01x03 - What If... The World Lost its Mightiest Heroes?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "What If...?". Aired: August 11, 2021 to present.*
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Reimagining famous events from the films in the MC Universe.
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01x03 - What If... The World Lost its Mightiest Heroes?

Post by bunniefuu »

WATCHER: Time.

Space.

Reality.

It's more than a linear path.

It's a prism of endless possibility,

where a single choice can branch
out into infinite realities,


creating alternate worlds
from the ones you know.


I am the Watcher.

I am your guide through
these vast new realities.


Follow me and ponder the question...

"What if?"

There was an idea to bring
together a group of...

ROMANOFF: Remarkable people?

To see if they could
become something more?

I know. I've heard the speech.

Then you realize what's at stake.

Which is why I'm
surprised you'd wanna bet

the future of the Avengers
Initiative on that.

Stark may be eccentric,
but he's got potential.

What he's got is a hangover.

Did I ever tell you about this one time

I actually recruited a Russian assassin

to join my American covert ops team?

Vaguely rings a bell.

Then you should know, I'm
not afraid of a big swing.

Sir, I'm going to have to
ask you to exit the donut.

I told you I don't wanna join
your super-secret boyband.

No, no, no. See, I remember,
you do everything yourself.

- How's that working out for you?
- I've been worse.

You've become a problem, a
problem I have to deal with.

Contrary to your belief, you are
not the center of my universe.

- STARK: I get it.
- Hit him.

(SCREAMS) God. What'd she just do to me?

What did we just do for you?

That's lithium dioxide.
It's gonna take the edge off.

It's not a cure, it
just abates the symptoms?

Stark! You okay?

(COUGHS, GROANS)

- FURY: Stark!
- ROMANOFF: Tony. Tony!

He's dead.

WATCHER: Humanity, so eager, so
willing to face the impossible,


yet blind to the bigger picture.

Inside one week, three strange
and separate stories unfolded.


A genius battled his
demons both inside and out,


while the world met the
monster hiding in the man.


And a godly prince fell to Earth.

I am the Watcher.

And where humans see chaos,

I see the crucible that would transform

this collection of individuals
into a team of heroes.


At least, that's how things
played out in one universe.


But in this one...

Sir, we found it.

Kind of in the middle of
something here, Coulson.

COULSON: Not sure it can wait,
sir. Locals are getting curious.


Set up a perimeter and
tell the team I'm en route.

I may not have been a fan of
Tony Stark, but I didn't k*ll him.

Save your spin for Pierce.

He wants you in New York
first thing for questioning.

Wanna give us a minute?

This wasn't me.

I know that, but
S.H.I.E.L.D. has protocols,

so my hands, like yours, are tied.

- You know these won't hold me.
- Oh, I'm counting on it.

Someone inside S.H.I.E.L.D.
compromised Stark's antidote.

I need someone on the
outside to find out who.

Sure you wanna take another
big swing on me, boss?

Safest bet I'll ever make.

Wow. So serious.

Maybe we should get some tunes going.

Lighten the mood.

(SCOFFS)

You guys are no fun. Here.
Mind holding these for me?

Of course. Uh... What?

(ALL GROANING)

I never did get what he sees in her.

Sure, she can land a punch, but
only 'cause people don't expect it.

(ALL GROANING)

What? Stop! Stop the truck!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh! Come on!

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(METAL DETECTOR WHIRRING)

BARTON: Best we can tell,

it's extremely powerful and
not from around here.

Electromagnetic, neutron, vita
radiations, all off the charts.

- (GUARD GROANS)
- (THUDS)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Well, that doesn't sound ominous at all.

It's been happening all night.

The artifact has a bit of an attitude.

Also, no one can lift it.

Not even Jackson and he does CrossFit.

Something that powerful goes missing,

someone always comes looking.

We just have to cross our
fingers that someone is an ally.

So, what's the move?

Same as always. Hope for the
best, prepare for the worst.

We got a man down. Sound the alarms.

- (ALARM BLARING)
- (MEN SHOUTING)

I think the worst just got here.

FURY: Coulson, talk to me.

We got a perimeter breach.
Multiple agents down and...

(GUARD GROANING)

Whoa.

I got visual on the intruder.

He's a Caucasian male,
mid-twenties with...

really great hair.

Excuse me?

COULSON: It's an accurate
description. Sir, he's gorgeous.


- I need eyes in the sky. Barton.
- BARTON: Already on it.

He's making a move on the hammer.

One sh*t, one k*ll,
sir. Just say the word.

FURY: Hold your fire. I wanna see this.

(SIGHS)

Whoa. Coulson wasn't lying
about the hair. That's nice.

Fury, now or never.

- (THOR GRUNTS)
- FURY: Hold your...

Damn it, Barton. I
told you to stand down.


I did! Wasn't me! I didn't sh**t!

GUARD : Drop your w*apon!

I swear, I didn't sh**t.

Your arrow would indicate otherwise.

This doesn't make any sense.
I don't slip. I don't misfire.

- What's the word on our intruder?
- Dead.

And if his blood samples
are to be believed,

he's almost a thousand years
old and not of this world.

First Stark, now Muscle Beach.

That's two high value
S.H.I.E.L.D. targets

k*lled by our own agents inside hours.

- Barton's sticking to his story?
- He's pretty bent out of shape in there.

- Won't talk to anyone.
- He'll talk to me.

(TRILLING)

Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.

Barton.

(FURY GRUNTS)

Barton. Coulson, get a medic.

How could this... Who
did you let in here?

- No one.
- COULSON: No one.

Stay with me. Stay with me.

We're running a tox screen to
see if it was a cyanide capsule.

Barton had a wife and kids.

If he was gonna go, it
wouldn't be willingly.

You think he was m*rder*d.

If I had to guess, my money is on
the same someone who k*lled Stark.

But Barton was in a locked
cell under observation.

There was no sign of
struggle, no entry wounds.

It's weird, but I also
have a space corpse

that looks like a Chippendales
dancer rotting on the next table over.

(SNIFFS)

Oh, wow.

Even while rotting, he
smells like lavender.

Really? (SNIFFING)

Mmm.

Still, there's not a lot
connecting a billionaire playboy

and a S.H.I.E.L.D. assassin,
unless you have any ideas.

There was an idea.

(SNIFFING)

Dr. Ross. Not sure if
you remember me, but...

(SIGHS) Oh, I remember.

And I'll tell you the
same thing I told you

the last time S.H.I.E.L.D.
came poking around.

I haven't seen him.

I'm not here about the green guy.

His name is Dr. Bruce Banner.
And I'm in a rush, Agent Romanoff.

I'm here about Tony Stark.
I believe he was m*rder*d.

What? By whom?

Me. Or at least someone's trying to
make it look that way, using this.

So, why did you come to me?

You're an expert in the tactical
applications of cellular biology.

There are plenty of others.
Why did you really come here?

I need to keep this
off S.H.I.E.L.D.'s radar

and you seem to have some
experience in that department.

Mmm. Well, your injector's clean

and there's no traces of
lethal pathogens of any kind.

Then what k*lled him?

BETTY: Whatever it was,
it wasn't biological.

Your antidote didn't even
make it out of the syringe.

It looks to me like a tiny projectile

of some kind was fired from the needle.

You're thinking nanotech?

I'm a biologist, not
a ballistics expert.

And I believe we're done here.

Huh. You got a side job, Dr. Ross?

What? I don't know. I...

A student must have left it there.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)

FURY: I got bad news and worse news.

- You in a secure location?
- Not currently.

FURY: Barton's dead.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

FURY: I know what he meant to you.

(SIGHS)

Who do I k*ll?

FURY: Looks like his and
Stark's murders are connected.

- ROMANOFF: By what?
- FURY: The Avengers Initiative.

Seems our k*ller is going
after the candidates.

ROMANOFF: If someone wanted
to kneecap S.H.I.E.L.D.,


that's a good place to start.

Who else is on the list?

FURY: That's the thing.
Bruce Banner and you.


ROMANOFF: Under different circumstances,

I'd be flattered. So would Clint.

FURY: You need to get yourself to
ground. But first, find Banner.


Funny thing, boss. Think I already have.

I... I'm sorry, but I
can't let you in there.

Move, or I'll make you move.

No need for v*olence, Agent Romanoff.

That's probably not gonna
work out. For anyone.

What? What is it?

We need to go. Now.

(HELICOPTER BLADES HOVERING)

(MUSIC PLAYING OVER CAR STEREO)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

FURY: What's your , Coulson?

Coffee run. Needed a breather.

Got you a double macchiato.
Just how you like it.

(RUMBLING)

What the...

Director, sensors are reporting
a massive energy surge.

- Seems like it came out of nowhere.
- What are you seeing, Coulson?

A meteorological
phenomenon of some kind.

Oh, boy. Whatever it
is, it came with bogeys.

- They look like they're from Earth?
- COULSON: Maybe Middle-earth?

Go get 'em, boss.

Looking for directions, sir? Because
you seem to have lost your way.

(CHUCKLES) You would do
best to kneel before a god.

We don't really do that here.
No matter who or what you are.

- I am Loki, Crown Prince of Asgard.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)

The rightful king of Jotun...

(CLEARS THROAT) Jotunheim. And God of M...

Mischief. Are you gonna take that?
I'm in the middle of something here.

Damn it, Fury! Pick up.

Hey, I'm telling you, it's safer
for everyone if I fend for myself.

- I sort of can't die.
- Then I guess you're in luck.

Look alive, people.

I want strike teams locked, loaded,
and ready to move in on my mark.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

I'm a little busy here, Widow.

ROMANOFF: Oh, good. We'll
start a support group.


I've got General Ross, a
dozen sn*pers and a few tanks.

- What are you dealing with?
- FURY: Space Vikings.

- Show-off.
- FURY: Handle it, then get to ground.

- (CELL PHONE BEEPS)
- (GROANS)

Lady trouble?

Well, what exactly is it that
brought you here, Mr. Loki?

Vengeance.

An agent of this planet
m*rder*d Thor Odinson,

the Crown Prince of Asgard.

Natasha Romanoff, agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

I have Bruce Banner in my
custody. You need to stand down.

(GROANS)

- Hey, hey! Don't sh**t!
- Who the hell opened fire?

SOLDIER : Not us, sir. We're clear.

Bruce! It's okay. We're okay, right?

I'll get you out of
this. I swear on my life.

Director Fury, you fail to comprehend
the enormity of the situation.

Oh, I'm comprehending, all right.

Agent Romanoff, I think you might
be better off getting out of here.

Which is why I have to
ask, what's in the box?

Ooh.

Such insolence will not be tolerated.

And your planet will
be taken as retribution.

(BANNER GROANING)


(ROARS)

- Take it down!
- (g*ns f*ring)

(HULK ROARING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(HULK GRUNTING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ROARS)

(ROARS)

Oh, you want some of this? Come on!

Father! No! Stop! Stop, please!

- (MAN SCREAMING)
- (SOBBING) Stop!

- There's nothing you can do.
- That's my father. He'll listen to me.

The General isn't the
one who started this.

(GASPING)

Then who did?

(GRUNTING)

Bruce!

Bruce!

(SOBBING) No. No, no, no. Bruce.

But he can't die. He can't die.

He can't.

Declaring w*r on this planet
will not bring your prince back!

SIF: Wait.

He's not wrong. The All-Father
would want us to listen.

We have the same enemy here.

The person who k*lled your brother
also k*lled two of my people.

Good people. We should
be working together.

We are not allies.

Then let me help you.

I promise, when I find
your brother's k*ller,

you will have your pound of flesh.

What a fascinating choice of words.

But I shall require the entire corpse.

You need to give me time.

Very well.

You have until the next
rise of Midgard's sun

to deliver my brother's assassin,

or I will reduce this
planet to ash and ice.

COULSON: (OVER PHONE)
Why do you need my password?

ROMANOFF: (SIGHS) I need to get
into the Avengers Initiative files,

but I'm locked out of the
system and wanted for m*rder.

COULSON: I'm not telling
you my password, Romanoff.


- ROMANOFF: Why not?
- COULSON: Because I'm not.

ROMANOFF: Coulson. Clint
was your friend, too.

(SIGHS) Hashtag-Steve-Steve-Steve-
I-heart-Steve- - - - .

Wow.

- Good one, Coulson.
- What?

No, nothing. That's great. Thank you.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Huh. How did a woman
who d*ed two years ago

access the database yesterday?

You won't win. Not against
me. Not against S.H.I.E.L.D.

(GROANING)

FURY: You found me. You know what to do.

(ALL GROANING)

Fury, it's Hope! It's all about Hope!

(SCREAMS)

ROMANOFF: (OVER PHONE)
It's Hope! It's all about Hope!

It's Hope! It's all about Hope!

It's Hope! It's all about Hope!

COULSON: Four hours to sunup, sir.

I haven't forgotten.

Sir, I understand that this Prince
Loki situation is the very reason

you proposed the Avengers Initiative

for a group of remarkable individuals
to fight the battles we can't.

I wrote the speech.

There's still one name left, sir.

Yours.

I'm not the only Avenger left.

What?

COULSON: Is that a beeper from the ' s?

Also our last hope.

"Hope. It's all about Hope."

(CHUCKLES) Widow.

COULSON: Boss?

- Where are you going?
- Not sure.

Either make a pact with a
god or deal with a devil.

You got a name, soldier?

I'm here to see your boss.

If it isn't Hank Pym.

HANK: The balls you have to come
here and stand over her grave.

Oh, don't worry about her.

I doubt she'd mind,
considering she's dead.

She d*ed because
S.H.I.E.L.D. k*lled her.

She d*ed because of you.

Agent Hope Van Dyne was k*lled on
a mission outside Odessa, Ukraine.

Agent?

She was my daughter! My little girl.

She missed her mother
and you exploited that!

Her mother was an agent?

Don't play the fool with me, Fury.

You filled her head with nonsense about

protecting humanity
and saving the world.

You just left out how she d*ed
the same way her mother did,

doing S.H.I.E.L.D.'s dirty work!

And that gave you
permission to m*rder them?

Anthony Stark? Clint Barton?
Bruce Banner? Natasha Romanoff?

You took everything from me.

I wanted you to hurt.

To witness everything
you've ever worked for...


fought for...

hoped for...

die.

And what of Thor, Prince of Asgard?

Goldilocks? You would have
recruited him in a heartbeat.

Sold him some malarkey
about being a hero.

That's what you do. What
S.H.I.E.L.D. has always done.

Find others to fight your battles.

That's it? You m*rder*d
him because you could?

His death was a favor.
Yours will be a triumph.

What the...

You're still pretty spry for
a guy with a corner office.

You never cared about Hope.

I don't give a damn about any of them.

- (FURY LAUGHS)
- (GRUNTS)

Fury! Come on.

You're supposed to be a k*ller?
Well, come on, then. k*ll me.

- (GASPS)
- Ooh.

HANK: How are you...

- (FURY LAUGHING)
- Stop moving, Fury.

What are you doing? Let's go...

It's like you're everywhere. Aah!

(GRUNTS)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Uh, what's with the goth kid?

Hello. Trickster God. Hi.

S.H.I.E.L.D. is people,

people willing to give their lives

for something greater than themselves

to save the world from men like you.

Agent Hope Van Dyne understood that
and she will never be forgotten.

Then you honor her.

Then honor her.

Well, this was an absolute
pleasure, Director Fury.

Good. Now take your hammer
and get off my planet.

(CHUCKLES) About that,
we should be allies.

You know, I've just had an idea.

I was thinking I might extend
my stay here on Midgard.

For how long?

(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

Good evening, my loyal subjects.

It is with great pride that
I stand before you today

to announce that in just one day's time,

the nations of Earth have
put aside their differences

and united under my command.

It's the unspoken truth of humanity
that you crave subjugation.


The bright lure of freedom hobbles
you, diminishes your life's joy.


You were made to be ruled.

So I have come to help
you fulfill your destiny.

The Avengers fell before
they had a chance to rise.

May they rest in peace.

They can, but we won't.

The Avengers were always
meant to be more than a team.

They were an idea,

the affirmation of humanity's need
to believe that in our darkest hour,

we will find our heroes.

I believe that in this universe,
as in every other, hope never dies.


As long as someone keeps their
good eye on the bigger picture.


Welcome back, Captain.

So where's the fight?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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