01x07 - Adorable Returns

[bunniefuu]

And in weather, it's icky and
sticky here in Monstropolis,

with high temperatures continuing
over the next few days. Don.

Thanks, Lisa. As you can see,
in nearby Monstrocity,

it's already well into the s,
with humidity at %.

(CHUCKLES) This is a good one.

Hey, Duncan, who's that
right next to you, huh, huh?

That's your biggest fan.

Oh, wow. Don't quit your
day job, College Boy.

(PURRS)

Phew! That machine shop's hot,

but not nearly as hot as
my former husbands.

Pierre. Sheldon. Oh. Ricardo.

VAL: Heads up!

- (EXHALES) Thanks, Val.
- VAL: No problem.

Just finishing off my Drooler
Cooler Tower of Coolness.

- (RATTLING)
- (VAL GASPS)

Aw. Just when it was getting cool.

- Aw.
- Sad, sweaty sigh.

Sounds like it'll be monstrously
hot today. (LAUGHS)

Right, Don? Don?

(GURGLING)

Somebody get a mop!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Half full? (GROANS) That was
some of my best belching.

I gave her the (BELCHES) and
the (BELCHES) and the classic...

(LONG BELCH)

(SMACKS LIPS)

Oh. Smells like you've had
stench toast for breakfast, sir.

(ALARM RINGING)

- MIKE: Hey, what's going on?
- Mike, with this heat,

we need to figure out a way
to generate more laugh power.

- Suggestions?
- How about a Laugh Extractor?

Too soon, Fungus.

This is serious.

If we don't get more jokesters ASAP,
we'll lose business to Fear Co.

- Right. More jokesters.
- CELIA: Right away.

And I know just where to find them.

(SCREAMS)

You think this is hot? I lived
for a while in Scarizona.

Brutal. So to stay cool, I'd close
my eyes and think of cold stuff.

We're best buds now.

- Trust me.
- TYLER: No! Stop!

- You'll get us k*lled.
- VAL: Thinking of cold stuff,

- like snowflakes, ice cream...
- Stop! No!

- ... my refrigerator, chocolate milkshakes.
- TYLOR: Sorry!

Cadavers, hypothermia.

Ha-ha! See? I'm feeling cooler already.

Don't... (GAGS) do that again.

Oh, boy. See that up there?

In heat like this, we
get thermal expansion.

The doors jam on the tracks.

- (IMITATES CLUNKING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER PA)

Wait, wait, wait. Quiet, quiet, quiet.

WOMAN OVER PA: Repeat, all
comedy class participants

report to the Laugh Floor immediately.

Did you hear that?
That's me. Laugh Floor.

But I need help with the...

- Sorry, can't hear you. Bye-bye. I'm already gone.
- (SIGHS)

Attention. (CLEARS THROAT)

Now, listen to me.

I don't care if it's a giggle,
a chortle, a guffaw, a tee-hee,

we need laugh energy,
and we need it now.

Mary, all five eyes on me.

Chuck, all four arms at your side.

Kaitlyn, you ooze, you lose.

You may not be official jokesters,
but power demand is high.

So your mission, make kids laugh.

This is awesome.

- I brought my liquid-emitting flower.
- MIKE: Tuskmon!

- Sir!
- Are you funny, Tuskmon?

Yes, sir! I'm very funny, sir!

My nana talks funnier than that.

(IN BABY VOICE) Yes, sir!
I'm very funny, sir!

Actually, that's pretty funny.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) That's my baby
voice. Been working on it for a while.

You should use that on the Laugh Floor.

How long do I have
to hold you like this?

Oh. Sorry, Sulley. Props!

This is your official Monsters
Inc. issue comedy equipment.

Please return them in the
condition you received them.

- (CHUCKLES) Score! Naked poultry.
- (TOY SQUEAKS)

Uh, excuse me, sorry, Carla? Tylor
Tuskmon here with Monster News.

Uh, any last words before
I'm number one on that board?

And go ahead and speak
into the chicken clearly.

(SQUEAKS)

Honey, your naked chicken needs a mint.

(SNIFFS) Ugh.

All right, jokesters, get ready
to make those kids laugh.

If you fail, Monstropolis will
suffer a catastrophic blackout.

But if you do succeed,

whoever's number one on the leaderboard

will officially become a jokester.

Wow. It is crazy to see my name
on the leaderboard. (LAUGHS)

Uh, no offense, Carla,

but nothing's gonna stop me
from being number one up there.

(ALARM RINGING)

We have an inbound door check
malfunction on Laugh Floor F.

I need a work order ASAP.

Oh. Ms. Mae, I'm with MIFT.

- I can fix it. Give me two seconds.
- CELIA: Perfect.

Number one on that board,
comin' right back.

I told you we should've
checked it earlier.

You should really listen to me.

Okay! It's good! Get the power on.

- Come on, come on!
- Not until you're safely down.

Just turn it on. I gotta
get back on that floor.

Jokester, remember? Turn it on.

- Mm.
- Thank you. All fixed. Bye.

- (GASPS)
- Oh, no!

(EXCLAIMS)

Oh, no.

- TYLOR: Turn it off! Turn it off!
- VAL: Look out!

Val! Val!

- Val!
- VAL: Tylor!

(TYLOR GRUNTS)

(EXCLAIMS)

No, no! Oh, no!

(SCREAMING)

No, no! No!

(SCREAMING)

(EXCLAIMS)

What is that? That's not...
That's not a kid's door.

Uh...

(GRUNTING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(TOY SQUEAKS)

Slow down, slow down. What
do you mean, Ty-Ty is trapped?

- VAL: He got pulled into the door track.
- FRITZ: The door track?

- No time to explain. Gotta go, gotta go.
- FRITZ: Val! Val! Val!

Find our Ty-Ty!

(WIND WHISTLING)

(MONSTER GROWLING)

(GRUNTS)

- (MONSTER LAUGHS)
- (CHAIN SAW REVS)

(GRUNTING)

No.

Welcome to the Himalayas!

Tylor!

Tylor!

(DISTANT CHUCKLING)

(INDISTINCT LAUGHING)

Tylor?

Yeah, ice sculptures.
You gotta have a hobby.

Well, in this case, it's more of an art.

I call this one Yak in Winter Three.

Yeah. I... I'm sorry, how did
I end up hanging upside down?

Oh, you fainted. I had to
get the blood to your head.

I recognize you.

Anyway, Yak in Winter One and Two,
now they were equally impressive.

(CHUCKLES) Wanna try
it? Watch your fingers.

- Don't breathe in the fumes.
- No, no!

Come on. What are you afraid of?

You. I'm afraid of you.

- Me?
- You're Abominable. You were banished.

"Abominable"? Why can't they
call me the "Adorable Snowman"?

And why "snowman", huh?

I'm not made of snow.
I'm not even a man.

If you're here, and I'm here,

that was a banishment door.

(INDISTINCT LAUGHING)

(VAL GASPS)

- Uh, snow cone? It's non-dairy.
- I gotta get back. I can't be here.

- I'm not banished. I shouldn't be...
- Lemon-flavored.

Sorry. Has anybody ever actually
gotten back from here?

- Ah, sure. Few weeks ago. Or was it years?
- There's gotta be something.

A one-eyed green ball and a big,
blue furry fellow were here.

Now they were in a hurry to get
back, too. What a coinkydink.

- You mean Mike and Sulley?
- Yeah! Now I remember.

Used to work with them in the mail room.

- They made it back, they're in charge now.
- Good for them.

Ha. So they made it back.

Yeah, I miss that place.

Handing out all the mail, seeing
all the monsters around the office.

But at least livin' here
just got better.

- It did?
- Sure did, cave-mate.

Oh, I don't know about cave-mate.

Hey, I got a spare grotto.

Rent's very reasonable.

Hey, you can pay me in yak
dung. First, make sure it's dry.

(VAL GASPS)

Val?

Another roomie!

You're the...

Adorable Snowman.

I heard you ate some guy
in Monsters Resources.

- Who? Dale?
- That's what I heard.

I didn't eat Dale. Dale quit.

Went to school to become
a massage therapist.

Which I'm like, "You
need a school for that?"

Uh, yeah. Nine months.
And a lot of money.

- Yeah, I'm misunderstood.
- Oh.

But now, I got some friends
that understand me.

- Oh.
- Hey! I'll get some games.

We can play Pin the Tail on a Yak
or Name That Yak or Yakopoly.

Yakopoly? I love games, too.

- Okay, we gotta get back. Let's go.
- Let's stay.

- Stay? What? No.
- Come on, Tylor.

What do you wanna spend
the rest of your life here?

Please, can we stay?
Please, please, please.

- Please, please...
- TYLOR: No. No. No.

- Please.
- I'm missing my big chance. Come on.

But I feel bad. He seems
too nice to be banished.

Must've done something. Not my problem.

- You know what?
- No.

- I'm gonna find out why.
- Great! Awesome You do you.

There you are, Ty-Ty.
You had me worried sick.

- Give me a hug.
- No. No, no.

No time. Gotta get to the Laugh Floor.

- Hug.
- Double hug.

Triple hug!

(ALL EXCLAIM)

What's he doing here? He stole
/ cars from the parking lot.

No, he was banished for drinking
screams directly from the canisters.

Is this true?

What would I do with half a car?

Oh, who knows the twisted criminal mind?

He's gotta go. Assisting or harboring

a banished monster is
punishable by banishment.

"Banishment"?

And you definitely can't hide them
in your apartment for months.

Not that I would know.

- Wait. Where'd he go?
- I don't know. I don't care.

I gotta get up to the Laugh Floor.
I'm missing my big chance.

(CHUCKLES) You think
I'm scared, but I'm not.

We've got to catch him
or we're all going down.

"We"?

Come on. Faster, faster.

- Come on.
- ADORABLE: Hey, Giant Eye!

- Late night last night?
- How did...

Lookin' a little bloodshot, pal.

No. You can't be here.
You're gonna get me banished.

If you do get banished, you can ignore
the shoebox under the ice couch.

I keep my toenail clippings in there.

I was thinking about making a necklace.

If and when I find a Mrs. Adorable.

It's great to be back. And
this place hasn't changed a bit.

(CHUCKLES) Except Thomas has
put on a couple of pounds.

- Thomas?
- Now, time to find Mike and Sulley.

No. You can't see them right now.

They're very busy. They're
very, very busy right now.

- Oh. Hi. Hi, Ms. Flint.
- Hi.

MS. FLINT: You look familiar.

- Because today I was on the Laugh Floor...
- No, not you. Him.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Him? No. No, no.

He's my, um, dad.

Isn't that right? Dad?

Well, it's possible. I mean...
(CHUCKLES) There was this one time...

We don't need to get into the details.

All right. Come on, let's go.

It was great to see you, Ms. Flint.

I'm sure I'll see you
on the Laugh Floor.

Dad just walked off.

He did? He did. (CHUCKLES)

Dad!

This is how I caught my second
husband. Impossible to escape.

How'd he get out?

He got out?

I'm sorry. The Door Division is
currently busy. Please hold.

Hey, Otis, you got a promotion!

(YELPS)

Were you un-banished?

Not officially. It's a habeas
corpus issue, really.

Excuse me. I just need to
drop off my son's lunch.

(CHUCKLING) He left it at home.

Hey, you sound familiar.
Have you ever been banished?

Uh, oops. Sorry. Excuse me.
We're just on our way...

- Tylor.
- Oh. Dad?

You forgot your lunch, knucklehead.

Uh, oh. Thank you. Uh, see
you later. Come on, Dad.

Huh? "Dad"?

Uh, oh, yeah, right. His
nickname is Dad. (CHUCKLES)

Weird. See you later, Dad.

All right, come on, let's go. Dad?

Uh... Daddy? Dad!

Tuskmon, shouldn't you
be on the Laugh Floor?

Just a little problem. Just fixing
a little problem. (STUTTERS)

I'll be right back.

- Needleman, Smitty. Have you guys seen...
- Santa?

- No, not Santa. No.
- See? I told you it wasn't Santa.

It was just some tall, white, furry guy.

Uh, furry guy. Right. Where'd he go?

- (GASPS)
- Mike's got another parking ticket.

I enjoy reading unopened mail.

Makes me feel like I
have actual friends.

Oh, yeah, no, that's very interesting,
and most likely illegal.

But, um, hey, look, I was
thinking, random thought. Uh...

Mike and Sulley would love to have

one of your famous snow cones, right?

- Am I right?
- There's a good idea.

Yeah. Nothing says "Un-banish me"

like a cold snow cone on a hot day.

So, let's go. Let's keep it moving.

Okay, here we are. Here we are.

You, uh, comin' with me?

Oh. Uh, no, no. You go. Just you.

I'm gonna stay here.

Make sure nothing goes wrong
with the, um, old door, so...

Oh. Yeah, yeah. Good thinking.

(BOTH EXCLAIM)

(SQUEAKS)

ROZE: So you wanna know why
this Abominable was banished?

I searched all the files,

but everything of Waternoose's
was wiped clean.

And since Roz knew everything
that went on around here,

and she was number one, I thought
I'd come to... number two?

Hmm...

ADORABLE: Yaks mostly
eat grass and wildflowers,

and some people think
they have four stomachs.

But they really have one stomach
with four compartments.

- Really?
- And the milk... Delicious.

But you know what really
gets the taste buds hoppin'?

- Mm...
- Yak yogurt.

Okay, could you just stop with
the yak yakking yak? Okay? Please?

(SIGHS)

Today was my big chance
to be a jokester.

"Jokester"? What's a jokester?

That's right. You don't... (SIGHS)

It's laugh power now.
No more scare power.

- Really?
- I was gonna be a Scarer,

but now my only chance to get on
that floor is to make a kid laugh.

Yeah, I know how you feel, kid.

But when life throws you a
snowball, make snow cones.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Okay. Back in you go.

Hey, thanks for lettin' us down.

(SCREAMS) If you're gonna
eat someone, eat her first.

Don't know who put this snare
here, but watch your step.

That's a safety hazard.

Okay, you should really
get going now, all right?

You go get those snow cones,
all right? For Mike and Sulley.

And you.

You need to get to that
Laugh Floor, future jokester.

You know,

it's really nice.

Nice?

Nice havin' someone
that's got your back.

Tylor, you're a good friend.

(SIGHS)

Well, back where he belongs,
and good riddance.

(WHIRRING)

What?

If you have something to say, say it.

I didn't think so.

- VAL: (GASPS) Double T.
- Val, I... I gotta go.

I found out why he was banished.

- No.
- He didn't eat Dale, or steal cars,

- or drink screams. He never hurt anybody.
- (SIGHS)

I don't understand. Then
why was he be banished?

He saw a letter from Waternoose

about plans for a machine that
would extract screams from kids.

Oh. He knew about the Scream Extractor.

After that, Waternoose
banished him for life.

But he just wanted a friend.

MIKE: Hey, Tylor, get in here.

We've just about met the power demand,

and you're not even on the board.

The kid loved it. You should
have heard him laugh.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Who knew Carla and that liquid-emitting
flora was so funny? (CHUCKLES)

- I love surprises.
- I, uh...

I gotta go.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

(WHIRRING)

(CHIMES)

(SIGHS)

(MACHINE BEEPS)

Mr. Tuskmon, you're good to go.

Uh...

Sorry.

Here.

(DOOR CHIMES)

Uh-oh. Sulley, this door
looks very familiar.

- Snow cones for everybody!
- We've got lemon and lingonberry.

And zero-calorie snow-flavored.

Adorable, what are you doing here?

Perfect timing. Yum!

With this heat, I could sure use
one of those snow cones.

Guys, it's been years.

We were in your cave a month ago.

Yeah, but it's that's a
long time in Yeti years.

Snow cone?

What a way to cool off.

Mmm.

(LISPING) And these lemon
ones, they're a little tart.

(KISSES)

Makes my mouth feel funny.

Yeah, it was all my friend Tylor's idea.

Um, Sulley, Mike,

I feel like Adorable here has
been banished long enough.

More like unjustly
banished by Waternoose

for discovering the Scream Extractor.

Scream Extractor? (SCOFFS)

- No wonder he wanted to get rid of you.
- (MIKE SMACKS LIPS)

(LISPING) You shouldn't
have been banished,

you should've been rewarded.

You're right, Mike.

Adorable, now that I'm CEO
of Monsters Incorporated,

I hereby un-banish you.

You hear that? Officially un-banished.

- Whoo-hoo! Yes!
- And no more mail room for you.

You're getting a promotion as...

Official snow cone seller
of Monsters Incorporated.

- I'll have lemon.
- Make that two.

- There you go.
- Congratulations, Carla.

I'll see ya and your funny flower
tomorrow on the Laugh Floor.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, sorry you missed your chance.

Eh, I'll get another one.
It's me, remember?

Besides, when life throws
you a snowball,

you make a snow cone.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(MEN SCATTING)

(MEN VOCALIZING)

Okay, today we're going to discuss

the most crucial component of a joke.

In the business, it's known as the...

Kaitlyn... (CHUCKLES) You
need to wait until the...

No, no, we discussed this...

In rehearsal. (CLEARS THROAT)

Please don't... (IMITATES
PERCUSSIVE STING)

Until we... Until we get...

Until we get to the punch line!

(SIGHS)

This is where the giant
boxing glove is supposed...

(GROANS) Now, Kaitlyn. Now!

(PERCUSSIVE STING)

(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHEERFUL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)

ADORABLE: Say, did you hear
the one about the monster

who walked into the doctor's
office with a yak on his back?

The doctor says, "What's wrong?"

And the monster says, "I
think I've got a yak problem".

- (PERCUSSIVE STING)
- ADORABLE: Thanks, Kaitlyn!