05x13 - The Phantom

[bunniefuu]

What are you doing? I'll make breakfast.

Don, you're gonna be late.

Damn it.

- Bonjour, Marie.
- Would you like an omelet?

I'd better not.

You can't eat an egg?

Do I have to call the dentist?

It'll go away. It always does.

Go easy on the mouthwash.

Have fun.

Why bother him?

With what?

"We're sorry that there's been
no response to your reel.

"We would encourage you to try our
advanced film workshop for a low..."

What is it?

I paid for a screen test.

They were supposed to send it to agents.

And they weren't interested?

How could they have
sent it to anybody but me in a week?

They're selling classes.

It's a great thing
to take advantage of hopeless people.

Hopeless?

Beth, I don't know
if you remember Pete Campbell.

Of course. We almost had dinner.

How was the second honeymoon?
Did you create another beneficiary?

So where are you off to?

She's gonna stay
with her sister for a little bit.

And where is that?

You know what, honey?
I'm going to the smoker.

- We'll have to stand.
- You don't have to come.

Don't take it personally.

She's in a mood.

Excuse me. Can I just get by here, please?

- Go right ahead.
- Thank you.

Morning.

-38? Where are you going?
- I made a mistake.

Okay.

Because I heard that
the parachute company upstairs

got a big government contract
and moved to Washington

to be closer to the cemetery or something.

For once, mind your own business, Harry.

All I'm saying is if we're getting more space,
I'll take anything without a column in it.

We offered you another office
and you turned it down.

You didn't want his office either.

So is it true or not?

I need a window, Joan. I'm getting scurvy.

Adam?

Topaz. Always less expensive. Never cheap.

- I hate it.
- No, you don't.

So we're aiming for cheap girls?

- Girl's not cheap.
- So we're cheap.

Art, come on.
We agreed on a value approach.

- I hate the word "cheap."
- And so do I!

That's why I put the word
"never" in front of it.

You say the word, you put it on their mind.

I hate to quote you directly,

but didn't you say that with Topaz,
a girl could be sexy for pocket change?

I thought it was gonna be
"Two for one, twice the fun."

That really sounds cheap.

Perhaps Don can answer this.

Gentlemen, how are you?

Art and Marvin object to the word "cheap."

You're aware the word
does not refer to Topaz.

Clearly it states the exact opposite.
And it's very funny.

We're supposed to be part of a fantasy,

and I don't think cheap
is part of any girl's fantasy.

Why don't you get a girl's opinion?

I used to take that as a given here.

And I'm not talking about
black coffee out there.

- We're happy to copy test it for you.
- What's that gonna cost?

They're not charging us.
They should've done it already.

- Let me walk you out.
- See you soon.

Why the hell didn't you get any research?

Because we never had
to do it for them before.

The client didn't like it and we did.

In the end, isn't that
how we know it's good?

- Then this is a success.
- I consider it a success.

You didn't have to go a single day
without telling me I'm an idiot.

I'll tell you what,
I'm so bored of this dynamic.

I have your sister-in-law.

- Hello, Judy.
- No, it's me.

Beth.

- I know who it is.
- I have to see you.

Jesus, I'm at work.

Clara, could you go to the lobby
and get me a pack of Life Savers?

What's wrong with the machine?

I want them fresh.

So you ran into me on the train
and suddenly remember who I was?

Meet me where you wanted to meet before,
the Hotel Pennsylvania.

I'll be there at noon
under the name Mrs. Campbell.

I hope you like waiting. That's what I did.

This may be our last chance.

Why is this so hard?

It has to be 125 words
and 15 of them have to be "Ajax."

Fellas, can I have Miss Olson
to myself for a minute?

Do you smoke?

Not really.

Well, get started.

Smoke it, name it, sell it.

What is it?

Philip Morris' top secret ladies' cigarette.

Leo Burnett thinks it's too small,
and now it's in review.

So it's yourjob to make sure they're sorry.

- Great.
- Evan!

Flip through the research at your leisure
and then get your little ones on it.

Did they tell you anything I should know?

Does your boyfriend light your cigarettes?

- I don't smoke.
- Yes, you do.

It's gotta make noise.
Maybe she lights it herself.

So is that what it is,
or is it something like that?

You're a woman and you smoke.
What do you want?

All of last year's third
and fourth quarters' work has posted

with sizeable checks from Vicks,
Sugarberry and Heinz in the bank.

And with Mohawk returning
to its prestrike billings,

revenues are up 34% from last year,
making this our best quarter.

It's March. It's our only quarter.

Not this year. Ever.

And with Jaguar due to run

and Butler sh**ting
and running within the month,

projections for next quarter
are equally bright.

Have you found me an office?

Unfortunately, I was unable
to go upstairs this morning.

Harry Crane.

But I am meeting
with the building manager at lunch.

Get more than we need.

Any objections?

I'm sorry, but I feel
someone has to voice the negatives.

Perhaps after one quarter, we should be
careful not to overextend ourselves.

Can we just vote?

Or we could table
this discussion until June.

- All in favor of tabling the vote?
- Aye.

Tabling does not require a vote.
It only needs to be seconded.

- What is this, parliament?
- Is this meeting over yet?

No, it's not.

Don, I give you my proxy.
I have things to do.

We can do that?

Thank God.

Stop it.

- I knew you'd show.
- Because I'm pathetic?

If you're so angry, why did you come?

You know I had to.

Come sit with me.

I'm not going to my sister's.

I... Well, Howard checked me
into the hospital this morning.

For what? What's wrong?

It's hard to explain,
but I've been very blue

and the doctors seem to think
the only thing to do is electroshock.

Shock treatment? You're not crazy.

Look, Peter, I wanted to see you
because it's going to be different after.

It always is.

You've done it before?

Yes.

And it creates this sort of gray cloud.

The last time, I lost months and...

This is wonderful. You're wonderful.

I don't want to forget
and I'm afraid I will.

I told them I was going
to my niece's birthday party.

I have to be back by 5:00
so I'll be ready for tomorrow.

What makes you think I would do this?
You are crazy.

Please.

Please give me this.

Oh, God.

Why does everybody want redheads?

Anybody can become a redhead.
I mean, even Julia's working.

Working?

She did three days on Dark Shadows
and then they fired her and cut her out.

sh*t. I keep telling her how good she was.

This is why you're not working.
You won't answer the phone.

Hello?

I can hear you.

Heavy breathing?

I thought it was a wrong number,
but they keep calling

and they never say they're sorry.

I wish you would have told me
we had company.

I wouldn't have come out like this.

Hello. Nice to meet you.

- Mother, this is Emily from class.
- Pleasure.

Megan, did you get me an appointment
for a wash and set?

Yes, Mama.

- How long are you in town for?
- Only a week.

I wanted to spend Easter with my daughter.
My husband is an atheist.

What are your plans for today?

- We are looking at the casting notices.
- Bonne chance.

She's so elegant and encouraging.

I guess so.

Listen.

I hope you know that if I could ever help you
in any way, I would want you to ask.

Okay.

My agent put me up for this part.
It's really cute.

It's based on Beauty and the Beast

and, well, it's a commercial
for Barnett shoes.

And?

Don's the Draper
in Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, isn't he?

- Do you mean Butler shoes?
- Yes, that's it.

Look, I really don't want
to make you uncomfortable.

I am completely prepared for no. I just...

It' a European type.

I'm sorry, but Don doesn't do that.
That's not the way it works.

It's really up to the client.

All I want is an audition.

I'd ask you who I have to sleep with,
but I don't think you'd like it.

Okay. I'll see what I can do.

I am your eternal sl*ve.

But if it doesn't work out,

you're gonna have to act
like you never asked.

Now find me a job.

I should go.

Howard's coming by after work.

It was terrible.

I couldn't find the party,
then I couldn't get a cab.

For four hours?

Don't tell me you're not happy right now.
Don't tell me you don't feel better.

Howard can't make you do this.

He wants to control you. He's a monster.

You just hate him
because he voted for Goldwater.

This is not a joke.

Let's go to Los Angeles. I've been there.
It's filled with sunshine.

I can't.

Why?

It's so dark, Peter,

that I just

get to this place
and I suddenly feel this door open

and I wanna walk through it.

That's for weak people,

people who can't solve a problem.

You want to solve a problem? Zip me up.

And then you'll leave.

- And what if you forget you love me?
- Peter.

I don't know you and you don't know me.

We just happen to have the same problem.

I know, but we're only sad
because we're apart.

Then I was wrong.

I really should go.

Why?

Because it works.

Really?

Five more minutes.

- Hello.
- How are you feeling?

- Better.
- Good.

Just in case, I made soup.

I'll change for dinner.

We'll be right out.

Are you really feeling better?
I didn't get a kiss.

I swear I'm better.

Emily was telling me that Butler shoes
is sh**ting a new commercial.

"Beauty and the Beast."

Well, she said they're looking
for a European girl.

And I was thinking,

well, I'd be mad at myself if I didn't ask,

and, well, I wouldn't ask

if I didn't think I'd be right for it,
but I really am.

What?

All I want you to do
is put my name in a pile.

I know they're gonna wanna see
what I look like on film

and I happen to have it.

You wanna be in a commercial?

I wanna work.

It's in town, so I'd be home for dinner.

- I thought you hated advertising.
- I never said that.

Well, you certainly don't think it's art.
And you're an artist, aren't you?

Are you mad at me?

I'm just surprised.

It's not theater, it's not Broadway,
it's not film.

A national commercial?
All my friends would k*ll for it.

- You'd get in the union, you'd get exposure.
- You'd get money.

That's why they want it.
You don't need that.

Do you know how hard this was
for me to even ask you?

Do you know how hard it would be to ask
Charles Butler Jr. to hire my wife?

I just want an audition.
I'll be Megan Calvet.

Ken, Stan and Ginsberg are gonna be there.
They know who you are.

- I'm gonna call the dentist.
- No. I'm better.

Listen, just forget I brought any of this up.

It's just...

It's been so hard, you know.

I do. Look, you don't want it this way.

You wanna be somebody's discovery,
not somebody's wife.

You're right. I know you're right.

- Aren't you gonna get it?
- No. They've been hanging up all day.

Hello?

Who is this?

- Hello, is Marie there?
- Emile?

Marie, s'il vous plait.

It's your father. I think he's drunk.

Hello?

Daddy's on the phone.

- AII?, Emile.
- She's got it.

Marie, it's Roger.

Marie, it's Roger Sterling.
I've used up all the French I know.

What is Regina?

Thank you.

Megan, you know I would if I could.

Of course.

I'm gonna take a bath before dinner.

How did you know I was here?

Because Don was complaining
you were drinking all his liquor.

So you wanted to see me?

You could have arranged a dinner
for the four of us.

Really? You'd do that?

No, because I'm not that kind of woman.

No, no, of course you're not.

It's just, well, I enjoy your company

and I thought if you were willing
to broach impropriety ever so slightly,

I could have dinner
brought to my apartment.

The kid from room service can chaperone.

Room service? Is it a hotel?

The Stanhope.
And you can just ask for me in the lobby.

It's very discreet.

They just send the girls right up?

Look, I called you.

In fact, I had hung up on your daughter
about a dozen times today.

I'm not asking for anything more
than a little conversation, I swear.

I'll try to get away

on the condition
that you lower your expectations.

Below conversation?

Good morning, Mr. Draper.

How are you feeling?

- Could you get me some ice?
- Right away.

Mrs. Harris wants to see you.
She's been waiting in there quite a while.

Morning.

What can I do for you?

I want to reopen the conversation
about more space.

You're not gonna put anybody
in here, are you?

No.

It's just I've been trying so hard
to be so responsible and careful

and I don't even know why,

because every day I open the mail
and there's more money.

That's the idea, isn't it?

I got this this morning.

The death benefit
from the company insurance policy.

It's $175,000.

So what's your question?

Why would he do that?

You'll never get an answer.
You can't think about that.

But I do. And then I can't stop it.
What could I have done?

Nothing.

It's not true.

Why didn't I give him what he wanted?

What did he want?

And now there's this, this profit.

How much did he put in for collateral
after Lucky Strike left?

$50,000.

We should pay that back.

- Shouldn't we have a vote?
- No.

Cut a check to his wife.

Are you under the weather?

I have a hot tooth.

I know a dentist.
He's in the steeple of the Chrysler Building.

Even if he can't help you,
you still get to see the view.

It'll go away.

I have your ice.

I'll take that.

Put that on your face, not in a drink.

I don't feel well.
Just go to The Cloisters without me.

No, Mother.

I'm sad.

I know.

What do I do?

Why are you always so nice to strangers?
You don't ever care what I wanna do.

You're supposed to be encouraging.

Not every little girl
gets to do what they want.

The world could not support
that many ballerinas.

Is that what you tell yourself?

I'm sorry to drop by like this.

If I sound distracted, it's only because
I'm waiting for a bed to be delivered.

My mother is coming to stay.

That should be helpful.

- May I?
- Of course.

I'd offer you something,
but I have nothing in the house.

First, let me offer my apologies.

But with the funeral abroad

and you declining our offer
to have a memorial,

I really haven't been sure
how to express our condolences.

It may be the difference in our cultures,
but we're not ones to wallow.

Well, I'm not sure if you're aware,

but last year the partners
were required to put up collateral.

And although the firm
has six years to repay,

it was unanimous that we try
and help you through this difficult time.

Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Yes, I hope you feel better.

I think it'll make a difference.

How much is it?

$50,000.

You had no right to fill
a man like that with ambition.

I found this in his wallet.

Who is this?

- I don't know.
- Don't just consider the office.

Think of all the brothels you frequent.

- I should go.
- Yes, perhaps you should.

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

It's probably difficult for you to believe,

but it was even more than $50,000
that already belonged to him,

so don't leave here thinking

that you've done anything for anyone
but yourself.

Hello.

Say hi to Daddy.

The table's set in there.
I wanted to leave these out for you.

What is this?

They're the plans for the pool.

They can start in May right after the rain.

That's you.

- I don't know, Trudy. It's awfully permanent.
- I know.

It'll add tremendous value to the property.

And Lord knows you're so much better
when you get some sun.

Tammy could drown.

What is wrong with you?

I'm sorry.

This doom and gloom, I'm tired of it.

Not one thing you said was true.

No dinner, no chaperone, no conversation.

Stop being demure.
You're already on the bed.

I hoped that you would call.

And I hoped that you would come.

And not just for obvious reasons.

I don't believe you.

You know, one of my partners,
he ended it all.

You'd have to be so sure you were going
someplace better, wouldn't you?

But I think maybe that place is here.

Why are you saying this?

Would you take LSD with me?

What?

I love that you're so calm,
but you're adventurous.

And honestly, I need to take it again
to really appreciate here

and I don't wanna do it alone.

And I think if you were there,
then it'd be okay.

Roger, please don't ask me for anything.

Please don't ask me to take care of you.

Is there anything else I can do?

There you are, right where you are.

I missed you.

Jesus. Come on.

Let's get you to bed.

- Where's your mother?
- She abandoned me.

You can't even kiss me?

Just go to the dentist,
because I need you right now.

- Megan.
- Please.

It's the only thing I'm good for.

What the hell happened today?

This is what you want, isn't it?
For me to be waiting for you.

That's why you won't give me a chance.

That's not true.

I know, I know.

Because it's either that or I'm terrible.

But how the hell would you know?

You're really drunk.

Sleep it off.

Where were you?

I have friends in New York.

How could you leave her like that,
drunk out of her mind?

She's married to you. That's yourjob.

She left my house a happy girl.

And you show up and she's miserable.

I know it's hard to watch,

but this is what happens
when you have the artistic temperament

but you are not an artist.

Take my advice,

nurse her through this defeat
and you shall have the life you desire.

I have postcards to write.

You almost had a nasty abscess.

You should have had it extracted days ago.

I kept thinking it would go away.

Yeah? You're lucky you didn't lose yourjaw.

Just breathe through your nose.

You're in bad shape, d*ck.

What are you doing here?

I lost my job when I d*ed.

I'm gonna do you a favor and take it out.

But it's not your tooth that's rotten.

Don't go.

Don't leave me.

Don't worry.

I'll hang around.

Get it?

You're gonna be sore,

so just take it easy
for the rest of the day.

Fill that prescription I gave you
and don't smoke for 24 hours.

Mrs. Dawes?

Beth, your brother's here to see you.

Yes, of course. Come in.

You know, you're right.

You really do have the same eyes.

I'm so glad you came.

How are you feeling?

I don't have a brother.

It was the only way I could get in.

But what are you doing here?

Well, I was worried about you.

That's right.

I'm sorry.

I'm in the wrong room.

But you can still visit.

But I'm here to visit my friend.

Please.

Please, keep me company.

What's wrong with your friend?

He...

He got involved

with another man's wife.

And that put him in the hospital?

From the complications.

Why did he do it?

Well, all the regular reasons, I guess.

He needed to let off some steam,

he needed adventure,
he needed to feel handsome again.

He needed to feel that he knew something,

that all this aging was worth something

because he knew things
young people didn't know yet.

He probably thought it would be like
having a few tall drinks

and feeling very, very good.

And then he'd go back to his life and say,

"That was nice."

But then he got sick?

When it went away,

he was heartbroken.

And then he realized everything
he already had was not right either

and that was why it had happened at all.

And that his life with his family was some

temporary bandage on a permanent wound.

Don't worry.

They'll fix him up here.

They're very good.

He'll be fine.

Well, it was nice to meet you.

Good luck with your friend.

Oh, my goodness.

How are you?

- Are you waiting for somebody?
- Nope.

What are you doing here?

- Did you lose yourjob?
- No.

Did you?

You look good.

How's Megan?

She's good.

You're kind of new at that job
to be avoiding the office.

Just knocking out the cobwebs.

Someone told me this works.

So it's going well?

Yeah.

Is that okay?

That's what happens
when you help someone,

they succeed and move on.

Don't you want them to?

I'm proud of you.

I just didn't know it would be without me.

Well, put me on your call list.

What are you working on?

We're trying to get that women's cigarette
you were after.

God, I miss that easy money.

It's easy to have. It's not easy to win.

You'll b*at it.

Well, I'm going to Virginia
to tour the factory.

I'm going on a plane.

- Richmond's nice.
- It's not Paris.

And I'm going with Frank Gleason.

- Will you give my love to Megan?
- Sure.

We should all get together.

Yes.

Howdy, partner!

What do you say we get off in Harrison,

get back on the train
and go get into some trouble?

- What?
- I'm on my own.

You can say you fell asleep. You did.

You are the most disgusting person
I have ever seen.

Come on!

How could you do that to that woman?

You just couldn't wait to get her
in the hospital and erase her brain.

It's you?

She always spreads her legs
for the first chump she can find.

What you doing?

Break it up!

- Knock it off!
- Gentlemen, calm down!

You okay, buddy?

You, Max Schmeling, you go that way.

- He started it.
- Out!

- My things are in the bar.
- That's not a surprise.

You're a real prick, you know that?

Listen, buddy, you're gonna
give it a couple of minutes,

you're gonna go down there and apologize.

To him?

Never.

You gotta ride the train every day
and he's a fellow commuter.

And I don't like fighting on my train.

It's your train.

Are you paying to ride on it?
We're paying you to ride on it.

You work for us, so why don't you
go down there and apologize to him?

- I'm about to throw you off.
- Go ahead, you fat piece of crap.

I am an officer of the New Haven line.

Well, I'm president
of the Howdy Doody circus army.

- That's it, come on. You're coming...
- Get your hands off me!

You can't do that!

Get off the train. Harrison!

Next stop, Harrison.

What on earth happened?
Were you in another car accident?

The car's fine. There's not a scratch on it.

I'm not worried about the car.

My goodness, look at you.

I fell asleep and ran into a ditch.

Come with me.

I can't live like this.

Knowing you're out there working so hard

and then wondering if you're going to
come home and in what condition.

I'll come home.

I think you were right.

And first thing tomorrow morning,

we're going to find you
an apartment in the city.

I think this is where the staircase goes.

I'm going to have
the same view as you, Don.

Congratulations.

There she is. There's our Beauty.

Nice to see you again.

You look perfect.

- When do we start?
- When they're ready.

I can't believe this is happening.

Miss Calvet, would you step in, please?

You know I love you.

Rehearsal in five.

Give me an Old Fashioned.

Excuse me, do you have a light?

Thank you.

I'm sorry, but my friend down there,

she was wondering.

Are you alone?