04x20 - The Great Earring Caper

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Brady Bunch". Aired: September 1969 to March 1974.*
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A woman with three daughters marries a widower with three sons.
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04x20 - The Great Earring Caper

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four
men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪

Those sure are
neat earrings, Marcia.

Thanks, darling.

Mother loaned them to me.

Marcia?

Marcia?

Coming, Jan.

What is it?

Phone for you.

A guy named Ted Edwards.

Thanks.

Marcia, can I try
the earrings on?

No. They're Mom's,
and don't touch them.

Grandma gave them to her.

The guy sounded really cute.

What does he look like?

Tall, blond, handsome...
Nothing special.

Oh... I'll bet.

Cindy, are you in there?

I'm coming, Mom.

Honey, I got this on sale.

Let's see if it fits.

It fits fine, Mom.

They have them in red,
green and violet, too.

Which color would you like?

Any color is marvelous.

Boy, one day,
you're going to make

some man awfully happy.

You're a woman
who's easy to please.

See you later.

They're gone.

If you didn't know who I
was, who would think I am?

A candidate for a butterfly net.

Knock it off, will
you? I'm trying to read.

You know something?
You got big pores.

Will you quit bugging me
with that dumb detective kit?

Now what are you doing?

Trying to guess your weight.

You can figure it out with
the sag in the mattress.

You got a sag in your brain.

Why don't you take your
detective kit and get lost?

It's no use.

I'm such a good
detective I'd find myself.

Ow!

Come in.

Peter, have you learned

how to use your
detective kit yet?

Sure.

Good, maybe you can help me.

You want a detective?

Boy, my first case.

Step into my office, ma'am.

What's your name, ma'am?

You know my name.

Look, it's got to be official,
the way the book says.

What's your name, ma'am?

Cindy Brady.

Occupation?

School kid.

Okay, we need the facts,

so start from the beginning

and give me the
facts... Just the facts.

Well, Mom lent
Marcia some earrings

and I wasn't supposed
to touch them, but I did.

Now the earrings are gone.

Mom's earrings?

Boy, are you in trouble.

I know that, and I'm
not even a detective.

Okay, we'll call this "The
Great Earring Caper."

Where were the earrings
last observed, ma'am?

On the bathroom sink.

I'll investigate at once.

Can I help?

Sure. You can be my assistant,

like Dr. Watson was
to Sherlock Holmes.

Great.

Exactly where were they, ma'am?

I put them in this towel.

The towel, huh?

Simple deduction, ma'am.

I've solved the case.

You have?

The earrings
obviously slipped out

from under the towel
and slid down the drain.

Boy, you sure are smart, Peter.

Thanks.

I'll just get Dad's tool kit

and open up the drainpipe.

What a detective.

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Elementary.

Mike? Mm-hmm?

I think I've got it.

Got what?

An idea for the costume party,

unless you've decided
on something that is.

No, no, anything you
decide is okay with me.

Okay, how about
Romeo and Juliet?

Romeo and Juliet?

Oh, honey, can we
be a little more original?

Last year, there
was a whole flock

of Romeo and Juliets.

Oh, well, then why don't you

pick some famous couple?

No, no, no. You pick it.

You're better at
those things than I am.

Okay, how about
Napoleon and Josephine?

Napoleon...

Honey, isn't that kind
of a little unoriginal, too?

Yeah, I guess it is.

Yeah.

How about Gertrude and Claude?

Gertrude and Claude?

What famous couple were they?

I don't know

but it certainly is
original, don't you think?

Oh, look, we're making
a big deal out of this.

Now, you pick it,

and anything you
decide on is okay with me.

Sure, it is.

Well, how did he go
for Romeo and Juliet?

He didn't. He didn't.

Oh. Well, I got an idea, folks.

And it's particularly fitting for
you, Mr. Brady. Yeah? What's that?

George and Martha Washington.

I could be the
father of my country.

With six kids you got
a good running start.

Peter, did you find
Mom's earrings yet?

Not yet.

Cindy, you don't
need a detective.

You need a plumber.

Well, please hurry.

I'm hurrying.

And get back to
your lookout post.

Hi.

Hi.

Marcia, if you want to go
to the bathroom, you can't.

Jan's in there.

Who wants to go to the bathroom?

I just thought I'd let you know,

just in case.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, I thought you
were in the bathroom.

Well, how can I
be in the bathroom?

I guess it must be
Greg in the bathroom.

Bobby, if you want
to go to the bathroom

you can't.

Greg's in there.

Well, who put you in
charge of the bathroom?

I just thought I'd let you know.

Greg's in there.

Greg's in where?

She said you were
in the bathroom.

What are you talking about?

I thought it was you.

I'll try to find out
and let you know.

Who is it?

It's me... Watson.

Well?

They're not there.

Oh, no!

Now, don't panic.

This is when us detectives

have to use deduction.

Please deduct fast.

Okay, now they
weren't in the sink

and they're not
in the drainpipe,

so they must have
been removed...

Chances are by human hands.

You follow me?

Yeah. Just hurry up, that's all.

Okay, every human
hand has fingerprints

and everybody in this
house has human hands.

What does that mean?

It means that no finger
is above suspicion.

What?

Believe me, Alice will
never know what we're after.

We'll get her fingerprints
off the mop handle.

Okay. Shh.

You know something, Alice?

You work too hard.

You should let us do some work.

You want to do some of my work?

Sure. Just relax.

Take it easy for a while.

You kids feel all right?

We'll go mop our bathroom.

Read a good book or something.

They want to help?

Hi, Dad.

Hi, kids.

Dad, we brought
you a glass of milk.

You did?

Well, that's great.

I don't even remember asking

for a glass of milk.

This way you don't have to ask.

Well, that's very
considerate of you.

Go ahead, drink it.

Well, I will when I get thirsty.

You'd better drink it right away

before all the
vitamins in it wear out.

It's good for all your bones.

Oh. Well, in that case I, uh...

better take your advice, huh?

Mm.

Refreshingly good, wasn't it?

Yes, it certainly was.

My bones feel better already.

I hope the fingerprints
turn out okay, Sherlock.

Maybe we should
have worn disguises.

Good sh*t, good sh*t!

Uh... uh-oh.

Hit it.

Got it.

Hey!

What are they doing?

Peter!

Cindy!

We got everybody's fingerprints.

Right. And I just checked them

against the ones in
the bathroom sink.

And what did you find out?

That everybody in the family
has been in this bathroom.

And we still don't know who
took the earrings out of here.

Don't worry.

A good detective always
has more than one plan.

If plan "A" doesn't
work, we go to plan "B."

What's plan "B"?

I don't know.

I'll look it up.

Alice, I'm going down
to the costume company.

I shouldn't be long.

Right, Mrs. Brady.

Alice, do you
remember what I said?

About what?

About picking up after the kids.

They've got to learn
to do it themselves.

Okay, I'll just leave it.

Well, good-bye.

I sure hope I can find

something interesting
for our costumes.

Hey, Mrs. Brady. Yeah?

Would you consider Adam and Eve?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

It's just a little something

to tide me over 'til dinner.

Mr. Brady, I thought

you were watching
your waistline.

I am. And it's getting
easier to see all the time.

Mine, too... everywhere I look.

Mike!

Yeah?

Honey, could you
give me a hand quick?

Sure. Hurry!

What have you
got here? You'll see.

Oh, thank you!

Gosh, they're heavy.

Yeah, well, our costume
problems are over.

We're all set for the party.

What are we going as, ghosts?

Here, I'll show you.
Take that off, okay?

Okay... ah!

Antony and Cleopatra.

What's the matter,
don't you like them?

Sure, but my skirt's
shorter than your skirt.

Ooh! Wow!

Alice, what do you
think of our costumes?

Oh, those are great!

Yeah?

Guess who we're going as.

Sonny and Cher?

Those sure are fancy costumes.

Yeah, your father's got
the legs for them, too.

Tomorrow night,
your mother and dad

are going to be
Antony and Cleopatra.

Yeah, I'm really
looking forward to it.

I'm going to do a
real fancy makeup,

and I think I'll borrow my
friend Pauline's black wig...

Oh, yeah!

Yeah. And I know
just the earrings...

The ones I loaned to Marcia.

Yeah. Want to try
these things on?

Oh, I'd love to.

The earrings.

Oh, no.

Peter, we've got to find

those earrings right away!

I know. I'm reading my manual

on how to solve cases.

But Mom wants to wear them

to that party tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night?!

I guess we better
tell her they're lost.

No, we still have 24 hours,

and I'm learning a
lot from this book.

Like what?

Like suspects.

The person who was nearest

to the scene of the crime

has the best chance
of being guilty.

We've got to question everybody.

All right, but we've
got to do it fast!

Don't panic.

A good detective never panics.

I'm not a good detective.

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing?

I'm waxing my surfboard.

What were you doing
yesterday afternoon

right after school?

I was in my room.

That's right, and your room
is right next to the bathroom.

So?

So hand over the you-know-what.

What's the you-know-what?

If I told you you-know-what,
you'd know what.

Cindy, I'm busy.

I don't even know what
you're talking about.

Then I guess that
makes you innocent.

Hi. How's it going?

How's what going?

Oh, nothing.

Where were you
yesterday afternoon?

What do you mean, where was I?

I was at school, and I
came home, like any day.

What'd you do when you got home?

Why?

Just asking.


I gave Henrietta
a special treat.

It was her birthday.

Birthday, huh?

Did you bring her a present?

Yeah.

Like jewelry?

What are you, some
kind of a ding-a-ling?

What would a hamster
be doing with jewelry?

I'm asking the
questions around here.

What'd you bring her?

I brought her sunflower seeds.

And if you're jealous,

I'll bring you sunflower
seeds on your birthday.

Oh, you're too
dumb to be guilty.

Hi.

Hi.

Where were you
yesterday afternoon

right after school?

Well, I was here...
you saw me...

When I called Marcia.

Why did you call her?

Because that boy
phoned her... Ted Edwards.

Can you prove the phone rang?

Well, can you prove it didn't?

Nope.

Mom and Dad are getting
dressed now to go to the party.

I know. My first case,
and I bombed out.

Some detective.

I couldn't find an
elephant in a bathtub.

You tried.

I better tell Marcia.

Mom's going to be looking
for those earrings any minute.

Wait. There may
be one last hope.

What?

Mom might forget
about those earrings.

Honey, how are you coming?

Cleopatra's having
a little trouble

zipping up the Nile.

Mm-hmm. Let me give
you a hand here, Cleo.

There.

Well?

Boy, I'll ride on
your barge anytime.

You look pretty
wild yourself, Marc.

You know something?
Alice was right...

You do have great legs.

Yeah, I kinda do, don't I?

The knees are a little knobby.

Wait a second.

Hey, let's get Greg
take a picture of us.

Never had a date with the
Queen of the Nile before.

Good.

Hey, wow!

You both look really great.

Thanks. Oh, honey, would you get

those earrings I loaned you?

I want to wear them tonight.

Sure, Mom. They'll look
perfect with your costume.

Cindy, are you okay?

Yeah... but you're not.

You're in trouble.

Me, in trouble?

Why?

You told me not to touch
Mom's earrings, didn't you?

Yeah.

Well, I touched them.

What do you mean?

I not only touched
them, I lost them.

You lost them?

Cindy, Mom wanted them!

Are you sure you lost them?

Positive. That's
why you're in trouble.

What do you
mean, I'm in trouble?

You're the one that lost them!

Yeah, but you're my older sister

and older sisters always
protect younger sisters.

That's your story.

Come on!

Okay, okay, hold it, hold it.

Ready?

Here we go.

And... Did it go off?

Yeah, it sure did.

Hey, how about a romantic one?

Marc Antony and Cleopatra
hugging each other.

All right, but watch
out for that sword.

I don't want to get
grabbed and jabbed

at the same time.

Ready?

One... two...
that's great... three.

I hope you got his legs in.

Mom? Come on.

Cindy has something to tell you.

What is it, sweetheart?

Well... Marcia, did
you find the earrings?

No.

What do you mean,
no? I loaned them to you.

Then I loaned them to
me, and they disappeared.

How could they disappear?

That's a good question.

I've been trying
to cr*ck this case

for some time
now, and I'm baffled.

Oh, Cindy, those are
my favorite earrings,

and I wanted to
wear them tonight.

I'm sorry. Now wait a minute.

Did you take them
outside the house, Cindy?

No, Dad, honest.

I only had them on for a minute.

They must be around
here someplace.

Where'd you lose them?

Dad, are you taking
over the case now?

If you don't mind.

Not at all, but I
got to warn you:

Everybody's got an alibi

and there aren't any clues.

Thank you.

I'm sure they're just misplaced.

Let's see if we can't
reconstruct what happened.

Well, all I know is

I loaned the earrings to Marcia

and have not seen them since.

I put them in my dresser drawer,

and then went downstairs
to take a phone call.

That's when I loaned them to me.

I went into the bathroom
and tried them on,

but when Mom called me

I didn't want her to catch
me playing with her earrings

so I hid them under
a towel on the sink.

I was going to put them

back in Marcia's drawer later.

Hey, wait a minute,
I just remembered.

Do you know when
that must have been?

That must have been

when I went into the
bathroom from the hall.

I took the clothes
out of the laundry bin.

Then I saw the
towel on the counter

so I put it in the laundry bag.

Then I remembered
what Mrs. Brady said

about the kids cleaning
up after themselves,

and I put the towel back.

So if the earrings
were under the towel,

they must have fallen
into the laundry bag.

That's where they must be.

Alice, where is that
laundry bag now?

Well, I put it down for a second
in the hall to get something,

and when I came
back, it was gone.

I know... I took it from there.

What do you mean?

Well, I was starting
to go downstairs,

and I saw the
laundry bag in the hall.

I thought I'd help Alice out,

so I took the laundry
bag downstairs

and left it in the
service porch.

The earrings must
be in the laundry bag

in the service porch.

No, Mike, that's when
I came into the picture.

When I went to the service porch

I saw that the laundry
bag was pretty full.

I figured I'd give Alice a hand,

and I unloaded the laundry
into the washing machine.

Alice, has that load of
laundry been washed yet?

Mrs. Brady, that
was yesterday...

At least three or
four loads ago.

Oh, no!

I never saw any earrings.

Then they still must be
in the washing machine.

Feel anything?

No, not... wait a minute.

I hear something.

Aha... aha!

Where's the other one?

Ah, there's...

Well, what's left
of the other one.

Oh, no!

At least the mystery's solved.

Well, you'll have to
go without them, honey.

Come on. We better get going.

Mom?

I'll promise I'll never
take anything again

I'm not supposed to.

All right, Cindy,

but you and I are going to have

a long talk about this tomorrow.

Good night.

Good night, Peter.

Good night.

Well, that's the end of
the Great Earring Caper.

Peter, do you still
have all those disguises

in your detective kit?

Yeah, why?

Because tomorrow I
don't want Mom to know

which kid is me.

Oh, hi, folks.

You have a good time?

Oh, it was wonderful, Alice!

Hey, did your
costumes win a prize?

No. We came in third.

That isn't bad. Who won?

The Cunninghams.

You'll never guess who
they came dressed as.

Romeo and Juliet.

Nope. Guess again.

George and Martha Washington?

Nope.

Okay, I give up.

Sherlock Holmes and Watson.
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