01x18 - Wedding Plans

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Saved by the Bell: The College Years". Aired: May 1993 - February 1994.
Spin- off following the students in their freshmen year at California University.
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01x18 - Wedding Plans

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[dramatic music on TV ♪]

It never fails.

I've seen "Love Story"
seven times,

and I always lose it.

Wait a minute,
it's-it's already over?

Yeah, you missed
the deathbed scene.

Oh, who died?

Ali MacGraw.

Aw, geez, I didn't even know
she was sick.

[sniffling] I hope I look
that good when I die.

You don't look that good now.

That was the saddest movie
I have ever seen!

Next time, we rent
a Steven Seagal film.

People don't just die
in his movies, they explode.

Slater, you are so insensitive.

Come on, now, I'm as
sensitive as the next guy.

I just think it's dumb for a guy
to cry over a mushy little film.

Right Mike?


Oh, come here, you big gallute.

There's no shame in a man
showing his feminine side.

Hey, I don't have
a feminine side.

Even if I did, it'd...

...be really... macho.

So, who wants to go out
and grab a pizza?

- I do.
- All right, let's go.

Hey, Kel, you comin'?

Yeah, well, we-we could
go out for pizza, or...

...we could stay here
and be alone.

Talk about a no-brainer.

♪ I'm standing
at the edge of tomorrow, ♪

♪ and it's all up to
me how far I go ♪

♪ I'm standing at the
edge of tomorrow ♪

♪ I've never seen
such a view before, ♪

♪ a new world before my eyes ♪

♪ So much for me to explore ♪

♪ It's where my future lies ♪

♪ Today, I'm standing at
the edge of tomorrow ♪

♪ From here, the future
looks bright for me ♪

♪ And it's all up to
me how far I go ♪

♪ It's my time to break away ♪

♪ I'm standing at the edge
of tomorrow today ♪

I don't see why you're so upset.

So, I don't wanna go
to the stupid car show with you.

It's not just the
car show, Alex.

You never wanna do anything
that I wanna do.

I went to all those dumb
football games, didn't I?

You had to.
You were the mascot.

Still counts.

You know, if she won't
go with you to the car show,

I will.


- Aren't you in my history class?
- Yeah!

- You like cars?
- Are you kidding?

I hear they have
a cherry '59 Vet there.

It's got a 283 cubic inch V8.

- My name's A.C. Slater.
- Christy.

So, uh, what do you say?

You wanna ride with
me to the car show?

Well, I dunno. You see, uh,

Alex and I are sorta...
you know, goin' out.

Does Alex have a '67 Mustang?

Alex who?


Another moment of that, and I'm
going to have to have a cigarette.

Kelly, dear, I have
some wonderful news for you.

As the administrator of
the Semester on the Sea program,

I'm here to inform you
that you have been accepted.

Well, how could that be?

I thought I was rejected
for the program.

I know, but a couple of people
have dropped out.

The ship sails Tuesday.

That is, if you'd still
like to go.

Uh, Dean McMann, we really
appreciate your interest,

but I think I speak
for Kelly when I say--

I'd love to.

And by the way,
I speak for Kelly.


Honey, you can't be serious.

I mean, the Semester
on the Sea program,

that means you'll be
on the sea... for a semester.

And you're only a freshman?!

Look, Zack, this is a chance for
me to cruise the Mediterranean,

I mean, to see the Pyramids,
the Parthenon, the Coliseum.

Well, that's great,
but what about me?

Gee, you can see the
Mediterranean on a cruise ship,

or East Oakland on a moped.

Tough choice!

- I had a great time, Slater.
- Yeah, me too.

I've never met a girl who
knows so much about cars.

Boy, I would love to
take you home to Mom.

- [giggling] Really?
- Yeah.

She's got a Falcon
that needs a lube job.

Any time.

Yeah, well, I... guess
I'd better say goodnight.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, Slater.

Call me.

Uh, I was just coming back
from my study group, and...

I didn't see anything.

Uh, what exactly didn't you see?

I didn't see...
what you weren't doing,


Listen, listen, listen,
this is not what you think.

Oh, really?

'Cause I think you were
kissing another woman

while your girlfriend is
downstairs baking you cookies.

[knock on door]

- Professor Lasky.
- Hey, Zack.

Hi, there.

I just came by to tell you how much
I enjoyed your lecture this morning.

That's really amazing, considering
you slept through the whole thing.

I wasn't sleeping, I had my eyes
closed in intense concentration.

You were drooling on your desk.

I was merely salivating over
your incredible insight into...

- 14th Century religious icons?
- Exactly.

Oh, I was discussing
pygmy mating rituals.

sh**t, I slept through that?

What do you want, Zack?

Honestly, I just need a
recommendation from a professor

so I can go on the
Semester on the Sea program.

Man, I'd love to,

but a student I recommended
yesterday b*at ya to it.

Oh. Well, I...

...don't suppose you could
tell me who the student is.

No, Zack.

I'm not gonna have you con
some gullible student into not going.

Oh, sir, please, I'm offended.

Besides, I'm sure
whoever the student is,

he's far too bright
to fall for anything like that.

Ship ahoy!

- Hi, Zack.
- Hey.

Professor Lasky, I wanted to
thank you for your recommendation.

My pleasure.
Let me get your papers.

Oh, good.

Mm, now let's see.

Screech, who's my oldest friend,

...Kelly on the lido deck
in a string bikini?

Talk about another no-brainer.

Here he comes.

Okay, Stingray,
here's your 20 bucks, man.

Now, remember, make it scary.

Scary... Cool.

Stingray, what brings you here?

I come as a friend, man.

I don't think you should go
on that sea thing.

I heard they had a
shark att*ck last time out.

Oh, now, Stingray,
Screech is committed to going.

I'm sure a couple little sharks
aren't gonna scare him.

Speak for yourself!

I wanna hear this
Stingray, what happened?

Some student dude fell
overboard playin' volleyball.

He got eaten alive
by some major chompers.

Well, I don't play volleyball.

I don't play any sports.
Guess I'm safe.

Uh, Stingray, you know,
the way you told me the story,

wasn't that guy playin' with his
Mr. Potato Head collection?

Playing with
his Mr. Potato Head?

That could be me!

Me too.

[door closes]

Slater, we can't keep
avoiding each other.

We have to talk about
what I saw.

No, we don't.

You can't just ignore it
and hope it'll go away.

Hey, somethin' works for me,
I stick with it.

Look, it was a mistake.

The last thing I wanna do
is hurt Alex, Leslie,

it's just that Christy and I
have so much in common.

Slater, Alex is my friend and you are
putting me in a very awkward position.

Okay, okay.

I promise I'll talk to Alex
about it the first chance I get.

[door closes]
Talk to me about what?

Okay... fine...

...here it is.

Alex, I went to
the car show with...

...someone other than you.


- Chris--
- Tea--

No thanks,
I'm drinkin' orange juice.

Well, I don't know Chris,

but I hope you guys
had a good time.

Oh, well, we did.

Catch ya later!

All right,
he is acting really weird.

Now, what is going on?

Well, Alex, I really shouldn't
be the one to tell you this, but...

...that top really doesn't go
with those pants.

Gotta run.

Zack! What are you doin' here?

Well, Screech,
you're goin' off to sea,

and I'll probably never ever
see you alive again.

Zack, I just got off the phone
with my mother.

She says that ocean travel's
perfectly safe.


need I remind you of the tragedy
of the S.S. Minnow?


Who are ya gonna believe?

Your mom or Gilligan?

Gilligan, of course!

What was I thinking?

Hey, Kelly,

I'm as good as in.

Oh, that's wonderful.
Are you sure?

Well, let's just say
I have a feeling that

somebody's gonna be
dropping out very soon.

Hi, there!
Name's Curtis.

Hi, there.
Zack Morris.

I see you've met Kelly...
my girlfriend.


We've been talking
about the trip.

Yeah, Curtis' cabin's
right next to mine.

Isn't that funny?

[unconvincing laugh]

Okay, everybody,
take your seats.

I'd like to begin this orientation
with a slide presentation

of last year's
Semester on the Sea.


[clears throat]
All right, then.

Here we are sailing
through the majestic

and historic
Straights of Gibraltar.

Next stop on our journey, Rome,

where we'll study
ancient architecture and art.

But, it won't be all work.

We'll be having fun
on board, as well.


There's nothing like a refreshing
swim in the Mediterranean...


...and meeting new,
interesting friends.


What is the meaning of this?

The meaning of this
is I'm outta here!

- I'm not going!
- Lights.

All right, everybody,
just take a break

while I go through the
remainder of these slides

and try to figure out
who to f*re.

Dean McMann, oh, it's...

...too bad about Screech, huh?

Guess you'll need to find
a replacement.

Don't tell me.
You'd like to fill his spot?

I'm sorry, you can't go.

Why not?

I have the grades, and
Professor Lasky'll recommend me.

Yes, but you don't meet
the character requirements.

What's wrong with my character?

You don't have any.

That's not fair!

I know.

It's good to be the dean.

You know, Curtis,

I've been alone on
this ship for two days.

I don't think
I can take it anymore.

But what about your
boyfriend back at the dorm?

What boyfriend?

That blond-haired guy.

Blond-haired guy?

Oh, you mean, um,
what's his name.

- Zeke.
- Right, Zeke.

Ah, don't worry about him.

It's not like we're married.





Kelly, wake up.

Listen, I can't let you
go on that trip.

Zack, we've been through this.

I'm sorry you didn't make it in,
but I can't pass it up.

Kelly, I have lost you before.

I don't wanna lose you again.

A lot can happen
in three months.

Like what?

Like you can fall in love with
someone else, and besides,

my name is Zack, not Zeke.

Zack, I think you'd better go back to
bed before you wake up Alex and Leslie.

But, Kelly, I love you.

I don't wanna let you go.

Zack, I love you, too.

But this is a great opportunity,
I have to take it.


Look, everything's gonna
be all right. You'll see.

No. No, it won't.
We have to be together...


Zack, what do you want from me?

I want you...

...I want you to marry me.


- What?!
- What?!

Marry you?
Zack, you can't be serious.

Kelly, I have never been more
serious in my whole entire life.

I just can't imagine
living my life without you.

Aw, that is the sweetest thing
I have ever heard.


how can you resist
a proposal like that?

Alex, you stay out of this.
It's none of our business.

Don't you even think about
getting married at your age.


Yeah, Leslie, out!

But, uh, Alex, you can stay
because you know, Kelly,

she makes a lot of sense.


Come on.

Now, just let me explain--


Just get out... quick.

Zack, look, I know
why you're doing this.

You're just trying to keep me
from going on that trip.

No. No, Kelly, that is not true.

I've known this
was right for years.

I would have asked you
back in kindergarten,

but I still had that thing
for Marcia Brady.

Zack, we are so young.

I mean, what about
our education?

How are we gonna
support ourselves?

Kelly, those are all
good questions,

and to tell you the truth...

...I don't have the
answer to them.

But I do know...

...we can make this work
if we love each other.


I'm gonna need some time
to think about this.

Fine, I'll just wait outside.

No, Zack,

I mean real time.

Without you.

You mean, for like,
three months on a ship?

That's right.

I'm sorry, Zack.

I'm sorry, too.



Come on, Slater,
you have to deal with this.

What are you doing?

I am not budging until you
promise to talk to Alex.


Fine, I'll talk to her.


- Tomorrow.
- No!





So, now it all becomes clear.

It's just like
Single White Female.

First you become my roommate,
and then you borrow my earrings,

and now you're borrowing
my boyfriend!

That is not true!
Tell her, Slater!

I can't. I never saw
Single White Female.

You can't joke
your way out of this.

You're seeing this little tramp,
aren't you?

He is not! He's seeing
some other little tramp!

[door closes]

Is that true, Slater?

Well, I couldn't help myself.

She knew all about spark plugs.

So do Manny, Moe, and Jack,

are you having affairs
with them, too?

There is no affair, Alex.

The truth is, it's not Christy.

It could have been anybody.

It's our relationship.
It's just not working out.

I'm sorry if I hurt you.

Oh, you haven't hurt me.

In fact, I'm relieved.

I've been meaning
to tell you that...

I've been seeing the captain of
the football team behind your back.

You have?!


Screech, I'm really glad
you reconsidered,

and I apologize for tryin'
to scare you.

Yeah, well, I don't accept.

Here, I even bought you
a little going away present.

Oh, well that I accept.

"100 Ways to Pick Up Girls."

That's just great!

Yeah, I even underlined
a few passages

I thought you might need
some help on.



...the whole book's underlined!

Not chapter 8.

"How to recover from rejection."

- I got that down!
- Yeah.

Have a good trip, Buddy.

Remember, going overseas is
a great opportunity to meet girls.

- Thanks!
- Yeah.


Zack, can I come in?

Door's open!

Well, I'm leaving now.

I'm only gonna be gone
for three months,

and I'll write to you every day.

Oh, great, I can start
a stamp collection.

Zack, do we have to
say goodbye like this?

Pardon me, Kelly,

if I don't feel like going down to
the dock and throwing streamers.


Be that way.

But before I go, I just wanna
let you know something...

You're not the only one
who's hurting right now.

So, what do you do
if you lose your passport?

Go to the American Embassy.

Okay, and what do you do if
you lose your traveler's checks?

Call the bank.

And what do you do if you get
a gravy stain on your best shirt?

Gee, I don't know.

sh**t, I'm gonna have
to call my mom, then.

I can't believe
Zack didn't even show up.

Well, we didn't exactly
say goodbye on best terms.

Well, don't let it get you down.

As a student of psychology,

maybe it would help if I explain
why Zack's acting this way.

Please do.

He's a bum.

Anchors aweigh!

Screech, what happened
to your face?

Oh these? These are
called transdermal patches.

They're supposed to
prevent seasickness.

Screech, you're only supposed
to wear one behind the ear.

Those things
are heavily medicated.


That would explain why your head
looks like a giant banana squash.

Screech, if you get seasick
this easily,

maybe you shouldn't be
takin' this trip.

I guess you're right.

This is a bad idea.

You make a lot of sense.

Who are you?!

Come on.
I'll drive you home.

Can you drop me off at Zarlock?

It's the twelfth planet
from your Sun.

Bye-bye, Screech.

Bye, Mike.

Well, I guess this is goodbye.

Slater, Alex, look,

I hate to leave seeing
the two of you still fighting.

Slater, look,
I thought about what you said,

and you were right.
We're just too different.

Well, why don't we make a clean
break of it while we're still friends?

It's not your fault
and it's not my fault.

- It is nobody's fault.
- All right.

Actually, it is a little more
Slater's fault than my fault.

Bye, guys.

All ashore that's going ashore!


- Zack?
- I had to say goodbye...

...the right way.

Zack, they're beautiful.

Listen, I'm sorry
I was such a jerk.

You're right.

If we love each other we
can wait a lousy three months.

[announcement] Final call! All
visitors must now leave the ship!

Well, bon voyage.

Have a great time.

Be waiting for you.

Bye, Zack.


Zack, wait.

I-I-I know how hard it was
for you to come and see me off.

And I can think of a hundred
reasons why we shouldn't get married.

I know, Kelly,
we've been all through this.

But my answer's yes.


I love you and I wanna
marry you now.

Right away.

[ship horn blows]


I have one thing to say to you
and it comes straight from my heart.

- Well, what's that?
- Run!

Oh, yeah!

Slater, Alex, look, I hate
to leave seeing the guys--


Slater, Alex, look, I hate
to leave seeing the--




I had to say goodbye
the right way.

Oh, Zack, they're beautiful.

You're right.

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