05x11 - The Other Woman

[bunniefuu]

Jaguar, the mistress
who'll do things your wife won't.

What did I say before?

The client doesn't want to
hear the word "mistress."

Salesmen can use it, but the campaign can't.

Jaguar, you'll love it when you're in it.

Are we just spitting up lines now?

You know what? Let's take a break.

Where are you going?

What was unclear about the fact
that he's taking a break and we're not?

I need you to sign off on Secor Laxative.

I told you you were in charge of all
ongoing business till Jaguar's done.

- Just handle it.
- Done.

- How's the prospect doing?
- Is it lunchtime?

Jesus, is it?

Mr. Sterling bought lobster from The Palm.

Doesn't that sound good?

Hey.

So, I don't know
what the Jaguar executives will say.

But I got dealerships in Montclair,

Englewood, Morristown,
Paramus and Rutherford.

And I carry three other foreign cars.

So, frankly, creative
has to be pretty spectacular

or Jaguar is just another word on the sign.

Well, then we have nothing to worry about.

The dealership on the ground floor
of the corporate offices on Madison

has done very well
just having that XK-E in the entrance.

You have to be excited about this car.

Oh, it's a red-hot number.
I'm excited about that.

But I'm a hard man to please.

I always feel like someone
should go the extra mile.

We're open to anything your heart desires.

Well, the other day
when we were all touring your offices,

our guide was a dynamite redhead.

- Joan Harris.
- Built like a B-52.

Yeah, we know who you're talking about.

Well, I sure would like the opportunity
to get to know her better.

Well, a lot of guys would.
But, you know, she's...

She's a very interesting girl.

She's one of these free spirits?
You know, open to ideas?

So you like redheads? I think I know some.

I like that redhead.

And I think she and I

would both welcome the opportunity
to spend a night together.

Well, you could ask her out.
It wouldn't be a conflict.

No, I'm kind of shy.

All I'm saying is, if it happens,
it would make me happy.

If it doesn't, well,
no guarantees in life, right?

- Get another round. I'll get it.
- Absolutely not.

- Was that what I think it was?
- Yes, it was.

Why didn't you just let me
tell him she was married?

Because so is he.
And he already knows that.

Well, we wanted to be in the car business.

- You waited up.
- No.

I mean, yes.

I'm going in to read tomorrow
for a really good part.

An audition? Why didn't you call?

Honestly, because I had to go
to 1 Oth Avenue to get the script

and then I went and talked to Fanny,

you know, who teaches
my auditioning class.

You're very good at auditions.

Not as good as the girls who get parts.

You know what? Let's talk about your day.

Well, I was gonna watch Carson
and cry myself to sleep.

It'll come to you. It always does.

Unless it comes to you.

Do you really want help
or you want to yell at me?

I don't know yet.

What's the strategy?

A Jaguar is beautiful, but unreliable.

It comes with a tool kit
the size of a typewriter.

You basically have to
own another car to go places.

So we're saying it's your gorgeous mistress.

So a wife is like a Buick in the garage.

We're trying to make a weakness
into a strength.

- We're selling to men.
- No, I got it.

Doesn't being a mistress
make the car immoral?

The word "mistress" won't be in the ad.

I don't know, but it sounds great.

I need to learn some of this.

There goes the act.

One sh*t, and there goes the tambourine.

You're here early.

What can I do for you?

Nothing.

Nothing, it's just,
I got some bad news last night

and I was hoping you'd help me deliver it.

What happened?

Well, we were having dinner
with Herb Rennet.

I think you met him
the other day, from Jaguar.

- Handsome guy.
- I don't remember any of them.

Well, I don't know what to do.

He basically pledged
he wasn't going to back us.

Why not?

Turns out he wanted something
we're not prepared to give.

Something very unorthodox.

- Good morning.
- Yes?

I'm here. I'm going to get danish.

What does he want?

I feel like I shouldn't even bring this up.

In fact, I don't know how to bring this up.

But we're going to lose Jaguar unless

an arrangement is made, and it involves you

and, well, Herb.

How did that come up?

He said he was crazy about you
and then he just asked.

And then I thought we were past it,
but right before we put him in a cab,

he said it again
and it was quite conditional.

A night with you or no vote.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

Anyway, if you can think of some way
to break the news to the company

that we're out of this,
I'd really appreciate it.

You're unbelievable.

I'm married.

How would you feel
if someone asked Trudy?

I didn't bring this up. He did.

If you're not interested in the idea at all,
I appreciate...

It's just...

It seems to me that there's something
that could be worth the sacrifice.

We're talking about a night in your life.

We've all had nights in our lives
where we've made mistakes for free.

You're talking about prostitution.

I'm talking about business
at a very high level.

Do you consider Cleopatra a prost*tute?

Where do you get this stuff?

She was a queen.

What would it take to make you a queen?

I don't think you could afford it.

This was an act of desperation.

I hope I haven't insulted you.

That's all that matters to me.

I understand.

Scarlett, we're ready.

Now, we can't get Ginsberg out for the call,
so we want you to pretend you're his junior.

- Partner?
- Supervisor.

I have Mr. Rick Swanson
from Chevalier Blanc cologne on speaker.

Hi, Rick. It's Kenny.

I'm here on a speaker
with Harry Crane and Peggy Olson,

Mr. Ginsberg's supervisor,

and we want to know
why you want to pull the ad.

- Hello, everyone.
- Hi, Rick.

Hello.

We're very happy with the work,

but sales have leveled off
since the holidays.

It's Harry. And, you know,
Valentine's Day is coming up.

A girl can't get a guy flowers.

Why would a woman buy a man
anything for Valentine's Day?

Rick, it's Peggy.

I think you're right.

The target of "A hard day's night" was men,
but we can easily change that.

How do you do that?

Hello?

What if it's our leatherjacket hero

running down the street
being chased by screaming girls

and instead ofjumping into a bar,
he comes upon Lady Godiva on a horse

as naked as we are allowed to make her?

And he stops short, but she leans down
and picks him up and puts him on the horse

and rides away with him.

What's the tagline?

It's something about how, you know,

the right woman loves Chevalier Blanc.

So it's exactly the same
except for the ending?

And maybe Paris instead of London.

Ooh-la-la. A French song.

Close the door, please.

Herb Rennet has demanded
to spend a night with Joan.

And I don't mean dinner and dancing.

He just came right out and said that?

Who is he?

He's the head of the Dealers Association.

And I hope you told him to take a long walk.

There's three votes. We only need two.

I thought about that.

But all he has to do is say
he can't sell cars with our campaign

and neither marketing
nor the factory will fight him.

- So?
- So I brought up the subject with Joan.

- You what?
- Now, relax.

She seemed more amused than shocked.

And it's my opinion,
if we brought her the right amount...

So you thought you'd have us in here
for coffee and talk about this?

What's the problem if she's amenable?

She said she'd do it?

She said we couldn't afford it.

She has a husband in Vietnam
and a baby at home.

And the work will be good enough
to win on its own.

- Plus, it's not a guarantee.
- No, it's not.

It's a guarantee
we won't get it if we don't.

You have some nerve to even ask her.

That's right.

And you should be thanking me

because we've come too far
and are too close

to turning this place into
what it should be.

Now we're going to walk away?

Over what?

He's one guy and we can win it without him.
End of discussion.

Speaking of one guy,
how does everyone else feel?

I'd love to approach her with, say,

a 10 % finder's fee
on the first year's commission.

That's $50,000. A flattering amount
which begs no negotiation.

I'm not going to stand in the way,
but I am not paying for it.

Not even with our Christmas bonuses?

Maybe Jaguar wasn't meant to be?

I say we take our bonuses and move on.

This is a car. You cannot
put a dollar figure on its significance.

Extend our credit line.

Say it's for Jaguar.

Well, why don't I look into it
to see what we can afford

so you may approach her in the morning
with something definitive?

So, we're 75% of this company.

There's no need to create a conspiracy
by having a vote, is there?

Don't fool yourself.
This is some very dirty business.

Let her know she can still say no.

You know what?
We're not doing this mistress thing.

It's vulgar.
We're going back to racing heritage.

- Why?
- People think writers horse around

because they're coming up with ideas.

But, actually, it's because
they're horsing around.

Now knock off the grab-ass
and give me some lines.

And don't try to reuse these.
They do not apply.

Hey, skipper. You got five seconds?

Five seconds is not
enough time to sit down.

Good news.
Chevalier Blanc wants to do a pool-out.

- Great.
- Peggy was incredible.

She came up with this
Lady Godiva bit on the spot.

But in the end, we're doing
the same ad as before, but in Paris.

The guy has a beret.

Bid it out. Ginsberg should be free by then.
Be nice to get him out of here.

Ginsberg? I thought of this.

- It's his account.
- So I guess I'm not in charge of everything.

Jesus, Peggy, you know what?

You want to go to Paris? Here.

Go to Paris.

I'm not crying.

I didn't think that.

What, we're all suddenly interested
in each other's lives?

I know for a fact
that Jaguar's not going to happen.

And he probably does, too.

- I don't care.
- I'll get you to Paris.

And if I don't, we'll both get out of here.

You and your stupid pact.

Save the fiction for your stories.

What can I do for you?

May I?

Signing Jaguar would be disastrous
for the financial health of this company.

You have to stop being afraid.

It would be a defining moment
for our business.

We don't want it that badly.

- All right, get out.
- It bears discussion.

I don't know what you're talking about.
Now get out.

Well, I'm sorry that there was a discussion.

But when a company
is planning on spending $50,000,

there needs to be a discussion.

You were all in there talking about it?

Why does it matter
if you have no intention of action?

I don't want them to know I was asked.

Roger Sterling participated
in this discussion?

Yes.

He's a partner.

If you're against it,
why did you tell me that number?

Sounds like a joke.

Because that may be enough money
to turn your head,

and I wanted a chance to discourage you.

It is a lot of money, Lane.
It's four times what I make in a year.

I suppose you wouldn't even be tempted.

Well,

if I were,

I would try to avoid the mistake
that I've made my entire life.

Every time someone's asked me
what I wanted,

I've never told them the truth.

And what would you want?

Three years ago,

when I was essential
to the future of this firm,

I settled for much less than I needed.

The cash would only cr*pple the company

and would do very little
to change your future.

But a partnership

yielding a 5% stake in the company itself

could take care of a woman
and a child for a lifetime.

Here I thought you were trying to stop this
because you have feelings for me.

That's why I'm looking out for your interests
over the company's.

"Good night, nobody.

"Good night, mush.

"And good night to the old lady
whispering 'hush."'

Hey.

How's it going?

You want to help us out?
Throw some taglines at the wall?

How about,
"Jaguar, it's your problem, not mine."

May I speak with you?

So that's Megan.

Be careful what you say. We're best friends.

So, you're wearing your audition dress.

What are you hoping I can do for you?

You noticed.

I've only bad associations
with letting you leave the house in that.

There's probably 20 girls.
And Julia's coming with me.

Plus, he's a fairy.

So whatever this is, it's not for me.

I want to walk in there with confidence.

I could be in a bikini
and you could paint my body with spots.

Jaguar, try to tame it.

- Don't try and tame it.
- Here, kitty, kitty.

So, she just comes and goes
as she pleases, huh?

Ginsberg. What?

Yeah, I got it.

You can unplug that if you want.

Aren't I interrupting
your routine without me?

Don't be cranky.

I was in a great mood when I left work.

Now I'm just exhausted.

So let's go to bed.

If and when we get Jaguar,
I'm going to need an apartment in the city.

Absolutely not.

It's an epic poem for me to get home.

And you're dressed for bed at dinner.

Peter, let's stop playing games.

What are you talking about?

I'm tired of competing.
Your love affair with Manhattan is over.

Well, how can you stand living
out here in this cemetery?

There's nothing to do.
There's no good night noises anywhere.

Because I want to raise my child
in the fresh air.

And we should have another on the way.

I mean, it was a miracle the first time
and we're not even trying.

I'm using all my energy
putting my foot down.

It's 8:00. Where were you?

What's that smell?

The refrigerator is on the fritz.
I had to take everything out.

Did you call someone?

His wife won't let him come here anymore.

I don't want to talk about that.

We can afford to have someone else
fix the refrigerator, for God's sake.

Why won't anyone believe me?
Apolo and I are just friends.

You know what? Just hire someone.

Get a colored girl in here.
They're used to being bossed around.

Do whatever you want.

And what are you doing?

Drying up inside? Because of what? Greg?

I hate him.

I don't want you talking that way
around Kevin.

He's a baby. He doesn't know
that we all wish his father was dead.

Please, stop.

Have you been drinking?

Yes.

Sit down.

Little Murders called.
Four of us got callbacks.

I'm supposed to go meet
the playwright tomorrow.

That's fantastic.

- That's a big deal.
- I know.

You have to promise
you'll come visit every weekend.

You're going to Broadway, not jail.

No, rehearsal starts in Boston in 10 days.
Oh, forget it. I'm getting ahead of myself.

Boston?

Yeah, I think there's
eight weeks of rehearsals plus previews.

So you're just gonna leave
for three months?

- If they want me.
- Well, forget it.

What do you think this is?

You think I'm gonna be a singing waitress.
Maybe put on a show in the laundry room?

I have to go to work.

You never thought about it because
you didn't expect me to make it.

This is the way it works. Now you know.

Just keep doing whatever the hell you want.

Please, come in.

You didn't have to make
an appointment, you know.

Yes, I did.

Tell them I want a partnership,

not silent,

comprising 5% of the business.

- Well...
- There's no negotiation.

Okay.

I want documents by the end of the day.

I don't know if that's possible.

Well, I'm not guaranteeing results.

I don't think he'll have trouble performing.
He's quite ardent.

I meant winning the business.

Yes, of course.

So, I have instructions,
but I don't know how this works

in a practical sense.

The presentation's tomorrow, isn't it?

So I just call him and have him call you?

Probably not.

Well, how do I...

Figure something out.
Do I have to do all of it?

Which one is he?

He's not bad.

He's doing this.

Come in.

I know I'm not a manager,

but it's very hard to get things done
with you in another room.

Well, I obviously have the opposite feeling.

Permission to speak freely?

What?

I know you forbid us
from thinking about the mistress,

but I kept imagining the assh*le
who's gonna want this car.

Now he's probably already
got a lot of beautiful things.

Or maybe he thinks the car
will help him get them.

So I can go on?

And one way or another,
what he has isn't enough.

So no matter what,
the first idea has got to be

finally, like,
you're getting what you wanted.

The copy is still describing
the car as another woman.

But a woman you can't have,

because they have all
the qualities of a Jaguar.

Good-looking, expensive, fast,
and, frankly, not practical.

I've always been fine with all that.

But what's the line?

"Jaguar. At last, something beautiful
you can truly own."

So he threw the money in your face?

I don't even want to talk about it.

I've never had more responsibility.
I'm on everything but Jaguar.

I worked on Plymouth at N. W. Ayer.

Car guys are a bunch of creeps.

They're all a bunch of creeps.

Could I get some more coffee?

I can never tell, ballerina,

if you're ambitious
or you just like to complain.

Why can't it be both?

Well, if this was about work
and not feelings,

you'd make a move.

You're right.

I could take a couple of meetings

and get an offer
and throw that in Don's face.

Or you can do what everybody else does.

Have a bunch of meetings,
pick a place and leave.

Don't think I haven't thought about it.

Well, you'd get to find out
if you could shine elsewhere.

And I know you can.

And you'd let him know that
you're not some secretary from Brooklyn

who's dying to help out.

I don't know if I can do that.

Sure, you could.
You could hire a headhunter

or you could buy a friend a piece of pie.

Of course, if you do move,

you can't complain
if I gave Draper a call on my own behalf.

What if Don finds out you helped me?

Don's a big boy.

If he was having this conversation with you
and he wasn't the subject of it,

he'd tell you to leave in a second.

Thanks.

I've seen the campaign
and it's something I couldn't have imagined,

yet exactly what I expected.

Thank you.

And I want you to present
in the fullest confidence.

I think it's a winner.

Well, all I wanted to say was
we've removed all other impediments.

But you do know,
no matter what else goes on,

it's the creative that's going to win this.

Close the door.

It was four to zero.

You abstained in absentia.

The conversation doesn't end
just because you leave the room.

What did you promise her?

A 5% stake as a voting partner.

Dawn, could you buzz Mrs. Harris?

She's not here.

Actually, Dawn, could you get my things?

Yes, you should be well rested.

I don't want it like this.

It was her idea.

Hello.

Hello. I'm Don Draper.
I work with Joan. Is she in?

Yes, of course. Please come in.

What?

She'll be right with you.

- I should take your coat.
- I won't be long.

Well, I will leave you two alone.

I'm really sorry to bother you
if this is a bad time.

Well, I was just stepping into the shower,
but how can I help you?

I wanted to tell you that it's not worth it.

And if we don't get Jaguar, so what?

Who wants to be in business
with people like that?

I was told everyone was on board.

I said no and they voted
when I left the room.

You're a good one, aren't you?

So you understand what I'm saying?

Yes, I do.

I'm all right.

And thank you.

So you have a nice night,
and I'm gonna go prepare.

- Say good night to your friend.
- Good luck tomorrow.

You must get tired of hearing
what a beautiful thing this car is.

But I've met a lot
of beautiful women in my life.

And despite their protestations,
they never tire of hearing it.

But when deep beauty is encountered,
it arouses deep emotions

because it creates a desire,

because it is, by nature, unattainable.

You look radiant, Joan.

May I call you Joan? I'm Herb, by the way.

Well, I should hope so.

We're taught to think
that function is all that matters.

But we have a natural longing
for this other thing.

I got you a little something.

I thought a woman with your complexion
would look good in emerald.

When I was driving the E-Type,

I passed a 10-year-old boy
in the back window of a station wagon

and I watched his eyes follow.

He'd just seen something he would want
for the rest of his life.

I feel like a sultan ofAraby
and my tent is graced with Helen of Troy.

Those are two different stories.

He'd just seen that unattainable object
speed by just out of reach.

Because they do that, don't they?

Beautiful things.

You know, I don't know how much longer
I can restrain myself.

Let me see them.

Then I thought about a man of some means
reading Playboy or Esquire.

And flipping past the flesh
to the shiny painted curves of this car.

There was no effort to stop his eye.

The difference is he can have a Jaguar.

Well, thank you for a wonderful time.

You're a hell of a gal.

Oh, this car,

this thing, gentlemen,

what price would we pay?

What behavior would we forgive?

If they weren't pretty,
if they weren't temperamental,

if they weren't beyond our reach
and a little out of our control,

would we love them like we do?

"Jaguar.

"At last, something beautiful
you can truly own."

What?

Mr. Draper is here to see you.

Why'd you tell him I was here?

He's your boss. You should see him.

Well, I will leave you two alone.

I'm really sorry to bother you
if this is a bad time.

Well, I was just stepping into the shower,
but how can I help you?

I wanted to tell you that it's not worth it.

And if we don't get Jaguar, so what?

Who wants to be in business
with people like that?

How'd it go?

- We'll see.
- It was one of his good ones.

- Come have a drink?
- Maybe later.

- Where are you from?
- New York.

Turn around, please.

Could you step forward, sweetheart,
and turn around, please?

You know, I would have
taken you anywhere.

Well, no one comes in here.
The food's too bad.

We're not actually gonna eat here, are we?

I'm not hungry.

Freddy Rumsen says you are.

And so does Tom Vogel.
You know we have Clearasil.

In fact, he sung your praises

while he was yelling at me
that the work wasn't as good anymore.

That was my first account.

Everybody else is gonna want to know
if you're married

or planning on having a baby.

And then they're gonna want to know
how much you want to be paid.

But all I want to know is,

you must have heard
some pretty terrible things about me

from Don Draper's mouth.

But why would you want
to play for the other team?

It's not a game.

It's my career.

Look, I need a writer.

They don't have to be like me, but...

Do you know anything
about Ralph Waldo Emerson?

From school.

He said that you have to be
a transparent eyeball.

What he meant was,
you have to take in the world

and pass it through you.

I am tired of people
who treat this like math.

I looked at your book and I saw somebody

who was writing like
every product was for them.

No clichés, no homilies, no formula.

Well, I had a lot of help.

Everybody does.

So I lied to you.

What do you want to get paid?

Freddy tell you to do this?

You already know you want to go.

You know how much you'll do it for.

And you didn't make me wait.

I'm going do you the same favor.

If this is your last meeting.

I think I need a chocolate shake.

First day of work ends with
you and me at La Caravelle.

- You're here.
- I'm here.

How'd it go?

How did yours go?

We're waiting to hear.

I bet you were great.

I bet you were, too.

- The difference is I want you to get it.
- Stop it.

Well, you get to disappear for work
whenever you want.

And if I have to choose
between you and that,

I'll choose you.

But I'll hate you for it.

You know I don't want you to fail.

Good.

Because I'm not going to.

Don't run away like that.

Good morning, Mr. Draper.

Miss Olson wants to see you.

Peggy, come on in.

- D'Arcy's out.
- Says who?

Arthur's girl told me on the QT.
She said he was in his office crying.

Jaguar is calling
the president of every agency.

- Dancerjust got a big "No, thanks."
- D'Arcy is out, too.

Get the partners in my office
and wait for further instructions.

Roger Sterling's office.

I want all the partners here.

You can't leave him on hold.

Where's Pete?

Just answer it.

Hello? Hugh, how are you this morning?

I'm glad to hear that. We like him, too.

- Well, that is terrific news.
- Bravo.

- This is spectacular.
- Great.

We'll be over this afternoon
to kiss the bride.

He said it wasn't even close.

- Well, congratulations to everyone.
- We got to get champagne.

I promise you they're opening it right now.

Before everybody's too drunk,
I need a list of names.

I promised them we'd staff up immediately
and we're going over there today.

Can't we wait to see what
the scope of the campaign will be?

Is this about the bonuses again?
There are no bonuses this year.

Now, next year...

Joan, shall we address the men?

Congratulations.

You wanted to talk to me?

You're not busy?

I'm not in the mood.

You really have no idea
when things are good, do you?

I swear,
I don't really need to talk right now.

Drink with me.

I have to talk about
something kind of serious.

I can't put a girl on Jaguar.

These car guys...

I just can't.

- But, you know...
- It's not that.

Is this about Joan being made partner?

What?

The circumstances...

She's been with us 13 years.

I want you to know that

the day you saw something in me

my whole life changed.

And since then, it's been my privilege

to not only be at your side,
but to be treated like a protégée

and for you to be my mentor
and my champion.

But?

But

I think I've reached a point

where it's time for me
to have a new experience.

Really?

I'm giving my notice.

I've accepted another offer.

- Are you done?
- I'm giving the customary two weeks.

My last day will be the third.

- And don't think...
- Hold on.

It's been crazy around here
and I know I've been taking you for granted.

And, frankly, I'm impressed.

You finally picked the right moment
to ask for a raise.

It's time for me to move on.

Come on.

I'm serious.

You're serious?

It wasn't easy.

I'm sure it wasn't.

Well, good for you. Where are you going?

Cutler Gleason and Chaough.

Perfect.

Okay.

Well, let's pretend I'm not responsible

for every single good thing
that's ever happened to you,

and you tell me the number or make one up

and I'll b*at it.

There's no number.

There's no number?

How long do you want to play this out?

I'm sorry,

but you know this is what you would do.

You don't need to wait until the third.

I've got a room full of
freelancers out there.

I'll get by.

I understand.

Don't be a stranger.