01x13 - The First Day

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Owl House". Aired January 10, 2020 - present.*
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Animated series follows Luz who stumbles upon a portal to a magical realm where she befriends a rebellious witch, Eda, Luz pursues her dream of becoming a witch.
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01x13 - The First Day

Post by bunniefuu »

I'm not ready for this, Eda.
Maybe we should go back.

Nah, kid. You got this.
Just do what we practiced.

But what if...
What if I mess something up?

Or what if I do something wrong?
What if I die?

Hey. Calm down, calm down.

I had to do the same thing
when I was a witchling.

It's like a rite of passage.

Granted,
I was a little more skilled.

Eda. Right, right. Sorry, sorry.

Now, get pumped.
Pumped!

Get ready.
Ready!

Now, go!

[Luz] From the humblest of
beginnings, a hero will rise.

I have traveled
from another realm

and trained
with a powerful witch

to master dark
and forbidden magic.

I am... Luz Noceda!

[chuckles] Confetti.

Right. The human
that wants to be a witch.

Against my better judgment, I've allowed
you to take this exam into Hexside.

But can you even do magic
with all your... human parts?

I sure can.

It's said
that humans can't do magic,

but I've discovered
a lost technique

- that changes everything.
- Hmm?

Spells cast with paper? I've
never heard of such a thing.

But is it enough
to pass the exam?

- Uh...
- Improvise.

Um, I can do other things.
What about... this?

[makes beeping sounds]

Ow, ow!
Eyelash! Eyelash!

[grunting]

Sorry, sorry, sorry!

Whoops! [yelps]

I failed, didn't I?

Believe it or not, I've seen worse.
[grunts]

Welcome, Luz, to Hexside School
of Magic and Demonics!

[muffled] Hurray.

[title music]

Mm, we gotta go back.
This was a mistake.

I'm messing things up again
and everyone will see, and...

Right, you gotta calm down.

What are you nervous about?
You've been to school before.

That's why I'm nervous!

At my human school, I didn't
make a good first impression.

This is a chance to be seen as
something other than a screw-up.

Hey, don't worry
about what those dorks think.

If you want my advice, walk into class
and punch the first kid you see.

To establish dominance.

Aw. I won't be doing that.
But thanks.

Last chance to back out, and
earn a new bad girl coven patch.

Quitting: It's like trying,
but easier.

Nah, I'll just earn it when I
quit showering. Bye!

Hold up! [grunts]

Just try not to be too much of a
goody loose shoes. You've got this.

Thanks, Eda. In fact, I have written a
heartfelt sonnet to commemorate this occasion.

Whoops! A gust of wind just got me.
See you after school.

Bye!

You're gonna do great, kid.
Thanks, puppet Eda.

Hey, Luz! Congrats on getting in.
And not being in the baby class.

Thanks, Amity! Up top.

Blech! Wow, my first day
at Hexside.

A chance to discover
my true magical potential.

And maybe meet a hot yet
vulnerable upperclassman.

- [King] Dream on.
- King?

- Boop!
- Why are you in my bag?

You're a free ride to the best
buffet in town!

Nyah! The trash cans here

are filled with
half-eaten gold!

Okay, but if anyone asks,
you don't know me.

Have a wonderful school day,
person-I-don't-know!

I really needed to hear that.

Luz!
Luz!

Hello,
fellow Hexoleos!

Hello, classmate.

You did it, Luz!

Sorry. I was covering
all my bases.

So, do you know
who those witches are?

Those are the heads
of the main nine covens.

Each one excelled
at a magic school like Glandus,

St. Epiderm and, of course,
Hexside.

Are you prepared to enter
these hallowed halls?

Hmm, that's what I'm gonna
figure out right now.

See you on the other side,
friends.

See you later, Luz.

You know what? I'm, uh,
I'ma just get rid of these.

[reporter] A terrible development
at Glandus High School.


Students and teachers were found
unconscious and without magic.


The cause remains unknown.

Ha! Take that, Glandus!

Looks like this year's Grudgby
match is going to be a forfeit.

[door closes]

Hiya, Princy-B!
Can I call you that?

Absolutely not.

Now, today we will be visited
by the Emperor's Coven

for a routine inspection.
If we want to impress them,

you need to join a coven track
before they arrive.

Actually, Principal Bump,
I've made my own schedule.

First, vet care
for mythical beasts,

then healing and dealing,

and then after lunch...

[laughs] Studying multiple tracks at once?
No one does that.

Then I'll be the first.

No you won't.

According to the rules,

a good witch
needs to hocus-focus.

You can only pick
one of the nine tracks.

And you do not want to embarrass
me in front of the inspector.

But all the tracks are so cool!

Is there some sort
of enchanted article of clothing

that can sort this out for me?

Well, there used to be but...

Oh, I'm so excited!

And now... I feed!

[student yells]

[shudders]

I don't know
if I can choose just one.

Then I'll choose one for you.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe!

Ah, yes! The potions track. You humans
are filled with liquids, right?

Oh, I guess I have always liked
pouring things into other things.

I expect you to be
on your best behavior.

Based on the costly repairs
from recent incidents,

we could really use a donation
from the Emperor's Coven.

Now, off to class.

[Luz screams]
The choosy hat!

It broke free.

[teacher]
Welcome to a new semester!

Let's get stirring!
Today we'll make... fog brews.

Begin!

See? Potions are fun!

You could spend
the rest of your life

studying this, right?

[loud thud]

[Luz] The oracle track.

The plant track!

Wow!

Ahem!

Sorry!
[chuckles]

Sorry.

[shudders]

[inhales deeply]

Ooh, boy! Stirring is the pits.

What else is on the schedule
for today?

Oh, man!

I'm sorry, elbow.

A crystal ball. Maybe it can show
me if I'm on the right track.

No, don't be tempted.

It's your first day.
Make a good impression.

Whoa!

You will be
in trouble very soon.

Wow! Wait, what'd you say?

Ahem!

But I wasn't studying
other subjects! I uh...

Fog brew!

Yeah. I figured
that wouldn't work.

Nyah.

King! Vouch for my character!

Uh, right! I don't know you!

[gasps]

What is this place?

This is a place where
all troublemakers go.

The detention track.

[gasps]

[Luz yelling] No!

Detention track? But this can't
be possible, I-I thought I...

Yes. Actual detention
still needs... repairs.

In the meantime, I am keeping all troublemakers
far away from the eyes of the inspector.

You may try for a new track
next year.

But I'll be back
in the human world by then.

Maybe you'll do better
in a human school.

Hello, fellow detentioners.
Room for one more?

I like the little
spikeys in your hair.

Hey! You all better be quiet

unless you want to scrub
the classroom again.

Hey, don't blame any of them. I'm
the one that started talking.

Oh, hurray. A hero.

Aw, farts.

Time to scrounge
through the trashc... [yelps]

[slurps]

[teacher] That's it!
I'm sick of someone

eating all the donuts
in the teacher's lounge.

I quit!

[grunting]

Nyah!

Are you
our substitute?

Substitute?
I ain't no desk jockey.

Look at his professional-looking tie!
He must be!

Nyah! Can it, fangs!

You don't know diddly dang
about squiddly squat!

[stammers] Uh, yes, sir!
Sorry, sir!

Obedience? Well, what is a teacher
if not an authority figure?

A king of children, if you will.

Yes! I am your teacher!
You may call me Mr. King!

All right, kids. Who wants to go on
a field trip to the astral planes?

- Yay!
- I do.

I do.

[Willow] Luz!

Oh, my gosh!
I missed you so much.

Let me squeeze your faces.

What's going on? We didn't
see you in any classes.

Principal bump put me in the
detention track for mixing magic.

The detention track? You
can't do anything in there.

You'll learn less
than you did before.

No, I'm better than this.

Please, you gotta help me
break out.

Yeah, don't worry. We'll get
you out, dead or alive!

Okay. Alive.

- Aw, you guys.
- [screaking]

It's the teacher.
Gotta go.

[gasps] It's you.
Shh.

[snoring]

Whoa.

What is this place?

This is the last room
you'll ever see alive.

Ah, just messing with ya.
I'm Viney.

I'm terrified. Um, I mean...
I'm Luz.

Thanks for standing up for us back there.
Not many people would do that.

Follow me!
I wanna show you something.

You're one of us
troublemakers now,

so you get
special access to...

The Secret Room of Shortcuts!

Whoa. Hey Jerbo! Barcus!
You can stop hiding now!

How do we know
she's cool, man?

How do we know
she won't turn us in?

- What do you think?
- [barks]

Barcus says
your aura is strong and silly,

like a baby's laughter.

Welcome!

Hah! I love secret rooms!

Where do the doors go?

So, you two
go to the same school now.

That doesn't change anything.

[sighs] Huh?

This place connects the
different parts of the school.

We found it after being thrown
in the detention track.

The witch who made it
is known as...

Lord Calamity.

They started
this troublemaker wall

and we added our names
in their honor.

This place is amazing.

I bet you guys can get
into so much trouble in here.

[chuckles] Sure, we can, but
we can also do so much more.

Remember, seeing the end
of a life

is the beginning of reading
a fortune.

We have to work backwards
from it to see the truth.

We're not allowed to study
any kind of magic.

So we study every kind
of magic in secret.

You actually like school?

Yeah. We might have
liked it too much.

[Jerbo] I tried mixing plant
magic with abominations.


[groans]

Bump was not thrilled.

Barcus makes potions
with oracle magic.


Argh!

[screams]

[Viney] Mixing healing and beast
keeping was slightly unconventional.


But Puddles was a great
assistant, dang it!


We all want to be in more
than one coven track!

But Bump just says
we need to focus.

Sounds like Bump's priorities
are out of whack.

[chuckles] I'm glad
you're one of us.

You made
a great first impression.

Would you like to add your
name to the troublemaker wall?

Aw!

[Willow] Luz?

We're here to get you out
of that horrible class.

Eh, they're probably looking
for some other Luz.

Maybe she already booked it.

She did say she was better
than this place.

Oh.

You think you're better than us?


No, no. It's not like that.

I just didn't think
I deserved...

I mean,
none of us deserve...

Jacques!

I should've known
you'd look down on us.

Everyone else does.

It's fine, I just...

I thought someone finally
understood us.

But... maybe you should
just leave.

- [Barcus whines]
- I understand.

[snoring]

Man, this guy can sleep
through anything.

I'm gonna test that theory.

No. We have to find Luz.

If only
these walls could talk...

Hey, guys.
Thank you, walls!

We found a way to get you out
to talk to Principal Bump.

We have an expert disguise!
Hop in!

It's got holes
for your gangly teenaged legs.

Yeah. That's right where
I belong.

And this way the inspector
won't see you either.

[gargling sounds]

Incredible.

[screams]

- Welcome to Hexside, Inspector.
- Greetings, Principal Bump.

If everything's in order, the Emperor's
Coven will be happy to cover your repairs.

Excellent.
Please come this way.

We've prepared a show with
some of our finest students.

[growls]

[grunts]

And that concludes
the presentation

from the abomination
track.

That was some
real Hexside magic, huh?

Yes, this is... good!

But let's see if your student
can put up more of a fight!

Yes, yes. Oh, wait. What?

Is, uh, this part
of the inspection?

Abomination, fight!

[growls]

The magic at Glandus High
was tasty.

But I hope yours
will be more filling.

Amity, stay back.
She's an impostor!

[hisses]

[grunts]

[grunting]

[groans]

Assume a coefficient of ten,
carry the two, solve for Y.

And that is the way to steal
a pie from a windowsill!

Also, you can eat trash.

Finally! Some skills
we can really use.

And now, for my next lesson...

- [loud growl]
- Seriously?

It's not even fifth period yet.

Excuse me!
Could you keep it down?

Mr. King's trying to mold
young minds here!

[growls]

Ugh. Only years
until retirement.

I can see that I'm interrupting,
so I'm just gonna...

[King yells]

- [sighs]
- Don't worry, Luz.

Once we talk to Bump, we'll get
everything sorted out.

I know, but what's the point
if people get hurt on the way?

That is a fair question.
Here's another question.

What the heck is that?

[screaming]

[Inspector Monster chuckles]

More cute morsels!

We may be cute,
but we're nobody's morsels!

[growls]

Time for a power-up!

[grunts]

I feel so weak.

Uh...

Eat this!

[screams in agony]

I'll get you
guys somewhere safe!

It burns! It burns!

Guys! I need your help!

Oh. You're back.

I'm sorry for
hurting your feelings,

but please listen!

Argh! Willow.

- [gasps]
- What happened to them?

Something horrible is loose
in the school.

Don't let it see us!

I think that's a
Greater basilisk.

I heard about them
in a class.

My cousin at St. Epiderm
said she saw one

but those things
should be extinct.

It must've att*cked
the other schools,

and now it's come for us.
We have to do something.

But if Bump catches us
mixing magic again...

He'd kick us out of school.

Hexoleos are out there
getting hurt

and we're the only ones
who can save them.

We're troublemakers, right?

So let's get out there
and make some trouble.

Hungry! Still hungry!

[growls]

[Luz] From humblest of
beginnings, a hero will rise.

I've trained
with the Secret Society

to discover the power
of mixing magic!

I am...

Dinner!

[screams]

Viney! Do the thing!
Do the thing!

Attagirl, Puddles! Jerbo, now!

On it!

Must find help.

Ooh!

[grunts]

It's all you, Barcus.

[barks]

[grunts] Where am I?

[barking]

What's he doing? What'd he say?

He's reading your palm,
and your future looks bleak.

[both gasp for air]

[both gasp for air]

[bird coos]

[Luz shrieks]

You did it! You were amazing!
You guys...

Are in so much trouble.

Leaving your homeroom, mixing magic
and... Is that a secret hideout?

[squeals]

Yeah, it is.

But let's think
about this, Principal Bump.

Why would kids
in the detention track

need a secret hideout?

I don't care to know
the ins and outs of rascality.

But if the Emperor's Coven can send
an actual inspector this time...

Okay. You need coven money.

But if you have to hurt
your students to get it,

what's the point?

They saved Hexside.

They should be allowed
to study what they wish.

- B-but...
- Do the right thing, you dingus.

All right. I'm smart enough to
know when I've made a mistake.

- Which tracks would you like to be in?
- [gasps]

Healing and beast keeping.

Plants and abomination.

[barks]

Then so be it.

But if any of you
cause more property damage,

I'm feeding you
to the choosy hat.

And you?

Oh, I still can't choose.

Maybe it's crazy but I wish I can
study a little bit of everything.

Whoa.

What's going on?

What is this?

Whoa-ho!

This is so cool!

Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna study everything!

You know, only one other student
wanted to study every track.

Unfortunately, she was never
given the opportunity.

[gasps, chuckles]

I shoulda guessed.

The coven denies knowing
about the basilisk,

but that won't stop me from
writing a very stern letter.

All right. Read chapters three to five on the
right way to scratch yourself in public.

Spoiler alert:
There's no wrong way!

[sighs] Days like these make
being a teacher all worth it.

- [Bump] You're not a teacher.
- Nyah?

Maybe not, but I care about these
kids, and nothing can change that.

[King squeals]
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