05x08 - Left in Charge

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Narrator:
Previously on
Switched at Birth...

John:
Chris Walker--
90 mile-an-hour fastball.

There are three scouts
sitting in the stands

waiting to throw money
at you.

Turn around,
put your hands
on your head now.

My pitching arm!
You're hurting my pitching arm!

You know
I had open-heart surgery.

The donor was a man
who d*ed in a car accident.

You have Angelo's heart?

I thought about you
every single day.

-You have a girlfriend.
-Maybe I shouldn't.

But you do.

Regina:
Luca and I are together.

As a father,
I have very serious concerns
about your relationship.

Where are you staying now?

-My car.
-Ally!

You could stay
with me and Daphne.

You know what?
If I am good enough
to steal from,

then I'm good enough to have
my own share.

Congratulations,
you've got one.

The rental fee
is 300 bucks every week.

-♪ Spent my share
of sleepless nights... ♪
-(alarm sounding)

♪ Worried to death
about... ♪

What is this?

It was mac 'n' cheese.

I didn't know
you could burn macaroni.

Apparently if you
let it cook for two hours.

I wanted to thank you
for letting me crash
after everything--

Okay, I got your text.
Pizza to the rescue.

-Yes.
-Yes.

It cost me
my last $18,

but I have already
paid Noelle for the week.

Man, that feels good
to say.

Oh, you guys,
I finally have a day off.

So what are
the weekend plans?

Definitely not
having a romantic weekend
eating scones

in a paddle boat
at the cherry blossom
festival.

That was weirdly specific.

I may have checked
m1ngo's Instagram a few times.

He's visiting his girlfriend
in DC.

I've got to find a way
to stop thinking about him.

Let's go out.
I'm a terrible cook,
but I'm a great wing woman.

We'll snag you a guy
by midnight.

Nice of you to offer,
but I'm not really looking

to start a new relationship
right now.

Who said anything
about a relationship?

I'm talking about
a "Wham, bam, thank you, sir"

to take your mind off, um--
what's his name?

m1ngo.
And I like the way you think.

Uh, maybe you need
a non-starter

for the weekend,
just to cure you

of your m1ngo-itis.

That's weird.

Bay, did you pay
the electric bill?

We have an electric bill?

And there we go.

Candles?
This is a joke, right?

What? Those are nice tapers,
drip-free.

Come on! I'll pay you back.

All I need is a small loan.

I'm sorry, sweetie.
The bank of Kennish
is closed for business.

So what are we supposed to do?
Live like Pilgrims?

Of course not.

Pilgrims didn't
have running water.

You will spend hundreds
of dollars on Daphne's
school books,

but you will not even lend me
the same amount?

You wanted to work
instead of going to college

and that means you make
certain sacrifices.

Like my ability to see
at night?

What about your car?

Gas costs money.
You could get a bus pass,

sell that old junker.

(laughs)
That's a good one.
That's real funny.

I'm serious, Bay.
If you can't afford

your lifestyle,
something's got to give.

I would sooner sell
the clothes off my back
than sell that thing.

That car is-- is me.
That car is art.

That car
is never going away.

Well, then you're going
to have to figure out a way
to make more money

because you're
not getting it here.

-(knocking)
-John: Hey, sweetie.
Sorry I'm late.

I was imparting life wisdom
upon our offspring.

Sweetie?

The Zimmermans are moving
to Denver.

What? Whose butts
are we going to kick

at the next
Kennish game night?

Sure, joke around.
But it's hard to find
good couple friends.

And I feel like
we're barely social
anymore as it is.

What about the Barkers?

Divorced, remember?

Um, the Clarks?

Um, on sabbatical
in Prague.

Regina and Luca?

Now there's an idea.

We can show them
our Parcheesi magic.

-(knocking)
-You wanted to see me, coach?

Hey, Chris,
how you doin'?

Want to make sure
you're ready for your look
with the Royals.

We only got one sh*t
to show 'em what
you're made of,

so you have got to bring
everything you've got
to the field.

We know that
sitting out the regionals
was devastating for you.

But we've got you this far

and we're not giving up now.

Thanks, Miss K.

I've been pulling
three-a-days all week
getting ready.

Volquez better guard his spot
on the mound,

-'cause I'm coming for it.
-That's what I want to hear,

'cause you know what?
We are taking you
to the majors.

(laughs)

Aw. Oh, I know.

(knocking at door)

Come in!

Hey, best mom ever.

Oh, I know that look.

That's the "I need something"
look.

Uh, well,

I'm having a teensy-weensy

little
electrical-bill, um, problem,

as in, I have one
and I don't have money
to pay it.

Wait, I thought things
were going well at
the tattoo parlor?

They are!
I just-- I have to
pay Noelle a chair fee

and restock my own supplies,
and I'm sort of broke
right now.

So I was wondering
if you could spot me,

like, just a couple...
hundred dollars.

Let me get this straight--
you want me to pay
the electric bill

on the apartment
that I'm renting to you
for free.

Well, when you put it
like that...

When I started out,
nobody gave me anything.

I had to buy
my first salon chair
out of the back of a Buick.

It was tough.

But I wouldn't be
who I am today

if I'd had it
any easier.

So I'm guessing
that's a no?

I've got to get to class.

If you're really desperate,
I could always use some help
at the Cracked Mug.

You know
where I keep the aprons.

Lock up.

A C+?

But I worked so hard.

What did you get?

A-?

You phoned that in
'cause you had Reserve training
last weeken--

You didn't even meet
the minimum page count.

Guess I knew the material
better than I thought.

I gotta run to calc.
See you tonight?

Prepare to see
a board-game master
in action.

Hey, Lauren,
I was wondering
if I could talk to you

about re-reading my paper?

I think you might
have missed a section.

I read it very thoroughly.

Well, then you must know
how comprehensive
my research was.

I think I deserve better
than a C.

I don't change grades.

But if you want
to talk about how you can
do better next time,

I have office hours
next week.

And then the professor
called me out for being
on my phone,

but I didn't realize
he was talking to me

because I was too busy
checking m1ngo's "Insta"
again.

I'm losing my mind.

How did it go
with the 'rents?

It was basically
Tough Love 101.

Okay, I can tutor
between classes,

get some money,
help out?

No, they're right.

The bills
are my responsibility.

I'll figure it out.

You just need to focus
on school

and the fact that Chris Walker
is totally checking you out
right now.

What's up, Bay?

Hey, Daphne, right?

I saw you
around the BSU a bunch
during the protest.

I remember.
Have I thanked you yet

for saving Iris's life?

It's hard work being a hero,
but someone's got to do it.

You know, I think I saw
a kitten stuck up a tree

on the east side of campus,
if you're bored.

I already saved it.
It was on my way to
stopping some bank robbers.

You know, your dad says
you're the athletic sister.

I played basketball
in high school.

You want to hit up
the batting cages
with me later?

We could hang?

-(phone ringing)
-Oh.

Uh, it's my aunt.
Don't go anywhere, okay?

Ahem. Why do I
have the feeling

you all
are talking about me
in front of me?

'Cause we are.

I'd love to hang with you.

All right,
your touch-up is complete.

"Gorge."

Hmm. Well,
if you like it now,

-wait till
you see it by candlelight.
-(phone ringing)

Bombshell Betty's.

Oh!
Oh, I'm-- I'm so sorry.

Um, well, if you two
get back together,

you know where I'll be.

Bye.

That was my 2:00.

Apparently,
Gabby dumped him

so he will no longer
be needing her name
tattooed across his chest.

I might actually
have negative money now.

That blows.

Tell me about it.

I mean, at this rate,
it's going to take me a month

just to get the power
turned on.

Maybe I should throw
a fundraiser--

"Donate to
the Starving Artist" fund.

You know, that's not
such a terrible idea.

Actually, I'm not
totally comfortable
taking money from UNICEF.

No, I mean having a party.

I used to live in this,
like, commune.

And whenever we were short
on cash,

we would buy a keg,
invite everyone we knew

and charge 10 bucks a head.

Can't even afford beer.

The first hundred
covers the beer.
The rest goes to the house.

We could make 500, easy.

Except there's no lights.

But we do have candles.

I think there's a couple packs
of glow sticks somewhere.

That sounds atmospheric.

Exactly!

-So we're having a party?
-We're having a party!

We need quantity,
not quality.

Although we obviously
don't want to invite
any creepers.

-Ooh, 2:00!
-Ally, wait.

What are you guys
doing tonight?

We're having
a "Turn on the Lights"
party upstairs.

-Hey, Luca.
-Hi, Bay.

It's really just, like,
a couple friends

hanging out without
any loud music or alcohol.

-Please don't tell Regina.
-Relax, I get it.

I won't say anything
about your party.

Really?
Cool, thank you.

Uh, in that case,
you should totally come.

Can't.
I got Kennish game night.

Ha!
You have fun with that one.

I don't.
I'm Tucker.

What time
should I come by?

Uh, the party's at 9:00.

Ally:
And bring friends
to the party.

Bay?

I thought that was you.

Simone! Hi!

What are you doing here?

I have a couple of hours
before my next meeting

so I swung by to borrow
Regina's Internet.

Do you work here?

Oh, no.
I'm just helping out
for the day.

Actually,
I'm a tattoo artist.

That is so perfect for you.

I sold out
and joined the corporate world.

My dad had an in
at a pharmaceutical company

and they made me a sales rep.

It's crazy.
I actually love it.

Well, you look great.

Thanks.
I feel so basic sometimes,

but my boss
is all about the labels.

He even makes me drive
this embarrassing Beemer.
It's totally flashy.

But you know how it is--
appearance is everything,
right?

Mmm.
I know exactly what you mean.

I have this spread coming up
in Live Ink magazine

and I'm not sure
if I'm gonna do it

'cause I just gotta be
really protective
about my brand.

And I just don't want
to get all mainstream.

Totally.

Well, we should
really get together
and catch up more.

Did I hear something
about a party?

Yes, upstairs.

We're having
a "Turn on the Lights"
party--

It's a party/ meets
art installation.

It's a statement
about our waste
of this earth's resources.

You always were
the creative one.

And I love art shows.
I'm kind of an investor now.

So I guess
I'll see you tonight.

Can't wait.

♪ I feel the time
a'tickin' ♪

♪ Tick tock,
tickin'... ♪

I guess
I shouldn't be surprised
you know how to hit.

You grew up with a pro baller.

I didn't meet the Kennishes
till I was 15.

I lived with my mom
in East Riverside.

Get out!
I'm from Blue Creek.

We were neighbors,
we didn't even know it.

(laughs)

I gotta be honest, though.

It's a little hard
to picture you there.

Why?
'Cause I'm white?

Or 'cause I'm deaf?

Both.

When I was 10,
I wore my hair in cornrows

for an entire summer
to try to fit in with
the other girls.

Not a good look for me.

(laughing)

I never knew anybody
who was deaf before Travis.

It was hard enough
growing up over there
as a hearing person.

You must be pretty tough.

Actually, the community
really supported me
and my mom.

I loved living
in East Riverside.

I can't wait
to get out of the 'hood.

As soon as I land my spot
with the Royals, I'm gone.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

Yeah, this time next year,

I'll be driving a sweet ride
up to my mansion in Hallbrook,

after signing a couple
hundred autographs, of course.

Is it hard
being so insecure?

I'm not cocky,
I'm confident.

I deserve that spot.

Yeah, I get it.

Hey, you want to go
get some food?

Keep hanging?

Oh my God,
you're bleeding.

Simone?

Toby?

Hey.

Hi.

Oh my God,
tell me that's not a baby.

Uh, yeah.

I sort of took the fast track
to the whole "marriage
and kids" thing.

That's great.

You married that cute
blond girl I met?

What was her name?
Nikki?

Uh, no.
Well, technically yes,
for a minute.

Um, but my--
my new wife--

her name's Lily

and she works at UMKC.

And this is?

This is Carlton.

Aw! Can I meet him?
I love babies.

Yeah, yeah.

Come here, buddy.

Oh. Uh, wow.
I didn't realize...

Yeah.
So, uh...

I didn't mean, uh--
I just--

I am so sorry.

(cooing)

Sorry about what?

Um, you know,
we gotta get going.

We've-- we've got
a therapy session today.

And-- come on, buddy.

It was good to see you.

Okay,
you're all fixed up now

so give us a call
if it starts again.

I really k*lled our date,
huh?

Date? I thought you said
it was just a hang?

You didn't know?
It got upgraded
when I bled on you.

And it could even become
a dinner date

if you play your cards right.

Uh, well, my sister
just texted.

Apparently, we're having
a party tonight.

Oh. Cool. Cool.

Do you want to come?

Yeah, I--
I'd love to.

Well, you can't
walk around campus like that.

Let's see--

what do you think?

"Student Health Center"
or "Kangaroo Crawl"?

"Crawl," definitely.

Whoa.
What happened?

Oh, I just got hit
by a baseball in practice.

It looks worse than it is.

That doesn't look
like a ball bruise.

That many colors
usually means a bunch
of different bruises.

Well, it hurt like I got hit
by a bunch of different balls.

That Travis has got an arm
on him.

Hey, I gotta run.

-I'll see you tonight.
-Yeah.

(door opens)

-Hey.
-Hey. Do you know where
the camping lanterns are?

They have got to be here
somewhere.

Who are you and what
have you done with my sister?

I ran
into Simone this morning

and she is totally k*lling it.

She's driving a Beemer
and I can't even afford
to pay the electric bill.

So the answer is "camping"?

We're throwing
a party tonight.

Simone basically
invited herself.

You should have seen her,
Toby.

She was wearing a blazer.

I actually did see her.

Carlton and I stopped by
for a muffin.

Whoa. Are you okay?
That must have been weird
for you after everything.

No, it was no big deal.
It was fine.

You should DJ tonight!

Lily is taking Carlton
to go visit college friends,
right?

And J and K are having
the Kennish game night.

Tell me you are not dying
to escape that.

Even if I wanted
to DJ,

turn tables
require electricity.

Well, I'll just run
an extension cord downstairs
to the Cracked Mug.

Come on! Please!

It's gonna be so lame
without music.

And you're totally
a big deal.

How cool will we look
to Simone

with DJ TK
at the turn tables?

-Fine. Okay.
-Yay!

Dr. Barminski,
do you have a sec?

What's up?

Um, I saw something
kind of weird earlier.

A friend of mine
had a bunch of bruises
in the exact same spot,

almost like a blossom.

Sounds like an injection site.
Is your friend diabetic?

I don't think so.

Well, when we see
abdominal bruise patterns
like that,

we assume insulin.
Forearms could indicate
narcotics.

-Where was the site?
-On his deltoid, up here.

Is your friend an athlete?

How'd you know that?

It's a common place
to inject steroids.

Tell your friend
to be careful.

He could seriously
hurt himself.

(music playing)

♪ I know I am
what I do ♪

♪ That's just
not convenient at all ♪

♪ For you,
I don't know what you want ♪

♪ This sure as hell
ain't it... ♪

Hey, is she here yet?

I haven't seen her.

Are you sure
you don't just want me

to tell Simone
to go to hell?

And make it seem
like I care

about her perfect clothes
and car and job?

No, absolutely not.

Um, hi there.

You are not on the list.

Oh, come on.
Are you really still mad
about the whole T-shirt thing?

Yeah. Now scram.

I'll give you 20.

Fine.

But if you even take
one look at my portfolio,

you are going to wake up
with a forehead tattoo,
all right?

Cool. Bye.

Whoa!

Cheers to be able
to shave my legs
in the light tomorrow!

Salute!

Oh!

Mmm.
Someone cleaned up nice.

Damn straight.

Oh, Simone.

I am so glad
that you could make it.

You remember my friend
Ally?

And this is my boyfriend
Travis.

-Oh, so you're
not with Emmett?
-No!

Um, Travis and I
have actually been together

for almost a year.

Gotcha.
Nice to meet you, Travis.

Oh, and you know Daphne.

Hey, how's it going?

-Good. You?
-Good.

Oh, you have got to see
our view.

Come on!

-Hey, baller.
-Hey.

Man, I'm ready
for a beer.

Your dad
had me running suicides
for, like, an hour.

But don't worry,
still ready to bust out
my Nae Nae.

I promise,
bleeding on a girl

isn't normally part
of my first-date routine.

There's a routine, huh?

Usually starts with me
buying you a beer.

Well, technically,
it's my party,

so I'm buying you
a beer.

If you insist.

British, Titanic, blond.

Nicole Kidman!

(buzzer sound)

Kate Winslet!

Nicole Kidman
is Australian, honey.

What are you talking about?

She's always
talking like an American
in the movies.

Oh! Regina and Luca, eight.
John and Kathryn, two.

Plus our sweeping victory
in Taboo.

Okay, I know defeat
when I see it.

-I will be right back.
-Luca: I got it.

It's the least I can do
for schoolin' you
in your own home.

Thank you.

I still don't know
how you knew Miley Cyrus

from "tongue, pants, ball."

-You two share a brain.
-Apparently not,

because Luca just aced
our economic strategies paper

-and I got a C.
-What are you talking about?

You said
you were on the fast track
to the Dean's List.

-What happened?
-I don't know.

I talked to our TA Lauren,

but she was weird about it.

-Huh. I wonder
what that's all about.
-(phone dinging)

Just talk to her again.
You know, she'll probably
see the light.

Kathryn:
How about Parcheesi?

-Oh yeah, baby!
-I love parcheesi.

We got cheese,
we got Parcheesi.
It's gonna be great.

Actually,
I'm pretty tired.

Um, mind if we call it
a night?

John:
Really? I know
what's going on over there.

You want to get out of here
while you're still ahead.

It may have crossed my mind.

Uh-huh. Well, you know what?
You come back for a rematch
someday.

My pride will
probably heal in about, what?
One or two months.

Maybe.

You staying over?

Ah, I have
an early training thing
for the Reserves.

Call you after?

Sure.

See ya.

-Kathryn: Bye.
-Bye.

Regina, are you okay?

No, I think Luca
is cheating on me.

Cargo shorts over there?
He has a pathological fear
of water.

Hasn't showered
in six years.

That's nothing.
The guy with the pink shirt
has multiple personalities.

One owns a ferret.

Wait.

I must be way off-base,

'cause I thought this
was going okay?

It is.

That's the problem.

I actually like you.

Why is that a problem?

Because I'm worried about you.

Nose bleeds plus that bruise...

It's not a big deal.

I get nose bleeds
all the time.

Are you sure that's all?

What are you getting at?

Are you using steroids?

What?

No!

Look, I know
how much pressure you're under

with my dad pushing you
for this try-out.

But steroids
are really dangerous.

You have no idea
what you're talking about.

Okay? I told you--
a ball hit me.

That wasn't a ball bruise.

You-- you got it all wrong.
Okay? I'm not--

If you stop now,
there shouldn't be
any permanent damage.

You are a great player.

You're still going
to have a career.

Is that why
you invited me over tonight?

So you could
have an intervention?

What? No, of course not.

Whatever. Look,
you're the one who's trippin'

'cause I don't do that stuff.

And I have better things
to do

than to sit around
and get accused

by some girl
I've been on one date with.

(music playing)

Aidan:
That's not
what a Dutch Oven is.

-Don't be Ret*rded.
-Me? You're the one
who belongs in special ed.

Whatever, short bus...

Okay, so Operation Simone
is going great

except for the part
where one of Luca's friends

just chugged all the tequila
and passed out in my closet.

Hey, man,
can you touch your elbow
and bite your ear?

Hey, what the hell
is your problem?

Uh, Toby?

You think making fun
of people with disabilities
is funny?

Actually, yeah, I do.

-Okay, you need to leave.
-Get out of my face, man.

Hey.

-Watch it.
-Oh, I get it.

Is Helen Keller over here
why you're so mad?

-What is your problem--
-Listen here--

Hey.

Aidan and those guys are gone.
Are you okay?

I don't know what happened
back there.

That kid said "Ret*rded,"
and I just lost it.

That's understandable.

The way those guys were acting
was heinous.

The thing is, is like,
it never bothered me before.

I mean, I even probably
said it myself before Carlton.

But, man,
to hear that kid tonight,

some paternal instinct
or something

just took over.

I get it.

But there are a bunch
of idiots in the world.

Toby, you can't freak out
every time someone
makes a bad joke.

It-- it's not just that.

Um, this morning

when I introduced Carlton
to Simone,

her reaction was, um...

It was the first time
that I had to introduce him

to someone from my life

who didn't already know.

What do you wish Simone
had said this morning?

I-- I don't even know.

You're new at this.

But you will figure it out.

All right, I-- I gotta go
check on Travis.

Also?

I think most people are trying
to say the right thing.

They just don't know how.

(music playing)

You okay?

Simone's looking for you.

Well, you're up, Dr. D.

You are the raddest,
Kennish.

Warm soda gets real old
when you're four years' sober.

No problem.
Perks of knowing the owner.

-Hey, check it out.
-Um, hey, you guys
can't be down here.

Door was open.
Come on.

-Uh...
-Let him stay.

It's like
a million degrees up there,
and he is really cute.

It's just, um,
Regina would k*ll me
if anything happened.

I get it.
In high school,
you always seemed so tough,

but we both know
you were secretly the good one.

And thank God.
One of us had to be.

-I'll take care of it.
-You know what, Simone?
It's cool.

-You sure?
-Positive.

Let's have fun.

Kathryn:
Is that your TA?

They used to date.

And now he's on his way
to her place at 10:00
on a Friday.

You don't know that.
These photos are over
a year old.

Then why didn't Luca tell me
that he dated our TA?

And how--
how do you explain the text?

Doesn't look good.

I am so mad,

I don't know whether
I should scream or cry.

-Kathryn:
Is that a tramp stamp?
-Mmm.

-How do I zoom in?
-(beeps)

Oh my God. I think
I just "liked" the photo.

How-- how do I "unlike" it?

"This photo will be saved
to your favorites."
No, no, no!

-Here, just--
-(beeps)

-Oops.
-Oops?

I think I just "liked"
another photo.

(grunts)

That's not gonna fix it.
No.

(sighs)
What am I doing?

I am stalking some girl
on the Internet

like I'm a teenager.

You know what I used to do

when I was stalking
a boyfriend's ex?

-Kathryn:
Which apartment is it?
-I have no idea.

So much easier
with a house.

It's okay.
We'll just wait him out.

I mean, he has to come out
at some point, right?

Unless the whole "Reserves"
thing was a lie too?

You know,
I'm sort of surprised.

You and Luca
seem so good together.

Well, sure, right now.
But just wait.

In a couple years,
he's going to want
to have kids

and then he'll run
straight back to Lauren's
young, hot ovaries.

Regina,
where is this coming from?

-Do you remember
when Luca's dad came by?
-Sure.

He thinks I'm single-handedly
terminating their family line.

Wow.
That's a big thing
to drop on someone.

What did Luca say
about it?

Nothing.
I didn't tell him.

Can I give you some advice
from a person

who's been married longer
than that TA's been alive?

Secrets fester.

You may be bad at Luca
for not being honest with you,

but you have to be honest
with him.

You're right.

This is crazy.
Let's get out of here.

(Regina gasps)

Oh.

Oh.

Man.

(rock music playing)

Hey, good news.

I met a girl upstairs
who's looking for a roommate.

-You're leaving us?
-Just your couch.

I liked having you around.

Hey, you two--
you're up.

-Come on, let's kick her ass.
-Oh, you're on!

Ready?
One, two, three.

-Go!
-Whoo! Ah.

-All right.
-This is harder
than I thought.

Nailed it!

Chug.

I am sober.
You're drinking for two.

-Bay?
-Luca!

What's going on?
I got your text.

Uh, I texted you
because your buddy Tucker--

he passed out
on my favorite pair of boots,

but he is fine now

and he taught me
how to play Civil w*r, see?

Regina's gonna freak out.

We need to get these people
back upstairs right now.

Oh, It'll be fine.
I'll clean up later.
She'll never know.

What up, Barahona?
Hey, Bay, toss me that ball.

Okay. Whoo!

Tucker, wait!

That's not good.

What were you thinking?

It was just
a small party to pay off
the electricity bill

and no one was supposed
to come down here.

But I opened it up
to make a coffee--

And what?

Some of these mugs
are antiques.

I can never replace them.

I didn't mean
for this to happen.

You are under age.

If the cops had shown up,
they could have shut me down,
Bay.

I'm really sorry.

Well, good.

I expect you
to cover the damages.

Um...

I'm sorry
to interrupt.

I just wanted to let you know
that everyone's gone
from upstairs.

Thanks.

I'll walk you out.

Well, uh,
congratulations.

You win.

Uh, I'm a mess.

My party
wasn't an art installation,

it was a fundraiser
because I'm so broke,
I can't pay my bills.

-I wasn't judging you.
-Well, maybe you should.

You've got this amazing job,
this amazing wardrobe,

this amazing car.
And seeing you this morning

sent me straight back
to high school.

And all I could think about
was b*ating you,

when the truth is,
I'm a disaster.

Look, my life
may not be as fabulous
as I made it seem.

Yeah, I make six figures,
but I'm miserable.

I don't have time
to make friends or date.

And I'm basically paid
to take doctors out to lunch

and let them hit on me.

Wow.

And I was at the Cracked Mug
this morning to see Regina,

my sponsor,
because I've been so unhappy

that I almost fell
off the wagon last week.

I never
would have guessed.

You seem so together.

I guess we just bring out
the worst in each other.

Do you know how jealous
I am

that you've actually
turned your passion
into a job?

Why are we so competitive?

I don't know.

Can we call a truce?

Yes.

Just don't sleep
with my boyfriend, okay?

Honey, what's wrong?

I found out something
at the health center today

and I don't want
to tell you.

And I could
probably lose my position
for saying something,

but I'm really worried
that you're going to end up
in big trouble.

Daphne, what is it?

I think someone
on the baseball team

is using steroids.

It's gonna take two weeks

to replace
that ceramic dripper.

You're mad at Bay
for being immature

when you pulled a drive-by
at my ex-girlfriend's place?

Yeah.
Lauren texted me.

I know all about
your covert ops.

I'm sorry.
I saw her text
inviting you over.

Then you left.
And I guess I went
a little crazy.

I went to bail out Bay.

I know that now.

But you have to admit,
it looked bad.

Why didn't you tell me
you guys dated?

Because we agreed
not to talk about our exes,
remember?

You said there was no point
in living in the past.

Oh, yeah.

And I only texted Lauren
in the first place

because I was worried
she'd docked your grade
because of me.

And did she?

She said you confused
Fool Theory with Odd Theory.

Oh, damn it.

I don't get it.

What have I ever done
to make you think I'd cheat.

-Nothing.
-Well, what is it then?

Your dad told me
I was standing in the way

of your having children.

And you listened to him?

I told you,
I don't want kids.

Sure, right now.

But you might someday.

Being in Afghanistan taught me
there might not be a "someday."

I have to trust in what I want
right now.

And that's you.

If that changes,
we'll deal with it.

Okay?

Okay.

Hi.

Hey.
Thanks for coming.

I was gonna text you too.

I hate the way
that we left things.

I'm so sorry if I--

I mean, I just
didn't know what to say.

Me neither.

Hey, come here.

-(Carlton cooing)
-Oh!

Oh, yes.

Yeah, come over here.

Just sit up
and meet Simone.

So this is my son
Carlton.

He's-- he's a year old

and he has Down syndrome.

He also has an amazing laugh,

a real thing for blueberries,

and is k*ller on percussion.

(laughs)
He's adorable.

Thank you.

Hi.

(laughs)
Hi.

So, um, I hear
you're a pharmaceutical rep?

-Yeah.
-Hmm.

How's that?

Well, it sucks.

I'm-- I'm in my car
12 hours a day.

If I have to
wear another blazer,

I don't know
what I'm going to do...

Daphne, wait. Wait.

What the hell?
Did you narc on me?

Yeah, I did.

Are you trying
to ruin my life?

Of course not.
I didn't say your name,

but my parents need to know
they have a problem.

Maybe your coach
can convince you

that your health
is more important
than a better fastball.

You think I'm using
because I want to throw better?

I'm using because a cop
tried to arrest me

and he strained
my rotator cuff.

I stopped taking that stuff
a few days ago.

It was just for a little bit,
you know,

because my Royals' try-out
is next week

and I didn't have enough time
to let my shoulder heal
naturally.

If you stopped using,
then you should be fine.

Right!
My career is done.

Don't you think you're being
a little dramatic?

My dad's going to yell
and lecture, and that's it.

A lecture? You think
that's what's coming?

Your mom ordered
a mandatory drug test
for the whole team.

My life is over.

I don't think I can do this.

Ah, it's time
to let go, sweetie.

Move on.

She's been with me
through so much--

running away to Mexico
with Zarra,

that terrible
octopus phase,

my time on the chain g*ng.

Now she'll be there
for somebody else.

I'm the funky artist
with the cool car.

If I let her go,
what does that make me?

The funky artist
who can pay her bills.

I know it sounds dumb
and it's just a car,

but I feel like

I'm saying goodbye
to being a kid
or something.

Well, you are a little bit.

♪ This might be
the best day of your life. ♪