-♪ What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ♪
♪ Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ♪
♪ Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ♪
♪ I will try not to
sing out of key, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, baby, I get by ♪
- ♪ by with a little help
from my friends ♪
-♪ All I need is my buddies ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ♪ - ♪
try with a little help from my friends ♪
-♪ Whoa-oa-oa-oa ♪
-♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
-♪ Somebody who
knows quite sure ♪
♪ Baby ♪
-♪ By with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Said I'm gonna make
it with my friends ♪
-♪ Try with a little
help from my friends ♪
-♪ Oh, I'm gonna
keep on trying ♪
-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪
♪ I'm gonna keep on
trying now, baby ♪
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
-Primitive man.
Hunter, toolmaker...
[Elephant trumpets]
Slayer of mastodons.
Armed with only his
instincts and a spear,
He roamed the earth in tribes.
[Laughter]
-In a lot of ways,
High school boys are
a lot like primitive man.
[Laughter, elephant trumpeting]
They forage for their food.
They fashion crude tools.
And, of course, they
hang out in groups.
-Hey.
-In fact, about the
only difference
Between my friends and
neanderthal man was...
-[Clears throat]
Any questions?
- Neanderthals
had bigger brains.
[School bell rings]
[Indistinct conversations]
-Listen, you guys want to, uh,
sh**t some hoops after school?
- Oh, yeah, count me in.
- Got it.
- Hey, kev, you playing?
- Sure. Of course.
-The tribe... That year
we were inseparable.
We'd faced all the challenges.
-Kevin!
-All but one, anyway...
Women.
-Uh, look, guys, I got to
take a rain check, okay?
[School bell rings]
-Julie aidem... We'd been
going out for two weeks.
And to put it mildly...
-Carry my books?
-Sure.
-You don't mind?
-You kidding?
- She appreciated the
little things about me.
-You know, you have
a really cute laugh.
-Really?
[Chuckles]
-She liked my laugh.
-I thought about you today.
-Yeah. I was thinking
about you, too.
-She thought about me...
Lots.
-I thought that you'd
look really good in stripes.
-No kidding?
-Yeah, with the collar up.
You know, it'd really suit you.
-That was julie.
She watched over
me, took care of me,
Civilized me.
-How's that?
-So much better!
-Let's face it... She
was good for me.
And if that wasn't enough...
-Hey, julie. Hey, kevin.
- She had a great dad, too.
-How's the car
coming, mr. Aidem?
-How many times I have
to tell you to call me ben?
-Ben.
-Well, finally got that
carburetor problem solved.
Now she's ready
for a little spin.
-I admired the guy.
He had hobbies. He was funny.
A real man's man.
-Honey, did I hear you say
You were going to take the
sports car out for a drive?
-Thought so, yeah.
-You remember our agreement.
You only drive the sports
car on the weekends.
-Well, I don't know
what got into me.
-A man's man who was
surrounded by women.
-He'd be off driving it
day and night if I let him,
Wouldn't you, ben?
-Not that julie's mom
Wasn't every bit as
fun-loving as her dad.
-Hey, kevin, why don't
you stay for dinner?
-I'd love to, june.
-She was just more... Civilized.
-I mean... Mrs. Aidem.
[Ting!]
-After all, like mother...
[Ting!] Like daughter.
-Come, kevin.
[Dog barking]
-Down, pooh-pooh.
-All in all, it was
quite a household,
Filled with doilies
and lace curtains
And, of course, pooh-pooh.
-Quiet, pooh-pooh, quiet.
-I don't get it, daddy.
You're the only one
that pooh-pooh barks at.
-That's because
pooh-pooh loves him.
-Yeah, daddy.
Pooh-pooh loves you.
-The aidem family was
a model of decorum.
There may have been
a reason for that.
-Oh, ben, the salad fork.
-The girls outnumbered the
boys by a ratio of four to one.
Five to one if you
counted the pooch.
-So, kev, who do you
like for the world series?
-Uh, I don't know.
I think I like the tigers
or maybe the cubs.
-Oakland's gonna knock
everyone else on their butts.
- Daddy!
- Daddy!
-Ben!
-Oh, sorry.
Not at the dinner table.
-Still, I had to
admit, I liked it there.
It was nice being
in a civilized home...
-Oh, ben, fix your collar.
[Dog whimpers]
- A home where people
actually said "please"
And used butter knives,
As opposed to, say...
-Thank you.
[Rooster crows]
- The arnold house.
We were a house of men...
-[Slurps]
- A house of slobs...
-[Belches]
- A house of hunters.
-[Burps]
-[Burps]
[All burping]
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
-Fortunately, as it happened,
There had wandered
into our camp one person
Who did her best to look
out for our best interests.
-Kevin, I thought you
hated that striped shirt.
-Me?
No, I saw it in my closet,
and I think it suits me.
-Well, why is the collar up?
-Well, it just so happens
That some people like the
way this looks, butt-brain.
-Oh. What people?
-None of your business!
-Julie.
[Chuckles]
-Who's julie?
-No one.
-She's got you on a pretty
short leash there, huh, kev?
-This from a guy whose
last successful relationship
Was with a nose-hair clipper.
-At least I got a girlfriend.
-You're running over to her
house every, uh, single day.
-I for one think julie's
very good for you, kevin.
Jack, look how nice kevin looks.
-Why's your collar up?
-[Scoffs] I'm out of here.
-Hey, no sense explaining
myself to these cretins.
-Hey, butthead...
Make sure your
seams are straight.
-After all, why wallow in
abuse when I could have...
-Milk and cookies.
-Terrific. Thanks.
-Yeah, this was the life...
Catered to, coddled,
taken care of.
-So, did you miss me?
-You just went upstairs
to get some cookies.
-I missed you.
-Well, yeah.
Yeah, of course I missed you.
-Still, at 2 1/2 weeks
into the relationship,
It was beginning to occur to me
That civilization was not
without its discontents.
-What are you thinking?
-She asked me that a lot.
-I'm thinking... These
are great cookies.
-Well, tomorrow,
I'll make brownies.
-Tomorrow?
-Hello?
[Door closes]
-Oh, daddy must be home.
-Anybody down here?
-Daddy...
-Hey, ben.
-Hey, kev. How you doin'?
New muffler... Check it out.
-Well, it's great, daddy.
[Pooh-pooh barking]
-Oh, yeah.
Let me get something
out of my toolbox,
And I'll get out of your way.
-Hmm.
-Daddy! Look what you're
doing to pooh-pooh!
You're hurting her feelings!
-Oh, I don't know
what got into me.
-Well...
I'll go get her a biscuit.
-And suddenly, the
thought struck me
This guy might appreciate
a little male bonding.
-So, ben, this is a... Great
cellar you got here.
-Yeah, a few too many
nylons for my taste.
-Oh. Yeah. Me, too.
[Barking continues]
That's some dog.
-She's no duke.
-Duke?
-I got the biscuit!
Pooh-pooh, I love you so much!
-I'll tell you about
duke some other time.
Sorry, honey.
-And there you had it.
-Did you miss me?
-So much for guy talk.
-Yeah. Of course I missed you.
-And we were back
to milk and cookies.
-Well, I really got
to get back home.
-But you're coming over
tomorrow afternoon, right?
[Ding!]
-'Course.
I wouldn't miss
it for the world.
-I thought you were
gonna be playing ball
With us this afternoon!
-I was. I just made
these... Kind of plans.
-What plans?
-Nothing.
I was... Just
gonna go over to...
-Ju-lie's house.
-Well, we were gonna
play three-on-three.
-Okay. No problem.
I'll be there.
-Yeah. Right.
-And that's when
I felt a cold chill.
-What?
-Man, she is really
smothering you.
-What are you talking about?
-But I guess I knew.
It was written all
over their faces.
-Look.
Guys, I can do
whatever I want to do!
I'm playin' ball! I don't
have to ask anyone!
No one's gonna stop me!
-There. I'd faced the tribe.
I'd made my stand.
-Hi, kevin.
-Just one little problem.
-I missed you.
[Ding!]
-And maybe that's
when I began to realize...
The undeniable truth.
Julie aidem had me
on a very short leash.
-Primitive man derived
his power from the tribe.
But occasionally, one of its
members betrayed the rest.
Soon, this lone hunter
was set adrift from the pack,
Cast asunder,
shunned, and ostracized.
-So, we gonna play some
football this afternoon?
-Yeah, I'll be there.
-Yeah, me too.
-By the next day,
one thing was clear.
-Hey, guys, what
time are you playing?
-Did you guys hear something?
-Not me.
-In my tribe, my name was mud.
Still, I had one skill
primitive man did not.
-Come on, guys!
-I could whine.
-What?
-I want to play!
-Look, kev.
You bailed on us yesterday.
-And you didn't even tell us.
-Well, i-i got tied up.
It was an emergency.
-It was julie, wasn't it?
-It was one time.
I promise it'll
never happen again.
Please?
-And with that,
I'd bared my soul,
Thrown myself on
the mercy of the tribe.
And they, in turn,
pronounced their verdict.
[Elephant trumpets]
-What the hell?
-And so, that
afternoon, I was reborn.
A few hours with the guys,
and I remembered who I was.
Kevin arnold.
Runner. Passer.
Hunter.
Warrior.
-I got it! I got it!
-Get him! Get him!
-All right!
-And it felt good.
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Yeah!
-All right!
- Hey, way to go.
- Yeah!
-Yep.
-Hey, mom.
-By the time I got
home, I was a new man.
-Kevin? You have a visitor.
-Aaaaaah!
-Hi, kevin!
-Hi.
[Ding!]
I wasn't expecting you.
-Julie and I were just...
Getting to know one another.
-I-i was just worried
about you, kevin.
-Isn't that sweet?
She was just worried
about you. [Chuckles]
-So, julie, w-what's going on?
-Oh, nothing.
I thought you were
coming over today.
-Isn't that sweet?
-Mom.
-Oh.
I'll just leave
you two together.
See you later, julie.
-Hope so, mrs. Arnold.
-Isn't that sweet?
-Okay.
It was clear we'd reached
a critical juncture.
-Julie?
-Yes, kevin?
-It was time to set ground
rules, here and now.
-Well...
Every once in a
while, guys just...
You know, got to hang
out with other guys.
-And there it was.
Gentle, but somehow firm.
-I guess you forgot
what today is.
-Today?
-It's our three-week
anniversary.
-It is?
-I got you a gift.
[Giggles]
-Oh, geez.
-You did?
-Open it.
-Made you wonder if they
knew how to gift-wrap crow.
-Do you like it?
-Well... Yeah!
I-i love it!
It's great! It - it's...
-Striped.
-Striped!
-You know, kevin...
If you want to be with
the guys sometimes...
I understand.
-No, no. That's
not it. I-it's just...
-I wouldn't want you to
feel like I'm smothering you.
-No! Don't be ridiculous.
You're not smothering me.
-'Cause if you don't think
we're right for each other...
-No, julie, I definitely think
we're right for each other.
-Oh, that's what I think, kevin!
-And right about then,
something went wrong.
-So maybe it's time we
made more of a commitment.
-A commitment?
-Oh, kevin! This is so exciting!
I can't wait to tell
everyone we're going steady.
First we have to tell
mommy and daddy at dinner.
-And suddenly, somehow...
I...
Was going steady.
[Door slams]
Not that I'd actually agreed
to anything, you understand...
Not technically, anyway.
Still, that night
outside julie's house,
I knew I didn't have the
courage to turn back.
-Hey, kev!
I hear there's gonna be a
little announcement tonight.
-Great. The whole family knew.
And not only that, now we
were gonna have "the talk"...
The father-of-the-bride speech,
About the birds,
about the bees...
-Duke loved nights like this.
- About... Duke?
-Was duke your dog?
-Duke was a hell of a dog.
[Pooh-pooh barking]
[Chuckles] not like
pooh-pooh back there.
Duke was a black
lab... 80 Pounds.
He was so full of fun
and so full of spirit.
He was a real man's-best-friend
kind of dog, you know?
Duke wasn't afraid of anything.
-I could tell duke was more
than just a dog to this guy.
-What happened to him?
-Ran away the day
I proposed to june.
Well, I still think
about him, you know?
You know, every now
and then... At night,
I swear I can still
hear duke's howl.
-Ben! Dinner!
[Barking continues]
-Come on.
-That night, I did my best
to forestall the inevitable.
-Kevin.
-Uh...
Terrific pot roast, mrs. Aidem.
-Thank you, kevin.
-But then, I supposed
they don't call it
"The inevitable" for nothing...
-Kevin, don't you have an
announcement to make?
- At least not around
the aidem household.
-Uh... Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
[Sighs]
-Wait, kevin. I think
you should stand up.
-And so, we'd arrived...
At the last exit,
the final whistle...
-Well...
- And that's when it happened.
-Honey, fix your collar.
-It was... Weird.
[Pooh-pooh barking]
-Pooh-pooh, stop that!
-I thought pooh-pooh
only barked at you, daddy.
-It was horrible.
-Down, pooh-pooh, down!
-It was amazing.
Almost as if pooh-pooh knew
I was about to join
the ranks of aidem men.
[Barking continues]
And then, from out of nowhere...
I swear I heard it.
[Dog howling]
It was a clear and clarion call.
And I knew what I had to do.
-No!
-It was now or never.
-Julie, I can't do this.
I just can't!
I like wearing my collar down!
And I hate wearing
striped shirts!
And I don't like cookies!
I don't want to spend
every minute with you!
I like hanging
out with the guys.
I'm a hunter and a warrior.
And what about the mastodons?
-Okay, maybe I got a
little carried away
About the mastodon thing.
But I wasn't just
speaking for myself.
I was speaking for
all mankind, for ben,
And even for duke,
wherever he was.
-I just... I can't do it, julie.
We can't go steady.
-[Gasps]
-And then it was over.
Except for one thing.
-I think you better go, kev.
-Good idea.
-Man... Fire maker...
Toolmaker...
Thinker of complex thoughts...
Noble, curious, dignified.
-Over the next few
weeks, I rejoined my tribe.
[Indistinct shouting]
And in a lot of ways, I
was back where I belonged.
-All right!
[Horn honks]
-All right, guys. Come
on. Let's go, let's go.
-I'll be right back.
-Still, I guess I knew
There was still some
unfinished business,
Between ben and me at least.
-Hey, ben.
-Hey, kevin.
I thought that was you.
You look pretty good out there.
-Thanks!
So... How's julie?
-Oh, she found a new
guy. They're going steady.
-[Scoffs] no kidding.
-Yeah, he looks
great in stripes.
-I bet.
Hey, you got the car
out on a thursday, huh?
-Yeah, I thought
I'd go a little crazy.
-And in a way,
I couldn't help thinking I
had something to do with it.
-Well... It was nice
seeing you again.
-Hey, kevin.
One day, you're gonna see.
-What's that?
-It's not that bad...
Having people who
care for you, you know?
-I guess ben
understood something.
Something I'd learn... In time.
-Come on, kev. Let's go.
-Thanks.
I'll keep that in mind.
-But me?
I was just a 16-year-old guy.
And the way I saw it...
There were still a lot of
mastodons yet to be slayed.
- Break!
- Break!
-Okay, come on. Let's go.
-Okay, you guys.
[Horn honks]
[Barks]
[Dog howling]
[Pooh-pooh barks]