03x06 - Guy Walks Into An Advertising Agency

[bunniefuu]

Daddy, don't.

It's 10:30. Why aren't you asleep?

- I'm afraid.
- Sally.

I know. You're not Thomas Edison.

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of what's going to happen
when you turn off the lights.

I'm home now.

Nothing can hurt you.

Except maybe this mess.

Pick up your room,
we'll get you a nightlight.

Okay.

Go to sleep.

- What did you find out?
- Nothing.

I bet they're gonna make us work
over the holiday.

- And Cosgrove's late.
- Can we have everyone's attention, please?

This will only take a moment,
and it will not be repeated.

That's not true, Mr. Hooker.

We've just been informed
that there will be a visit

from the director and chairman of the board
of Putnam, Powell & Lowe,

the purpose of which is both friendly

and, of course,
to evaluate our performance.

- Mr. Hooker.
- The visit will commence tomorrow,

that is Tuesday, at 10:00
and will continue into the next day.

We apologize. We realize we were
to be closed Wednesday, July 3rd, but...

Come on.

They were unaware of the holiday.

Now we merely need
that everyone continue to operate

at the height of their productivity
and to make sure

that their desks and offices
are shipshape and Bristol fashion.

And by no means
should these preparations

interfere with our work today.
Very good, then.

Don, may we have a word?

Well, isn't this perfect?

Well, we'll just move it from lunch
to the end of the day.

I'm having a cake delivered.
How's that going to look?

A cake for what?

Tomorrow is Joan's last day. I told you that.

But if we're working on Wednesday,
wouldn't that be her last day?

I don't know why she'd come in.

Greg finds out about his residency
today or tomorrow. I'm not sure.

I think they're going away to celebrate.

on the state of television,
and, of course, account updates.

- Just a few minutes each.
- On each account?

No, a few minutes for each of you.

And Mr. Kinsey,
you might want to shave your beard.

What? Who the hell are you people?

That was a joke.

There's no need for panic.

Just think of this as the same
as any major client visit.

They're flying across the ocean
to have their knobs polished?

Fourth of July. Subtle.

- Get the door, will you?
- The British are coming.

I assume you know what this is about.

I have a theory.
I believe they're coming to see you.

Why?

They've shown a great deal
of interest in you.

Ever since you swung around your privates
in the boardroom with Duck last year.

They study and dissect your work,
trying to decipher

what is your particular American genius.

- What do you think it is? The presidency?
- No, I think it'll be a creative umbrella

with a dual position
in London and New York.

- London?
- Bye-bye, Don.

How congenial you two are.

I hope you can maintain this pretense
when they arrive.

Excuse me?

Kiss and make up
before you cost us all something.

- You're being melodramatic.
- Miss Blankenship,

please make an appointment at Angelo's
for Misters Sterling and Draper,

the soonest available.

- I have my own barber.
- That's not necessary.

Enough. Everyone wants Martin and Lewis.

Reconcile.

Damn it!

It's done! John Deere is done.
The 110 lawn and garden tractor

with snow thrower and transparent
vinyl enclosure, and a key.

Look at him. He just brought in a mastodon.

Sorry I'm late.

Big accounts move slowly,
but the John Deere doesn't.

Listen, Mr. Clampett. You might want to get
your iron horse out of reception.

I will, after everybody sees it.

- No, P.P.L. is coming.
- When?

- Tomorrow morning.
- And we have to work Wednesday.

- We have to give presentations.
- You got that one just in time.

Yeah, I guess I did.

She's in here!

I'm resting,
and your little brother's sleeping.

All he does is sleep.

- What are you doing?
- I'm bored.

- Go bang your head against a wall.
- Mom.

Only boring people are bored.

- Can I pet him?
- Don't wake him.

Come over here.

Go play.

You can sleep all you want,
little pig in a blanket.

That is quite a shave.

I'm thinking about my toes right now.

- Go to town.
- He's next.

- I already had one.
- See, that's not true.

You think
there's something feminine about it?

My father was the tallest, handsomest,
vainest man in New York,

and he got his nails done.

He had his fourth coronary
behind the wheel and hit a tree.

The windshield severed his arm,

and he was dead,
so they never put it back on.

In the casket he had one hand.
The nails were perfect.

- I don't believe that story.
- Okay, so he hit another car and not a tree.

It's my company. Why should I be nervous?

Because you sold it.

So that's it? That's what I did to you?
I got you a half-million dollars?

- I'm really sorry about that.
- No one said you did anything.

You sound like Burl Ives.

Part of the problem with Mona

is that one day
she just started judging people.

Never gave a crap before.

I'll tell you right now, Don.
I don't like being judged.

Listen, Roger... I'm okay, Angelo.

We don't need to talk about this anymore.
I promise.

I was holding out for gratitude,
but I'll take that.

Thank you.

Well, maybe now you'll have the money
and the glory.

Call the photographers,
type service and vendors

and tell them all deliveries should come
between 9:30 and 11:00

so the British can see lots of activity
when they arrive.

Now.

Are you being short with me
because you think it'll make parting easier?

My mother used to do that.

I'm noticing for the first time
that the ladies out here are rather plain,

- present company excluded.
- Well, we could hire some prostitutes.

I know your prime minister
enjoys their company.

The secretary of w*r,

and you'd do best
not to bring that up tomorrow.

- I apologize.
- Well, I apologize that tomorrow's visit

will steal from your spotlight.

Perhaps we can reschedule
your surprise party till after the holiday?

Why did you do that?

Do what? Mrs. Harris knows everything.
I'm sure she was expecting it.

I'm going to go home and make
a celebratory dinner for my husband.

And when you wake up
in the middle of the night

and wonder what you forgot, don't call me.

- Well, that's smooth.
- I got a shave.

- Why?
- They ordered me to do it.

We have an inspection tomorrow.
The British.

Well, you look very successful.

Hot or cold?
Swedish meatballs or chicken salad?

Chicken salad.

Did you pick up a nightlight?

I did, and I read her to sleep.
She was still clingy.

I don't remember her being that resentful
of Bobby when he was born.

- I don't know that she resents him.
- Well, she won't go near him.

She won't even go in his room
unless I make her.

- Why are they visiting?
- We don't know.

Delayed everybody's vacation plans.

He was perfect today.

- Who?
- Gene.

Would you ever want to live in London?

I'm serious.

Of course.
I could get a pram and a real nanny.

- What do you know?
- Nothing.

Where the hell were you?

I told you I was going for drinks
with the docs.

You didn't tell me anything.
You didn't call me.

- I called you at work.
- That's a lie. I just ate dinner for two.

Get over here.

I know you're drunk. Come sit next to me.

So what happened?

I...

I didn't get it.

What happened?

It doesn't say anything

except that they made Doug Hutchinson
chief resident.

And I felt the floor open up under me.

So you'll get it next year.
You knew it was possible.

I ran into Eddinger
about a half-hour before the letter came,

and I could tell something was wrong.
He wouldn't look me in the eye.

I figured he felt bad

and I'd at least find out
what the hell happened.

- But he didn't feel bad.
- What are you talking about? He loves you.

He sat me down in his office
and he poured a drink and he said...

He said I had no brains in my fingers.

But he wrote you
all those nice evaluations...

Damn it, Joan! Doctors don't write
bad things about each other.

- So you'll go to another hospital.
- Not in New York.

If I want to stay in surgery,
I can go to Alabama or something.

So what happens?
You're still a doctor, right?

I am.

I'm just not a surgeon,
and I will never be a surgeon.

- Did they fire you?
- I don't want to talk about it, Joanie, okay?

I was hoping you were asleep.

I have another year of residency.
You're not gonna be able to leave your job.

- Greg, that's done.
- Well, get another one.

Honey.

Listen.

You are still a doctor.

I married you for your heart,
not your hands.

They all went out to celebrate.

I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it.
I couldn't fake it.

I've been sitting in the Dublin House
since 2:00.

Go lay down. I'll undress you.
Just let me close the light.

Mr. Hooker, you neglected to tell me
that our guests have arrived.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

This is Mrs. Harris.
She was the office manager before me,

but she is off to greener pastures.

- Well, that's a shame. Guy MacKendrick.
- Joan Harris.

This is Mr. Harold Ford.
And you recall Saint John Powell.

- We've spoken on the phone.
- I believe that's true.

I just wanted to tell you,
I made a reservation at La Grenouille at 6:00

and got you two tickets to Oliver!
It's a wonderful show.

I've heard that.
A tragedy with a happy ending.

My favorite kind.

Thank you, Joan.
Shall I give you the threepenny tour?

Please let everyone know that they're here.

We have you scheduled to meet
with Sterling, Cooper and Draper,

and then with Mr. Pryce, of course,

and then a light lunch
in the conference room

with the personnel you requested.

Tomorrow, the presentations
and client meetings.

- Saint John, good to see you again.
- Peter Campbell. This is Guy MacKendrick.

I know everything about you.
You're a very impressive fellow.

- I wish I could return the compliment.
- Well, perhaps one day you shall.

Good morning, gentlemen.

- Hello.
- Miss Olson, one of our copywriters.

I know everything about you.
You are a very impressive young woman.

Why, thank you. I was just writing copy.

- As you were.
- I hope we chat later.

Mr. Draper is waiting for you
in Mr. Cooper's office.

This way.

That is a very handsome man.

- Good to see all of you.
- It's a pleasure.

Don, no worse for wear, I see.

What a delightful custom.
From the Far East, I assume?

- Japan.
- How was your trip?

Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Harold Ford,
and this young man is Guy MacKendrick.

Mr. Cooper.

- Mr. Sterling, what an honor.
- Call me Roger.

- And you must be Don Draper.
- I am.

I can't tell you how exciting it is
to finally meet you.

That's very flattering.

Guy here has done a study of your work,
which is quite a compliment.

You see,
in addition to his inestimable charm,

Guy here has degrees
from Cambridge University

and the London School of Economics.

Three years at the Bank,
two years at McCann,

and his most recent coup, Mercedes-Benz.

- That's very impressive.
- I apologize.

I didn't realize he was going to recite
my entire curriculum vitae.

- You left out modest.
- Well, we're going to debrief Mr. Pryce,

and the plan is for you
to join us for luncheon.

- In the conference room at 1:00.
- Sounds like Agatha Christie.

Well, apparently our tour continues.

I look forward to... How do you say?
Catching up?

I as well.

Well, that was strange.

Look at that. The suspense is k*lling him.

Yes?

Mr. Powell and Mr. Ford are here to see you.

- Spectacles.
- Right.

Send them in.

- Gentlemen.
- Greetings, Saint John.

Harold, what a pleasure.

Please see to it
that Guy has a space to prepare.

- Right away.
- Gentlemen. There's coffee and cake.

We're very impressed, Lane.
Very, very impressed indeed.

In nine months,
you've trimmed every bit of excess,

increased billings,
and we haven't heard a word of complaint.

Yes, well, Pax Romana and all that.

Bravo. We've decided
to offer you something

that we hope you'll view
as a reward and a challenge.

- Is it in the box?
- In a manner of speaking.

Open it.

What is that? It looks like a snake.

Fancy that.

- Is it real?
- It was.

It's for our snake charmer.
We're sending you to Bombay.

Bombay? What would I do there?

Well, hopefully the same thing
you accomplished here.

Where shall I put this?

I guess I needn't find a spot for it
if I'm simply moving again.

Don't pout.

One of your greatest qualities
is you always do as you're told.

No, it's just the logistics.

My wife just settled,
my son just accepted to school,

- and now we're moving on?
- Nonsense. You're moving up.

That's the spirit.

So, without further ado,
I will give the floor to Guy MacKendrick.

Let me begin by offering
my warmest wishes and admiration

for Lane Pryce and his exemplary work.
It'll be hard to lose him,

but there's no doubt
that our loss is India's gain.

Now, let me say
there's no cause for anxiety.

There will be no further reductions
in the ranks.

Yes, that's good news.

If I might, I'd like to walk you through
this slight reorganization.

As before,
P.P.L. London will be the head of this body,

and Sterling Cooper, now more than ever,
our American presence.

Our business maturity
with your creative edge.

A triumvirate of Don and myself
and Mr. Cooper, our chairman emeritus,

will oversee three streamlined departments.
Creative, art and copy.

Account management, that's Mr. Cosgrove,
Mr. Campbell for the present,

and a combined television/media
department headed by Mr. Crane.

Mr. Sterling's not on that chart at all.

- That's true.
- Well, that was an oversight.

As you can see,
nothing much has really changed.

Frankly, my presence here
is just to ensure thorough communication,

that we help each other
on both sides of the pond.

Whether it be a sharing of creative genius,

media savvy,

or the unbridled acquisition
of new business.

I'm sure you all have a thousand questions.

But for the time being,
I say we inform the troops,

so that the transition
can begin immediately after the holiday.

- Shall I have Mr. Hooker prepare a memo?
- No. Nonsense.

I don't want this to be the kind of place
where such news is delivered that way.

Shall we?

Gosh, we're really going to miss you.

- What the hell just happened?
- They reorganized us,

and you're the only one in this room
who got a promotion.

- Really?
- Yes, really.

I apologize for my wild imagination.

See? It's clean.

That's not what I want to talk to you about.

What's this?

It's for you.

"For my new big sister,
the best in the world."

And my goodness, it's from baby Gene.

Look.

Baby Gene can't write.

Babies get fairies to do things.
You know that.

It's really from him. I'm not kidding.
I think you should open it.

- What is it?
- It's a Barbie.

I think he wants you to know
that he wants to be your friend.

And you are very important to me, too.

I'm sure you all have a thousand questions,

but before I raise a glass
to Sterling Cooper's future,

I should like to recognize its past.

Most recently,
the inspired stewardship of Lane Pryce.

Hear! Hear!

I'm also aware
of a rather significant milestone.

Mrs. Harris,
from those who've known you only hours

to those who have cherished
your nearly 10 years of service,

I wish you caviar and children
and all that is good in your new life.

There, there. That wasn't my intention.

Mrs. Harris, please.

We'll have our presentations tomorrow.
Let this afternoon be a fete worthy of Joan.

Enjoy the liquor and delicatessen.

Thank you. Thank you all.

- This is completely unnecessary.
- You'll be sorely missed.

We got you the cake.

Well...

So, what now?
They keep adding people above us.

One more promotion
and we're gonna be answering phones.

We should go say hi.

- This is good champagne.
- I don't think so.

I'm going to get something to eat.

Mr. Draper,
Conrad Hilton's office is on the line.

- What?
- Conrad Hilton, the hotel owner.

Yeah, I know what he does.
Why is he calling?

I don't know.

- And he's calling for me?
- Yes. Well, his office is.

Put him through.

- Donald Draper.
- Mr. Draper, this is Miss Wakeman.

Mr. Hilton has expressed a desire
to meet with you.

May I ask what this is regarding?

I just set his schedule.
When are you available?

- How about right now?
- Right now? Please hold.

- How far are you from the Waldorf Astoria?
- Fifteen minutes.

It's the presidential suite.

I'm on my way.

- Where's Miss Blankenship?
- She's down there saluting Union Jack.

- What is that?
- Chocolate pudding.

I wasn't even on the chart.
My name's on the wall out there.

- You want some?
- No.

I like to think, "I'm rich. They can't hurt me."

That's a mistake.

I'm being punished
for making my job look easy.

Although that kid, Guy, he has a spark.
He is a pure account man.

And what is that job all about?

I don't know. It's about listening to people

and never saying
what's really on your mind.

No. It's about letting things go
so you can get what you want.

Have a nice holiday. Enjoy the fireworks.

We took their money.
We have to do what they say.

My dad keeps talking about Vietnam.
I think he wants me to get drafted.

First of all, they're hardly drafting anybody.
Second of all, you're too old.

Third of all, I have a friend in the army,
and if you're smart, you're set.

He sits behind a desk at Fort Dix
and screws secretaries all day.

- Does he sh**t the peoples?
- I don't know. I gotta take a piss.

- Joan.
- Yes?

- May I speak with you?
- Thank you.

I just...
I wanted to get you a card or a present.

It'd be nice if I gave you a gift for once

and you didn't wonder
if I wanted something.

Knock yourself out.

I don't want you to think
I never listen to you.

It's just we can't all be you.

Be that as it may,
I do take some credit for your success here.

- Hey, put that back.
- I'm going home!

I can't believe I'm gonna miss this!

I'm really happy
that you got what you wanted.

I remember on my first day
you said that could happen to me

- if I played my cards right.
- Are you getting sentimental?

Oh, my God.

Don't worry.
I'm sure we'll see each other all the time.

If we don't, I just have to say...

- For the love of Christ!
- Oh, my God.

My foot!

- Call an ambulance!
- Holy crap!

Jesus!

There's a tourniquet in the first aid kit.
You're gonna be okay.

Good God.

I can't feel a thing.

- God! What did I do?
- Get her out of here!

The ambulance is on its way.

- I'm Donald Draper.
- We've met before.

- We have, haven't we?
- Yellow Rock Country Club.

- We had a drink. Of course.
- You fixed it for me. Let me return the favor.

I can't believe you're Conrad Hilton.

- Connie.
- Don.

Food? Best kitchen in the world.
Got a salad named after it.

I'm fine. I really should have known that.

I don't know. Now...

After this comes out next week...

Well, they don't do that for everyone.

I think I look like an Arab.

How did you find me?

I called around,
told people I had a long chat

with a handsome fellow
from Sterling Cooper,

and your name never came up.

Apparently you don't have long chats
with people.

Well, here I am. What can I do for you?

What do you think?

I think you wouldn't be
in the presidential suite right now

- if you worked for free.
- Don, this is friendly.

Connie, this is my profession.
What do you want me to do?

I want you to give me one for free.

I don't think anybody wants to think
about a mouse in a hotel.

Well, that was my idea.
You got something better?

I might.

So, what do you want?

I'm not gonna lie.
I'd love a chance at your business.

Okay.

But the next time somebody like me
asks you a question like that,

you need to think bigger.

Well, Connie,

there are snakes
that go months without eating,

and then they finally catch something,

but they're so hungry
that they suffocate while they're eating.

One opportunity at a time.

Sorry to interrupt.
Mr. Draper, you have an emergency call.

Home or office?

Do you understand what's happened here?
That we're not to be trusted?

She's an idiot.
I didn't know she couldn't drive.

But you took the machine out.

You have to have respect
for that equipment.

- It's very safe when operated correctly.
- We had the world handed to us on a plate,

and then you swing in on a chandelier,
drop your pants and crap on it.

Jesus, it's like Iwo Jima out there.

We should put a rubber mat down
so Cooper can get around.

They're changing the carpeting.

- Any news?
- He might lose his foot.

Right when he got it in the door.

- Oh, God.
- Sit down, Sissy Mary. You're pale.

I take full responsibility.

Believe me, somewhere in this business,
this has happened before.

Joan. My God.

- I know. It's ruined.
- How is he?

I didn't expect you to come over.
I just thought you should know.

Honestly, when I called you,
I thought he might die.

- But he's not going to?
- No. He's lost the foot.

Jesus, that's awful.

Lane went to retrieve Powell and Ford
from dinner.

They've already talked to the doctor.

I'll wait.

Despite the circus today,

I hope you know
that you are going to be terribly missed.

That's nice to hear,
especially from you, Don.

I bet he felt great
when he woke up this morning.

I'm sure you're right.

But that's life.
One minute, you're on top of the world,

the next minute, some secretary
is running you over with a lawn mower.

Don.

I'm heartbroken.

- It's a terrible tragedy.
- One that surely could have been avoided,

although, Mrs. Harris,
thank you for your quick thinking.

- You may have saved his life.
- Such as it is.

He was a great account man. A prodigy.
He could talk a Scotsman out of a penny.

- Now that's all over.
- I don't know if that's true.

The man is missing a foot.
How is he going to work? He can't walk.

The doctor said he'll never golf again.

I'm afraid we have to reevaluate
our entire strategy.

- Lane will remain here indefinitely.
- We'll close the office tomorrow, obviously.

Mrs. Harris, please allow the company
to reimburse you for that dress,

just as a token of our gratitude.

I think Saint John and I
should see him if we can.

Of course.

You should get home
to that lucky husband.

Yes.

- Can I get you one?
- Sure.

I've been reading a lot
of American literature lately.

- Tom Sawyer.
- That's a good one.

I feel like I just went to my own funeral.
I didn't like the eulogy.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Daddy!
- Hey. Hey, I got you. I got you. Just breathe.

Get him out, Daddy!
Please, Daddy, save me.

I don't even know what to say.

Daddy.

Calm down and tell me what's going on.

Grandpa Gene.
He's not supposed to be here anymore.

He's not.

He's called Gene, he sleeps in his room,
he looks just like him,

and I bet when he starts talking,
he's gonna sound just like him, too.

He's a baby. That's it.

I want you to go to sleep.
There's no such thing as ghosts.

Betts, this has to stop.

There's nothing I can do.
She's jealous of her little brother.

No, she's not jealous, she's scared,
and it's all because he has that name.

"That name."

You've never liked it
and you haven't hidden it well,

- and now you're bringing her into this.
- That's ridiculous. Let's talk about Sally.

She's a child. She'll get over it.
Now you have to.

He was my father and that was his name.

It's what people do, Don.
It's how they keep the memory alive.

He hated me and I hated him.
That's the memory.

That's his name!

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to wake him.

That's okay, honey. Everything's fine.

Come on. Let's get you to sleep.

Come over here.

You see? It's all right.

This is your little brother,

and he's only a baby.

We don't know who he is yet,

or who he's going to be.

And that is a wonderful thing.