03x14 - Teddy and the Bambino

[bunniefuu]

Okay, everybody.

Listen up.

Big announcement.

Maternity leave is over and I'm headed back to work at the hospital.

Can you take Toby with you? Honey, I think we've been over this.

Is that a yes? All right, you two are gonna take care of the little ones on Saturday.

Teddy, you get Toby.

Aw, why can't I have Toby? Remember what happened the last time I put you in charge of a baby? Man, you lose one kid.

You get labeled for life.

You and Gabe can take care of Charlie.

What about Dad? Or don't you trust old butterfingers? Man.

You drop two babies I just remembered I have the student UN on Saturday.

- It's at noon.

- Oh, that's not a problem.

I only work half a day.

You know what? I'll meet you at the high school, we'll do a Toby hand off.

- Great, then we're all set.

- Wow, mom.

Now that you're going back to work I guess this is our last Amy Duncan home cooked breakfast, huh? I'm afraid so, honey.

( Silently ) I know what you're all doing.

( Rock music playing ) Today's all burnt toast running late and Dad jokes.

"Has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud.

There it is up on the roof.

I've been there, I survived.

So just take my advice.

Hang in there, baby things are crazy.

But I know your future's bright.

Hang in there, baby, there's no maybe.

Everything turns out all right.

Sure life is up and down.

But trust me, it comes back around.

You're gonna love who you turn out to be.

Hang in there, baby.

There he is.

Mr.Victor Deleseur.

Two-time winner of the South High student U.N.

Three-time.

Hello, Teddy.

Why'd you want to see me? Well, I was saddened to hear that you and Victoria broke up.

She said I wasn't romantic enough.

Which is totally untrue.

I did an algorithm which proved my romanticism is above average.

Anyway, um Since you and Victoria are no longer together I Uh, stop.

Before you get your hopes up, I'm not ready to start another relationship.

It's too soon.

Really? Okay, um Give me a moment to regroup Done.

Anyways, um I was wondering if you actually wanted to be my partner for the student U.N.

Ah, so you'd like to win the award you lose every year.

Well, that's not all of it.

Because the award will look good on your college applications, and help you get into a better school.

Yeah.

That's all of it.

Amy: Attention everyone.

I'm back! Yeah! - ( Applause ) - ( Laughs ) Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You guys can go pick up that corpse now.

Oh! Karen.

Hello, Duncan.

Hi.

I thought you gave up nursing after you got married.

Yeah, well, I'm not married any more.

He said I was loud and bossy, I think he has commitment issues.

Well, it's, uh Nice to see you again.

Is it, Duncan? Is it? Because I remember what happened the last time we were in this room together.

Do you? I believe I resigned due to a temporary misunderstanding.

You popped one of these saline bags and squirted it in my face! Tomato, to-mah-to.

I'm keeping my eye on you, Duncan.

I've had a lot of problems with nurses returning from maternity leave.

You're not gonna be all like "wah wah wah I miss my baby.

" Are you? Of course not.

Good.

I'm gonna be all "wah wah wah I can't believe I have to work with you again.

" ( Chuckles ) Now, here is our presentation.

And since we're Italy, I decided to draw a nice little map of our nation on the cover.

Oh, good.

That's Italy.

I was afraid you were drawing some boots that you wanted.

Look, I don't draw boots.

I'm not that shallow.

Okay.

All right.

Let's go.

Why are you taking the baby? Don't worry.

My Dad's gonna meet me at school and we're gonna do a hand off.

Like in football.

Anyway, it'll be fine.

Toby's such a sweet little boy, we won't even know he's there.

( Crying ) Hush little baby don't say a word.

Why are you singing? The child is obviously in distress.

Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird.

( Cooing ) - See? - ( Chuckles ) Amazing.

Lullabies were forbidden in my house.

My mother would only allow me to listen to 18th century Italian operas.

Oh, so that's why you turned out to be The way that you are.

"You've been arrested by a Sheriff Kitty.

Go to the dog pound.

" I don't get it.

The game's called "puppy town".

But the Sheriff's a cat? Okay.

Ah.

You win again, Charlie.

The 10th straight time.

- Play again? - No no no no no no.

No more "puppy town.

" I'm all I'm all puppied out.

Let's do something else.

Want to read a book? Okay.

"Return to puppy town.

" ( Cellphone ringing ) My phone's upstairs.

Hang on.

Gabe? It's your turn to watch Charlie.

Gabe: Just a minute! What'd you say? Eh.

Charlie? Did you run away? Because if you did, I don't blame you.

Want to play? Oh, "puppy town," huh? I used to play with my son Rodney.

I have to warn you, I'm pretty good.

Me too.

Okay, hotshot.

And this is my baby, Toby.

Isn't he adorable? Oh, you know what would be adorable? Doing your job! You don't see me going around showing everyone pictures of my plant.

A plant.

How wise of you to get something that can't run away.

Note to self: Take picture of plant, make people look at it.

Okay, I'm just going to check your blood pressure, Mr.Franklin.

You can call me Toby.

Oh, Toby.

That's my baby's name.

Well, what do you know about that.

Today's my first day back at work, and I just miss him so much.

Oh, Toby.

- You're hurting me.

- Oh, no, sweetie.

I would never hurt you.

Mama loves you.

Hey, I can't feel my arm.

What? ( Exhales ) I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Mr.

Franklin.

I'm just having a little trouble focusing today.

That's okay, dear.

You work in a hospital, no need to focus on your job.

Thank you for understanding.

What you reading? "Return to puppy town.

" You know, I can't get past Sheriff Kitty.

I mean, why would dogs obey a cat? Thank you.

Okay.

So, where's Charlie? ( Chuckles ) That's funny.

I'll do it.

"So, where's Charlie?" ( Chuckles ) I thought she was with you.

"I thought she was with you.

" ( Laughs ) Dude, why are you laughing? Because you're pretending you don't know where Charlie is.

I don't know where Charlie is! What? - This is suddenly not funny.

- You think? We got to find her.

Uh, Charlie? - Charlie? - Charlie? Hey, guys.

Hey, Dad.

What are you doing? Uh Playing hide-and-go-seek with Charlie.

Yeah.

She's very good.

- You want to help us look? - She could be anywhere in the house.

Or outside.

- The rules were kind of vague.

- Yeah.

Oh, hey.

Here's an idea.

Why don't you guys go next door and look in Mrs.Dabney's house.

Do you want to know why I think you should go over and look there? Because you're not very good at this game? No, because Mrs.

Dabney called me an hour ago to tell me that Charlie had gone over there.

All by herself.

Oh.

So A little moment of panic, but a happy ending, huh, Dad? Go get her.

Oh, and when you guys come back we're having a little talk.

( Door closes ) Sheriff Kitty? Well, that doesn't make any sense.

- Victor.

- Victoria.

This is who you're partnered with? Victoria: Teddy Duncan? She's academically inferior.

She's not inferior, she's marginal.

Sitting right here, guys.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lead Norway to victory.

Of course she would be Norway.

Cold, isolated, yet irresistible.

( Cellphone ringing ) Dad, where are you? What? Oh, man.

Okay.

Yeah, okay.

Just get here as fast as you can.

Okay, bye.

Bad news.

Um, my Dad is running late, so we're kind of stuck with the baby for a little while.

What? We can't give our presentation with a baby.

Okay, relax.

No one will even know he's here.

Yeah, unless they have a sense of smell.

Man, Toby.

Again? All right, let me change you.

Really? Right here? This is highly inappro Victor, are you okay? Victor: Fine.

Just gonna stay down here for a minute.

Probably not a good idea.

Welcome to the 14th annual, South High student united nations competition.

As I always say at this juncture Game on.

Yes, the chair recognizes the delegate from Norway.

Thank you, Mr.

Chairman.

I would like to protest the fact that the Italian delegation appears to consist of three people.

The maximum allowed is two.

Italy, care to rebut? Um, the third person is a baby.

A baby is a human being.

( Chuckles ) Italy has admitted to breaking the rules and should be dismissed from the proceedings.

Isn't she magnificent? Mr.Chairman, Italy is involved in some family care issues, Italy's father promised to be here, but as we can see he has failed to cross the border.

The chair understands Having dealt with Italy's parents before.

Double sixes? You win again.

( Doorbell rings ) Set 'em up.

This isn't over.

Well, it only took you 73 minutes to realize your little sister was missing.

In our defense You got anything? - Nope.

- Oh.

Charlie, there you are.

Oh, playing "puppy town," huh? - How you doing? - It's about even.

No, it's not.

- I let her win.

- She said bad words.

( Gasps ) Just take her and get out.

Pa: Dr.Elliot to ICU.

Dr.Elliot to ICU.

Charlie's voice over pa: Mommy, I see you.

Mommy, I see you.

Charlie? Charlie, is that you? Who are you talking to? Um, no one.

Dr.Napier's looking for you.

Oh, and tomorrow, you're working a double.

Good for you, Karen.

Way to take the reins.

Dr.

Napier, you wanted to see me? Yes, I want you to come home, mommy.

Uh, excuse me? I miss you, mommy.

You do? Can I have a hug? Of course you can.

Ohh.

What are you doing, Duncan? And that is why Norway believes that the most important problem facing the world today is debt.

Thank you.

We will now hear from the Italian delegation.

Thank you, Mr.

Chairman.

Italy believes the most important issue facing the world today is the environment.

( Crying ) Just keep going.

As I was saying ( Crying continues ) Do something.

Make him be quiet.

Only singing will do that.

What are we supposed to do, sing the presentation? Italy, we're waiting.

Yeah, that's a great idea.

Just sing it.

- But I - Sing.

The snow caps are melting.

From all the pollution.

Our alps, they need helping.

There is a solution.

We will go, we will go, we will go.

To hand our resolution in.

So You will know, you will know, you will know.

It's a fight, we truly can win.

( Applause ) All right, I just put Charlie down for her nap, so let's talk.

How could you two be so irresponsible? Dad, before we get into that, we made you a little something.

Oh, sweet Mama, is that a chicken Bob-pie? Mm-hmm.

Stuffed with cheddar cheese, mini hot dogs, and onion rings.

And love.

No.

No.

Look, guys, bribery is not gonna work.

I'm very disappointed in you two.

Now, I can't do everything around here.

I was supposed to be over at the high school to pick up Toby, but now I gotta deal with this.

We're sorry, Dad.

I just can't believe you would let Charlie walk right out that door.

Dad, we won't let it happen again.

Good.

Now if we're done, I believe there was a pie mentioned.

And now the exciting moment that we've all been waiting for The winner of the 14th annual South High student U.N.

competition is Oh, my goodness.

Italy.

Yes! We won! Victor? I didn't know you could sing like that.

It was so romantic.

Does this mean you want me back? - Is 64 the square root of - Both: 4,096? Oh, darling.

Congratulations, Italy.

Wow, um You know, I'd like to thank the little people.

And by little people, I mean Toby.

( Chuckles ) Love you, bro.

Hey, guys.

Hey, mom.

What are you doing home from work so early? Oh, I had a terrible day.

I kept having these crazy hallucinations about Toby and Charlie.

In fact, they're still going on.

I thought I just saw Charlie in Mrs.

Dabney's window.

Well, that's crazy.

( Doorbell rings ) Mommy! Does anyone else see her? She got out again.

Some operation you're running here.

But They lost her first! - What?! - He ate three pies.

- Yeah! - Because you made them for me.

( Overlapping arguing ) Quiet everybody! Pie boy, in the kitchen now! And you two watch your sister.

Honey honey honey, okay, look.

I can explain.

I know it looks bad.

Bob, I missed the kids so much today.

Going back to work is so much harder than I thought.

Honey, it's just the first day.

It's gonna get better.

I don't know.

Bob, we have two little ones now, and they both need me so much.

I just Look, I know we need the money, but if there's a way I could stay home Okay, all right all right, look, if this is what's best for the family.

Then we'll We'll find a way.

Oh, Bob.

Okay.

Guess I'd better go back to the hospital and quit.

- Can't you do that over the phone? - It's Karen.

I should do it in person.

Hello, Karen.

- Is that for a patient? - Nope.

- You quitting? - Yup.

Do I have time to put on my goggles? I recently bought goggles because I had a feeling.

Nope.

Whoa! Oh! Oh no! Ohh Good for you, Amy.

Good for you.

Well, Charlie, it looks like mom's gonna be staying at home for a while.

And since we got new childproof locks, we are hoping you will be too.

No, but seriously, it's gonna be really great to have mom at home.

For you, and for Toby, and yeah, well, for all of us.

( Coughing ) Breakfast is ready.

- ( Coughing ) - ( Smoke alarm beeping ) Better give it a minute.

You're gonna be with her for three meals a day.

( Chuckles ) Good luck, Charlie.

(Doorbell rings ) Hello, Mrs.

Duncan.

I've something I must say.

Then let's hear it, Victor.

I don't have all day.

Since I'm back with Victoria.

Teddy and I..

Are no more-ia.

I think you're mistaken.

Teddy's already taken.

Hey.

What's going on? Honey don't you know? We're singing as..

We go.

But I can't sing.

- You must.

- You must.

- You must.

- You must.

Both: You must sing with us.

( Meekly ) Mary had a little lamb.

Little lamb.

- Forget it.

Forget it.

- Yeah, that was terrible.

( Door opens ) Somebody threw a ball through my window.

Who's gonna fix..

No no no no.

We're not doing that any more.

Why do I even try with you people? Padding line 1.

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