04x13 - Isn't It Romantic?

[bunniefuu]

[bell rings]

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Valentine's Day is
my favorite holiday.

I got these roses from some girl
in front of the school,

and she doesn't even go
to Bayside.

Hey, guys, what's up?

I got you a Valentine.

You did?

Yes. Are those for
me? I love roses.

Happy Valentine's day.
How'd you know?

I got you a Valentine,
too, Zack.

And here's another.

Oh.

Uh, Kelly, can I borrow
two of those roses?

Sure, I guess.

There you go, girls.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

No Rose for me, Preppie?

I thought we were real close.

Slater, face it.
It's over.

I still love you, Slater.

That's the best
Valentine I ever got.

This is the first
Valentine's Day

that Screech hasn't
driven me nuts.

You know, he once gave me
a 20-pound chocolate heart?

20 pounds?
Where'd he get that?

From the zit-of-the-month club.

And last year,
you know what he did?

Is that when he shaved "I
love you" on top of his head

and stood
under your bedroom window?

No. That
was my birthday.

Last year, he climbed the
tree outside of my room

wearing diapers and wings
and said he was Cupid.

He looked like the dork stork
that forgot to fly south.

Maybe he's finally
given up chasing you

and he's going to leave
you alone all year.

I'm your living
Valentine, my darling.

So much for that theory.

What do you think?

You should get
a heart transplant.

That's, uh, pretty
cool, Screech.

Thanks, Screech.

This is the kind
of kiss from you I like.

Want to try the real thing?

Want to try a fist
in the stomach?

Some of us have been chasing
our dream girls for years.

Ah.

Kelly Kapowski.

Kelly.

Hi, Zack.

So, Kel, big dance
Friday night, huh?

I haven't asked
anyone yet, Zack.

Well, I just want you to know
I'm keeping my calendar clear,

if you know what I mean.

I know what you mean.
You want me to ask you.

You could do worse.

She could do better.

A lot better.

Sometimes you need an edge,

and sometimes it goes wrong.

I'm so glad I found you.

I have to talk to you.

Oh? I wonder
what it could be?

I don't want to go to
the dance with Slater.

What?

Listen.
It gets better.

I suddenly realized how
much I care for you, Zack.

Please rescue me from
this muscle-bound monkey.

Zack, I love you.

You're perfect in every way.

Jessie, what are you saying?

I'm saying Zack Morris is a 10.

Zack! Zack! Zack!

Kelly! Whoa! Hey!

Kelly!

Zack! Zack! Zack!

Zack! Zack! Zack!

Hey! All right,
just leave him alone!

I'm glad to see you.
Keep them away!

Just back off!
Back off!

He's going to the dance with me.

Zack: But you keep on trying.

Oh, to be that straw
sitting in my lady's cup.

Gladly would I be made
of plastic

and risk drowning
in a sea of cola

for the chance to touch
fair Kelly's lips.

Zack...

It was fun chasing Kelly,

but nothing could top
the feeling of catching her.

I'll never forget the night we
finally went to the prom together.

[romantic music playing]

Zack, will you dance with me?

Sure.

I don't know how to
thank you for tonight.

We're together.

That's enough.

Do you remember when you
asked me to go to the prom?

I didn't ask you. You were
desperate to go with me.

Me, desperate?

I'm glad you agree,

but you were afraid to commit.

Please! Not me.
You were afraid.

Hey, um, you, uh, have
a date for the prom?

Uh... no, not yet.

How about you?

Not exactly. You know,
I'm still narrowing it down.

You think that-- I don't know--

you perhaps would, uh...

Slater, are you asking me
to go to the prom with you?

Maybe.

You interested?

Maybe.

Maybe... pick you up
at 7:00?

No. I'll pick you up
at 7:00.

Slater: Sometimes you make
a real fool out of yourself

to please the one you love.

[ballet music playing]

I never made a fool out
of myself with the foxes.

No. Just
with the girls.

Hey, not every guy's
born with blond hair

and a chin you could
cr*ck walnuts with.

To catch babes, I had
to use my imagination.

Well, imagine them sending you
on a one-way trip to the moon.

Is that another way of saying
I'm out of this world?

Lisa, I love the
excitement of chasing ya.

Aah!

Is this a good time
to ask you about the dance?

Lisa, we're going to the
sweetheart dance together.

Ha. Over
my dead body.

Love does not give up so easily.

Screech, why don't you
find someone else?

[hiss]

Everywhere I go, he's
chasing me with that silly heart.

Well, I finally
got away from him.

Guess again.

Aah!

Gee, Lisa, I can't believe
we're finally on a date together.

Are you having a good time?

Are you having a good time?

Are you having a good time?

Are you having a good time?

Are you having a good time?

Yes!

All:
Yes!

Screech, where's your heart?

I had to go to the bathroom,
and I couldn't get it back on.

Some nerds are fighting
over it right now.

Fighting is a part of love.

Yeah, and the best part is
when you get to make up.

So, Lisa, when do we get
to kiss and make up?

When it rains
carrot juice in Burbank.

I'll be sure to check
the weather report.

We'll never make up
because we were never together!

Maybe not, but we were
close. Remember, my precious?

I'm making my move.

Don't do it. Screech,
love and science don't mix.

Did you ever see
Einstein with a chick?

No, Zack. Kelly's right.

This is my one moment in time.

[romantic music plays]

My darling...

Be my partner,
and this could be you.

So what do you say?
Pick you up sevenish?

Now that Kelly's picked Zack,

it's time to snatch
me up before I'm taken.

Will you go to the prom with me?

Yeah, I'll go.

You will?

I'll go with you
when worms have ears.

You're weakening!

Breaking up is really hard.

Boy, you can say that again.

Breaking up is really hard.

Screech, be quiet.

Screech, be quiet.

Now do you know why
I think you're a dork?

No. Why?

Slater, it was your
fault we broke up.

Get real, mama. You
started every fight.

- Did not.
- Did, too.

- Did not!
- See?

When you break up, you
can't even think straight,

as Jessie and Slater
just demonstrated.

Breaking up really hurts, too.

And sometimes it happens
faster than you realize.

I've got our entire evening
planned for Saturday.

You do? So do I.
You go first.

OK. We begin with a
romantic dinner at Cafe Diane

and then on to the ballet.

Ballet?

Jessie, get real.

You know how hard it was for
me to get these L.A. Raider tickets?

Football?

There's nothing romantic about a bunch
of barbarians kicking each other's butts.

Oh, yeah? Well, what's
romantic about a guy in pink tights

tippy-toeing around,
pretending to be a swan?

I should've known better than
to go steady with a sexist pig!

Oink, oink, baby.
If you don't like it,

go steady with some other pig.

Maybe I will!

Goodbye!

Can you believe her?

Ohhh...

Good morning, Zack.

No matter how hard you
try, you'll never forget me.

Yeah? I don't even
know your name, Kelly.

Gosh, she's pretty.

Oh, I've got to be strong.

Hi, cutie.

Kelly, is that you again?

Of course it's me, Zack.

I've been waiting for you.

Well, Kelly,
I've been jealous...

But I love you.

Wear this shirt, Zack.

I love the way it looks on you.

Gosh, Kelly, I love the way
everything looks on you.

Come on, Zack, just
give me one little hug?

I know something's going
on between you and Jeff.

Please just talk to me.

I don't know how to say this.

Jeff and I have been
working together, and...

Do you really like him?

No.

Yes.

I don't know.

It's just all happening so fast.

Kelly, what happened?
I thought you loved me.

I do love you, Zack.

It wasn't supposed
to be this way.

Not for us.

I don't want to hurt you
for anything in the whole world.

I thought we'd
always be together.

Zack, I'm so sorry.

I'll miss you, Kelly.

Hey, how about one last dance?

I'd like that.

♪ When all that I've
been living for is gone ♪

Can we still be friends?

Forever.

The hardest thing for a
teenager to do is get over his...

Or her...

Or her first love.

Fortunately, there are a
lot of other fish in the sea

who are interested in me.

Why don't you
jump in and find them?

I heard the pretty
ones are on the bottom.

Admit it. You just want
to see me in a wet t-shirt.

There's only one way to
get over a broken heart.

Did I break your heart?

Oh, it hurt bad, mama.

The pain of not having
you was horrible.

Slater, I'm sorry.
What did you do?

I hit on the first
hot chick I saw.

Girls:
You disgusting pigs!

We never said we liked
them as much as you guys.

They were just... there.

And so were we.

Oh, Sammy, you're
such a stud muffin.

I didn't know I was your girl.

Neither did I.
Would you like to be?

Oh, I thought you'd never ask.

Wait.

Ahh, forget the rules.

Johnny!

I've been looking
everywhere for you!

Screech?

Bambi?

Oh, boy.
I mean...

Sit down.

My, it's a lot brighter
here than I thought it'd be.

Good, then everyone
will see you.

Dream come true.

Gosh, you're pretty.

You have the most
feminine little hands.

Do not!

Do, too.

Do not!

Are you sure you want
to sit up front, Jen?

We always used to sit
in the back.

I know, but I like
to sit closer now.

[movie starts]

Yeah. I like
to sit closer, too.

Well, I hope you three don't think we
sat home, waiting for you to call.

You didn't?

No way. We went hunk
hunting. Right, girls?

- Yes.
- Right.

And we found some
real handsome hunks.

You're terrific, Kelly.

You, too, Jeff.

You're the nicest guy
I've met in a long time.

I better get going.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Descartes was
my favorite philosopher.

He said, "I think,
therefore I am."

Well, yes, but I ask,

if I think not, am I not?

I think not.
Don't you think?

Lisa, I was wrong about you.

Your brainteasers
are driving me wild!

Well, I've always
loved philosophy.

For example, what is art?

Are we art?

Is art art?

Other guys were nice,

but I have to admit, Zack,

I had the most fun
being pursued by you.

What about me?
I liked you, too...

Before Jessie threatened to b*at
me up if I didn't go out with her.

- What?
- Steady, girl.

You're fun, too, Slater,

but Zack will stop at nothing to
win me, and that's why he did.

Screech, behold.
My lady sits eating.

Oh, shove off, Morris.

I ignore the insults
of the ignorant

and approach my love.

Oh, to be that straw
sitting in my lady's cup.

Gladly would I
be made of plastic

and risk drowning
in a sea of cola

for the chance to
touch fair Kelly's lips.

Zack...

OK, Preppie, while you're
treading cola,

Kelly and I are
going to the beach.

Well, Kelly, this news
disappoints me verily.

I thought we could rehearse
more scenes from Romeo and Juliet.

Well, that's a great
idea, Zack. Sorry, Slater.

Wait.
I can't believe this.

You'd rather study
than go to the beach?

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

chump.

Fair Lisa...

Would that I were that blob
of ketchup lying on your plate...

So that you may dip your
french fries in my face.

Mmmfff!

Don't fade on me now, Zacky.

I got big plans for us.

Big plans?

Yeah. Mom's visiting
Dad in the slammer,

and we got the house
all to ourselves.

Sorry, Rhonda, but,
uh, I have a curfew.

I have to be home in 10 minutes.

- Well, that's all right.
- Ow.

How about a good-night kiss?

I have very strict rules
about that.

I don't kiss on the first date.

Oh. Lucky for us...

Oh!

I do.

Oh, Jennifer, I'm back.

You wanted to see me?

I certainly did.

It's rather warm in
here, don't you think?

Um...

Ahhhh...

That's much better.

Zack, I haven't been able
to stop thinking about you.

[weakly]
Really?

You like me, don't you, Zack?

Oh, yeah.

You're sweet...

Not like my husband.

Your husband?

Yes. He's a
professional wrestler.

Hulk Hogan says he
could be the champion,

except for his violent temper.

Violent... temper?

Uh, Jennifer, maybe I'd
better be leaving now.

Right. Let's run away tonight.

Oh, no. I'm sorry.

I'm not allowed to sleep
over on school nights.

Let's get married and
have lots of children.

I've got a girlfriend.

She can sit for us.

One girl is all I can handle.

Uh-oh.

Zack, do you want a girl...

or a woman?

Uh... I want to go
back to class.

Heh heh.

This girl would love
to go out with you.

Her name is Sue,
and besides being pretty,

she's got a great mind.

She loves to read,
so she's got a lot to say.

So, like, I figure
Danielle Steel must be writing

all of Jackie Collins'
romance novels

because, like,
they're all the same.

Well, they have to be
a little different,

or everybody would know.

[tires squeal in movie]

[g*nshots]

Woman in movie: Aah!

Have you read "Hollywood Wives"?

Jessie: You've got
to go out with Cassie.

She's got a great personality

and an insatiable
hunger for life.

You know, after the movie,
we should go to Antonio's

'cause I have this craving

for a big bowl of
spaghetti and meatballs.

[tires squeal]

[g*nshots]

Woman in movie: Aah!

Oh! I'm out
of popcorn!

Slater: You will
definitely like Terri.

She goes to my gym,
and she is hot.

She has an inner strength
that really grabs a guy.

[tires squeal]

[g*nshots]

Yeah! k*ll him!
k*ll him!

Hey, where you going, blondie?

The movie's not over.

Sit!

Screech: You never meet
my cousin Kimberly, did you?

A lot of guys think
she's cute if you like

that long-legged, gorgeous,
blonde ballerina type.

Oh, he's so mean.

Hope they catch him.

[tires squeal]

[g*nshots]

Woman in movie: Aah!

Oh, no!

How would you feel about
a burger after the movie?

I know a great place
where we can go.

We've sure shared a
lot of memories today.

We've had a lot
of great times together.

I'm sorry to see
Valentine's Day's go..

It's not over yet.

What do you mean?

Huddle, ladies.

[chuckles]

No way.

It's Valentine's Day!

Oh, all right.

Hey!

Happy Valentine's Day.