02x12 - I'll Take You

[bunniefuu]

( Speaking Spanish )

Yes, yes, yes.

( Gasping )

Very beautiful, very beautiful.

( Speaking Spanish )

( Speaking Spanish )

Enrique!

( Spanish )

( Speaking Spanish )

Enrique.

( Music playing )

Hey, encyclopedia brown.

You're snooping?

No, it was open.

"f*ck me harder, surfer boy, "with your fat little crooked cock and your "please tell me you're not serious" shaved balls."

This is pretty out there, Bren.

Not really.

Have you ever had sex with two men at the same time?

Have you ever had sex with two women?

And once again, you refuse to answer my question.

Have you?

Yes.

How was it?

Which time?

"He puts on his yin Yang baseball cap

"and asks for her number.

"Why", she says, "so we can date?"

Well, she has a point.

"On his way out he says, "late" in that stupid, surfer way.

"Late.

"She feels sad for about half a second, "then the familiar relief when she hears the door shut.

Why does it always feel so good when they leave?"

What?

I love it, I think it's great.

Yes, it's just really, really weird hearing it out loud.

I don't care if you love it.

I didn't write it for you.

You know what I think?

I think you're angry with me about sleeping with Lisa.

Yeah.

So, maybe you're getting back at me by writing about you being with someone else.

Nate, it's not that simple.

I started writing this long before I found out about you and Lisa.

So, tell me.

What else is in that computer?

Or this computer.

Hmm?

Taylor, someone very important is coming over tomorrow.

A very important friend.

And we need you to be on your best behavior.

Oh, you mean a social worker?

I've had them before.

Mrs. Pastorelli and Mr. Shipley.

He smelled like Fritos and coughed a lot.

Me and my mom, we used to call him "Mr. sh*t-for-brains".

Hey, I am sick and tired of your mouth, alright?

When you speak like that, you're not showing any respect for yourself.

And believe me, there are plenty of people in this world that are not gonna respect you without you adding to it.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

You're gonna be late for school.

Go brush your teeth so we can leave.

Keith, I don't think she...

I don't want to hear it.

Oh, because I'm white, I couldn't possibly understand?

No, because you're gonna start spouting all that child psychology bullshit you been reading.

It's not bullshit, it's called the whole child theory, and it's only the collective thoughts of some the greatest educators around, okay?

Letting her know that we love her for who she is builds trust.

Constantly scolding her for behavior we don't like doesn't.

What?

I don't know how we're gonna raise a child.

We just are, okay?

David, the board still hasn't cleared me on the sh**ting.

We're going to get the guardianship, and we're going to be good parents.

Taylor, how long is it gonna take you to brush your teeth?!

I would like to go on record as saying I am in full support of you going to art school.

Consider it recorded.

But I'm just taking a tour.

Let's not get our panties in a wad over it.

Oh, that's such an unpleasant expression.

I never got to go to college.

Did you even want to?

I did, I wanted to study French feminist writers.

You're a feminist, mom?

Feminism means being accepted for who you are.

I wanted to be a wife and a mother.

I never gave anything up to be a mother or a wife.

It was what I wanted.

I thought you just said you gave up going to college.

Why is every conversation with you a trap?

Sorry.

I'm sorry, be a feminist.

We can both be feminists.

Check it out, Cindy Sherman went here.

Whoa, and Billy Chenowith?

I never knew that.

Brenda's brother?

The one in the mental institution?

He's out.

Is he cured?

Who knows?

God, I hate my hair.

When I go to college I'm gonna cut it all off like Felicity.

Have I met her?

Yeah, she was here for dinner once.

Federico?

Are you alright?

Yeah, I'm fine, David.

You know her?

Mm-hmm, abuelita.

It means grandma.

Federico, I'm so sorry.

No, no, she's not really my grandma, she's just sort of adopted.

She lived by herself, right across the street from me and Vanessa before we moved.

I used to clean the leaves out of her gutters, and bring her trash cans back up the driveway, nothing big, just when I was doing mine.

We used to invite her to all the kids' birthday parties.

She would sit in this folding chair, just happy to be there, with a big smile on her face.

That's sweet.

Is that the pre-need she and I did together?

Yeah.

This a new rule?

We can wear our pajamas to work?

Sorry, I live at Keith's now.

I don't know where half my stuff is.

Oh, yay.

What?

She wants the our lady of Guadalupe casket, I love that one.

Keith.

Listen, we heard back from the use of force review board about your sh**ting.

I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but...

You're being brought up on charges.

Turns out all the perp had was a toy p*stol.

There's also evidence to suggest that if the perp hadn't d*ed, he might have invented a clean burning alternative to fossil fuels, reducing our dependence on imported energy sources, thus ending the conflict in the middle east and deflecting the horror of the impending world w*r!

It's good.

They decided it was a good sh**ting.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

( Phone ringing )

Hey, baby.

Hey.

Well, the board ruled.

I'm off the hook.

Oh, thank god.

I'll talk to you later.

Love you, bye.

Claire Fisher?

How'd you know?

You don't look like a Mujadeep Siddiqui.

I'm Henry, I'll be your cruise director.

Excellent.

Let's go.

So, let me guess, you were like the one total weirdo outcast in your high school?

Not the only one.

But definitely one of the top 10.

I think that's what all of us are.

I think every last freak of every last California high school winds up here.

We're kind of the island of misfit toys of colleges.

Can anyone take welding?

You have to, it's a requirement.

How cool that welding is a requirement, not f*cking calculus, nobody's gonna be looking at my math grades to get in here.

Well, even though you don't need the grades you still gotta make total sure you rock the application thing.

Yeah, definitely.

No, seriously.

A lot of people want to go to school here so, it's not like, a total sleepwalk to get in.

Your essay, your portfolio, all of that stuff counts.

Your letters of recommendation.

Who do you know?

Uh, nobody.

Well, I sorta know Billy Chenowith.

Ah, he's okay.

Personally, I think everything he does, Gregory Crewdson did better, except years ago.

But the alumni thing should work in your favor.

This one's called "Jesus balls."

First year student.

No, that's fine, we don't have to go out tonight.

Okay.

Although, we did decide that we would get together every other night.

Okay.

But this is actually better, because now we can go out Saturday, then Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of next week.

Oh, wait.

Then we can't be together next Saturday.

Okay.

So, truth be told, every other day isn't a workable plan.

I think we should decide on a number of days per week, say, three days a week, or four days a week...

Three days a week.

Right, or four days a week, and then choose those four days, always making sure we include Saturdays, because who wants to stay alone on a Saturday, right?

Whatever you decide.

Nikolai.

Don't let me talk you into something you don't want to do.

No, is fine.

Good, let me go look at a calendar.

So, tell me everything.

What does the human fry master look like?

The crematory?

Well, it's a big steel thing in a big room.

How does it work, exactly?

The container is placed on these chrome rollers.

Then a small door raises and the body goes through.

Like how your tray disappears through that thing in the cafeteria?

Uh, yeah.

Actually, it's just like that.

And then?

And then once the body is in there, then there's a button that's pressed.

Sounds good.

Even though the good rabbi said I shouldn't, just burn me up.

Who pushes the button?

Whomever you specify.

Buddhists have a family member.

And then some people choose no one, in which case the person who works at the crematory does it.

I'll take that guy.

I guess I'll be on my own at that point, though.

What about family members, your parents?

They just got to be total downers.

I told them to stop coming.

They'll find out I'm dead when the rest of the world does.

Any other friends?

Yeah, I had some, a lot of work, you know?

A lot of people freak out when you get sick, and a bunch of people betrayed me, some people just got too crazy to deal with.

What about a girlfriend?

Nah, I mean, yeah, I had girlfriends.

Relationships.

I'd be in something, for whatever, like two months, two years, then it would just get too...

Too nothing, just too.

I'd start thinking, I don't like this about her, and I don't like this about her.

Then I would start to feel this thing on the back of my neck, just like one of those Superballs, and it would just throb with the word, "leave".

"Leave, leave," and so I would.

And the second I got my life back, the ball would disappear.

I suffer from that American thing, big time.

Always looking around for someone better.

Shopping.

I think a lot of people go through that.

No, they don't, man.

Okay? They don't.

Most people just pick someone.

I never looked at someone and just said, "okay...

I'll take you."

You can still connect with people.

No, I can't.

It's too late.

Listen...

I'm gonna make a commitment to you.

I am hereby committing to come and see you every day, without fail.

You don't have to come and see me every day.

No, I want to.

Whatever.

Alright, until tomorrow then.

You want me to bring you anything, magazines?

Nah.

May I help you?

Are you the owner?

Yes, I'm David Fisher.

Andrew Perez.

I understand my mother's funeral is to be held here.

Yes, of course, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

I was wondering if we could go over the arrangements.

Of course, let me just get my associate, he helped your mother with her pre-need contract.

Fine.

I was a personal friend of your mother's.

My family and I lived across the street from her for many many years.

( Phone ) I'm sorry.

Hello.

Hey.

Yeah.

Yeah, I just wanted to ask you, I'm, say about 55-minute drive from Mission Viejo.

Where's that course you and Jim played last winter?

Hold on.

You got a pen?

Okay, okay.

Yeah, got it.

Yeah, thank you so much.

Well, it was her time, she lived a full life.

Okay, you take care.

I'm an orthopedic surgeon and every may we do a tournament.

Your mother was very, very proud of you.

She always said, "my Andresito's a surgeon."

She was a wonderful woman.

And I'd like to give her a top-of-the-line funeral.

I like this one.

Is it real mahogany?

Yes, it is.

Oh, your mother already chose a casket, sir, it's in her pre-need.

She liked this one.

Well...

I'd like to give her something nicer.

Yes, well, she liked this one.

This looks like some kind of g*ng-banger, low-rider, I don't know what.

She chose this one because she was living on a fixed income.

I have money and I want to change it.

She liked this one, and this is the one that she should have.

Mr. Fisher.

I'm offering your business more money.

Now, your associate seems to have some kind of conflict of interest that I don't understand.

I only want to give my mother the best.

I appreciate your concern, Mr. Perez, and I'd be happy to upgrade your mother's casket.

But legally, we're required to fulfill her wishes.

I don't know what kind of piece of sh*t operation you people are running here, I really don't.

I'm trying to do something nice for my mother and you just won't get out of my f*cking way.

( Door slamming )

Well, I'm going to go make a salad.

David?

If you weren't legally bound to follow Mrs. Perez's instructions, would you have...

To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure we are legally bound.

Alright, that should be everything.

Now, I will contact you as soon as I know if we'll be able to do a viewing, okay?

No one should have to see him this way, not even my mother.

My son is the one who saw everything happen.

It was raining.

And I had told my dad that it was too slippery on the roof.

Of the house.

My husband was fixing the roof himself.

But he went up there anyway.

You're gonna freak when you see him.

I saw him.

I'll be okay.

I turned him over and I looked at him.

I know you're not supposed to touch 'em, because it might be a back injury and all, and my mother started yelling not to touch him...

I thought it might be a back injury.

But I turned him over.

You see, he fell like, face first into the pile of bricks on the side of the house, so...

I saw him, I...

( Sobbing )

( Mother ) It's okay, mijo, it's okay.

What are you looking for?

Anything that seems too funny.

Funny "ha-ha" or funny gay?

What about this, think I should put this away?

What is it?

Esquire's "things a man should know about style".

Oh, please, a book about fashion has to be gay?

Stop being such a bigot.

"Spy kids", "shadow", "shadow two", uh-oh.

Here, Taylor, put this away.

"The wiz"? You're kidding.

It's a gay video.

It's a kid's video.

With Diana Ross and Michael Jackson?

Michael Jackson's a scarecrow.

It's not like they're not going to know that we're gay.

We're two men living together.

Yeah, well, I don't want to seem too gay.

Or like we're trying to make her gay.

Oh, right, watching "the wiz" will turn her into a lesbian.

David, don't be so naive.

That's the way some of these people think.

You ought to worry about it making her want to have plastic surgery.

Y'all are crazy.

Okay, now, what about this?

Okay, that's pretty gay.

Hey.

So, thank you for hooking me up with lac-arts.

I finally went and visited.

Uh-huh.

And, actually, it was amazing, not just the facilities, I mean, which were unbelievable, they had this whole giant kiln wing...

A what wing?

Kiln.

Uh-huh.

But, there were these, I don't know, not cool people, 'cause they're not like the, whatever, poseurs here, but the people there...

How large is the student body?

Um, I don't know, but I just...

I did my whole application thing, and I just...

I just...

You just what?

I want this.

I really want to go there.

Well, just let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

Well, actually, I do need to get three letters of recommendation.

I'll be happy to write you one.

It just may take me a couple days.

Uh, no, I mean, they have to be from like successful artists, so, I was wondering if maybe you knew anybody...

No.

No, I don't know those kind of people.

Is it your birthday or something?

Just going away gifts from some of the kids that I've worked with over the past few years.

Where are you going?

Cutbacks, just one counselor's going to serve the district.

Not me.

Some other guy who's been in the system longer.

I can't believe they...

Got rid of me?

Yeah.

I think it was time to move on anyway.

Well...

I'm sure we'll find each other at graduation, right?

( Phone ringing )

Yeah.

Oh, no, of course, thanks for getting back to me.

Yeah, I do, okay.

No.

No, sorry, I don't know where that is.

How do I get there?

Okay.

"Last thing at night before I fall asleep, love.

"First thing after sunrise, love.

"I was born searching for you

"and when I go into the darkness of my final goodbye, it will be with you, love."

Well, what do you think?

Shouldn't you and dad be writing your vows together?

No, we're going to surprise each other.

He's at Esalen doing some rituals to cleanse his boy energy, and I just know he's gonna be naughty and get Ram Dass to help him write his speech.

I still don't understand why you have to have another commitment ceremony.

Can't you just go to Hawaii?

Leave the rest of us out of it?

It's about understanding that we have a lot of work to do, but we need to do it together.

Honey, do you know what a "soul twin" is?

Soulmates aren't enough?

I have to have a "soul twin" now?

Oh, great, more f*cking propaganda.

Brenda, "soul twin" only means that your father and I made an agreement in another world to meet again in this world and walk through it together.

And so now, we have to stop walking alongside one another, and turn and face each other, and move through the world face to face.

( Brenda ) How will you see where you're going?

You know, all this sarcasm only impedes your prana.

What's with all the new age sh*t?

You and dad dropping acid again?

Not at all, darling.

Something wonderful has happened.

After a lifetime of being blocked, I've finally discovered my spirituality.

Great.

Somebody who's completely not in touch with herself, now has a whole new vocabulary to not to be in touch with herself with.

I don't know why you have to be so cynical.

It's just fear.

Hey, you and Nate have that thing, don't you?

I call it the magnet.

Well?

Baby?

Brenda, I want to give you a little piece of advice.

If you don't have that feeling, get out...

Now.

Of course we have that.

What, you think you're the only ones to have that?

God, the ego!

$149,000.

A what? A hundred what?

$149,000.

And she left it to us?

Yes, she did.

Which I'm gathering is somewhat of a surprise to you?

Uh, yeah, somewhat.

I love when this happens.

It's the fun part of being a trust attorney.

I just have a couple of forms for you to sign, before you can collect your inheritance.

I'll be just a moment.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

$149,000, babe?

That's like $150,000.

All I did was clean her gutters sometimes.

All I did was give you some pasteles to bring to her.

Why would she leave all this to us?

I don't know.

You know, you went and saw her.

She probably counted on you more than you even thought.

Oh, no, no, no, you too.

Okay? This money is for both of us.

Baby, you're the one who made her the pasteles.

If I would've known she was gonna leave us all this money I would have made her some alcapurrias or something.

♪ I'm just there to remind you that I can't feel no pain ♪

♪ why don't you let it be ♪

♪ surround, sister, take care of me ♪

♪ surround sister ♪

♪ 'cause I'm not afraid to fall ♪

♪ no, I'm not afraid to fall ♪

♪ I'm not afraid at all ♪

I read about a bike trip where you tour the countryside of Vietnam.

It's in 2003.

How in 2003 you know where we're going to be?

How you know this?

That's right.

We very well might be dead.

We're all going to die sooner than we'd like, and maybe we should try to do some nice things before we die, like bicycle through Vietnam.

We could save up for it.

It would give us something to look forward to.

( Speaking Russian )

( Laughing )

Two for "m*rder by numbers."

No, I don't like it.

Is Sandra bullock, is a girls' movie.

Oh.

I thought we agreed...

I see "blade two."

You go ahead and see the girls' movie.

Why did we even come together if...

We go to two different movies, we get together later to eat.

One for "blade two" and one for "murdering by the numbers."

Alright, here's your ticket.

Thank you.

Next in line.

I'll meet you right here at 7:40.

Then we'll have a nice supper.

Okay.

In your eyes, I see myself.

My copious imperfections, as well as the tattered shreds of my divinity.

All the joy I've brought you and the pain I've caused.

And still you hold me in your gaze, undaunted by what love demands of us.

You give me strength to see you, only you, now and forever, I'm blessed.

And so, in the name of the four elements, and of the god Lingam and the goddess Yanni, I now pronounce you, Margaret and Bern Chenowith, newly wed.

So, Taylor, what's your favorite part about fourth grade?

Math is fun.

Really?

And recess.

She's good at so much.

Yeah, she sure is.

So, would you say you two have a parenting style?

Well, we've been reading a lot about the whole child theory.

Mm-hmm.

Although we definitely like to mix in a little common sense.

How so?

Well, we certainly believe in setting limits, but we try not to be too rigid.

Well, I think that should just about do it.

Thank you for coming, Mr. Sherman, sir.

I'll need to have a conversation with your supervisors, about your work and so forth.

Well, I'm my own supervisor.

I'm a business owner.

Okay.

And, as my supervisor, I'd like to say that David Fisher is a great person, and great to work with.

My supervisor is Sergeant Potts, northeast division.

I'll phone him tomorrow.

I'll let myself out.

Oh, where'd you get your coffee table?

Restoration hardware.

God, don't you just love that store?

I swear, I could live there.

Okay, bye.

Okay, that man was totally gay.

( Male #1 ) It's an interesting theory.

I can't admit to something I didn't do.

( Male #2 ) Looks like you won't have to.

'Cause Justin's talking in there.

Justin's here?

Mm-hmm.

Nikolai?

( Punches landing )

I'm sorry, please excuse me.

Nikolai, you don't really love me, I know that.

The only reason you're staying with me is because you feel obligated to.

And that's not fair to either one of us.

So, I am breaking up with you, right now, okay?

Well, okay.

( Swords clanking )

I'm so sorry, please excuse me.

( Female ) Christ, lady.

( Male #1 ) Which Lisa?

( Male #2 ) So, you really need to tell me what happened.

Just think of it as a game.

Whoever talks first is the winner.

So, you're next, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess so.

So, wasn't that ceremony unbelievably...

Pitiful? Pathetic?

Or maybe a word that hasn't been invented yet.

Vomitrocious, is that a word?

I was gonna say sweet.

I thought it was sweet.

You're joking.

I kinda bought it.

I mean, look at the two of them.

Who else would have either one of them?

Well, yeah.

And they recognize that.

For better or worse, they accept each other.

For better or for worse?

So, by worse do you mean all the people they randomly f*cked...

Stop!

Please.

They're our parents, Bren.

It can't be good for us to talk about mom and dad like that.

Ah, you're saying I crossed a line?

It's the way we've always been, it's our family ethos, so, I understand why you go there.

But I don't want to talk that way anymore.

I don't think we have to perpetuate the negativity.

God, what happened to you?

Can't we just celebrate?

This is a celebration, right?

Yeah, whoopie.

Your vows were really, really moving.

I hope my ceremony with Brenda can be that heartfelt.

What we have now is based on real honesty.

And forgiveness.

That woman sees me...

Always has.

She knew you were with another woman and she still...

Many, many other women.

Past tense.

Wow.

And she not only like, dealt with the jealousy, but she even wanted to do this with you, renew your vows.

Her idea, so, I sold the house, moved in.

I say if life offers you a new beginning, take it.

Yeah.

Wow.

Thank god, ya know?

I can't believe I fell into that mid-life crisis trap.

God, what a fool a man'll make of himself for some new p*ssy, huh?

To growing up.

She forgave me.

Thank god, ya know?

Thank god, thank god, thank god. Thank god.

Are we even moving?

You forgot to push the button.

"The manner in which she opens her heart

"to a moment of visual truth inspires me.

"I am simply amazed at the depth of...

( together ) Claire Fisher's artistic clairvoyance."

"And, as a lac-arts alumnus, it is with great pleasure that I highly recommend her for your program."

Thank you.

You made up a lot of really cool sh*t.

All true.

I still need to get two more letters.

This guy who works in my trader Joe's had one of his collages in a show at Moca.

I could ask him to write a letter.

Cool, that would be great.

You know, when I went to visit my aunt Sarah I met this painter, Fiona Kleinschmidt.

Yeah.

You've heard of her?

Sure, she's huge.

Yeah. Really?

I think she had sex with my brother, when he was like, 15.

De-virginized him, even.

Use it.

Oh, wow.

This one is really hot.

Yeah.

You're looking at me weird.

What?

You are so...

That I just wanna reach over and...

But then I also want to do nothing, 'cause I want to make sure I know you for as long as I possibly can without f*cking it up, which is like, my special superpower.

That's why I don't wanna touch you, and that's pretty much verbatim, moment for moment what I was thinking when I was looking at you with the weirdness.

I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable.

You'll never be able to see yourself the way other people see you.

The way I see you.

Which is a shame.

Because you are...

I really think you have no idea how beautiful you are.

You have doubles of this one.

You mind if I snag it?

It's fine.

Alright...

I should go.

( Door closing )

He's ready.

Oh.

Mi amor.

( Spanish music playing )

Who the f*ck are you?

How did you convince my mother to leave you her life savings?

I didn't convince your mother of anything, okay?

That was my money she left you.

I sent her $2,500 a month.

My attorneys have counseled me that this is highly suspect.

She left you everything and yet I have no idea who you are.

Maybe you don't know who I am, because you didn't speak to her very often.

I called her every other Sunday, my friend.

Yeah, I know.

Once when we invited her to a barbecue and she said she couldn't come because there was a chance her Andresito might call.

Yeah, a chance.

Hey, listen.

You know, I'm as surprised as you are.

Okay? I am.

As surprised as you are.

You sure everything's okay, ma'am?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Thank you, you people can leave now, okay?

We're fine.

You sure.

They just came in.

Oh, no, you didn't just walk into my house without a search warrant.

Oh, no, I did.

This is bullshit, alright? You can't do this.

Sir, it's the law that we can enter your residence to investigate a domestic abuse call.

Okay, calm down.

We just want to talk to the both of you for a few minutes.

I know the law and I know you can't come into my home without a search warrant.

Is your name on the lease, sir?

Is that any of your business?

You need to back up, sir.

This is my f*cking house!

I'm warning you, sir, you need to back up...

Yeah, well you can warn me all the f*ck you want, 'cause I know what my rights are!

Stop it! Stop it!

Let go of him, my god!

Let go!

Calm down, calm down.

Keith!

Easy, easy, buddy.

Let him go.

Keith, c'mon, c'mon.

It's over, alright?

It's over.

( Female ) What did you do?

She gave them to me when I was a boy.

It's nice that you kept them.

I haven't been to mass in over two years.

These are my two boys.

This is Augusto and this is Julio.

They called her abuelita.

Hey.

Need some help?

Sure, kiddo.

Thank you.

No, thank you, for how you fixed up my father.

Oh, glad I could do it.

I lost my father a few years back.

Really?

Yeah, the worst thing is how it comes up on you.

From nothing.

When my dad d*ed I still had a pair of baseball tickets I'd bought while he was alive.

And, you know, when we all thought of course he'll be around next Sunday.

We never really went to games.

Mr. Fisher, if you ever need any help around here, like cutting the grass or like a part-time job, I'd be more than happy.

I'll keep that in mind.

Bye, Mr. Fisher, thanks.

Okay.

There was a person at both ATMs.

So, I started my own line in between the two ATMs.

But then this woman comes up, she starts her own line behind one of the ATMs.

I said, I already started a line.

So, she goes...

She goes what?

She goes, she goes, um...

Bren, you know him?

Oh, god, I think I've seen him around.

'Sup?

Kyle.

Nate.

Never caught your name.

Oh, Brenda.

Right.

( Coughing )

Whoa.

This is the kind kind.

Both my connections totally dried up.

One of 'em got arrested and the other one I had to blow off, 'cause he was an actor and he kept making me come to his one-man shows if I wanted to buy a bag.

f*ckin' beauteous day, huh?

Warm.

Yeah, I'm actually getting burnt.

I'm gonna go inside.

Ciao.

Good to meet ya.

Good to meet you too, bro.

Good to see you again, Brenda.

Late.

What?

Nate?

What?

Turn it on.

Nate, please...

Turn it on.

Alright... Fiction, my ass!

So, everything you've written in here you've actually done?

No.

I want you to read this sh*t aloud to me and tell me what's true!

It's my writing, it's private!

You can't...

I don't care, you don't get to be private anymore.

Now, goddamnit, tell me the truth!

Give it back to me.

Who the f*ck do you think you are?

Who the f*ck am I?

Who the f*ck are you?

You know who I am, Nate!

I'm the woman that f*cked you in the closet of an airport, a couple hours after I met you.

That's who I was the day we met.

You really f*cked two guys?

You had sex with two women once.

Not when I was engaged to you!

Oh no, you only had sex with one woman when you were engaged to me.

Without a condom, I might add!

Where'd you f*ck 'em? Did you f*ck him here?

Did you f*ck 'em in our bed?

Why didn't you just break up with me?

Jesus Christ.

I don't know, I don't know why I did it!

I don't know, I f*cking wish to god I did!

Did you f*ck your brother?

Oh, right, go there.

Well, why not go there, did you?

Did you f*ck the rabbi? I know you wanted to.

No!

I'll bet it was because she wouldn't.

And just for the record?

You did it in Seattle, before I ever...

I was scared to death, I just had a f*cking seizure!

Another thing you wouldn't have told me about if you hadn't been forced to.

Well, you know what? Maybe I felt safe with her.

Which, frankly, is something I have never felt with you.

Oh, you felt safe with her?

Yeah.

Yeah, because you were leaving the next day.

Nate, you created a human being!

There's gonna be another person on this planet now, a person who might have a totally miserable f*cking life and curse the f*cking day she was born, because you are walking out on her the same way that you're gonna walk out on me!

Life doesn't have to be miserable just because you are!

Oh, yeah, I know, weird sh*t happened to you, but you know what, it happened to all of us, and I'm sick to death of you using it as an excuse to act like some f*cking c**t from hell!

Wow.

How long have you hated me like this, Nate?

Oh, I don't need to hate you.

You do a pretty damn good job of hating yourself.

You picked me, you know!

Yeah, well...

Only because I had no idea how f*cked up you really are.

That's bullshit, you knew and you loved it, because it made you feel good about yourself.

Oh god, you are so full of sh*t.

You just can't see it.

Because you're so in love with the idea of Nate, the good guy, Nate, the hero, Nate, the f*cking Saint with the f*cking great haircut, the truth is you would run from real love if it ever came at you...

Real love, what the f*ck do you know about real love?

With the sh*t, and the neediness, and the ugliness, and the responsibility.

You would f*cking run, and you know it!

The only reason you stayed with me is because I was never really here!

You know what, take your ugly f*cking ring.

Don't you throw that ring at me.

That's such a f*cking cliche, I'll f*cking barf.

There, barf.

( Phone ringing )

Hello?

( Lisa ) Is Nate there?

I'm afraid he's not.

Is this Mrs. Fisher?

Yes, it is.

Hi, this is Lisa, Lisa Kimmel from Seattle.

Why, hello, dear.

I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to speak to you when Mr. Fisher d*ed.

You were very much in my thoughts.

Aren't you sweet.

What a surprise to hear from you.

How is everything in Seattle?

Nate hasn't told you what's going on?

No, he hasn't told me anything.

No one ever tells me anything.

It's part of being old.

Yeah, well, I'm in L.A. now.

And you're a grandmother.

No, dear, I'm afraid I'm not.

You are, I just had a baby.

Nate's baby.

It's a girl.

She was a couple of weeks early.

I named her Maya.

I told ya I'd be here everyday, didn't I?

Aaron?

( Phone ringing )

Hey.

You are never going to believe this.

I just got a phone call from Stan.

Kroehner is filing for chapter 11.

And there's a federal investigation underway.

Isn't that great?

Yeah, that's great.

I guess the good guys actually do win sometimes, huh?

Hold on, I got another call coming in.

Hey, baby.

Hey, listen.

I'm not gonna be home for a while.

You want me to hold dinner?

No, no, you and Taylor go ahead and eat.

Keith, what's wrong?

I'll tell you about it later when I get home.