♪ What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ♪
♪ Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ♪
♪ Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ♪
♪ I will try not to
sing out of key, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪
- ♪ by with a little help
from my friends ♪
-♪ All I need is my buddies ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ - ♪
try with a little help from my friends ♪
-♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪
-♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
-♪ Somebody who
knows quite sure ♪
♪ Baby ♪
-♪ By with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Said I'm gonna make
it with my friends ♪
-♪ Try with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Oh, I'm gonna
keep on trying ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
♪ I'm gonna keep on
trying now, baby ♪
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
-Never before in this campaign
Was there such an
atmosphere of hatred.
-Everybody knows
politics is a dirty business.
Yet our greatest national heroes
Have always been politicians.
Maybe there's a reason for that.
Maybe it takes a
certain kind of person
To get down in the mud
And come out with the
bricks of statecraft.
After all, in america,
They say any kid can
grow up to be president.
What they don't say... Is how.
In 1970, politics were alive
and well at rfk junior high.
-Okay, everybody...
Fan out.
-Becky slater's campaign
for student council president
Had all the earmarks of
a political juggernaut...
Manpower, funds...
Not to mention people
who could draw straight.
-This is a disgrace.
-Paul.
-An outrage!
The nominations
haven't even closed yet,
And she's giving out buttons.
-Paul, calm down.
-An election with
just one candidate...
How could this happen?!
-Simple. It's becky slater.
Nobody's stupid enough
to run against her.
-This is a democracy. We should
have a choice. Shouldn't we?
-Poor paul...
A lone jeffersonian in
a sea of teenage apathy.
Me... I was more of a realist.
-Paul, it's just a
stupid election.
No one really cares who wins.
-Well, I refuse to accept that.
I'm not gonna vote for her.
-Me neither.
I'm gonna vote for...
Donald duck.
-Very funny.
-If you hate it so much,
Why don't you do
something about it?
-Like what?
-Like run against her.
-Are you nuts? I'd get creamed.
-Hey.
You're either part
of the solution,
Or you're part of
the problem, right?
-Whatever that meant.
-Okay, then. Maybe
I will do something.
-Fine.
-After all, if paul wanted
to rage against the system,
That was his business.
Me... I had other
things besides politics
To worry about,
More important
things, like, say...
Hammering nails into boards.
-Hey, what's that?
-What?
-Is that a lamp or an ashtray?
-Uh... A lamp.
-Actually, it was a towel
rack, but why quibble?
-Looks more like
an ashtray to me.
-Thanks.
-Anytime.
-Maybe I wasn't exactly
god's gift to wood.
That was okay by me.
Like I said, I was a realist.
-Attention, please, for
a student announcement.
The following are the nominees
for student council president.
-Yep, not for me the grandiose
dreams of public office.
-Rebecca slater.
-After all, some were born
to greatness, while others...
-And kevin arnold.
- Had just been
sold down the river
By their best friends.
-You!
Are you crazy!
- Now, kev, look...
-How could you do this to me?
-Easy... I just walked into the
administration office and signed your...
-Yeah, well, walk
back and unsign me.
-I can't do that.
The nominations have
already been announced.
-All right, then
I'll do it myself!
-Look, kev, you're
gonna miss the bus.
Let's just talk
about this first.
-All right, so talk.
-Kev, I've given it
a lot of thought,
And I think you could be a really
good student council president.
- Yeah, right.
- Come on!
I mean, you're a regular guy...
Honorable, ethical, responsible.
Just think about it.
-It was the heartfelt support
of an old and dear friend.
So, of course, there was
only one possible response.
-Paul, get off it, huh?
-Oh, come on!
Give me one good
reason not to run.
-Clearly, it was time
to instruct the guy
In the basics of 9th-grade
political philosophy.
-Because I'd make a
complete fool out of myself,
And I'd be the laughingstock
of the school, okay?
-Okay, then, if that's
the way you feel...
- That's the way I feel.
- Okay, then.
-And that was that.
-Kevin, you didn't tell me
you're running for election.
-Hey, I just mentioned it.
-Yeah, well, forget it.
I'm resigning tomorrow.
-Oh. That's too bad.
I think you'd make a wonderful
student council president.
-Look, winnie...
-Well, why not?
We believe in you.
-That's what I've
been telling him.
-Great.
The support of a trusted
friend wasn't bad enough.
Now I had the love of a
good woman to go with it.
This was getting intolerable.
-Once and for
all, it's a bad idea.
I mean, give me one good reason
Why I should put myself
through something like that.
-Kevin?
-Uh, becky...
-I just came over to
offer my congratulations.
-Well, actually...
-I must say, I'm looking
forward to running against you.
-You are?
-This is gonna be fun.
-What do you mean by that?
-I'm gonna chop you up
into little pieces, kevin.
I'm gonna destroy you.
-Huh?
-Think of it this way.
I always knew you were a loser.
Now everybody else will, too.
Good luck.
-And right then, I
had my first taste
Of what motivates all
really successful politicians...
Revenge.
-What would I have to do?
-Leave everything to me.
I'll organize a
campaign meeting.
-Isn't this exciting?
-We'll get the best minds
in school behind you.
-Oh! Ugh!
Why... Oh!
[Indistinct speaking
on television]
[Laughter]
-These are the best minds
in junior high school?
-Hey, it was short notice.
Besides, these guys
are absolutely loyal.
-Made you wonder
If millard fillmore
started out this way.
-Well, well, well.
Who do we have here...
Losers anonymous?
-Hey, that was my favorite part.
-Never mind. Let's call
this meeting to order.
We're here to elect kevin arnold
as student council president.
Any suggestions?
-And it was time
for the brain trust
To spring into action.
-Wait a minute. I got it.
How about...
"Vote for a scrote"?
[Laughing]
-Wayne, get out.
-Nothing like your basic
grass-roots support.
-Hey, kev?
Do you have any more
potato chips upstairs?
-Yeah, how about a
couple more sodas, too?
-And could you grab some
ring dings while you're up?
-Okay, I've heard enough.
This meeting is officially over.
-Hey, it was just an idea.
-Yeah, look, if you
don't want our help...
-I heard they had fried
chicken at becky's meeting.
-And it might have
all ended right there,
Except...
-Wait. Guys, take
a look at this.
-That's when it happened.
-It's simple, direct,
and to the point,
But I think it might work.
-It was beautiful...
A four-color,
roman-faced testament
To hope and
service and nobility.
Plus, it was the first time
I had ever seen my name
On anything bigger
than a report card.
-Wow.
-And in that moment,
I did what every politician
since time began has done.
I believed my own press.
-Cool.
-Kevin arnold for
president. Take a button.
-Hi. Kevin arnold.
How you doing?
Kevin arnold. Nice to meet you.
Hi. Kevin arnold.
Hope to get your vote.
-So began my campaign for
student council president.
-Anybody want a button?
-Fact is, it was fun,
Getting out and
pressing the flesh.
Not that there
was a lot of flesh
Interested in being pressed.
-Excuse me... Would you
like to meet kevin arnold,
Candidate for president?
-Hey. Nice to meet you, kevin.
-No, no, I meant over there.
-Oh, yeah.
-Hi. I'm running for president.
-Far out.
What are you
gonna do if you win?
-Hmm.
Hadn't had time
to consider that.
-I have a few ideas.
-Great! Like what?
-So, I tried to put
myself in his shoes.
How would he like
his life to be better?
-Well...
I've always thought we should
have a student suggestion box.
-Now, there's an idea.
-Wow!
-Yeah. And the wax
they use on the floor?
It shouldn't be so slippery.
A-and we should have
better locks on our lockers.
And, uh...
The lunches should be longer,
And the periods
should be shorter.
And we should have less homework
And better food in the cafeteria
And nicer teachers.
-And, suddenly, the ideas
were just pouring out of me...
Almost as if I'd
been born for this.
-And a new scoreboard.
-Yep, maybe paul had been right.
Maybe I was the
best man for the job.
Maybe I could
actually win this race
With ideas, concepts,
Forward-looking thoughtfulness.
-And vending machines
with better stuff in them.
[Crunching]
Cuter teachers,
And they should be nicer, and...
-Cool. Free food!
-Vote for becky!
Treats for becky!
Becky's your friend!
-It was then that I learned
My first lesson on
the campaign trail.
Ideas and concepts are nothing
Compared to freshly
baked rice krispie treats.
-[Munching]
-By the end of the week,
one thing was clear...
In the great dark-horse
campaign of 1970,
My horse was running dead last.
Not that we didn't try anything
to get them to notice us.
It's just, while
we were trying...
[Indistinct conversations]
They were noticing
something else.
-Give me a "b"! Give me an "e"!
Give me a c-k-y!
What do you get? Becky slater!
-We'd been outmanned,
outgunned, out-cheerleadered...
Out-slatered.
Not that we were ready
to throw in the towel.
-That's it. I give up.
-What?
-He's right.
She's got better
posters than us,
Better volunteers than us...
Better snacks than us.
-So? We're not doing so badly.
Considering.
-Considering what?
-I-i just think we have
to be patient. That's all.
Sooner or later, people
will start to notice us.
-Excuse me.
You're kevin arnold, aren't you?
The one who's running
for student council?
-Yeah... Kind of.
-Well, I just want
you to know...
You left these on the bus.
-Okay, so rome
wasn't built in a day.
I still think you're the
right man for the job.
-Paul, please,
don't give me that.
There's no way we're
gonna win this thing!
-Facts were facts.
It was time to face the truth,
take my medicine like a man.
-Kevin?
-And the doctor was in.
-I just dropped over to
see how things were going.
-Well...
-I'll handle this.
For your information, becky,
our campaign is going quite well.
-Really? That's odd.
I didn't realize kevin
was still in the race.
-Look...
-Hey, we're doing okay!
-Guys...
-Maybe you'd like me to
throw some votes your way...
Just to make it exciting.
-He doesn't need your
votes, thank you very much.
-Well, don't say I didn't offer.
-And that was that.
It was hopeless.
This race was over.
[Laughter]
Except...
Maybe it wasn't.
[School bell rings]
-All right, everyone,
take your seats, please.
-Okay, maybe I
felt a little guilty
About what had
happened... But not much.
-Today, we continue our survey
of the hundred years' w*r.
-Besides, maybe now we could
get down to a real campaign
Based on real
issues, real ideas.
[Laughter]
["Respect" playing]
-♪ What you want ♪
♪ Baby, I got ♪
-And so began the great
grudge match of 1970.
Over the next few days,
no trick was too cheap...
-♪ Just a little bit ♪
-♪ Hey, baby ♪
- No insult too outrageous.
-♪ Just a little bit ♪
-Pretty soon, though,
things started to get...
Personal.
And as sabotage
led to reprisal...
I came to understand
the true meaning
Of politics in america.
It wasn't about
winning an election.
-♪ Sock it to me, sock it to
me, sock it to me, sock it to me ♪
-It was about destroying
your opponent.
-♪ Just a little bit ♪
-♪ A little respect ♪
-♪ Just a little bit ♪
-♪ I get tired ♪
-Stink bombs?
-For tomorrow... At
the campaign speeches.
-What are you gonna
do with stink bombs?
-Simple.
When becky gets up to
speak, we set those babies off.
-Kapowee!
-As for my brain trust...
They'd finally
found their calling.
-You guys are out of
your minds, you know that?
-Hey, be careful!
-Look, you don't need
this kind of help to win.
What you need is a good speech.
Have you written one yet?
- Well...
-Fact is, I'd been a little
too preoccupied with form
To worry about substance.
-I'm working on it.
-Write the speech, kev.
-Don't worry. I will.
-Except, as it happens...
You won't need to.
Why write your own...
When you can have becky's?
See, amy broadwell copied
it from becky's notebook,
And, you know,
since you speak first,
I figured here's your
chance to steal her fire.
-And there it was, the
essence of politics...
Morally reprehensible...
And a guaranteed winner.
-Wait a minute.
Amy broadwell gave
this to you just like that?
-Well, I had to promise
her a little something...
You know, for
after the election.
-Well, what kind of something?
-Hall monitor.
-We got to talk!
[School bell rings]
-Guess I knew what
he was gonna say.
-You're not actually gonna
use that speech, are you?
-Well...
-Good. I knew I
could count on you.
That's why I nominated
you in the first place.
Do I make myself clear?
-[Sighs] sure.
-And there you had it.
Paul, as usual, was right.
On the other hand...
What did paul know about it?
On the other hand,
It was up to me to
do the right thing.
-[Sighs]
-On the other hand, in politics,
Who's to say what's
right and what's wrong?
There was no turning back.
Not anymore.
[Feedback whines]
-Welcome, everyone,
to the student council
"Meet the candidates" assembly.
-And so, after three
weeks of virtual w*r,
It had come down to this.
-Today, we'll be hearing the
views of our two nominees.
Remember, this is
your opportunity
To weigh the issues
Before you make
your final decision.
-Maybe I should have
been nervous, but I wasn't.
After all, I had victory
in the palm of my hand...
Becky's speech,
my ace-in-the-hole.
-So, you're really gonna do it.
-Hey, mind your own
business, all right?
-If you say so.
-And now, to introduce
our first candidate,
His campaign
manager, paul pfeiffer.
[Applause]
-Mr. Holier-than-thou.
Who cared what he thought?
What was he gonna do about it?
Except, of course,
bust me in public.
-[Clears throat]
students, faculty...
Let me tell you
about kevin arnold.
-Here it came.
-He might not be the most
popular kid in school...
Not the smartest
or the most athletic...
But he's honest...
And true.
He's every man...
The kid without a name
who sits behind you in class,
The guy down the lunch line
who hates green beans, too.
-The funny thing is,
Even though the was standing
in front of hundreds of kids,
I knew he was talking to me.
-Kevin arnold is someone
Who you can count on
to do the right thing.
Kevin arnold...
Someone who I believe in.
[Cheers and applause]
Good luck.
-As I stood at that podium,
A lot of things raced
through my mind,
Things like what
it takes to win...
And what it feels like to lose.
But as I looked at that speech,
I realized what I had become...
Someone I hardly even knew.
And I knew what I had to do.
-[Clears throat]
Students... Faculty...
I hereby resign from the race.
[All murmuring]
-Guess it kind of took
everybody by surprise...
Paul...
Becky...
And, unfortunately, doug porter.
[Glass shatters]
-Stink b*mb!
[All screaming]
-Which only proved
what I'd known all along.
Simply stated...
Politics stinks.
-Like all campaigns,
it's hard-fought,
And I know how hard it is
for the candidate to lose,
And it's very hard
for his family.
Uh, I think they will
come out, however,
Stronger men as a
result of the loss,
If they just don't let
the loss get them down.
-I never regretted
Running for president
of the student council...
Or the three weeks of
detention that followed.
In fact, in many ways, I
was a better man for it...
Even though I lost to a duck.
In any event,
It was time to leave
politics to the politicians,
Let the ship of state sail on.
At least they wouldn't
have kevin arnold
To kick around anymore.