01x26 - Driving Mrs. Dabney

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Good Luck Charlie". Aired: April 2010 - February 2014.*
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Series follows PJ, Teddy and Gabe as they adjust to the newest member of the family, Charlie.
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01x26 - Driving Mrs. Dabney

Post by bunniefuu »

Okay, Charlie, what do you say when you get in trouble? Uh-oh.

Oh, Charlie just made an uh-oh? I just changed you.

No, Charlie didn't do anything.

I'm just sampling her.

"sampling" means I'm recording all the words she says.

So I can play them back.

Oh, we used to do that.

We called it tape-recording.

Check it out.

Mine, yes, no, cookie, Nana.

Dad, you promised you'd take me driving today.

To be fair, I promise a lot of things I don't deliver on.

Yeah, but you can't keep putting this off.

My driver's test is in three days, and you haven't taken me out once.

No, I know, I know.

You explained it all to me.

While I was trying to read in the bathroom.

You were outside the door while dad was in the bathroom? That's how much I want it.

Bob, take her driving already.

All right, fine.

Let's go.

Boy, I tell you, nothing good ever happens when I leave the bathroom.

Bye-bye.

Bye bye bye-bye.

- What's that? - Just in case you don't make it back.

today's all burnt toast ♪ running late, and dad says ♪ has anybody seeny left shoe? ♪ I close my eyes, take a bite ♪ grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪ there it is up on the roof ♪ I've been there, I've survived ♪ so just take my advice ♪ hang in there, baby ♪ things are crazy ♪ but I know your future's bright ♪ hang in there, baby ♪ there's no maybe ♪ everything turns out all right ♪ your life is up and down ♪ but trust me, it comes back around ♪ you're gonna love who you turn out to be ♪ hang in there, baby.

♪ P.J., what did you get Teddy for her birthday? - Birthday? - Your sister's turning 16.

We're having a surprise party for her tonight.

Well, it's working, 'cause I'm surprised.

The party starts at 7:00.

You have to get her a present, and something nice.

- How about? - Not another sock puppet.

You have to get her something too.

Whoa whoa, what did I just walk into? Mom says we have to buy Teddy a birthday present.

What about a dog? I bet she'd like a dog.

I'm serious.

You have to get her something.

What about a dog? I bet she'd like a dog.

Gabe, is there a dog in my house? Maybe.

He followed me home, mom.

Can we keep him? No.

I've told you I do not want a dog in this house.

Mom, please.

Horsy.

No, honey.

It's actually a doggie.

Who just made a horsy-sized uh-oh.

Sorry, Teddy.

I've made my decision and it's final.

Dad, that's so unfair.

Mom, dad says I can't get my license.

- What? Why not? - Because she's not ready.

Well, my driving instructor thinks I am.

He says I'm doing great.

The man works for the public schools.

He's got nothing to live for.

Mom, can you say something? Teddy honey, I'm sorry, But your father has a very small area of authority And unfortunately for you, Teaching you kids to drive is part of it.

So what else is in that area? Barbecuing.

That's it.

Dad, please.

I really want to get my license the day I turn 16.

Look, it's not gonna happen, all right? So until further notice, there's gonna be no driving.

Sorry.

Can I have the keys, please? Here.

I can't believe I stood outside the bathroom door for this.

Hey.

You're on my side, right? - Honey.

- Yeah? Why am I talking to a dog? He followed Gabe home.

But don't worry.

I made it very clear.

We are not keeping him.

Hey, you know something? He kind of reminds me of your Uncle stan.

- What? - The wet nose and the bloodshot eyes.

Come on, he Oh, now I see it.

P.J., I have a question.

Was dad out of control when he was teaching you how to drive? No no, he was very mellow.

Then what is his problem? Well, hair loss, kills bugs for a living There's so much to choose from.

Well, whatever it is, why did he have to take it out on me? I don't know.

Maybe you're a bad driver.

No, I'm a good driver.

I was the only kid in driver's ed.

Who didn't barf during the splattered brains movie.

Actually I have a question for you.

I have a friend who is turning 16.

And I have to buy her a birthday present.

Mm, well, I know your friend wouldn't want a sock puppet.

Okay.

Well, what would she want? Well, She'd probably like boots, Like from that cool store at the mall, But not the black ones with the purple trim.

She already has those.

I'm just guessing.

Oh hi, Mrs.

Dabney.

I see you people have a dog now.

Oh, I'm doing fine, thanks.

How are you? Let me explain something to you.

Your dog makes my Cat nervous.

And when my Cat gets nervous, I get nervous.

And when I get nervous, Mr.Dabney gets nervous.

Then what happens? Mr.Dabney goes to stay with his mother.

So this dog thing is not entirely bad.

All right, we're done here.

Oh, Mrs.Dabney, before you go, Um, I need some more practice hours.

Before I take my driver's test, So if you ever need a chauffeur, I'm your girl.

Let's go.

Right now? I've got a bunch of errands to run.

And if you drive, I can play word jumble on my cell phone.

Actually I do that anyway, but this way it's legal.

This store only has girls in it.

Yeah.

So what's Teddy's oe size? I don't know.

You don't know her shoe size? I don't know her middle name.

Well, dude, how are we supposed to buy her shoes? Wait a minute.

Teddy wore your sneakers by mistake last week, right? - Yes.

- That means you're the same size.

Here, try these on.

Oh no.

I am not putting on girl boots.

Oh, come on.

They'll look good with that girl shirt you're wearing.

It's not a pony.

It's a stallion.

Fine, I'll put them on for two seconds.

Buying boots for my sister.

Funny story she and my brother have the same size feet.

Good thing she didn't want underwear, right? Okay, see you.

Okay, they fit.

Whoa, hold on, dude.

You've gotta stand up, Walk around, make sure they're comfortable.

Come on.

Wow, those do wonders for your legs.

Okay, that's enough.

They won't come off.

What? Let me try.

Why are your feet so fat? They're not fat.

They're husky.

What are we gonna do? Well, there's only one thing to do.

- Who are you calling? - No one.

I'm taking a picture of you in girl boots.

The light's not getting any greener.

I know, but the car in front of me hasn't moved yet.

Here's a quick driving lesson.

Wake up, grandpa! Sorry, that was her, not me.

Oh look, grandpa's telling us we're number one.

No, he's not.

He's I know what he's doing.

So we should probably head home now, right? Just one more stop boulder.

I want to see my sister.

Boulder? That's in the mountains.

Oh, you got one of those flat-land-only driving permits? No, it's just I have to be home by 7:00.

Oh, and we should probably stop for gas.

In this car you can drive I'll tell you when we need gas.

Now we need gas.

Yeah, just one problem We're in the middle of nowhere.

And it looks like rain.

Agh! And there's a crazy woman outside my window.

So actually we got three problems.

Hello.

Kinda hard to talk with the window open just a cr*ck.

Sorry.

What are y'all doing over here? We're out of gas.

Well, this is your lucky day.

There's gas and such down the road a spell.

Oh, how far is a spell? Of course, I got a gallon of gas right here.

Great.

How much is it? The mountain lady's got an angle.

I also got gum, mints, magazines.

I could keep you up to date on all things Justin bieber.

Oh.

Charlie.

Charlie, hand mommy the tape.

Fine.

It'll just be a "sweet 6" party.

What are you drawing? Are you making a pretty picture? What do you want, dog? Horsy.

What are you doing? What are you doing? You cannot be here.

You're kind of sweet.

Okay, just for a minute.

You're not such a bad dog, are you? No, you're a good dog.

I'm gonna call you sweetie-pie 'cause you're a sweetie-pie.

- Mommy.

- Charlie, not now.

Yes.

Mom, we have got a big problem.

Oh, you sure do.

Those boots do not go with those shorts.

You are working my last nerve.

She is a handful.

Does any of this look familiar? Looks like the same road we drove down 10 minutes ago.

So I'm just going in circles.

And you didn't want to say anything? I thought my annoyed silence was speaking volumes.

Okay.

Well, we're lost.

And we need to look at a map.

Do you have a map? On my cell phone.

But I'd have to turn off my word jumble.


Okay.

What did you do now? I think we're in some kind of hole.

Well, then one of us is gonna have to get out and push The one of us who's 16.

I'm not 16 yet.

- Get out.

- Okay.

Okay, hit it, but try to go Slow.

Okay, go again, but this time.

Try to go a little bit slower.

Oh.

Well, this would be a great time.

For the mountain lady to come by with some skirts.

Hey, sweetie.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I think you found my dog.

Um, we don't have a dog here.

Really? I found this flyer with your address on it.

Must be a misprint.

No dog.

Bye-bye.

Mom, mom, can I talk to you for a minute? Hi, we'll be right with you.

Okay.

Look, mom, we've got to do the right thing here.

If you want a dog, we can get you another one.

I don't want another dog.

I want my sweetie-pie.

Mom, he already has a family.

Who loves him and misses him.

He needs to go home.

I know.

Goodbye, sweetie-pie.

I will never forget you.

Winston! Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm very very proud of you.

Now how about we go get you some ice cream? - Okay.

- Yes, come on.

Oh, you guys, Teddy's here.

Everybody hide.

Hide.

Surprise! Aww.

Oh, okay.

I know what you're thinking Teddy can wear anything.

Oh, um Why don't I go clean up.

And we'll try this again in 30 minutes, okay? Oh, one more thing you guys! - Great cake, mom.

- I got it at the store.

I know.

That's why I said "great cake, mom.

" Dad, what are you doing out here? Just thinking.

Are you enjoying your party? Yeah, it's awesome.

Thank you so much.

Dad, I have to tell you something.

You spent the afternoon driving with Mrs.

Dabney.

You got all that from "I have to tell you something"? No, actually I got all that.

From when Mrs.

Dabney returned your skirt.

Now you know I told you I didn't want you driving.

I know.

I'm sorry.

All right, you know what? Let's just talk about this tomorrow.

- Dad, I'm a really good driver.

- Teddy.

No, why are you treating me different than P.J.? You didn't freak out on him when he was learning how to drive.

Because teaching P.J.

To drive was a completely different thing.

- Why? - Because it was.

- Why? - Because he's P.J.

You're my little girl.

Driving means leaving.

And once you get in that car, You go.

Dad.

Look, I'm sorry, okay? You've got your party and stuff going on.

I should be talking about this stuff.

Dad, it's sad to think.

All your kids are gonna leave someday.

Well, actually to be perfectly honest, With P.J.

I'm kind of worried he's never gonna leave.

Yeah, well, We'll hope for the best.

Dad, I want you to know that even though I'm gonna get in that car and drive away someday, I'm also gonna drive back home.

Yeah, probably with a trunkful of laundry.

Yeah.

And now P.J.

And Gabe.

Have a special birthday surprise for you.

But first let me introduce.

Snoop Charlie char.

Teddy, this one's for you.

- Ready? - Yep.

Ready, set, go.

we went to buy boots for a special sister ♪ but they got stuck and now I got a blister ♪ owie ow ow owie ♪ we were out of money, we were out of time ♪ so we dressed up with Charlie and busted out a rhyme ♪ boogie boogie cake boogie boogie cake ♪ you're 16 now, gonna move out soon ♪ in a few more years I'm gonna get your room ♪ Teddy, Teddy, t-t-t-t-teddy ♪ that's all we got, but we hope you know ♪ that we're with you, Teddy, not matter where you go ♪ - Teddy, Teddy ♪ - Happy Birthday.♪.

Well, Charlie, here we are, The Duncan sisters on my 16th birthday.

Can you say, "happy birthday, Teddy"? No? Okay.

Well, it's the thought that counts.

Anyway, the big news is I got my driver's license, Which means I now have total freedom to go wherever I want.

Teddy, I need you to pick up some things at the store.

And while you're at it, the car needs gas.

And pick up gabe just 'cause I don't wanna.

Total freedom.

Can you wish me good luck, Charlie? It's the thought that counts.

Are we there yet? Did you see a grand canyon? I need to go to the bathroom.

I told you to go before we left.

- I didn't have to go then.

- Are we there now? License and registration, ma'am.

Gabe, it's me Teddy.

I'm sorry.

License and registration, Teddy.

You got lucky.
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