08x11 - Mr. Monk and the Dog

[bunniefuu]

[Laughing]

Hey.

Good morning.

You hungry?

Come on, honey.

[Humming]

Hey, cutie pie.

Would you like a little piece?

There you go.

Go get your ball.

Where are the scissors?

Does he keep them in here?

Or are they in here?

Good morning.

Mmm! How'd you sleep?

Are you married?

[Sighs]

Amanda.

What is all this?

It's complicated.

Really? It doesn't look complicated.

It looks pretty simple. Give me 2 minutes to explain.

"I never felt this way before"?

"Heaven must be missing an angel"?

Don't get hysterical. What was all that?

Amanda, would you... Don't! Don't touch me!

Are you going to let me explain?

Please? [Sigh]

Technically, yes, but it's been over for a long time.

We just haven't made it official.

You were married. You know what it's like.

Amanda, it's over.

My hand to god.

My hand to god, huh?

Then you won't mind if we get rid of this.

Whoa, what are you doing? Or these.

Amanda, don't, don't, don't what are you doing? [Garbage disposal grinding]

Are you... are you okay?

I'm okay.

I think I...

[Cell phone beeping]

Just gonna...

[Groans]

Amanda?

Amanda.

9-1-1. What is your emergency?

9-1-1. Are you still there?

9-1-1.

Are you still there?

9-1-1. Are you still there?

9-1-1.

[Randy Newman's it's a jungle out there]

♪ It's a jungle out there

♪ disorder and confusion everywhere ♪

♪ No one seems to care

♪ well, I do

♪ hey, who's in charge here?

♪ It's a jungle out there

♪ poison in the very air we breathe ♪

♪ Do you know what's in the water that you drink? ♪

♪ Well, I do, and it's a-ma-zing ♪

♪ People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time ♪

♪ If you paid attention, you'd be worried too ♪

♪ You'd better pay attention or this world we love so much ♪

♪ Might just k*ll you

♪ I could be wrong now

♪ but I don't think so

♪ 'cause it's a jungle out there ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

[Screams and laughter]

Are you my uncle?

No. [Laughs]

No.

Didn't think so.

No. I'm your aunt Natalie's boss.

Do you know her other boss, the crazy one?

Yes.

Yes, i-i-i-i think I have met him...

Once or twice.

So you're not really in our family?

No.

Well, how come you're here?

Well, Natalie invited me.

Where's your family?

Pull!

You've gotta... You have to pull that way.

That way!

Mr. Monk, we know which way to go.

They're pulling hard.

You have to pull 5% to 10% harder.

Well, try walking backwards.

No! You're not trying.

Are you letting them win?

Hey.

It's so nice to see you again.

Mr. Monk!

Mr. Monk!

Mr. Monk, come here.

[Cheering]

Oh, I'm still sore from that tug of w*r.

That was fun yesterday, wasn't it?

I'm glad you were there.

Are you okay?

Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have a family like that?

I know. I'm very lucky.

I hope you appreciate it.

I do. I do appreciate it.

I hope you do. I do.

I hope you do.

I do. I'm saying I do. I appreciate it.

I hope... You're not listening to me.

I hope you do.

Am I not being clear? I appreciate it.

Yeah, well, I hope that you do.

I appreciate it.

Hey, thank you for coming.

What's going on?

Missing person.

I hope that's what it is.

Her name's Amanda castle.

She's an artist.

Apparently, she's a pretty big deal, very famous.

Huh. Never heard of her.

Me, neither.

Well, somebody's heard of her, because the press has taken an interest, which means the mayor has taken an interest, which means I'm here, which means you're here, and you.

Hey, how was the picnic? Horrible.

It was great.

Uh, Adrian monk, Natalie teeger, this is Samantha Austin.

She's Amanda's agent.

How long has she been missing?

Since last weekend.

Since sunday morning.

I was supposed to meet her at my gallery.

She has a show next month.

I was just telling the captain something's wrong. I can feel it.

I've known Amanda for years, and she never would have gone anywhere without her medication or without Shelby.

And Shelby is her daughter?

No.

Shelby is her son?

Here she is. Come here, girl.

There's a good girl.

It's a dog. Shelby is a dog!

Well, she's the only family Amanda has.

Family.

Did Amanda wear glasses?

No.

Hmm.

Somebody wore glasses.

Was she dating? Was there anyone in particular?

She didn't say. She never did.

She's a pretty private person.

Mm-hmm.

Are those glasses?

Looks like it.

Did somebody pose for this?

I don't know. I think it's new.

Could be a lover.

How do you figure?

Well, he's naked, and, uh...

Lower right corner?

Oh. Oh!

Oh, I thought that was the signature.

We need to find him.

Oh, not a problem.

We'll just make a copy of this and put out an a.P.B.

I don't think that's gonna work.

You can't even see his face.

I was joking, Randy.

Mmm.

Course you have to say that now.

[Gasps]

Natalie! That dog lick hand!

Dog lick hand!

Dog lick hand! Boil some water!

Dog lick hand.

We don't have boil water. Calm down. Shh.

Dog lick hand.

Yes, I know dog lick hand.

Dog likes you. Dog's been following you around.

Well, tell her not to like me!

Don't like me, you understand?

Go away.

You're a bad dog. Go away.

Somebody call animal control?

Yes, over here.

This is just temporary until Amanda gets back.

I can't keep her. I have a cat.

Come here, girl.

Thank you.

Mr. Monk, you should adopt the dog.

Excuse me?

Just for a day or two until the owner gets back.

I'm worried about you you're getting lonely.

Not that lonely, not dog lonely.

I think you are dog lonely.

Dogs are family.

No, no, dogs are animals, and they're filthy, they're naked, and they eat, and then they un-eat, and then... that is probably the worst idea you've ever had.

Why don't you take her?

I would, but Julie's allergic.

It's just for a day or two. All right, I gotta take the dog. Let's go.

Come on. [Whining]

I don't want any problems.

I got two more pickups today.

Get in the crate.

There you go. Come on, get in there.

Get in the crate.

Do you, uh...

Oh, no, never.

We're not what they call a k*ll shelter.

[Whining]

What happens if nobody comes to pick her up?

Well, in a month, we send her to what's called the k*ll shelter.

All right, come on. Let's go, get in there.

Wait.

Wait.

I'll take her.

Okay. Okay.

All right. Well, this is it.

Don't get too comfortable.

I never do.

This is just temporary.

You understand? Temporary.

Transitory. Right? Not permanent.

Okay? Ephemeral like.

Right.

All right, I guess I should show you around.

All right, you can look, but don't touch.

Okay, this is the couch, which is off limits.

This is my chair... off limits.

Over here, all right, that's the dining room table.

Don't even think about it.

And in here is the kitchen.

You can stay out of there.

No. No. Stay off.

Over here, stay away from that.

And over here is the bedroom, and here's the thing about the bedroom.

It's off limits.

Okay, now, you see this corner over here?

This is your corner.

This corner is okay.

Not the whole corner.

No. Basically, just this area here, from here to here.

That's your spot, all right?

Okay, I'm unhooking your leash.

Don't do anything stupid, okay?

Okay, good. Okay.

All right, just hold on.

All right.

You can get right up in there.

Okay, get up in there. Go on.

There you go.

Welcome home.

Yeah.

Doesn't exactly feel like a family, but, uh...

Okay, now what's that?

What is that? Is that a hair?

Pick it up.

I'm serious. Pick it...

Now what are you doing?

Don't do that.

No that, never that.

No... no scratching.

That's better.

All right, Natalie made a list.

All right, water.

Water. Okay.

Now, you stay there. I'll be right back.

Don't do anything, and you know what I'm talking about.

Stay there.

Just stay.

No licking!

No scratching.

What was I thinking?

What was I thinking?

Okay.

Here you go. Hello?

Shelby?

Hello, Shelby?

What the...

What is that?

Where are you? What are you doing?

[Lapping water]

What?

What are you doing?

Oh, my god!

[Whining] Stay away.

Stay away!

Stay!

Thank you all once again for coming.

You know the situation.

We're looking for a woman.

Her name is Amanda castle.

Although any dead body would be of interest to us.

Thank you, Randy.

She lives in that yellow house there.

That's where she was last seen, so we're going to start here.

Has everyone signed in?

No? Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's a good girl.

That's a good girl.

You taking good care of Mr. Monk?

Yeah. You want the gloves?

No, I don't want the gloves.

I'm so glad you brought her.

Well, I didn't have a choice.

I couldn't leave her alone...

In my house on my floor.

She won't stay in the umbrella.

This dog is not, and may never be, umbrella-trained.

He's a funny man, isn't he?

Oh, she's so clean.

She should be. I washed her for hours last night.

Yeah, don't! Don't... don't pet the tail.

She doesn't like that.

Oh, you like her. Admit it.

You like having someone in the house.

There are moments that aren't entirely unbearable.

Wow. Sounds like true love. [Laughs]

Whoa! Where you going there?

Hey, where you going?

[Dog whining]

Sorry about that.

Oh, it's okay.

She probably just smells my dog.

Hello, sweetheart.

What is she, a terrier?

We don't know.

Yeah, she's just staying with my boss for a while.

What are they feeding you, sweetheart?

Somebody needs to go on a diet.

Okay, let's get started!

Gonna line up over here, arm's length apart.

Gotta go.

Nice meeting you.

It's okay. Don't listen to him.

You're not fat.

So keep your eyes down.

We're looking for anything unusual, any freshly dug dirt, signs of a struggle, articles of clothing.

Over here!

It's hers.

This is a note.

"Saturday morning... Meet Dylan."

That's the ex-husband.

I mean, could we get that lucky?

Nobody's that lucky.

Here, hold Shelby.

Don't yank on it. She hates that.

You're yanking it.

I'm not yanking it.

Hey, monk! What have you got?

It's Amanda castle's. Who found it?

Guy in the gray shirt with the glasses.

Glasses?

I want to try something.

Excuse me, hello!

Could I have your attention?

We think that one of you k*lled Amanda castle.

If you're guilty, would you please raise your hand?

Well, we were just wondering.

Sorry to bother you.

Have a nice day.

What was that about?

Who is the guy with the glasses?

No idea.

Well, we need to find out.

I think Amanda is dead, and I think he k*lled her.

Look. Look at the buckle and the snap.

There's no rust.

It couldn't have been laying out in an open field all week.

He planted it. He's trying to frame the ex-husband.

Well, what was all that about raising your hand?

He didn't confess.

No, but he didn't look around, either.

Everybody else did.

Tell me when it's 2:30.

Okay.

What time is it?

Um, it's 1:15.

What happens at 2:30?

I promised somebody I'd be home.

It's Shelby. A man and his dog.

You love her. I can tell.

I don't love her.

I don't hate her. She's fine.

I don't mind her for a couple of days, maybe a week, whatever.

How's she doing? She's really smart.

This dog is really, really smart.

I've been teaching her tricks.

Like?

Oh, like not to lick me, not to drool, not to roll over, not to, you know, discharge anything.

Oh, since you mention it, I was gonna give it to you later, but...

♪ ta da!

It's a sha-poopie.

Oh, yeah, I don't need that, because I've taught her to hold it in.

Until when?

I haven't decided.

Well, she might decide for you.

You should take this.

Yeah, okay.

This could be it.

He gave a phony name when he signed in yesterday, but we ran his plates.

Say hello to Steven DeWitt.

He's an industrial engineer.

He owns, or, rather, his wife owns a $2 million brownstone on rockaway drive.

They know Amanda?

Very possible, yeah.

She's an artist, he's a big patron.

Apparently, he hangs out at the galleries.

What about the phone records?

No, nothing yet.

Be nice if we had a body.

She could be anywhere.

No, not quite anywhere.

Um...

Uh, all right, this is her house, and we know it's not there.

This is the park we checked yesterday.

It's not there.

Oh, that's my house.

We can eliminate that.

And this office.

That's true. It's not here.

Captain? Is there anything you want to eliminate?

Hello.

Amanda castle called 911 Saturday morning.

The call lasted eight seconds.

She didn't say anything and hung up.

Where did she call from?

From the general vicinity of Steven DeWitt's townhouse.

The general vicinity?

Yeah, well, within ten city blocks.

That's the best they can do.

It's not enough to prove they knew each other.

Oh, it's 1:22. We really should get back.

You said 2:30.

Yeah, but 1:22 is almost 2:30, and I hate to keep her waiting.

Want to stop and pick up some dessert on the way to surprise her. She loves surprises. [Laughs]

Face lights up. See you later.

Uh-huh, bye.

Does he have a girlfriend?

He kinda does.

Hello.

Hello.

[Laughs] Hey! Hey, okay, no licking.

No licking, no licking.

Okay, look, I will take you out.

Just let me put these on first.

Yeah? Yeah, you see what I got you?

Do you see what I got you?

Hey, uh... Hey, don't tell anybody, but I missed you, too.

Yeah, ice cream.

I didn't know which flavor you liked, so I got you all five.

[Laughs] Yeah, okay.

Come on.

Okay, here we go. Get ready.

Get ready.

Here we go, girl.

Go get it, girl! Go get the ball!

Get it.

Go on, girl. Go get it.

Get it.

Yeah, get... no?

Fetch the...

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

That's no fun at all, is it?

Yeah.

Okay, here.

Is that better?

Get it.

Get it. Good girl.

All right, bring it. Bring it.

Yeah, that's much better, isn't it?

Yeah, because you gotta feel the ball.

You gotta feel the ball.

I know. I know.

Stay with me now. Stay on the path.

I'm proud of you boys.

You're doing great.

Look at that view.

Breathtaking.

Looks like we're heading east.

You can tell by the moss.

The moss grows on the north side of the tree.

Do you know why?

Because there's more shade on it.

What are you doing?

What is that, a rug?

Don't touch it. Just leave it alone.

You don't know where it's been.

Seriously, hands off the rug!

My hands are off the rug, see?

Just leave it alone.

Good. [Vacuum cleaner whirring]

That's it.

Ah, you're a good girl. Yes, you are.

[Phone ringing]

[Vacuum cleaner turns off]

Just a second. Hello.

When?

I understand.

Yes. Okay, thank you for calling.

Okay, listen, um, you better sit down.

You remember Amanda, the nice lady who took care of you?

[Whimpers]

No, please, sit.

I'm afraid I have some bad news.

Well, she had an accident.

[Whines]

She won't be coming back.

[Whining]

Don't... don't... don't cry.

Don't cry.

Oh, she's happy.

She's on a farm with all her friends.

She loves it there.

She's...

Chasing rabbits all day, and...

You're not buying that.

I know how you feel.

Believe me, I know exactly how you feel.

Shh.

Never alone, little one.

Never alone.

I've already talked to the police.

I mean, the real police. They were here for three hours.

I didn't know the girl, I never met the girl.

You were at her house. You were looking for her.

I saw she was missing. It was on the news.

They said they needed volunteers.

I was just doing my civic duty.

Next time, I won't bother.

You gave the police a false name.

Yes, I have four or five unpaid parking tickets.

You want to arrest me for that, go ahead.

Something spill?

Excuse me?

This part of the floor, it almost looks like it was bleached.

Yeah, excuse me, I'm not comfortable with you just wandering around.

I'm sure you're not.

I didn't k*ll anyone, Mr. Monk, and you can't prove that I did.

Can you?

No, I can't.

I like your paintings.

Do you go to a lot of galleries?

I think we're done here.

No, I'm sorry, I misspoke.

I know we're done here.

Very nice meeting you both.

Uh, one more question. Just curious, about the rug.

Which rug? This rug.

It looks brand new. It is new.

Steve bought it last week while I was in London.

I couldn't have been more surprised.

Is this about that missing girl?

The poor thing.

I told you not to volunteer.

He thinks he can save the world single-handedly.

I don't think we've met.

I'm Gwen.

Oh, what a cute dog.

Oh, where's your tail?

He's an Australian Shepherd.

They're born tailless. They're bred that way.

That makes you special, doesn't it?

Can I get you folks a drink?

Actually, they were just leaving, dear.

Oh, I didn't even get your names.

There's no need to.

They won't be back.

I'm home!

[Whining]

Ah! [Laughs] There you are.

So how was she?

She was great.

I see you. There you are.

She's so cute.

Yeah, I love you, too. I love you, too.

Thank you for watching her.

Oh, I wish I had a dog. Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, she didn't eat?

Well, she wasn't hungry.

Oh, well, maybe, were you waiting for me?

She was probably waiting for me.

I think she was.

Your aunt Natalie's out front, so...

She'll give you a ride home.

You said $5.00.

Right.

Oh, you have change for a hundred?

Yes. Really?

Mm-hmm.

Then you won't need my five.

Attitude.

Where's my girl?

This way.

That a girl.

Easy, easy.

What do you got there?

Just a bug. [Laughs]

It's just a bug.

Okay, come on, this way.

Come on.

Good girl. Come on.

No, this way. Oh!

Oh, hey, what are you doing?

You don't know her.

This way.

Come on.

Come on. This way.

[Car engine revving]

[Tires squealing]

Shelby!

[Tires squeal, engine revs]

Somebody tried to k*ll Shelby?

Maybe he was drunk.

You know, or he was just turning around.

No, no, it was deliberate.

He...

[Whispering] Tried to run her down.

He wasn't interested in me.

He was definitely after Shelby.

[Whispering] Maybe he doesn't like dogs.

How could anyone not like dogs?

What reason would anybody possibly have?

I don't know.

I don't know, but it's got to be connected to Amanda castle.

She disappeared a week and a half ago.

Now, tonight, somebody tries to k*ll her dog.

It can't be a coincidence.

Was it the guy, Steven DeWitt?

I couldn't tell.

Well, what kind of car did he drive?

I don't know. I was...

I'm so worried about Shelby.

She's been acting strangely. Look at her.

She hasn't eaten all day.

Maybe she witnessed the m*rder.

She saw DeWitt k*ll Amanda, and now he's afraid that she'll identify him.

How?

She could bark at him.

Randy, as far as I know, in the state of California, dogs are not allowed to testify in open court.

Well, maybe DeWitt's afraid they'll change the rule.

What, change the rule against dogs testifying in court?

Hmm, you know, one of those referendums.

It is California.

You want to know how tired I am?

I'm so tired, I don't know if that even makes any sense.

Come on, monk, I'll give you a ride home, you and your girlfriend, we'll sleep on it, maybe it'll make more sense in the morning.

All right, let's go.

Ah, good girl. Good girl.

[Laughs] Cute dog.

Veterinarian hotline. What's your emergency?

Yes, hello.

I have a dog... Well, she's not really mine.

Sort of adopted her, but it's complicated.

You see, I'm a former police officer.

Sir, is the animal sick?

Yes. Uh, yes, I think so.

She isn't eating, and she, uh...

She seems to be shivering.

Oh, well, is she panting heavily and heaving?

Yes. Yes.

Uh-huh. Has she been putting on weight?

Well, yes. Yes, she has.

Well, it sounds like she's whelping.

I don't understand.

Well, I think she's in labor.

I don't understand.

She's in labor.

She's having a litter, little puppies?

Baby puppies.

You mean now?

It sounds like it.

Sir?

Are you still there?

Congratulations.

That's a good girl. That's a good girl.

You're doing great.

Mr. Monk, please bring me a towel.

Keep breathing.

[Whines] Oh, I know it hurts.

I've been there, too.

Where'd you get the mask?

Left top drawer.

It's a natural thing, Mr. Monk.

Your mother did it, twice.

You're not helping at all.

She didn't do it in somebody's living room!

Shh!

She didn't go surprising people.

Why... why didn't you tell me she was pregnant?

I didn't know. Nobody knew.

Come on, you're a woman. How could you not know?

It's a disaster.

Little animals coming out of other animals.

What was god thinking?

Oh, it's the miracle of life.

It's a beautiful thing.

[Shelby yelps] Oh!

Okay, that's not such a beautiful thing.

I mean, in general.

This is what I get.

Trying to be nice, and they open my...

Your heart? My house!

They open my house!

You opened your heart, Mr. Monk.

Don't close it now.

[Whining]

Oh, here it comes, ready or not.

No, no, not yet! I'm not ready yet, please.

No, just tell her to wait. Wait!

Wait, tell her... No. Shelby, no!

Bad dog!

You're doing good, sweetie. Keep breathing.

Keep breathing. Here it comes.

What is that? That can't be right.

That is... that cannot be right.

Whoa. That... That can't be right.

That is not right. There's no way that...

Congratulations, grandpa.

Wow.

I know.

It's a boy.

What are you gonna name him?

Exhibit "a."

[Laughing]

Good girl.

Exhibit "a"?

Check out the tail.

What tail? Exactly.

His father's an Australian Shepherd.

A tailless Australian Shepherd.

Steven DeWitt.

His wife mentioned she'd been traveling recently, and how long was she gone?

About three months.

That fits.

While his wife was out of town, he was having an affair with Amanda.

They were "hooking up," you understand?

Uh, yeah.

And while they were hooking up, their dogs were "hooking up."

Everybody and everything, "hooking up."

Do you remember two days ago?

DeWitt showed up to help look for the body.

He was petting Shelby.

He was patting her belly.

He noticed she was pregnant.

DeWitt had a problem.

He knew as soon as we saw these tailless puppies, we'd run a DNA test.

We'd have proof, living proof their dogs had met, which would prove he knew Amanda.

That's why he tried to run her over tonight.

Well, looks like we've got our smoking g*n.

You're just about the cutest little smoking g*n in history.

Look at you. You little dog.

The jury's gonna eat you up.

[Shelby whining] Oh, wait a minute.

I think we have more evidence.

Excuse me.

Here we go, here we go.

Good girl, Shelby. Good girl.

Okay, here comes exhibit "a," "b," "c," exhibit "d."

Oh, another one?

What's the record?

Mm, I think it's 101.

[Laughs] That was the movie.

Right.

That woman again, who was that, coupe de ville?

Ah, Cruella. Cruella, she was bad news.

Monk, this is good scotch.

Where'd you get this scotch?

It was a Christmas gift from the mayor.

Well, thank the mayor for me.

Ah, I think she's done.

And so am I.

Randy, you better drive.

What about DeWitt?

We'll pick him up.

Call Kramer and have somebody go to his house, and put an a.P.B. On his vehicle.

Yes, sir.

What... what do I do?

You get some sleep.

We'll be back to pick you and the dogs up in the morning.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

The puppies, what do I do?

Mr. Monk, you don't have to do anything.

She knows what she's doing.

Bye, Shelby.

Good job.

[Groans]

You have a lot of explaining to do, young lady.

[Doorknob rattling]

You're too late.

She's already had the litter.

What are you gonna do, Steve?

k*ll them all?

I suppose I am.

But I'm a witness, so you'll have to k*ll me, too.

No, don't... don't... don't move.

You just stay where you are.

I don't think you're a k*ller.

I think you loved Amanda.

It was an accident. I believe you.

She fell and hit her head.

That's not m*rder.

It's manslaughter, maybe obstruction.

That's bad, but it could be a lot worse.

Don't make it worse.

Don't make it worse.

It was an accident. I know.

I know it was.

They're beautiful.

I know.

I'll take that one. Okay.

Ooh.

What's his name?

Uh, exhibit "b," but you can call him anything you want.

All right.

Say thank you. Thank you.

We'll take good care of him, we promise.

Okay.

Wait. Wait. Uh, I can't do this.

I'm sorry. I can't split them up.

They have to stay together.

Mr. Monk, I know it hurts, and I know you're thinking about your own family.

With dogs, it's different.

It's not different. They're a family, she's the mother, they have to be together.

Here's the thing. There are five dogs here.

You can't keep them all. You're... You know.

You're you.

I know, I know, I'm me.

How about this?

We'll take all of them. Really?

The whole family...

Including the mom.

We have three acres, it's all fenced in.

They'll love it.

Okay.

Hey, great, I'll get her things.

Anne Marie, you want to help?

Yeah. Okay?

You can visit her anytime.

Uh, how about 2:00?

Okay, 2:00.

You mean, tomorrow?

Every day. [Laughs] Every day?

Okay.

I'll go get her leash.

It's okay.

I know them.

They're a good family.

You'll be happy there.

Never alone, little one.

Never alone again.