19x05 - Safe Space

[bunniefuu]

♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪

♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

♪ Ample Parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪

♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪

So, these guys
made fun of your weight

and made you feel ashamed?

Yes,
I was just trying to do my job

as a food critic,
and they all ganged up on me

and said I was fat.

All right, why don't you take me
back to what happened.

I was in the locker room...

And I was in my underwear,
and these kids walked by.

Then I looked in the mirror, and I
thought I looked kind of ripped,

and so I asked one of the kids

if he would take a picture
of m-me, and he did.

And I looked at the picture,
and I looked pretty ripped,

so later at home, I put the
picture up on my Yelp account,

and I typed in,
"Don't I look ripped?"

And I thought people
would be stoked on me.

Then this morning,
I saw the comments on Twitter,

and some people c-called me
names and said I wasn't ripped,

and they said I was fat,
and I didn't have muscles.

Internet m-m-made fu-fun of me
and

Well, Eric,
maybe you shouldn't have

put a picture of you in your
underwear up on social media...

Hey! You got
a f*cking problem, Mackey?!

N-no, P.C. Principal!

Because body shaming is
f*cking serious,

and I'm not gonna allow
that sh*t in my school!

Nobody should have to feel
that kind of shame.

Okay, sir, looks like your
total is $37.83. All right.

Okay, and would you like
to add a dollar donation

to help hungry kids
around the world?

Oh, uh, no,
th-that's okay.

Sorry?
I'm... I'm good.

I'm sorry, you don't want to
give the dollar to hungry kids?

Not today, thank you.
Okay, no problem.

Window's gonna come up and ask

if you're helping
the hungry kids.

Just hit "No, I'm not."

Oh, come on.

Try hitting it again.

It's the box
below the one that says,

"Sure, I'd love to help
however I can."

Ah, darn thing.
Sorry.

Most people give the dollar.
I can do this manually.

Look, I give
money to charity a lot, okay?

Oh, sure you do. I do! I just don't
want to every time I shop for food.

That's completely
understandable.

"Have customer speak on the"...
Oh, okay.

If you can just speak
into the voice decoder and say,

"I'm not giving anything
to the hungry kids."

I'm not giving
anything to the hungry kids.

Okay, that's got it.

So, with the ice cream,
the vodka, pizza pockets,

and nothing for hungry kids,
that's $37.83.

Oh, don't forget your change.

Look, if I gave money

every time I went
grocery shopping, I would be...

Thanks for shopping, sir.
Next, please.

d*ck.

Come on in, Kyle.
Have a seat right there.

You probably heard
that Eric here has been

dealing with some body shaming.

Uh-huh.

Well, Eric and I
have been talking,

and we've decided
it's probably best for him

to get off of social media.

Yeah, probably.

So, what we're looking for
is a student volunteer.

Somebody who can
put the things Eric wants

up on the Internet for him,

and also filter through
all the comments

and make it more
of a safe space for him.

Wait, what?

I said you were perfect
because you're really good

at getting all your schoolwork
done on time,

s-s-so you'd probably do
a really good job.

You want me to run Cartman's
Twitter and Yelp account

and only give him
the good comments?

That's right.
No.

Kyle, you know
what body shaming is, right?

How much it can hurt
someone's life?

All you have to do
is check out all the comments,

type out just the positive ones,
and give that to Eric on paper.

If he doesn't like
what people say on Twitter,

he can get off.

Okay, Kyle,
well maybe you'd like

two weeks detention instead.

Give me...
Give me detention.

You sure about that? Yeah,
I'll take the detention.

That's two weeks detention
for you, bud.

I'll see you at 4:00.

And when we said someone
should probably help Eric

by filtering out
any negative comments,

he mentioned you by name.

Is this a joke?

I'm not a joke!

Nothing funny about this,
Testaberger.

This is a big problem
in our country.

I'm not doing it. And that's two weeks
detention for you. Congratulations.

And so any comments
that seem inappropriate

or hurtful in any way,
you need to delete

and not include
in your daily report to Eric.

I wanted someone smart
and hardworking!

Do I gotta?
You want detention?

Well, if I get detention, I'll get
grounded. Then you start today.

Butters, it's your job to
make sure Eric has a safe space.

Oh, I'm sorry!

Oh, no, my... my fault.

Isn't it great
having a Whole Foods?

This is where
I come for lunch every day.

Got to eat healthy to stay fit.

Oh, sh*t. It's that guy.

And how are you today, sir?

Great.

Uh, listen, before you ring me
up, I just want to let you know

I'm not gonna be giving
extra money to charity,

so can we...
can we just skip that part?

Oh, no problem, sir.

They've updated the system so
it's a lot more streamlined now.

Find everything you need today?

Yeah, thanks.

There we go, and that's...

Okay, and would you like

to give a dollar
to hungry kids today?

No, I said no before.
Oh, that's right.

Okay, there's a picture
of a little hungry boy.

Will you just press
on his belly?

Owww! Owwwww!

Okay, that's got it.

So, with the no help
for hungry kids, that's $18.87.

Out of $20...

Your change is right there.

Just pull out the sandwich
out of the little girl's mouth.

This is not streamlined.

It's just the new
change dispenser, sir.

I... I-I can't...

Yeah, she's a hungry one.
You got to pull hard.

The sandwich isn't coming out.

Try putting your foot
on her face.

Ugh.

Have a nice day, sir!

I was having a nice day.

Eric, hold up.

There you are. You have
my social-media comments?

Yeah.
Yeah, right here.

I just finished this morning.

Mm-hmm. Oh, that's nice.
Oh, great.

This is all
the Twitter comments?

Yeah, and people commenting
on your Yelp page starts here.

Okay, nice.
Oh ni...

Oh, very enthusiastic.
This is so great!

Oh, Kyle!

You thought me having someone edit my
social media would make me look stupid?

You should see all the comments
I'm getting.

People are actually
really stoked on me now.

It's a pretty brutal job sifting
through all that darkness.

All right, everyone, listen up.
In order to better understand

the negative affects
of body shaming we have...

Hey, Leslie,
put a f*cking sock in it!!

We have a guest speaker today

who will challenge our
perceptions of physical beauty.

So, please welcome action star
and hero Steven Seagal.

You got a problem with me?

I'm your worst nightmare.

I have no fear of death.

More important,
I don't fear life.

I'm a big action-movie star,

and people are
pretty stoked on me.

And then I put a picture
of myself up on the Internet,

and I had my shirt off,
and I said,

"Do you think I'm ripped?"
and some people commented

saying I didn't look ripped,
that I was fat,

and they called me
Steven SeBoomBoom,

and so then I put
another picture on the Internet,

and I thought
people would be stoked on me,

but they said I looked like
a fat turd,

and they said I wasn't buff.

Body shaming isn't cool,

and if p-people shame you
on the Internet,

you have to make sure
that you stay...

you stay strong,

and tell everyone you're proud
of how you look. Like this.

♪ What you find, ahh ♪

♪ What you feel now ♪

Hey, Seagal.

Listen, that was
a really amazing talk

you gave to the kids.

Thank you.

I can see that you're
in a lot of pain, bro.

I've got someone
who I think can help.

So, I want you
to do for Mr. Seagal

the same thing that you're doing
for Eric Cartman.

But P.C. Principal,
I really don't have time.

This man took the time
to come to your school

and help spread
body-shaming awareness!

I think you can give him
a little of your time!

Yes, sir.

Find everything
you needed today?

Yes.

Okay, looks like
your total comes to $37.98.

Would you like to give a dollar
to help feed hungry kids?

Yes, I would like
to give a dollar.

You want to give a dollar?

Yes, I will.

Oh, wow! Okay!

So, that's $10 for the beer,

$4.20 in
chocolate-covered peanuts,

$26 in filet mignons,

and $1 for hungry kids
around the world.

On amount of donation,
it will say $10, $20, or $50.

Can you just press the $1 box?

Attention shoppers!

Somebody just joined
the one-dollar club!

Giving one whole dollar
to help feed hungry children!

Here's your T-shirt!

Oh, won't the kids be thrilled
when they get their piece

of that big, impressive dollar!

♪ For he's
a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's
a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good
fellooow ♪

♪ He ended world hunger ♪

Oh God, that's terrible.
Jesus.

Yeah, no,
I'm telling you, Tracy,

it's the greatest thing ever.

I'm getting all my Twitter
and Instagram comments on paper,

and the nasty mean stuff
all gets edited out.

Oh, my God. Ugh.

Yeah!
And the coolest thing?

Ever since I started
using this service,

all my followers are actually
way more stoked on me!

So cool, right?!

Butters! Aah!
What the hell is this?!

The last report you gave me
has a comment that says,

"This picture of you
b*rned my eyes, fatso."

I'm sorry, Eric. I-I guess
it slipped through the cracks.

I'm overloaded
with all the new people.

What new people?

I've got Demi Lovato
to take care of now,

and Lena Dunham just put
a picture of her assh*le

on Twitter and wants
only the positive comments.

Dude f*ck Demi Lovato.
She's f*cking hot.

She's not being fat shamed.

Am so!
But I don't care.

People just have to accept
my body the way it is.

Butters, I want this fixed
by tonight. You got that?

Okay, Eric.

♪ Amazing grace ♪

♪ How sweet the sound ♪

This is a place
where hope is scarce.

These people are hungry.

♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪ Little
Jo Jo here might not eat today.

But does that mean
it's okay for cashiers

to ask us for money while
we're in the checkout line?

It isn't right,
and it isn't fair.

♪ I once was lost ♪ Just 2 dollars a day
adds up to 62 g*dd*mn dollars a month

if you go to Whole Foods
as much as I do.

♪ But now I'm found ♪ Nobody should have
to feel the shame, the humiliation,

of being asked to add money
onto their grocery bill.

♪ Was blind but now I see ♪ Help now. Let's
make grocery stores a safe space for all.

Together, we can make a
difference.

Because charity shaming
hurts everyone.

♪ 'Twas grace ♪

You know, if there's
one thing I really respect,

it's plus-sized models
who challenge the idea

of what makes a woman beautiful.

These ladies are gonna be part
of a big ad campaign

for plus-sized lingerie,
and we want make sure

they're protected
from any harassing comments.

Do I have to, sir?

Hey, they're gonna be
putting themselves out there,

and all I'm asking you to do
is go through their social media

and delete the two or three
comments that are mean.

P.C. Principal,
I don't think you quite realize

how much negative stuff
I have to sift through.

I know it's a lot,
but I just really need you

to help
these plus-sized models.

And Vin Diesel.

Vin Diesel, too?!

Look, bro, You've done an
amazing job with Eric Cartman.

You have really
turned his life around,

and other people deserve
to be as happy as he is.

♪ Everyone likes me
and thinks I'm great ♪

♪ In my safe spaaace ♪

♪ My safe space ♪

♪ People don't judge me
and haters don't hate ♪

♪ In my safe space ♪

♪ Your safe space ♪

♪ Bully-proof windows,
troll-safe doors ♪

♪ Nothing but kindness
in here ♪

♪ You might call me a p*ssy ♪

♪ But I won't hear you
in my safe space ♪

♪ My safe space ♪

♪ Bully-proof windows ♪

♪ If you do not like me,
you are not allowed ♪

♪ In my safe space ♪

♪ My safe space ♪

♪ Look and you will see
there's a very select crowd ♪

♪ In your safe space ♪

♪ My safe space ♪

♪ People that support me
mixed in with ♪

♪ More people that support me
and say nice things ♪

♪ Rainbows all around me ♪

♪ There is no shame
in my safe space ♪

♪ My safe space ♪

♪ Bully-proof windows ♪

♪ I am going to tear down
your safe space ♪

♪ Brick by brick,
I shall smash it with glee ♪

What? Who is that?

♪ You cannot stop me
from getting inside ♪

♪ I am cold and I am hard
and my name... ♪

♪ Is Reality ♪

Oh, no, not Reality!
Somebody stop him!

I'll take care of him, Demi!
Pew, pew! Pew, pew, pew!

♪ You
can't ruin our lives, Reality ♪

♪ Our safe space
will keep you out ♪

Drat!

♪ We can face almost anything ♪

♪ But Reality,
we can do without ♪

Noooo!

♪ Bully-proof windows ♪

♪ Troll-safe doors ♪

♪ My safe spaaaaaace ♪

That was nice.

All right, thanks!
Have a great day.

Good afternoon, sir.

Oh, hello.

You might know Steven Seagal.

You want to play with me?

And this is Vin Diesel.

Oh, hello, gentlemen!

It'd be...
a really bad idea

for you to
charity shame me today.

These guys are here
to protect my safe space.

That's great!

♪ This little piggy
went to market ♪

♪ This little piggy
stayed home ♪

♪ This little piggy was
in "Fast and the Furious" ♪

♪ And this little piggy
goes direct to cable ♪

And this little piggy
just bought

$53 in beer and frozen pizzas!

Would you like to make
a dollar donation

to hungry kids today?

♪ Amazing grace ♪

♪ How sweet the sound ♪ Look around you.
What do you see?

People who are slim, skinny.

♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪ But not
everyone can have nice bodies like them.

Just imagine it... Putting
your pictures up on Twitter

just to have some people write
comments about your weight.

It happens.
All too often.

But it doesn't stop there.

♪ I once was lost ♪ People also can be
shamed for other traits viewed as negative.

Mike here was shamed
for not being a good recycler.

♪ But now am found ♪ And so, together,
we have created "Shameless America."

♪ Was blind but now I see ♪
So no one is ever labeled...

Tubby.

Bad with tools.

d*ke.

Butter, butter
dirty line-cutter.

♪ 'Twas grace that taught ♪ Let's work together
to create a completely shameless America.

♪ My heart to fear ♪ Because
shaming hurts everyone.

"Hey, Demi Lovato,
I bet your vag*na has a"...

Oh... oh, God...

Oh, that's ter... horrible!

Geez. Delete.

Delete that, too.

"I'd like to stick my wiener in
those fat rolls of"... Oh God!

Delete. "You aren't fat,
but my d*ck is."

Oh, God.

Ha ha!
Aaaah!

So, you're the one trying
to destroy me, eh?

What?!

You little sh*t!
Keep me out, will you?!

I don't know you, sir!

You can't stop me!

I'm going to k*ll you!

Butters!
What are you doing!?

W-well, the man!
The man is gonna get me!

And some
chocolate-covered almonds...

Vanderpump sangria mix...

Yeah, I'm...
I'm a little tired

because I'm actually hosting a

huge fundraiser
for my charity organization.

That I'm sort of the head of.

That's great, sir.
Ice-cream sandwiches...

Yeah, we're gonna raise
a lot of money.

Celebrities are coming.

Demi Lovato has given $100,000
for the event.

Wonderful.
Rotisserie chicken...

Oh yep, got to have
that Frank's Hot Sauce.

I just thought, you know,
a fundraiser dinner

was sort of the appropriate
place to ask for donations.

That's great, sir.

Okay, your total's $37.85. And
would you like to give a dollar

to help put a hamster
through college?

What?! Did you not hear
anything I said?!

I'm... I'm doing all this stuff!
Not a problem, sir.

If you could just press the "No" button, and tell
the little hamster he's not going to college.

Just look him
right in the eye, sir,

and say,
"Not today, buddy."

Actually,
my big fundraising gala

is helping put hamsters
through college, too.

Oh, really? Wow!

Did you hear that, Banjo?!
You've got support!

Well you have a nice day sir,

and thank you so much
for being so generous.

You're welcome.

Hey Kyle, you want to see

what people on the Internet said
about my d*ck pic?

Everyone's pretty stoked on it.

There's more than two people
on the Internet!

The man! The man,
the man, the man, the man!

The man!
He's gonna get me!

He follows me everywhere!

Did you see the man?!

Butters, what are you doing?!

He's gonna get me!

Dude, Butters,
you're seeing things!

Sifting through
all the horrible stuff

people say on the Internet
is making you lose it.

The world is darkness!
The man is coming!

Dude, Butters!

And what color is
the little ball

the kittens are playing with?

Run for your lives,
you little f*ckers

The man is coming!

Butters, listen to my voice.

The man is gonna get me
if I don't stop.

Then stop, dude.

Butters,
all this isn't worth it.

Just take the detention, dude.

Yaaaah!

All right, everyone,
thanks for coming

to help raise money
to stop shaming

and put hamsters
through college.

What'd he say?

And now a woman who knows
about shaming firsthand,

supermodel Gigi Hadid.

All right,
everyone enjoying themselves?

How's that filet mignon?

Good! Really nice!
Great!

You know, we're all here
for a really important reason.

Because everyone should have
a safe space wherever they go...

Randy! Randy, we've got a problem.
What?

...But of course, that takes a lot of effort...
Reality's here. He's trying to crash the party.

...and a lot of resources. Reality?!
Who let him in?! sh*t!

Our hope is that
with your donation...

Ooh, nice wine, huh?

What do you think of that?

You know what I think
of your pretty flowers?

There you go!
How do you like that?

All right, buddy, let's go.

I sh*t on all of you!

Seagal!

f*ck you f*ck you f*ck
you f*ck you f*ck you!

Give me that, you stupid bitch.

What a lovely charity event.
I suppose you're all feeling

pretty good about yourselves,
hmmm?

What have you done?

You've raised $300
by spending $500,000

on Filet Mignon
and crystal glasses.

Look at you.
Vin Dipshit

You say fat shaming is wrong,

so in response
you show off your abs.

You're the one fat shaming,
idiot!

What's the matter
with you people?

You're sad that people are mean?

Well, I'm sorry, the world isn't

one big liberal-arts
college campus!

We eat too much. We take
our spoiled lives for granted.

Feel a little bad about it
sometimes.

No, you want to put all
your sh*t up on the Internet

and have every single person
say, "Hooray for you!"

f*ck you.
You're all pricks.

And I've got news for you.

While you've been sitting here
trying to feel good,

the little boy
who sucked all your sh*t

is about to die from it!

What?

Oh, my God.

What have we done?

Jesus.
I-I didn't even think...

I guess...
I asked too much of one kid.

Listen, everybody...

I think there's a way to try and
make this right for everyone.

♪ Amazing grace ♪

♪ How sweet the sound ♪
To date, Shameless America

♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪
has raised over $40,000.

With that money, we are putting
more and more iPads

into these people's hands.

♪ I once was lost ♪ With iPads, these
people can finally help more Americans

get rid of negativity
on their social media.

♪ But now am found ♪
Oh, thanks, Jo Jo.

I'm shame-free now,
and you can be too.

♪ Was blind but now I see ♪ For just $1
a day, one of these beautiful children

will protect you from trolls and
make your Internet a safe space.

♪ 'Twas grace that taught ♪ We won't rest
until America is completely shameless.

The world can be brutal.

♪ My heart to fear ♪ But Shameless America
is going to continue to take steps

♪ And grace my fears relieved ♪ to make
sure everyone has a safe space forever.

Are you sure
this is a good idea?

Uh-huh.

♪ How precious ♪

Butters, listen to my voice.

The man is gonna get me
if I don't stop.

Then stop, dude.

Butters,
all this isn't worth it.

Just take the detention, dude.

Yaaaah!