03x10 - Boss Lady

[bunniefuu]

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low in my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

It's 9:00.
Where's Carosi?

Right here!

Line up, you second-rate
excuses for a summer staff!

Line up! Line up!

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

- Hey, boss, how about a raise?
- All: Yeah!

Ah, shut up! I'm too cheap
to give myself a raise!

Straighten up.
Yeah, that's better.

Screech, stop making
those goofy faces

or I'll sell you as shark bait!

- That's not a bad idea.
- Mr. Cannoli!

- Carosi!
- Right.

I was just trying to loosen up
the employees, sir.

What he means is,
a happy staff is a snappy staff!

Get in line.

All right, staff, I'll be away
all day on business.

Stacy will be in charge
in my absence.

I expect you to show her
the same respect you show me.

Why?
We like Stacy.

We have a full day's
activities scheduled,

plus the Thornhills'
50th wedding anniversary tonight.

Now let's get to work!

Stacy, keep your eye
on this character.

Don't worry, Daddy. I'll give him
a lot of close, personal attention.

(chattering)

Lisa, you're tying up
the main line.

Look, Carosi's gone,
you can't get in trouble.

So why don't you be a good
Mother Superior and bug off?

Slater, go for a long one.

(glass shatters)

From whose check do I deduct
the cost of that window?

- Slater's, he should've had it!
- Look, everyone,

I know when the cat's away,
the mice will play.

But we've still got
a club to run. Get it?

Yeah, all right.

Ms. Turtle, we'll be billing that call
to your parents' cabana.

How dare you call me collect?!

Ms. Carosi?

I'm ready for my close,
personal attention.

Not during working hours.

- Hello, Stacy.
- Hi, Mr. Richter.

- Know who this is?
- Your wife?

My, she's looking
younger every day!

No, that's my daughter, Jenny...
before she discovered boys.

I'd like you to hang it up in the dining
room for her Sweet 16 party tonight.

Sweet 16 party tonight?

One moment, please.

Stacy, I thought the Thornhills'
50th anniversary was tonight.

So did I!

Oh no!
Daddy double-booked the room!

Stay cool.
Mr. Richter's not a bad guy.

Maybe you can ask him
to switch to tomorrow.

I'll try.

Mr. Richter,
I have a proposal for you.

Too late! Mrs. Richter's
already snatched me up!

Mr. Richter, you are
our funniest member!

Now, I know you are primed
for the party tonight--

Primed? I'm flying in people
from all over the world!

I've worn a hole in my Visa card.
So, what's your proposal?

Proposal?

I propose we hang this picture
right over the head table.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

- I'm dead.
- Maybe not. Maybe...

Got it! Maybe we can
move the other party.

Mr. Thornhill, I'm worried that your
party is going to be very expensive.

Don't mention money.
Herbert doesn't have his heart medicine.

See, if you have your party
tomorrow night,

you could take advantage

of our Fourth Sunday
of the Summer Sale!

- 10% off!
- Who cares?

For 50 years I've been
watching every penny,

for once, I'm gonna splurge!

Besides, our anniversary
is today.

Yeah, but what's one more day?

Son, at my age,
one day could be everything.

I could kick off tomorrow
during my tango lesson!

- Now I'm really up a creek.
- Oh no, you're not.

We'll have to convince
Mr. Richter to move.

But he's got relatives flying in
and everything.

Not the date.
The location.

- (beeping)
- Excuse me!

- Excuse me, please.
- Screech, what is that thing?

A metal detector. I bet there's a lot
of buried treasures on this beach.

I could be a rich man.

Yeah, you can also be an idiot.

Well, no pieces of eight for you!

Whatever a piece of eight is.

(steady beeping)

(beeping accelerates)

(frantic beeps)

(snoring)

(steady beeping)

Will you stop the beep, creep?!

This is a metal detector, Lisa.

I'm looking for treasure.
There must be some here.

Screech, I'm wearing jewelry
and I'm sitting in a metal chair.

It's coming from underneath you.

Look, a gold coin!

It's probably filled
with chocolate.

No, Lisa,
this is the real thing.

Screech, what are you doing?

You can't have it! It's mine.
Go away! Go away!

I don't want my beach
filled with holes.

Okay, Kelly, sure.

Don't let her fool you, Lisa.
She's trying to horn in on our claim.

Here, use this coin to start
our children's college fund.

I'm off to find the rest
of our fortune.

Okay, go ahead.
I'm right behind you.

- Hello, Mr. Richter.
- Stacy.

Hi, Jenny. As soon
as the crowd clears out,

we'll start setting up
for the Sweet 16 party.

- Hi, Jenny.
- (gasps)

A Sweet 16 party indoors--

sounds like
your parents' idea to me.

Jenny, what you want
is moonlight,

stars.

- Romance.
- (whimpers)

Daddy, I want my party
outside on the beach.

But all the arrangements
have been made.

You know, because you're
such valued club members,

I think we could move
the party outdoors.

- If that's what Jenny really wants.
- Oh I want! I want! I want!

You got! You got!
Just stop whining!

That's why we didn't invite
your mother.

- Hey, you were great!
- So were you!

It'll take some work, but now
we can pull off both parties at once.

- Our problems are over.
- (chef complaining in Spanish)

Roberto-- all right,
I'll tell her, okay?

I'll tell her.

Stacy, Roberto wants me to speak
to you on behalf of the kitchen staff.

They want to know when they'll get
the raise your father promised them.

Tell him I don't know
anything about it.

Okay.

Roberto.

(conversing in Spanish)

Okay.
He says they're fed up.

If they don't get a raise today,
they go bowling!

Ay, ay, ay. No bowling!
Huelga-- we strike.

Ay, ay, ay.

Dee-les stupido gringos
your problem-as.

- Tu español es algo confuso.
- Gracias.

He says the entire staff
is tired of being exploited.

Jessie, all he said was
you speak lousy Spanish.

Look, I promise to take this up
with my father as soon as he gets back.

You promise?
Why should any oppressed people

have faith in the promise
of a heartless ruling class?

- Oh Jessie, come off it!
- Zack, you wouldn't understand.

- You live in a world of privilege.
- Yeah, and you live next door to me.

That's beside the point.
These people want answers now!

No, Slater.

Will Roberto give Stacy till 5:00
to try to reach her father?

Wait a minute. Direct any
questions for Roberto to me.

Cool it, amigo, I'm on a roll!

3:00, no later.
Or else they'll strike.

You're right. They're trying
to take advantage of me!

If they think they're gonna
get away with it, they're wrong.

- All right.
- I'm Stacy Carosi!

Yeah!
Now you're talking.

(steady beeping)

Yoo-hoo, little gold ones!

I know you're under here somewhere.
Come to Papa!

Lisa:
Screech! Screech!

I gave my jeweler
that gold coin you found,

- and he said it's real!
- I knew it!

We're going to be millionaires!

We'll have two chauffeurs,
three maids,

and even our own plumber!

Screech, honey, do you think I could
borrow this metal detector

and give your big muscles
a little break?

- Certainly, my darling.
- Thanks. Hold this.

(frantic beeping)

Dig, baby, dig!

What do you two
think you're doing?!

Back off, Kelly!
You'll have to earn your own plumber!

There you go.
Right here, right here!

Stop it!
You can't dig up my beach!

No loca Jessie, no strike.

¿Sí?

- Sí.
- All right! Yes!

Hey, guys, listen to this.
They're fed up with Jessie

- and I've convinced them--
- No, you listen to this!

I'm Stacy Carosi,
I'm in charge now,

and I won't be bullied!
There's no raise, no how.

You got that?
No raise!

Okay.
We strike!

We strike.

Nice going, Terminator 3!

- You think I came on too strong?
- Don't worry.

We figured out a way
to have two parties at once,

- we'll figure a way out of this!
- I've been looking all over for you!

They're destroying my beach!
Come on!

(steady beeping)

Samuel, where do I dig?

Right here, my sweet!

You think Jenny would mind
having her Sweet 16 party in a hole?

Kelly:
Look at this disaster zone.

Lisa: I know.
We dug up the whole beach

and all we found was
one crummy coin!

What will we do tonight? We can't hold
the Richter party out here.

I don't know.
What if we move it inside?

Oh, good thinking, Zack.
How will we throw two parties

- in the dining room at the same time?
- We're not.

What if we keep
the Thornhill party at 7:00,

and then move the old timers out
and start Jenny's party at 8:00?

If they're anything like my grandfather,
they'll all be asleep by 8:00 anyway!

- I don't know if it'll work.
- It's worth a sh*t.

- We'll just hurry things along.
- You're forgetting one problem.

The kitchen staff is still on strike.
Who's gonna cook for these parties?

All right, who knows
how to make what?

- I make scrambled eggs.
- I can make hot dogs.

All I can make are reservations.

We'll have to do
a lot better than that!

Here are the menus
for the parties tonight.

All right. Look, guys, if rack of lamb
is what they're expecting,

then rack of lamb is
what they're gonna get!

How do you make a Bavarian
chocolate cream cake?

With Bavarian chocolate!
Duh!

All right, we have one hour
to let them eat and get them out.

Let's go!

All right!
Soup! Soup!

All right!

Why fill up on the soup?
Check out our main course.

Main course!

Friends,
on this momentous occasion,

I'd like to say a few words
about my husband.

And you've done it!
Wasn't that beautiful?

And now it's time
for the first dance!

To be immediately followed
by the last dance!

Screech!

(big band music playing)

- How are we doing on time?
- It's almost 8:00.

The Richter party
will be here any minute.

Good evening! Due to circumstances
beyond our control,

there's been a slight change
in the location of your beach party.

- It's now indoors, in the dining room.
- What?!

- What?!
- Once you see the lovely dining room,

I think you'll be very happy
with the change.

Jessie, these old folks
move like molasses!

Zack says to stall.

You know, this is the biggest night
in a young girl's life.

I remember my Sweet 16 party,
and why shouldn't I?

- It was just last year.
- That's nice,

but I'm ready for my party!

Jenny, Jenny, don't be
in such hurry to grow up.

You want your Sweet 16 party,

but once it's over, then what?

16 and one day
isn't quite as sweet.

Where does the time go?

What are you babbling about?

Come on, everybody,
the party's in here.

Wait, um...

- (music stops)
- Kelly: All right!

- What are these people doing here?
- Mr. Richter. Uh-- well, they're--

they're complimentary chaperons!
No extra charge.

What are these teenagers
doing here?

Uh...

they're here to remind you
to stay forever young.

No matter how old you are.

Excuse me.
I got the coats, Zack.

Let's herd the Thornhills out
before the Richters see them!

Oops!

Forget it, Screech.
It's over.

Everyone, I have
a confession to make.

The club goofed and booked
two parties here tonight.

- I'm really very sorry.
- (crowd grumbling)

The parties are a disaster.

Not necessarily.

These people came for a good time.
Why don't we give them one?

How?

Ask Mr. Thornhill to dance.

- Come on, go!
- (tango music playing)

Mr. Thornhill,
would you care to tango with me?

That looks like a neat dance.
Would you like to try it?

Mrs. Thornhill,
will you do me the honor?

Mr. Richter,
may I have this dance?

I'm still not sure exactly
what's going on here,

but yes, all right.

Jessie:
Mr. Carosi, please don't go in there!

What the--
we've got the Thornhill party

and the Richter party
going on at the same time!

Daddy?

- Stacy, how did this mess happen?
- The dining room was double booked.

That's outrageous! Who's the idiot
who double booked the room?

That's easy. You are.

Do the members realize that?

- Well, Carosi, you're back.
- I'm so sorry things got out of hand

- while I was away.
- Maybe you should go away more often.

This is turning
into one heck of a party.

Excuse me. Young lady,
you've done a terrific job.

That's why I left her in charge!

Stacy, this entitles you
to a raise.

Thanks, Daddy, but I'll only
accept it under one condition--

you give Roberto and
the kitchen staff a raise too.

- Huh-uh. Huh-uh.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Why should I do that?

Because you already
promised it to them.

And because they saved your butt
by cooking for both parties.

Okay, they get a raise too.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna take a walk on the beach

and have myself a good cry.

I hate giving up money.

That was really nice
what you did for the kitchen staff.

That was really nice what you
did for me -- saving my neck.

You're the man
with a million ideas.

Yeah, here's another one.

Let's dance.

Stacy?

Did your father
say he was going to--

- Walk on the beach!
- Both: The holes!

(Carosi screams)

(instrumental
theme music playing)