03x02 - Bad Luck Teddy

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Good Luck Charlie". Aired: April 2010 - February 2014.*
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Series follows PJ, Teddy and Gabe as they adjust to the newest member of the family, Charlie.
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03x02 - Bad Luck Teddy

Post by bunniefuu »

Gabe, be totally honest.

For a pregnant woman, I'm really smoking, aren't I?

Ba-bam!

Yeah.

I think silence is my best option here.

Okay.

Well, I'm off to yoga.

Oh hey, before you go This silly old thing.

Can I get a quick signature for this thing for school?

A school thing?

Oh.

I Hope this isn't another note from your principal.

Oh, look at that.

Yes, that's interesting.

It's gotten to the point where "dear Mrs.

duncan" is a stamp.

You released a bag of crickets in the library?

- Why?

- Crickets are noisy.

The library is quiet.

You try things.

Let's see.

I could try things like grounding you,

- cutting your allowance

- Wow, mom, now that I'm getting a better look at you, you are smoking.

- You really think so?

- Yeah.

Forget it, mister.

You've gone too far this time.

Your father and I will discuss your punishment later.

All right, fine, but you still have to sign this.

Wish I had a stamp.

Today's all burnt toast runing late and dad jokes ♪

"has anybody seen my left shoe?"

♪ I close my eyes, take a bite ♪ grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪ there it is up on the roof ♪ I've been there, i survived ♪ so just take my advice ♪ hang in there, baby things are crazy but I know your future's bright ♪ hang in there, baby sure life is up and down ♪ but trust me, it comes back around ♪ you're gonna love who you turn out to be ♪ hang in there, baby.

I'm so glad we're back together.

I know.

Me too.

You know, I feel like when we're happy,

- the whole world is happy.

- Right.

- Guess again.

- Oh hey!

Wouldn't it be fun cute couple nicknamese.

Where we combine our two names?

- Like brangelina.

- Yeah yeah yeah.

Right, okay.

So Spencer and Teddy.

Oh, we could be "spendy"!

Do you like spendy?

I'd like for spendy to hit me over the head with a club.

Well, I gotta go - Basketball practice.

- All right.

See ya later, spendy.

I like it.

Ivy, why are people giving me dirty looks?

Hmm, it could be anything really Your pants, your shirt, the fact that you're a jinx, your hair.

Wait.

Whoa whoa.

Okay, go go back.

I'm a jinx?

Why would people think that?

Well, ever since back together, r got.

The basketball team hasn't won a game.

But that's ridiculous.

Ivy, come on.

- You don't think.

- Weli, don't, o you?

But the basketball team does, the coach does, the janitor rse, I am not a jinx!

If anything, I'm good luck.

Sorry.

Hey, looking good, Charlie.

I know, daddy.

Yeah, you are your mother's daughter, all right.

Oh, I'm next!

I'll take the race car.

Hey, P. J. , P. J. Manager asked me to talk to you.

- About what?

- Come here.

He seems to think you're a little old to sit in the race car.

All right.

I'll sit on the elephant, but my engine noises won't make any sense.

Hey.

You're old enough to vote.

You're old enough to go to a real barbershop.

But real barbershops don't give out stickers and lollipops.

Maybe you can hold off on the voting for a little while.

Hey, you know what?

I'll take you to where I get my hair cut.

Uh, no thanks.

You're 18.

Time to leave the orange balloon and grow up.

Oh, great, rub it in my face.

Can you believe what Gabe did?

No, I can't.

I mean, everybody knows when you transport crickets.

You don't use a bag, you use a lightly-ventilated box.

Focus!

Bob, we have to punish him.

Man, he's been a handful lately.

I know.

Well, at least we don't have it as bad as my friend Pam.

She's one of the pregnant gals in my yoga class.

She has a son Gabe's age who's so out of control.

They're sending him to m*llitary school.

m*llitary school?

It's the only way, Bob.

You can't have.

A troublemaker like him around with a new baby on the way.

Still, I mean, isn't that kinda harsh for a kid Gabe's age?

What he needs is discipline, and that's what a school like Graystone academy can give him.

Yeah, I guess.

Hey, does he know it's happening?

No, the trick is not to tell him.

Then one day you say, "hey, buddy, get in the car.

We're going for ice cream. " Then off you go to m*llitary school.

- Wow.

I don't know if I - It's done, Bob.

And what do you care?

It's not like him leaving.

Is gonna affect your life one way or the other.

Yeah, that's true.

Excuse me, quick question: Do you give out prizes with your haircuts?

Yeah, if I Nick you, you get a free bandage.

That's a joke, right?

Okay.

Wow, I've really got to cut down on the coffee.

You know, I'm actually thinking about letting it grow out anyways.

- Syd!

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Have a seat.

Well, since I'm here.

- What's your name?

- I'm P. J.

So what kind of cut would you like today?

Uh, well, normally I go for the handsome prince, but today I'm thinking about changing to the sporty rascal.

Well, P. J. , I think it's time we gave you more of an adult look.

How about we go Shorter on the sides.

And then we can layer it on top?

Okay.

Or we could go shorter on top.

And then leave it fuller in the back.

Whatever takesthe longest.

Come on, let's get you shampooed.

We're gonna get me shampooed.

Okay, don't sugarcoat it.

Does everyone think that I'm a jinx?

Yes.

Boy, no sugar there.

Teddy, I'm sorry, all right?

It's one of those, - you know, sports superstition things.

- But it's so stupid.

Yeah, I know, but everyone believes it.

Well, then we'll just have to convince them that I'm not a jinx.

- How do we do that?

- You could play better.

That's obviously not gonna happen.

I guess you've never heard of a sugarcoat either.

I've got it We have to break up.

- Whoa.

Break up?

- We don't need to break up for real.

We'll fake break up, the team will think the jinx is gone, they'll relax, you guys can win again.

That could work.

Okay, so what's our story?

- Why are we breaking up?

- I met someone else.

- Okay, but who?

- Serge lefleur.

- Excuse me?

- Serge was.

My imaginary boyfriend when I was eight.

He he had a velvet beret.

And rode a unicycle.

So your imaginary boyfriend was a mime.

Yeah, a mime who could make a layup.

Hey!

You won't believe this Mom and dad are sending me to m*llitary school.

Oh, this is terrible!

Well, maybe for you, but I just doubled my living space.

How can you say that?

What, did I get the math wrong?

I mean, I know I've been bad, but how can they just send me away?

Well, you gotta hand it to mom and dad When you're adding a new kid, you kinda wanna get rid of an old one.

What about you?

You'll be leaving for college soon.

Gabe, everyone knows I'm not going anywhere.

Right, Charlie?

- True dat.

- Mmm.

They're sending me to some place called Graystone academy.

Graystone academy.

Ah, found it.

"Graystone academy: Breaking boys' spirits since 1873.

" Okay, there there has gotta be some way out of this.

Well, I'm not very good at thinking of things.

Okay, go on.

No, that's it.

I'm not very good at thinking of things.

I've got it.

I'll just start behaving better.

If I show mom and dad how good I can be, then they'll never send me away.

Your plan requires you to be good.

You have no experience in that.

Well, I'm gonna have to learn.

It's either that.

- Or I'm off to m*llitary school.

- Bye-bye, Gabe.

Hey, what were you dreaming last night?

- You kept kicking me.

- I dreamt you were snoring.

Oh, good morning.

Table for two?

- What's all this?

- You made us breakfast?

Not just any breakfast, dad.

Three eggs filled with pancakes, bacon and cold pizza.

You made me a boblette?

And, mom, a healthy breakfast for you Oatmeal and fresh fruits.

Okay, I wanna know what you did right now, mister.

I didn't do anything.

I just realized what great parents I have.

This is the best boblette I've ever had.

Gabe, seriously, I wanna know Where you got blueberries, 'cause they're not even in season.

I'll be back later to do the dishes.

Oh and, dad, I made you lunch.

I still think he's up to something.

Oh, dear lord, he made me a bob-wich.

Teddy, we have to talk right now.

- About what?

- About you cheating on me.

Well, I don't actu Do we have to do this here, in front of everybody?!

You were saying?

- I heard you're cheating on me.

- Oh.

Someone saw you with With sarge lefloo.

You mean serge lefleur?

The handsome, dashing french boy.

Who doesn't go to our school?

Yeah, that guy.

Oh, hold on.

Oops.

Oh, bonjour, mon petit chou-chou.

Ca va?

This is awkward.

- Good break-up.

- You too.

- Hello, again.

- P. J. , what's up?

I noticed this morning that my sideburns are a little uneven.

- They are?

- Uh-huh.

There, now they're even.

Yeah, but this is kinda my natural head position.

It makes me seem folksy.

Okay, have a seat.

Done!

Now you're folksy and even.

Heard the news!

Up top!

- What news?

- You dropped him like he's hot, - even though he's not!

- Oh.


Ivy, we're actually - We're not really - I couldn't believe.

You got back with that dog in the first place.

Spencer and I are still together.

You didn't let me finish.

- I love dogs.

- Yeah.

Yeah, see, we staged the break-up.

After they win the game tonight, we'll tell everyone we're still together.

And they'll know I was never a jinx.

- Ah.

- Heard the news!

Up top!

- We're still together.

- You didn't let me finish.

"Just because.

Love, Gabe.

" He must've done something really really bad.

Has anyone seen Mrs.

dabney lately?

Or maybe we're misreading this.

- What do you mean?

- Honey, maybe Gabe has finally turned that corner.

And maybe we should be giving him.

Some positive reinforcement.

Well, I guess if he's trying to be a good kid, we could try to be good parents.

New territory for all of us, h?

Hey, buddy.

Come on, get in the car.

Get in the car?

Why?

- We're going for ice cream.

- No!

No ice cream!

You can't make me!

Okay.

Uh, yogurt?

I know what's going on here.

And I'm not going down like this!

- Get back!

I won't go!

- Hey, whoa whoa!

Hey, Gabe!

- What are you doing?

- I don't want to go to m*llitary school.

m*llitary school?

Don't deny it!

I overheard you two talking in the kitchen.

Oh, you thought You think that you're leaving today.

Your departure date is still being determined.

Mm-hmm.

It all depends on how you behave, right, Bob?

Right.

I don't wanna go to Graystone academy.

I want my spirit to be broken at home.

By the people I love.

Well, I guess I could call Colonel Klink And tell him that we might reconsider.

Oh, thank you.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Now There's a bathroom upstairs that's not gonna clean itself.

Okay, I'm on it.

I'm on it.

Wh-wha-what What's going on?

- Who is this?

- Umm, my 4:30 appointment.

Why don't you head back to the shampoo station and I'll be right there?

Sh-shampoo?

I thought that was our thing.

P. J. , you're not my only client.

Oh, so now I'm just a client?

You've always been just a client.

Fine.

Two can play this game.

Jerry, gimme a shave, please.

Sure, kid.

Have a seat.

- Oh hey, t.

- Oh hello, Ivy.

Oh, I guess you've probably heard.

That Spencer and I broke up.

So my new boyfriend serge was busy, and I decided I'd come and support the team.

Why are you talking like that?

Oh, Ivy, this is how I normally talk, especially now that I'm not a jinx.

Yeah, this is gonna be a long game.

If Spencer misses this sh*t, we lose.

Oh!

Oh yes!

Yes yes yes!

- Whoo-hoo!

- What are you doing?

I'm telling the whole world we're still together!

We never broke up!

And since we won, I'm not a jinx!

Ha!

- Teddy.

- Hmm?

The score is tied.

Oh.

My bad.

I have to make this foul sh*t to win.

Okay.

Yeah, carry on.

Good luck.

No pressure.

If he misses this, I would not wanna be you.

Yes!

- Now?

- Now.

- Good morning.

- Oh, good morning.

The presentation just keeps getting better and better.

Well, what have we got on the menu today?

I'm hoping for a breakfast bob-urrito.

All right.

Voila.

There's nothing here.

What's going on?

I'll tell you what's going on.

I did a little research on Graystone academy.

There is no Colonel klink.

That's because he was replaced by Captain kirk.

Come on, guys.

You were just messing with me.

You were never gonna send me to m*llitary school.

No, we weren't, but we could.

No, you can't.

No matter how much trouble I get into, you guys love me too much.

I'd love you a little more.

If you made me a breakfast bob-urrito.

And a bowl of oatmeal with those yummy blueberries.

All right, coming right up.

Oh, but first I'm gonna need you guys to sign this.

Well, Charlie, Gabe's not going to militarschool, and I'm no longer considered a jinx, so everything's looking good here.

Hey, Charlie.

Well, almost everything.

What happened?

Jerry, my barber, is what happened.

- It looks painful.

- You should see my legs.

And you're related to him, so good luck, Charlie.

Where have you been?

The game's almost over.

I was on a date.

Oh, with who?

Serge lefleur.

You know he's imaginary, right?

Uh, don't listen to her, baby.

What did I tell you about that unicycle?

Take it outside.

You got here just in time.

If Spencer makes this sh*t, we win the state championship.

Oh!

Not in my house.
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