.

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday Victoria!
Happy birthday to you!

But I did bet a half a penny
for the queen's life.

And this is my applause.

You're right, the future
is up to foureyes!

Professor, let's go.



Not at all.

You did it? Saved the queen?

Sounds so romantic.

She wasn't in any danger.


You know how much can
a halfpenny coin mean?

If placed on the pendulum,

it speeds up its pace by
exactly one second every hour.

That way it corrects the time.

You know what is the standard
for the whole England,

and according to which clock
every Englishman sets his time?

Big Ben.

Her Majesty's clock.

Let's go, I'll tell you
the story in detail, let's go.

Mr. Holmes, what does it mean, explain.

Somebody was sh**ting
in the Big Ben building,

then suddenly this
person fell off there.

From where?


Who is he?

Can you tell?

- I don't know him.
- Why did you shave?

A half an hour ago you had
a beard and moustache. Tracey

- Gentlemen.
- Who's this?

- Sherlock.
- Sherlock?

Good day, Mycroft.

But he's d*ad.

Well, it's a bit exaggerated.

- Sherlock, I'll k*ll you!
- Mr. Lestrade! Sir, sir.

Everyone, scatter!

Where's Higgis?

So, we're almost been fooled,
to be exact, we were.

Can you imagine,
we took the ride for nothing.

I'm asking where's Higgis...
- Higgis died...

...on duty.

Let's go, John, we have
another business to do.

- Miss Violet Westburry.
- Good day.

Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

But you died in the waterfall.
Fell into the abyss.

No, I'm not d*ad, I'm alive.
Want to touch me?

No-no, I believe you.

Dear Miss Westburry,

Arthur Cadogan West died,

died as a hero.

You should be proud of him.

Yes-yes I'm proud.

His m*rder was found

and got what he deserved.
- Don't, please don't.

It was found in Arthur's pocket.
Obviously he wanted to give it to you.

Let's go home?

Mr. Watson, Mr. Holmes,

you're late for lunch. I've heated
the kidney pie two times already.

If you are going to be this punctual
next time, you will be eating cold food.

Mr. Holmes!

Mr. Holmes,

I imagined you exactly like that.

Everyone to the wall!

I miss small flats.

You can't imagine how
oppressive big halls are.

Mr. Holmes, today at my birthday,

I decided to make myself a small
gift to personally acknowledge

the person whose adventures I
have read for the past years.

Bravo, Dr. Watson, bravo.

My brother Mycroft said that according
to the schedule you should be.


Mycroft Holmes.

He serves you.

A hundred years will pass and everyone
will be forgotten, but not him.

And of course you.

I can't remember him.

Mr. Holmes, I know you like to dig
in everything till the very core.

I think it will be interesting
for you. Take a look.

It explains a lot.

I've been thinking hard how to thank the
person who was so invaluable to Britain.

Reward you?

Well, Lestrade will get it,
he needs it more.

To knight you?

I thought so. My courtiers need titles.

I don't want to offend you with money.

You know what, Mr. Holmes?

I want to give you...

...my favorite dog.

Love her.

What's her name?

She was named after my
court huntsman Baskerville.

Good bye, Mr. Holmes,
Mr. Watson, Mrs. Hudson.

Your Majesty, people say
it's a bad omen to gift pets.

You have to give at least a coin back.

Back up! Everyone go away!

What was in the folder?
File on Moriarty?

I can't tell you.

It's a royal secret.

Let it be the secret for the readers.

Damn, I better give Baskerville
to you and Mrs. Hudson.

Listen, why do we need
her, I don't like dogs.

But now when you are going to
walk together across Baker Street

nobody would say that there comes
the Hudson widow and her doctor.

I'm a writer.

You know, Holmes, I think
I'll call my first story book

"My friend Sherlock Holmes.".

Name it whatever you wish.

Especially when these stories
are all lies anyway.

My friend Sherlock Holmes.

Thank you for staying
with us till the end.

The reason why we were doing it and why
we are still doing it was because of you.
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