* Uh, uh, uh, uh
Joe:
It still feels random.
I searched
"Dallas plus Cowboys,"
I'm sure the first hit
is a crappy NFL fan site,
but the second site
that comes up?
Yeah, well,
maybe Rover knows
you don't give a sh*t
about football?
Yeah, I forgot you were
an all-American running back
at Cal.
Hey,
I went to a game once.
I'm just saying,
Rover has a relevance problem.
Hey, is Scientology
a religion or a cult?
Cult.
They obtained
non-profit status in October.
* With the bad-ass style
* Straightforward...
Never mind,
I'll figure out where it goes.
These results
are mediocre at best.
Final grade for Rover's
"genius" search engine -- C-.
[Scoffs] D-.
[Motorcycle engine revs]
Is that really necessary?
That doesn't sound right.
Sounds like
the, uh, gas line is --
I got it!
Okay.
Not like I literally grew up
in an auto shop or anything.
It's just
until the rain stops.
Gordon: Well,
I can't hear myself think.
Listen, if they fix
the relevance problem,
we could have a competition
on our hands.
Gordon: You know,
hit search for, um...
Cameron: Is that Rover?
We give it a C-.
That bad?
You really
haven't seen it?
No, I really haven't.
Wait, uh...
[Keyboard clacking]
Oh, yeah.
I see what you mean.
Even with
the basic rules engine,
the results are garbage,
the crawler's too static.
Mm.
Still, the way
they grabbed the titles
is actually kind of clever.
Okay, thanks for this --
Hey, I'm just gonna
check the HTML,
it takes one second.
**
Oh, yeah.
The algorithm's
too stupid to know
that there are
equivalent synonyms
for a search phrase,
or different spellings.
Like "color, c-o-l-o-r,"
the English spelling,
with a "u."
Still, I'd give it a B-.
Gordon: [Groans] Pbht!
No, a solid B
for concept,
but demerits
for poor execution.
Hmm.
You asked.
Actually, we didn't.
No, we didn't.
Neither one of us asked.
This wouldn't be hard to b*at,
you know?
You just
have to come up with
a more sophisticated
algorithm.
That's not really
our approach.
People need
a curated list,
a guide through
the disorganized
maze of the web --
not a bunch of
impersonal math.
First of all,
math is very personal to me.
Of course.
I just mean that --
And second,
curation is fine
if you guys have 500 websites,
or 5000.
But what are you guys gonna do
when you have 5 million?
How are you gonna guide people
through that?
**
We tell you
which site is best.
The whole company is built
around a human approach.
Uh, p*rn alert.
Yep. Yep. Coming.
Following
company protocol
and stepping away
from the machine.
Coming. Coming.
[Sighs]
You're mad.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I didn't think you wanted
to work on this,
but if you do, then --
I don't.
Okay.
I'm j--
I'm just saying that
math can't tell
a qualitative difference
between good and bad.
A computer can't tell me
what I want.
Not yet.
Okay.
Tanya:
We have functionality issues.
Users aren't getting
something useful as
their first return,
so they're
leaving the site.
Frankly,
we launched too early --
We had a major competitor
in Comet --
Okay, let's try not
to make this all about Comet.
There's
the larger landscape of --
Exactly.
We needed to get out there
to have a presence.
Comet isn't competitive --
What did I just say?
Sorry.
It seems like
we were impatient.
No. No.
No, it's good that we're live.
It is.
The growth will be there.
The Rover algorithm's
gonna get better with usage.
We needed users to track,
the data is gonna help us
refine this algorithm.
We've got to stay
competitive --
I'm telling you,
we have a leg up on Comet --
Excuse me.
Index sites.
Thank you.
If we could just have faith
in our system --
Hey, I do have faith.
That's why I launched
the damn thing.
The site is live,
so the question of timing
is a moot point.
Please don't come in here
and argue at me.
I've got a lot of other things
on my plate.
All right.
How can you
lead this effectively
if you're not
speaking the same language?
Pull it together.
Thank you.
Copy that.
Gordon: Search is a land grab,
right now.
And once
we grab all the land,
then we can think about
incorporating more code.
Joe: Cam's got a point.
The current model
isn't scalable.
The three of us can't keep up
with the expansion.
But we shouldn't add
more code.
We should add
more people.
How many?
I mean, we can't pay everybody
in Necco Wafers.
You know, hiring an engineer
is one thing...
What's our
strongest section?
Probably comedy.
Exactly.
Haley loves comedy,
so it's out most thorough,
well-organized section.
Well, then,
we need experts.
You know, someone --
someone who's obsessed with
like...
Sports.
...sports.
Exactly.
We need more Haleys.
**
**
[Engine sputters]
**
[Exhales sharply]
**
[Exhales sharply, coughs]
[Sizzles]
Ow!
[Whimpers]
Damn it!
[Breathing shallowly]
**
**
Yeah,
the -- the best thing
a-about
a PhD in Library Science
is I get to call myself
a "bibliothecographer."
So you were
a photography archivist
at Chicago Art Institute.
Th-That sounds cool.
Eh, hypothermic,
actually,
I survived
exactly one winter.
I'm a California girl.
But not in the David Lee Roth
kind of way.
Can you, uh --
Can you give us an example
of your methodology?
For instance,
how do you organize
your CDs?
Well, my, um --
my brother
is really into metal,
and I helped him
manage his collection.
I put all of the death metal CDs
on one shelf,
from the simple bands like
Obituary and Cannibal Corpse
on the left,
to melodic and technical death
in the middle,
eh, followed by death/black
and grind/death
and death crossovers,
and then I put
the industrial death,
folk death, and barely-death,
uh, at the end.
And -- And then, the next shelf
was for black metal,
uh, through the whole
Norwegian scene,
like Mayhem and Burzum,
through the un-black
and then the
not-really-black-but-sorta-fits,
like Cradle of Filth.
And -- Oh, do --
Um, do you want me
to keep going?
The-There's Raunchy Power --
No, that's perfect.
Raunchy Power?
Most people
just alphabetize.
[Chuckles]
You sure this was
your brother's collection?
Uh-huh.
Okay,
one final thing --
How would you list a website
about "barks"?
Depends if you mean
dog noise, tree layer,
root beer --
that's Barq's with a "q" --
or boat.
[Laughs]
Wait. "B-Bark"
is a boat?
Mm-hmm.
Uh, technically,
it's a sailing ship
with three or more masts.
Huh.
We don't even know the answer
to our own trick question.
Dr. Katie Herman,
you are officially hired
as Comet's
Chief Ontologist.
Perfect. [Laughs]
Let's introduce you
to the obsessives.
Or, as we like
to call them...
the surfers.
Every day, we receive
hundreds of e-mails from people
asking us to add their websites
to our index.
Plus, we're constantly
on the look-out
for new sites
to catalogue.
When a surfer finds a site,
they categorize it
and add it
to Comet's master list.
Each group is responsible
for growing the index
and writing descriptions
for the top five sites
in each category.
Yeah, but the problem is,
is that we started out
with five main topics.
As new sites pop up,
you know,
categorizing them becomes
more and more...complicated.
Yeah, there's
an ontological term for that.
Yeah -- "sh*t-show."
[Laughs]
[Clears throat]
All right, let's start
with Entertainment.
This is Reggie
from Le Video --
Katie: [Laughs]
Hi.
He, uh, impressed Joe
with his vast knowledge
of French New Wave
as well as
the canon of John Candy.
Reggie: Yeah.
Oh, did you know
that he played Cliff Murdoch,
the Announcer in
"Rookie of the Year" --
uncredited?
Joe: Really?
-Huh.
-Yeah.
That's amazing.
Really cool, Reggie.
Take care, all right?
See,
enthusiasm feeds them.
Yeah.
So this is
Lorraine and Po,
from Tower Records
and City Lights, respectively.
-Hey. Yo.
-Hi.
Hey,
where is your comedy geek?
That section rocks.
Good choice.
Gordon: That is actually
my daughter Haley,
who's part of the team.
When she's not at school.
And regional's over here.
Okay.
You need a restaurant
recommendation?
These are your guys.
Risa: Ahem.
Not just guys.
Oh, Risa.
We met on a bus.
She launched into
a list of restaurant ratings
that would put Zagat's
to shame.
FYI, Zagat's
has a new website,
but the Biz team
scooped us --
Zagat's is big business,
it's international,
not regional.
Joe: That's Macky
from Gold's Gym.
You wouldn't believe it,
but this guy's got an MBA.
Hmm.
Marketing honcho.
I told Gold's
to launch a website --
And when
they finally did --
we scooped it up
from regional.
Whoo!
Guys.
Well, you could
cross-reference it.
Joe: Yes. Do that.
So, you see our quandary.
Yeah.
Business, Sports...
I'm with ya.
Gordon:
This is our head coder. Ted.
Oh.
He manages
the whole site for us.
Ted: [Snores]
Sorry to interrupt,
you have a call from
Michael Houseman at AOL.
Gordon: Oh, perfect.
Feel free to, uh...
I'm just -- Yeah, I got it.
...work your magic.
I got it covered, yeah.
[Indistinct conversations]
**
Joe: Hey, Mike.
Mike, it's Gordon.
If you're calling to bust
my balls about CalNect,
you're a little bit late,
they've already been
busted into oblivion.
Mike: [Chuckles]
I'm sorry to hear that.
Hey, I wanted
to let you know --
AOL is in the market
for a search play.
Oh. We're listening.
Frankly, we're impressed
by what you've got going on
over there at Comet.
Smart, lean.
I don't want to be too forward,
but are you guys entertaining
acquisition offers?
[Indistinct conversations]
* Let me take you
for a ride *
* Let me take you
for a ride *
[Chuckles]
[Laughs]
**
* Let me take you
for a ride *
* Elevator
Vera: God, they've added
editorial descriptions.
Jeez Louise,
that was fast...
How're they doing
their algorithm?
Cecil: It's not an algorithm,
it's people.
Well,
why can't we do that?
Give me Series A,
I'll hire 40 grunts
to write blurbs.
Tanya: We're not ready
for Series A.
Don't jump the g*n.
You sure you need
more of that?
It's the only thing
keeping me alive.
Isn't it a weird coincidence
that we launched
just as Donna's ex-husband
unveiled Comet?
Search was in the ether.
We don't even know
how much they talk
to each other.
She just seems tweaked
about the whole thing,
like she's got a bug
up her ass.
[Door opens]
All right.
Give me the update.
I want specifics.
Vera's been working on
natural language queries,
trying to make
the computer understand
how humans ask questions.
We only have one coder.
Cecil's the best --
but he's overworked.
Elliot --
Dude, it's true.
It's not your fault.
But if we could
get him some help --
He's essentially trying to
refine the search algorithm
and improve the crawler.
He can't do both
simultaneously.
Pick which horrible
problem you want me
to att*ck first.
Yeah, hey, the truth is,
we could use
a few more bodies.
Our man here
can do the heavy lifting,
but he's gonna need
some support.
What we need
is Series A --
Elliot --
[Laughs]
You guys are not getting
a Series A term sheet
anytime soon.
Oh, this is exactly
what I was hoping for!
My friend Tori Lowman
had an Airstream,
we used to play in it.
Yeah?
What would you play?
Airstream.
So you're planning on
a cross-country trip?
No, I just bought
a-a piece of land,
and I need
something over my head
before I build something
more permanent.
Oh!
Yeah?
Where's the land?
Uh, just west of Bonny Doon.
Ooh, that's so pretty.
I know.
Yeah.
Um, well, my husband,
Lenny, and I,
we bought this old sweetheart
for our honeymoon.
And, uh,
she's a real jewel.
Cameron: Mm-hmm.
So, how often
do you get up there?
We've only been once.
Mm-hmm.
But we're hoping
to make it more often.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, go on.
Go on inside.
It's nice and cozy.
And the bed's
pretty comfortable, too.
Oh, my God!
[Exhales sharply,
inhales deeply]
This is perfect!
It's...uh --
It's "cozy."
Yeah.
So...AOL, huh?
Yeah.
You really ready to be
a company man again?
If the money --
money's good enough,
I might take the buy-out.
Do something else.
You might.
Yeah.
Lydia said
to try it out...
[Laughs]
...so let's try it out.
[Giggles]
Oh.
Promise me that,
whatever the offer is,
you'll consider it.
I kinda think
you should take it.
Because our business model
won't scale?
What?
No.
Because...
then you can spend
all that free time with me.
Besides, I know you're all about
the human touch.
Does this "long, long trailer"
mean you're moving out?
[Laughs]
No.
This is for us.
We'll have all this room
to just...
do whatever we want.
**
Mmmmm.
**
I know what I want to do.
[Laughing] Okay, let's stop.
[Laughs]
All right, Lydia.
And it worked
for her and Lenny
for all these years.
**
Are you trying to make
an honest Lenny out of me?
**
I am trying to buy
this, here, jewel...
and sweep you away
to a magical land.
I'm gonna make an offer.
**
[Squeals]
[Door opens, closes]
**
**
**
* Spitting in a wishing well
* Blown to hell
* Crash
* On the last splash
**
* Want you
* Koo koo
* Cannonball
**
* Want you
* Koo koo
* Cannonball
* Hey now
* In the shade
* In the shade
**
**
Mom...? Are we going?
Mom?
[Speaking indistinctly
on TV]
You don't look ready.
I know, baby.
I just --
I don't know
if I'm up for it tonight.
But you love
girls' night out.
I do love it.
I just thought maybe
we could have
girls' night in this time?
Is it work?
I know it's weird
to talk about it.
Uh, no, honey.
We can talk about
whatever you want.
And, yeah,
we've been
having some trouble.
With Rover?
Uh-huh.
Well,
I'm sure it'll be awesome.
I mean,
Cam said she liked it.
When did Cameron say
she liked Rover?
Um, I don't know,
like a couple months ago?
Uh, she said the algorithm
was "clever."
You know what's
really clever
is your
Richard Pryor blurb.
[Chuckles] Thanks.
The truth is, baby,
you are kicking our ass.
[Chuckles]
Well, you're right,
work is just so exhausting.
So, we should just relax.
Yes.
How about
we order take-out?
Oh, yeah,
can we get Chinese?
Yeah.
I love potstickers!
Joanie:
Why are you wearing that?
We're gonna order
Chinese food.
Oh. Hella gross.
MSG makes me bloat,
just order pizza.
Hey, Joanie!
Your sister
was watching cartoons --
Mom, Jesus,
it's not just cartoons --
She doesn't mind.
Right?
Yeah.
Watch whatever you want.
And pizza's fine.
No, well, honey, what about,
you know, potstickers?
I'm actually
not that hungry.
**
[Sighs]
**
Bosworth:
Cameron "Howe-to" --
[Laughs]
**
Cameron: Mm.
Go! Go!
I don't get it.
Well,
it's not one of my best.
**
[Electricity buzzes]
* After the glow
Ta-da!
* The scene, the stage,
the set *
Hey!
* Talk becomes slow
* But there's one thing
I'll never forget *
Cool.
Looks good.
* Hey,
you gotta pay your dues *
* Before you pay the rent
Joe, will you help me
with the food?
Yeah.
* Over the turnstile
Yeah.
* Turn out in the traffic *
Hey,
I'm sorry we're so late.
The traffic was --
Did the number come in?
Uh, three million.
Um...
That's...pretty good.
We passed.
I-It's, uh, encouraging
to get the interest
so early on, you know.
We're gonna try
the VC route.
A couple firms
are poking around.
Hey, listen, are you still
sleeping over tonight,
or do you have
to take Gordon home now?
No, Bos is gonna
drive him back.
Okay.
Okay?
Okay.
* If I could settle down *
I wouldn't miss
my first night
in Lydia and Lenny's
Honeymoon Hotbed.
[Laughs]
**
[Chuckles] Yeah, well...
[Laughs]
They seem to be doing
all right.
Well...
as of tonight,
I'm officially giving them
the benefit of the doubt.
So how you doin'?
Well, Rover's comin' along.
**
Yeah, and that other thing?
**
Yeah, well,
I'm happy to report
I'm digging myself
out of that particular hole.
Probably sounded
a lot worse than it was.
Gordon, I -- I didn't mean
to come at you like that,
and I feel shitty
about the whole thing.
Bos, Bos, come on.
Don't sweat it.
* Out on my skateboard,
the night is just hummin' *
Well,
I heard AOL is gonna --
gonna make you an offer.
* I'll follow
if my Walkman fades *
Are you gonna take it?
Now, how did you hear
about that?
Cam.
Oh.
Yeah, right.
Eh...
turns out they low-balled
the hell out of us at three mil.
They're in a buying frenzy
right now.
Me and Joe want to play
this thing out, so...
Yeah.
**
[Laughter]
So when did you go
all Hells Angels on us?
Oh, come on.
It was a baby Honda!
Hmm.
It was technically
a dirt bike.
Hmm.
More like a Space Bike.
[Laughing]
"A Space Bike."
Shut up!
Anyway,
I don't have one anymore.
I drive a truck now,
so...
Yeah. A Space Truck.
[Laughter]
Okay.
Bosworth:
[Laughing] Space Truck.
Cameron:
You guys want another beer?
Let's have one more.
No,
some of us gotta drive.
Come on.
Gordon,
you don't have to drive.
[Grumbles] I wish...
Come on.
...but I'm b*at.
[Sighs]
Shall we, Bos?
I think we gotta roll.
Come on. [Grunts]
Joe: Well, All right,
this was good to see you, man.
Good to see you, too.
Joe: Yeah.
Cameron:
Yeah, I'll walk you out.
Gordon: Okay.
Joe: All right, Gordon.
Thanks for the lift out.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll see you soon.
-Well, thanks for coming by.
-Sure. Yep. Yep.
Good to see you.
Cameron: [Laughs]
Thanks for the help
with the lights!
Bosworth: Yeah.
[Car door shuts]
[Engine starts]
Joe?
[Insects chirping]
**
[Sighs]
**
[Door closes]
**
[Bottle opens]
**
**
**
Bosworth:
Hey, this girl here,
this Tanya,
much nicer
than that Harding girl.
My name has been
forever sullied
by a man named
"Gillooly."
Hey, let's get a little
adventurous, shall we?
Um...let's try some uni?
Yes.
Woman: Yes.
I wanted
to talk to you about Cecil.
He's still having trouble
with whole pages.
He's had a month.
Maybe he's not the guy.
Well, it's gonna
be a little hard to
get rid of him.
He's a founding member
of the team,
CTO and all.
So the new kid's helping out
with the grunt work,
but Cecil still can't handle
the programming challenge.
Ooh!
Enjoy.
Here.
You're gonna
want to try this, dude.
Yeah.
This is some old
Japanese soul food.
You're gonna like this.
[Chuckles]
I wanted to ask you
about something, too.
Um, I heard that AOL
is interested
in a search play.
It might be a way
outta this whole mess.
Look,
I-I'll be the first to admit
that I don't know
the ins and the outs
of the code.
But when it comes to buying
and selling companies,
you could say
that's my bailiwick.
How much do you think
we could get?
My man says upwards
of three million.
Okay, we have to pay off
the angel investors --
Yeah, we'll do all right.
We'll do all right,
about 400K apiece.
But the team --
They split almost
$1 million in cash.
Now that's pretty good
for a bunch of young upstarts.
But there's three of them.
No, I know.
This idea --
I really just don't think --
It's -- Look, it's --
i-it's still
nothing to sneeze at.
Hell, it's a win for you,
it sets you up great
for your next thing.
Besides, the sad truth is,
anyone done a search with us
leaves underwhelmed.
Huh?
The top search on Rover
is "sex."
The second most
popular search...is "Comet."
[Indistinct conversations]
The most popular word being
searched on Rover is "sex."
The second most popular word
is "Comet."
You should get a call
in the next day.
Expect the offer
to be around $3 million.
Can I assume that
Bos speaks for the both of you?
Bos,
you have a lot of wisdom
when it comes to sales.
But we can't get out now.
We have
a winning play here.
Our algorithm-based system
has a half dozen copycats.
Comet doesn't. Why?
Because web growth
is projected to double
by the end of this year,
triple by the close of '95.
The competition is exactly
the reason to get out now.
We don't have
the right damn programmer --
You said
we don't make "small plays."
We take "big swings."
What I know, in my gut,
is that search is poised
to be
a billion-dollar business.
I don't care who you
run into on the golf course,
you don't discuss my assets
with anyone but me.
If the path to victory
requires a change
in the Rover leadership,
we can discuss that.
But, in the meantime,
have some grit.
I told you to come in here
and present a united front.
Don't come
whining to the boss.
This is 101 bullshit.
Do better. Both of you.
And when you
walk out that door,
I want to see you head
in the same damn direction.
[Indistinct conversations]
Well, thanks for
having my back in there.
You owe $326,000
to First National Bank.
Hey.
I've known
since November.
You've been running
off bank paperwork
in the copy room
like it's your home office.
You missed a sheet.
Hey, wait a minute --
Hey, listen,
I see what you're up to.
You want to unload Rover
to the first buyer
so you can get
a quick windfall.
Oh, but you --
The long-game,
Series A --
that won't
solve your problem.
I haven't breathed a word
about this.
And I'm not going to.
Because I have your back.
I just wish you had ours.
Man: Dudes, got one!
-Whoo!
-Aooga!!
[Scoffs]
Seriously, guys,
Gladwell, Bristol
is the perfect fit.
-Got one!
-Yay, us!
Davis: What is up?
It's our weekly
website indexing contest,
the team with the most sites
by the end of Friday wins.
Man: Go, go, go!
Hey. 2-minute warning.
We're close?
Neck and neck.
Haley's in the mix.
Joe: We should get down there.
Come on.
So we used to cluster
the groups by topic,
but our Chief Ontologist
found that it
boosted productivity
to share info,
so she's put the teams
into seven master groups.
-Got one!
-Aooga!!
Katie: Oh! All right!
All right,
they're inching up.
Come on, Mrs. Doubtfire,
you know what's at stake.
Research the web
like it's 1989!
-I got one!
-Yay us!
Yes!
Step it up, burners.
Make Fonda proud.
Dudes, got one!
All: Aooga!!
Oh, it is on, burners!
Davis:
They seem pretty fired up.
What's the grand prize?
Olympic Gold?
Better.
Katie:
Okay, we don't have much time.
We're almost there.
We almost find out
who the victor is.
-Oh!
-Yay, us!
Katie:
Oh! It is so close.
-Got one!
-Aooga!!
Go! Oh! Okay, we're there!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
I just logged
a Rosie O'Donnell site!
[All cheering]
**
Katie: All right!
Wait. No. No, no, no.
Put me down.
All right. Surfboard!
Yay! Surfboard!
Whoo!
Thank you very much.
Hey, Dad -- Hey, Dad --
come over here!
Are you sure
it's not your turn?
Definitely not.
**
All right.
Katie: All right!
You ready?
[All clapping rhythmically]
Gordon:
All right, calm down!
**
Aah!
[All cheering]
[Laughs]
[Laughter, all cheering]
**
[Thunder rumbles]
* That girl thinks she's
the queen of the neighborhood *
[Gurgling]
* She's got
the hottest trike in town *
* That girl,
she holds her head up so high *
* I think I want to be
her best friend, yeah *
* Rebel girl, rebel girl
Stupid piece of sh*t.
* Rebel girl,
you are the queen of my world *
* Rebel girl, rebel girl
Turn off!
[Clatter]
Ohh!
[Glass rattling, metal creaking]
[Whimpers]
* When she walks,
the revolution's coming *
* In her kiss,
I taste the revolution! *
* Rebel girl, rebel girl
* Rebel girl,
you are the queen of my world *
* Rebel girl, rebel girl
* I know
I want to take you home *
* I wanna
try on your clothes, uh *
**
[Screams]
* Rebel girl, rebel girl
* Rebel girl,
you are the queen of my world *
* Love you like a sister
always *
* Soul sister, rebel girl
* Come and be my best friend
* Really, rebel girl
[Grunts]
* I really like you
God damn!
* I really wanna be
your best friend *
* Be my rebel girl
[Screams]
[Man speaking indistinctly
on TV]
What are you doing?
Skating is coming on.
It's Tonya and Nancy,
and all of America is watching,
so I want to see
what happens.
I was watching "Real World,"
and it's the episode
where David gets kicked off
for pulling the sheets
off of Tami--
Oh, my God. Who cares?
It's not even "real."
Girls, can you please?
I read something online
that said they generate
all the drama.
Kind of like you.
What is that?
It's a golden surfboard.
Yeah,
why do you have that?
Honey,
where did you get that?
Well, it's from Comet.
And I know it's weird
to have a Comet trophy
when you're working so hard
on Rover --
No.
Why does it say
"Potstickers"?
Because I won it!
Risa was doing a write-up
for the Benihana website,
and I told her
that I love potstickers
so she named our
team Potstickers,
and today we won.
And we kicked
Feel the Burn's ass!
And everyone cheered,
and they played this
crazy surfer music,
and I got to throw
the ceremonial pie
in Dad's face!
What?!
I know! It was amazing!
[Laughing]
Okay,
Nancy's about to warm up.
You're my sister,
and I know deep in your heart
you want to watch this
major cultural event
and eat ice cream
and not just smoke
disgusting cigarettes...
Shut up!
...and scowl at everyone.
Um...
Come on. Mom, come on.
Okay.
Man: And nothing is going to
hold her back.
Well, all right.
Okay.
I-I wish I got to throw a pie
in Dad's face.
Yeah, you and me both.
[Giggles]
-Ooh, sassy.
-All right.
What'd I miss?
-Go, Nancy.
How fast do you think
they're going?
Hey, can you see okay?
Yeah.
I've got a perfect view
of the crust of Cool Whip
behind your ear.
What?
Here.
I got it. I got it.
Don't worry about it.
-Who is gonna top that?
-It's good.
Katie:
Now I'm even more nervous.
Oh, hey! I didn't know
you were coming home.
You wanna join us?
Uh...
Man: Now this first jump
is a triple flip.
Oh, she doubles.
...I got to take a shower.
-Hi.
-Bye.
Uh...
[Clears throat]
You know what?
She's a fighter.
If I know her, she's gonna
fight for every triple
from here on out.
Hey, what happened?
I'm sorry.
I...
I'll tell you later.
I didn't mean to barge in.
No, not at all.
I, um...
I wanted to introduce you
to everyone.
Katie:
Hey, we need a tie-breaker.
Are you Team Nancy
or Team Tonya?
Man:
A very difficult combination.
Triple toe loop.
Are those skater people?
And another!
[All shouting]
[Scoffs]
I'm just gonna go to bed.
Man: Into the program
only three minutes.
Now going into
the hardest triple --
a triple lutz.
[All shouting]
You know, the next time
you hear a drip...
Damn it!
...you might want to try
a gentler approach.
[Chuckles]
[Groans]
Ow! Ow.
I know how this looks,
by the way.
Like I'm having some pathetic,
early mid-life crisis.
Got the bike, the truck,
the trailer.
[Laughs]
No. No, on the contrary.
Actually, no,
you took a risk,
you got out of your
"comfort zone."
I'm proud of you.
[Both chuckle]
Right.
My new home
got stuck in the mud.
Yeah, well,
happens to the best of us.
There's no shame
in asking for a little help
now and again.
How do you know
how to do all this anyway?
You come from a long line
of trailer folk?
[Chuckles]
Well, truly,
that ain't far off.
Here.
Why don't you keep this.
You never know
when it's gonna come in handy.
[Exhales deeply]
You want a drink?
Nope. [Grunts]
I'm good.
But you could
run out to my truck
and, on the seat,
there's my tool bag.
Grab me the plumber's putty
out of there.
Little can.
Okay.
Thanks.
[Spits]
[Insect buzzes]
[Birds chirping]
I'm dirtying up
your nail file...
[Laughs]
...or brush thing...
[Door opens, closes]
or whatever you...
I couldn't find it.
Hey, how's your boat?
[Sighs]
[Sighs heavily]
Well, I liquidated
whatever I could,
zeroed out my IRA.
I was ready to auction off
all the furniture.
But I thought --
well,
I thought Diane might notice
if her antique buffet
turned up missing.
Cameron:
It could work out.
Rover might succeed.
No, I looked at it
a couple months ago,
it wasn't there yet.
But I liked the model.
Our programmer's been
banging his head against
the wall for months
trying to refine
that algorithm.
And Donna won't sell it.
[Scoffs]
I recognize the signs,
this thing
is gonna die on the vine.
I mean...
[Sighs]
We're screwed.
We're so screwed,
the light from screwed
gonna take a thousand years
to reach us.
Wait, how screwed are you?
[Scoffs]
**
We don't got the leadership,
we don't got that algorithm,
and we don't got that talent.
In a word, darlin',
we don't got you.
**
What part is he stuck on?
I'm just saying,
Dr. Katie Herman
gives you a lot of
ontological attention.
Yeah. She's friendly.
Oh-ho!
Nice scratch.
She's not friendly
with me.
Yeah, well,
how are things with you
and Dr. Cameron Howe?
Must be pretty snug out there
in that Airstream.
Like two giants
living in a thimble.
[Sighs] So close.
Excellent try.
So, it's -- it's good.
She's, um...
[Chuckles]
She's looking for something,
and I don't think
she's gonna find it
in no man's land.
But, um....
I feel bad,
because she's so into it, but...
...I hate it out there.
And I can't stop thinking about
click beetles.
[Snickers, clears throat]
What's a click beetle?
You call yourself
an outdoorsman.
So, you're in the wild,
and you hear
this clicking sound.
And you think
you're going crazy
or have sudden
onset tinnitus,
but in fact,
there's an ear-dwelling beetle
in your cochlea --
I'm serious --
and you turn up dead.
With a beetle
next to your head.
Because, you know,
it crawls out.
When you die.
Joe,
that was in "Star Trek II."
Never seen it.
Yes, you have.
And click beetles
are real.
Mm-hmm.
Yes!
Nice!
Wasn't aiming for that one,
but it counts.
So what do you think
of Gladwell, Bristol
and their smokin'
VC operation?
Well, you know, I was excited
about the AOL offer.
Until I wasn't.
And then I was excited
about the VC route.
Until I wasn't, so...
What are you...
really excited about?
This.
You and me.
Here.
Okay...
If you make this sh*t,
we're taking
the VC money.
Fine.
Ugh!
Ooh!
[Laughs]
We're not taking the money.
Okay, okay. Rack 'em.
Hey. Here we go.
Okay, okay.
[Cheers and applause]
So...[chuckles] Wow!
So, uh, as you all know,
we got off to
kind of a rocky start --
but last month, suddenly,
you really turned it around.
Huh? Just...Wow!
Uh, credit goes to Cecil
for his breakthrough
with the algorithm.
-Yay!
-Cecil!
We are so proud to offer you
Series A financing.
To Rover.
All: To Rover!
Good job.
Thank you.
Donna, hey.
Hey.
I owe you an apology.
I didn't see it at first,
but this thing is k*ller.
I mean,
your guy nailed it.
Yeah. He really did.
Yeah.
To perseverance --
Ah.
Hi.
[Chuckles]
Congratulations.
Well, that must feel
really good.
Look, I know
it's been a tough one,
and given where we were
a month ago,
it must feel like
a curve ball.
But it will pay off,
you'll see.
[Laughs]
Hey.
You really pulled this off.
And just in the nick.
About a month ago,
Donna was gonna dump
the whole thing to AOL.
-It's been good for all of us.
-Oh, I agree.
Man: Oh, you know
each other, right?
Elias: So you really cracked
the whole thing wide open.
How'd you do it?
Cecil: Uh, Bos actually
had the initial idea,
what we call the, uh,
the "waiting room" concept --
Yeah, people wait around
all the time,
they're used to it.
In -- In real life.
On the web.
Um, I, uh, came up with
a "queuing program."
Um, Now we're the first site
to, uh, index entire pages.
Um, you know, um,
we had a crawler,
but it was a rude one...
Sure, we had to teach that
little sucker some manners.
[Laughter]
Tanya: Excuse me.
I just wanted to thank you.
For not giving up on us.
Uh, you steered the ship.
You should be
proud of yourself.
Hey.
So, you're
the star of the show.
Y-Yeah.
The, uh -- the growth
has been incredible.
Yeah.
Well, I was just
a little bit surprised.
Because, well, you know,
you'd struggled for so long.
So I just --
I have to ask...
Who wrote
the new algorithm?
**
I cannot believe
that Rover is getting
a Series A term sheet.
Now, all of a sudden,
we're up against this
capitalized nightmare.
Some new "crawler" interacting
with the data indexing,
it could k*ll us...
We've got to divide our focus
just to compete.
But our whole approach,
the human touch,
it's -- it's now completely
and totally f--
04x04 - Tonya and Nancy
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Set in the early 1980s, "Halt and Catch Fire" dramatizes the personal computing boom through the eyes of a visionary, an engineer and a prodigy whose innovations directly confront the corporate behemoths of the time. Their personal and professional partnership will be challenged by greed and ego while charting the changing culture in Texas' Silicon Prairie.
Set in the early 1980s, "Halt and Catch Fire" dramatizes the personal computing boom through the eyes of a visionary, an engineer and a prodigy whose innovations directly confront the corporate behemoths of the time. Their personal and professional partnership will be challenged by greed and ego while charting the changing culture in Texas' Silicon Prairie.