03x08 - My Boyfriends Back

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Saved by the Bell". Aired: August 20, 1989 to May 22, 1993.*
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Series follows a group of high school friends and their principal at the fictional Bayside High School in LA.
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03x08 - My Boyfriends Back

Post by bunniefuu »

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low in my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Okay, what are we doing?

- Just relax and follow me.
- Mm-hmm.

Why did you drag me back to the club
in the middle of the night?

The deal was, you pay for the movie,
I pay for the snack.

I have been called a cheap date before,
but this is ridiculous.

Being the boss's daughter
does have its advantages.

I know where the chef
hides all the good stuff.

I'm looking at the good stuff.

- Stacy?
- Yes, Zack?

- I want you to know that I love--
- Yes?

I love the way you butter bread.

This is margarine,
but thanks anyway.

If someone told me we'd end up together
I would have laughed in their face.

I know, I thought you were
an uptight, spoiled Eastern snob,

- and those were your good qualities.
- Oh yeah?

I thought you were just a lazy,
gnarly, scheming California dude.

I'm glad I was wrong.
How about you?

Oh, I was right...

dude, but I like you anyway.

Well, awesome.

I like you too.

A lot.

Stacy, what's this big important
announcement your father wants to make?

- I promised not to tell.
- Maybe he's giving us all raises.

Kelly, are you taking
stupid vitamins again?

We're lucky he pays us
in American money.

Whoa!
Check it out!

Mr. Carosi has turned cool overnight.
Hey, dude, give me five.

Quit begging for tips, blondie.

Listen up, this is an ATV rider.
Like it?

Wow, a KLF300-B3,

with a two-valve four-stroke engine
and an a*t*matic clutch.

- What's that for?
- I'm not sure. But it sounds sexist.

The club has rented
several of these babies

for the Annual Charity ATV Race
next week.

How can you race TVs?
They don't have wheels.

No, simplehead, an ATV race.
They come with wheels.

Every participant will have to find
a club member to sponsor them.

Everyone back to work.
Time for me to peel out.

(screaming)

- (loud crash)
- Dad!

- Are you hurt?
- I'll be fine.

Some t*rror1st must have
put this in reverse.

Mr. Carosi, it looks like you jammed
the throttle, bent the clutch--

- Slater, that gives me an idea.
- What?

You fix it.

See you guys later.

"See you later."

Whoa, Preppie,
you've been working overtime.

- Slater, just chill out, all right?
- Okay, I'm sorry.

Didn't realize it was so serious
between you and Stacy.

Yeah, I didn't think so either
until our last date.

Now I've come down
with a major case of the big L.

Oh no, this is horrible.

My best friend has the big L.
What's the big L?

Love, stupid.

I just wish I could tell Stacy.
I don't know how to though.

- Say it fast and duck.
- Why duck?

Because every time I tell a girl
I love her, she clobbers me.

Preppie, girls like guys to tell them
how beautiful their eyes are,

how soft their hair is, you know,
romantic junk like that.

- I know that.
- You can't tell them at a video arcade

while you're scarfing down chili dogs.
Go someplace romantic.

Then it's smooth sailing after that.

You know, that's a good idea.

Tonight I'll take Stacy
to Paradise Cove.

I'll tell her right there.

Mr. and Mrs. Osgood, I found Jill
playing a little too close to the water.

So I thought I'd bring her back
so you can keep an eye on her.

Kelly, thank you.
You're the best.

If there's anything we can do
to show our appreciation...

You can sponsor me
in the ATV Charity Race.

Absolutely. Nelson,
write Kelly a check for the charity.

This gives me an idea.

- Come here, come here.
- Let go.

Let go, let go, let go.

I found your kid. You can thank me
by sponsoring me in the ATV race.

Go ahead and write out
a big fat check, I'll wait.

He's not our kid, you goof.

And even if he were,
we wouldn't sponsor you.

Let go of me, dweeb,
I'm not lost.

Come here!

- Ah.
- Hi, Screech.

What are you doing,
the Mexican dork dance?

- No, that little kid just kicked me.
- What kid?

Ow!

Oh, he's kind of cute.

Lisa, how would your family feel
about sponsoring me in the ATV race?

Honey, my family wouldn't
sponsor you for medical research.

But you're right,
we should sponsor someone.

Zack: Hi, guys.

- Zack, have you found a sponsor?
- No, not yet.

Good, because the Turtle family
wants the pleasure.

- Thanks, Lisa.
- Welcome. See you.

Hi, Stacy. We have to talk,
it's really important.

Oh, no, did my father
fire you again?

No, no, this is serious. Let's talk
tonight at Paradise Cove, okay?

Paradise Cove? Sure.

- Ooh.
- Got you, dork.

From now on, leave my brother alone
or you'll have to answer to me.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Johnson, we do not
give refunds for cloudy days.

Hey, Jessie, I heard
you signed up for the race.

That could be dangerous.

Listen, Porky,

women are just as qualified
as men to race those ATM...

those AT&T...

- those-- those things.
- They're called ATVs.

And I'm not talking about women,
I'm talking about you.

It does not take
a male brain to drive one.

I watched you
take your driver's test

and the instructor
sat in the back seat praying.

You're so funny, pardon me
if I don't die laughing.

Are you two guys fighting again?

Unison:
It's what we do best.

Guess who, Stace?

- Craig!
- Surprise.

You didn't think I was gonna let
an entire summer go by

without seeing my girl?

- Everyone, this is Craig Strand.
- Hello, guys.

Girls: Hi.

Craig is Stacy's steady,
he's a sophomore at Yale.

And girls, you have
my permission to drool.

Boy, Zack's in real trouble.

- That guy is better looking, taller--
- Quiet.

Craig is my choice for the ATV race,
I'll be sponsoring him.

Thank you, sir. It will be an honor
to wear the Carosi colors.

Craig, let's go to my office and talk.
Tell me about school,

the tennis team, your rich father--
I mean your mother and father.

Nice meeting all of you.
See you at the race.

- Slater: See you.
- Girls: Bye.

Son, I'm glad you're here.
I'm sure Stacy's missed you.

I don't think she's had
any real friends out here.

Then you'll be happy to know, sir,
that I plan on asking her

- to wear my fraternity pin.
- Wear your pin? That's wonderful.

Imagine, my little girl pinned.

She's all I've been thinking about.

I only wish my fraternity brothers
could be here

- to give her the rightful ceremony.
- Say no more, son,

I'll arrange everything.
We'll make it a surprise.

- Deal?
- Deal.

Now that you're practically
in the family,

does your father have
any good stock tips?

Why do we have to
eat at the club?

We're here, I'm hungry
and I know the owner.

Let's go somewhere else, Craig,
anywhere else.

I know a great little taco stand
in Mexico.

- Yeah, right.
- Please.

Yikes!

Here, free rolls,
just wipe them off.

Zack, ooh, you look tired.
Here, have a seat.

No, go home,
I'll take your tables.

I feel fine.

No, Zack, I mean please,
please give me your tables.

I need the money.
My cat needs braces.

Screech, get away.

- Stop!
- What is it now?

Zack, you're fired.
Get out!

Take the back door.

Have you been
eating chocolates again?

Zack, don't go over there,
Stacy's there with her boyfriend.

Oops.

What? What boyfriend?

- Hi.
- Zack, hi.

Yes, hello, we'd like to order...
the avocado salad looks good,

- we'll have that.
- Stacy...

aren't you gonna introduce me?

Introduce you?
To who?

Come on, Stace.
Don't be shy with the waiter.

Hi, I'm Craig Strand,
Stacy's boyfriend from Boston.

Boyfriend... that's it,
I'm out of here.

Zack, wait.

(doorbell rings)

(doorbell rings again)

Jessie, put the bat down.

No, if that's a robber,
this bat's gonna scare him away.

You're not gonna need the bat, honey,
just nag him to death

like you do everyone else.

- (rings)
- How's my hair?

Really pretty, I just like it up.

- Would someone answer the door?
- All right. Who's there?

It's me, Zack.

Hi. What are you guys doing up?

Answering the door.
What else do people do at midnight?

I was just in the neighborhood,
thought I'd stop by.

Does this visit have
anything to do with Stacy?

Stacy? Stacy who?

Yep, this is gonna be
a long night.

Somebody better
put the coffee on.

Does anyone know how to do that?

Forget the coffee, I'm in pain.

I just can't believe Stacy
didn't tell me she had a boyfriend.

Zack, I am so sorry.

I don't know what to say.

I-- I--

Craig showing up
was a total surprise

and now that she likes you,
she's in a bind.

- Yeah, in a bind.
- But we know she likes you much more.

Much, much more.

Give her time, I'm sure
she'll get it under control.


Yeah, yeah, under control.

- You really think so?
- Yes, I do.

Maybe you're right. I'll talk
to her tomorrow. Thanks, Jessie.

Kelly:
You're welcome.

- Good night.
- Lisa: See you.

Okay, bedtime. If I don't get
at least eight hours sleep,

you don't want to know me
tomorrow, honey.

Everyone understand
what they're supposed to do?

What's this ceremony all about?

You'll see when it happens.
One last thing, Zack,

I want you to hold this box.
When I say, "Give me the box,"

give me the box, got it?

Oo-ooh tough.
Maybe I should write that down.

What's going on, Craig?
Why did we have to come here again?

You've been so distracted
ever since I arrived

that I thought this ceremony
might cheer you up.

What ceremony?
Can you excuse me?

- Sweetheart, you look beautiful.
- Thanks, but I have to talk to Zack.

He can wait, come with me.

Will someone tell me
what's going on?

You are gonna be so happy,
Stacy, trust me.

I know what's best for my girl.

Kelly.

- Come in.
- Let the ceremony begin.

We are gathered here tonight
to celebrate something special.

- Light the candle.
- Sure-- got a match.

Here.

Stacy, this candle symbolizes--

(sneezes)

I'll start again.
Stacy this candle symbolizes

my love for you..

- Not now.
- Sorry, it just felt right.

Now it is time to pass that flame
on to another man

whose love for you
burns in a different way.

- What am I trying to say?
- That's what we want to know.

Quiet. Zack, the box.

- The box, the box!
- Oh, sorry, sorry.

- Jeez.
- I got it, I got it.

- I got it.
- I got it.

Stacy, you are
so fair and beautiful,

and so deep in love am I--

Give me that!

--that I will love you still, my dear,

until the deepest sea goes dry.

Oh gosh, this is all
so beautiful.

I want you to wear
my fraternity pin.

Now you're my girl forever.

Hey, Zack, you okay?

No, I'm not.

I can't believe Stacy
dumped me for that frat jerk.

Maybe I can help you out there, pal.
Do what I do with Lisa,

date Stacy in your mind
and you can save a lot of money.

Hey there, Lisa, I'll pick you up
at 8:00 for the movies tonight.

Is he dating me
in his mind again?

- Zack, are you all right?
- What do you think?

- Where are you going?
- I'm quitting.

I'm not hanging around to watch Stacy
and Craig live happily ever after.

But the race is tomorrow.

The Zack Morris I know
is not a quitter.

Yeah, she's right. Don't let that jerk
make you look like a total loser.

Zack, you've gotta show Stacy
what kind of guy she's missing.

Don't give up.

Zack!

Where have you been?
I tried calling all night.

Well, I thought you were
out celebrating.

- We need to talk.
- (revving engine)

Congratulations
on getting pinned.

I hope you and Craig
are very happy together.

Hey kid, you might as well
give up now,

I'll take my chances.

By the way, congratulations,
you got a great girlfriend.

Stacy, I talked to your father
about you taking tomorrow off

so we could be alone.
I've got the whole day planned.

I can't,
I have to work tomorrow.

Come on, your job's
not that important.

But it's important to me, Craig.

All ATVs to the start line.
The race is about to begin.

Gotta go.
Wait for me right here.

(crowd clapping)

Carosi: Ladies and gentlemen,
meet our drivers.

Jessie Spano...

AC Slater...

Zack Morris...

Craig Strand!

And Kelly Kapowski.

Drivers, get ready...

get set...

- (g*nsh*t)
- Go!

(crowd clapping, cheering)

Lisa: Oh no,
Jessie's out of control.

(muffled)
Help!

One lap to go!

Lisa: Zack's in the lead!
Come on, Zack!

Yes! Yes!

And the winner is Craig Strand!

Hey, that's not fair!

Yes, oh boy, all right!
Woo!

- Come on, let's celebrate.
- What you did to Zack was unfair.

So what? It's not illegal.
Come on, let's go! Let's party!

Well, Slater,
I guess you were right.

Nah, don't feel so bad.

You did better here
than on your driving test.

I'm gonna k*ll you.

Are you all right, Zack?
I saw what Craig did.

You win some, you lose some.
It's just a game.

No big deal.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- I have something to tell you--
- No wait, no wait, me first.

I should have said this way before,

but I was embarrassed
or afraid, I'm not sure.

Stacy, no matter how
you feel about me--

- I love you. Okay, bye, have a good--
- I love you too, Zack.

no-- just-- I hope you're
very happy with Craig.

What?

I said, I love you too.

The more I try to understand girls,
the less I understand girls.

I just put Craig
on a plane back to Boston,

with his fraternity pin.

I hope he sits on it.

He tried running my life
and that's not what I want.

What do you want?

I want a boyfriend who listens,

who's kind...

who's funny
and who likes me for me,

and isn't threatened
by uptight Eastern snobs.

I think, this is where we kiss.

(instrumental
theme music playing)
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