02x05 - The New Girl

[bunniefuu]

Mr. And Mrs. Campbell,

I'm Dr. Stone.

And how are we today?

We're so pleased to be here.

My friend, Sara Driscoll,

her father is head of Obstetrics
at Lenox Hill.

She said you get results.

They got results.

Sometimes all a young couple needs
is a good old-fashioned hand-holding.

Have a seat, Mr. Campbell.

Now, I am going to ask you
some questions together

and more intimate ones separately.

How long have you been
trying to conceive?

Eighteen months.

That sounds like a long time. Is it?

Let's not worry about what's normal.

Everyone is different.

Are you two aware
of the principles of conception?

Of how the sperm meets the egg?

Yes.

Although if you'd like
to show us some films...

You'd be surprised.

Prior to the decision to conceive,
were you using birth control?

- She was.
- I used a diaphragm.

Although it's possible I didn't need to.

Mrs. Campbell.

So we're walking in the park after lunch,

and he sees these birds
picking seeds out of some horse sh*t,

and he says, "Move over, fellows.
That's my job."

That sounds like a visit
from the stork or De Beers.

Or it could be just a new hairdo.

Mr. Rumsen, Mr. Draper.

How are you this morning?

Joan. Morning.

Well, there's your answer.

- Ever had mumps?
- Yes.

How old were you?

Summer of '45...

11, 12.

Did your testicles descend normally?

Absolutely.

And have you ever fathered a child?

No.

Have you ever had difficulty
completing the sexual act?

Drinking doesn't help.

But no.

I always reach home base.

Do you have difficulties with arousal?

Jesus.

I'm a red-blooded American male, okay?

No one is questioning
your manhood, Mr. Campbell.

You could be a warrior,

an athlete, a bull of a man.

George Washington was sterile.

Fertility has nothing to do with manliness.

Do you want to have a child?

What kind of question is that?

Of course I do.

What man doesn't want a child?

Although you think
about the world right now.

The b*mb...

Do you worry about the world?

Occasionally.

Do you work with X-rays,
radioactive material,

or toxic chemicals?

I'm in advertising.

We got a Xerox machine,
but I don't use it.

Not personally.

Advertising?

Must be a lot of fun.

Are you kidding?

I'm an account man.

I spend half my day tiptoeing
around creative crybabies

and the other half drinking
with ungrateful turnips

who just fell off the truck.

I'm completely replaceable,

even though I just brought in
a huge account.

Then you throw this baby thing
on top of it,

the economy contracting, my in-laws...

Yes, it's a lot.

What about your parents?

My father just passed away.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Do you think that has
something to do with this?

It doesn't.

I mean...

I try not to think about it.

It's been a few months.

It is a difficult moment in the life cycle.

But we are part
of a continuum, aren't we?

So maybe I'm the end of the line.

Well, that'll do it, Mr. Campbell.

I think I feel better already.

Can you send in your wife?

And then I'd like you
to schedule a time with a nurse

for a semen analysis.

Whenever she's free.

Red and green are my colors,
so we're gonna do Christmas.

He doesn't know that yet.

I can cover Mr. Draper's desk for you.

I know you'll have your hands full.

You had your sh*t.

It's beautiful.

Miss Holloway,
those aren't wedding bells.

I'm so sorry, Mr. Draper.

Mr. Draper's office.

One moment, please.

Mr. Draper, Bobbie Barrett on line 1.

Thank you.

Don, I want you to ask me how I am.

How are you?

Where are you right now?

I'm in my office,

where you called me.

You sound a little tipsy.

We did it.

We sold Grin and Barrett.

Congratulations. You got an order?

No, but we're going to make a pilot.

I remember that because Jimmy said,

"Ask her. She's made
every pilot in town."

Come celebrate with me.

I'm at Sardi's, surrounded by clowns.

And why would I come?

I'm being ignored.
Come take up my time.

I'm working.

You provided key advice.

We can call it business.

No. Let's not confuse this.

I'm about to change my mind.

Thank you.

Was there even a party?

He'll have an old fashioned.

Buddy Hackett told Jimmy

that Gleason didn't have to make a pilot,

so Jimmy went home to sulk,

and the rest went out
to celebrate that they ruined his day.

So here we are.

I expect him to get this way
when it's bad,

but when it's good?

Maybe he doesn't understand
how big this is.

No, he does.

It's the big opportunity
he's bound to ruin.

Mr. Draper.

Miss Menken.

Actually, it's Mrs. Katz.

- This is my husband Tilden.
- Pleasure.

Mr. Draper's firm did some work
for us a while back.

Advertising.

I'm Bobbie Barrett.

I'm sorry.

Mrs. Barrett's husband
is a comedian who works with me.

Nice to meet you.

Tilden. I love comedians.

So, how are things at Grey?

Are they still taking credit
for everything we did?

He's all business, isn't he?

Now, Rach, we don't
want to miss the curtain.

We have seats for
A Funny Thing Happened.

Oh, it's wonderful.

Well, you two enjoy working together.

Nice to meet you.

So, I would like some really good chow.

Shall we go elsewhere?

We can.

Does feel a little cloudy in here right now.

No, it's fine.

So, tell me what I want.

Steak tartare.

Oh, my God, you're good.

Hearts of palm salad. Steak tartare.

I always order for Jimmy.

Watch the money.

Otherwise he ends up
sporting for people we don't know.

He doesn't realize that being a big sh*t
means you don't have to pay.

I think you're wrong about that.

In the end, we're
in different businesses, okay?

To a nice price on the pilot.

And I boxed them in for 39
on the air if they order.

You should have seen my neckline.

You really do his business, don't you?

If it wasn't for me,
it wouldn't be Grin and Barrett.

It'd be Grin and Brownstein.

This is America.

Pick a job and then become
the person that does it.

Well, that's true.

Right after I met Jimmy,

I watched somebody's Uncle Morty

close a deal for him,

and I realized
I negotiate for everything...

the rent, the plumber, my hairdresser.

I even did it in a department store once.

It's touchy because
you're really telling somebody

they're not worth what they think.

But you can't hurt their feelings.

Negotiating is a bore.

It's hand-to-hand combat.

You don't like negotiating.

What the hell do you like?

What do you mean?

Doesn't have to be in business.

I'll take anything.

You can't even answer.

The answer is huge.

I don't think so.

Do you like the ocean?

Yes.

Yes, I do.

I have a little place in Stony Brook,
right on the shore.

I want to have you on the beach.

Feel the cold sand on my back
with the surf pounding behind us.

I can smell the ocean.

I love bridges.

I don't know if it's the drop

or just because
you get to see something

disappearing behind you.

Do you like bridges?

I do.

That's two things you like.

What else?

Movies.

Yes. Spartacus?

You seen the foreign ones?

So sexy.

Yes.

Why is it so hard to just enjoy things?

God, I feel so good.

I don't feel a thing.

You all right?

Yeah.

I think so.

Are you okay in there?

Mr. Draper, your wife says
that the whiskey was hers.

But you did fail the sobriety test.

You're at the legal limit...

. 15 percent.

The fine's $150.

May I?

I have $63 and some subway tokens.

I'll mail you the rest.

I need you to pay the fine tonight.

Or I can put you up.

Let me call a cab,
and I'll send an employee

out here with the $500
tomorrow morning.

I bet you would, too.

No, it's just 150.

It's within my rights to detain you.

What is the problem?

People's kids are out on that road, sir.

Call somebody.

Or maybe your wife has a friend.

I have $110.

It's all I could get short notice.

If you're going to be sick,
please tell me.

This is my brother-in-law's car.

I put $2.00 worth of gas in it.

I don't want to have to clean it, too.

Mr. Draper, I think
you should keep her awake.

Bobbie, stay up!

What?

What do you think?

Are you feeling okay?

You can drop me off at Grand Central.

Bobbie, what do you want to do?

Jimmy can't see me this way.

I should check in somewhere,

see how the shiner does.

Peggy, do you have a roommate?

No.

I don't know.

No, you should stay with me.

Just for the night, if you want.

Mr. Draper, you need to rent a car.

I can take you to LaGuardia.

Idlewild is better.

The Cross Island or the Belt Parkway.

It's faster to take the Grand Central
to LaGuardia.

I don't have any clothes.

I wish I was your size.

Do you have any dry cleaning?

I'll pick it up.

In the city.

I'll go in and get it first thing.

Okay?

Hello.

Leave her alone.

No one in the office can know about this.

It's business.

You'll have to believe me
that I'll forget this.

I don't want you treating me badly
because I remind you of it.

This can be fixed.

Where the hell were you?

I was in an accident.

What? Are you okay?

What happened?

By the time I could call,
I didn't want to wake you.

Wake...

Wake me?

I've been awake all night.

I knew something was wrong.

I could feel it.

I went to the doctor a while ago,
and I have high blood pressure.

What the hell, Don?

It's fine, except...

he gave me a prescription,

and I think the pills
mixed with the drinks was too much.

I lost control of the car.

Jesus. How could you
not tell me about this?

I didn't want to worry you.

I've been up all night.

And now I find out you're sick
and you could have d*ed?

What did you want me to do?

Have you come down there?

Ask Francine in the middle of the night
to watch the kids

because your husband's
in the drunk t*nk?

Who cares if I couldn't help you?

You should call me.

I'm your wife.

I was solving a problem, Bets.

I need a clear head.

You can't get all hysterical.

I didn't know you were waiting up.

You promised you wouldn't
disappear like that anymore.

I have to get changed and go in.

You're going to the office?

I don't want anyone to know about this.

I rented a car. I'll have to get my car.

I don't care about the car, Don.

My father has high blood pressure.

I'll swing by Dr. McLattery on the way in.

Just help me get dressed, okay?

You can fend without me.

I'm at a fat farm.

One of your friends
made a cr*ck about my ass.

It doesn't matter who.

Well, we're gonna be
all over the television,

and the camera adds 10 pounds.

No. You look fine.

Jimmy, stop.

You and I both know

you should have behaved
yourself last night.

I will.

I couldn't find an ashtray.

What's all this?

I thought you might be hungry.

It'll ruin my alibi.

I need cottage cheese and champagne.

I'm joking.

Do you mind if I lay down
for a few minutes?

I'm not used to being up all night.

Of course, dear.

And I got this to keep me company.

I'll make up the couch for you.

You must be b*at, too.

I'll make it.

- Where are the linens?
- Just a minute.

Oh, Marilyn.

The tragedy you live.

I'm sure glad I don't have problems.

I think most women
would love to have her problems.

Somebody said she's gonna
be at the fundraiser

at the Garden on Saturday night.

You know, the president's birthday?

I really don't want to miss it.

Do you have a headache?

Because we had a little boy
in our neighborhood

who fell off a swing set and hit his head

and went to sleep.

And then he d*ed.

Well, it's certainly
good to have company.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't talk that way.

I keep forgetting the accident.

It was terrible.

And it keeps getting stranger.

If you're lucky, it will disappear.

I have to lie down.

Are you his secretary?

No, but we work together.

We'll both be handling
Mr. Draper for the time being.

Now, you're a college girl,

so I'm going to expect you
to jump in with haste.

I have a lot of arrangements
to make for my wedding.

Oh, my goodness. Congratulations.

He's a doctor. He doesn't work here,

so don't worry about putting
your foot in your mouth.

Lucky you.

Let me see?

It's so lively.

You'd like to think it doesn't matter.

I've been offered a few,
and this is by far the best.

I'm a little bit clairvoyant,

and I think you two are going
to be very happy together.

I feel like I'm walking in tall cotton.

Aren't you darling?
You're gonna be gangbusters.

Mr. Draper is impatient.
Do not let it intimidate you.

If it isn't the welcome wagon.

Hello there.

I'm Ken Cosgrove, Accounts.

Paul Kinsey, copywriter.

Harry Crane, married.

Jane Siegel.

Anything I can help
you gentlemen with?

I actually need to see Mr. Draper.

Is he in?

- Morning, Don.
- Morning.

Mr. Draper.

I'd like you to meet Jane, the new girl.

Morning.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

I'm gonna help you hold onto this one.

I'm not paying attention anymore
until they're here a month.

What happened to your wing?

I missed the bottom step.

It's an old house.

I got an urgent call from Jimmy Barrett.

He wants to come in.

Why?

He wouldn't say.

Was he upset about something?

Who can tell?

I want you to put him off a few days,

let him cool.

He'll make more sense.

Good idea.
He probably wants a rubdown.

Paper says they ordered his pilot.

Friday.

Should I talk to your girl?

I'll handle it.

You bet.

Get the door.

Hello?

Is everything okay?

Yes, I think so.

Is she awake?

She's fine.

Put her on.

Just a minute.

I didn't think you'd call.

Why not?

I don't know. I just...

How are you?

I don't know.

Jimmy called.
He wants to meet with me.

He does?

I called him, and everything went fine.

So you don't know
anything about this?

You think I'd be in Brooklyn
if I didn't have to be?

I talked to him.
I'm covered. Believe me.

I do.

Are you okay?

I guess.

You?

It's going to be better.

Good.

Take care.

Do you want to play cards or something?

I think I have some.

No.

I'm sorry, but it's k*lling me.

Why are you doing this?

I don't know.

He's my boss.

Quite an example he's setting.

Are you seeing him?

No.

So what, then?

He's done a lot for me.

He made me a copywriter.

I bet you made yourself a copywriter.

All these books.

He's a decent man, isn't he?

You wouldn't think he would be.

I never expect him to be
any other way than what he is.

We'll keep her here for another few weeks.

She's still not in any condition
to make decisions for herself.

She should be at home.

Listen to the doctor, Mama.

In this kind
of psychoneurotic disorder...

Hello, Ma.

Hello, dear.

I'm afraid you'll have to leave us alone.

I'm going, but I'm not leaving, Peaches.

Hello, Peggy.

How are you today?

I still feel so tired.

Do you know what year it is?

It's 1960.

Do you know who the president is?

Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Good. Do you know
where you are, Peggy?

St. Mary's.

Do you know why you're here?

No.

You know St. Mary's is a hospital?

Yes.

Why do you think you're here?

I don't know.

I don't feel like myself.

That's because we have you
on medication.

We want you to be relaxed
so you feel more like talking.

I told you what happened.

You had a baby.

You know, you can hear that outside.

Nobody knows what I'm doing.

It's good for mystique.

So, Joanie, I hear
congratulations are in order.

Yes.

Marriage. Don't know why you'd want
to join that club, baby.

Hasn't stopped you
from having a good time.

How old is this guy?

He's 34.

What's wrong with him?

Nothing.

Well, I think it's nice to hear the story
of relatively young love.

Are you being a concerned daddy?

I'll tell you the same thing
I told my daughter.

If you put a penny in a jar

every time you make love
in the first year of marriage,

and then you take
a penny out of the jar

every time you make love
in the second year,

you know what you have?

A jar full of pennies.

I envy that girl having you
to give her away.

I've always been faithful
to whomever I was with.

And despite your jokes,

I always assumed you
were unhappy with Mona,

not the whole idea.

You aren't just another woman, Joanie.

Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?

I fell in love.

Makes me sad.

Just another reason
not to come in to work.

I'm not going anywhere.

Yes, you are.

You'll see.

Can I give you a couple paddles
for good luck?

Coffee.

Thanks for buying milk.

I live alone. It always goes bad.

So this really must be a kick in the head.

Company is nice.

Your eye's improved.

That's good.

I can cover the purple
with some green eye shadow.

Complementary colors. We use that.

Old trick.

I was a dancer.

I met a lot of interesting people.

You have a boyfriend?

No, I don't.

So, are you in love with him?

No.

It's not a ridiculous question.

Are you?

It's a personal question,

and I've already answered you.

You're right.

Aren't you going to ask me
if I'm in love with him?

It's none of my business.

You're right again.

You're so young and beautiful.

I'm not your competition.

That's sweet.

Is there anything else I can get you?

No.

I love your place.

I've been trying to fix it up.

Well, I like it. It takes me back.

Unless one of you needs help
finding a dead client file,

I suggest you pitch
your tents elsewhere.

I see what you're doing,

and I have to say I'm disappointed.

I don't follow.

Your d?colletage is distracting.

This is an office that hinges
on professional decorum.

I'm so sorry, Joan.

I didn't realize.

Better?

Go out and get a sweater at lunch.

Be reasonable.

There's still plenty to see,
and you know that.

Jane.

I have some very important talent
coming in tomorrow to see Don,

somebody famous,

and I just want to make sure
you're aware of that.

What's your title here?

Title?

I'm Ken.

Cosgrove.

Accounts.

Yes, you're here in the book
with Jimmy Barrett.

Would you like to go see him sometime?

Hey. Listen to this.

It's Mozart.

You can use the mirror in the bedroom.

No.

Part of the process of learning
to live without your hospitality.

It's nothing.

Not true.

I was curious if you're aware
of the value of your service.

It's what you're supposed to do, isn't it?

I wouldn't say that.

People will take advantage of you.

I know what I'm doing.

What do you want?

Are you just some busy little bee
building a hive out in Brooklyn?

Are you still trying to say thank you?

You have to start living the life
of the person you want to be.

Is that what you did?

You're never going to get that corner office

until you start
treating Don as an equal.

And no one will tell you this,

but you can't be a man.

Don't even try.

Be a woman.

It's a powerful business
when done correctly.

Do you understand
what I'm saying, dear?

I think so.

How do I get to Grand Central from here,
steam ship?

I can walk you to the train.

It's two blocks over.

I'll call a car.

Hello?

How was your day?

Spectacular.

Duck called Bert Peterson a mongoloid.

What a leader of men.

Dr. Stone's office rang.

How is Dr. Stone?

I didn't ask, but the nurse said
that your sample was quite viable.

Is that right?

Well. What do you know?

That is a relief, I do say.

Yes.

Able to leap tall buildings
in a single bound, are they?

I suppose.

To viability.

What? This is good.

It is.

This is what you wanted, isn't it?

No, you're right. It's a relief.

Now we know it's me.

Right.

So Stone can blow up your ovaries
or do whatever his cutting-edge plan is.

Peter, I can't believe you.

Wait a minute. You wanted to do this.

You had to know this
was a possible outcome.

Get back here!

Trudy!

Sit down.

I'm sorry.

I didn't think it through.

That's honest.

I don't know what I thought.

Who says we have to do this?

Except for what,

it's the next thing we're supposed to do?

But it is. It's natural.

Says who?

I was having a great time.

Weren't you?

Maybe this is the way
it's supposed to be.

I mean, you have a baby.

You can't travel.

You can't go to the movies
unless you have help,

and that's expensive.

You're immature, Peter, you know that?

I just did a very private thing

in a very public place for you.

And guess what.
You don't like the results.

What do you want me to do?

Express some concern.

And stop talking about
how you're going to miss

seeing Cape Fear for the third time.

I know one thing.

I sure as hell wouldn't want a kid here
watching this donnybrook.

Either you make it through this thing,

or you just keep it to yourself.

I'm giving you that option.

Stop!

I'm sorry.

I'm just...

It's just I really do want a baby.

What is all this for?

I don't know.

Can we eat now?

Not here.

Get your coat.

Is that you?

Are you really there?

Yes, I am.

What are you doing here?

You got a promotion and disappeared.

Your Christmas present
is sitting on your desk.

I called your house,

and your roommate gave me
your mother's number.

Oh, God.

Your mother told me you were quarantined.

TB.

I guess that was supposed
to lessen my concern.

I'm sorry.

What's wrong with you?

I don't know.

What do they want you to do?

I don't know.

Yes, you do.

Do it.

Do whatever they say.

Peggy, listen to me.

Get out of here and move forward.

This never happened.

It will shock you
how much it never happened.

It's old work, and we're
meeting early next week.

The artwork is new.

I'm going to see my
father-in-law this weekend,

and he's going to ask me.

Mr. Draper, Jimmy Barrett
is going to be early.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Don was asking where
we're going with this.

I need more time. I was sick.

I did my work.

Should we bring someone else in?

Throw it at Kurt and Smitty?

I don't know. Miss Olson,
do you need some help?

No. I'll have it first thing Monday.

Yes, you will.

Yes?

Mr. Draper, I'm sorry I was unprepared.

Don't let it happen again.

Well, it's... it's just that...

What?

$110 is a lot of money for me.

Your bail.

Right.

Here.

I'll give you 50 tomorrow.

I guess when you try
to forget something,

you have to forget everything.

Thank you, Don.

Wow, Draper.

Some kind of tomato farm you got here.

Window dressing's important.

Can I get you anything?

I was going to ask you the same thing.

Blondie, wait outside.

Jimmy, Mrs. Barrett, you look good.

You don't. What happened
to the flipper there?

Old football injury.

Yeah. I get those, too.

Have a seat.

No need. I'll keep this short.

I just want to thank you
for convincing the folks at Utz

to let me do the show.

- My pleasure.
- Yeah.

We all got what we wanted, didn't we?

What I'm trying to say is,
the way I behaved,

I wouldn't have been surprised
if you would have, you know,

looked the other way
on this thing, blocked it up.

Why would I do that?

This guy.

I can't tell if he's being smug or not.

I just wanted you to know
that I'm not a bad guy.

You didn't have to come all
the way in here to say that.

I know that.

Nobody knows that.

You're a cool cat, Donnie.

Okay.

Bye, Mr. Draper.

- Daddy!
- Daddy!

How was your day?

I made it.

Where's the salt?

Oh, Bets. No salt?

You'll see. You'll get used to it.

It's for your own good.

What would we do without you?

Why can't Daddy have salt?

Because we love him.