04x01 - The Fight

[bunniefuu]

[bell rings]

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Now I know it's hard to believe,

but it's the first day
of school,

and I'm really psyched.

I'm a senior now, which means
reserved student parking,

no more algebra,
and best of all,

freshmen who believe
everything seniors say.

Excuse me sir,
where's the boys' room?

There isn't any. Freshmen
have to go at home.

No, he's just kidding.

It's on top of the roof
next to the pool.

- Thanks.
- But...

freshmen can't go up to
the roof without a pass.

See, you need a hallway pass,
a stairway pass,

and a room pass.
That'll cost 10 bucks.

Oh, man!

Or you can get the go
anywhere pass for $5.00

Wow!
I'll take that one.

I know a bargain when I see one.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Yeah.

- Duh!
- Duh!

Love being a senior.

It's going to be
a good year, buddy.

Did you find a date
for senior kickoff party?

Kelly, finding a date is not the problem.

It's apologizing to all
the runners up that's tough.

I know what you mean.

Yeah. Hey, babe, sorry.

There's only so much
Slater to go around.

He snorts, therefore he is.

I'm going to be at that party.

I mean, finally,
no parents, no chaperons,

and no Mr. Belding.

Hallelujah!
We are seniors.

Amen! Amen! Amen!

Why is Mr. Belding
dressed like that?

And what is that
thing on his head?

Well, it's not moving.

I'd guess a cheap wig.

Ho! Welcome back,
senior dudes.

Mr. Belding,
is that you?

You look so...

different.

Oh, really?
Well, in what way?

Uh...

Say, did you lose
some weight, Mr. B?

No, but you're getting warm.

You've gotten taller,
haven't you?

No, although I did
work out on my vacation.

Whoa!

Mr. Belding, what
happened to you?

Oh, yeah. You bleached
your nose hairs.

He means you changed so much
from bottom to top.

Mrs. B dropped
40 pounds,

so I had to change my
image to keep my babe.

[bell rings]

Got to go!

Hi. Zack Morris, senior
welcoming committee.

You're new because I'd
remember a face that beautiful.

I bet you say that
to all the girls.

I do, but this time I mean it.

Good, 'cause I like it.

Hey, girls.

What's...

Hmm.

Excuse me.

Hi. A.C. Slater.

Is this seat taken?

Hi. Joanne Peterson.

No.

Great.

I've never seen you
around school before.

Did you just transfer here?

Yeah. I just moved from Idaho.

Really, you're from Idaho?

Funny, you don't have an accent.

I lost it on the plane.

Attention, everyone.

All new students please report
to the auditorium for orientation.

This is your Principal
Richard Belding speaking,

but you can call
me the Richmeister.

Let me know what I miss, O.K.?

Hey, don't worry. Mrs. Taylor
hasn't assigned work in 10 years.

[bell rings]

Good day. Mrs.
Taylor has retired.

I'm Mr. Breskin.

Take out your pencils
for your first test.

- Test?
- Test?

Pencils?

I don't have pencils.

I'll have to use my eyeliner.

Hey, boys and girls,
it's time to rock 'n' roll!

Let the party begin.
Ha ha ha.

Huh?

Mrs. Taylor...

You've changed.

So unfair, a test on
the first day of school?

Who is that fine-looking
creature over there?

I don't know. Never
seen him before.

He's cute.

He'll be my date
to the senior party.

Pardon me, ladies.

Lisa turtle is about
to catch a hunk.

Hi.

I'm Lisa.

Hi, I'm Darren.

Now that we know each other,

this Saturday's
the senior party.

How would you
like to go with me?

Sure.

Now that we're friends, how
about a movie Wednesday night?

Sounds great.

Ciao for now.

Ciao.

How's senior year
treating you, buddy?

Oh, super.

You wouldn't believe
the girl I met today.

Get out. Me, too.

Oh, you got to see her, Zack.

I'm telling you she's
got one of those smiles

you only see in
Tic-Tac commercials.

My girl makes Madonna
look like Bart Simpson.

I've got an idea.

Let's double-date to
the senior kickoff party.

- It will be a blast.
- Okay.

No cutting in for a dance
'cause this girl's all mine.

- See ya.
- See ya.

See what I see?

Freshmen sitting in our booth?

The gall of today's youth.

O.K., children.

Take a hike. Senior territory.

Get thee to a nursery.

Hi. What can I get you guys?

Just sodas. We got
a lot of studying to do.

You're Darren. I'm
Kelly, Lisa's friend.

She hasn't stopped
talking about you all day.

Are you tutoring these guys?

Actually, we're tutoring him.

Coach wants to make sure Darren
stays eligible for freshman football.

Freshman football?

I'll go get those sodas
for you right away.

Excuse me.

Lisa's dating a freshman.

Darren is a freshman?

Those squeaky-voiced
munchkins are his classmates.

Oh, boy. When
Lisa hears about this,

she'll drop dead in her Calvins.

- Oh.
- Oh, man.

- Have a menu.
- Thanks.

Hey, Preppie,

there she is.

Hey, you know Joanna?

Yeah, I know Joanna.

She's the girl I've
been telling you about.

No. She's the girl I've
been telling you about.

Hey, Slater.

Have you asked Joanna
to the senior party yet?

No.

No?

[both] Joanna, would you like to go
to the senior kickoff party with me?

I don't know what to say.

I mean I'm flattered.

I've never been asked
out by two guys before,

at least, not simultaneously.

Probably I should
think about it a little.

Absolutely. Take your time.

Go right ahead. Think away.

- Mind if we join you?
- We're great company.

Sure.

He's a little clumsy.

Question number 202...

Name the icicle-shaped
substances found in caves.

Ooh, me, me, me! I know!

Maybe someone new. Joanna.

Um...

Stalactites.

Stalagmites.

What?

- Stalactites.
- Stalagmites.

I guess you're wondering
what we're doing.

Well, don't think
of it as cheating, sir.

Think of it as old
students reaching out

to make new
students feel welcome.

No. Think of it as extra
homework for you three.

[bell rings]

Just tell her, Kelly.

I'm not going to tell her
about Darren. You tell her.

All right. We'll
tell her together.

There's safety in numbers.

Uh, Lisa...

Lisa, can I walk you
to your next class?

Sure.

Have fun, you two.

Bye, guys.

Joanna, I'm sorry
about the homework.

That's O.K. You were
just trying to help.

Well, you know,
to make it up to you,

I am personally going to
help you with your homework.

Say, 7:00-ish, my house?

That sounds great, Zack.

Since you'll be hitting
the books hard all night,

let me take you to a movie
tomorrow as a reward.

That sounds great, too, Slater.

Bye, guys.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Ladies, I have got major gossip.

A senior girl invited a
freshman to the senior party.

Hoo-hoo! Très uncouth.

That girl has
committed social su1c1de.

Can you believe that?

Uh, well, Lisa...

Jessie has
something to tell you.

Yes, Jessie?

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa,
Lisa, Lisa, uh...

About Darren--

I don't know how
to tell you this, but...

Well, he's two years
shy of a driver's license.

Wait a minute.

You mean he...

I...

I'm the...

Aah!

Ding dong.

Oh, Joanna, good timing.

I just finished my homework.

Great.

So, where do we start?

Well, let's begin by, uh...

just sitting here.

O.K.

Now... let's, uh...

put our heads together
so our minds can touch.

Really?

It's a proven study technique.

Did you, uh, know
that cumulus clouds

are responsible for thunder?

Wow, are you this
good in all your subjects?

Ding dong.

Slater, what are you doing here?

In the middle of wrestling
practice, it dawns on me --

hey, I owe Zack 20 bucks.

But I'm broke, so I
came to work it off.

You don't owe me anything.

What a guy.

Thanks, Preppie, but I insist.

This isn't a good time.

It's perfect.

You won't even know I'm here.

♪ La da dee la ♪

[vacuum cleaner blasting]

♪ La da da dee ♪

♪ La da da da ♪♪

Slater.

Slater!

Slater!

Sorry.

Was that paper important?

No. It's just my homework
with every answer on it.

I'm really sorry about
that, Zack, but don't worry.

I've got the chapter on
icebergs and glaciers down cold.

We're doing just fine.

Why don't you go
clean the basement?

Sure.

Oh, come on, Zack.

Slater feels bad.
Let him help.

- But--
- No. No. No.

I don't want to interfere
with your study date.

You won't interfere.

Three minds are better
than two. Have a seat.

Well...

O.K., if you insist.

Uhh.

Hey!

Hey, Slater, have you seen Lisa?

She's late.

Well, it's only 9:00.

The movie doesn't
start for 15 minutes.

But we were supposed
to meet for the 7:00 show.

Sorry.

Slater, thanks for helping me
with my homework last night

and for vacuuming my car.

Well, now that the
hard work's behind us,

let's just relax and
have a good time.

Feet off the seats, pal.

Screech?

What are you doing here?

Let me see.

White gloves, flashlight,
polyester jacket.

Could I be an Usher?

Duh!

Get lost, screech.

All right.

I'll be watching you.

And remember, no hanky-panky.

Get out of here.

All right.

Good work, Screech.
Here you go.

O.K., Martha, here's your $20.

Go to it.

A.C., honey,

I thought you invited
me to the movies.

Huh? Who are you?

My son the kidder.

He just loves pulling Mom's leg.

Slater, is this your mom?

No.

I've never met this
woman before in my life.

How could you treat me
this way on my birthday?

Birthday? What?

We can go out another time
if it's your mother's birthday.

She's not my mother!

Keep it quiet down here.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Slater.

She's not my mother!

Oh, is he pulling
your leg again, Mrs. S?

The guy never quits.

Mrs. Slater, I'm Joanna.

Why don't you take my seat?

The movie's going to start soon.

Psst.

Sit up straight, honey.
Don't slouch.

- Hey, Zack.
- Yo.

Last night you went too far.

Just helped a mother
get together with her son.

What's so wrong about that?

Wrecking my date with
Joanna wasn't funny.

Like it was funny wrecking
my study date the night before?

Hey, you started it, making
me look like a jerk at The Max.

That's what you are.

What did you say?

You heard me.
Get out of my face.

What if I don't, punk?

Then I'll have to
make you, punk.

Hey! You guys!

Stop it!

What are you doing?

Stop!

Stop it!

Stop! Stop!

Good friends like the
two of you fighting?

What is going on here?

[both]
He started it.

Hey! I don't care
who started what.

I want to know what could possibly
come between your friendship that--

this is over a girl, isn't it?

He ruined my date.

No. He ruined mine.

Guys, guys, guys, don't do this.

I've been there. I know.

Look, 22 years ago,
Gary Gundell and I

were co-editors of
the Bayside Bugle.

What a team.

He'd write. I'd type.

Then Colleen
walked into our lives.

So what?

So what?

The next thing I know,
they were running the paper,

and I was back to being
just another cute copyboy.

We haven't talked since.

Is there a point to
this stupid story?

Yes.

Fellas, you can't let a
girl come between you.

Now I want you
two to shake hands

before I suspend you both.

- Sorry.
- Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

That's what I like to see.

Now get outta here,
you knuckleheads.

[both]
Bye, Lisa.

Darren. Hi.

Lisa, I waited for you
at the movies last night.

You didn't show or call.

I-- I know.

I'm sorry.

I don't get it.

Did I do something wrong?

Not at all. You're
a real nice guy.

It's just that...

Darren, when I invited
you to the senior party,

I didn't know you
were a freshman.

It just wouldn't be right.

You do understand, don't you?

No.

How could I understand?

I'm just an immature freshman.

Bye, Lisa.

- Joanna, I want to talk to you.
- I want to talk to you first.

No. I'm gonna do the talking.

Who you gonna go to the
party with, me or Slater?

I'm not going
with either of you.

You've ruined my first
week at a new school.

If you want to be
childish and fight,

do it over some other girl.

Hey, hey, hey!

Good to see you
two guys together.

I guess our little chat helped.

Welcome back, seniors.

Oh.

Did I forget to button
my pants or something?

Let them stare all they want.

You are my date,
and I'm proud of it.

They're just jealous.

How about a little
music to start things off?

Screech?

[music plays]

Guys, I'd like you to meet
my date, Darren Brooks.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Join us.
- There's plenty of room.

Sit down.

Hey, guys, has anyone
seen Zack or Slater?

Last I heard I heard they weren't
coming because of the fight.

Hey, what's up, guys?

I'm glad you're here.
Is Slater coming, too?

Slater who?

The guy that gave
you that fat lip.

Hey.

I just came by to wish you
guys a great senior year,

but I think I'll find
someplace else to sit.

- Oh, no!
- Oh!

I know. Senior parties
are unchaperoned,

and I'm not supposed to be here.

Thanks, Richmeister.
See you Monday.

[music resumes playing]

Come on, Darren.

It's time to embarrass all
those uncoordinated people.

Zack, you want to dance?

Next song.

I'll get something
to drink first.

I think I was here first.

I don't think so.

Let go before I
make you wear it.

Oh. You mean like this?

No.

I meant like this.

[music stops]

Well, if you did that,

then I'm gonna have to do this.

Aah.

Well,

then I just have to do this.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

What is going on here?

Nothing a black
eye couldn't fix.

Look at you. Look at you.

Look. You're all wet.

You, too.

Oh, man, we look really stupid.

I guess in that wig I looked
pretty stupid, too, huh?

At least it's good to see
you guys laughing again.

Look at his hair, man.

Hey, uh, Zack, listen,

I'm sorry about all
the fighting, all right?

Yeah, man.

It was really dumb.

Me, too.

Friends?

Friends.