02x03 - Save The Max

[bunniefuu]

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Hey, Screech, I thought I knew
every hiding place in this school.

How did you find it?

A bully dumped me down
the garbage chute.

Some day I'm gonna
get even with that girl.

Wow! Look at these posters.
Hey, we got The Rolling Stones.

Hey, Jimi Hendrix.

Who are the three guys
with Paul McCartney?

That's The Beatles, you idiot.

Paul never would've made it

if he would've stuck
with those wimps.

I wonder what's under here.

Wow, look at this!

"KKTY-FM, home of Tiger Radio"?

Screech, Bayside
has a radio station.

Wow!!

Look at that.

Hey!

Hey there, it's time
to rock and roll

with your main music man
Zack Morris,

here on KKTY, Bayside!

Cool!

I wonder if this thing
still works.

Well, there's only one way
to find out.

Woman:
♪ KKTY, Bayside! ♪

I think it works.

Mr. Belding, is it true that
Bayside had a radio station?

Absolutely. KKTY was the voice
of Bayside in the '60s.

It was one smoking
music machine.

Well, who ran it, sir?

The hippest, hottest,
most rad DJ ever.

Oh, wow.
Hey, wasn't that a happening tune?

I'm The Big Bopper,

and you beautiful people
are groovin' to KKTY,

the most out of sight station
in the nation. Can you dig it?

Woman:
♪ KKTY, Tigers! ♪

- Now groove to this groove.
- (music plays)

Man: Richard Belding,
this is the principal.

Report to my office immediately.

Man, what does
that jerk want now?

- You were The Big Bopper?
- I was The Master Blaster!

The Boss.

I thought Springsteen
was The Boss.

Nah, he stole it from me.

Sir, we'd like to put
KKTY back on the air.

- What?!
- We... would... like... to --

I heard you!
The answer is no.

- Why not?
- It's just not a good idea.

Trust me on this one.

But, Mr. Belding, just think
how it'd help school spirit.

It'd give us something
to listen to besides teachers.

And you could give us the benefit
of your vast knowledge of, um...

"radioisms."
Ahem.

"Radioisms"?

Hey, I don't see you sucking up.

Sir, let us follow
in your footsteps

and learn from The Big Bopper.

- Well...
- All: Bopper, Bopper, Bopper...

All right, all right, all right...
but on one condition.

I have the final say
about what goes out on the air. Huh?

All right.
Now, you were saying?

- Bopper, Bopper...
- All: Bopper, Bopper, Bopper...

Okay, troops,
everyone's got their assignments.

It looks like Tiger Radio
is ready to roar!

No, wait, not so fast, Preppie.

You've given everyone
a job but me.

- What do you want to do?
- Sports.

What are you gonna do,
wrestle on the radio?

- No, I want to be a sportscaster.
- Well, I didn't know that.

Sure. When I watch the games on TV,
I turn down the sound,

and do the play-by-play.

All right, Slater.
If you want it, hey, you got it.

All right. Great.

I'm gonna be the most
talked about guy on Tiger Radio.

You'll see, man.

Great trick, Max,
you shrunk the food.

- Now can we have our real orders?
- Sorry, these are your real orders.

My costs have gone sky high,
and I had to cutback.

- Sorry, Max, I didn't know.
- That's terrible.

Thanks for understanding.

Hey, good luck
with the radio station.

- I'm sure you'll all be great.
- Zack: Thanks, Max.

Thanks.

I haven't seen Max
that depressed since the time

he made his dog disappear,
and forgot how to bring Fluffy back.

I know. I wonder whatever
happened to that dog?

What?

Goo-ood morning, Bayside,

hey and all you kids cutting school
in the Palisades and at the beach,

this is Wolfman Zack...

(howling)

Hey, it's Bayside's freshest,
hottest, hippest new station,

KKTY-FM, Tiger Radio!

(roars)

Bad food hits Bayside,
students hit bathrooms.

This is Jessie Spano
for KKTY News.

I caught up with Mr. Belding
running out of the cafeteria today,

and he assured me that green meat
would no longer be served.

Hi, this is Lisa,
your Galloping Gossip,

with everything you want to know
that's none of your business.

Flash! Debbie DeMarco's new curves
came with Debbie's new sweater.

Hello, this is Kelly Desire.

It's evening, the candles are lit
and you're with the one you love.

All that's missing
is that special romantic song.

(heavy metal music plays)

Thunder and lighting raged outside
the old Victorian house.

There was a scream-- (screams)

Evelyn's heart pounded...

as she slowly opened
the bedroom door.

(creaking sound)

She saw an axe
and recognized the face of--

That's all
the time we have today.

Tune in tomorrow for another
exciting installment of--

Screech's Mystery Theatre.

And now, look alive,
sports fans,

'cause on deck it's Tiger Radio's
sportiest reporter,

AC Slater.

(up-tempo music playing)

(music ends)

Hey, thanks, Wolfman.

Okay, first things first.

Let's check out
the old scoreboard, huh?

I mean, hey, gimme a break,
it's not that old, right?

(horn honks)

Anyway, in local
high school action it was--

it was, Bayside 5, Valley 4.

I guess that means we won,
right math majors?

(honking)

This is AC Slater.

And just remember, fans,
in the airport of life,

sports is just the baggage.

- Think about it.
- (honks)

(up-tempo music plays)

- All right.
- (pop music plays)

So what do you think?

We're thinking about it.

See, Preppie.
I told you I was good.

Hey, guys, I think I know
what would help Slater.

- Girls: What?
- A muzzle.

Do you think we should be honest
and tell him he stinks?

How can we without
hurting his feelings?

Why don't we just wave
a skunk in front of him?

You know, Screech,
for once you have a good idea.

We can't do that.
This is Slater's dream.

Maybe we're being overcritical

because we expected him
to be better.

I hope you're right.

I bet the average listener
thinks he's just fine.

Excuse me, what do you guys
think of Tiger Radio?

- Radical!
- Really cool!

The best, man!

And, what do you think of our
sports reporter, AC Slater?

- Awful!
- The worst!

Someone should wave
a skunk in front of him.

See?

That's it.
We've got to get rid of Slater.

- Why do we have to get rid of him?
- Yeah, why don't we help him?

Hey, good idea.
We'll staple his lips.

And so, Slater, the less you say,
the more impact you'll have.

- You really think so?
- Hey, I wrote the copy for you.

I mean, you're our top draw.

We want to leave them
wanting more.

I don't know.
I'm not so sure, Preppie.

Well, according
to our latest survey,

98% of our listeners
want it short, fast and often.

Yeah? What do
the other 2% want?

A date with Paula Abdul.

Hey, with sizzling
copy like this,

you're headed for
the Radio Hall of Fame.

"This is AC Slater.

Today's scores
are 3-0, 6-1, 10-2.

Thank you."

That's it?

Hey, it's sharp, it's snappy,
it's bold.

- Slater, it's you!
- Yeah.

When did you say I'll be on?

Every chance we get.

You'd be looking at
twice the airtime!

Now that I like.

10-2.

10-2. 2-10.

All right.

Do you think we're doing
the right thing?

Hey, is Belding balding?

Zack, Zack.

I was researching a news story,

and I found out that the Bayside
School District owns The Max!

- You're kidding.
- No.

And if Max doesn't come up with
$10,000 in back rent by next week,

our favorite hangout
will be turned into a parking lot!

- We can't let this happen.
- But what can we do?

I think it's time we used
the power of the airwaves.

- Let's do it.
- All right.

Zack: All right.

Here we go.
Ready, Jessie?

This is Jessie Spano
with a Tiger Radio news flash.

It looks like the end
of a student tradition

if the greedy, deceitful,
irresponsible

Bayside School Board
has its way.

"Greedy"?! "Deceitful"?!

Don't forget "irresponsible."

No, you guys are irresponsible!

We have an obligation
to report the truth.

Truth?
You and Pinocchio Morris?

The truth is, that every member
of the school board has called

threatening to have me fired.
Is that what you want?

Well...

But what about The Max?

Should we just sit back
and watch it be demolished?

Better than my career.

Mr. Belding, The Max
is very important to us.

- Can't you help?
- I wish I could,

but the school board
has made their decision,

and I am not going
to stick my neck out

over this radio station again.

Again?

Now drop the protest,
and that's final.

Excuse me, but I have
to go assure the school board

that this matter is closed.

Hold on, Jessie.

There's something
he's not telling us.

- What do you think it is?
- I don't know.

You're the investigative reporter.
See what you can dig up.

- What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna play principal.

This is Mr. Belding.
School's out!

- The school paper just reviewed us.
- What did they say?

I don't know.
I'm too nervous to look.

- What if he didn't like my outfit?
- We're on the radio, remember?

He can't see us.

Hey, look at this.

"Tiger Radio really cooks when
Wolfman Zack is on the prowl."

"Jessie Spano has a nose for news,
and I smell a winner!"

"Kelly Desire's voice could heat
your Jacuzzi. The girl is H-O-T."

"Lisa's Galloping Gossip
is off to a fast start.

She's funny, charming,
and a great dresser."

See?

This guy really liked us.

Most of us.

"AC Slater stinks."

"Someone should wave
a skunk in front of him"?

Poor Slater.

Hey, guys, what's up?

- What are you doing?
- We're scratching our backs.

Yeah, you know there's
an itch going through the school.

What?

Hey, guys, the station
just got reviewed!

Really?
Hey, what'd he say about me?

You stink!

Let me see that.

"AC Slater is boring, dull,

and should become a mime."

Hey, can you believe this guy?
He thinks I'm no good.

(Screech whistles)

So that's why
you cut back my time.

Look, Slater, we just didn't want
to hurt your feelings.

I'd rather get the truth
from my friends

than read it
in some stupid newspaper.

I quit.

Boy:
This weekend

is the Bayside/Valley
chess championship.

After last year's
bench-clearing brawl,

both teams have decided
to wear helmets and protective gear

around thumb and forefinger.

Hey, hey, take it away.
Get their king and fight!

This is Ronald Geekman
reminding you that,

"You don't have
to sweat to be a sport."

(up-tempo music plays)

I've been replaced by a nerd.

And you know what
the worst part is?

He's better than me.

I thought you were okay, Slater.

Come on, Max, I was awful.

The important thing
is that you tried.

You know what
really bugs me about all this?

My friends let me down.

No, Slater.
You let yourself down.

You quit.

If you want something bad enough,
find a way to make it happen.

- Do you really think so?
- Well, I believe in you, kid.

Zack, Zack, I found
what you're looking for.

A peep hole
in the girls locker room?

No. I found
what Belding was hiding.

Look what's in this old
school newspaper from 1968.

"D.J. Belding
Moons School Board"?

"Picture on page three and four"?

Let's see this.

Whoa, now that's a side
of him I've never seen.

Apparently Mr. Belding
was the Zack Morris of the '60s.

- (knocking on door)
- Come in.

(chuckles)

Well, Morris,
what did you do this time?

Been doing a little reading, sir.

You know, pages three and four
are quite interesting.

Where'd you get that?

"Hippie Richie Belding was
ordered to drop his on-air protest

of the school ban
on jeans and long hair.

Belding dropped
his bellbottoms instead.

The board responded
by dropping station KKTY."

Okay, Morris, what do you want?

I want you to convince
the school board

not to close down The Max.

Oh, I see.
And if I don't, what,

you're gonna show the student body
my student body?

Zack, if that picture gets out,
it could ruin me.

Is that what you want?

No, I just want you to remember
what it was like to be a kid,

when you cared as much
about jeans and long hair

as we do about The Max.

Zack, that was a different time.
They are not the same.

No, sir, you're the one
who's not the same.

I guess you forget what's
more important when you get old.

You're not the guy
I'm looking for.

Here's the guy I need.

Zack Morris!

What?

Help me find the old me?

Welcome back, Bopper.

(dance music playing)

Woman:
♪ KKTY, Bayside! ♪

Welcome to the KKTY
Radiothon broadcast from The Max

to save The Max!

We've got music, we've got dancing.
Now all we need is you

and $10,000 by noon tomorrow!

Now I'd like to introduce
the man whose idea this was,

The Big Bopper, Richie Belding!

(cheering)

Thanks, Wolfman Zack.

You know, as KKTY's
first living legend,

I'd like to kick this off the way
I used to kick off my old show.

It's time for... Bel-ba-ba-bel,
da-ding, da-ding, ding,

Bel-ba-ba-bel,
da-ding, dong, ding, Belding!

Thank you, Bopper.

And now, for all the dirt

"The National Enquirer"
hasn't found out yet,

here's Lisa,
our Galloping Gossip!

Hey, dudes, let's dish!

Okay, Bobby Tucker thinks he's
going steady with Cindy Wasserman.

But what Bobby doesn't know
is that Cindy has been seen

two nights this week
with someone else.

Who?

Hey, if you want to know the trash,
you gotta pay the cash!

- (phone rings)
- Zack: All right!

Look who just dropped in.

It's the star
of "Married With Children,"

my favorite TV lowlife Al Bundy.

Give me this.

It's an honor to be here
to help you guys...

save this dump.

It's not a dump, Al,
it's a very nice place.

What do I know about taste?
I married Peg.

Hey...

All right.

Well, Jessie,
what's our total so far?

The amount that people have
pledged and donated is...

- $2,853.00.
- All right.

Keep those pledges coming.
Let's keep them coming.

Here, this is for you.

Hello?

- Hey, buddy.
- I want to pledge my savings.

Put me down for $100.

Hey, thanks, Slater.

I'm sorry about what happened.

Why don't you come down?
We can use your help.

Hey, you don't need me.
I'll just ruin everything.

Well, Jessie, add another $100.

What's our total so far?

$8,134.00!

We are doing great, and we have
the whole night ahead of us!

- All right!
- (crowd cheering)

Here's one of my favorite songs

from late, great 1968!

(rock music plays)

Mr. Belding,
what are we gonna do?

The phones stopped
ringing hours ago

and everybody's passed out.

Don't worry, Wolfman,
the Big Bopper can go all night.

Just watch me bring it home.

(hoarsely) We desperately need
your support to keep us going.

We only need 1,600 more--

no, 1,700 more.

Oh, we just need more money now.

- (Music plays)
- ♪ Whoa, whoa, I need your money ♪

♪ I need your love ♪

♪ I need you, honey,
when a push comes to shove ♪

- ♪ I need... ♪
- Hey, Preppie, Preppie, wake up.

Here's my $100,

and an extra $25 from my dad.

Thanks, Slater,
but we're still short,

and I can't talk anymore.

I don't think The Max
is gonna make it.

We'll see about that.
Give me this mic!

All right, everybody, listen up.

I'm AC Slater,
and I've got something to say.

Zack: Quiet down.

- Quiet!
- Shh, Shh, Shh...

Now look, I used
to move around a lot.

I never had a place I could
actually call home

until I came to Bayside.

Now, for the first time,

I have real friends,

and a cool place to hang out.

It's kind of like a second home.

Whenever I'm bummed,
there's always someone here to help.

Now I know it's late,
and everyone's tired,

and the easy thing to do
is to quit, right?

But, hey, quitting never works.

Look, guys, we can't give up.

We gotta save this place.

So get off your tails
and make a donation.

Let's keep The Max alive!

All right, hey, hey, hey,
don't get so excited yet.

Let's see if anyone calls.

Come on, ring.

(phone rings)

(phones ringing)

(all cheering)

(instrumental theme music plays)