03x06 - The Kim Cup

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Kim's Convenience". Aired October 2016 - current.*
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"Kim's Convenience" is the funny, heartfelt story of The Kims, a Korean-Canadian family, running a convenience store in Toronto's Regent Park.
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03x06 - The Kim Cup

Post by bunniefuu »

There's a matinee and : .

: , I can close early.

- Done.
- [PHONE CHIMES]

Oh. I somehow booked VIP tickets.

How you get a VIP ticket?

- Fifty dollars!
- Fifty dollar?

- That's a dinner and a movie.
- And cab fare.

- [SCOFFS]
- And a babysitter.

Unless, uh...

Maybe you think there's a red carpet?

I suppose it's not entirely unlikely
the director might be there.

You think maybe, uh,
star of movie will be there?

This is a VIP screening in Toronto.
Anything is possible.

Mmm. Maybe paparazzi take our picture.

Or we get invited to an
after-party at a swanky hotel.

Meet a big-time producer
and, ah, tell him our story.

A couple of hard-scrabble newcomers.

"The Immigrants are k*lling it,"
brags The Globe and Mail.

We can get a pavement
star and have people...

Oh, wait. I can cancel.

Full refund.

- I watch movie at home for free.
- No hassle.

No pants.

- The way a film should be watched.
- Mmm.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Ai. [MUTTERS]

- [DOOR BELL CHIMES]
- [SIGHING]

Yobo, why is broken
ping-pong table outside?

You tell me take out from basement.

I'm not going to lie, Mrs. Kim.

It was a beast to move.

But it's worth it to see that look
of appreciation on your face.

Why you don't take to dump?

Garbage day is a day
after day after tomorrow.

Ah, we can't leave outside for three
day. What will customer think?

That we throwing out
a ping-pong table?

Or that you finally
threw this guy out.

What? Everyone has a limit.

So basement is clean now?

Not yet. Clean basement is a big job,

even for big, strong Appa.

- Ah, maybe I call Jung to help?
- Mmm!

I can do myself. Just, uh, need time.

Okay, but I already call Jung.

- Boom.
- Why you sneak att*ck?

I don't have to sneak att*ck
if you clean att*ck.

Uh, uh... My chip...

[SHANNON] Wow.

Either someone did something
very good, or very bad.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Actually, I think it was you.

"To the cutest little manager I know."

Aw. Alejandro sent me something
sweet, 'cause he's on the road.

Isn't he the best?

- Okay.
- I guess.

I know what you're thinking,
don't worry.

I'm going to share this
with my two favourite guys.

Cool. Thanks. Ooh!

- Ow!
- I'm so sorry.

I don't know why I did that.
Total reflex.

Here, take something.
Please. [CHUCKLES]

Ooh, is that truffle popcorn?

- Ow!
- Seriously, I am so sorry.

Here. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Hi, Janet. This is your Umma.

Bring back Tupperware.

All container in the kitchen
has a mix-match lid, uh?

So, I hope you okay.

This is you Umma. 'Kay, bye-bye.

[CHUCKLES] Sorry.
My daughter is move out.

- So hard to get hold of.
- Ugh.

My daughter's in residence.

Good luck getting her on the phone.

When she is here, all the time
she is looking at her phone.

Only time she's not looking
at her phone is when I call.

I just want to talk, but it's all
this texting and Snapchatting.

So, I said, "Marla, get your
phone out of your face,

and get your butt home for
margaritas and some Pitch Perfect."

- You do this with you daughter?
- Yeah.

- That you give birth to?
- Every Thursday, just the two of us.

We do our nails, order Thai.
Do a general catch-up.

That sound so nice. [SIGHS]

But my daughter? She is too busy.

Okay. Hey, Umma. Janet says, "Hi."

Oh, sorry. I can't talk to her.
Too busy with a customer.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Jung, you telling her?

[CHUCKLES]

- Hey!
- [APPA] Jung!

I tell Umma you don't have to come.

Yeah. She was worried my comics
got wrecked when the pipe burst,

which I now see didn't happen.

Sneak att*ck, Umma-style.

- Here. I got that.
- Oh, it's okay. I have...

- Where do you want it? Here?
- Yeah. That's fine.

'Kay. Should we get started?

Have to organize everything first.

Over here is thing we throw out.

Here is, uh, thing we keep
and you throw out after we die.

'Kay. Well, uh, [SIGHS]
I'll get started over there.

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS LOUDER]

[STRAINING]

- You okay?
- Yeah. All good. All good.

We start the next pile here. Thing
we maybe keep, or throw away.

Okay, but take it easy.

Wasn't Hal-Abeoji
moving boxes when he...

He was .

- Yeah, but...
- I'm . Big difference.

For sure.

Oh, my God.

- You still have this?
- Ah.

- Can't throw out the Kim Cup.
- Yeah.

I wanted my name
on this so bad as a kid.

- I could never b*at you.
- Yeah.

That's why they call me Unst-Appa-ble.

You made us call you that.

But, yeah, you were the best.

- Those going up?
- Yeah.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SIGHS]

- [BACK CRICKS]
- Oh.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

I understand,
but your records must be wrong.

I didn't receive... Oh, really?

Well, may I please
speak to your manager?

Well, when will her break be over?

That's a generous break policy.
Are you hiring?

- Oh, I'm on hold.
- [SHANNON] What's up, T-bird?

I'm getting the run-around
from this delivery service.

Sh-yeah. 'Cause you're
being a big old softie.

Here is what you do.

You lay on the
compliments, then just as

they trust you, you hit
'em in the curlies.

Got it. Yes, I'm still here, and
I have something to say to you.

Hi! Who am I speaking with?

Well, Sharmilla, Such a
beautiful name, by the way.

Either you're calling
my friend a liar,

or maybe someone else
is lying, Sharmilla.

- Pow-pow!
- No, you listen to me.

We expect a full investigation into

the missing... What are we missing?

My gran sent me a gift basket
for becoming back manager.

Oh, please don't cry, Sharmilla.

- Hi, Janet!
- Umma.

What are you doing here?

I was thinking you and me
have a girls' night in.

Just you, me, in.

Uh, yeah, sure.
We could do that. Sometime.

Thing is, it's Friday night.
You know, TGIF?

Yeah. No school tomorrow.

We can talk all night.

First topic, how to make
your face less round.

- That could be fun, but...
- Special surprise!

- We paint our nail.
- Really?

'Cause remember that time
I put on clear polish?

You made me take it off.

You said the only people who paint
their nails are prostitutes.

That don't sound like me.

Eh, look, it all might be
great, but I have plans.

Oh. Okay.

Oh, Gerald? Are you ready?

Mrs. Kim! What a surprise.

I didn't hear you guys
talking, like, at all.

Hi, Gerald.

Because I was in my room
for the conversation.

Look, I'm sorry. We're meeting
people, so I gotta go.

- We'll do this another time, okay?
- Yeah. Other time.

If it's easier, you can
obviously just leave that here.

Yeah, I can. But no.

- All right!
- [MR. CHIN] Do you have it?

- All right!
- I don't think I have it.

- I'm losing it.
- Okay, okay!

Put down! Put down!

[PANTING]

I thought your wife wanted us
to throw this out, not in.

Yeah, but I miss table. It's,
uh, good fun for whole family.

Huh. Who know,
maybe Jung want to play?

Or Janet. Or Mrs. Kim.

[PANTING] Or Jung.

- You know, just a friendly game.
- I get it.

When you get a chance
to show your dominance

over a young rival, you take it.

[SCOFFS] What you talking?

Look, there comes a time when
some young, virile bus boy,

let's call him Huang I. Wu,

comes around, flexing his muscle,

grabbing the attention
of a beautiful prep cook

who might otherwise be interested
in an older restauranteur.

Hypothetically, of course.

It's just a game.
Doesn't matter who win.

Sure, sure, but take my advice.

Lay waste to your son in table
tennis while you still can.

Why you not just fire your bus boy?

Oh, I've thought about it,
but he'd never survive.

He's a looker, but not much upstairs.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Thanks again for stopping
those guys from b*ating me up.

Not everyone in a ponytail
likes to be called "M'lady."

It's supposed to be ironic.

- Oh...
- [LAUGHTER]

[UMMA] So then I say, "No!"

[CHELSEA] I can't
believe you said that!

- [UMMA] Well, what else I'm going to say?
- [BOTH LAUGHING]

- Umma?
- Oh! Janet? You home already?

It's : .

Uh-oh.

- Time for me to turn into pumpkin.
- [BOTH LAUGHING]

Oh, thank you, Chelsea.
That was so much fun.

Don't thank me, polish pal.

- Oh!
- Oh... We're polish pals.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

- Okay, see you, uh?
- Night, Umma.

Oh, nail polish.
Don't want to mess up.

- Right.
- Bye, Yong-mi.

Bye-bye.

So, you were just hanging with my mom?

- Oh, my God. She's lolz.
- Yeah?

And a straight talker. I am too
skinny for pinstripes, you know?

I do know.

My parents are always,
"Chelsea, you're so great.

Everything you do is wonderful.

We raised the limit
on your credit card."

Yeah. So lame, right?

[JANET] So, what else
did you guys talk about?

Gerald!

Hey, Chelse! What a surprise.

I didn't hear you guys talking.

Like, at all.

[YAWNS] Well, I'm gonna head to bed,

but feel free to stay up,
do your girl-talk thing.

And miss cuddle time? [CHUCKLES]

- Night, Janet.
- Okay. Night.

Don't smudge my nails,
bum-bum. [CHUCKLES]

Bum-bum?

I need a strong muscle guy
like you have to finish a job.

- It's Jung.
- [UMMA] Jung?

Hi, Jung!

So when you get message, call me back.

Okay. See you.

- What's happen?
- Nothing.

Just, uh, finish cleaning basement.

Then maybe after have a hang-out time.

- You and, uh, Jung?
- Yeah.

Uh, what kind of hang-out time?

I don't know. See what happen.

Okay, but, uh,
don't hang out too much.

We is parent, not friend.
Have to remember.

Just, uh, try to be good Appa.

But, uh, when you see Jung, don't
talk so much about his muscle.

Otherwise, he gonna
post all over Internet.

Okay. [CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

Hey. How's Planet Janet?

Chelsea!

Oh, are you here to see my mom?
[CHUCKLES]

- Ha-ha.
- Ha-ha.

- Ha-ha-ha.
- Ha-ha-ha-ha! [CHUCKLES]

But yes.

Oh.

You guys are so tight all of a sudden.

- Cool.
- Is it cool?

Absolutely.

- [BANGS SHELF]
- Umma, your friend's here to see you.

- [UMMA] Oh?
- Ah!

Chelsea! Hi!

I got your text.

Here's the album
we listened to the other night

plus my own playlist, "Sunday Hangs."

Oh, thank you. So kind.
Such good music.

Yeah? What album is it, Umma?

- Clairvoyants.
- Live.

- Clairvoyants have a live album?
- Yeah, it just drop.

- Did I say right?
- You got it.

So sweet, Chelsea. Thank you.

And maybe you can teach me how to make

that scrumptious Korean thing we had?

- Sundubu-jjigae?
- Mmm-hmm.

[UMMA] Come over
Friday night, I show you.

Umma, Friday night is
maybe not the best...

I'd love to.

See you then. [GIGGLES]

Janet, can you work Friday?

- [DOOR BELL CHIMES]
- Night?

- [EXHALES]
- You wanted to see me?

[SIGHS] Come in and shut
the door behind you.

Sounds serious.

We've made a huge mistake.

The gift basket wasn't for me.

Not sure how that's a "we" mistake.
You ate all the snacks.

You're missing the point! The basket

was for Terence from his grandmother.

Alejandro did, however, send me a
YouTube video of a dancing bird.

Damn! That bird's got moves.

[LAUGHING] I know, right?
I could watch it all day.

Except I can't. I have to figure
out how to fix this Terence thing.

You could start by not eating
the rest of his gift basket.

- I'm stress eating from the guilt.
- That's guilt eating.

Look, just buy him a new gift basket.

$ ? Whoa, mama!

You can get a whole cabin made
out of cheese logs for that.

Uh, don't tempt me. But there's
got to be a cheaper one.

- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Hey, Shannon.

[SHANNON] Terence! We're in a meeting.

Okay, no problem.

[PLASTIC CRINKLING]


Do you guys hear that?

Is that what you came in here
for, Terence? To play mind games?

- No, I just thought...
- Stop thinking, start working!

That's our new motto. It's actually
what this meeting was about.

- Doesn't make any sense.
- You're still thinking!

Come on, Terence.

I'm so sorry.

- [SIGHS]
- [DOOR CLOSES]

Poor guy. I feel so bad for him.

Oh. Is there rosemary
in that shortbread?

Oh, my God! They're so good.

Hey! Is Chelsea here?

I don't know.

I never know. It's those
little soundless feet.

Even in heels.

Maybe she's with my mom.

[SIGHS] I know. That's been great.

I think it's kinda weird.

Maybe, but it's freed up my schedule.

Like, Friday just opened up,

so I'm going to do a God Of w*r
marathon with Smeats and Kippen.

What are you doing Friday?

Um... I was gonna fire up
the console with the guys.

No. My parents are taking us to I.
Jupe on King Street. [LAUGHING]

[GERALD] Is that a... a restaurant?

I thought you were going to my mom's.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to have to cancel. Getting
into I. Jupe is impossible.

So it's a play? Or is it the circus?

And you can't wear that, by the way.

Okay, but to what?

It's just, I think my mom was
looking forward to seeing you.

Oh, she won't mind.
We're buds! [CHUCKLES]

Okay, but it is French, right?

[SIGHS] Okay!

Want me to take some of this outside?

Yeah, maybe.

Or, we can start by, uh, clean
up old bedsheet over there.

- You mean this?
- Yeah, like that.

Good idea, Jung.

Waah? Old ping-pong table?

Where you coming from?

[CHUCKLES] I think we throw you out.

- Was this here before?
- Haven't seen in such a long time, huh?

Looks like a brand-new bracket here.

Oh, I don't think so.
So old and dusty, uh?

[BLOWS AIR AND COUGHS]

Huh. Yeah. Want to take a break?

- What? From not working?
- Yeah. What you think?

One game. Warm up muscle, huh?

- Yeah. Sure.
- [CHUCKLES]

Uh, wow. That really
brings back memories.

Yeah.

Hey, remember when Janet was
little and she wanted to play,

so you put her on the table and
we'd play trying not to hit her.

Not to hit?

Oh, I wanted to hit her, I
just wasn't good enough.

- Ha.
- You serve.

Oh... You serve. Home court advantage.

Oh. Zero serving zero, huh?

- Ooh.
- Still a little rusty.

It's okay. Just take time and,
uh, try you best, hmm?

One serving zero.

Whoo! One-one.

Okay, everybody warm.

Now we play for real.

Ooh! Ah!

Your point. Good one.

I tell you, I am unst-Appa-ble.

Good news. Look what
was just delivered,

straight from your gran to the
cutest little manager at Handy.

- Ta-da!
- Wow.

Look at all this.

Crackers and... And cheese and...

Wait! Are those ketchup packages?

Ooh! Portion-controlled and portable.
Your gran thinks of everything.

Huh.

Swiss chocolate?

Gruyere?

Mmm-mmm. Yum-dilly-ish, am I right?
[CHUCKLES]

I'm just a little surprised.
Gran hates the Swiss.

- Well, she loves you.
- You don't understand!

She went to Switzerland once
and was treated so horribly.

They were rude to her,
they ignored her,

even though she spoke perfect German.

That's terrible.

She was in the Italian region,
but she's never forgiven them

and she refuses to support
the Swiss economy.

Well, maybe your
grandmother has forgiven

the Swiss economy.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

My mom thinks it's time
to put gran in a home.

I said she was wrong, but you can't
argue with evidence like this.

- Gran is a goner.
- I wouldn't read too much into it.

I'm sure she's fine.

And are these cough drops Ricola?

Oh, my God! I have to call my sister.

[SIGHS]

I hate you.

[BOTH PANTING]

- Yes! Whoo!
- Yeah!

Ooh, ooh!

- Ooh, ooh!
- What are you doing?

You don't remember victory dance?
Yeah. I show you.

- Ooh, ooh!
- But you didn't win.

Ooh... [LAUGHING] What you talking?

The ball hit the edge of the table.

- No!
- I heard a tick.

- I hear not a tick.
- You can't hear not a tick.

Shh. Listen. Not a tick.

This is ridiculous. You always
have to win, don't you?

I don't have to. Just do.

The ball hit the table.

Jung, more important than
winning is being a good loser.

Exactly, Appa.

I only think that's true, because I

don't have real experience losing.

You know what? Forget it.
Nothing's changed.

What? Yeah...
Best two out of three game.

For Kim Cup.

It's not worth it.

- Ah, come back. Jung!
- What?

Don't tell your Umma we fight.

Fine. Don't tell Janet.

- I not tell anyone.
- Me neither.

- Might tell Kimchee.
- Ah! Don't tell Kimchee.

Well, then don't tell Mr. Chin.

I already say I don't tell anyone.

Hey. What's going on?

We just talking.

Yeah. It's hard to hear
each other down here.

Ping-pong? No way.

I could never b*at you guys.

But that ends today.

Oh! Seriously? Come on!
For the Kim Cup.

Am I the only one who remembers that?

[GRUNTS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

- Hey, Umma.
- Janet.

It's Friday. What you doing?

Just thought we could hang out.

Brought some tunes, some treats.

Maybe you can teach me
how to make your Sundubu-jjigae?

So nice. But I'm busy tonight.

Umma, I'm sorry if I hurt
your feelings the other day.

It was so nice that you came over.

Yeah, I know.

And I know you don't have plans.

Gerald and Chelsea are going to...

- Something.
- I know.

Chelsea cancel,
and I make another plan.

Really?

Umma, it's okay. I know
you're too proud to admit...

[MRS. MEHTA] Hello? Yong-mi?

I brought tequila,
but I forgot the lemons.

In here.

- Hi, Janet.
- [JANET] Hi.

Janet, you're very welcome to
stay if you have no place to go.

On Friday night.

I guess.

That's so sweet.

I never stayed in with my mother
on a Friday night.

Yes. One day you'll
have lots of friends

and look back at this and laugh.

[ALL LAUGHING]

What about art school.
Do all students wear no make-up?

I'm wearing make-up.

Of course! Now I see. Very nice.

Oh, wow. I've just got a text
from a big party.

So I'm going to go.

Great seeing you all.

Uh, leave snack, Janet.

Fine. I'll call you tomorrow.

Yeah. But, uh, not too early.

- TGIF.
- [ALL LAUGHING]

And a $ . your change.

Okay. See you. [CHUCKLES]

[CASH REGISTER DINGS]

Ah, you, why you have to
bang everything so loud?

Oh, not as loud as you
and all you friend last night.

I deserve to have fun.

Yeah, but too crazy, huh?

You not young like you is before.

Nobody is young like they is before.

That's how time work.

I just say, can't do all thing

same way like before
when you is young, huh?

- [WINCES]
- Oh.

Like play ping-pong?

Not just ping-pong.

I move lots of box, too.

And I win.

And you is old.

You old!

Not as old as... [GAGS]

- Excuse...
- Huh?

[LAUGHS]

- Here. Don't forget the Pepto, huh?
- [RETCHES]

- [CHUCKLES]
- [BACK CRICKS]
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