01x05 - The Cover Up

[bunniefuu]

NEEDLEMAN: (WHISPERING)
Did you come alone?

(WHISPERING) Yes.

What's the password?

Okay. What's the password?
What's the password?

(NORMALLY) Okay. I have no idea.

Psst.

Capital one, two, three,
lowercase four, five, six.

(WHISPERING) Thank you.

(NORMALLY) One, two,
three, four, five, six!

NEEDLEMAN AND SMITTY: Enter, friend.

Welcome to Needleman and
Smitty's vacation door emporium.

I love vacation doors.

That's right.

Each of these doors was personally

rescued by us from the shredder,

and guaranteed to deliver you to

an isolated, human-free destination.

Okay. Oh, please. I can't wait.
Tell me, what do you got?

Who wouldn't wanna chill out

on a cruise to an abandoned
ship in the Arctic Circle?

This vacation sounds cool.

Shut up! I give the sales pitch,
you're the glamour model.

(GROANS)

Transyl-Romania is known
for blood-sucking vampires.

But what doesn't suck

are the deluxe amenities of
this musty, deserted castle.

(GASPS AND SCREAMS)

You'll have a rotten time in this
decaying cabin in the woods.

- (GRUNTS AND YELPS)
- (SCREECHES)

- (GROANS)
- Nah, too fishy. What else you got?

Soak up the sun at this condemned
Caribbean beach resort.

Beach vacation! Yes, yes,
yes! That's the one!

Excellent choice, my good man.

This vacated vacation paradise is yours.

Hold it.

You're so sure that using a door

that was supposed to be shredded

isn't against company policy?

Oh, we don't say
"against company policy".

That's right. We say "debit or credit".

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)


FRITZ: Okay, everybody, are you ready?

'Cause it's time to play...

(IN UNISON) Wheel of
Temporary Supervisor!

Today's my lucky day, Roto.

- Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Yes!
- (PURRING)

Why is my name on there?

When Fritz goes on vacation,

the wheel picks a temporary supervisor.

And don't think I don't see the ambition
in your eyes, College Boy.

You'd just love to have me
under your thumb,

squishing me with your little
temporary supervisor thumb.

- (GROWLS)
- Thumb? What are you...

I've told you, Duncan. I have
no interest in Fritz's job, okay?

- Uh-huh.
- I signed your ridiculous contract.

Right. Like a two-faced charlatan
like you would honor a contract.

- Two-face... What are you talking about?
- Come on. Let's go, wheel!

Mama needs a temporary promotion!

DUNCAN: Yes, yes, yes!

- VAL: Come on, come on!
- DUNCAN: Yes, no, no, no!

- (VAL SQUEALS)
- (GROANS)

- Yes!
- CUTTER: Glad it's not me.

Congratulations,
Temporary Supervisor Val.

Oh, I have so many fun things
planned for my employees.

Mindfulness Mondays, Tamale Tuesdays,

Waffle Wednesdays,
Friendly French Fry Fridays.

What next, yoga? Uh-uh.

Neither me nor my schedule is flexible.

Yeah, yeah, let's hear it for Val.

So much for my humble dream
of being temporary supervisor.

I'll just throw away the only thing

I've ever wanted in
my insignificant life.

- Ah, great.
- (CHITTERS)

- I can't even throw away my dreams right.
- TYLOR: Huh.

Kinda goes against my better judgment,

but I actually feel
a little sorry for him.

Yeah. Yeah, Mom, you know
how you always told me,

"Dreams can come true"? (SCOFFS)

Yeah, well, uh, I learned
today that they can't.

(PURRS)

(VOICE BREAKING) No,
don't cry. Don't cry, Mom.

- (SIGHS)
- I tried my best. I did. I did.

I'll cry for the both of us.

- Uh, Fritz?
- Huh?

Looks like I made an oopsie.

The temporary supervisor is Duncan.

Me? Moi?

(GASPS) The fates have chosen.

Well, uh, Mr. Fritz, sir,

there's no way I can match your robust

managerial skills, blah-blah-blah,

but I will do my best
to make you proud, sir,

and, uh, supervise the team.

(CHUCKLES)

(GRUNTS)

(SINGING) ♪ So I'm waving goodbye ♪

♪ And while I'm gone ♪

I expect you all to maintain
the get-along, MIFTer spirit.

Get Along's my middle name, sir.
Duncan P. "Get Along" Anderson.

Now, you go get yourself a creepy
colada and make some memories!

(SINGING) ♪ I'm getting
sand in my toes ♪

- Have a great time.
- Enjoy.

(SINGING) ♪ And I'll see ya
in two weeks ♪

Bon voyage-e! (CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES MENACINGLY)

Hmm...

Well, well, well. Looks like
I'm now the supervisor.

- "Temporary".
- Supervisor.

- For a limited time. (GROANS)
- Supervisor!

And that means that everybody
has to do whatever I say.

Now, who's under whose thumb,
College Boy? Squishy-squish-squish.

(SIGHS) I hope you did the right thing.

- (DOOR OPENS)
- DUNCAN: (OVER MEGAPHONE) Ahem.

Hear ye, hear ye.

Now presenting his Supervisorship,
Duncan P. Anderson.

Huzzah.

(IMITATES CLOPPING SOUNDS AND SNORTS)

"Dearest Mother, I have
clawed my way to the middle,

and I now command a capable workforce".

- Read that last bit back to me.
- I think I got it.

- Read it back.
- "Dearest Mother..."

- With enthusiasm.
- "Dearest Mother..."

To my supervisory chambers,
and be quick about it.

Chop-chop.

Chop-chop, chop-chop, chop-chop.

Ah.

Hmm. Not good enough,
Roto. It's not good enough.

Well, maybe the fifth time
will be the charm, College Boy.

Up here, College Boy.

Down there, College Boy.
Open your eyes, College Boy.

Here, College Boy.
Over there, College Boy.

DUNCAN: (REPEATING) College Boy!

(TYLOR SIGHS)

Pick up the pace, College Boy.

Mr. Sullivan wants these old
canisters emptied by Friday.

Too bad for you scream power's
a thing of the past, huh?

Boombox!

- (POP MUSIC PLAYING)
- (GROANS)

(HUMMING)

Back on canister duty,
huh? Glad I'm not you.

That job's monotonous.

Drive a monster crazy.

I'll tell you who's crazy. Duncan.

Crazy with temporary supervisor power.

- (GRUNTS)
- Hey, hey, hey, hey! Careful.

You damage the valve of one of these,

even ones with barely any juice,

it'll knock a monster your size
halfway across the room.

Or if you're Duncan-size...

(CHUCKLES)

... all the way across the room.

Just sayin'.

(SCATTING)

(YELPS)

- TYLOR: Oh!
- (CHUCKLING)

Whoops.

(GRUNTING)

You think that's funny, huh,
Mr. Jokester? (YELPS)

Did I do that? I guess I
need better supervising.

Oh, I'll supervise you.

- TYLOR: No. Duncan. No, no.
- What are you doing?

- No, that's... Let go of that.
- (LAUGHING)

Okay, that's a bad idea, Duncan.

- TYLOR: Duncan, let go!
- (SCREAMS)

TYLOR: Okay.

No!

(GRUNTING AND SCREAMING)

TYLOR: Run, run!

- This is your fault!
- My fault?

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Mama!

- (BLABBERING)
- Whoa! Whoa!

Oh.

- Huh?
- High score!

Aw.

- EMPLOYEE MONSTER: Uh-oh.
- Whoa.

What caused that?

Relax, Sulley, relax.
I'm sure it's nothing.

See? Emergency power.
Everything's A-okay.

Mike, Sulley, power's
out in the entire city.

- M.E.R.C.'s on the phone.
- M.E.R.C.?

- M.E.R.C.
- Murray's Eye and Retina Center?

Has it already been six months
since my last appointment?

No. M.E.R.C.-M.E.R.C.,
not Murray M.E.R.C.

Monstropolis Energy
Regulatory Commission.

They're sending an investigator.

So, not Murray?

I'm just being clear.

Oh, no, not him.

That's Argus Blinks. He hasn't
taken a day off in years.

If he finds a problem,
he'll shut us down.

This could be the end of laugh power.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Argus Blinks, M.E.R.C. Investigator.

James P. Sullivan, CEO,
Monsters, Incorporated.

Yes, "Mr. Laugh Energy",
I know who you are.

Is that good or bad?

I am here to determine the
cause of today's blackout,

and whether or not a shutdown or

a change in management is in order.

You'll have our full cooperation, sir.

Full cooperation! Now, if
you could please sign in.

What is this?

That? Oh! (CHUCKLES)

That's my lunch money.

- Or it could be your lunch money.
- (SULLEY CLEARS THROAT)

(SOFTLY) Mike.

Are you trying to bribe me?

(NORMALLY) No, no, of course
he's not. (SOFTLY) Put that away.

That's so silly.

Now by chance, did you happen
to drop these box seat tickets

to the Monstropolis Creepees game, uh,

row double-A, seats one
through three, free food?

Was that possibly yours, by any chance?

- (NORMALLY) Are those my tickets?
- Your office, if you please.

Right this way, sir.

Welcome, sir. Mr. Wazowski wants us

to bribe you with a brand-new...

Not now, boys. Not now.
Excuse the car, sir.

It's "Park Anywhere You Want" Day today.

Hmm...

Here's a . Get rid of the car.

Wait, a . Here's a
, get rid of the car.

You know what? Forget it.
Just get rid of the car.

(BOTH GROAN)

Almost. (GRUNTING)

You got one more up there, kiddo.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Forget that last canister.
It's not goin' anywhere.

Tylor! You're not gonna believe this.

Power's out all over Monstropolis.

A M.E.R.C. investigator is on
his way. Heads are gonna roll...

Whoa. What happened?

- Duncan did it. Me?
- College Boy did it.

- You're in charge.
- It's not about me.

I say you both did it.

- What? It was your idea.
- Yeah. It's your fault.

- You acted on it.
- Not about me.

- It sounds like you're all accountable.
- DUNCAN: Not about me.

So are you. If it wasn't for you,
Duncan wouldn't even be supervisor.

I'm not losing my pension over this.

I'm not losing my sh*t
at the Laugh Floor.

Okay, okay. All right.

The only way to save our jobs
is to hide all the evidence

and make sure nobody
ever finds out the truth.

I don't know, Duncan. Sounds like
you're suggesting a cover-up.

No! Not a cover-up.

Just a thing where we all conspire to

avoid accountability for our actions.

- So, a cover-up.
- (CHUCKLING) No!

Why is this concept so difficult
to grasp? Not a cover-up.

Mr. Blinks, you sure you don't want us

to take you down to the control room?

Not necessary, Mr. Sullivan.

My eyes can see everything from here.

- (SULLEY SHUDDERS)
- Ugh, that's disturbing.

That's comin' from a guy
who's nearly % eye.

My highly-trained inspection orbs
will seek out the malfunction

and report back to me what happened,

- and who is responsible.
- Ugh!

(SQUELCHING)

(SCREECHES)

DUNCAN: It's not a cover-up, okay?

As your supervisor, you're hiding
it from view with a large tarp.

And you, as my subordinate, do as I say!

Why is this supervisor thing
so important to you anyway?

Listen, College Boy. If you
think that bein' supervisor

someday is all I've ever wanted,

and that messin' this up is somehow
gonna crush my hopes and dreams,

then that's, uh, you know...

(SIGHS)

Oh, Duncan, I, uh... I didn't mean to...

It's none of your business.

- Now, get to work.
- Okay, fine.

But once I'm done covering it
up, this cover-up is complete.

DUNCAN: Stop saying, "cover-up!"

Okay, as supervisor, I say we call it,

"Operation Hide All the Evidence

and Make Sure Nobody
Ever Finds Out the Truth".

- TYLOR: Yeah, that's much more covert.
- Yep, covert and secretive.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Mmm-hmm? Mmm-hmm?

(INSPECTION EYE POPPING)

Hmm.

It appears the cause for the
power outage is inconclusive.

Well, I guess you won't be
shutting us down today.

Now, if you just pack up
your creepy-eye suitcase,

I'll gladly show you the way out.

(INSPECTION EYE APPROACHING)

- Just one moment.
- (POPPING)

Hmm. Mmm-hmm?

Yes.

Well, I stand corrected.

I seem to have found those responsible.

As the Facilities Team here
at Monsters, Incorporated,

all of you are in violation of
numerous M.E.R.C. codes,

as eye-witnessed by my eyes.

- And as supervisor, M...
- "Temporary".

Temporary supervisor,
Mr. Duncan P. Anderson,

you are responsible for
the actions of your team.

You should be fired,
or, better yet, banished!

Banished?

- Me?
- Hey, wait.

Come on, it's his first day as
supervisor. Give him a break.

Give him a break?

I've been working non-stop as
a M.E.R.C. official for years,

and no one's ever given me a brea...

(GROANS)

DUNCAN: Is he...

- (RATTLING)
- Oh.

Oh, well. I'll log him
in my accident journal.

- We gotta get rid of the body.
- What?

I mean, check his pulse, obviously.

(GROANING)

- He's alive.
- Oh, hurray.

Aw.

Looks like he finally got his break.

Break. Give him a break.

(GASPS) Good idea, me!

We can hide him in the vacation door!

Oh, of course, yes, vacation
door. Perfect. Right.

- Come on.
- Oh. Okay, this is gross.

Everything's wet. Why is everything wet?

- I'll tie the tentacles in a knot.
- Gross.

Is this the right thing to do?

I'm gonna remain neutral
until I see what happens.

- This is so gross. (GRUNTS)
- The eye is looking at me.

- The eye is looking at me.
- Whoa, oh. Yep, yep, yep.

Almost there, almost there.

And in he go...

Ouch. I felt that. But he didn't.

Come on, let's send him on his holiday.

(GRUNTS)

(SHUDDERS)

TYLOR: Oh, one of his thingies...

- DUNCAN: Goodbye.
- Yeah, there you go.

(MACHINE WHIRRS)

Guys? I am pretty sure
disposing of a body

may be another banishable offense.

That was the only thing we could do.

His work-life balance was
totally out of whack, all right?

- Duncan?
- Right. College Boy is right.

We need to make a pact. None of
us will ever speak of this again.

We take this to our graves.
Nobody saw nothin'.

- Well...
- Nobody saw nothin'!

(CUTTER CLEARS THROAT)

Mmm-hmm?

(SQUELCHING)

Shh!

(WHISPERING) We need to close the case.

(WHISTLING)

BOTH: Close it!

- Ugh! (EXCLAIMS)
- Get those eyes!

DUNCAN: Get it, get it!

- Smash it! Yeah!
- No, no, no, no. (GRUNTS)

Aha!

No, there it goes.

(WHIRRING)

(ROTO GROWLING)

(MUMBLING)

- Aha!
- Yes!

(YELLS AND GROANS)

(GROWLING)

- Incoming.
- (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS AND PANTS)

- Yah! Bleh!
- (POPS)

And problem solved.

Done and done.

Not quite. Fritz is still in there.

Whatever. Fritz ain't coming
back for two weeks.

I'll figure somethin' out.

All right, kiddos, it's been
two weeks. What do you got?

- I got nothin'.
- I got nothin'.

CUTTER: Well, here goes nothin'.

(SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

That was, without a doubt...

the best vacation of my life!

Wow!

I believe it, Argus. 'Cause you
really needed to unwind.

- Mmm-hmm. Hmm.
- You're very wound.

So, uh, you're doing okay?

I'm more than okay.

Sipping creepy coladas,
napping beneath the palms,

cha-chaing the night away.

(SINGING) ♪ Cha-cha-cha-cha... ♪

Argus? You're still here?

Yeah, I thought you left two weeks ago.

Oh, no. I took a little time off.

I have your MIFT crew to thank.

You are welcome. And that is
the last we will speak of it.

Well, of course, I will be
writing all of you up,

but just a warning this time.

Goodbye, Mr. Laugh Energy.

(SINGING) ♪ Cha-cha-cha-cha-uh-uh... ♪

(SIGHS) That was too close.
We were nearly shut down.

You caused a major power outage,
conspired to cover it up,

and if that weren't enough, attempted
to bribe a M.E.R.C. official.

- Mike, that was you.
- Stay on point, Sulley, stay on point.

Is all this true?

Duncan?

(SIGHING) Yes, sir.

Oh, this is all my fault.

I tipped the wheel so that Duncan
could be temporary supervisor.

Well, regardless of how he
became temporary supervisor,

it all happened on your watch, Duncan.

And any of these accusations
is grounds for dismissal.

Dismissal?

Um...

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

Temporary supervisor's, uh...

(SNIFFLING) Well, he's gotta go
down with his temporary ship...

I guess.

(GULPS AND CLEARS THROAT)

So, uh, Mr. Sullivan, Mr. Wazowski...

I'm sorry, I...

I'm the one that caused
the outage, okay?

Duncan, he was just trying
to be a good supervisor.

So if anyone deserves
to be dismissed, it's me.

- The truth of it is...
- Yeah, well...

No, no, no.

The power outage and, you
know, all the other stuff,

that was my fault, too.

Though I am significantly
less at fault than him.

Hmm. I am so proud of you two.

Not only have you displayed
that get-along, MIFTer spirit,

you've shown that you're
willing to sacrifice one another.

BOTH: "Sacrifice for one another"?

That, too. So, Mr. W, Mr. S,

what do you say we
forget all the dismissal

jumbo-mumbo-bumbo-bimble?

Speaking of dismissal mumbo jumbo,

what about that "against
company policy" vacation door?

Taken care of, Sulley.
I'm having it shredded.

Mr. Wazowski, we're here to take
the vacation door to your office.

Our office?

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

"Knock-knock".
(DEEP VOICE) "Who's there?"

(NORMALLY) "I". (DEEP VOICE) "I, who?"

"I am here to teach you
about knock-knock jokes".

You see how easy that is?

A simple knock and response
leads to laughter.

Yes, Chuck, question?

Uh, yeah, shouldn't there be a door?

No. That's the beauty of
it. No door is required.

Well, then what do you knock on?

You don't knock on anything.

- I'm confused.
- It doesn't make sense.

It's simple. (CLEARS THROAT)

I say, "Knock-knock". And
you respond, "Who's there?"

Why would I ask who's
there? I can see you.

You're standing right in front of us.

- That's why you need a door.
- Or some sort of barrier.

Yes, yes! You need a door.

You don't need a door, okay?
You don't need a door.

I say, "Knock-knock".
You say, "Who's there?"

I say something like, "orange".
You say, "Orange, who?"

But you're not orange,
you're clearly green.

That doesn't seem like a joke.

This is a classic setup. It's
"Knock-knock". "Who's there?"

- You're asking me to lie to kids.
- He's right.

Knocking on a fake door,
misrepresenting yourself.

- It's all very suspect.
- I don't like lying to kids.

- Yeah, that's against company policy.
- Don't make me lie.

It's okay, Chuck.

We just won't answer the door,

no matter how much he fake
knocks and lies about who he is.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I can't take it anymore.

It's just a simple thing.

"Knock-knock". "Who's there?"

That's how it works. It's called humor.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

DUNCAN: Hey, Ma. We're gonna
make it. It's gonna be okay.

I know you were dependin' on that
temporary supervisor money comin' in.

No, I love you, too.

Turn up your hearing aid, Ma!