♪
[CHURCH BELL RINGS]
WACKNER: Who's that? He looks familiar.
That is Armie Hammer.
- He starred in Lone Ranger.
- How old is he?
No, not the old one.
This was a remake just a few years ago.
- WACKNER: What was his issue?
- CORD: Cannibalism, allegedly.
Bite play, stuff like that.
So how was he canceled?
He got dropped from movies,
from the stage.
- His agents dropped him.
- What are we talking about?
- You're late.
- Sorry. I had paperwork.
Well, you just have to listen
and catch up, won't you?
God, are you in a bad mood?
Nope, I just know you're
gonna disagree with me.
- MARISSA: Oh, no. Are you serious?
- DEL: What?
You're gonna clear these guys?
No, they're-they're not all just guys.
Really? Where are the women?
I got one right here.
I spotted one...
Yep, Henrietta Michaels,
former Professor at Northwestern.
She was fired for using a word
which was misunderstood by her students.
She wants to defend herself on TV
so she can get her job back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That sounds like good TV.
So four dozen guys accused
of r*pe and harassment,
- and one woman.
- Oh, come on, Marissa.
People are getting canceled
without a trial,
no evidence presented against them.
- Because they did it.
- Maybe they did, maybe they didn't.
or maybe it's more nuanced.
Oh, my God, you sound
like that Canadian guy.
The one who wrote
the book about that thing.
If I knew what that meant,
maybe I'd be offended.
You want to play cancel-culture cop.
No. I want to play judge.
- [LAUGHS] Oh, my God.
- Think about it.
There are lots of reasons these
accusations never go to trial.
The victims finally get to
accuse the victimizer
face to face.
- What if they don't want to?
- That's their choice.
And the victimizer
gets the court to himself?
To say whatever bullshit he wants.
This is a bad joke.
- You're undercutting MeToo.
- No, no,
- no, we're giving MeToo teeth.
- CORD: That's right.
If it relies on mob rule,
it'll exhaust itself.
Okay. All right. Mom, Dad, please.
I hate when you fight.
Let's get back to work
Who's up first?
- Who's this guy?
- Oh, uh. Joey Battle.
- Stand-up.
- Oh, God, you mean Louis C.K. Two.
- What'd he do?
- CORD: He masturbated
in front of two women in a green room.
To be fair, he did ask
for permission first.
Seriously? If he did,
he didn't wait for a "yes."
But he did not as*ault anyone.
Oh. Are we really setting
the bar that low?
Let's compromise. We'll do both.
- Both?
- Yeah, this guy and, uh,
Marissa's idea.
The academic, uh,
Henrietta what's-her-name.
- CORD: Henrietta Michaels.
- That wasn't my idea.
When can we start?
DEL: You really think
there's time to do both?
WACKNER: We'll make the time.
Let's just schedule it.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
WOMAN: That's my time, guys.
Thank you very much.
June, you were great.
The drinks are watered down,
so I know you're not drunk.
No. You're funny.
It's just this club sucks.
Is this about Joey Battle?
How'd you know?
Reporters are the only ones
who approach me nowadays.
I'm not a reporter.
The last time I spoke out
about Joey Battle,
this happened to me.
I mean, I was on my way
to a serious career,
and that scumbag derailed me.
Not just off the tracks,
like buried under them.
By testifying, you'd get the truth out.
Did you say "truth"?
I thought we were talking
about a reality TV show.
Millions of people could see it.
I mean, I don't even know
the whole truth.
When the story about Joey
was about to break,
he reached out to me on Facebook.
And you know what he said?
He said, "I'm sorry for shoving
you into a closet."
He shoved you into a closet?
No, with me, he just
jacked off into a plant.
I can't help but think, though,
"who did he shove into a closet
and what happened to her?"
So you should testify against him.
- Bring that out.
- This is just another way for Battle
to get his career back.
I'm not participating in that.
What if it wasn't?
What if he was actually
confronted with his crime?
It'll never happen.
People like Battle win.
People like me lose.
But, you know what?
This is my consolation prize.
His Wikipedia page.
He's no longer the comedian saint.
Now he's Mr. Masturbater
in the greenroom.
[SIGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
Who's defending Battle?
The comedian? David is.
David Cord. Why?
He's a lawyer.
My guess is he wants to
make an issue of cancel culture.
Then I want to prosecute him.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna rip him a new one.
- David or the comedian?
- Both.
Oh, that's the spirit.
What about the other case...
The, uh, academic lady?
That's different.
She shouldn't have been fired.
No, you want to prosecute one,
you have to prosecute the other.
- Why?
- Because I'm unpredictable.
Haven't you heard?
It's about cancel culture.
- Have to explore all sides.
- I don't want to explore all sides.
Well, this isn't about what you want.
Let's go into court.
MAN: Nobody move! Get
down! Get down on the ground!
Get down! This party is a violation
of COVID quarantine rules!
Turn that f*cking music off!
[LAUGHS] Did you see that?
MAN: Is something funny here?
What the hell's so funny?
- WOMAN: Nobody said anything.
- Come here!
LIZ: Ms. Farrow, where was this taken?
At a friend's house party.
It was a great day
until somebody called the cops.
And the cop that arrived was, uh,
Officer McFinley, yes?
Yes.
MCFINLEY: Get down. Get down over here!
WOMAN: Ow! Hey, let me go.
- I didn't do anything wrong!
- Get down!
- Ow! Let me go.
- Get the f*ck down!
- Ow! Ow, you're hurting me.
- Stay down!
- Ow!
- Get down! Stop resisting.
- [GRUNTING] Stop!
- [SCREAMING, WHIMPERING]
- [TASER CRACKLES]
- [PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
MCFINLEY: No...
What happened next?
I ran to her.
She wasn't breathing.
When the paramedics arrived,
she was dead.
You know that Antoinette's
family is suing the Chicago PD
for five million dollars?
Yes.
If it were up to me,
it'd be ten times that.
Thank you, Miss Farrow.
[SNIFFLES]
AMY ANN: Miss Farrow, I'm-I'm so sorry
for the loss of your friend.
You were good friends, weren't you?
We were.
So you knew she had a heart
condition? Tachycardia.
- Can you tell us...
- Objection, Your Honor. That has
- Objection. Under the eggsh...
- nothing to do with what we're...
Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're
on the same side, you two.
Your Honor, under the eggshell
doctrine, it is irrelevant
whether Antoinette
had a heart condition.
What does matter is that the
defendant caused the injury.
Your Honor, we would argue
that the stun g*n
wasn't the true cause of death.
Her heart condition was.
Okay, well, good for you two.
You both got your statements
out to the jury.
Overruled.
The defense may argue causation.
- Please continue.
- Ms. Farrow,
did Antoinette's heart condition
mean she was supposed
to avoid overexertion?
She had a heart arrhythmia,
but she was careful.
That cop put , volts through her.
Right, that cop.
Let's talk about that cop.
Ms. Farrow, this is your
Instagram profile, isn't it?
- Object-Obj...
- Objection.
- Okay. Give me a hint, Counselors.
- Relevance.
- This is inflammatory.
- Okay, okay.
So, what is going on over there?
Do you need separate tables?
- No, Your Honor.
- Just objection.
You must know what's coming,
because I don't. Overruled.
On Instagram, you quote
these rap lyrics,
"f*ck the cops like p*rn stars,
keeping us caged behind bars."
Objection, Your Honor.
It speaks to the witness' bias.
To quote rap lyrics? No.
No. That shows the counselor's racism.
Oh, that's right, everything
you don't like is r*cist.
The Supreme Court ruled
that rap lyrics can be
- considered criminal evidence.
- No, they merely declined to reverse.
And you're going one step further
to damn someone who quotes the lyrics.
- I'm not damning.
- Okay, I'm-I'm gonna talk now.
I don't like this like this line
of reasoning, Counselor.
I have quoted Johnny Cash's song
about sh**ting a man in Reno.
Does that go to my character?
I hope not.
Sustained. Let's move on.
Professors expect students
to be respectful.
I don't think it's too much to expect
that our teachers
be respectful in return.
Okay, got it.
And that irritated you?
It more than irritated me.
I-I found the word offensive.
So you decided to call Professor
Henrietta Michaels out?
Well, I just reported it.
I mean, the word is self-explanatory.
- It's a triggering word.
- Here's the text of your tweet.
Can you read it for His Honor?
"How does Professor Michaels
think it's okay in
to use a word so similar to the N-word?"
So, at this point, I think we
need to talk about the word
itself and how we're gonna
continue to refer to it.
Our handy graphics team at Copy Coop...
% off on all large orders
until Friday...
has put the word on our display.
That's the word.
I feel like a little duck
should come down.
"You say the magic word,
you collect a $ ."
Sorry, millennials,
you can look that one up.
Anyway, from now on,
I think we should refer
to the word as...
um...
I don't know. Thoughts?
N-word-ly?
- Inelegant, but sure.
- CORD: Uh, Your Honor,
defense feels that
any euphemism for the word
in question, uh,
biases the court against
my client's honest use of said word.
"Said word?" Seriously?
- It's powdered-wig time, my friend.
- Oh, no. Your Honor, really?
No obtuse use of language or Latin.
You know the penalty.
Thank you, Dean.
Very becoming. Since I am the court,
I will swear to you,
I will not be biased by said word.
"N-word-ly" it is.
Go ahead, Prosecutor.
And you found her use of that word...
- notice I didn't say "said word."
- Always in awe, Counselor.
You found it offensive?
Yes.
Good. I think that's it.
No more questions.
- De lege lata. That was a joke.
- I don't care.
- That's why we have two. Dean.
- No, no, no,
- that was a joke, I... No.
- Come on, Marissa.
CORD: Now, Camille,
you are aware the word...
- What is it?
- N-word-ly.
N-word-ly... you are aware
that it simply means "stingy"?
- Right?
- CAMILLE: Yes.
And that it comes from
an Old Norse word,
"nigla," meaning "poor"
and it has the same root
as the word "niggle"?
- Yes.
- So, if Professor Michaels
had said the word "niggle"
- would you have felt offended?
- No.
- Why not?
- It wouldn't sound like
- the "N-word."
- So it doesn't matter
that the word in question
has no racial connotations whatsoever?
CAMILLE: Given how it sounds,
the word definitely
has racial connotations,
whether you're prepared
to acknowledge that or not.
But the etymology
of the word is non-racial.
I'm not an expert in etymology,
but I do know something about
people using the N-word.
Camille, before you tweeted
about Professor Michaels'
use of N-word-ly,
wasn't there something else
she did that upset you?
CAMILLE: I'm not sure what
you're talking about.
CORD: Well, you asked her twice
for an extension on your term paper.
Yeah-huh.
And she said no.
And when you did
turn in the term paper late
anyway, what grade did you get?
- She gave me a C.
- CORD: And isn't that
really the reason that
you wanted to get her fired?
No.
Can't you object or something?
- This has nothing to do with it.
- Even if she did object,
you'd still have to answer the question.
This court is bullshit.
You want to clear her
so she can get her job back,
but she knew what she was doing
using that word.
- No, I didn't.
- Come on.
You think college is meant
to be a warm, cuddly place
- where you're not challenged.
- No,
I just don't want to spend
my day being offended.
These are the words that
make up the English language.
They exist.
They don't mean
what you think they mean.
- And that is education.
- No.
An education is living in now,
not in the th century.
WACKNER: Okay,
good. That was illuminating.
You can step down now.
Thank you, my dear.
f*ck you. You're not even trying.
The optics matter.
Racially.
I agree.
Some of the jurors may react to a woman
interrogating a man, period.
Well, we're both women.
That... that can't be helped.
Some of the jurors
may feel more comfortable
if, um...
if I question the cop.
'Cause you're white?
Yes. I'm just speaking pragmatically.
They may not think I have
as big a dog in the fight.
And, on the other hand,
some jurors might appreciate
that I do have a dog in the fight.
Okay. Well, I could
be more dispassionate.
Do we want dispassionate?
Liz, you're shoving me out
of my name partner position
- because of my race.
- I am doing nothing.
You are the one
who got our r*cist clients
to whine to STR Laurie about us.
Those clients bring in
a great deal of money,
and they are not racists.
Oh, are you f*cking kidding me?
They have been my clients for years.
That's what it was about.
Are you saying that-that
if you were being replaced
by another white partner they
would have the same objection?
I'm saying... maybe they
worry about racial grudges.
- Oh, my God.
- I mean, what do you call
pushing me out of a-a...
of a name partnership
- that I worked for?
- That you felt entitled to.
Excuse me?
Really?
That's what you think?
Yeah.
I think that Barbara Kolstad
was shoved out
because you felt entitled
to her position.
Fine. Let's finish this case,
because here's the problem:
We can't work together
if you don't respect me.
No, we can't work together
if you use race cynically.
Oh, fine.
You cross-examine him,
because this is bullshit.
This is m*therf*cking bullshit.
You want to come after me,
you come after me
with an honest argument
about my lack of competence,
- my lack of worth.
- Your unworthiness...
which you don't seem
to want to acknowledge...
is you can't be the top dog
in a Black firm.
Wake up.
AMY ANN: Ever sh**t anybody?
No, ma'am.
Not in years of service.
Other than on the occasion
of Antoinette Lacey's passing,
had you ever used your stun g*n?
Never, and...
I hope to God I never do again.
AMY ANN: Did anyone tell you
that Antoinette Lacey
had a heart condition?
MCFINLEY: No. No one did.
I just...
So, other than k*lling an unarmed girl,
- AMY ANN: Object to "k*lled."
- you never used your stun g*n?
- Yeah, Counselor, rephrase.
- LIZ: So, other than using
lethal force on an unarmed girl,
you only faced disciplinary action
for violent behavior once?
I'm not sure what you're referring to.
In February, ,
did Chicago PD respond to a report
of a domestic dispute at your house?
Objection. Your Honor, Officer McFinley
isn't on trial for his personal life.
No, he's on trial
for being a violent cop.
Overruled. The witness may answer.
[SCOFFS] It wasn't...
It was an argument.
My wife...
My ex-wife...
We had a fight,
not a physical one, verbal.
- So it was just a noise disturbance?
- Yes.
- Your Honor...
- Uh, Your... Your Honor,
we would like to call our next witness,
Officer McFinley's ex-wife,
- Vanessa McFinley.
- AMY ANN: Your Honor,
Ms. McFinley was not
on the witness list.
DIANE: She doesn't need
to be. She's being used
to rebut Officer McFinley's testimony.
- The testimony he just swore to.
- I'm sorry, just a moment,
- Ms. McFinley.
- AMY ANN: Your Honor, I know that
with your politics you lean
- to the worldview of BLM...
- No, no,
Counselor, please don't try that.
Then we ask for a recess
to review with our client.
They can review all they want.
It's not gonna change
what's been said on the stand.
Well, still, Ms. Reddick, um...
let's adjourn to tomorrow morning.
[STRIKES GAVEL]
Well, it was a good try
to get her in today.
Yeah, well, whether we get her in today
or tomorrow, it doesn't matter.
She's a slam dunk.
Nicholas Dupont.
I represent comedians.
I want to help anyone
who's serious about comedy
and his career.
- His career but not her career?
- I... Uh, no, that's-that's not
- what I was trying to say.
- One for the prosecution, Dean.
NICHOLAS: No, no, wait. Now, she didn't
- let me finish my statement.
- Yes, she did, sir.
And you revealed your mindset
with a spontaneous utterance.
Continue, Madame Prosecutor.
- Miss Prosecutor.
- Miss, my apologies.
MARISSA: Your clients
include Joey Battle.
NICHOLAS: That's right.
He's a very talented man.
One of the funniest men alive.
Did doing your best for Joey
mean silencing
June Barrow after he victimized her?
Uh, objection to victimized.
You only get three objections
per day in my court, Mr. Cord.
You sure you want to use it now?
Uh...
Objection withdrawn.
I never silenced anyone.
I have here an affidavit from
Steve Brant at the Laugh Farm
saying you explicitly told him
to cancel June's upcoming booking.
- NICHOLAS: Eh, he hates me.
- MARISSA: Uh-huh. And you
- apparently hate him.
- Look,
I might have called her a loose cannon.
That's a possibilit...
Look, uh...
at the time, I had no idea
there was any truth
- to the allegations about Joey.
- You didn't notice
that June's story
had uncanny similarities
to stories told
by other female comedians?
I heard a rumor that Joey
might have had an affair or two
that went sour, but...
I-I didn't understand
the allegations, exactly.
You never heard that he had a habit
of inviting women to his dressing room,
blocking the door, and then masturbating
- into a potted ficus?
- Absolutely not.
So it's just a coincidence that
at your holiday party
you made a joke
that people should keep Joey
away from the Christmas tree?
- [SOFT CHUCKLE]
- [DING]
I think this deserves two slashes, Dean.
Marissa.
Use me however you want.
- I'm in.
- Really?
- Yes.
- Oh! Thank you.
Hey.
Where was that passion
in the N-word case?
Oh, I guess I feel like
it's not the N-word.
It is.
It always is.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
♪
NEWSMAN: Witnesses heard the
sh**t yell, "That's for Antoinette,"
- an apparent reference to the ongoing
- Oh, my God.
- civil suit against the officer.
- Diane, turn on the news.
In what is turning into a season of...
♪
Before two sh*ts
were fired at close range.
The assailant is unknown
and still at large.
Many wonder whether
the ongoing brutality lawsuit
against the city
had something to do with
the patrol officer's m*rder.
Oh, f*ck.
Jesse McFinley was a father
of four and a -year veteran
of the Chicago Police Department.
♪
♪
♪
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic ed.com
♪
MARISSA: Do you guys have a minute?
Sure.
Remember how you told me
how much you hate
being Blackopedia for white people,
explaining what is or isn't offensive?
Yeah.
I really need to ask you if
something is or isn't offensive.
We love playing this game
with white allies.
You can ask me about Jews
any time you want.
Just go.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
I'm prosecuting someone
in Wackner's court
who lost their professorship
for saying a word.
What word?
Niggardly?
As in "stingy"?
Exactly. Is the word offensive?
- No. It means stingy.
- Wait...
It's a medieval word
that no one uses in casual conversation.
- You really think it's offensive?
- I think it's a microaggression.
And microaggressions are like Pringles.
You never have just one.
If you mean "stingy"...
But don't you undercut
the English language
when you reduce the number
of words we can use?
Then create new ones!
That's how language develops.
- Why not do both?
- Okay.
African Americans aren't
monolithic. I get it.
[OVERLAPPING ARGUING]
- No, Carmen is just weird.
- No.
I just don't have the same
thin skin that you do.
- Really? Thin?
- Uh-huh.
Not a Black person on earth
would ever let that word slide.
Thank you for supporting
the monolithic argument,
but I think it has nothing
to do with that.
Although I've asked you
to ignore the news,
you've probably heard by now
that Officer McFinley
- was k*lled last night.
- [GASPING]
Our deepest sympathies
go out to his family.
Nevertheless, uh,
this case is not against him,
it is against the Chicago PD.
We must do our best
to set aside emotions
and look only at the facts.
But first...
a moment of silence
feels appropriate.
We're f*cked.
LIZ: Thank you for answering
our questions, Ms. McFinley.
Can you tell us about your
ex-husband's v*olence
and the domestic abuse call?
[SOBBING]: He was a good man.
[SNIFFLING]
When he got stressed out,
it was only 'cause he
was working too hard.
He put his life on the line
every single day.
But he-he, he did hit you?
I'm so sorry, Jess.
I'm so sorry. Oh, my God.
You didn't deserve it.
[MURMURING]
[SOBBING]
Mr. McFinley's death,
in the middle of this case,
has clearly prejudiced this jury.
Why would you think that?
Oh, come on.
Not a great argument, Counselor.
I'm going to need something
more than "Come on."
We're worried that the jury
won't base their decision on fact.
They're gonna base it on
McFinley being violently k*lled.
You were never basing this on the facts.
You were basing this on the emotions
for that poor Black girl.
- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
- Okay, thank you.
I'm-I'm just gonna keep
talking until somebody listens.
So, I'm just talking, talking.
Words, words, words.
I'm calling a voir dire de novo.
I know. I know.
I've never done this before.
A voir dire, mid-trial,
you can re-question
the jury in chambers.
You can ask them if they're
watching the news
and find out how they're impacted.
And if they are impacted,
you will declare a mistrial?
I don't know what I'll do.
You can solve this, though. You know?
You three can come up with some
kind of negotiated settlement.
That's my recommendation.
But what do I know?
Joey invited comedians
to his dressing room for drinks
after shows sometimes.
Hey, Joey.
I was excited when he invited me.
I thought, finally,
I'm in the inner circle.
I didn't realize
it would just be me and Joey.
Can you tell us what happened next?
He asked if he could...
[SIGHS]
jerk off in front of me.
I thought it was a joke, so I laughed.
But then he did it.
I just stood there.
Like it was some kind of an initiation.
Did you tell anyone what happened?
I told everyone,
and they all blamed me.
The men especially.
They just looked at me
like I compelled Joey
to quick masturbate.
My manager told me to shut my mouth,
- or it would ruin my career.
- And did it?
The first gig I had
as a headliner got canceled.
Things went south after that.
Has your career ever rebounded?
f*ck no. Hmm-mm.
I'm sorry, June.
Nothing further.
Ms. Barrow,
you had a headliner gig
canceled on July , ?
- Is that right?
- Uh-huh.
I'd like to read a review
from a prior gig on July th.
"While June Barrow has been
described as a rising star,
"she proved tonight
how easy it is to mistake
a low-flying satellite
for a distant sun."
Ms. Barrow, your headliner gig
was canceled because of bad reviews.
- Wasn't it?
- Comics get bad reviews all the time.
Have you read Joey Battle's?
Well, why don't you show us
your act then?
Let the court see
just how funny you are.
- Objection.
- [WACKNER MURMURS]
[CHUCKLING]:
That sounds like a good idea.
It's irrelevant, Your Honor.
This is the wrong venue,
the wrong crowd.
You-You've gotten tons
of laughs in here.
They were spontaneous.
This is different.
Marissa, you're flailing.
You know what you get when you flail.
I... Your Honor, I am not flailing.
Put it on, Marissa.
Come on.
Okay, be seated.
Okay, let's hear it. Tell us some jokes.
- I'm not really a joke comedian.
- What other kind is there?
I tell stories about the frailty
of being human.
Oh, okay. Do that.
[STAMMERS] Uh...
Ah, okay, uh...
Uh, who came up
with the term "r*pe fantasy"?
I mean, what was that woman
thinking? She should aim higher.
One day I'm gonna win
an Oscar and cure cancer,
- and then...
- [RESERVED CHUCKLING]
I love being a millennial.
I can wake up late and blame
everyone else for everything.
Okay, Dean.
Have a seat in the, uh, witness box,
Juror Number Two.
So, uh, the attorneys are
gonna ask you some questions
about recent events to see
how you've been affected.
Is that okay?
You posted on Facebook
after the McFinley k*lling.
- Didn't you?
- I guess.
I talk to my grandkids every day.
Mm-hmm. You wrote,
"People need to have respect
for what cops do.
A hero was gunned down."
I just think he deserves
a little respect.
The man d*ed.
Your Honor, we move to strike for cause.
Objection. This is all racial.
It is not. She wrote
in support of McFinley.
Yeah. Yeah, I'll give it to you.
Uh, juror dismissed.
Let's get the next one in here.
Thank you. Thank you.
Didn't three Black students approach you
about not repeating the word
"N-word-ly"?
Oh, they objected to many
of the ways I taught.
And, despite that,
you used the word again,
even though you were told
it made them uncomfortable?
Objection. Unduly argumentative.
She didn't commit m*rder.
True, but I love a good
Socratic argument. Go for it.
You used "N-word-ly" again,
didn't you, Professor?
I took it as a teaching moment.
[STAMMERING] I-I explained
what the word meant,
and, uh, I had to use the word
in order to explain it.
Even though you were asked to stop?
I'm an educator.
Challenging students
is my responsibility.
So you're trying to offend?
No, but I am trying to prepare
my students
for a world that won't kowtow
to their sensitivities.
So you deliberately say things
to trigger students?
School is not a place to be comforted.
It's a place to be challenged.
Where do you draw the line
between challenged
and triggered?
I don't.
A-a-a class shouldn't be governed
by the most fragile sensibility,
or, or it would shy away
from every difficult subject.
A history class has to discuss r*pe
when talking about w*r crimes.
MARISSA: But it doesn't
have to describe it in detail.
It does if it wants
the students to sympathize,
to understand a victim's account.
The only way to honor a victim
might be to relate to her full account.
Okay, I get that.
But why not use the word "stingy"
or "miserly" instead of "N-word-ly"?
Because I like clarity in language.
I like variety in language.
And, and-and, yes,
maybe I am pushing back a bit.
Then why not use the N-word?
Could we have one questioner at a time?
No, answer the question.
If you want to push back,
why not use the actual N-word?
Because I'm not teaching the
Civil w*r or Huckleberry Finn.
MARISSA: And if you were, you might?
Yes.
Juror .
Identifies as mixed race.
Works at a food bank.
Probably won't be able to knock him off.
We're out of options.
We need one more juror
bumped to get our mistrial.
I've checked. We don't
have anything else.
- [DIANE GROANS]
- JULIUS: You need to see this.
Oh, good God. What now?
We're on the news.
On? What does that mean?
TED: Systemic racism. White privilege.
We hear it from academics
and Hollywood celebrities
and basketball players.
By the way, how many houses
does LeBron James have?
Now add to the list
Marxist slip-and-fall lawyers
from "Raddick" /Lockhart.
You need to hear what one
of these lawyers had to say
about martyred Chicago police officer
Jesse Patrick McFinley.
Cops have not been held
accountable for far too long,
and now the bill is due.
I made that statement
before McFinley was k*lled.
A cop gunned down in cold blood.
And to lawyer Diane Lockhart,
- Oh...
- "The bill's come due."
Was that not her finger on the trigger
as much as whatever thug held the g*n?
I'm asking the question
because that's what we do here.
[DIANE SIGHS]
Maybe we could use this.
With the judge?
He hates Fox News.
Maybe we could start over
again with the jurors.
Well, I'm glad you find
something positive here.
He just called you two co-assassins.
We need to get you security.
So one more juror.
And we have our mistrial.
That's doable.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Stay close.
[CLEARS THROAT]
BAILIFF: All rise.
May we approach, Your Honor?
Uh, sure. Yeah. Let's go ahead.
You may be seated. Thank you.
Your Honor, last night
Ted Willoughby on Fox News...
Yes, I-I know who he is.
He accused the two of us
of being complicit
in the m*rder of Officer McFinley...
Was this the first time someone
on Fox was mean to you?
We're concerned about
his influence on the jury.
We'd like to ask the jurors about it.
Your Honor, we already went
through the jurors.
You ruled no mistrial.
This is new influence.
They just want another bite
at the apple.
They want to get one more juror bumped.
We want an unbiased jury
just like you do.
Just like His Honor does.
And we don't want
the influence of Fox News.
They're playing
on your bias against Fox.
Okay, uh, voir dire de novo et doctuse.
That's Latin for "the sequel."
Do you know who Ted Willoughby is?
- I do.
- And have you watched his show?
Not has she watched his show,
but has she watched his show last night?
Okay, I'll ask.
Have you watched the Ted Willoughby show
in the last two days?
Uh, no, I don't watch it.
Some people from my church have,
but I don't like it.
And has anyone from your church told you
that Ted Willoughby said
that the two of us
are responsible for the m*rder...
She just said she didn't see it.
Don't try to fill her in
and create some bias
where there is none.
We take exception to that
characterization, Your Honor.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Come here. All of you.
Uh, no, sorry. Not you. Uh, sorry, stay.
Um, Counselors, you two are pushing it.
You get to ask these jurors
one question.
Have they seen this reporter?
And that's it.
And whether they're intimidated
by the presence of cops
- in the courtroom.
- Your Honor...
No, that's a reasonable question.
And if we get noes
from the jurors, we move on.
- Understood?
- DIANE AND LIZ: Yes.
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- LIZ: That didn't go well.
Okay. What now?
Prepare for trial.
I'll see if the jurors' answers
check out.
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SIGHS] This is odd.
The case I didn't care about
is going well, and the one
I do care about is cratering.
- Did you see that guy?
- No.
- What?
- It was Joey Battle.
What was Joey Battle doing here?
He met with David Lee.
He's negotiating a contract
with Del Cooper.
Del Cooper to the stand.
I'm sorry, you want...
Del Cooper.
I know he can hear me,
he's in the control room.
Ah. See? Here he comes.
Hey, Hal, uh, Your Honor,
look, I'm really needed
in the control room right now.
If this is a TV show, yes.
But if this is a court, no.
Step up here, Del.
[SIGHS]
If I take the stand, then
I'm breaking the fourth wall,
and we don't want to do that.
Nobody's breaking any walls.
Sit down in the chair, and
let her ask whatever she wants.
Mr. Cooper, you had a conversation
with Judge Wackner
prior to this trial, didn't you?
- Objection.
- You were part of that conversation,
- Mr. Cord.
- So were you.
Exactly. So we all
have to be honest here.
Mr. Cooper, you encouraged Judge Wackner
to take this Joey Battle case,
didn't you?
I have to object, Your Honor.
This court is entitled
to adjudicate any dispute...
Where are you going with this, Marissa?
Mr. Cooper, you hoped to rehabilitate
Joey Battle's career, isn't that right?
So you could put him back
on your streaming site
for a stand-up you're recording
in St. Louis in days?
No.
I thought it would be good
for this show.
This show?
This show, meaning Wackner's court?
- This is a mistake, Marissa.
- Is it?
Aren't we just here to discover
the truth, Your Honor?
You have something to say
to me, just say it.
Have you prejudged this case?
Are you questioning my integrity?
I'm asking if you pre...
No, g*dd*mn it!
You will answer my question
before you ask me yours.
If you've already decided how
this case will end,
Your Honor, if we're here to give Del
the ending he wants for his TV show
and to make you rich and famous,
then, yes,
- I am questioning your integrity.
- Put the cameras on.
You pack up your things and you
get the f*ck out of here.
The women who have trusted this
court deserve representation.
Well, you should've thought of that
before you ran off your f*cking mouth.
Now, you get the hell
out of my courtroom!
Wow.
[ELEVATOR CLATTERS]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
[DIANE GRUNTS SOFTLY]
Oh, my God.
It happened last night.
Security doesn't know how they got in.
Of course they don't.
They suggest we call the cops.
We're gonna have to paint.
I called building maintenance.
- They say we may have to wait.
- What? Why?
'Cause we're cop K*llers.
Liz, Diane...
I think you might want to see
what Ted Willoughby's
been saying lately.
I think we get the idea, Julius.
No, this is something else.
The man who gave his life
to protect his fellow citizens
is dead, but that's not enough
for the two lawyers
spitting on his grave.
The militant Elizabeth Reddick,
daughter of a disgraced
civil rights leader,
and liberal looney tune Diane Lockhart.
If the name Diane Lockhart
sounds familiar to you,
that may be because of my colleague
Duke Roscoe's discovery.
He outed her years ago
as a closeted lesbian.
Diane Lockhart is technically married,
but to a man we rarely see. Why is that?
Could it be that she
has something more in common
with someone else?
Someone she works with?
She and Liz Reddick
appear to be inseparable.
Is Liz Reddick
- Diane Lockhart's new lover?
- [LAUGHING]
I'm just asking questions.
There's no way to know for sure,
because Diane Lockhart
and Liz Reddick won't tell us.
- [LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]
- These two lipstick lawyers
want the jury to believe their eyes
when they
look at fuzzy cell phone videos.
Why don't they want us
to believe our eyes
when we look at them?
So...
When do I get to meet your son?
I don't know.
Are we that serious?
I don't know. You tell me.
How's Diane?
Mm-hmm.
So, you're telling me,
I have nothing to worry about?
Okay, Diane and I,
- we go a long way back.
- Mm-hmm.
All right? We didn't
become lovers until after
Tr*mp was elected. It was a very
experimental thing.
[LAUGHING]
Yeah, so, uh... This is a bit, right?
- Yeah, you'll never know.
- Mm-hmm.
I have ways of making you talk.
- [CHUCKLING]
- [PHONE RINGING]
- [DEL GROANS]
- [PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]
sh*t.
Yeah, it's me.
No.
No, no, no. You tell him "no."
I-I don't care if it's contractual.
All right? I'm coming down right now.
[LAUGHS]
Who was that?
That is my secret lover.
- Huh?
- My, uh, latest reality star.
- Yeah.
- Come here.
Mm. [CHUCKLES]
WACKNER: Are you questioning
my integrity?
- I'm asking if you've pre...
- No, g*dd*mn it!
You will answer my question
before you ask me yours.
MARISSA: If you've already decided
how this case will end, Your Honor,
if we're here to give Del
the ending he wants
for his TV show,
and to make you rich and famous,
then yes,
I am questioning your integrity.
You pack up your things,
and you get the...
Hey, hey, hey, man.
- Judge.
- Hmm?
Look...
you lost your temper. Okay?
It's no big deal.
I'm Pol Pot.
- I'm Ceausescu.
- [SCOFFS] No. No.
Man, look.
One of the biggest moments
in reality TV history
was Tyra Banks losing her sh*t
on America's Top Model.
She had a meltdown.
Meltdowns are good TV.
[LINE RINGING]
Pick up, Marissa. Pick up.
Come on. Come on.
Pick up.
[RINGING]
[SIGHS] I'm here.
Hey...
I want you to come back to court.
I want you to finish your cases.
Why?
Because I made a mistake.
I was an assh*le.
You were right.
Do you want me to apologize?
I will.
Yeah, actually, I do.
I'm sorry.
I was biased.
I won't be when you come back.
I'm taking this seriously, Your Honor.
I know you are.
That's why I want you back.
You got to finish it.
[SIGHS]
Thank you. Come in.
Uh, hey. Thank you for stopping by.
Um...
I...
I've been worried that
I was insensitive,
and I wanted to get
a gut check from both of you.
Sure, Your Honor. What is it?
I've been watching the two
of you throughout the case,
and I realized,
after what I heard last night,
that, uh, your discomfort...
made sense to me.
[SIGHS] If my wife and I ever
tried to work together,
our relationship wouldn't last
[CHUCKLING]: Ten minutes.
So, yeah, more power to you.
I just... I'm a great friend
of the LGBTQ,
uh, plus, you know, community.
Thank you, Your Honor.
Yeah, um...
Yeah, actually, you know what?
Your Honor, there is, there is
something that you could...
could settle for us.
Oh, great. Certainly. Yeah.
One of the jurors, uh,
the one from the church?
Uh, I think she's noticed
how close we are together.
And, uh...
[WHISPERING]: I-I hope you
don't mind me saying this.
No, it's been on my mind
as well. She did...
She did see us out in the hall...
- LIZ: Yeah.
- ...together.
Yeah, and, uh, uh, we're just worried
that our relationship
may have played into her bias.
It would just be good to be certain.
Don't you think, darling?
[LAUGHTER]
So, you go ahead and ask your questions.
Show what a terrible person I am.
I guarantee you, I already know,
so does everyone else.
Yeah, that's sort of your schtick,
saying how awful you are.
My schtick? No, it's the,
the voices in my head.
No. Oof.
- I'm an assh*le. Good one.
- [LAUGHTER]
Seems like you feel
pretty sorry for yourself.
I do? I'm sorry.
But you don't feel sorry for
how you treat other people.
Is that a question?
You want to make it
in this business? Be ruthless.
The only thing that matters
is your material.
Other people, they're not real.
You can't worry about their feelings.
The minute you care...
comedy dies.
"Other people are not real."
That was four years ago.
I'm a different person.
Two nights ago,
you did a set at : a.m.
at The Side Room downtown.
I-I was testing out some material.
Trying some stuff out.
So there's all these
stupid women out there
who are going around saying,
"Oh, he did awful things to me."
Which just makes it harder,
in this day and age,
for me to convince other women
to let me do awful things
to them, which I want to do because
- I'm a male human being!
- [LAUGHTER]
You'd think people would
understand that by now,
but they seem to be completely
hung up on the whole...
"doing awful things" aspect.
Is that the new you?
No.
That is... Look.
Comedy, it's, um...
I do bits.
It's a mercurial, kind of...
They're not real.
It's not, you know, it's...
What you got to look at is
they're just a whatchamacall...
Like a... Ah.
The time has come.
I am ready to rule.
Henrietta, you were born free,
and I return you to your natural state.
What does that mean?
It means you may go.
What you did falls under the category
of "awful but lawful."
And we here at
the Circuit Court of /
are not in the business of
regulating manners.
So, goodbye.
Your Honor,
that's actually not what I want.
It isn't?
What does that mean?
It would help me get my job back
if the school knew I was being punished.
WACKNER: You want to be punished?
HENRIETTA: Yes, please.
It's the only way I can be uncanceled.
If they know the canceling
was satisfied.
I have only one word for that...
Oy.
But sure. I penalize you to, um...
cleaning the school bathrooms
for a week.
- Thank you, Your Honor.
- Anytime.
- [BELL RINGS]
- Good luck.
And now Joey Battle.
Yes, Your Honor. Yes.
Joey, as you can see, the score
really isn't in your favor.
I understand you want your career back.
You are a funny man.
It takes hard work to get funny.
Maybe you think that's enough.
But you haven't done anything
for the women you hurt.
You haven't made amends.
Your Honor, I...
I brought my checkbook.
You're a rich man, Joey.
I think everyone here
knows the minute you go back to work,
you'll earn back your fine in no time.
Your Honor, everybody deserves
a second chance.
You know the expression,
"doing your time"?
Your Honor, I haven't worked
a major venue in over a year.
How much time do you want me to take?
Doing time means more than taking time.
It means serving your sentence.
Going to prison.
You want to come back? Okay.
First, you got to do your time.
Three-week sentence.
June.
- Yes?
- Please.
Come. Here you go.
Go ahead. Cuff him.
Is this some kind of a metaphor
or something?
- Like an adult time-out?
- Yes, Joey.
That's exactly what prison is,
an adult time-out.
You keep saying pri... Uh,
this is a joke, though, right?
June. I said cuff him.
Now.
Your Honor, you can't just send him...
W-What prison are you talking about?
There is no prison.
Oh, boy, there is.
This court's benefactor
owns a private prison company.
He's offered us a wing in one
of his bankrupted institutions.
Lucky you, Joey.
You're the first person
I'm sending there.
Oh, my God.
WACKNER: June, he harmed you.
Go ahead. Cuff him.
You're going to escort him to his cell.
In this court, you get to see
the person you're sending away,
eye to eye.
Hey, Your Honor.
Let's, uh...
let's make it two weeks, okay?
I know. You have your
stand-up in St. Louis.
Three weeks.
- [BELL RINGS]
- Recess,
then we have the Exxon Mobile case.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[GATE BUZZING]
This is really happening, isn't it?
It sure looks like it.
[DOOR BUZZING]
Turn around.
June...
I'm sorry.
You're forgiven.
[GATE BUZZING]
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
- WOMAN: Good afternoon, ladies.
Thanks for coming in on short notice.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I hear there's been a lot
of tension between you two.
No, everything's fine.
Oh, good to know. [CHUCKLES]
Well, Human Resources
needs you two to sign these.
A love contract?
Yes.
When employees embark on a relationship,
it's policy for us to confirm,
in writing,
that the relationship is consensual.
We in H.R. just want to avoid
problems later.
Sometimes romances don't work out.
Good. [CHUCKLING]
Good. I hope you two patch things up.
This is the first step.