02x07 - Sneak att*ck

[bunniefuu]

(DOORBELL JINGLES)

- What's this?
- Ah!

New freezer, brand new from company.

It's free.

- What's wrong with the old freezer?
- Nothing.

But new one is better, and free.

Why are you putting ice cream in box?

- New freezer not cold yet.
- Then plug in.

If all freezers
are plugged in, blow fuse.

Then unplug the old freezer.

Yeah, after I put ice cream
in the freezer upstairs.

Where will you put food
from the freezer upstairs?

Icebox outside.

Why not put the ice cream
in the icebox outside?

Because people take ice,
they steal ice cream.

- So, now they steal my food?
- They not steal your food.

How do you know?
I make very good food.

- Man, now I feel like ice cream.
- (DOORBELL JINGLES)

- So, just a bag of ice?
- Yeah.

And this frozen soup.

Oh. Sorry, soup is...

- $ . , thank you.
- Sure.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

You're welcome.

Mrs. Lee.

APPA: There you are.

UMMA: Here I am, just talking.

Oh. Mrs. Lee. How was Korea?

Yeah, it's just so beautiful
at this time of the year.

But flight is so long.

You get the emergency row exit?

- No.
- I always ask, extra leg room.

I say I can open door, but who knows?

In emergency,
we're all just a wild animal.

Oh, Pastor Nina!

I hope everyone has their tickets
to the Seoul Singers concert.

Oh, and full disclosure,

until I saw how they spelled "Seoul,"
I did think they were black.

And Mr. Kim, he volunteered
to help sell tickets.

- I do?
- PASTOR NINA: Oh, that's wonderful.

(CHUCKLES)

When I volunteer for this?

When you marry me.

- Aw.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Okay. Well, let's set you up
with a block of tickets, then.

Maybe or so?

Oh, and watch out for scalpers,

they are going to be all over this.

I got great deal in Busan. So
much cheaper than last time.

How much you get?

Twice as much for same price.

(SPEAKS KOREAN)

No problem at customs?

Canadian customs?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

And then I tell Janet,
"Because seven, eight, nine."

(LAUGHING)

What are you talking?

Oh, you had to be there.

Okay. Bye-bye, Mrs. Lee.

So many sauce bottles, but
no food to put the sauce on.

That's where you come in.

Yes! It's ajumma day!

I wondered why it smells
so lemony-fresh in here.

Hi, Kimchee.

Ow!

Save for later.

Ah, I put your laundry on your bed.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, I forgot
to make it this morning.

I changed sheet already. It's okay.

This galbi-jjim?

- Ow!
- I say later!

But I got a whiff.

Yeah, I don't think that's all
gonna fit in there, Umma.

You freeze, for later.

Yeah. We don't really
go in there anymore.

KIMCHEE: Some beers exploded.

It's hard to tell the ice
from the shards of glass.

You want a freezer?
We have old one at the store.

Oh, my God, yes!

I don't know.

You need a freezer.

Better I give to you
than to throw in garbage.

You'll have to take off door so
children don't get locked up inside.

So much work for so small risk.

Come on, save the children.

- Okay, fine.
- KIMCHEE: Yes!

You can pick up tomorrow.

Ow! What? This is my yogurt
that I bought.

It's expired.

Oh, I know what I'm doing.

You're already in?

I know, but they say
they're at capacity.

I'm gonna miss the whole thing!

I'll figure something out.

Hey! You can't go that way!

Didn't you see the sign?
You need to go back.

(MUMBLING) I, um...

Do you understand?
Do you speak English?

No.

So sorry. English no good?

Okay.

You need to go back in line.

Oh. This the door for
the filmmaker party?

Are you a filmmaker?

Yeah.

What's your film?

Documentary.

About Korea.

- North Korea?
- Yeah.

Life there's very, very hard.

My country, too.

So full of corruption.

We march, and the police come with
their water cannons and we get hosed.

So sore the next day from getting
hosed all night, but we get up.

And we get hosed again.

Yeah.

Like that.

It's so important what you do.

Go.

Tell your story.

- Tell our story.
- Thank you.

And what's your movie called?

Thank you.

I love the way that feels.

Yeah, best face cream in all of Korea.

My friend says it's amazing.

- What is amazing?
- (DOORBELL JINGLES)

Nothing. Cat food.

What are you doing? I thought
you went for a haircut.

- Yeah, I went. This is short.
- (DOORBELL JINGLES)

- Oh.
- WOMAN: Um...

Sorry, I don't read Korean.
How often do I use it?

Well, how hungry is your cat?

Well, I don't have a cat.

Probably, just for a neighbour
with a cat.

Dab under your eye, twice a day.

- Okay, thanks.
- Thanks.

Why is she putting
cat food around eye?

It's not cat food, it's face cream.
I get confused.

We not sell face cream like that.

Yeah, I just sell.

And you put cash in your pocket?

Yeah, funny.

It's a face cream.

Only made in Korea. Mrs. Lee
bring over, I sell a little bit.

- How much you pay?
- $ .

How much cat food lady pay?

$ .

Why we not sell all the time?

You know, with the shipping and the
tax and duty, profits go poof!

Better for just a friend,
more like a favour.

Better do more favours
for more friends.

Friend of friend. Stranger!

- Baby!
- No! No!

Small batch.

It's not broke, don't fix.

I do same way for five years,
always works.

- You do this for five years?
- Maybe six.

- No more than seven.
- What?

- Hey, Umma.
- Mmm.

What's going on with that freezer?

UMMA: Oh, donation.

Well, if you're just giving it
away, Gerald and I could use it.

He saves a lot of bananas
for banana bread.

Oh, no, Janet. Other people
need more than you.

(DOORBELL JINGLES)

- Hi.
- Hi.

I know you from somewhere.

- Yeah.
- North Korea.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

What's your name?

Janat.

"Jenna"?

- Janat.
- "Janat"?

I like.

So, how was the party?

Very good. Thank you.

Yeah, did you eat all the tiny food?

It's so tiny, I love it.

Yes.

Did you make a lot of contacts?
I can't wait to see your film.

No. Film never be seen.

No, don't give up.

You have to fight.

For me, it was riding in the streets

under a hail of tear gas
and rubber b*ll*ts.

For you, it might be an arts grant
or a mentor. But keep fighting.

Fighting.

No, no, no. It's free for...

Thank you.

Please, take a Dubble Bubble, too.

(CHUCKLES)

Thank you, Janat.

You know, we have
to help each other out.

If you want, I can get you
a free festival pass.

Seriously?

Thank you.

Well, um, adios.

And... I'll see you soon.

Okay. See you.

Oh.

Hi.

You pretend to talk like me
to get a free movie ticket?

Why are you lying?

I'm not lying.

I'm just saying things that

reinforce her assumptions about
who I told her I may have been.

And I didn't think
it would go this far.

Already it's too far.

When she come back, you fix.

Okay, okay.

And that is a terrible accent.

Nobody sounds like that.

KIMCHEE: Check it out.

We bought half a cow.

- Let's just hope it's the good half.
- Cool.

- Can I have my Costco card back?
- When you finish unloading.

Where's the freezer?

- I didn't get it.
- Dude, we had a deal.

I get the meat, you get the freezer.
Then nature takes its course.

I don't remember
having that conversation.

I don't remember being born,
but it happened.

Look, I don't know, okay?

I thought I might bump into my Appa,

and I don't want to look like I'm
begging for a freezer, you know?

Look, I'm gonna level with you.

You and your Appa
need to move past this.

All right?

And if it takes me helping you
get that freezer to do that,

then as a service to you,
I'm gonna get that freezer.

I can't help but notice this always
keeps coming back to the freezer.

Are you kidding me?
This is about my best friend,

his Appa, and some meat.

A lot of meat,

that can bridge the divide
between them.

- I don't know.
- Terence!

We're gonna need some ice.

- Do you have any money?
- Yeah.

MAN: Ah.

- Very smooth.
- Yeah.

- And to think I just came for chips.
- Tell your friends.

- Oh, Walid!
- Your husband is a great salesman.

- He buy choir ticket?
- Even better.

UMMA: (GASPS)
Appa, what are you doing?

I make display.
We sell five in the last hour.

No! I tell you, just for friends.

Friend only pays $ ,
but customer pays $ .

Who care about friends?

No, have to keep it more exclusive.

Have to make email blast.
Get Janet to tell Facebook.

Put a floppy balloon-waving
man outside the store.

No, must keep secret.

Why keep a secret?

Because...

Face cream is very illegal in Korea.

And one day in Canada.

- Face cream is illegal?
- No!

Little bit...

Illegal.

(UMMA GRUNTS)

This is why I do sneak att*ck.

I don't tell you, because you are
terrible at the sneak att*ck.

With you, always, "Go big or go home."

Why are you so quiet?

What did you do?

Tony Yang is an old friend.

He set up a choir trip
from Korea for church.

Give to me contact info.

Now Korea choir is bringing
lots of face cream.

- Cancel!
- It's too late.

They're already flying.

You make a choir mule
for illegal face cream?

Yeah.

I think I go too big to go home.

Okay.

Choir should be landing now.

- They meet us here soon.
- Appa, look.

What?

Police need to eat
just like normal people.

What if it's a sting,
they know we're coming?

It's not a sting, it's a restaurant.

- Okay.
- We're going in.

(COPS TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

We're just two people here
to have late breakfast.

No problem.

Howdy, Officer!

Salisbury steak. How is it?

It's okay.

I love a good Salisbury steak,
but you just say, "okay"?

Okay. It's good to know, good to know.

Clubhouse sandwich with bacon.

Poutine, also excellent choice.

Sometimes I like with bacon.
Sometimes.

Salad. Look like kale.

So much kale now.

One day, I never hear of kale,
next day... (EXCLAIMS)

Kale in everything.

Appa, come, sit.

I just want to say...

I'm Mr. Kim.

Thank you for stopping by, Mr. Kim.

- What happened?
- I don't know.

Are they still looking?

Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, Appa here?

No.

KIMCHEE: Oh, well, another time.

What happened to building a bridge?

It was a great first step.
We're gonna build on that.

You're taking a step? That's amazing.

I figured I had to come
for the freezer anyway.

- What are you doing?
- Taking the freezer.

- Umma said it was going to charity.
- No, it's going to us.

Right, Umma's favourite charity.

- What does that mean?
- Nothing.

Just take it.
I have lots of work to do.

I'm not a charity case.

Well, Umma does your laundry,
cooking and cleaning.

And she flips our mattresses every couple
of months. Big deal. Get your end.

She just comes and does it.
I don't ask her.

- You don't stop her.
- She loves doing it.

Yeah, 'cause I'm sure she's thrilled

to be writing her grown son's
name in his underwear.

It's so that we don't get confused.

- You know, I didn't even want the freezer.
- What?

Right! Just one more thing
you're doing for Umma.

You know what? Keep it.

- What? No!
- No, I don't want it. I don't need it.

- We've been over this.
- We're leaving, Kimch.

- Happy?
- Mmm, very.

They should be here minutes ago.

Maybe you should ask
the police what's the delay.

And then ask them what they're
having for breakfast tomorrow.

Then give them
social insurance number.

Oh, Mr. Kim!

We have stuff!

(ALL SPEAKING KOREAN)

Janat. Always working so hard.

Oh.

- Hi.
- As promised, your festival pass.

And tickets to two gala screenings.

Wow.

And I hope you like a swag bag.

(EXCLAIMS)

I don't know.

Don't worry. Most celebrities
just give them away.

Yeah, I deserve.

Thank you so much.

I'm happy to help.

Also, I would love
to use your bathroom.

Claire Danes screamed at me when
I tried to use the one at work.

Yeah. Please, in the back.

Okay.

You know what? Umma and
Appa pay for your school.

They pay for you to work here.

You lived here rent-free.

All good points, take the freezer.

- So, I'm taking the freezer.
- Yeah, okay.

All right!

I had a bunch of other
things I wanted to say, too.

I'll get the door.

Janat.

Those look so good on you.

Are you being robbed?

- What?
- JANET: These are my friends.

They help me in so many tough
situations that it is hard to explain.

And never ask any question.

They just go and take freezer.

It's so nice to meet you.

Janat is so brave.

Yeah, so brave.

Yeah, the pleasure is ours.

We are just simple travellers
looking for appliances.

Okay, I can't do this.

I'm not from North Korea.
I'm from here.

And I've never been hungry or had
to fight a corrupt government.

I have no idea
what it's like to get hosed.

As a protester.

I don't understand.

- She's not from North...
- No, I understand that.

Are you even a filmmaker?

I'm a photography student.

And I'm interested in film.

I thought we were friends, Janat.

It's actually pronounced "Janet."

These sponsored gifts
are for artists, not liars.

(DOOR SLAMS)

So, you were saying something about
how I took advantage of other people?

Yeah, I already said
the freezer is yours.

Finally. You're gonna love it
at our place, little buddy.

Tony, we have to go.

- You have the money?
- Of course.

(SPEAKING KOREAN)

Appa, where's your bag?

Mr. Kim, you travel light.

Yeah, I have a good reason for that.

Very good reason, best reason.

Yeah, only need bathing suit and
sunblock for tropical vacation.

Yeah.

If you don't mind me asking,
what's the occasion?

It's my birthday.

- What? Birthday?
- Mmm.

(SPEAKING KOREAN)

(ALL SINGING IN KOREAN)

Well, happy birthday.
I hope you have a great day.

Thank you. Thank you, Officer. Here.

For your face, make you look younger.

I'm only .

Oh.

Here, take two.

Yeah. We're just so badass,
like Cagney and Lacey.

- They're both women.
- I know.

- They're both police officers.
- I know.

Still badass.

Yeah, we make so much money.

This time, one choir.
Next time, maybe two.

A whole symphony orchestra.

You know how much cream
we can fit in a tuba case?

- (POLICE SIREN WAILING)
- Come on! Run!

Yeah, maybe we stick
to store for now, eh?

And tomorrow's garbage day.

Don't forget to put out
recycling, Mr. Badass.

"Badass." That's so funny. (GIGGLES)

We should put it behind the couch.

You know, to put stuff on,
like white people do.

- Little candles and bowls of rocks.
- We don't have candles.

Because we never had a giant
appliance to put them on.

It's got to be close to the fridge.
They're related.

I'm related to my uncle,
and he lives in Korea.

When I come in with groceries, I don't
want to wander all over the place.

I want to go dry zone,
cold zone, fro-zone.

Okay, check it out.

I'm sitting here, watching the game
and... Uh-oh, I want a pizza pop.

Reach in, grab one,
don't miss a thing.

You're gonna eat it frozen?

We're gonna need a microwave out here.

Let's just get all the meat in
the freezer before it thaws.

Done.

We're gonna need more ice.