03x09 - Special Delivery (2)

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Good Luck Charlie". Aired: April 2010 - February 2014.*
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Series follows PJ, Teddy and Gabe as they adjust to the newest member of the family, Charlie.
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03x09 - Special Delivery (2)

Post by bunniefuu »

Oh, Toby.

I think you're my cutest baby yet.

Hey.

Oh.

My cutest boy baby.

Hey.

Oh.

Oh, I think cutest boy baby.

Just had a little spit up.

Oh.

Where's my "up man"? Up man! What's an up man? You know, he takes care of the "ups.

" Spit-up, clean-up, throw-up.

I'm here.

Thank you.

Why do I have to be the up man? Because you Why is it we're punishing him again? Well, because he He's Gabe.

We know he did something.

- Yep.

- Yeah.

Probably.

today's all burnt toast running late and dad jokes ♪ "has anybody seen my left shoe?" ♪ I close my eyes, take a bite ♪ grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪ there it is up on the roof ♪ I've been there, I survived ♪ so just take my advice ♪ hang in there, baby things are crazy but I know your future's bright ♪ hang in there, baby there's no maybe everything turns out all right ♪ sure life is up and down ♪ hang in there, baby.

Well, lookie here.

This milk expires tomorrow.

Huh.

Speaking of tomorrow, pretty Pretty special day, huh? It won't be for anyone.

Who drinks that milk.

No, silly.

Tomorrow is 10 months.

Since we Since we Since we got back together.

Tomorrow is our 10-month-aversary.

Right, no.

I'm just messing with you.

Tomorrow night, I'm Taking you out to a special fancy dinner.

So you really remembered? Yeah, no.

Of course.

Of cou - Check out my calendar.

- Hmm.

Tomorrow's date has a heart on it.

Let me see.

Hang on.

Hang on.

All right, here we go.

See? And that's a puppy.

Hang on.

Hang on.

Gosh, with everyone helping out, Toby's first week at home has been.

Absolutely wonderful.

Surprise! - Mom! - Grandma.

- Hey.

- Aww.

- Hello.

- Hi.

And the week just keeps getting better.

What are you doing here? With your suitcase? Oh! What kind of a grandmother would I be.

If I didn't come to see my new grandson and whatnot? Mom, you're the best.

Oh, thank you, honey.

You look wonderful.

And Amy, you're still wearing.

That same outfit.

I never get tired of seeing it.

I like presents.

Oh.

I remembered that.

Do you want to look in the bag? I like cash.

I'm on a fixed income.

Amy, I'm not here on vacation.

I'm here to help out with the chores and whatnot.

No more chitchat.

I want to see my Toby.

Oh, my.

What a handsome boy you are, Toby.

Are you gonna look like a movie star, Just like your daddy? When was the last time she went to a movie? Oh, hey, Mrs.Dabney.

Hmm Guess it's old lady day here at the Duncan house.

This is for you.

It's some old baby stuff I found in my attic.

I mean, as long as you people.

Keep having babies every five minutes.

Oh.

Check out this old rattle.

That was my son Rodney's.

He loved that thing.

The rhythmic noise.

Would just mesmerize his little mind.

Pj.

Hmm? Oh, hi, Mrs.Dabney.

You know, there might be some things here.

That you boys would be interested in.

We don't want your old junk.

Fine.

I'll just throw these old comics.

And baseball cards away then.

No, no, no! I mean We'll take them, but you owe us.

And now, the best part of my day Leaving.

Stop that.

Oh, hey, Gabe.

Hi, honey.

Hey, what's going on? Oh, nothing much.

This and that.

Oh, there was one more little thing.

What was it, what was it, what was it? Oh, yeah.

I can't stand grandma.

But she's the sweetest lady in the world.

No, no.

No.

No.

She's the sweetest lady in the world.

And whatnot.

Yeah, she does say that a lot, Doesn't she? It's not just that.

It's the voice, and smile, and the comments, And the "bobby's a movie star.

" Please.

If anyone's around here's a movie star, It's me.

Well, mom, She's only going to be here for two more days.

Can't you just get through it? I don't know.

After the baby, I'm all hormonal, Just I don't have my usual censor.

You have a censor? Teddy, you have to help me, okay? You gotta keep grandma away from me.

Yeah, sure.

I I love spending time.

With grandma.

And just in case she gets on my nerves, We need a code word.

You know, something I can say.

In case I'm about to blow.

Platypi.

That's a fun word.

It's the plural for platypus.

Oh, honey.

I need something that I can work into a conversation.

Um Apple.

I was at the zoo and I saw two platypi.

How easy is that? We'll go with apple.

Meh.

No.

Oh.

Hey.

Check out this old comic book.

"Gila monster man.

" Gila monster man? What's that about? "by day, he's mild mannered photographer, gil a.

Muenster.

" By night, he's a crime-fighting superhero.

"Gila monster man.

" All right, what's his super power? "when he hides under hot rocks," His body temperature rises.

"And gives him the ability to scorch villains.

" I'd hate to be the geek with that lunch box.

You know? - What's that? - Just some old letter.

Hey, it's dated July 9, 1924.

- Wow.

- Listen to this.

"my dearest brother," As I am very ill, I send you this letter with great urgency.

As you know, in spite of my great wealth, "I have had a lifelong distrust of banks.

" What does Gila monster man do during the winter? Quiet, quiet, quiet.

Blah, blah, blah, blah "all my money is buried in the backyard of my home," And four feet deep.

"With loving regard, your brother, Orville.

" Wait a minute, look at this.

He lived in Mrs.

Dabney's house.

And the letter was never mailed.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? We gotta get to the post office.

Pj, the letter was never mailed.

No one knows about the money.

It's probably still there.

So when Mrs.

Dabney's gone, We go dig it up.

Oh.

And we're rich.

Well, of course, the right thing to do.

Would be to split it evenly with Mrs.

Dabney.

We're gonna do the wrong thing, though, aren't we? Move it back.

There.

Now, isn't that better, Bobby? It is better, mommy.

Hi.

What's going on? Oh, just a little rearranging and whatnot.

Oh.

Is that a good idea? Oh, yes.

It's an ancient chinese art.

It's called "fung shooey.

" Hey, hon.

Come on in here a second.

Huh? What do you think? Love it.

It's easier to clean this way.

I know that's always been a challenge for you.

Apple.

What? Mom's probably just talking about.

What we're gonna have for dinner tonight.

Apple? Don't you think we need something.

A little more filling? Apple.

Grandma, you haven't seen my room.

Come see my room.

Okay.

So, like a caramel apple? Thanks for the tour of your room, sweetheart.

It was certainly thorough.

Oh, no.

Uh, wait.

Um Let's do something.

You know, just you and me.

I need some more grandma time.

All righty.

I'm not sure you're going to enjoy it, But I have an idea that might be fun.

Extreme couponing.

Extreme couponing? Well, let me explain how it works.

Now this one's worth 50 cents, But it's a double coupon.

Which means it's actually worth a dollar.

Cool! If I use this on on a qualifying item, It's triple times the double.

Believe it or not, I once got a case of Pickle relish.

For 12 cents.

How was it? Well, I'm not a Pickle person.

Um "buy one 5-pound bag of Kitty litter, Get the second bag free.

" Don't forget to triple your double.

This is awesome.

You know, we don't have a Cat, But if we did, he'd be pooping for free.

Shh.

Shh.

Guys I know I'm going to regret asking this, but Where are you going with that stuff? - The library.

- We're in a play.

Uh We're in a play at the library.

And what is the name of the play? "shovel Kids.

" It's about kids who carry around shovels And make fun of the kids.

Who carry around pickaxes.

Pfft.

Ha.

Dork.

You should never make fun of someone.

With a pickax.

That's one of my lines.

Okay.

What you doing? Oh, want to get my facts straight Just on the off chance I have to fill out a police report later on.

Oh, five hours of couponing That was quite a sesh.

Grandma, is it normal to see dotted lines.

Everywhere you look? I'm gonna head upstairs.

Oh, no, um, Let's do something else fun.

Oh, but your mother probably needs my help.

And whatnot.

But I need your help down here.

With what? With, um Uh With A makeover.

You want me to give you a makeover? Yeah, I mean, you know, I've I've been feeling kind of bored with my look.

And you have such a great sense of style.

Well, I did pack an extra can of hair spray.

Oh, no.

Bob, honey.

You're not a movie star.

I've got something to show you.

May I present the new, And improved, Teddy Duncan.

Teddy, what happened? Oh, um Grandma gave me a makeover.

So we could spend more time together.

And whatnot.

And that's not all.

Come on, sweetie.

Come on.

Let's go.

Oh! My hair is hard.


Hello, ma'am.

Oh! No.

Today is our I totally forgot.

Well, when you get older Who's this handsome fellow? Oh, grandma, this is my boyfriend Spencer.

Spencer, this is grandma Linda.

- Hello.

- Hi.

Nice to meet you.

I can see the family resemblance.

All righty.

Well, let me just go change real quick.

Why do you need to change? We just got you fixed up.

Yes, we did.

Um I guess we're ready to go then.

Oh.

You know what? I gotta go, too.

It's bowling night.

So Teddy's going to dinner, And you're going bowling? Where are the boys? Uh.

They might be at the library, But I doubt it.

Well, Linda Looks like it's just you and me tonight.

Apple? Or Happy anniversary.

You know, This would go a lot faster.

If you helped me dig.

Pj, in every partnership, There's labor and there's management.

- Why am I labor? - Because I'm management.

Wait, stop.

I think I just heard Mrs.

Dabney pull up.

- Come on! - All right.

- Hurry up, hurry up.

- Don't rush me.

I'm not 12 anymore.

Here you go.

And for you, ladies, The senior menu.

Um, could I have.

A regular menu? I'm I'm 17.

What a great attitude! It's sweet of you kids to invite me, But I feel like I'm in the way.

Oh, no.

Of course I want you here, grandma.

I've got my favorite guy, My awesome grandma, My great new look It's all coming together, right, Spencer? You bet.

Especially since both of your meals.

Will be half off.

Oh, which reminds me, I left my coupon in the car.

Excuse me.

He's a couponer, too? You'd better hang on to him.

Oh, I'm sorry.

We didn't order milk.

They're from the gentlemen at table seven.

What's going on here? Just admiring my new hot tub.

And may I say, thank you, boys.

That hole you dug saved me a lot of money.

We weren't digging the hole for a hot tub.

There's a fortune down there.

Why are you laughing? And why would you put a hot tub over a fortune? That's so stupid.

She tricked us.

She wrote the letter.

- She did? - I did.

She knew we'd dig the hole.

Exactly where she wanted it.

We're the stupid ones.

- We are? - You are.

Where's grandma? She's been in the bathroom a long time.

Oh, um, excuse me.

Have you seen the woman who was sitting with us? Yes.

She just got into a cab.

Something about wanting you guys.

To have some private time and whatnot.

Oh, no.

She's going home! Platypi! What? Platypi.

Aren't you loving the new setup? Uh-huh.

It takes all the negative energy.

And pushes it right through the door.

Not all of it.

We'll be "fung shooing" the kitchen tomorrow.

No, no, no.

Nothing's wrong with the kitchen.

You're right.

Can't blame the kitchen.

For what goes on in there.

Hi.

What's going on? Apple, apple, apple.

Why do you keep saying that? Oh, it's just this fun thing that we do.

She says that and then I answer back, "pie, pie, pie!" No.

No! I can't do this anymore.

You can't do what anymore? This! Smiling like a ninny.

While you drive me out of my mind.

Well, I agree, you do smile like a ninny.

But I can't see where it's my fault.

See? There it goes again.

You know, the little digs, and the comments, And the rearranging, and whatnot.

Whatnot, whatnot, whatnot! What does that even mean? I I never knew you felt this way.

Well, 'cause I've been keeping it inside.

For the last 20 years.

And now that I've said it, I feel terrible.

I'm so sorry, Linda.

Oh, I'm a horrible person.

Oh, no, no.

You're not a horrible person.

You're a wonderful girl.

Who just happened to marry very, very well.

And you've given this family a wonderful life.

Bobby's lucky to have you.

Thank you.

You know, as hard as it was to hear, I appreciate your honesty.

And I appreciate your appreciation.

This is nice.

This is good.

Well, as long as we're being honest, I have some things I'd like to share about you.

Um.

No.

I think we're good.

I think we've made enough progress for today.

Come on, ladies.

Let's bring it in.

Family hug.

Hey, everybody.

Back from bowling.

Well, Charlie, grandma's gone home, And everything is back to normal.

Huh.

Look at that I really don't have a bad side.

Well, maybe not everything.

I'll get it.

May I speak to pj and Gabe? Mrs.

Dabney.

You got a you got a little swmething.

Someonput food coloring in my hot tub.

Ah.

Boys, you have a visitor.

You'd better wish your brothers.

Some good luck, Charlie.

And now, the continuing adventures of Gila monster man! That's some sandwich, eh, muenster? Sure is, chief.

Chief! I just got a scoop.

Doctor scorpion's robbed another bank.

Great googly-moogly! That fiend.

Boy, I'd love to squash that bug.

Like you could do anything.

You're just mild-mannered news photographer.

Gil a.

Muenster.

Not a real hero like Gila monster man.

Well, you've got me there.

Wait! Where are you going? To find a hot rock! I mean The bathroom.

Gila monster man! Where'd you come from? No time to talk.

Doctor Scorpion's on the loose.

Holster, quick, get a picture.

Where is that mummbling idiot?
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