03x18 - The Big Bet

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Brady Bunch". Aired: September 1969 to March 1974.*
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A woman with three daughters marries a widower with three sons.
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03x18 - The Big Bet

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Mom! Alice!

Mom! Alice!

Mom! Alice?

Mom! Dad!

Alice?

Mom?

Dad?

Isn't anybody home?

Bobby, I'm on the phone.

Yeah, Rachel, I met you at the
school cafeteria the other day.

No, I wasn't spaghetti
and meatballs.

I was barbecued ribs.

Right! Greg, guess
what happened!

I was sitting right
across from you.

I chinned myself five times!

Brown hair, blue
eyes. Didn't you hear...?

I let you have my rib.
Didn't you hear me?

I chinned myself five times!

Can't you see I'm on the phone?

Yeah, but I'm... I didn't
get a chance to talk to you

because I had to
go to basketball...

I'm the only one in my class

that can do that many chin-ups.

Hold on a second.

That's pretty good
for a kid your size.

But not now... I'm on the phone!

Sorry, Rachel.

Listen, I can't get over
to the library right now.

I'll call you again
tonight, okay?

Bye-bye.

I'm gonna keep practicing.

By the end of the week,

I'll be able to chin seven
or maybe eight times.

That'd be pretty good.

Yeah, that'd be pretty good.

Pretty good?

It's sensational!

Now let's not get carried away.

I can do twice as many chin-ups,

but I don't go around

yelling my brains out about it.

I bet you a million dollars

you can't do twice as
many chin-ups as I can.

I wish you had
a million dollars.

I'll bet you a thousand.

Will you stop being ridiculous?

You're just chicken.

You won't bet me because
you know you'd lose.

Bobby, keep it cool, huh?

Then bet me.

By the end of the week,

you can't do twice as
many chin-ups as I can.

Okay, wise guy, you
got yourself a bet.

Great!

What do you want to bet?

I know.

You have to do everything

I tell you to do
for a whole week.

Okay.

And if I win, you have
to do whatever I tell you.

Right.

It's a bet. Shake on it.

Come on, I'll play
you a game of 21.

I can't... I've got to train

for my big bet with Greg.

What kind of bet?

The loser has to do

whatever the winner tells him

for a whole week.

A whole week? Wow.

What did you bet on?

By the end of the week,

I bet he can't do twice
as many chin-ups as I can.

How many can you do?

How do I know?

It isn't the end
of the week yet.

Hey, that looks pretty heavy.

Don't worry, I can lift it.

Hello?

Hi, honey!

Hi, sweetheart.

Anything good in here?

No. Just a few bills.

Yeah, you can have those.

No, thank you.

Hey, here's something

from Fremont High School.

That's me ol' alma mater.

They want their diploma back.

Yeah, very funny.

Let's see.

Aha, I am cordially invited

to the 20th reunion
of my graduating class

Saturday night.

Oh, that's great.

We're free Saturday.

High school... wow.

That's going way back there.

I wonder if Smasher Duran
will be there. Smasher?

Yeah, we had a bunch
of great nicknames

in high school:

We had Smasher,
Tiger, Porky, Flathead.

Did you have a nickname?

Let's plan on going.

You did have one.

What was it?

That is something
you will never find out.

Well, I will, too.

I can just ask
everybody at the reunion.

Oh, Carol, you wouldn't do that.

Of course I would.

Yes, I think you would.

Hot Lips.

Hot Lips?

Why in the world would
they call you Hot Lips?

Greg, can I borrow
your dictionary?

Sure, help yourself.

Thanks.

How come you're not out
doing push-ups or something?

For what?

The bet you made with Bobby.

Are you kidding?

I don't have to train

to do twice as many
anything as Bobby.

When you win, I hope Cindy
learns a lesson from this, too.

Cindy?

Yeah. Little brothers
aren't the only ones

who can be a pain in the neck.

"Marcia, I can make
my bed faster than you.

Marcia, I can get
dressed faster than you."

I wish I thought of
making a bet with her.

It wasn't my idea.

Bobby insisted on betting me.

I've got some interesting stuff

planned out for
that little character.

Nothing too rough, I hope.

Of course not...
Nothing too rough.

On the other hand,
nothing too smooth either.

What is that?

Oh, I dug out my old
high school yearbook.

Can I see it?

Yeah.

You believe those
senior class pictures?

Oh, I'm going to
see if I can find you.

You found me.

Yeah, I found you.

You're so thin!

Didn't your mother
ever feed you?

Who could eat?

Why?

Well, my whole
senior class year,

I had a wild crush on a
girl named Bobo, see?

Bobo?

Yeah... oh.

You should have seen her... mmm.

That was just her head.

Oh!

You never told me about Bobo.

Didn't I?

Well, that was
just her nickname.

She's right in there.

No, no. Let me
see if I can find her.

What, out of all the
girls in my senior class?

I know what you like.

I'll give you three chances,

and I'll bet you
still can't find Bobo.

It's a bet.

Are you serious?

Absolutely.

And I won't even need
three chances, just one.

What do we bet?

How about the same bet
that Greg and Bobby have?

For one week,

the loser has to do
whatever the winner says.

You have got yourself
a bet... Hot Lips.

Hi. How about a vitamin break?

This stuff will put
muscles on your muscles.

Thanks, Alice.

What's in it this time?

If I told you, you
wouldn't drink it.

Yuck!

I'm not drinking it anyway.

Okay, but Greg always
used to drink this stuff

when he was trying
out for the football team.

Said it made him
strong as a horse.

Hey, that's pretty good.

Thanks, Dad.

You don't want to overdo it

and hurt yourself,
though, you know?

Listen, when you're
through with that exercise,

why don't you try this one?

Like that. See?

That'll help develop
your deltoid muscle.

Gee, I didn't even know
I had a deltoid muscle.

Where is it?

Right there.

That's your deltoid,
these are triceps,

those are your biceps,
and that's your pectoral.

Boy, I'm loaded with muscles!

Yeah, well, you're going to
have to be in shape to b*at Greg.

He's pretty good, you know?

I'm going to be better.

Well, maybe, but you're
going to have to go all out

to prove it, hmm?

I don't know

why you're knocking
yourself out, Bobby.

Greg can b*at you

with one hand tied
behind his back.

Hi.

Hi.

I've really been
working out, you know.

Yeah?

Yeah!

You want to feel the
muscles in my arm?

Nope.

It's only fair to tell you that
I'm up to seven chin-ups now.

Seven?

Wow!

I was thinking...

A guy shouldn't take
advantage of his own brother.

He shouldn't, huh?

No...

and if you wanted, I'd
let you out of the bet...

If you wanted.

Are you kidding?

No way!

By this time next week,

you'll be doing this for me.

Well... you had your chance.

Eight... Come on.

Bobby!

Keep going,
Bobby... You can do it.

Go, Bobby. Look at him.

I think this is his last one.

Attaboy.

Nine... Oh, Bobby, be careful.

Don't overdo it.

That's it.

Come on. Ten...

Come on, Bobby,
I'm rooting for you.

Attaboy, Bobby.

Come on.

Eleven!

11... Wow!

Come on, do 12.

Do 12, come on.

Eleven! You can be
proud of yourself, son.

That's over twice as
many as you did last week.

It was a good try,

but he's still going to lose.

Oh, yeah?

Only if Greg can do 22 chin-ups.

I think I should have bottled

that energy juice I gave him.

One... two... three... four...

Come on, Greg,
I'm rooting for you.

Six... seven...

18... 19...

Come on, Greg, you can do it.

I won!

I won!

I won! I won!

I won! I won! I won!

I thought only
flies had six feet.

I wish he was a
fly... I'd swat him.

Oh, by the way, the
fly sends a message:

After you get through
shining his shoes,

he'd like to have you
wash his sneakers.

Wash his sneakers?!

Yeah. You can either throw
them in the washing machine,

or put them on
and take a shower.

That little...

I'd suggest taking the shower.

It might help you cool off
a little at the same time.

Will you be finished soon?

We have to go to the
library before it closes.

What's that got to do with me?

You're driving us.

I'm not driving
you to the library.

Yes, you are. Bobby said so.

We'll wait in the car.

After you finish that,

Bobby said to
sandpaper his skateboard.

Do you know what
you can tell Bobby?

Sure... that you'll do it.

Hey, hold it, that's
the last piece,

and Bobby decided he wanted it.

Hmm... I wonder what Bobo

could be a nickname for.

Let's see... Bernice Shearer.

Bernice... Bobo?

Sally.

Hmm... Sally.

Sally.

Oh, no, but how could
Bobo stand for Sally?

Betty.

Betty?

Betty!

Bobo... Betty, Bobo, yeah.

Zelda.

Oh, Michael Brady,
that is terrible!

And that is for Sally
and that's for Betty,

and that is for Zelda.

Yeah, Rachel, it's great
seeing you in school,

but I still want
to take you out.

Well, what about a
movie tomorrow night?

Yeah, at the drive-in.

It's a good double bill.

Um...

a science fiction and
a... and a western.

Great, Rachel.

Great. Well, I'll pick
you up about 7:00?


Bye.

Sounds good to me.

What sounds good to you?

A double bill.

Exactly what does that mean?

I'm going with you.

No way.

Remember the bet?

Look... I've taken
out the trash for you,

and I hosed off the patio.

I shined your shoes.

I made your bed,
cleaned your bike.

I even let you b*at
me at checkers

because you told
me to, but that's it.

That's it, understand?

You have to do
whatever I tell you...

That's the bet.

It didn't include
taking you on dates.

It didn't include not.

You welsher.

I'm going to go
tell Mom and Dad.

Mom... Hold it!

Hold it, now, one at a time.

I've got a date... Greg's
welshing on our bet,

and he won't take
me to the movies...

and now he thinks he
can go along with me...

What's all the racket?

Dad, it has nothing
to do with the bet.

Hold it. Hold it!

I didn't hear anything
either one of you said.

That's the third
time I've heard it,

and I still can't figure it out.

Bobby?

Greg's going to the movies
to see two neat pictures,

and he won't take me.

I've got a date with a new girl,

and I don't want the
all-American kid tagging along.

Our bet was that
the loser has to do

everything the winner
tells him... everything!

I've done everything
else, but dates are different!

Greg, if I remember correctly,

the bet did include everything.

Oh, wow... not dates.

Well, look, Greg, it
may seem a little rough,

but when you make a bet,

you have to be
prepared to pay off.

Okay, maybe next
time you'll remember

no bet is a sure thing.

I'll remember, all right.

Okay, okay, I'll
just call off the date.

It's okay with me.

I don't care if she
comes along or not.

Listen, Mr. Chin-up King,

I've done everything
you've asked

fair and square,
but there's no way...

No way are you going
on my date with Rachel.

You're blocking my view!

And I want some more popcorn.

You've already had three bags.

Then I want some pizza.

I'll be back in a
minute, Rachel.

Boy, you can really
see better from up here.

Uh-huh.

Neat movie, isn't it?

Yeah, real neat.

Having fun, huh?

We're having a ball.

You see? I told Greg if I
came, you wouldn't mind.

Here's the pizza you ordered.

And that's all the food you get.

Our bet had nothing to do

with my going broke.

Greg, wouldn't it be nice

if Bobby got in the back
seat to eat his pizza?

Yes, that'd be nice.

Okay.

Shh!

I didn't do that.

Want some pizza?

No.

How about you, Rachel?

It's real good...
Pepperoni and onions.

No. No, thank you.

You guys don't know
what you're missing.

We know what we're missing.

You're blocking my view again.

Come on, Bobby,
stop fooling around.

You're not even
watching the movie.

Neither are you.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't we all
watch the movie?

It's warm in here.

Put the top down.

Put the top... Now, look, Bobby.

You might as well do it, Greg.

What do you think you're doing?

It might rain.

You wouldn't want "sweetie
pie" to get wet, would you?

Now you're just
being a wise guy.

Put that umbrella away!

I told you, it might rain.

Well, if it might rain, then
I'm putting the top back up.

Now you've done it!

Wait till Dad sees this.

Well, I didn't know
anybody there,

but I really had a
good time tonight.

Yeah, it was some reunion.

Ah, boy.

Well?

"Well" what?

Come on, it's time
to settle our bet.

Which one was Bobo?

Well, she was one of the
women there tonight, right?

Right, right, she was there.

Let me see, uh...

Come on, come on, no stalling.

Now you had plenty of time.

Well, okay, I'll
take a wild guess.

Irene Hesselroth.

That's ri... how
did you guess that?

Simple deduction.

Number one, I
know what you like.

Number two, I know
what you don't like.

And number three,

she came over and
introduced herself

and said you used
to call her "Bobo."

Oh, Greg and Bobby must be back.

Hey, I wonder how their big
date with Rachel came out.

I figure it'll cost about 150
bucks for a new top, Dad.

Yeah, well, that's
great. That's just great.

Bobby, how could you do that?

I'm sorry.

I guess I was what
you'd call a little stinker.

A little stinker?

A big stinker.

I'll pay for the new top, Dad.

Well, as Greg said, you know,

a new top is going
to cost about $150.

Well, Greg said he'd pay me a
dollar a week to do his chores.

Oh, great, you'll be doing
his chores for three years.

That's okay. I deserve it.

Well...

we'll discuss the financial
arrangements later.

I hope you've learned
something from all of this.

I sure have.

For one thing, I'll never
bet on anything again

because even if
you win, you lose.

Is that all?

If I can ever boss
anybody around again,

I'll never be mean.

Well, that's good.

Anything else?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot
the most important thing.

What's that?

Well, if you ever go

to a drive-in movie
in a convertible,

never take an umbrella.

Honey, I think I'd like to read.

Would you please get me my book?

It's over there on the dresser.

I just got into bed.

Bobo.

Bobo.

Thank you.

Anything else while I'm up?

No, not that I can think of.

Oh, honey, I think
I need a tissue.

Would you get one for me?

They're right over there.

Bobo.

Bobo.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Anything else?

No, no, that's all.

There is one other thing.

Now what?

You didn't kiss me good night.

Do I have to?
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