02x07 - Battle of the Bands

[bunniefuu]

- Hey, honey.

- Hi.

- What you got there? - Oh, it's a wonderful painting by an up-and-coming artist named, huh, Amy Duncan.

That's right.

Hey, you had your first art class tonight.

- How'd that go? - I don't know, you tell me.

Ba-bam.

- What is it? - It's obvious.

Oh! Oh, I know.

It's three eggs in a nest.

No, wait.

No, it's a baked potato with three pats of butter.

Dad, you see that in every painting.

Oh, I think it's baby chicks eating out of a football.

Lemons, okay? It's a bowl of lemons.

Oh.

You people have no appreciation for art.

Oh, come on, honey.

Honey.

- What? - Come on, you know what they say If life gives you a bowl of lemons That's not very well painted Then you should make make dinner? Good save, dad.

Day's all burnt toast ♪ running late and dad says ♪ "has anybody seen my left shoe?" ♪ close my eyes, take a bite ♪ grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪ there it is up on the roof ♪ I've been there, i've survived ♪ so just take my advice ♪ hang in there, baby ♪ things got crazy ♪ but I know your future's bright ♪ hang in there, baby ♪ there's no maybe ♪ everything turns out all right ♪ your life is up and down ♪ but trust me, it comes back around ♪ you're gonna love who you turn out to be ♪ hang in there, baby.

♪ - Hey, guys.

- What are you doing here? Did you come to see me sign up for the battle of the bands? Or maybe Teddy bear is here to see me.

Okay, so the topic is "insane reasons why Teddy's at the mall.

" No no no, i'm here to sign up for battle of the bands.

- You have a band? - Yes, I do.

My friend Skyler and I have been working on some music.

Oh no Spencer.

- Man, if he's in this thing, we are toast.

- He's a complete package with the singing, the dancing and the sparkly smiling.

Excuse me.

Hey, guys.

- Hey.

- Mm-hmm.

So you're you're you have a band now? - No, I'm gonna perform alone.

- Huh.

Because this is battle of the bands and I'm pretty sure the word "band" implies group, I.E., more than one.

I mean, I could be wrong, but I don't don't think so.

Actually, I called and they said I could perform alone Something about drawing a bigger crowd.

No, I don't know.

I should get back in line, so good luck.

You know something? His teeth were not that sparkly.

That's just what I was thinking.

Dude, we're gonna win this thing because we are so insane.

- We're so insane.

Fist bump.

- Up top.

- Fist fist bump.

Up top.

- Up top.

Fist bump.

- Okay, stop stop stop.

- We've done this before.

Oh, wait.

- Hey.

- Hey.

What you got there? A brand-new mytab.

My best friend Lucas gave it to me.

Lucas? Never heard of him.

How long have you guys been best friends? Since 3:00 today when he gave me this mytab.

Sounds like he's trying to buy your friendship.

Well, it worked.

Well, it's too expensive a gift.

- You're gonna have to give it back.

- What? Why? You shouldn't choose your friends because of the stuff they have.

Now how would you like it if people only liked you because you had nice things? Why don't I keep this and we'll test your theory? Gabe, if you won't give it back, I will.

Fine.

Fine, dad.

I don't need this thing.

I have plenty of other great games to play with.

Like this.

You disgust me.

Okay.

- Shall we? - Shall we what? Rehearse the song.

- Oh! Right.

- Yeah.

Duh! What else would we do? Airhead! - Shall we? - Shall we what? Oh! One, two, one, two, three.

I've been holding on ♪ till I see your face ♪ been there and gone ♪ and I own my mistakes ♪ time stands still ♪ I like girls who are hot hot hot ♪ better than girls who are not not not ♪ excuse me! Excuse me! Guys, we are trying to rehearse! So are we.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm I'm P.J.

- I'm Skyler.

- I'm Emmett.

- Maybe you guys should go rehearse somewhere else? - Or we could.

- Skyler dear, a word.

See, we were here first, so if anyone's leaving, it's them.

Now you have to back me up on this, okay? - Got it.

- Okay.

- We were here first.

- Yeah! - And we're not leaving.

- Yeah! - We're not leaving either.

- Yeah! Okay, only after I say stuff.

Got it.

Skyler, let's go.

We have a contest to win.

Yeah, well, so do we.

I wanna know what you dream ♪ I wanna know what you wish ♪ I like girls who are hot hot hot ♪ better than girls who are not not not!♪ I wanna know if you care! ♪ three, two, one.

Hello, Mrs.

dabney.

Look at us, Charlie.

Aren't we a couple of artists? We are.

Come here.

Oh, that's my girl.

Now what is this? - A tree.

- A tree.

It is a tree.

Okay.

Now what are you painting? - Tree.

- A tree? No, honey, mommy's is a tree, yours is just a bunch of squiggly lines, okay? Okay, but you know what? We're gonna put it on the wall anyway.

Put it right there.

A tree.

I don't think so.

Bob honey, could you clean up Charlie? I live for it.

Val! Oh my goodness.

What a surprise.

- Please please, come in.

- I came to talk to you about art class.

- Yeah.

- As you can probably tell by my aura I bring bad news.

- What? What is it? - Come.

Amy, I have been teaching art for many years, and I've always believed that everybody has artistic ability, no matter how deeply buried.

And then I met you.

What? You don't think I have talent? Oh! Your words, not mine.

Although if I were to use words, I'd choose those.

Well, uh, give me another chance.

What is that?! Oh! It's glorious! What passion! What vibrancy! Oh, Amy, you paint with a Joy that's almost childlike.

- Well, actually - It's genius! Thank you.

This is what you should be focusing on Abstract work.

Thank you.

I call it "Tree." - Hi.

- Hi.

- Is Teddy here? - Actually, she's not home yet.

- Come on in.

- Thanks.

Oh, I liked your song yesterday.

Oh! Oh, thanks.

Yeah, I like it too.

No, I mean I liked your song too.

Well, I I didn't really hear it, but I like your hair.

Thanks.

I like your hair too.

It must be nice for your girlfriend to have a boyfriend who has such great hair.

I don't have a girlfriend.

- Oh, that's too bad.

- Yeah.

But, umm If you want to tell your boyfriend that I don't have a girlfriend, I'm cool with that.

I don't have a boyfriend.

Bummer.

- Sorry I'm late.

- Oh, no problem.

- P.J.'S been keeping me company.

- Sorry about that too.

All right.

Come on, let's rehearse.

Hey, don't bother us.

Yeah, don't bother us.

Dad, this is Gabe's dad.

- Hey, I'm Bob.

- Nice to meet you.

I'm Bruce.

Wow, this is This is quite the room you've got here.

- Yeah.

- Oh man! - Star squadron? - Yeah yeah, I've got kind of a thing - for old arcade games.

- Wow.

You know, if I had a trayful of tacos and a root beer, this would be like High School all over again.

Albert, can I get a trayful of tacos and some root beer? Thanks.

You're kidding, right? I never kid about tacos, Bob.

I was just about to watch the game.

You wanna join me? Oh, this is awesome! Oh oh oh, Bob, what was it you wanted to talk to me about? Oh, I just wanted to Oh! Here comes the taco boat.

Umm, I I-I I just wanted to say how happy I am that Gabe and Lucas and you and me - are best friends.

- Oh.

Gabe, I thought it over, - and here.

- Y-you're gonna let me keep it? Why'd you change your mind? Because I'm not an unreasonable man.

In fact, I'm so not unreasonable, I accepted one myself.

Not-not not that I'm complaining, but you're sending me some mixed messages here.

I like to think of them as flexible messages.

You saw the den, didn't you? I had two trays of tacos.

And we're gonna have more this Sunday, because we got invited over to watch the football game.

Welcome to the dark side.

We've been expecting you.

Oh, Spencer, have you seen Skyler anywhere? Nope, but it's almost time for me to win I mean compete in battle of the bands, - so I should get going.

- Right.

Thanks for your help.

Clump nugget.

Oh, Skyler, there you are.

I've been looking all over for you.

Oh, I was in the photo booth.

Yup yup, I see that now.

Come on, we have to get going.

It's almost time for us to go Actually, I don't want to do the contest anymore.

- What? Why not? - Well, because I don't want to compete against my boyfriend.

Boyfriend? Who's your boyfriend? No.

No.

No! Yes yes yes.

And so you guys are a couple? That's right, P.J.'S my dude.

- And Skyler's my lady.

- Mm-hmm.

And Teddy's gonna hurl.

Wha so that's why you don't want to do battle of the bands? - Because you're a couple? - That's right, 'cause competing against each other would not be good for our relationship.

- But what about our song? - You can sing it.

- But it's a duet.

- So? So I can't "du-et" without you.

- Hey, guys.

What's going on? - Hey, man.

I'll tell you what's going on.

P.J.

And Skyler are a couple and now they don't want to do battle of the bands.

What? After all our hard work? I even asked my mom to come.

Well, sorry to disappoint her.

Oh no, it's okay.

She said no.

Come on.

Come on, Charlie.

- One painting for mama? - I tired.

Okay, come on, Charlie.

Just one little painting and you can go back to sleep.

Hey, what's Charlie doing up? I just put her down for a nap.

Oh, well, I guess she just got her second wind.

I tired.

Don't know where that came from.

All right.

What's going on? Why are you acting crazier than usual? My art teacher came over to tell me that I stink.

Okay, I'm with you so far.

Then she took one look at Charlie's painting and loved it, so You took the credit for it.

Well, I made Charlie, so in a way, I made that painting.

Honey, by that logic, I made that painting too.

Really? You carried that painting around inside of you for nine months? What? Bob, I just wanna be the best at what I do.

Honey, you are the best at a lot of things.

You're the best nurse.

You're the best mommy.

You're the best wife.

- Go on.

- Okay.

I'll tell you what why don't we put Charlie to bed and then you and I can cuddle? Because you are also the best at that.

I tired.

I can't keep chasing you around ♪ all of this running is just bringing me ♪ down ♪ it's got me down ♪ every time i look at you ♪ the angels sing ♪ I hope you hear them too ♪ oh, I hope you hear them too ♪ got me feeling hypnotized ♪ and, girl, it makes me feel alive ♪ well, would you look at that Our ex-boyfriend's gonna win this thing.

I don't care.

I have a new boyfriend.

You could too.

It just it makes me so mad.

Because you two became an annoying couple, we can't compete.

- Wait a minute.

- Ooh, I know that look.

She's getting an idea.

I never get that look.

Me neither! Aww.

Oh! Man, I'm looking forward to tonight.

- Oh yeah, it should be a good game.

- Game-shmame.

There's a rumor Albert made fresh guacamole.

The rumor is true.

Dad, I wanna go home.

What? It's almost kick-off.

We were playing "witches versus warlocks 3" - and he said I cheated.

- Because you did cheat.

I did not cheat.

I b*at you.

- Because you cheated! - Take it easy, guys.

- But, dad! - Lucas.

Come with me.

Dad, I didn't cheat.

- Really? - Yes! Look, I've cheated before.

I'm good at it.

If I had really cheated, he would not have known about it.

This is an insult to my cheating - and I will not stand for it! - Okay okay, all right.

I think I understand.

Couldn't you just say you cheated? You want me to apologize for something I didn't do? Albert made fresh guacamole.

Bob, my boy's pretty upset.

Now why don't you just have Gabe apologize to Lucas, so that you and I can enjoy the game? No, I believe my boy, Bruce.

If he said he didn't cheat, he didn't cheat.

- Thanks dad.

- Yeah, well, I think we should get going.

You know, Bob, I admire that you stood up for your son.

- So you want us to stay? - No.

Keeping the mytab.

All right! Yeah! Okay, now our next band is P.J.

And the vibe, plus Teddy and Skyler.

Um, this is a song about new love and how people find each other, even though it might annoy someone's sister.

I've been looking for ♪ someone who can see ♪ who I really am ♪ what's inside of me ♪ I like girls who are hot hot hot ♪ better than girls who are not not not! ♪ you're not the smartest guy ♪ that I ever met ♪ but you're really cute ♪ and I'm desperate ♪ I'm the guy that you got got got ♪ thanks for overlooking a lot lot lot ♪ - I'm desperate ♪ - And I'm hot hot hot ♪ - I'm desperate - Thanks for the sh*t sh*t sh*t ♪ - I'm desperate ♪ - And I'm hot hot hot ♪ - thanks for the sh*t sh*t sh*t - For you.

♪ oh! I did not expect that.

All right! Give it up for P.J., Tyler, Skyler and whatever.

Oh.

Okay, the judges have made their final decision.

In third place, the winner of the $100 gift certificate to skateboard jungle is The guitar geezers.

Great job, fellas.

And now let's bring out our two finalists.

Spencer Walsh, come on up.

P.J.

And them, y'all come on over here too.

Come on.

All right, and the winner of the $500 shopping spree is Teddy and Skyler plus P.J.

And the vibe! - Congratulations.

- Thanks.

Clump nugget.

- Teddy, you just hugged me.

- Yeah, I know.

- I'm just really happy.

- Oh no, I'm cool with that.

Hey, Charlie, you remember my old boyfriend Spencer, right? Totally stomped him in battle of the bands! Did it feel good? Yes.

Yes, ma'am, it did.

- It also felt - Hey, do you want to keep it down over there? What are you doing? We are watching the big game in the comfort of our own hot tub, which is every bit as good as being over - at Bruce and Lucas's house.

- No, it's not.

I know it's not.

Sometimes I wonder if recording moments like this is just gonna scar you.

I guess we'll find out later.

Good luck, Charlie.

Oh, this is the life.

Yup, nothing like it.

We even have our own Butler.

Speaking of which.

Let's go! These glasses aren't gonna fill themselves! I tired.

Yeah yeah, okay.

More root beer.

Good help is so hard to find.

Bubbles? I didn't see you turn them on.

I didn't.

Three trays of tacos, you gonna get some bubbles.