06x09 - The Better Half

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Mad Men". Aired: July 2007 to May 2015.*
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A drama about one of New York's most prestigious ad agencies at the beginning of the 1960s, focusing on one of the firm's most talented ad executives, Don.
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06x09 - The Better Half

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Mad Men...

You're going to
have a love scene.

And between you, me and
soon a national audience,

it's more of a love affair.

Oh, my goodness.

I don't want to live on
the Upper East Side.

Why?

I saw us raising our kids in a place
with more different kinds of people.

We created a human life.

When you told me
about the merger,

I hoped he would
rub off on you.

Obviously, you're on his side.

Why did you do it all
off their sides?

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

It tastes better
because it's more expensive.

It's the premium brand
and it's priced accordingly.

Price is irrelevant
because the question is

does it taste
better than butter?

Butter is actually fresh.
Margarine is indestructible.

He's right because he's only
comparing different margarines

and margarine has a 70%
market share over butter.

But it's hard to say
any brand is luxury

when although Fleischmann's
is the most expensive

and Blue Bonnet,
owned by the same company,

is the least expensive,
the difference is only pennies.

45 cents a pound
is the highest.

29 is the lowest.
That's 50% more expensive.

Fleischmann's is Chivas Regal.

Still half the price of butter.

- It's Budweiser.
- But what's the market share?

I just said it's much
higher than butter.

Seeing as I have
the ear of the client,

it's my recommendation
we go on taste alone.

Peggy!

Don, I agree with you.

You're in the market
buying margarine.

Okay.

What goes through your mind?

Mouthwatering, savory,
delicious taste?

Or mouthwatering, savory,
delicious taste and price?

I'd buy the cheaper one.

There's one for 45 cents
a pound and one for 29.

Which one do you think
is gonna taste better?

It's a terrible gamble to tell a client
that their product is expensive.

Shh.
Let her answer.

I don't know.

They both sound good.

Really?

Does everyone agree with yours?

It's not his and mine.
Everyone has an opinion.

We haven't heard it,
but I'm sure they do.

I like Don's.

What did Harry say?

I feel strongly both ways.

They're both so good.

I'd probably ask someone to run
them by the client on the sly.

The meeting's tomorrow.

You know what, Don?
Let's go with yours.

Nah, I'm not even
gonna be there.

You should go with whatever
you're most comfortable with.

Could you get me another
copy of that research?

I want to make it big
on a board.

Did you see that?
He didn't even turn around.

- Yep.
- Oh, it speaks.

Come on, I wasn't gonna
get in the middle of that.

You suddenly dumber than Peggy?

So you're content in silence?

I'm content with reality.

You know what this place looks
like to the outside world?

A mess. We don't
even have a name.

- We're the '27 Yankees.
- Says who?

Pete, you want to get
your balls tickled?

Go see a headhunter.

Are you leaving?

Look, when things settle down,
I'm gonna be a partner.

For the time being, it's nice to know
that the water's warm out there.

Did you lose something?

Yes.

I was looking for...

how do you say, a pen
to write something down.

Oh, well, the desk
is littered with them.

Would you like a drink?

Certainly, Colette.

Although this is
my husband's office.

I should be offering you one.

It is no trouble at all.

We're a lot alike.

We're both interested
in things that belong to me.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I don't know what
your relationship is

with my husband, but it's over.

Cut. Let's clean
up in there and back up.

Megan, sweetheart, what are
you doing on the floor?

The script said
to spill the drink.

It doesn't say to clean it up.

I just thought...

Your sister Corinne
is the maid.

You're Colette right now.
She's blonde, classy.

We need you to make
these women different, honey.

Let's take it
from the top, ladies.

Don't worry about it.

I think Phyllis left for the day, but
I never saw the boards for tomorrow.

- Stan has them.
- Ah.

- What are you working on?
- Royal Hawaiian.

- How's that going?
- I'm sure you will tell me.

I will.

I'll look at it very carefully

and then I'll formulate
an educated opinion.

You should try it sometime.
It's what professionals do.

Don.

You've been debating
that for weeks.

- You both have a point.
- I'm not paying you to be a diplomat.

Well, you're both
more experienced than me.

I don't know
that my opinion matters.

Your opinion matters.

Now what do you think
is the best way to go?

- It's somewhere in the middle.
- No, Peggy.

There's a right
and there's a wrong.

How could that be?

What you're really saying is
there's you and there's him.

And I don't know how I became in charge
of turning this into a collaboration.

Isn't that your job?

You're both demanding
and you're both pigheaded.

You're the same person
sometimes.

The difference is that
he's interested in the idea

and you're interested
in your idea.

He's interested in his idea.
Don't let him fool you.

Well, he never makes me
feel this way.

He doesn't know you.

Henry said you were leaving.

He just had to make
one phone call,

which turned out to be two.

Full house, I see.

He should be off in a minute.

Well, he's a lucky man.
But not as lucky as me,

because I wanted to be
alone with you all night.

He'll be out in a minute.

I don't think you heard.

I want to be alone
with you all night.

Mr. Dell, I have
three children.

I don't care.

No, look at me.

Can you believe
I've had three children?

How was your evening, Stew?

Raised a lot of money.

Darling, shall we?

- What's going on?
- There was an incident.

Oh, my God!

- They hurt you.
- I'm fine, honey.

He was getting off the subway
and two guys stabbed him.

- What?
- Hey, I don't want to worry her, man.

I'm sorry, but I'm trying
to get it straight.

And, frankly, she should know
so she can keep up her defense.

- Jesus, what happened?
- Are we done here?

For a reporter,
this is missing detail.

And if you'd waited
at the hospital,

as you were instructed,
we'd be done.

But for some reason you didn't.

I filled out the form.

Come on, were they colored
or Puerto Rican?

Or white?

I'm from Brooklyn and I
always keep my eyes down.

Could you describe the shoes?

Look, both of us have done
our civic duty.

So, respectfully,
I think you should go.

I'd get one of these.

Good evening, ma'am.

Can you believe
those questions?

- Fascist pig!
- Shut up, Abe!

You don't know
what they look like?

You have a photographic memory.

Peg, I'm not gonna
give him an excuse

to shake down every kid that
walks through this neighborhood.

What about the one
that stabbed you?

This is a f*cking police state

and we're gonna
have to fight, okay?

They did it in Prague.
They did it in Paris.

And, believe it or not, we're
gonna have to do it here, too.

That doesn't mean
protecting criminals.

Listen, baby, it's my right to
tell whomever whatever I want.

But you can keep talking because
everything you say is going in my story.

What are you talking about?

It's just fascinating,
the attitudes I'm encountering.

But why would you side
with the cops?

I don't know.

I read about this.

You obviously had
a traumatic experience

not unlike combat.

So I'm going to let you do
whatever you're doing.

Don't patronize me.

Those kids have no other
recourse in this system.

- They're animals.
- They were brought here by sl*ve ships.

Well, I was
brought here by you.

I don't care if I take a loss,
I'm gonna sell this sh*thole.

You're worried about me
and I love you for it.

Now, I don't think
I can type with this thing.

Get my Olympia. Help me
get some of this down.

I'm going to bed.

This is nice.

It's Thursday.
Told you I was making dinner.

Sit down.

How was your day?

How was yours?

Hmm.

It was...

Ugh, it was terrible.

I don't even know
if I want to talk about it.

What's for dinner?

I think they hate me.

They just gave you
a second part.

I feel like an idiot
because they keep telling me

they can't tell
the twins apart.

I think I'm playing them
very differently.

It's not like
it's never been done before.

Exactly.

I told Mel I didn't want
to be a cliché.

Then he starts rapping about how
they're two halves of the same person

and they want the same thing, but they're
trying to get it in different ways.

Listen, would you mind if we
just go in and turn on the set?

I'm really not hungry.

Did you have a bad day?

I'm just tired.

Go lay down.
I'll clean up.

I already packed your bag
for Bobby's camp.

Tomorrow's another day.

John, could you give us
some privacy?

Was the evening a success?

You tell me.

Well, I--

I found it fascinating as usual

watching you work your magic.

And while you were watching me,

everyone was watching you,
weren't they?

Stewart did everything
but grab your ass.

I didn't notice.

What did he say to you?

I don't want to get
anyone in trouble.

Word for word.

He said he wanted
to be alone with me.

What else?

All night.

Daddy, I don't want him
running on the steps.

Why not?
Kids are supposed to run.

Ellery, come down.

We don't have any steps
in the apartment.

He's not good at them.

So what do you think, girls?

See any resemblance?

He's very handsome.

So, Ellery, take a good look.

Who's your type?

Hello, Margaret.

I'll tell you mine later.

It's nice to see you.

Oh, he's precious.
How old is he?

He's four. He's having a
special day with Pop-pop.

We're going to the zoo
and maybe the movies.

So it's just a regular workday.

Don't fill him full of junk.

Can't promise that.

Wave good-bye, swabby.

We're shoving off.

How many times
have you met with Harry?

Too many. Don't waste
my time like Crane.

I'm a headhunter,
not a fan club.

Fine, let's talk about me.

Let's talk about Burt Peterson.

I got him a vice
presidency at McCann.

If he keeps his head down,
he's set for life.

But the merger was fresh.
I don't know your situation.

You weren't very straight
on the phone.

You think they're gonna
cut you loose?

How come you didn't
get yourself a job?

That's a Yankee wrinkle.

- You interested in my business?
- No.

Well, if we sat down
a couple of months ago,

this would have been
a different conversation.

Nothing's changed.
I'll show you my Rolodex.

It's not that. It's your lack of a
role in the management structure.

Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce
Cutler Gleason and Chaough?

Who the hell's in charge?

Two of those men
are as dead as doornails.

There's still a lot of chiefs
and only a couple of Indians.

And a lot of questions.

What the hell
happened with Vicks?

So...

paint me a new portrait.

I'm glad you said that.

How about seeing things
from the client side?

There's a head of marketing job in
Wichita that you'd be perfect for.

Anything back here on Earth?

You know,

I've always liked you,
Campbell,

so forgive me for saying this,

but if you do a little better,
I can do a lot better.

I don't know
what else I can do.

I've been you

and I went on interviews

and I realized I was filling
the room with desperation.

Five cents worth
of free advice.

You've got to spend
less time in this place

and more at home.

This is a reluctant necessity.

My mother's run amok.

Pete, one day
I looked in the mirror

and I realized I had regrets
because I didn't understand

the wellspring
of my confidence.

Gin?

My family.

My family is a constant
distraction.

You better manage that

or you're not gonna
manage anything.

Hey, buddy.

Can you help me?

I'm occupied
at the moment, sir.

Hello there.

Oh.
Are you lost, too?

Not yet.

I'm trying to get some gas.

Lady asked for directions.

Fill 'er up with regular.

Where's Henry?

He's coming tomorrow.

I'm surprised you
were able to get away.

Where are you staying?

Somewhere over here.

Just go down here. Stay
on here a mile and a half

till you get to the big mill.
Make a left.

Go back through town
till the railroad tracks.

Hang a right over the bridge

and then you come
to the little mill.

Do any of the roads have names?

Follow me.

Fleischmann's just called.

See? You were worried
for nothing.

Well, they just requested some more
recent figures on market share.

I'll handle it.

Peggy, may I speak with you?
Go ahead.

What the hell were you
doing back there?

You didn't want me to talk.

I didn't talk. That was the plan.
Did you want me to talk?

- No, you touched my hand.
- What?

When you handed me the board.

What?
No, I didn't.

Yes, you did. And you can't
do that in a presentation.

I doubt anyone saw that because
I didn't even know I did it.

It jarred me. And when I finally
caught up, then you smiled.

You can't smile
at me like that.

I never should have kissed you.

I assumed we were
forgetting about that.

I forgot it.

Well, I haven't.

Oh.

What an old tune.

The boss in love
with his protégé.

Is this all me?
Because that'll help.

I think about it.

Well, we can't. I have
someone, you have someone.

And believe me, I've considered
it a lot further than that.

I didn't know
you felt this way.

I don't want to,
that's the point.

Now I realize I never
should have brought it up.

Do you want me
to work someplace else?

No.

Of course not.

Come on, you have to do it.

And the left.

♪ Father Abraham had
seven sons, seven sons ♪

♪ And seven sons
had Father Abraham. ♪

Daddy, you came!

You didn't tell him I was here?

I wanted it to be a surprise.

You catch any fish?

Damn it, I made you a wallet,
but it's back in my cabin.

Bobby, language.

We'll get it later.

Mommy said we can have
anything we want.

Hi!

This is my mom and dad.

That's Bobby Two.
He's shy.

Are you Bobby or Bobby One?

I'm Bobby Five.

It's sad. There's no
Bobby One anymore.

Because of Bobby Kennedy?

No, he went home.

Do you want me to get the
waitress so you can get a drink?

- Is that possible?
- No.

Mommy's having a chef salad
and I'm having a cheeseburger.

What do you want
so I can order?

What's good here?

I'm afraid nothing.

Daddy, I want
to teach you this song.

Just do what I do.

♪ Father Abraham had
seven sons, seven sons ♪

♪ And seven sons
had Father Abraham ♪

♪ And they never
laughed, ha ha ♪

♪ And they never cried,
boo-hoo ♪

♪ All they did
was go like this ♪

♪ With the right ♪

♪ Father Abraham had
seven sons, seven sons ♪

♪ Seven sons
had Father Abraham ♪

♪ And they never
laughed, ha ha ♪

♪ And they never cried,
boo-hoo ♪

♪ All they did was go like this,
with the right... ♪

Can I walk you out?

Certainly, if you
don't mind waiting.

I need your advice.

And, well,
it's of a personal nature

and thus above Clara's
security clearance.

How can I help you?

Do you feel my attention
to business has been diluted?

How personal
is this conversation?

I'm being pulled
in a million directions.

My wife, my child, my mother.

I can't solve
those problems, Pete.

I have those problems.

I live with my mother.

Has your mother exhausted
every nursing agency?

No, but she's exhausted me.

Well...

the options are
my home and a home,

neither of which
will make me feel better.

I am sorry to hear that.

- Do you want to get supper?
- I can't. I have plans.

Thank you, Joan.

- For what?
- I don't know.

Welcome.

Oh, I'm a little damp.

Did it finally rain?

No, but I walked.
This was cold when I left.

You walked from the West Side?

What an incredible space.

Did you do this yourself?

Oh, I had a little help.

Arlene, you read about the
sh**t in the park, didn't you?

I'm not gonna let
a few lunatics

ruin a gorgeous night
like this.

Should I go get my script?

Megan, darling,

you're a good actress

on your way to becoming, well,

at least a successful one.

There's nothing I can
tell you about that script.

I came over here because
I'm worried about you.

Am I gonna get fired?

I remember my first job.

Believe it or not, in radio.

"Against the Storm."

Very classy, a lot of
big words, high morals.

And my agent,
who I later learned

was angling
to sign Roger DeKoven,

told me my voice was childish.

And every day I would
vacillate between

"Arlene, you're wonderful"
and "Arlene, you're caca."

Which was it?

Honestly?

I was wonderful.

You should go inside.

You'll get eaten
alive out here.

You know mosquitos ignore me.

In those shorts?

Did you find a bottle?

Maybe.

Cheers.

I loved camp.

I never went.

Yes, you did.

Remember when we went to Lake
Champlain with my parents?

I remember.

And you got in a horrible
fight with my father

about who would
carry the luggage.

And then we went in the
woods and made Sally.

I don't understand her.

Henry says
she's a lot like you.

How would he know?

He says she reminds him of you.

I think she's a lot like you.

Bobby reminds me of my father.

So bossy.

All the teenagers
of the world are in revolt.

What were we like?

You and me?

When I saw you earlier today

I thought for a second,
"Who is that man?"

And I forgot how mad
I was at you.

Ugh, I don't know what's
happened, but I'm all bit up.

Close the door.
You'll let the bugs in.

What are you doing?

Waiting for you
to tell me to stop.

What did you think
when you saw me?

That you are as beautiful
as the day I met you.

So finally I said to Mel,

"I'm either his mother or his girlfriend.
I can't be both."

That's bad writing.

You're so lucky he's at work.

Please, dear, that's a
complex relationship.

But he understands what you do

and he wants you to be great.

And he's always proud of you.
I've seen it.

Don's very proud of you.

You can tell
by how protective he is.


It's been so different.

You know, we worked together
and I left to pursue this.

And he was so encouraging.

And then you
started succeeding.

He's old-fashioned.

He'll get used to it.

I think he did.

And I think he got used
to me not being around

and having a bunch of problems
that he couldn't solve.

And I don't know

if it's him or me, but...

I feel so lonely.

Arlene.

What?

I want to make you feel better.

This isn't the way.

Forget it.

I can't believe you.

I'm trusting you and you're taking
advantage of every private moment.

Well, what was I
supposed to think?

You invited me over.

Your husband's not here.

Two bottles of wine
to go over a scene

a child could understand.

"I'm so lonely."

I work with you and your
husband is my boss.

And now what am I
supposed to do?

Am I gonna be punished
for not doing something

that you won't stop
trying to do?

Megan, it's okay to say no.

But you don't have
to embarrass me.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to.

No, stop it.

You're a tease.

Fine.

No, I'm fine
with being a tease.

Well, honey,

just learn the lines.

Two characters is tough,
but you know what Olivier says,

let the wig do the work.

I'm gonna go
before I--

well, it's too late
for that, isn't it?

Thank you for that.

No hard feelings.

Status quo ante bellum.

Everything as it was.

I missed you.

Do you feel guilty?

No.

This happened a long time ago.

Ugh, menthols.

I don't miss that.

Is this what it would have been
like if we'd stayed together?

I don't think about
that anymore.

I'm happy in my life.

Let's just enjoy this.

But you used to?

What are you thinking
right now?

I'm thinking about
how different you are,

before and after.

I love the way you look at me
when you're like this.

But then I watch it decay.

I can only hold
your attention so long.

Why is sex

the definition of being
close to someone?

I don't know,

but it is for me.

It is for most people.

Just because you climb a mountain
doesn't mean you love it.

Climbing a mountain?

Is that what
making love is to you?

If we'd lied here together
with you in my arms,

I would have felt
just as close.

Not the rest of it.
I don't know.

I don't know.

It doesn't mean
that much to me.

Is it the same with Megan?

Why do you want
to talk about that?

That poor girl.

She doesn't know
that loving you

is the worst way to get to you.

Are you sure you don't
want to just hold me?

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, thank God.
What are you doing in here?

I was just fixing the window.

What the hell happened here?

I'll replace it tomorrow
when I get back from work.

Because you're leaving me here

after someone threw a rock
through our window?

That's not what happened.

Well, I came in here and there's
glass all over the floor

and you're holding a rock.

I'm tired of being
interrogated in my own home.

Do you think they saw you
talking to the police?

If you're gonna let
your imagination run wild,

come to the paper
with me tonight.

Abe, I have to go
to work tomorrow.

And this is our bedroom.

Someone was in our yard.

I'm really scared here.

And you're going to protect me?
You only have one hand.

You're right.
You're right.

We'll start looking.
Put it on the market.

You'd really do that for me?

Maybe we're not cut out
to be pioneers.

Sleep in the parlor if you're worried.
I won't wake you.

Hello?

You took a four-year-old
to see "Planet of the Apes"?

He's been having
nightmares all night.

Hold on, hold on.

He wanted to see that.

He doesn't decide that.

Well, Don took his kid.

Don Draper, Father of the Year.

Margaret, honey, he loved it.

Put him on, I'll do Dr. Zaius again.
He laughs like an idiot.

The Forbidden
Zone was once a paradise.

You're not funny, Daddy.

We'll probably have to get rid of
the dog; he's that afraid of fur.

Listen, I saw "The Golem"
when I was his age.

You don't even know
what scary is.

I was fine.
It's not my fault.

Yeah, you're right.
It's my fault.

For letting you talk me
into having a four-year-old

watch another
four-year-old.

Listen to me, young lady,
you calm down this minute.

No, Daddy, you listen to me.

You can keep up your fantasy
of acting like a father,

but your grandfather
days are done.

I'm sorry you're upset.
I'm coming over.

- I'll calm him down.
- No.

And call Mother next time
you want to see him

'cause she has to be there.

- Morning.
- Good morning.

Good to see you.

It's such a project
going to the beach.

Can I go get Kevin?

Let him sleep a little more.

I'd love to get one
of those summer rentals.

Doesn't Pete Campbell
have a beach house?

I wouldn't ask him
for anything.

- Don't you like him?
- It's not that.

Actually,
he's the only person there

who's never broken
a promise to me.

He's a very generous person.

And frankly, I think
he's having a rough time.

So he told you
about his mother?

No, I wish he would have.
What's wrong?

He needs a nurse.

He's not gonna ask you.
He's too ashamed.

She back from the track already?

Ugh, she must have
forgotten her keys.

Oh, hello, Roger.

- Who are you?
- It's me, Bob Benson.

From the office.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I was out shopping

and I realized I had
misplaced some paperwork.

And I, uh--

what are you two doing?

We're leaving for the beach.

- You know what? I should go get the car.
- Good idea.

No, Mr. Sterling
is just leaving.

Roger, I'm sure
this can wait till Monday.

Sure, absolutely.
Sorry about that, Bob.

I guess we're all a little bit
out of context right now.

I take no offense.

Didn't know you were friends.

Some people never stop working.

I'm going to freshen up
and we'll get out of here.

Hey, get off our lawn!

What's going on?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Jesus!

Why didn't you say something?

- What do I do?
- Don't pull it out.

- If I don't make it--
- Stop it.

You're going to make it.
He's going to make it.

Look, I don't want you to think
this is about what you did.

It was an accident.
I feel horrible.

No, you're scared.

You're a scared person
who hides behind complacence--

cy.

Save your strength. You're
not making any sense.

I don't know why
I thought you'd be braver.

You're... in advertising.

Don't do this right now.
I said I was sorry.

Your activities are offensive
to my every waking moment.

I'm sorry...

but you'll always be the enemy.

Are you breaking up with me?

Got to hand it to you.

You gave me a great ending
to my article.

Oh, you're back.

Did you have fun?

I missed you.

Well, I miss you all the time.

I don't know when I started
pretending like everything was sunny.

I don't know where you've gone,

but I'm here.

I keep trying to make things
the way they used to be,

but I don't know how.

And maybe that's stupid

or young to think
like that, but...

something has to change.

Megan...

You're right.

I haven't been here.

Roger, please.

Come on, just take it.

They're Lincoln Logs.

I thought maybe he'd build
his mother a house.

You can't drop in
on me like that.

But I want to.

Oh, Roger, I'm so sorry,

but you can't do this.

Why not?

Because it's too confusing.

For Kevin.
You know.

But I'm his father.

No, his father is Greg.

But I'm here.

For now.

But every day Greg
is some hero out there.

And I'd rather him think
that is the man in his life.

Who's gonna watch TV with him?
Bob Bunson?

I just want to be around.

I know you want to.

But I can't count on that.

Thank you for the gift.

Something delicate
has come to my attention.

Have a seat.

I...

I've really debated whether
to bring this up with you

because I don't want to put
you in a strange position

and in the end
it's probably just gossip.

It's come to my attention

that you may be in need
of a nurse for your mother.

Joan had no right
to tell you that.

His name is Manolo Colón.

He's an army-trained
registered nurse

and he's available now
only because

he's brought my father
back to full health.

Is he Spanish from Spain?
Because otherwise Mother will refuse.

He's very well-bred.

And don't blame Joan.

She was concerned about you

and had exhausted her resources

and is well aware
that your well-being

is also an interest of mine.

Good morning.

- Is he in?
- Yes, just a minute.

It's okay.

Hi.
Good morning.

Good morning.

I just wanted to--

I needed to talk to you.

Peggy, what's wrong?

I...

Abe got stabbed.

My goodness. Is he okay?
What happened?

He's going to be fine.

But it's over.

We're done.

I'm sorry to hear that.

You are?

You'll find someone else.

And whoever he is,
he's lucky to have you.

Thank you.

You ready to get to work?

Excuse me?

It's Monday morning, Peggy.
Brand-new week.

Morning.
How was your weekend?

How'd it go with Fleischmann's?

They just called.
Full speed ahead.

Good work.

Round up the team.

♪ I walk along
the city streets ♪

♪ You used to walk
along with me ♪

♪ And every step I take ♪

♪ Recalls how much
in love we used to be ♪

♪ Oh, how can I forget you ♪

♪ When there is always
something there to remind me? ♪

♪ Always something there
to remind me ♪

♪ I was born to love you ♪

♪ And I will never be free ♪

♪ You'll always be
a part of me ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
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