01x06 - The Room

[bunniefuu]

( Clearing throat )

Damn, this house is cold.

sh*t, Hattie, it's like a g*dd*mn icebox.

Well, no wonder.

Girl, are you crazy?

We live in the desert, it gets cold at night.

You plan on sleeping all day?

I was planning to get me some breakfast before nightfall.

C'mon, bitch, get your lazy ass up.

Come on, now, this ain't the old folks home.

Hattie.

Hattie?

Hattie?

Gets dumped by a guy, she gets a puppy.

So now, she's got like 15 dogs they're all male, they're all huge, and they sit there and watch with their tongues hanging out while I work on her.

It's like being in some live sex show for Asian businessmen and frat boys.

Which I actually did for a while, back in the '80s, to make some money.

I got this great thing going with ping-pong balls you'd really like.

I'm gonna show it to you some time.

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if I got some hedge clippers and cut off your d*ck?

What?

Do me a favor, okay? Don't read that sh*t in front of me.

You gave it to me.

Yeah, come on, I'm late.

I'm at the part with the doll.

( Male ) Why is your doll angry?

Because she got r*ped.

Really, by who?

By you.

Brenda, do you know what "r*ped" means?

It means she was forced into sexual intercourse against her will.

It's so cool, you're obviously doing it to scare 'em into leaving you alone, right?

What do you want from me? I was eight.

Did it work?

No, it didn't work.

I just got a whole new level of scrutiny by a whole different set of vultures, only this time they were women.

I'm leaving, you still want a ride?

You alright?

Yes, I'm fine.

What are you doing today?

Ah, well... The cabinets, I'm gonna try to organize the cabinets.

Good.

I'll be downstairs.

Alright.

Hey, Bobby!

( Bobby ) Yeah.

Bring the Lincoln town car around front.

So, you're the other Fisher boy, huh?

The one from where, Oregon?

Seattle.

Right, with the health food thing.

Yep.

I remember your dad talking about you.

I'm sorry to hear about him, man.

He was a funny guy.

Yeah?

No, you don't pay.

Don't pay?

Yeah.

Your dad buried my brother a few years back.

It's in trade.

My father traded a funeral for oil changes?

Yeah, guess so.

Bye, mom.

Have a good day.

So, would you like us to take care of finding you a cemetery plot, Mr. Jones?

Yeah, I don't want to do that.

Would you like a double plot?

What for?

Well, one for your wife, and one for you.

Next to each other.

It this what you do all the time?

Sell people their own graves?

Well, yes, sir, this is my job.

Don't try to pull that sh*t with me, boy.

I want a simple box, no frills.

You can't take advantage of me because I'm old.

I'll kick your ass!

Just a single plot then.

No, double plot.

sh*t.

Will you want Mrs. Jones prepared for viewing?

Yes, I want to see her.

But I don't want you messing with her none.

I don't want you to cut her, or stick her, or pickle her like an egg.

If you want a viewing I strongly recommend...

That's my wife, boy, I don't want you to touch her!

Mr. Jones, I can guarantee that you will not want to see her, nor will anyone else, unless she's been embalmed.

I would beg you to consider what your wife would want.

She's dead, fool, don't matter what she wants.

Well, yes, sir, but...

After death, the body immediately begins to decompose, much quicker than you might think.

The skin begins to separate, there's quite an unpleasant odor.

Should you choose to forgo embalming, my recommendation would be cremation, as soon as possible.

That's just the way it is, Mr. Jones.

I don't want to burn her up, I want to see her.

Fine, you do understand, however, that means she'll need to be embalmed.

I ain't paying for that.

Sir, the cost is minimal.

I will waive the embalming fee, Mr. Jones, alright?

That was a good sermon, I thought.

Did you?

You didn't?

I didn't really listen to it.

( Female ) Hello!

Hello.

Hello.

Hello, Mrs. Fisher.

I'm Tracy Blair, David's friend.

Tracy.

I keep asking him when we're gonna meet his fiancee.

Does she go to another church?

Yes.

What fiancee?

Tracy, I told you, Jennifer and I had broken it off years ago.

You did?

So there's no fiance now?

Excuse us.

It's really a sore subject for us all.

Ow, you're hurting my arm.

( Male ) Ruth?

Hiram.

How are you?

I'm fine, thank you.

Have you been coming to church? I haven't seen you.

I wanted to give us some space.

Please don't sacrifice anything on my account.

Little late for that.

I miss you, can I see you?

No.

Ruth, haven't you punished yourself enough?

Shall we go?

Hi, I'm David Fisher.

Hiram Gunderson.

It's nice to meet you.

You're the hairdresser.

It's nice to meet you, son.

Don't call me that.

David.

What?

I'll go get the car.

No, I'm coming with you.

It's good to see you.

You look well.

( Knocking )

( Doorbell )

Okay, I hear you, Jesus!

( Knocking )

Who are you?

I live here, who are you?

I want to see my wife.

Oh, I'm sorry, we're not open yet.

Everyone who knows anything is gone.

I want to see my wife.

Look, sir, I'm sorry, I don't deal with the dead people.

So, you're just gonna have to come back when my brothers are home.

Bitch, I don't need your permission.

I'm sorry, you're just gonna have to come back later.

Ow, my foot.

What?

Help, help!

There's a white girl trying to cr*pple an old black man.

Honestly.

Look, sir, you can't go in there.

Hello?

Hello, is anyone home?

( Claire ) Yes, in here.

Who's your friend?

Hell if I know.

His wife d*ed and he wanted to see her.

I guess she isn't ready yet.

He looked like he was about to keel over, so, I help him sit down, then I had to listen to him bitch and moan about public transportation for f*cking ever.

And then he just like passed out.

Now I can't get his f*cking hand to let go.

Maybe he d*ed.

Very funny.

No, he's still breathing and farting.

Can you help me pry his hand loose?

Sure.

Is Nate around?

I just bought this fabulous antique chest that weighs a ton.

I'm gonna need a hand getting it home.

No, I haven't seen him.

I can help you move it, though.

Ah, no, thanks.

So, what, like, I'm no good, 'cause the whole cabinet moving thing's just foreplay for you to f*ck my brother?

No, I'm just not into baby-sitting high school girls.

No offense.

Let go of me!

Damn, what y'all doin', trying to steal my watch?

I ought to call the g*dd*mn cops.

Why? You're the one who's breaking and entering.

Look, we've gotta go move a chest.

Someone should be back soon to let you see your wife.

Hey, little girl.

What?

You ain't fooling nobody.

Great, thanks.

I'll work on that.

Look, I'll be like one minute to change, okay?

Are you gonna be okay here alone?

Everybody's alone.

You born alone, you die alone, goddamnit.

I'm sorry about your wife.

You didn't know her.

Jessica Wilcox?

I'm Nate Fisher, Nathaniel's son.

I wondered why I hadn't heard from Nathaniel in quite a while.

I hate this.

I hate that I'll never see him again.

He was such a kook.

A kook?

Dad?

I don't think anybody ever made me laugh like that.

He had such a sense of humor.

So I hear.

He was really proud of you.

I'm Nate, not David.

I know who you are.

You're the one who took off.

Your father really respected you for that.

Said he wished he'd had the guts to do that when he was a kid.

Ms. Wilcox, did you have some kind of arrangement with my father?

Arrangement?

Uh, in our ledgers, some of the funerals were marked differently and your mother's was one.

It seems my father sometimes traded his services for payments other than cash.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but can I see some kind of identification?

Driver's license would do.

Ah, sure.

Libra, huh?

I would've taken you for a Capricorn.

You drink a lot of coffee up in Seattle?

Yeah.

Better be careful.

It'll give you kidney stones.

Oh, come on.

Surely you wouldn't begrudge your father such a minor indulgence.

My father never smoked pot.

Not in front of you, he didn't.

It's the finest organic, grown up in San Francisco by my son.

Take it.

It's your father's monthly supply.

How is your mother doing with the grieving, David?

She's fine.

As far as I can tell.

You know her, she likes to suffer in silence.

Uh-huh.

That seems to be a family trait.

You know, it's god's will for us to live our lives fully.

Breathing in the joy around us, not just shouldering the pain.

God wants you to be happy.

I call them energy buns.

They're my own recipe.

Well, not really, adding the peppers was something I picked up on my honeymoon.

Have you ever been to Brazil?

Ah, no.

Oh, my god, Brazilians are the most beautiful people alive!

They're like these fabulous mongrels who have incorporated all the very best attributes from every race.

I mean, all that cross-breeding, hello?!

I had a half-breed mutt who lived to be almost 20.

And then I got this pure-bred corgi and its hips disintegrated before it was even two.

Here you go.

f*ck you, church freaks.

Well, enjoy.

Do you cook?

I hate cooking just for myself.

That's the worst part about being divorced.

That and the whole no regular sex thing.

David?

Could I talk to you for a moment?

Alone?

Excuse us.

What do you want?

Ruth won't talk to me.

I'm worried about her.

I was hoping that you could...

You were f*cking my mother while my father was still alive and now you want me to...

Look, I understand if you're upset.

Understand this, whatever you have with my mother is between you and her.

But I have no interest in helping you.

Table for one?

Are you the owner?

Yes.

Did you know my father...

Nathaniel Fisher?

This used to be our storeroom.

But when I finally got a loan from the bank, I put an extension out the kitchen.

Your father buried my wife seven years ago.

I had very little money for the funeral.

He asked if he could have this room as his own.

And that would be my settlement.

What did he do here?

I don't know.

Stay as long as you like.

How often did he come here?

Sometimes we wouldn't see him for months.

Sometimes he was here everyday.

♪ ( Music )

♪ Leave your tears behind ♪

♪ come with us and climb ♪

♪ the pleasures of the journey to the center of the mind ♪

♪ come along if you care ♪

♪ come along if you care ♪

♪ take a ride to the land inside of your mind ♪

♪ beyond the seas of thought ♪

♪ beyond the realm of what ♪

♪ across the streams of hopes and dreams ♪

♪ where things are really hot ♪

♪ come along if you care ♪

♪ come along if you care ♪

♪ take a ride to the land inside of your mind ♪

( g*nshots )

♪ If all of mankind ♪

♪ would take the time to journey ♪

♪ to the center of our mind ♪

Ah, Mrs. Fisher.

Good afternoon, Nikolai.

I don't believe I've had a chance to thank you yet.

When Kroehner started pressuring everyone to cut us off, most of us our suppliers just abandoned Fisher & sons.

You stuck with us.

Of course I stick with you.

Here.

Thank you.

Well, these flowers are not going to plant themselves.

Such delicate skin.

You have Russian color.

I do?

You don't like the beauty you have?

The front door is open.

You can leave the flowers inside.

Okay.

Okay, that is where that is going to have to stay.

God, that sh*t was heavy.

You wanted to help.

Oh, my god, is this yours?

Uh, no, that's Nate's, but he keeps leaving it in my car.

I love this book!

You read it?

Oh, yeah, my friends and I were all over this book, like three summers ago before they all turned into pretentious drama nerds and totally abandoned me, thank god.

What's your favorite part?

Oh, they're too numerous to mention.

Where's that part where she stops speaking for a month and just barks at them?

( Barking )

( Female ) Brenda...

Brenda, I know you're angry.

( Barking and growling )

Can you talk to me?

( Growling )

You know they put me in therapy 'cause I stole that foot?

Yeah, Nate told me.

God, I would love to go into one of those sessions and just bark...

Just to see the look on his face.

So, do you totally identify with this book too?

Of course she does.

It's about her.

What?

She's Charlotte.

You're sh1tting me.

Is he for real?

Completely.

Oh, my god.

This is like meeting Gandhi or Jesus.

Don't tell me...

The book spoke to you.

Like it was written specifically for you.

Well, yeah, in a way.

Have you been to the website?

There's a website?

Oh, yes.

There's a fan club.

Yeah, those lonely little girls desperate for something to emulate because apparently they're not original enough to come up with anything on their own.

That's what I like to see, drinking before sundown.

Hi, I'm Billy.

I'm Claire.

How do you know my sister?

Through my brother, Nate, they're dating.

Oh, yeah, dating?

Like what, going steady?

He give her his I.D. Bracelet?

Did she carve his initials in her arms so, they'd be there forever?

Yo, Bren...

You should've seen me out on the ocean today.

All those Venice dicks taking themselves so seriously.

You surf?

Me, do I look like I surf?

Do I?

Uh-oh.

You'll freeze your ass off this time of year wearing that thing.

So, it's my ass.

Oh, fine, you want to get pneumonia again go right ahead.

Claire, I should take you home, I got stuff to do.

That's alright, I'll take her.

Great.

No, I've got time, we just need to go right now.

Well, if you have stuff to do, don't worry about it.

Yeah, do your stuff.

I just have to take a shower.

So, I'm walking along one day and this assh*le stops me and asks me if I'm alright.

He says I got a look.

He'd seen a man with that same look once, and had ignored it.

And that man had jumped out a nine-story window.

( Laughing )

You know the reconstruction involved in a death like that?

This business gets under your skin.

It's like a f*cking virus.

You can even see it on your face.

Smell it on you.

What the hell is this place?

This music?

Since when do you listen to "the classics four"?

What the hell did you do here?

Who the hell are you?

So many questions.

Why couldn't you ask them while I was still alive?

It's okay, I couldn't have answered most of them anyway...

Unlike now, now, I'm a f*cking prophet.

Right.

You think I'm kidding, buddy boy?

That's one of the perks of being dead.

You know what happens after you die.

And you know the meaning of life.

That seems fairly useless.

Yeah, I know.

Life is wasted on the living.

You could've told me you were proud of me.

You were never around for me to tell.

Which is exactly what I was proud of you for.

Therein lies your catch-22.

So, what's the meaning of life?

You really want to know?

I don't know.

Will it f*ck me up if I do?

( Whispering )

David, you make such a handsome Deacon.

All those old stiffs.

Finally a dose of Viagra to the place.

Oh, I don't mean that literally, not like you'd need it.

Ah, thank you, Tracy.

So...

No fiancee, huh?

Uh, no, no, that's over.

But she broke my heart and I'm just not ready or interested in any sort of relationship now.

Oh, come on, any relationship?

I'm just not ready and I doubt that I will be for quite some time.

Well, what if Cindy Crawford were to walk up to you and say, "just use me for sex"?

I would say no.

Liar.

Is it so wrong to want a little human contact?

You're lonely too.

I can tell.

For Christ sake, Tracy.

What does it take?

No.

Well, you don't have to be so mean about it.

Apparently I do.

Look, I come here to feed these people because I don't want to talk to anybody.

Do us both a favor, go to a bar, pick somebody up.

No, we just met.

I know, I'm sorry.

I'm just so turned on by you.

Shut up.

I have to go home.

Hey...

I want to see you again.

Good.

But I'm not some skank for you to f*ck.

If that's what you're into, just go and find that somewhere else.

That's not what I'm into, Claire.

I swear.

If you're lying, I...

Swear to god, I will k*ll you.

I will kick your ass.

You do not want to mess with me.

That ain't her.

Excuse me?

That ain't my wife, that ain't my Hattie.

What'd you do with my Hattie?

Mr. Jones, with all due respect...

I don't want your respect, I want my wife.

Sir, that is your wife.

You married?

Yes, sir.

She all young and pretty and know how to treat you right?

Yes, sir.

You can't believe how lucky you are.

How life can be so good to you, right?

She gonna turn to that.

We all do.

Well, don't that piss you off, boy?

Not yet.

He used this how long?

Seven years.

It's weird how you keep showing me rooms people used to live in.

I just think it's so f*cking weird he'd sit in this sad little room doing god knows what.

Why does it have to be sad?

Look around.

I think it's fascinating.

Really, why?

It's such a mystery, you know?

You'll never know what went on here.

That's exactly what's driving me crazy.

So, what if you did know?

Had it all explained to you.

I bet it wouldn't be nearly as interesting or fun.

Your father would be a lot more boring.

Enjoy this.

Come on, don't you pick up on something?

I thought things left marks in people, in places, in time.

What, you think I'm a witch?

You really don't get any kind of vibe from this place at all?

You want to know what I think?

I think your father wanted some place that was just his and nobody else's.

Nate, if you didn't know him when he was alive, you never will.

I dot want to be somebody who, when I die, nobody knows who I was.

So, don't be.

How you doing, Mr. Jones?

I'm sitting here holding my dead wife's hand.

How do you think I'm doing?

Well, you let me know if you need anything.

Oh, hello.

For Jones.

Mr. Jones, see the beautiful flowers for your wife's viewing tomorrow?

I don't know why you so excited.

They just going to shrivel up and die.

Well, thank you.

I'll see you out.

I don't know what you think you're doing, but I'm going to have to ask my sons to order flowers from another florist if this behavior continues.

Which behavior?

This is our place of business.

There are grieving people here.

I can't have you skulking around with that look in your eye.

What look?

That sex look.

Maybe you like it.

Lady wear red, she mean business.

This is just what was clean.

Lady, I can see if it from here, and I'm blind and deaf.

You need to get yourself laid.

Whoa.

Time warp.

I told you.

It's pretty cozy...

For a morgue.

Must be weird.

You get used to it.

You ever done it with anyone in here?

Yeah, right, and have my mother walk in?

No.

Wow, you look great.

Shut up.

Come on, seduce me.

There you go.

Oh, yeah, there you go.

Wow, don't pretend like you haven't done this before.

You are a natural, look at you.

No, no, don't hide.

Wait.

This is what you do?

You sh**t models and stuff?

Hardly.

Hurry, it's on a timer.

( Camera clicking )

Something to remember me by.

Hey, what do you think about Brenda and your brother?

Think they have a chance in hell?

I hope so.

She's pretty amazing.

He'd be a real idiot to let her go.

Then again, he's capable of being an idiot sometimes.

Yeah, so why is she into him, just hot sex?

I think he's really in love with her.

How could he not be?

sh*t, I'm thirsty.

You got any beer?

No, sorry.

That's alright, I should be heading out anyway.

Uh, okay.

I had fun today.

Me, too.

Let's do this again.

Okay.

( Door closing )

Okay, Mr. Boelson is all juiced up.

I'll be in at around seven tomorrow to airbrush him, get him ready for the viewing.

Unless you want me to do him now.

I was kinda hoping to get home before Vanessa put Julio down.

That's fine.

Goodnight.

You need any help?

No, Federico.

Go home to your family.

Don't work too hard.

Mr. Jones...

Time to go home.

Who the hell are you?

I'm Nate.

I work here.

That's my wife in that box.

I know.

I'm very sorry.

56 years I spent sleeping in the same bed with that woman.

56 years listening to her talk about the same sh*t day in, day out.

It's late, maybe I should drive you home.

Shut the f*ck up, boy, and let an old man speak.

Okay.

She chased me across the front yard with a steak Kn*fe once, tried to cut my ass.

We spent close to a year apart.

That time like a hole in me now.

She the only one who really knew me.

Your wife will always be with you, in your memories.

When you love somebody that much, they never really...

You sell that sh*t to somebody who buying it

'cause I ain't.

You don't know nothing about love.

Some pretty little thing catches your eye and the next thing you know, it's been 56 years and you'll sh*t all over yourself in a movie theater and she the only one to help you clean it up.

Th's love.

You don't know nothing.

I won't argue that.

Can I get you anything to drink?

I have beer, red wine, a little vodka.

Just water, thanks.

I don't usually go out on a school night, but you know how it is sometimes.

Yeah.

Here you go.

My ex.

We were together for nearly two years and then he dumped me for a 22-year-old stand-in he met on location.

I think that's the only picture I had of him I didn't tear up.

It's funny, you think you know somebody.

I hear he's in a.A. Now.

So, are you in the business?

Ah, no.

No, I'm a lawyer.

I'm from Boston.

God, how refreshing.

You tend to forget sometimes living in L.A.

That there's this world outside the entertainment industry.

That's the real world.

So, what do you do?

Production accounting, I told you that.

Right, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

So, Jim...

What do you like to do?

Um, can we sit down?

Sure.

Had a little too much to drink there, Jim?

You okay?

Yeah.

I want to apologize for what happened yesterday.

Is okay.

I should never have lashed out at you like that.

It's just, I don't know what's wrong with me, I...

Shh.

I was holding a sauce pan the other day and all of a sudden I remembered making creamed corn in that pan.

Some night when it was raining outside and both the boys had colds and my husband was on a call, picking up a body.

And then yesterday I was cleaning out the cabinets and I found a jar of baby food in the very back, strained carrots from when Claire was a baby.

That jar had been sitting there for over 15 years.

I am surrounded by these...

These relics.

Of a life that no longer exists.

We're here for the Jones' viewing.

Right this way, please.

( Phone ringing )

( Billy ) Yeah?

Oh, sh*t, Billy, did I wake you?

I'm sorry, f*ck.

Who is this?

It's Claire.

Who?

It's Claire, Nate's sister.

I just wanted to see if maybe you wanted to hang out after school again today.

Not really.

C'mon, Claire, you're what, 16?

What do you think I am, a pedophile?

Well?

I don't know what you want me to say.

I don't want you to say anything, I just thought you should see it.

I've seen it.

Great, so, dad traded a room for a funeral.

No wonder we never had any money.

Didn't dad ever say anything to you about this place at all?

Dad and I never talked about anything but work.

That's exactly the relationship you and I have.

Nate, people are allowed to have private lives.

So, what if dad had a secret room? I don't care.

I don't care if he brought women back here to f*ck.

I don't care if he brought men back here to f*ck.

You think we should tell mom about it?

Sure, why not?

You won't be happy until this whole family is in therapy.

That's...

Kind of a leap.

Dave, look, I know you're pissed off about a lot of sh*t, but I didn't make any of that sh*t happen.

Oh, right, I abandoned you.

Well, you know what?

I'm not your father.

I'm not the one whose responsibility it was not to abandon you.

So, just get over it, please.

Life is just too f*ckin' short.

Well, thank you, Nate, I appreciate your honesty.

Wrapped as it was, in such a bouquet of condescension.

If I were you, I'd pack this place up, before they start charging us rent.

Quite a hottie, huh?

This is mom.

You have no idea how beautiful she was, buddy boy.

I have no idea who you were.

I really wasn't that interesting.

No, I think you probably were.

I think you were this great guy who was funny and weird and...

High.

I was just always so afraid of everything you did... death.

You know, I made the decision to come back home to become a f*cking undertaker because I thought it was something you believed in.

And now, I find out you think running away is the best thing I ever did?

Maybe.

Jesus Christ, I kept us from selling to Kroehner.

And I'm taking the funeral directors' license test next month.

Maybe I was just covering up for how embarrassed I was when you left.

Is that why you left half the business to me?

To get back at me?

Maybe.

Maybe I just wanted to see if you had the balls to go against me.

Or maybe I really wanted you to have it.

You'll never know.

Goddamnit!

When are you gonna stop f*cking with me?!

When are you gonna stop caring what I thought?

( Imitating Nate ) "I never knew my father."

Get over it, please.

Life is just too f*cking short.

My brother is a very complicated man.

And very high maintenance.

Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly, but I pity the woman he ends up with.

See, that's the same thing I'd say about my brother.

Nate is not even in the same league.

Was I crazy?

I mean, Billy was really acting like...

Did you f*ck him?

No.

Well, you dodged a b*llet there.

Is every man alive a total assh*le?

At some point or another.

Then again so are we.

C'mon, we gotta go.

I still cannot get over the fact that you are

"Charlotte light and dark".

You have to, because it's very irritating.

Mr. Jones is still downstairs.

I know.

This silver has been in your father's family for three generations.

I don't believe I've ever used it.

I'm going to put an ad in the paper and see if I can sell it.

Mom, I found something you probably should have.

Where did you find these?

In the office, among dad's things.

Look at what a child I was.

Your father was leaving for Vietnam.

He volunteered as a medic.

Your grandfather was furious.

You don't remember your grandfather, do you?

No.

He was a very unhappy man and he wanted everyone else to be unhappy too.

And we were all living in this house.

You were a baby and there was no privacy so...

Nathaniel and I got a room at a motel.

Some seedy place in the valley.

And we made love like maniacs.

Like it was the last time.

Your father took these pictures, in that dank little room.

Told me he kept them in his pocket in Vietnam to protect him.

It was frightening how much we change.

Are you staying for dinner, dear?

Yeah.

Mr. Jones, you probably should think about heading home.

You've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow with the funeral...

Mr. Jones?

Mr. Jones.

Mr. Jones?

Aw, sh*t.

♪ Where the cars go by ♪

♪ all the day and night ♪

♪ What's so wrong tonight ♪

♪ pray for me ♪

♪ praying for the light ♪

♪ baby, baby ♪

♪ let's go out tonight ♪

♪ where the lights won't shine ♪

♪ I can only wonder ♪

♪ Be mine, all mine ♪

♪ baby, I'll be good ♪