03x03 - Amy Needs A Shower

[bunniefuu]

Man, this is so great, getting to hang out with you.

I forgot how cool you are.

Aww.

Ivy, you are so sweet.

I love hanging out with you too.

Shh! I'm on video chat.

Oh! Hey, Ivy, did you see this email from our guidance counselor? Mm-mm.

If it's from school, it goes straight to my spam.

Well, this is about our community service requirement.

If we don't get this done, we don't graduate next year.

See? This is why I don't open emails from school.

They always stress me out.

Oh no, it gets worse.

See, because we waited so long, There are only two jobs left.

The first one includes helping old people

- Pass.

- But you didn't let me finish.

You lost me at "old people.

" so what's the other one? Interning at k-qui,

- That public radio station.

- You mean the one where Everyone talks like this.

Yes.

Yes, that's the one.

Man, I hate that station.

Well, would you rather bathe old people? And we're on the air.

today's all burnt toast running late and dad jokes

♪ "has anybody seen my left shoe?" ♪ I close my eyes, take a bite ♪ grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪ there it is up on the roof ♪ I've been there, I survived ♪ so just take my advice ♪ hang in there, baby things are crazy but I know your future's bright ♪ hang in there, baby there's no maybe everything turns out all right ♪ you're gonna love who you turn out to be ♪ hang in there, baby.

Hey, Bob, honey, I have a great idea.

- We should have a baby

- No! No more babies! Would you let me finish? I was going to say we should have a baby shower.

Oh.

You should really run your words together a little faster.

Is a baby shower even appropriate for a fifth kid? It is when you gave away all your other baby stuff.

Because you were absolutely certain.

You weren't gonna have another one.

What are you looking at me for? What are you looking at me for? So Throwing yourself a baby shower, huh? I am not throwing myself a baby shower.

That's tacky.

I just need.

To trick someone into throwing it for me.

But who? Oh, don't worry.

I'll get it.

- Hi.

- Mary Lou wentz.

Come on in.

Thank you, Amy.

I was just talking to Bob about you.

- Really? - I was just telling him.

How you're my very best friend.

Oh.

And you're I'm just here to pick up Ivy.

Mary Lou, what's the rush? Have a seat.

Take a load off.

Oh, I think I'm just gonna leave you two alone.

So what's my best friend up to? That would be you.

Oh, right right.

Well, not much.

Great great.

Well, you know, if you want something to do, You could throw a baby shower for your best friend.

That would be me.

Oh.

A baby shower? Yes, doesn't it sound fun? Okai, I will do all the work.

All you have to do is show up and host it.

Okay, I guess I could do that.

Great.

Oh, and I want it to be a surprise.

But you already know about it.

I mean we're talking about it right now.

Oh, Mary Lou, Honey, I'm an incredible actress, try me.

Just, umm, tell me something sad.

Um, your dog is sick.

What? No! I can't bear it! No! Why? Oh why? Ivy! Hey.

Great news! My friend Richie's got a kidney stone.

Yes! Yeah! Wait.

Why is that great news? Because he can't use his front-row tickets to the hockey game.

Which means I get to go and I get to bring one of you.

- Oh! Take me! Take me! - Okay, all right.

You guys need to work this out, Because I can't pick a favorite.

I mean, I've got one, I just can't say who it is.

Okay.

Hey, I've got an idea.

We'll flip a coin, all right? Heads I win, tails you lose.

No no.

No no no no no.

I'm not sure what's wrong about that, But I know I'm being tricked.

Okay, I'll think of a number in my head.

And we'll guess and see who comes the closest.

Gabe, I'm not falling for that again.

- Fine.

- Out of curiosity, was it six? - Yup.

- Dang it! Mmm! And now let's take a look.

At our national news.

Okay, so remember, If we're gonna get these jobs, we've gotta come across as smart.

So we love books, we love opera, Books about opera, operas about books.

Right, got it, got it.

- Yeah.

- Act all brainyish and stuff.

And let me do the talking.

The lower House of the legislature.

Passed the bill by a vote of 92-68.

And then it was sent to the upper chamber.

More to come on this fast-breaking story.

This is k-qui, The quiet station.

- Well, hello, girls.

- Hi.

I'm Diane vanderweis, Station manager and on-air personality.

Oh, I'm Teddy.

Charmed.

And I'm Ivy.

As William Shakespeare once said, "hello.

" Well, I'm sure he did say that at some point.

Oh yes, he he did.

We looked it up in a book.

And heard it in an opera.

Okay.

So tell me, And you familiar with k.Q.U.I.?

- No, what's that?

- Oh, uh She's kidding.

She knows that k.Q.U.I.

Is the radio station that we are in.

Right, Ivy? As William Shakespeare once said, "yes." Okay.

Have you heard.

Our award-winning program "fruit talk"? Oh, "fruit talk." yeah, I love that show.

I find it both fruity and talky.

Well, that's great, Because that's the show you're going to be working on.

Welcome to the k-qui family, girls.

Thank you, Diane.

We are we're really very excited.

Mm-hmm.

Now can you just sign this form for school? I sign that after you do the work.

It was worth a sh*t.

- Hey.

- Hey, honey.

- What you doing?

- Making out the guest list.

For my baby shower.

You're inviting your ex-boss Karen?

- I thought you didn't like her?

- Honey, I can't stand her.

But she married a rich guy.

And that means an expensive present.

I like presents.

Charlie.

Please, honey, don't be greedy, okay? This party's for mommy.

Wait.

Why is Debbie Dooley a question mark? 'cause, hovey, I'm not sure I can handle the voice.

I'm Debbie Dooley.

How ya doin'? Oh, it gives me a headache.

- So you're not inviting her?

- Oh, I'm inviting her.

The girl can bake.

Of course, then you have to hear her say "here's a snickerdoodle just for you-dle.

" Now all I have to do is email this list to Mary Lou, And then she can reply with a bunch of smiley faces.

Oh, that woman is too perky.

Okay, so we've got We got too perky, we got too annoying.

And we got somebody that you can't stand.

This sounds like an awful party.

Bob, please, these are my dearest friends you're talking about.

Hey, dad.

P.J.

- You're looking well.

- Mmm.

Hey, great news, Gabe and I worked it out, and we decided.

That I would be going to the game with you.

- Just you.

- Mm-hmm.

That's right.

- Mmm.

- Hey.

Guys, I'm sorry.

I can only take one of you.

- Take me.

- No no, take me.

- I love you more.

- No, I love you more.

- Hey hey hey! - No, I love you more.

I have dreamed of you guys having this argument Just not while you're wearing the same pants.

I'm Debbie Dooley.

How ya doin'? Mary Lou wentz.

Welcome.

Sorry I'm late.

The commute was a bear.

Oh.

I thought you lived across the street.

I do.

Gotcha!

- Here comes Amy!

- Ooh! Everybody hide! Oh my goodness.

This is so exciting.

I don't know where to hi Surprise! Wha what is this? A party for me? I I don't know what to say.

Oh my gosh, this is so funny.

You guys really got me.

- and now I'm getting emotional.

- Aww.

A shower? For my fifth baby? It almost seems inappropriate.

That's what I thought when I got the invite.

Oh, Karen, I'm so glad you could make it.

Oh, well, I've been getting invited to a lot of things lately.

I don't know if you've heard, but I married well.

Whoa.

Yes, that's very sparkly as well.

I'm just glad to have your present You present I'm glad you're here.

So, Mary Lou, What fun shower games did you plan? Shower games? You said just show up.

Well, a treasure hunt you say? Oh wow.

Oh, Mary Lou, you printed maps and everything? Wow, Mary Lou, you sure know how to throw a shower.

Well, I put a lot of work into it.

Yeah, leave the acting to me.

I'm Mike cannagher, and you're listening.

To a very special edition.

Of "fruit talk.

" It's an apple-palooza.

Mmm-mmm! Apples, apples, apples.

All different kinds of apples.

Fuji.

Rome.

Pink lady.

Mcintosh!

- Uh-uh.

I'll never make it through five hours of this.

Well, we have to, Ivy.

If we don't get.

That form signed, we don't graduate.

Red delicious.

Granny Smith.

Braeburn.

Then again, graduation's overrated.

Now I'm kinda wishing we stayed at the baby shower.

I mean, it looked boring, but not this boring.

It's gotta get better.

Wait, we're not getting any sound.

Told you it'd get better.

Maybe the mic's dead.

No, Mike's dead.

Mike? - Feeling better, Mike?

- Oh, I'm fine.

It's just the apple-palooza Too much excitement.

Wait.

Mike, before you go, one more thing

- Could you sign this?

- Well, you two are gonna have to do the rest of the show.

- What? - Oh, don't worry.

- It's only four hours.

- Well, we don't know how to do this.

- You know what an apple is?

- Yes.

You're all set.

You wanted to see us, dad? P.J., Gabe, Come on down!

- What's all this?

- You're the next contestants.

On "love that Bob." This is the game where we find out.

Who knows the most about Bob.

Brought to you by Bob's bugs be gone.

And let's meet our contestants! I'm P.J.

Gabe.

Love that enthusiasm.

All right.

P.J., Gabe, I'm going to ask you a series of questions.

About your father, pest control specialist Bob Duncan.

Whoever winds up with the most correct answers.

Wins a ticket to a hockey game.

Ooh.

All right, let's dive right in.

Question one,

- "what is Bob's"

- Donuts! Correct! Second question Pizza.

Yeah.

Let's move on from the food category.

Okay, here's here's an easy one.

"what is Bob's middle name?" Looking for a middle name.

All right, time's up.

It's William.

Moving on.

"William moving on"? Yeesh, what a terrible name.

It's no wonder you never use it.

I can't possibly lose this thing.

Okay, here's another easy one.

"how old is Bob?" Fift Hey.

- Six - No no no.

- Seven - All right, next question! When is Bob's birthday? Oh, come on, you guys.

You gotta know this one.

January 1st.

January 2nd.

January 3rd.

January 4th.

Okay, we are now into our Second hour of apple-palooza.

Still waiting for that first call.

Oh, just a reminder, "palooza" means excitement, And "call" means call.

Anyone.

Anyone at all.

Oh, hey.

In fact, why don't we just go crazy, Open it up to foods of all kinds.

We could talk Vegetables, steak, Sausage, bacon.

Dad, if you're out there, please call.

Okay, Charlie, You ready to help mommy open her presents?

- Yes, mommy.

- Aww.

I know what you're all thinking.

I make the most adorable children.

And lots of 'em.

Okay, before we do presents, I'm just gonna run.

To the little mommy's room.

Be right back.

- Oh.

- Oh.

Hmm.

Well.

What a pretty girl you are.

My name is Karen.

My mommy doesn't like you.

Oh.

Oh my.

Of course she does.

Why else would she invite me to the party? You're rich.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

Well, yes, I am rich, Which means I have a large car.

To put my large present into.

And drive away! Well, that was awkward.

I'm certainly glad your mommy likes me.

Huh, Charlie? My mom says you talk funny.

- Pardon me?

- It hurts her head.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Well, I guess I'll just take my snickerdoodles.

And skidoodle.

- You're leaving?

- Oh, you betcha.

Uh, Amy, I think you might wanna hurry it up in there! Mean.

Stupid.

Smelly.

Bye-bye.

Okay, the topic is now "things that exist.

In the world.

" Wow, looks like we're getting an actual call.

Hi, and welcome to "fruit talk.

" who is this? It's Ivy.

You do realize we're the only ones.

Listening to the show, right? And I'm not even listening.

Well, we still have three more hours to fill.

- What do you suggest? - How about this? Oh, okay.

we tried to talk fruit, we tried some conversation ♪ but the station's so boring, I need a vacation

♪ listen up, people, this station's a loser ♪ and this whole show was an apple-pa-snooza ♪ eww, oh

- this station is sad.

- This station is tired said the two interns who just got fired.

Can you sign this first? July 7th.

- July 8th.

- July 9th.

All right, you know what? This, uh this wasn't as much fun as I thought it was gonna be.

I think I'm gonna ask somebody else to go to the hockey game.

Whoa.

Wait wait, dad, just let me say something.

July 10th.

This shower was a total disaster.

I guess Charlie understands more than I thought.

I'm sorry, mama.

- Oh.

- Honey, it's okay.

It's okay.

It's not your fault.

It's not anybody's fault.

- Well, actually - It's not anybody's fault, Mary lo

- Okay.

- Now would you like a cup of tea?

- Yes, I would love that.

- Okay.

Okay, spill it, Charlie.

What did she say about me? Maybe you should come with me.

Well, Charlie, Ivy and I are looking for a new internship, And oh, I guess we have to be more careful.

With what we say around you.

Otherwise, people might find out they're too perky.

Are you here to pick up Ivy, Mrs. Wentz? No, I'm just really annoyed.

All righty, then.

Okay, Teddy, come on! Let's go.

So I'm going to my first hockey game, 'cause I was the only kid who knew when dad's birthday is.

Okay, running a little late.

Gonna have to paint your face in the car.

Yay, I'm the winner.

Wish me good luck, Charlie.

Hey, mom.

Oh, there's my little tyke.

How ya doin'? Mom, you feeling okay? Super good and gettin' better.

Why are you talking like that? Like what? Oh funny thing.

I was taking a wax today with Debbie Dooley.

And we found a magic potion.

Well, naturally we each took a sip, But nothing happened.

Uh, mom, Something did happen.

We need to fix this.

Nothing to fix, Mr. Bossy pants.

Snickerdoodle? Oh yeah, you're right.

We are good.

Are we? You betcha.