01x03 - #YesMeansYes

[bunniefuu]

- [ball bouncing]
- [sneakers squeaking]

[upbeat music playing]

[boy 1] Over here!

- [girl] Yeah!
- [boy 2] All right!

Gotta hand it to you, Tris.
Mandatory intramurals are a slam dunk.

- Everyone seems to love 'em! [chuckles]
- Come on, guys!

Only 30 more seconds.

We might get through this
whole game without playing once.

Your no-eye-contact plan is genius.

Safety totally maximized.

[girl] Hey!

[grunts]

- [all gasp]
- [whistle blows]

Nerd down. Someone help him off.

- [girl] Are you okay?
- [students chuckling]

[sighs] Is it broken? Do I need surgery?

- Hunter, you're in.
- I'm... I'm helping Vijay off.

Quit stalling.

[upbeat music playing]

[whistle blows]

Over here!

[Zoë] Over here!

- Yes!
- [chuckling]

You are such a noob.

- I scored, numbnuts.
- On your own net.

[all chuckling]

♪ Whatever it takes I know
I can make it through ♪

♪ And if I hold out I know
I can make it through ♪

♪ Be the best, be the best
The best that I can be ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it I
know I can make it through ♪

[Maya gasps]

Ah! Okay...

[chuckling] you need to
take lessons from Hunter.

- Oh!
- No, you just...

I just need to sh**t
from closer, like this.

- [giggling] Ooh!
- Hey!

- Mind if I steal your girlfriend?
- Actually, we were in the middle...

- What's up?
- I wrote a bridge to that new song

we were working on last night.

The fingering is gonna blow your mind.

I have to listen to this.

I'll see you later, okay?

[scoffs]

[Tiny] She might make music with him...

but she makes sweet music with you.

- I mean sex.
- Yeah, thanks.

But we're not.

- But you have.
- Yeah, once.

I don't know. I keep trying
to talk to her about it, but...

- Talking is for boys.
- [sighs]

Doing is for boyfriends.

Now, see, is that really necessary?

You know how female harp seals
pick a new mate every year?

Why would I know that?

Before they choose, they have relations
with several potential suitors.

[pop music playing from earbuds]

Are you saying that
Maya's sleeping with Jonah?

[chuckles] Not yet.

- But she might...
- You gotta man up.

All right, guys, today we begin one
of Shakespeare's great tragedies...

Hamlet.

Your mom's seriously forgiving
your dad for cheating on her?

Yeah, and for treating me like trash.

What do the twins say?

Hunter's happy, and
Frankie's a 15-year-old girl.

- Well, maybe they think he's changed.
- People don't change.

I missed what Mr. M said
about iambic pentameter.

Complicated way of saying simple things.

- The end.
- [cell phone vibrates]

And now my dad's coming over for dinner.

At least he's not moving in.

Yet. One dinner leads to another.

Could you please keep quiet?

[sighs]

The six months he's been gone
have been the best of my life.

Look, just tell your mom
that you're not ready.

Do you mind holding these?

[Mr. Mitchell] Now, Shakespeare
places emphasis on certain...

Yes, Esme?

- Miles cut my hair!
- Oh, no, I didn't.

Then what are you doing
with those scissors?

Charming, Miles. Detention it is.

[girls laughing]

I am so hungry.

Why do we have to starve because
Miles is chronically late?

Is it too much to ask for family
dinner with the whole family?

Uh, while we're waiting, do you
think you guys could sign this?

It's so I can get out
of intramural death camp.

He means intramural sports.

Uh, you can't run away
from your problems, Hunter.

They GIFed me.

- What?
- It's getting reposted like crazy.

_

[Mr. Hollingsworth laughs]

This is... this is what
you're all worked up about?

Let me see. Oh, you look
so handsome. [laughing]

I refuse to be embarrassed again.

Then get your sister to teach
you her k*ller free throw.

More basketball is literally the
opposite of what I want right now.

Why would I do something
that makes me feel like crap?

You really missed the point of intramurals.

No, I get it.

It's supposed to make
us better at teamwork,

but I already get that
through playing video games.

Okay, well, until there's
intramural video gaming,

you're gonna have to figure something out.

[exhales]

[exhales]

This is your plan? A shopping spree?

Patience, grasshopper.

No soldier enters battle

- without armor.
- Whoa!

Dude! We're in a restaurant, man!

You could've just told me you had condoms.

- All right, all right.
- Why did you get so many?

Pick one.

[sighs] Okay, um...

You know they slide off if
they're too loose, right?

[scoffs] Good thing I kept the receipt.

Oh, I also got you a bunch of lube.

Okay, why? Why?

We're in a restaurant. People can hear us.

- What? Seemed like the right thing to do.
- Hey, uh... Hey, um...

we're gonna order some fries.

Fries, yeah.

Okay, what about the part

where Maya doesn't even
wanna have sex with me?

Girls wanna be swept off their feet.

- You gotta be more assertive.
- Okay, and what if I do all that,

and she would still
rather do it with Jonah?

Last lesson. Confidence.

'Cause Maya's gonna be nervous,
so you have to say this,

"Baby, I'm the captain of this love cruise.

Hop on board."

What?

- You want this to happen, right?
- Yes.

Then just remember...

she's dating you.

- [sighs]
- That's gotta be worth something.

You know what? You're right.

Yeah, I'm not so bad.

You know what?

Here goes.

Wish me luck.

[Mrs. Hollingsworth] You know,
I think everyone was happy.

You made them happy.

[Mr. Hollingsworth] Thank
you. Dinner was perfect.

Almost perfect.

Thank you for gracing
us with your presence.

Yeah, you missed one heck
of a pot roast. [sighs]

Well, I'll be sure to have my
own roast in your honor later.

I know. I know I've let
you down... [inhales]

but I wanna earn back your trust.

I do.

- [whispers] I, uh, I'm gonna run, okay?
- Okay. Good night.

He wants us to be a happy family again.

Mom... when were we ever a happy family?

Was it when he cheated on you,

or when he used me as his punching bag?

- You always bring up the past.
- That was six months ago.

He's going to therapy.

[stammers] He's taking
anger management classes.

Your brother and sister
gave him a second chance.

- Why can't you?
- Because...

[shuddering] whenever he...

he's around me, Mom... Look, I feel...

- [stuttering] I feel like I can't breathe.
- Okay, okay.

- Just don't let him back, okay?
- I'm not.

- At least, not yet.
- No, not ever. Don't let him back.

I'm planning another family dinner...

and I would love it if you would be there,

so you could see how much he's changed.

Do I have a choice?

Not if you care about our family.

[chuckles]

Shouldn't you be studying
equations instead of my face?

Um, actually, I was,
uh, studying your lips.

- Your beautiful, beautiful lips.
- What do you want?

To take a break.

- With you.
- I wish, but...

[sighs] I spent so much time
working that song with Jonah.

Oh, come on.

Wouldn't you rather take a
ride on this love boat, hmm?

[chuckles]

- I really do have to do algebra, though.
- Oh, come on, you can do it later.

I have to do music later.

We can make music now.

[sighs]

Oh, my...

[chuckles]

[sighs]

- Okay. Zig.
- But come on!

- Okay, I'm getting off.
- Come on.

No, Maya, come on.

- Let go!
- [chuckling] What?

- It's okay. What?
- Stop.

Stop, Zig!

- Stop!
- [grunts]

Oh, my God, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

- Yeah, um...
- I'm just really busy

- and I have a lot to do.
- No, it's okay.

- I mean, you understand, right?
- No, no, no.

I'm, um... I'm just gonna go.

Uh... yeah, okay.

[sighs]

Mr. President, could I have a minute?

- Exactly one.
- Oh, better talk fast.

[exhales]

Forcing people to play sports is stupid

- and it sucks nards.
- Good start.

Let him finish.

- We need a gamer club.
- [Zoë snorts]

It's not a joke. Millions of
people play MOBAs every day.

And MOBAs is a game?

It's... it's a type of game,
multiplayer online battle arena.

Some colleges offer
sports scholarships for it.

Finger quotes around "sports."

It's e-sports.

So you wanna replace sports with
slouching in front of a computer?

I wanna replace getting mocked
with something I'm actually good at!

Hit the gym like a normal person.

You promised to make
Degrassi a place for everyone.

Are you gonna fix it, or are you
gonna keep being a stupid liar?

Minute's up.

Thank you for your time.

- [sighs]
- So, how'd it go?

- Operation Get Some was a total bust.
- What?

I don't know, man. I tried
to be assertive, but...

I think Maya might be done with me.

Or maybe she doesn't want to be r*ped.

- Whoa!
- Whoa! What?

Nobody did that!

[sighs] What do you call
forcing someone to have sex?

- Grace, she's my girlfriend.
- That doesn't make it not r*pe.

Will you stop using the R-word, please?

- [Grace sighs]
- This wasn't their first time, Grace.

And so what? Bone her once and
suddenly you get an all-access pass?

So he's supposed to ask
for every little thing?

Yeah, idiot. That's how consent works.

You know, that thing
you're supposed to get,

before you climb on top of
some poor, unsuspecting girl?

Mood k*ller.

I'm about to be a serial k*ller.

He was just trying to score a home run.

So Maya's like... the opposing team?

Okay, Grace, I didn't
do anything wrong, okay?

I just don't want Maya to break up with me.

[cell phone chimes]

_

- [Zig sighs]
- Funny how things work out, huh?

[Grace sighs]

My mom thinks I'm a bad guy.

Yeah, my mom thinks I'm a bad cook.

Sorry, your problem's bigger.

No, my problem's standing over there.

Oh! You came to thank me.

- How sweet.
- Thank you? For what?

For getting you out of that
dinner you were complaining about.

With a detention.

I believe in solving problems,
not whining about them.

Don't act like you did me a favor.

You're the only one who thinks
your dad isn't to be trusted,

so find proof.

- Yeah, because it's that easy.
- Criminals get careless.

If your dad's a bad guy, there's evidence.

So, what's your brilliant plan?
Break into Mr. H's apartment?

Of course not.

But, I assume his son can get a key.

Break my finger.

- Said no one, ever.
- They can't force me

to do intramurals with a broken bone.

But that's your hand. How will you game?

That's tomorrow-Hunter's problem.

So, the gamer club's a no-go?

Tristan's never heard of MOBAs.
He didn't take me seriously.

Are you sure about this?

One day, losers like Tristan
and Zoë will be working for me.

But... [sighs]

right now, this is the only way.

Should I get a pencil to bite on before...

- [bangs]
- [Hunter screams]

- [sighs]
- [door opens]

Okay, look, I know why you
called me here, and I just...

- Zig, I'm glad you're here.
- [Maya sighs]

My mom wants to talk to us.

Now will you please tell
me what this is about?

- Okay. Um...
- [Zig clears throat]

Here goes. So...

I know I can't stop you from having sex.

Whoa, Mom, we're not having sex, okay?

Then why did I find these?

[Maya] I don't know. Those aren't ours.

I have no idea where those came from.

- Tell her, Zig.
- [Zig] Uh...

[Maya] Oh, my God.

- Seriously?
- Well, I wanted to be prepared.

You two need to be on the same page.

So take birth control, for example.

I mean, these are...
these are great, but...

Zig, did you know that
Maya is not on the pill?

- Mom! Ugh!
- Um, no. No, I didn't.

What about STIs? When was the
last time that you were tested?

Never.

What do you mean "never"?

Well, I've only had sex with you, Maya.

So you two have had sex.

- Oh, God.
- [groans]

- Look, you don't need to tell me.
- [Zig groans]

But if you two can't even talk about sex,

should you really be doing it?

[Zig groans]

[Esme gasps]

- [whispers] Nice place.
- [door closes]

- Maybe this is a bad idea.
- It's slightly too late for that.

[Miles sighs]

Why are you even helping me?

I'm new here. I need friends.

And I know what it's like to have
someone in your life you'd rather not.

Where's his computer?

I don't know. I've never
been in my dad's condo before.

Even if we find his
computer, how will we get in?

- Found it.
- Oh, okay.

Well, I've tried all the
usual passwords before.

- Family pet...
- What's your middle name?

David, but I really doubt that's it.

I'm in. Old people are dumb. [chuckles]

[Miles] Okay, here's an email to Andrea.

This is the woman that my
dad was having an affair with.

He asks her to stay away from
him, so he can fix things at home.

[door unlocking]

[whispering] I thought you said
your dad was in a transit meeting.

- There.
- [breath trembling]

[door closes]

[whispers] We're gonna get
caught by the cleaning lady.

Shut up. You are so bad at crimes.

My mom's gonna blame me for this,
like she does for everything else...

My dad will probably be moved
back in by the end of the weekend.

Esme, what are you doing?

Like I said...

I need friends.

[pop music playing on phone]

[Maya] And then here,
we could cut the reverb.

Mmm-hmm. We could even have
like, a... an ambient tone...

- Yeah, we could.
- Mmm-hmm.

[music stops]

Can we talk?

Okay, uh, why don't you just...

- Yeah. [clears throat]
- ...text me when you're done with this.

[door closes]

- Dumping me would be a huge mistake.
- What is going on with you?

Did you stop loving me?

Of course I love you.

I can love you and not wanna... you know...

[stammers] How can you want
to and then not want to?

Who says I don't want to?

Sometimes at night, when I think of you...

I just wanna...

I'm really worried it's
gonna be weird again.

Well, if we're not doing it, doesn't
that mean we're gonna break up?

Why would it...

Are you gonna break up with
me if we don't have sex?

- No, no! Of course not.
- Then why would you think that?

Because every time I try to
bring it up, you make excuses.

Because I'm... I'm scared, Zig!

What if I say yes, and
then I change my mind?

Then we'll stop.

I never wanna feel like I'm forcing you.

So we should just keep talking?

Yeah, it sounds like somewhere to start.

- Did it hurt?
- He definitely cried like it hurt.

Well, no pain, no gain.

So, for two hours of pain, you
got a month off of intramurals?

Sweet ROI.

We need to talk.

Hi, Tristan. I voted for you.

Council discussed your
proposal, and you're right,

sports shouldn't be the
only intramural option.

- You're messing with me.
- Of course not.

Congratulations, gamer club is approved.

No one's ever taken my
ideas seriously before.

- Well, I can't imagine why.
- [Hunter sighs and chuckles]

Dude, you did it.

We got our own team.

- Ah!
- If you make the cut.

[Yael chuckles]

- Wait, so you guys made out?
- Listen, you're missing the point.

[stammering] That email, was
it real? Can my dad change?

Those are, um, tough questions.

Um...

how far did you guys go?

- You're obsessed, okay?
- [chuckles]

Why aren't you?

I mean, you are so fixated on your dad,

you can't even enjoy a
spontaneous closet make-out.

Tell me how and I'll do it. Anything
to survive this stupid dinner.

I don't know, man. Just... let go.

- How're you holding up?
- [Winston] Hi, Esme!

Maybe we can grab a coffee sometime.

Or, uh... commit a sexy felony.

[softly] Yeah.

You told him we made out?

What's a girl gotta do to
put a smile on your face?

Convince my mom to dump my dad.

There are always going to be
people in your life who upset you.

So, I just get to feel
like crap forever, then?

Don't give them that power.

Find a way to control your feelings.

Here are my happy pills.

Mom's waiting in the car.
Don't wanna be late for Dad.

Yeah, I'll meet you there.

Take two and call me in the morning.

Or don't. Whatever.

[sighs]

[typing]

[groans]

I just wrote a chord progression
into my English essay.

- My brain is officially fried.
- [chuckles]

- Hey, can I ask you something?
- Mmm-hmm.

Could I come sit next to you?

Sure.

Do you want me to, um, close my laptop?

Uh, or I could.

- Uh, or whatever.
- [chuckles]

- [chuckles nervously]
- Can I, uh...

- kiss your neck?
- Okay. [chuckles]

[chuckles softly]

May I, uh... remove your shirt?

- Can I remove yours?
- [chuckles] Uh, yes!

- [stammers] I mean, um, sure.
- [chuckles]

[both chuckling]

This is, uh, weird, isn't it?

A little, yeah.

Should we stop?

No.

- Oh! Can we just have sex?
- Yes!

[Maya giggles]

[soft rock music playing]