03x01 - Neon Lights Ball (special)

[bunniefuu]

Normally I prefer more of a cramped
lampshade environment

- But this place is also a fave.
- Thanks.

Wicked dress!
You're gonna look so great tonight.

Oh, so are you.
I'm sure your dress will be amazing.

- This is my dress.
- I know!

And I... love it!

Nice one. She totally didn't get
that you don't love it.

Has anyone ever told you
that you're a really bad whisperer?

No, they totally haven't.

Guys, guys! Emergency!

- Is someone hurt?
- No.

- Ooh, is someone really hurt?
- No!

Oh, my web series
broke million subscribers?

How would that be an emergency?

- Oh, is there an emergency?
- Somebody stole my dress!

It's okay. Everyone just calm down.

This is why I always bring
a back-up gown.

And back-up accessories.

Hmm, do you have anything
a little less... puncture-prone?

And back-up de-accessories!

You know, for a VK look,
it's actually pretty cute.

I'm sold!

Ta-da!

Wow, how did you change so fast?

Seriously, one second
you're wearing one dress

and then you're wearing the other.
It was like... out of a cartoon.

My mum was raised by fairies.

Quick outfit change is a family skill.

When I was a baby, I could change
my own diaper in two seconds flat!

Thank you for that visual.

Thank you, Evie. You're a life-saver.

Oh, I've been called worse.

- Oh, that's so sweet.
- That's so sweet.

This deserves a celebration.

Tea me.

Oh, my dress!

Don't look at me!

I'm not the one
that always makes a mess of everything.

You, you did this!

What? No, of course, not!

Why would I do that?
I-I love your dress!

That's why you destroyed it.

You're jealous! You VKs can't stand it
if someone looks better than you!

- She has a point.
- No, she doesn't.

Allie, I swear I didn't do this.

But I promise I can fix it.

I think.

Dress, dress, away from this mess,

rid this gown of its distress!

Okay, don't freak out!
Yet.

Dress, dress, I must express,

make this gown a bit to impress!

Wait! I actually really like it.

You do? You're just saying that.

No, I mean it. It's really...
alternative.

Alternative to what?

She means it's very fashion-forward.

If I didn't think
I was already wearing the best dress,

I'd be super-jelie.

But I do, so I'm not.

You know what?
I think it's cool too.

Really?

Even the Queen of Hearts herself
would be jealous of that number.

I would totally feature that on my web show.

VK gone viral.

It is kind of funky.

Oh, yeah. Funky!

That's what I was going for, you know,
'cause that's why they call me

the funk master!
The funk-munko, funky town.

- Quit while you're ahead.
- Good call.

Well, I guess the roses aren't
the only thing being painted red!

I'll take it.

"VKs gone viral"?

Isn't it interesting that we both
ended up with a little villain edge

for a party look?
Maybe a little too interesting.


Don't worry, guys. I am sure that
Jay and Carlos will be here any minute.

You said that minutes ago.

I'm sure
they're just around the corner.

I just hope that corner
isn't on the other side of Auradon.

How big is this carpet
they're picking us up in?

I don't do crowded.

Oh, it's a mid-size, so we'll be fine.

But from what I heard about Jay,
I'm sure it's stolen.

Jay doesn't steal... much.

We're going to be riding
in a stolen carpet?

All right!
This party just got interesting.

What's the wind situation like
on this carpet?

Should I be worried about my hair?

No, because I packed hair helmets
for everyone.

I designed them myself!

I take back everything bad
I ever said about you.

- What did you say about me?
- Nothing!

Bravo, ladies! Superbly sweet moment.

But since Carlos and Jay are a no-show,

we need to figure out
how to get to the party straight away.

- Do you have a spare magic carpet?
- Oh, because I'm a genie

who lives in a lamp, I automatically
fly around on an old rug?

She didn't pass
her carpet driver's test.

I'm taking it again next week.
th time's the charm.

Jane, you're all magical now.
Can't you whip us up a ride?

- Hey, I can help.
- No offense, Mal,

but the VKs are clearly
not coming through today.

- Sorry.
- That's all right.

Normally, I would let you help out,
but whenever you get involved

it leads to disaster. No offense.

Okay?

It's because you destroy
everything you touch. No offense.

So, do you know
what "no offense" means?

- 'Cause I'm starting to take some.
- Please don't take it that way.

It's only I don't trust you, no off...
Sorry.

Jane, what do you say?

Can you bibbidi bobbidi us up
some transpo?

- Oh, I-I don't know if I can do...
- No presh,

but if I don't get to the party soon,
I am going to die.

What about Lonnie?
Can't she pick us up?

She went early
to set up the DJ equipment,

but I'm sure
I can try something magical.

Jane, let's see what you've got.

Uh, well, I'm really very new
to this whole magic thing.

Uh... Bibbidi bobbidi!

- Whoa.
- That's a vegetable.

- Well, it's a gourd.
- Gourd! Just...

- Does it fly?
- That won't do.

I get car-sick on flying pumpkins.

It's not a flying pumpkin!

Oh, so we're heading to the party
in some sort of pumpkin boat.

- It's not a boat.
- A pumpkin took-took?

- No!
- Pumpkin trolley?

- No!
- Pumpkin roller skates, then.

I can't be seen in that.
Pumpkin clashes with my eyes.

Yeah. I don't think that will help me
get more viewers for my web show.

Guys! Let Jane do her thing.

- Go ahead, Jane.
- Thank you!

Like Cindy's pumpkin carriage,
a legend to us all...

an even sweeter ride
shall take us to the Neon Lights Ball!

- Sweet ride!
- Wait, this veggie car is carb dried.

I'm not going to get nasty grease seeds
on my dress, am I?

Nope. All clear.

And it's green. Runs on vegetable oil!

Great! We'll all show up to the party
smelling like salad dressing.

Nice work, Jane. You know
I couldn't have done it better myself.

Oh, it's nothing.

Just bending the laws of the universe.
It's by my mother's forbiddance!

I can't believe that Carlos and Jay flaked.

I know. And we've been working so hard
to get people on our side!

If you, ladies, don't get in here,
I'm gonna turn into a pumpkin.

That doesn't even make sense.

Your hair doesn't make sense!

It's time for the crowning
of the Neon Lights King and Queen!

Ben and Evie!

Oh, the jewels on the crown
totally match my eyes!

I look so good!

I don't even need a filter!

I know
I'm new to the whole crown thing,

but I don't think plastic jewels
are supposed to poke you in the skull.

- Beauty is pain.
- And I'm gorgeous.

I know. I really am.

And now, we invite our King and Queen
to do a solo dance!

Dance for me.
I've got a date with some bling.

Oh, crownie, I love you!

Did my queen just dump me
for fake jewelry?

She sure did, but, hey! You gotta admit
they do make a lovely couple.

They do, but I can't let
"crownie" outdance me.

- Shall we?
- We shall!

It's tough.

Where is the music?

Maybe it's a really slow slow dance?

Excuse us.

Lonnie, what's going on?

I don't know what happened.

Nothing's working.

Someone cut the equipment cord!

Uh, we're having
some technical difficulties.

Please hold.

- Someone cut the DJ cord!
- What?

- Who?
- Uh, don't worry.

I'll sing for you.
No, really, I mean it.

No, no, no, guys, I insist.
I got this.

Seriously. Go on.

Dance.

Why you're standing over there,
acting like you just don't care?

We can make our own kind of music.

We might come from different worlds,
might not be your kind of girl,

But I just wanna let go and lose it.

We are lost and [found],
So let's go turn the b*at around

And maybe find a brand new sound.

Let's turn it up right now.

Because the night is young

And it's just begun.
[lyrics taken from wikia]

Um, from what I see, it looks like
Freddie's kinda saved the party.

I don't know why you, guys,
are throwing your shade.

- Shade?
- Throwing shade is like...

talking trash with your eyes, darling.

Like this.

I know what it means.

I just wanted to see if you did.

The night is young

And I wish that it would never end.

Don't you think it's kinda strange
that right after the DJ cord was cut,

she jumped in, all ready to sing?

Maybe she wanted to help?

Or... maybe she wanted the spotlight?

I bet she cut the DJ cord.

You'd better stop trash talking
before you cut a vocal cord.

Hey! Whose side are you on anyway?

The side that writes songs that good.

I smell something viral.
Go on, girl!

And go till the sun comes up.

The night is young.

Hit it, Lonnie.

You know I got it, I got it.
I'm your girl.

You're stepping on my toes,
just like last time.

Sorry, not a lot of couples dancing
on the Isle of the Lost.

Why don't I just step on yours
and we'll call it even?

Ow!

I couldn't resist.

You just look so cute
when you're in pain.

Jordan? Carlos?

I'm Jay. That's Jordan.

Oh, man. Why do I always do that?

Hallo! You've known me ever since
stabbing me in jousting class

when we were, like, .
And you still can't get my name right.

Come on. How many boys
do you know named "Jordan"?

- Um, actually...
- Hi, guys.

Thanks for picking us up...
hours ago.

- We didn't pick you up.
- I was being sarcastic.

I didn't even get that!

Living in Auradon
is really messing with me.

Yeah. Where were you, guys?

We got carpet jacked!

- What?
- That doesn't happen in Auradon!

Apparently, it does.

We were really worried about you, guys.

I wasn't.

Sorry. Do honest.

What happened? You look rough.

I mean, even more than you usually do.

I didn't have the chance
to pick up my tux.

And it was awesome.

White with giant
black Dalmatian spots.

I was gonna look dog-mazing.

- That is a tragedy.
- I know, right?

Uh, I was talking about the tux.

She's kinda right.

Not having to see you in that tux
is worth the carpet getting stolen.

- I know. Good one.
- So who did it?

I don't know!
We were getting ready to head out

and the rug was pulled
from underneath our feet!

Literally!

Seemed fitting.

So, you never saw who did it.

Hey! Isn't that the mascot?

Oh, good. Jane found it.

- Found what?
- Jane?

- That's me.
- You're not in the mascot uniform!

Uh, yeah.
'Cause this is a formal night.

And besides,
how could I be in my mascot uniform?

It was stolen, remember?

But if you're not in it,
then who is?

Guys, it's okay!

I'm sure
there's an explanation for why...

- What?
- Hey, let me go!

Ben?

Where did he go?

Ben?

Ben!

Ben!

We need search music.

Ben!

Whoa.

Does the concept "divide & conquer"
not exist here in Auradon?

I don't understand.
How can he just disappear?

- I don't know.
- Did you do this?

- Seriously?
- Why would you even ask that?

Well, Ben did magically disappear
and Mal does have magic, so...

- So what?
- So you could have done this.

Why would I make
my boyfriend disappear?

Maybe it's part of your plot.

My plot?

Oh, you know. To take over Auradon
and other evil things.

And why would I do that?

Because you're VK.

I turned my mom
into a gecko for you, people.

What else do I have to do
to prove myself?

Hi! Sorry to interrupt.

No, I'm not.

- CJ
- Hey, Malsie. Miss me?

Oh, I was going to give up
dramatic entrances.

So flashy.

But... what can I say?
I'm hooked.

I don't understand what's going on,

but here's some pirate music.

Let me get this straight,

you, guys, know each other?

CJ's captain Hook's daughter.

Oh. Well, that does explain
the seaweed stench.

That's rotting culp(?).

Great! Another VK.

Okay, I'll stop.

Another VK in Auradon?

Are you the pirate...

Do you have a hook?

Wait a minute. All of the bad things
that have been happening around here.

It was all you?

Oh, stop. You'll make a girl blush.

Actually, I'm kind of offended
that you didn't figure it out sooner.

Where is Ben, CJ?

Wave hi, Benny!

Ben!

- Oh, my gosh!
- So, Malsie,

what's first: storm a castle,
take prisoners,

maniacally laugh in people's faces?

Oh, we're going to free the hostages.

Interesting choice,

but you and your mum
have always thought outside the box.

CJ, why would you do this?

Well, why wouldn't I?

We're villain kids. It's what we do.

You really should lock your stuff away.

Stealing that mascot uniform
was like taking candy from a baby.

And, Mal, framing you with the bracelet
was just icing on the old cake.

I tried ruining your party dresses,

but it seems these VKs
have gone soft.

They just had to...
What is it you, Auradon kids, call it?

Save the day.

Oh, and let's not forget the no-shows.

I gotta hand it to you,
Miss Bibbidi-Bobbidi, over here.

A pumpkin car? Not my thing.
But you pulled it off.

Stealing the carpet from you two was
probably the most fun I'd had yet!

You stole the carpet? Nice!

You know, maybe we can meet up
after your hostile takeover.

You can give me some pointers.

Quiet. I'm soliloquizing.

And then, the grandest of them all:

cutting that DJ cord,
so our little Freddie

could have her moment
in the spotlight.

It was the least I could do

as a thank-you
for sneaking me into Auradon.

- Freddie?
- Surprise.

You've been hiding CJ this whole time?

- I can explain!
- So can I.

She was following orders.
Freddie is my second-in-command.

Uh, no. We're partners.

Exactly. I tell you what to do
and you do it.

- Partners!
- Excuse me?

I spent my whole life
livin' in my dad's shadow.

I'm not gonna live in yours too.

I get it. My dad never let me
steer the ship either.

But we don't have to be
like our parents.

Exactly! We make our own choices.

We can veer
starboard on a squall together!

Uh, translation?

Partners? For reals!

What?!

We're going to pillage
and plunder together!

Freddie, I thought we were friends.

We are friends.

Then why are you
pillaging and plundering me?

Okay, that just sounds weird.

Because her captain commands her
to pillage and plunder.

Still sounds weird.

Can we go back to you commanding me?
That's not very partnerly.

You're saying that
like it's a bad thing.

Because it is.

- I know the AKs are lame...
- Excuse me?!

...but at least
they don't go back on their word.

I'm disappointed in you, Freddie.

I thought you were badder than this.

Looks like I'll have to be
partner-less in crime.

So long, squarest of them all!

I'm sorry about that.

I guess for being kinda lame...

Auradon is kinda cool.

Do you forgive me? Are we...
still friends?

If I didn't forgive every friend
with a conniving stowaway,

I wouldn't have any friends.

I don't think
I'll ever understand you, people.

- Shouldn't we go after her?
- I don't know.

Freddie, are there any other surprises
we need to know about?

Not for me.

Well, then. Let's go after her tomorrow.

She may be a criminal,

but the bigger crime is
wasting this awesome neon lights party.

And I think we may know a little bit
about crime. Right, Evie?

- Right.
- Let's have a wicked good time!

Group selfie!