04x08 - Mr. Monk and Little Monk

[bunniefuu]

[cat meowing]

This is a real g*n, and I know how to use it.

You don't wanna do this.

Lady! I said no!

I know how it works.

[g*n clicking] No!

No, no, no, no!

No! Ahh!

[alarm blaring]

Let's get outta here!

Wait. We gotta do the thing.

What thing?

The thing--the painting!

Okay, that's good enough! Let's go!

[Randy Newman ragtime theme]

* It's a jungle out there

* Disorder and confusion everywhere *

* No one seems to care

* Well, I do

* Hey, who's in charge here?

* It's a jungle out there

* Poison in the very air we breathe *

* You know what's in the water that you drink? *

* Well, I do And it's a-ma-zing *

* People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time *

* If you paid attention, you'd be worried too *

* You'd better pay attention or this world we love so much *

* Might just k*ll you

* I could be wrong now

* But I don't think so

* 'Cause it's a jungle out there *

* It's a jungle out there *

Okay, this one is okay.

This one is good.

Mr. Monk, really, you don't have to wash 'em.

They're just gonna get recycled.

They're just gonna get all smushed together.

You may be right. This one's still sticky.

We'll wash that again.

[doorbell rings]

Are you gonna get that?

Natalie?

Hello.

[coughs]

Mr. Monk.

There's someone here to see you.

She says she's an old friend.

Sherry Judd?

[cup clattering]

Sherry. She's here?

What does she want? I don't know.

Who is she?

Someone I knew in the eighth grade.

Is she here to apologize?

I don't know.

Well, tell her it's too little too late.

No, wait! Wait, uh...

Tell her about Trudy.

Tell her that I married Trudy.

Tell her Trudy loved me.

Tell her how pretty Trudy was.

Wait.

Tell her Trudy and I went all the way.

Mr. Monk, I think she needs your help.

With her homework?

No, with a case. We're all grown up now.

Oh, yeah. Right.

(Monk) Sherry?

Hello. It's--I'm Adrian Monk.

Adrian, you--you look great.

Um, you probably don't even remember me.

Is that Trudy? She was beautiful.

Natalie told me what happened. I'm so sorry.

Thank you. We went all the way.

Please, why don't you have a seat?

Can I offer you anything?

We have bottled water.

And, uh--pushing the bottled water.

I'm fine. Thanks.

Where to begin?

I've been living in Seattle.

We just moved back three years ago--

We?

Oh, my husband and I. Ah.

Michael.

We're recently divorced.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

No, no, it's for the best. Believe me.

So it's just been me and my housekeeper Gladys.

That's why I'm here.

Sunday night someone broke in.

I guess Gladys woke up.

Um, there must have been a fight.

And, um...he k*lled her.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

No, I wasn't home.

Adrian, I'm the only family Gladys had.

I just want justice for her.

I-I want to make sure that the best people are working on this.

And I've been asking around, and everyone says you're a genius, but... of course I already knew that.

Adrian, um, helped me out of a jam when we were kids.

Ahh.

About 30 years ago.

It was April 12, 1972.

You remember?

I only remember the date.

And what everybody wore.

And what everybody said. And what everybody did.

Here it is. Westover Junior High 1972.

Natalie, don't open that.

Natalie, put that back. I command you.

Sherry, you were so cute.

Okay, now, where is Mr. Monk?

Natalie, just close the book.

(Monk) I mean it, Natalie. Natalie.

Okay, that's it. You're fired.

She's fired. [gasps] Oh!

No, that couldn't be me.

It says Adrian Monk.

[both laughing]

Oh...

[seventies-style disco music plays]

*

Adrian.

Mom, everyone's watching.

Here's your lunch.

It's cut into ten little squares just the way we like it.

And your first aid kit. And your toiletry bag.

Mom. You'll thank me later.

Remember, don't share your food with anyone.

Sit near the fire doors.

I'll pick you up at 3:04.

I'll be wearing an orange blouse.

Mom, I know what you look like.

I'll be fine.

I love you, Mom.

What are you doing?

Right. Sorry.

(Lily) Here he comes.

And he's like the real-life Eddie Munster.

[sighs] He can hear you.

He won't even know what it means.

I heard they don't even have a TV.

(Beth) I heard his brother never comes out of the house.

(Lily) I heard they have to memorize the dictionary.

One letter per month.

I heard that they take four showers a day.

[romantic R&B music]

* Whoo whoo whoo

* Baby

* Don't you know my heart by now *

* Doesn't come this far just to... *

Oh hi, Sherry.

I wanted to thank you for recommending that rock-and-roll record.

It was very groovy.

I didn't recommend anything.

Yes, you did.

You were wearing a Led Zeppelin T-shirt yesterday, which is the same thing as recommending them.

So, uh, I went out, and I bought their record.

The, uh... Stairway Up To Heaven?

What did you think?

Well, you know, I haven't actually listened to it yet.

We don't have a record player.

I assume it's excellent.

I mean, uh, groovy.

Yes, you can tell from the cover.

They look so groovy.

Well, I gotta go.

You always turn your lock back to zero.

I noticed that. I do that too.

So later it's easier to open.

Uh-huh.

Actually, there are a lot of things we have in common.

"Things Adrian Monk and Sherry Judd have in common:"

You made a list?

"One--Our lockers are right next to each other.

"Two--We both like The Patty Duke Show.

"Even though she has to be lying

"because they're supposed to be identical cousins, "which is biologically impossible.

"Three--Perfect attendance records.

"And, uh, four...

Neither of us has a date to the Spring Fling."

How do you know that?

I happened to catch a glimpse of your weekly planner.

And I noticed that you have a babysitting job lined up for that evening.

Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not.

Hey, Sherry.

Hey, Jimmy.

I'm going to art class. You wanna be my model?

Yeah, cool.

Good-bye, Adrian.

Bye.

Yes, I will help you.

What was he like? As a kid?

Pretty much the same.

Careful. Smart.

Sad.

I don't think people change, really.

At least I've never seen it.

I waited ten years for my husband to change.

Mr. Monk?

Mr. Monk?

[whispers] Mr. Monk, let's come over here.

Strange.

Fingerprints, but no palm prints.

There were two of them.

The housekeeper surprised them.

There was a struggle.

She pushes the alarm.

She hits her head and falls here.

This painting, is it valuable?

Not really, except to me.

It's my great-grandmother.

Why would someone do something like that?

Did you have spray paint in the house?

No.

So they must have brought it with them.

Thank you.

This is the housekeeper's blood.

So they defaced the painting after they k*lled her.

After the alarm sounded.

They risked everything?

They risked life in prison to deface your great-grandmother?

I think that's why they were here.

To do this.

To draw glasses and a mustache?

And a little goatee.

She was your great-grandmother?

Tell me about her.

I never met her.

She was a famous suffragette.

She went to jail for the right to vote.

Maybe they were making a statement.

Like a political thing.

You mean they broke into the house, and they b*at a woman to death, then defaced the painting because they had trouble with the 19th amendment?

Yes.

I mean...no.

It's a mystery.

It's okay. It's my house.

Sherry? Michael?

How did-- how did you get in?

It's still my house, Sherry.

At least technically. That is not true.

You can't just come over, Michael, it's--

It's in the agreement.

It was on the news. I had to come.

Sorry about Gladys. I really am.

Are you okay? Were you here?

I was in San Diego visiting my sister.

That's right. I knew that.

Um, Captain Stottlemeyer, this is my ex-husband Michael Norfleet.

Yes, we've already spoken to Mr. Norfleet.

This is Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger.

Monk?

From junior high?

That's right.

Sherry told me all about you.

About how you never took a single gym class.

I had a note.

Huh.

(Michael) Oh, my God!

They did that too? Animals.

Did they take anything? Michael.

Please just leave.

[sighs]

Sir, she asked you to leave.

Yes, okay. I'm going.

But before I do, I figured I'd save myself a stamp.

Here you go. Your monthly pound of flesh.

Mail it next time. I'll pay for the stamp.

Yeah, well. Good luck on this.

See ya around.

Thank you.

How much do we have?

[change rattles]

$18.25.

How do you do that?

I don't know.

It's kind of funny, raising money for a dance that neither of us is going to.

Uh, Leo, here's the thing, you gotta pay for that.

Pay for what?

Where's your evidence, Columbo?

Leo, I'm telling Principal Thicket.

I'm not kidding.

You don't wanna do that, Sherry.

You'll be sorry. I mean it.

Are you gonna pay us or not?

Hmm.

[gasps]

[laughing]

Leo, I'm telling. I'm serious!

Here, it's okay. It's only chocolate. Here.

Thanks.

You should carry these with you.

That's a list of people that have worked at her house over the past year.

Do you recognize anybody? No.

Neither did we.

Monk, Natalie and Sherry are downstairs waiting for you.

Oh, yeah.

They're taking the painting to the museum.

A guy named James Duffy works there.

He's a restoration expert.

What, you're going with?

Yeah. Well, keep your eyes open.

What? What do you mean?

It's just that your friend, Sherry Judd, just got a homeowner's policy worth a million dollars two weeks ago.

That's pretty convenient, isn't it? Well, that's ridiculous.

You think she did it herself for the insurance?

No, no, she was in San Diego, like she said.

But she could've hired somebody.

No. No?

She doesn't need the money.

I got a look at that alimony check.

She's getting 20 grand a month.

That's a lot of dough.

Thank you. But, Monk... you and I have put enough rich people in jail to know that a lot of dough is never enough.

They always want more.

Not Sherry. You don't know her.

What?

It's just that I haven't heard you talk about a woman like this... for a long time.

(young Sherry) How did you get all that chocolate out?

My mom makes me keep a backup shirt in my locker.

Listen, Sherry... [clears throat]

I, uh, I really like you--

(Leo) Hey, Judd.

Here.

Let me help.

What are you doing?

(Leo) Mr. Thicket said I have to act more like a gentleman.

He said that just before he gave me two weeks detention.

Thanks for ratting me out.

Well, you know, Leo, you were stealing from the decorating committee... man, which means that you were really stealing from everybody.

Relax, Charlie Brown. I learned a lesson.

I'll never steal again.

For example, I'll never do this.

Uh, hey, Leo. That's mine.

Could you please give it back? And I would never ever dip this into the toilet.

Oh, Leo, please. Not the toilet.

Not the toilet. Come on, Leo.

Be cool, man.

This is none of your business, Jimmy.

I'm just saying there's already enough bad vibes in the world.

You don't have to add to it.

Come on. Give it back.

What would Mick Jagger do?

He'd give it back. Wouldn't he?

Here.

This isn't over.

So what's the name of that dance?

The Spring Fling.

That sounds stupid, but if you wanna go, I'll go.

Yeah, that would be cool.

Are you okay? I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Because I could get Natalie to carry it.

Oh, hello.

We have an appointment with James Duffy.

Art restoration. Sure.

He'll meet you in the main gallery.

Thank you.

Mr. Monk, can I give you some advice? Yeah.

And I'm only saying this to you as a friend.

As someone who's dated...

A lot. What?

Some wine spilled.

Where?

Over there.

It's a painting.

It's driving me a little crazy.

Then don't look at it.

Okay, it's about Sherry.

I've been watching you, and I--

I can't not look.

Maybe they could fix it.

This guy we're seeing restores art, right?

Mr. Monk.

(Monk) Maybe he could just paint over it.

Forget about the painting.

I think you should ask her out.

Take her to dinner.

Sherry? No.

No, I can't.

Yes, you can. I know you want to.

I do? Yes.

You want to. Trust me on this.

What about Trudy? I'm a married man.

Mr. Monk, it's not really a date.

You're old friends, right? You're just catching up.

Mr. Monk, she likes you.

Uh, there's no way. Why not?

She knows me.

Just think about this for one second.

There are over 200 private detectives in this city.

But she came to you, didn't she?

She likes you.

I'm not gonna ask you again, Miss Judd.

I want you to open that locker.

This is crazy.

Principal Thicket, I didn't take anything.

Open the locker.

What's going on?

Somebody stole the bake sale money.

Mr. Thicket got an anonymous note.

Whoever wrote it said they saw the money in Sherry's locker.

That's impossible.

I--That's not mine.

That's not mine!

How did that get in there?

Where's the money, Sherry?

I don't know. I swear I didn't take it.

Well, how did this get in there?

Does anyone else know your combination?

No.

Let's go to my office.

I think we need to talk to your parents.

Back to class. Everybody, back to class!

I love this one.

Look at their faces.

I wonder what they're thinking.

She's planning to m*rder him.

What?

She's about to feed him Amanita mushrooms.

You can tell by the little white spots.

It's a deadly poison.

Maybe she doesn't know.

Oh, she knows.

He's been hitting her. She's swollen.

See the bruises on her arms and her left eye.

She knows what she's doing.

Must be hard.

To be you.

To see everything.

It's awful.

[mouths words]

Sherry. Hmm?

I was wondering...later... when we're done here... if you're not too busy... maybe, um, we could, you know--

Hello. James Duffy.

Hi, my assistant told me you have a canvas you need me to--

Sherry?

Yes.

It's Jimmy Wagner.

Jimmy?

Oh, my God. I don't believe this!

Adrian, can you believe it? It's Jimmy Wagner.

You still wear a flower in your hair.

You look great. Oh, no, you look great.

You look great.

They both look great.

Oh, do you remember Adrian Monk?

Yes, of course, Adrian, super sleuth.

I read about you all the time.

Jimmy.

And Natalie Teeger.

They're helping me out. I've just had a terrible week.

Somebody broke into my house.

My housekeeper was k*lled.

I heard about that. I am so sorry.

I didn't realize that was you.

Oh, it's confusing. Sometimes I'm Sherry Norfleet.

I was divorced in April. Oh.

How 'bout you?

Divorced. Lotta that going around.

But you changed your name?

Well, my mother remarried when I was 15.

Oh...

You really look great.

So I guess I should take a look at the patient.

Oh, right over here.

You've come a long way from tie-dyeing tee shirts.

I still do that on the weekends too.

Don't tell anybody.

I remember this painting.

This was in your parents' dining room.

Yeah, that's right.

Excuse me, Jimmy--Jim.

Is there anything peculiar about that spray paint?

I'll have to run some tests, but it feels like an oil-based spray enamel.

You can get it at any hardware store.

So what do you think, Doc? Is she gonna make it?

She'll be fine. I'll take good care of her.

Sherry, are you busy?

I would love to show you my studio.

It's just around the corner.

I-I'd love that.

That sounds like fun.

You look great.

(Climax) * Baby, it's you on my mind *

* Your love is so rare... *

Sherry was here. Cash box was here.

Leo comes in. Put that cupcake down.

* And if I can't hold you in my arms *

* It just wouldn't be fair

* 'Cause precious and few *

* Are the moments we two can share *

*

* And if I can't find my way back home... *

Adrian Monk, is that you?

You're not allowed in here until after the dance.

Oh, I'm not here for the dance.

I'm trying to figure out who stole the money from the bake sale.

They said it was that girl. The honor student.

Sherry Judd.

I made these for the after-party.

Here, tell me what you think.

Here. Here. Take this one.

It has ten chocolate chips. Exactly ten.

Just the way you like it.

You're an excellent cook, Mrs. Lidsky.

It's a gift and a curse.

Here, I'll send some more of these home with you for you and your brother.

I've got some boxes left over from the bake sale.

Blue icing.

What is it?

It's a clue.

Oh.

I'm so sorry, Mr. Monk.

No, I'm happy for her. They seem like a great couple.

Well, they're not a couple yet.

They will be. She's gonna go out with him.

How do you know?

I notice little things, like the way she said, "Yes, I will go out with you."

She wrote her phone number on his hand and didn't let go of his hand for 27 seconds.

[motorcycle revs]

Natalie.

Look at his gloves.

Yeah, so? No fingers.

Remember the handprint on Sherry's wall?

They were bikers?

They were bikers.

Captain, you know that list of all the people who worked at Sherry Judd's house in the last year?

I cross-checked it against registered motorcycle owners.

We got two hits.

Well, good, let's take one and give one to Monk.

Yes, sir. Which one?

Doesn't matter.

Oh, uh...

Just pick one.

One potato, two potato, three potato, four, five potato...

Randy, a woman is dead.

Yes, sir.

My mother told me to pick the--

Hey.

You, okay? You look uncomfortable.

Why don't we leave?

No, Mr. Monk, I'm fine.

Okay, but if you get uncomfortable, you let me know.

And we can just leave. Okay.

Whoa, or if you feel like you're about to get uncomfortable.

Okay, Mr. Monk, why don't we call the captain and just let him handle this? No.

No, no. We can do this.

Who are you trying to impress?

Nobody.

Sherry. No.

Natalie, I am a private detective.

This is what I do.

I don't care what Sherry Judd thinks of me.

She's just a girl that sat behind me in homeroom.

Hey, you alone?

No, I'm with him.

So you're alone.

You know what, buddy? You don't wanna do this.

Just back off.

Huh. Huh.

Hey, how you doin'?

We're looking for Travis and George Baptiste.

Never heard of 'em.

Okay, let's go.

That's funny, 'cause we heard they're in here all the time.

[coughs]

[coughing]

Waiter.

He's...

Excuse me, sir. There's no smoking.

It's okay. He can smoke.

[coughs]

[coughing]

New rule, no spazzes in the bathroom.

Okay, if I see any spazzes, I'll tell them.

You're a regular Flip Wilson, you know that?

Where's the money, Leo?

What are you talking about, Monk?

Monk the punk.

You took the money from the bake sale.

You put it in the cake box so nobody would see you leaving with it.

Hey, they found the empty cash box, remember?

It was in your girlfriend's locker.

Which was locked.

You framed her.

How? Tell me.

She's the only one who knows the combination.

I don't know how.

But you did it.

You're the guy.

I'm the guy?

I'm the guy who's about to stuff you in your own locker and lock the door.

[clears throat]

You, uh, looking for us?

Travis Baptiste?

Yeah I'm Travis. This is George.

Your neighbor said we might find you here.

You guys did some roofing work for Michael Norfleet last year.

Yeah, that's right.

I wonder why you're asking.

I wonder if you wonder.

Where were you Sunday night, Travis?

You a cop?

Are you a k*ller?

Whoa, whoa.

Time out, time out. Let me get that.

(Natalie) Mr. Monk, get back!

Broken glass. Get down!

Take it out!

Put it down! Drop it!

Everyone on the floor now!

Officer. Officer.

Officer, I'm Adrian Monk.

I want you to put out an APB on two homicide suspects.

They just ran outta here.

Their names are Travis Baptiste and his brother George.

Got it?

Mr. Monk, look, he left his wallet.

109 Vinton Street. This is Sherry's house.

Enter here.

Somebody must have hired them.

What?

Why are you making that face?

Why are you smiling?

Stop it!

Kid, you all right?

Adrian, are you okay?

He'll be scarred for life. Psychologically.

Nah, he'll get over it.

[whispers]

What did he say?

He said he solved the case.

He knows how Leo did it.

Mike Norfleet.

Captain Stottlemeyer wants to see me.

[laughing] Yeah, I know.

I gotta go.

Whatever it is, I didn't do it.

Sherry. Captain.

What's going on?

Oh, good!

You fixed it. It's as good as new.

Sir, please don't touch that. That's evidence.

Evidence of what?

Mr. Norfleet, you're under arrest for the m*rder of Gladys Aquino, your wife's housekeeper.

Son, this'll be a lot easier on everyone if you just confess.

I know you took the money.

That's crazy. It was in her locker.

Nobody else could've opened it.

The cash box was in her locker because you put it there.

And I know how you did it.

Here's what happened.

You hired two men, Travis Baptiste and his brother, to break in to Sherry's house.

Ridiculous.

We found this in Travis' wallet.

Anyone coulda written that.

It's true.

The letters are printed.

There's nothing special about them.

But look at the house number.

Look at the zero.

There's a little line through it.

I noticed something yesterday.

When you were stuffing me into my locker.

Which, by the way, wasn't very cool.

My locker was set to zero.

I remember that Sherry always set her lock to zero as well.

Open the locker.

(Adrian) But the day before when Principal Thicket found the cash box, her lock was not set to zero.

This was all about the zeroes.

You don't see a zero written like this very often.

But I saw four of them the day before when you were writing Sherry's alimony check.

I've seen other people write zeroes like that.

True, but how many of them also know the floor plan to your wife's house?

Here's what happened.

When you pretended to help her with her books, you pocketed her lock and replaced it with yours.

It was a perfect plan.

You took out the money.

Then, when nobody was watching, you came back and planted the cash box.

Then you put her lock back on the locker.

Why would I hire somebody to break into her house?

There's nothing in there that I want.

Ah, yes, the motive.

I knew it had something to do with this painting.

But I just couldn't figure out what.

Then I remembered how you resented paying all that alimony.

I believe you called it your monthly pound of flesh.

Her alimony?

You'd be paying her alimony forever unless she got remarried.

This wasn't about stealing anything or hurting anybody.

This was about them.

You were fixing them up.

He knew about Jimmy.

I talked about him all the time.

You tracked him down, and you got lucky.

He was single and still living right here in the city.

(Monk) But you had a problem.

How were you going to get them together?

You couldn't just call her.

You and Sherry were barely speaking.

And she would have resented any suggestion you made.

So you played Cupid.

You hired Travis and his brother to break into her house.

And to deface the painting.

A painting she loved.

One you knew she would want restored.

You were betting that eventually she'd bring it to James.

He is the best art restorer in the city.

They would discover that they still had feelings for each other.

And you were right.

Nice story.

You can't prove any of it.

You can't prove any of this.

Are you gonna believe Adrian Monk?

He's a freak. You can ask anybody.

Let's empty out all your pockets.

Come on.

That's my money.

Travis and George were just picked up this morning in Las Vegas.

They will be here tomorrow.

And these boys are gonna talk. I can promise you that.

Their fingerprints were all over that room.

This money's from the bake sale.

That's my handwriting.

I wrote "Good Luck" next to honest Abe Lincoln.

Why don't you and I have a little talk in my office?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Nobody was supposed to get hurt.

What was Gladys doing there?

It was supposed to be her day off.

Lieutenant Disher, book him.

The crazy thing is... it worked.

Congratulations, darling.

Thank you.

You're amazing.

You're still amazing.