01x06 - Ghost Dad

[bunniefuu]

Yeah, but why? Why would you do that?

Why would you let him do that?

Okay, just...

You would not believe what's goin' on

with my crazy-ass family right now.

Just... loose in the wild.

Hiya!

[Miles] So as you can see, I am in jail.

Ashley decided she couldn't handle

telling Sean where I was right away,

so she told him I was
doing a moving job.

To Montana.

[Miles] I'm gonna be here for years,

and she can't hold off
his questions anymore.

How do you tell a six-year-old
his dad won't be home?

Okay, kid. What's it gonna be today?

Princess and the Frog? The Wiz?

Akeelah and the Bee? Cool Runnings?

I wanna watch Paddington .

Whodington what?

Uh...

It's about a British bear?

Yeah.

Don't you wanna watch a Black movie?

What's a Black movie?

A movie with people Black like you.

What color you think you are, Sean?

Honey brown.

f*ck.

♪ ♪

Not everything is black and white,

all good or all bad.

Some things are both...

The way you can be both happy and sad.

Some things we're told are bad are good,

and some things we're
sold as good are bad.

And some things change

depending on where you choose to stand.

Life is about how you choose
to see the truth at hand.

And the truth isn't
planned, isn't... clean.

It's a... crapshoot of
Mom and Dad's moves

falling off a moving van.

It's...

it's not a movie, Sean.

It's a... piece of music
in and out of tune.

It's an unruly
dance. It's a...

Bitch, what the f*ck
are you talking about?

No, mm-mm, don't say that.

You need to just tell
him his dad's in jail.

Don't make a g*dd*mn dance analogy.

I'm just trying to figure
out the right way to tell him.

He's gonna be so scared,

and I don't want him to
think his dad is a bad person.

Oh, honey, come on. I know. It's a lot.

Look, it's slow today.

We're at, like, % capacity,

and I'm sure I can handle
any requests that come down,

and you seem...

in shambles, let's just say that.

You know, why don't you take off early

and take some time to reword
that speech a bit better?

Spend some time with your thoughts.

And how will you spend
the day with your thought?

I wanna smoke.

Ooh, I thought we were
cutting back on that, baby.

No, I mean smoke.

Ooh, this is a nice-ass coat.

I wanna go for a walk.

In nature, please.

And it's a date.

- I just do what I'm told.
- [Ashley] Mm-hmm.

[soft music plays]

♪ ♪

[Janelle] Oh, sh**t.
Forgot my flash drive.

We need to teach Sean he's Black.

What makes you think he
don't know that he Black?

I asked him, straight up.

Okay, but how did you ask him?

He don't even know
what a Black movie is.

[Janelle sighs] Here I was thinkin'

I was gonna get some work done today.

Earl, can you please remind me

to export my last podcast session?

Mm, but what're y'all
talkin' about, though?

Sean?

What are your favorite movies to watch?

John Wick, John Wick ,

Paddington, Paddington ,

and Are You Afraid of the Dark?

- Mm?
- [Nancy] Thank you.

See?

Not nar' a Black Panther in sight.

I think he just needs to
watch true original Black film.

Ooh, The Wiz.

- White writer.
- [both] What?

Uh-uh, Quincy Jones wrote that.

No, the-the music. He wrote the music.

The Wizand Bobby Caldwell? Damn.

Quincy Jones was not properly credited

by the white establishment

for his contribution to that film.

- [Janelle] Say that, Mama.
- [Earl] Wait.

Y'all wanna know the indisputable

Black film, though?

- What?
- What?

Meteor Man.

- n*gga, what?
- [laughter]

Judge, if I may.

Perhaps the Blackest film of all time.

Robert Townsend superhero hood sci-fi

that paved the way for Black Panther?

Look, arguably, there's no Blade.

There's no Kazaam. There's
no Bobby and Whitney.

There's no Obama. I'm serious!

It had James Earl Jones,
Cypress Hill. Come on, now.

Motherfuckin' Meteor
Man. Ain't nobody better.

You can say what you want, Earl,

- but my sh*t is The Five Heartbeats.
- Oh!

[Janelle] You already know
I love me some Eddie King!

Why would y'all have him watch that?

He's too young to watch
historical fiction.

- Well...
- Fiction?

You tryin' to say they
wasn't a real band?

Did OJ's hand really
not fit in that glove?

I suggested Cool Runnings.

Now, that's Jamaica... sorta.

[groans] White writer. White director.

[both] Shut up!

["Somethin' to Ride To" playing]

[Ashley] sh*t.

Tryin' to do it the hard way, huh?

You wanna-you wanna make
it as hard as humanly...

You wanna roll while you drive.

Leave me alone!

Lick it, you know?

You just lick it. And then you pack it.

And then you use your palm
as the other hand to roll it.

You know what I'm sayin'? So, um...

- Yeah.
- Just like, you know, this.

[The Conscious Daughters]
♪ Damn, this sh*t's ♪

- ♪ Hittin' hard In the trunk... ♪
- Well, that has a lot

of holes in it, baby.

[laughs] You can't smoke this.

What, am I supposed to play
these little holes on here

like a little recorder? [laughs]

Just-just play a song while you smoke.

Just hum a little Diddy.

[Richie Rich] ♪ Something
About the West Coast ♪

Ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

[both] Shh! Don't tell nobody.

♪ Something About the West Coast ♪

♪ It makes me wanna ride ♪

♪ Shake it, Westside
Throw yo' hands up ♪

♪ Let's ride To the
city of the scene ♪

♪ We gonna put it on the one ♪

♪ Get your body On the dance floor ♪

[Miles] ♪ Makes me wanna ride ♪

- ♪ Shake it, Westside ♪
- ♪ Westside ♪

- ♪ Let's ride ♪
- ♪ Throw yo' hands up ♪

- ♪ Let's ride ♪
- ♪ We gonna put it on the one ♪

♪ Get your body On the dance floor ♪

♪ In and out my zone I
roam Like mobile phones ♪

♪ Ragtop 'Vettes, Yukons
And hundred chromes ♪

♪ Silly b*tches lie in wait
Until the day I come home ♪

♪ While the phone machine Kicks ♪

♪ Bitch, Rich ain't at home ♪

[Nancy] Lord, yeah, I
didn't tell you that one.

Y'all should have heard how he said

"honey brown" like he the only one.

Yeah, okay, Mama,

but how did you phrase the question?

[Nancy] What am I, on trial?

I know how to question
a child about the truth.

Sean, come over here, baby.

See, you got three in one
hand and four in the other.

They fit together snug.

You gotta make it look effortless,

like you just pick things
up like this all the time.

That's Black boy magic.

I don't think his Blackness

is attached to how
he holds his dominoes.

- Am I supposed to go now?
- [Nancy] Yeah.

I'm tryin' to give him

cultural touchstones to hold on to.

Okay. Here, Sean, let me introduce you

to a Black cornerstone, all right?

I'm the son of a chef,

but these Hot Cheetos hit different.

It's in your blood.

[Sean] Hmm.

Yuck, it's spicy!

Mm, this is more serious than I thought.

- [yells]
- Okay, baby.

Go get some water. Just spit it out!

He's got lungs, hasn't he?

[Janelle] Look, y'all, he's mixed Black.

We can't expect him to have

the same relationship
to Blackness that we do.

That's your youth talkin'. We all mixed.

sh*t, I just don't want him to grow up

to be one of those light-skinned kids

who think they better than somebody.

You didn't call your , by the way,

- but that was your bad.
- [Nancy] Oh, write it down.

[Earl] Oh, no, it's too late. Go ahead.

Well, Ma, he's just having
less of a Black experience.

Whoa, what? What are you saying?

The scale of Blackness is proportional

- to how much you're sh*t on?
- No...

There are all different
kinds of Black, equally.

I'm just sayin' that
Sean out in the world

has a different experience than I do.

What is the Black experience, then?

Incense and brass crabs
and plastic table covers?

Excuse me?

- No offense, Nancy.
- [Janelle] Mm-mm.

[Nancy] Look at him.

Crippled by the slightest hint of spice.

- [Janelle] Mm.
- Get your asses on the ground!

- [Janelle] Bitch.
- See? See? That's that sh*t.

Damn, y'all just left the door
unlocked like some white folks.

[Nancy] Who left the door open?

Sean, baby, you wanna go back
to the house and watch a movie?

- Paddington ?
- [Earl] What? No!

Hold on. We...

[Sean] Can we get popcorn, Tía?

- [Earl] Paddington?
- [Sean] Oh, yeah.

[Miles] You remember when
you were goin' into labor

- and you said, "Never mind."
- [chuckles]

"I don't want a kid. I take it back."

And I was like, "Baby, that's
not really gonna work out,

"because you are crowning right now.

- I can see this m*therf*cker's head."
- [laughter]

Yeah, I mean...

we got our son, and it was better after.

Right, I'm not saying
it's gonna be easy,

but it is happening, and
it is gonna get better.

I can hear your mom railing on the phone

about the evils of hospitals and...

tryin' to tell me to
squat in the bathtub.

Like, the f*ck, Rainey?

She's a hippie mom.

Well, I also remember

you were supposed to play
me a song to keep me calm.

- What was it?
- Oh.

- What was it?
- I don't know.

- Come on, that was your only job.
- I don't know. I don't know!

Clearly, it didn't work!

I just remember pulling up to Highland

and getting in a wheelchair.

And that one dude who got sh*t,

he was getting pulled
out of an ambulance,

and he was screamin',
and I was screamin',

and I was like, "I don't
know who's in more pain,"

but I think it was me.

Well, you were certainly making
the bigger deal out of it.

My dad showed up.

- Oh, man!
- Wow.

Yeah.

Well, put a stop to that. [chuckles]

He wasn't gonna f*ck up that day.

[sighs] You were so tough that day.

Just... hard. [laughs]

You might be the hardest person I know.

- I was giving birth.
- I don't wanna do it.

- [laughter]
- I'd have turned back.

- You were a dad.
- Yeah.

- Cryin'.
- Cryin'. Bawlin'.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, I-I suddenly was this thing,

I'd never had.

Yeah.

- I remember you sayin' that.
- Hmm.

My mom was there.

Yeah.

She said he looked like her father.

She only had a year with Sean.

That was tough.

That was real tough.

Yeah.

The end of the pre-Sean era.

[with English accent] The pre-Sean era.

[with English accent]
A time before Sean.

A time before the child.

[laughter]

[normally] f*ckin', now
he can walk and talk and...

ask questions and know things.

I just wish we could go back.

I wanted to go out for New Year's.

I wanted to get dressed up.

I wanted to see you all dressed up.

[Miles] Today's the day, Ash.

What are we gonna tell our son?

- [refrigerator door slams]
- [Sean exhales heavily]

What I'm sayin' is, is
that Black is an experience.

And baby boy might experience it less.

Well, not less.
Like, he... differently.

Right. That's what I'm sayin'.

So, some Black people have
more privilege than others.

Black privilege?

How the f*ck does that activate?

No, I hear what Janelle is sayin'.

Proximity to Eurocentricity privilege.

- [Janelle] Thank you.
- [Trish] Sean.

What exactly did Mama Nancy say to you?

[Nancy] Don't ask a
clearly confused child.

He needs answers, not more questions.

Yeah, but, Ma, did you
ask him in a weird way?

[Nancy] What'd I say?

See, y'all are trippin'.

Sean is from here. He's Black, okay?
Ain't no semi-Blackness.

There's all kinda shades of Black.

He from the West. His daddy in jail.

He with the shits, as far as I know.

I don't know if "with the shits"

- has anything to do with it.
- [Janelle] Right.

Because them is circumstances.

You know, Blackness is not
just a bunch of circumstances.

Yes, and some circumstances
are uniquely Black.

- [Earl] Facts.
- Exactly, exactly.

See, the n*gga who was
raised rich in Piedmont

and went to private school

is not the same Black
the way we are Black.

The n*gga can't play spades

and the n*gga can't play bones, so...

Well, hold up, 'cause I
can't play spades or dominoes.

- Yeah, I tried.
- What? Really?

No, I can't play spades, Earl.

But what she talkin'
about is the hood pass,

and that's something
completely different.

Wait, okay, so y'all
sayin' the hood pass

has nothing to do with it, hmm?

Like, y'all ain't never read nobody

on they Blackness for how hood they are?

- Hmm. That's interesting.
- Cap! Okay.

Mm.

Yeah, I mean, I did just read you

'cause you can't play spades, Janelle.

Oh, my God, y'all,
it's about how the world

- sees dark skin, period.
- [Trish] Okay, I feel what you sayin',

- but what I am saying...
- [Earl] Okay.

Is that Black is Black, right?

- [Earl] Okay, I can dig that.
- Okay.

Then, depending on where you
raised and your environment

makes you more or less Black.

- [Janelle] No, Trish.
- That don't make no sense.

I'm hella Black. I'm officially super...

Like, I'm actually certified.

I'm actually... at
the DMV, I'm Black.

[Trish] Uh-huh.

[Earl] You know what I mean?

And I'm from the East but, like,

the nice part of the East.

You know what I'm sayin'?
My parents is cool.

They love each other. They good.

Like, they got, like, retirement money.

My pops drive a
Mercedes. I'm less Black?

Yeah, n*gga, and you
were in Quentin for dr*gs.

- So now I'm Black?
- [Nancy] Mm.

You're saying I'm
post-jail Black, Trish?

No, what I'm saying is that...

No, what you're saying makes
no sense at the end of the day.

'Cause here, look.

Your little beige self

cannot tell me or qualify
my Blackness at all.

So what's up with that?

Well, Nancy the same shade as me.

Her grandmother is white.

Does that make her any less Black?

[Janelle] Uh-uh. Hold up.

[Trish] Does that make her less Black?

[Earl] You're talkin' about
people granny like that?

Hold up! My momma is old beige Black.

So that's-that's hella different.

Okay, full stop. First of all, not old.

No, it makes sense. Like, years ago,

would've been a little bit better,

but Nancy's still Rosa Parks Black.

[Janelle] Mm. -You
light-skinned.

You know what I'm sayin'?
You like Doja Cat Black.

- [Trish] Oh!
- [Janelle] Aw, sh*t.

- How old do y'all think I am?
- You really wanna know?

[Trish] Hang on. Hey, hold up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, y'all.

You think I look like Doja Cat?

Wow. Wow.

This is my whole point, okay?

Growin' up, everybody used to say

how beautiful Ashley was, right?

Everybody always said
her hair was so pretty.

They always wanted to know
what was she mixed with.

Everybody was flauntin' they mix.

"Ooh, well, girl, you
know, I'm mixed with India."

"Well, girl, sh*t, I'm part Filipino."

Meanwhile, I'm over
there rockin' Afro puffs,

standin' next to b*tches
who look like you,

and they over there tellin' me

that I need to get my
f*ckin' hair pressed.

[Nancy] Okay, so let's
back it up for a second,

my worldly academic youngsters,

'cause I been Black

for a long time.

Well, not that long. [chuckles]

But longer than y'all.

And I came here before
you all were born,

when Oakland was a place you went to

to get away from
how Black people...

All kinds of Black people...

Were being treated in the South.

And it was a Black city.

Ooh, the Panthers built it up.

Then the FBI made it a cr*ck city.

Then redlining kept us
from buyin' anything,

and now we gettin' pushed
out by new white money

and generational old white money

as if we never existed.

So this whole conversation
is some Black privilege.

And I love it.

So keep on havin' it.

And you're welcome.

And now I'm late for my
date with a Chinese man,

so progress.

And good night.

And y'all show Sean The Wiz

and The Five Heartbeats, m*therf*ckers.

- Bye.
- [Janelle] Y'all.

Wait, y'all, y'all, y'all, for real.

I got one more question.

I got one more question, y'all.

[Earl] What's up?

[Janelle] What?

Do I look like Doja Cat?

- [Janelle] Okay, bitch, listen.
- [meows]

- I can't tell him the truth.
- Nope.

He's gonna hate you for not bein' there.

You're probably already so
mad at me for what happened.

It's all I think about.

You must be...

you must be f*ckin'
furious with me, right?

Somewhere, hate me sometimes?

Maybe.

But I do always say...

[both] I'm a grown man.

I make my own decisions in the end.

- There it is.
- Yeah, well...

I hope that philosophy of
yours is still holding strong.

And maybe you're scared
to tell Sean, too,

and that's why you haven't
been as pushy as I expect you

to be about seein' him.

- [Miles] Maybe, yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, maybe we don't
even have to tell him.

[laughs] No.

I mean, dads leave all the time.

- All the time.
- [Miles] And kids are fine.

You know, my dad left.
No big deal, I'm fine.

Yeah, we'll tell him when I get out.

We'll do that. That's a good plan.

[groans]

That's not what you're gonna say.

[Miles sighs]

I'm just worried
you're thinking...

Bring me my son, you disloyal bitch!

Yes! That's the one. Keep going.

All right.

If it were me out here,

you wouldn't even have to question

how loyal I would be.

But here you are, skippin' visitation,

not bringin' me my son,

and you won't even tell
him where the f*ck I am!

You don't get to doubt my loyalty!

You know exactly how I am built.

Come on, Ash! We had a son!
We had an understanding!

We said we were gonna
do this in a partnership!

That's what we said!

And that we would weather
whatever the f*ck happened

as long as we were here!

I know! And I'm still here!
It's a f*cking hurricane.

Just give me an inch of f*cking
slack while I figure it out!

Loving a ghost is exhausting!

I'm not dead, Ash.

[Ashley] Yeah, but you're not here.

You're in a cinder block
room at Oakland County,

and I'm on a mountaintop
yelling at myself

all because you did me a favor.

There it is. There it is.

Guilt.

'Cause I kept my mouth shut.

You don't owe me anything, baby.

You don't.

[sentimental music plays]

Of course you would say that.

_

Wow.

I forget how beautiful Oakland is.

[Miles] You say that
every time we come here.

You know my favorite part?

You know I do.

When that strip of fog rolls in

and... covers everything by the morning.

[sighs] Happens every night.

It's the most reliable
thing about this place.

It's loyal.

- I love the gray.
- Hmm.

People like the sunny view,

but I think the gray is more...

interesting.

- Hmm.
- More complicated.

And there it is.

He's got to learn to love the gray.

About... life.

He's gotta learn that about... people.

He's gotta learn that about us.

I... wouldn't do that.

Maybe don't be high

talkin' to our son about... his dad.

Does it have to be today?

I'm not even really here,

so that is entirely up to
you, but seeing as I am here,

I think that tells us two things.

One, you know you should've told him

a week or two ago.

So there's that.

And the other?

You're thirsty for me.

You can't stop thinkin' about me.

- Thirsty?
- You want it bad.

- Oh.
- I get it. I am a whole meal.

I'm there, you think
about something else.

[pops lips] I'm back.

[laughs]

'Cause you want it, and you need it.

[laughs]

- [sighs]
- [Ashley] I just miss you.

That's all.

You're my person.

♪ ♪

[Miles] Ash?

[Ashley] Yeah?

[Miles] Why am I dressed like Gatsby?

[Ashley] I don't know.

I just wanted to see it.

[Miles] Okay.

[Ashley] Okay.

[hip-hop music playing over radio]

♪ ♪

[man over radio] Guys, when
it's time to start planning

the details of your wedding,
you and your fiancé'll

probably have to make some
compromises with each other.

But when it comes to
her engagement ring,

well, it's all about her.

- I'm t...
- [radio clicks off]

[sighs]

[Ashley] What's up, y'all?

Hey, sis, come on and sit down.

We finna show Sean The Wiz.

Sean's seen The Wiz.

Oh, he said he ain't seen The Wiz.

Sean, you remember The Wizard of Oz

with Michael Jackson?

- Ease on down.
- [Ashley] See?

He doesn't know that
there's a white Wizard of Oz.

- sh*t, you know what?
- [Earl] Checks out.

I think it's the way that my mama asked,

that's what made it weird.

- Right, the way that...
- That's what happened.

Yeah, she said "colored."

No, what I think it is

is that y'all tryin' to play me.

No! You know my mama. That was my mama.

All right, well, it's
time to take you home.

We have to have a talk about his dad.

- [Earl] Oh, sh*t. All right.
- [Ashley] Yeah.

Well, you know, let us know

if you need anything,
'cause we right here.

Thanks.

- You ready?
- Yep.

Bye, baby.

- [Earl] Peace out, man.
- [Trish] Told y'all...

[Janelle] Girl, you
shut up. You shut...

[ethereal music plays]

♪ ♪

Hey.

Time for bed. Go brush your teeth.

♪ ♪

Straight to bed, okay?
I'm gonna come tuck you in.

♪ ♪

Hey.

Time to get into bed.

You okay?

Yeah.

I wanna talk to you about your dad.

Sean, your dad isn't going
to be home for a while.

Why?

Your dad...

your dad is...

He got sent away... to jail.

Do you remember about jail?

From when your uncle went?

Well, your dad had to go too.

He didn't want to, and he loves you,

and you'll be able to
visit him every week.

But your dad is going
to be there for a while.

Why is he in jail? What did he do?

It's complicated, baby.

He just tried to do the right thing

at a really bad time.

But he's not a bad person.

How long will he be in there?

Five years.

That's a long time, Mom!

He'll miss my birthday!

I know. I know. I know.

But we'll get to visit
him, and he'll call.

And we'll keep him in our hearts, okay?

Until he gets home?

I miss him.

I know you do.

So do I.

But I love you.

Do you wanna read?

Okay.

♪ ♪

The Night Dad Went to Jail.

"This is one of my before drawings.

Before means before
my dad went to jail."

"Dad and I didn't catch anything,

"but we had fun anyway.

"My dad calls me Sketch
because I like to draw.

"Miss Sanchez, my school counselor,

"says drawing is a good way
for me to show my feelings.

"I must have a lot of feelings.

"Dad and I didn't catch anything,

but we had fun anyway."

[somber music plays]

♪ ♪

[Earl] Hey, have you
ever really watched...

- [Janelle] sh*t! What the hell?
- Have you ever really

- watched Paddington ?
- [Janelle] What?

It's about a bear in
a white neighborhood

that gets the cops called on him,

and then he goes to jail,
and then-and then he's a chef!

This...

I'm Paddington! This is hella Black.

Sean is, like, a little
honey brown genius.

[chuckles]

I'm goin' to bed.

Um, you seen my journal?

Um, you put it back here.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, oh, oh, um,

don't forget to-to
export the thang thang?

Remember you told me to tell you.

Oh, yeah.

I definitely forgot. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, no, for sure.

[sentimental jazz music playing]

♪ ♪

Oh, my Go... I also
hate making marmalade!

That's...

Marmalade is so hard to make!

♪ ♪