22x07 - Nobody Got Cereal?

[bunniefuu]

[ Bell jingles ]

Oh, my Gosh!
Oh, honey!

I can't believe
you went to Jared!

This is a new beginning
for us, darling.

I'm just so excited
for our future.

[ ManBearPig roars ]

[ Man scream ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Man: Ooooh, yeah!
Take that, cop!

You want some, too, sheriff?!

Yeah! There you go, bitch!

Another dead cop!

And another one!

Yeah, you want some,
too, copper?!

You want a piece of this,
you god damn pigs?!

Officer, you have
to let us out of here!

We don't have much time!

Yeah, that's the last cop.
Let's get outta here!

Sir, you have to listen to us.

ManBearPig is real.

Oh, God.
Here we go again.

"We gotta stop ManBearPig!

We gotta take it serious!"

But we do!

ManBearPig is gonna
k*ll everyone,

and he is not gonna stop!

Oh, well, then I guess

I don't have to do
anything about it.

Can you get off
your god damn video game

for five [bleep] seconds
so we can have a conversation?

Where the hell is Al Gore?
Why isn't he coming for us?

Nobody's coming for us, Stan.
They think we're murderers.

And that's why we have
to break out of here ourselves.

Excuse me, officer?
Shut up.

I don't wanna hear anything
about ManBearPig

and how we're all doomed.

No, it's not that.
It's just...

I noticed you're still
riding you're horse

all the way back to camp.

Yeah. Trains and stagecoaches
don't go to my camp.

No they don't, but...

you can use cinematic mode to
make it way easier on yourself.

♪♪

What the hell
are you talking about?

[ Screaming in distance,
explosions ]

[ Siren wails ]

All right, everyone.

I realize
a lot of people have d*ed

and most of the roads
have been destroyed

due to all the fires,
so I'd like to thank you all

for coming to tonight's
symposium --

"When Should I Start to Worry?"
[ Sirens wail in distance ]

I'd like to make this
an open discussion

and hope we can
all participate in ways

that give better insight.

Yes, Mr. Clarkson?

I'm pretty sure
there's a ManBearPig.

And I'm fairly certain that
he has eaten two of my children

and destroyed our home.

When should I start to worry?

That's an excellent question.

There's definitely evidence
that all the death

and destruction around us is due
to a ManBearPig.

But no exact correlation
to a ManBearPig.

Definitely not,

and that's why we are all here,

to try to pinpoint
when should I start to worry?

I think that the time
to start worrying is coming.

I don't know if I believe
in ManBearPig or not,

but I do know that I'm open

to the idea
of starting to worry.

[ Scattered applause ]

I think Stephen echoes
a lot of our feelings right now.

Arghhh!

Foolish mortals!

Your time is nigh!
Face your end!

Um, it looks like
Satan is here.

Should I start to worry?

[ Scattered applause ]

[ Crickets chirping ]

[ Door rattles ]

[ Banging on door ]

Stan?!

We broke out of jail, Dad.

Come on.
Get outta sight.

Cartman tricked the guard.

We all ran home to be
with our parents.

Where's Mom?
Your mom's been out

trying to find you a lawyer
and a therapist.

We've been doing
all we can, son!

Dad, that thing we saw
take Ned --

It was ManBearPig.
It was real.

What are you talking about.
It was just a bear.

No, Dad! It's --

Why do you keep
looking at the TV?

What? Why?
I dunno. What?

You've been playing
"Red Dead Redemption"?

A little bit!

I mean, when I'm not doing
all the stuff for you.

I thought you were working
on getting me out!

Sorry!
I needed a little break.

You're all the way
to Saint Denis?!

That's like 40 hours
of gameplay!

How could you --
Are you high right now?

I'm a little high, yes!

Oh, my God.

Oh, what?!
I'm sorry!

I'm sorry I needed to decompress
with all this sh*t going on.

I can't believe you would
get high and play video games

while your son is in jail!

You're such an assh*le!

Well, at least I'm not
a school sh**t!

It wasn't me!
It was a demon named ManBearPig!

Oh, whatever!
"ManBearPig! ManBearPig!"

You sound like
your freakin' grandpa.

Yeah, because I learned a lot
about -- Woah, woah.

What are you talking about,
"I sound like grandpa"?

He's been talking about
ManBearPig coming

since I was [bleep] 14.

It's nothing new.

♪♪

Someone made a deal with it...
a long time ago...

Do you know how to craft
stamina tonics?

Mom?

♪♪

Dad?

♪♪

I don't know
if you can hear me.

I feel so alone right now.

I feel like the whole world
is falling apart

and somehow I'm supposed
to do something but...

I don't know
what that is anymore.

Al Gore: Fear not.
Do not give up on yourself.

You must keep believing.

Mr. Gore?

Where have you been?!

It's me. Al Gore.

Yeah.
Where have you been?!

You cannot lose faith,
my child.

Even though everyone
is ripping on you.

Even though
they don't believe you,

and they're saying
you're just seeking attention

because you lost
the presidency,

you have to be strong.

What happened to you?!
Are you dead or something?

No! Not dead!

Just merely using
a flashlight on glass

to apply the Pepper's
ghost technique.

Wait, what?

Oh, God damn it!

You see my point?

Things aren't always
as they appear.

You have to stay strong,
my little crusader.

I can't do this alone.
I need help.

I did, too.

Didn't get it.

What more do you want from me?

I've atoned for my mistake.

I'm sorry that we were
getting a lot

of different information
at the time.

You know, even you were wrong

about a lot of the things
you said would happen --

What's that?

Nothing.
I didn't mean --

See ya later, alligator.

No, no, no, no!
I'm sorry!

I am sorry, please!
I'm cereal!

I didn't mean
to say you were wrong,

just that some
of your predictions

didn't happen -- Oh, yeah.

You're real cereal.

Please, please!
Please!

I'll do anything!
I just want everyone to be safe!

All I was doing was trying
to be your mentor.

You know who my mentor was?

Me! Al Gore!

Hello, Al Gore.

[ Gasps ] It's him!
Just in time, too.

Thanks for coming in my time
of crisis, Al Gore!

[ Police radio chatter,
sirens chirp ]

Sorry to call you down, sir,
but this is a bad one.

Oh, no.
That's fine.

I finally arrest
four school sh**t

and can play some
"Red Dead Redemption,"

and then I get a call
about another school sh**ting.

This one really doesn't look
like a school sh**ting, sir.

Five different witnesses
say it was definitely...

ManBearPig.

God damn it!

There is no such thing as
a ManBearPig, you got that?!

We're working with facts here,
not goofball theories!

Yes, but, sir,
all the forensic scientists

say there are bear
and pig footprints --

[Bleep] scientists!

Why are you trying to
figure out what's going on

with scientists?!

The only thing
I want to know is

who committed
this school sh**ting

since our
school sh**ting suspects

are in jail!
Detective!

Detective, we just got word
from the station.

The four sh**ting suspects
broke out a while ago.

Oh, well, there you go!
It was them again!

Gee, I didn't need
any freakin' scientists

to figure that out, did I?

Get 'em outta here!

Now how the [bleep]
did those kids

break out of my jail?!

Jenkins said they tricked him.

Said they could show him a way
to fast travel

in "Red Dead Redemption"
by upgrading his camp,

and then they just took off.

There's a way to fast travel
if you upgrade your camp?

Jesus.

You better start
from the beginning.

Reporter: More damage
and destruction today

as the death toll rises
to the hundreds.

Some see this as evidence
ManBearPig might be real,

while others say ManBearPig
is a fabrication

for political gains --
[ ManBearPig roars ]

[ Reporter screams ]

Stan:
Grandpa?!

[ Sternly ]
What did you do?

Oh, Billy.
[ Chuckles ]

My grandson come to visit!

This isn't the first time
ManBearPig has shown up, is it?

What happened?

Billy, I have Alzheimer's.

I don't even remember
what happened this morning.

Cut the sh*t, Grandpa.

You people knew.
You made a deal with that thing.

We thought we'd be dead by now!

We didn't think we'd have
to live to see the consequences!

Aw, great! Just tell
the whole world, Margret!

Why did you old people
make a deal?!

We had a right to be happy,
too, ya know!

And you just signed away
the future?!

We didn't want to have to give
the demon his stuff back!

What stuff?!

All our cars.

And premium boutique ice cream.

You couldn't control yourselves

so now that thing is here
to k*ll all of us!

Good [bleep] job, grandpa!

Kyle, come on, we've got to go.

Go where?

I had a vision, Kyle.
Al Gore's ghost visited me.

Al Gore isn't dead.

Well, his ghost
came to me, Kyle.

He said he had a plan,
and we need to go.

Are you in or not?

Mrph rmh rmphm?

[ Crickets chirping ]

We shouldn't be out here!

We're wanted by the police.

Shhh.
What was that?

Mrph rmhmhm rm.

This is where Al Gore
told me to go.

[ Growling ]

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

[ Roars ]

It's Satan!

What are you doing here, Satan?

I was told to come here
by the spirit of Al Gore.

Us, too.
But why?

Remember...

even though I am gone,
you must still work together.

Work together how?

I'm not talking to you.

I'm talking to the ones
who are actually cereal.

You cannot lose hope.

There is still much
you need to know.

[ g*nf*re, screaming from a TV ]

Oh, you'd better not...

You bitch!

[ Screams ]

You're playing
Red Dead Redemption,
aren't you?

So? What of it?

What did I tell you about
playing on my save game, Maggie?

No. No. This is my life,
now, Harrison Yates.

I started over,
with me own save game.

What are you talking about?

See for yourself.

You and all your talk
of wanting your own life.

I wanted something new, too!

I started over in the snow,

and worked my way up to
the new g*ng leader!

I have thousands
of dollars of me own.

I built a house
with John Marston.

I'm helping his family, now.

You [bleep]ing slut!

That's right, Harrison Yates.

And what have you got?

A basic starter horse
and the $20 gambler's hat

you won in a poker match.

I'm twice the man you are, now!

Don't you talk to me like that!

I'll talk however I want!

I've completed every
hunting side mission,

found seven legendary animals.

Found them where?

I'm not telling.

You wanted your own life,
and now, you got it!

Maggie!

[ Cries ]

And in conclusion, let me just
say that you are the future.

You cannot give up hope.

I brought you all together
because I believe in you.

Okay, but what do
you want us to --

And sometimes, believing is
all that we need to be cereal.

Kyle:
Credits?

[ Light applause ]

Did you guys like my movie?

What are you doing?

Exactly. I'm trying
to get you to ask,

"What would Al Gore do?"

Make a movie starring you.

Yes -- to get you all
to not give up.

To get you to fight!

You don't understand.
There is no fight.

A deal was made.
We do not know by whom.

But this demon
has grown stronger,

and no mortal
can do anything to stop him.

No mortal, but what about you?

Why would I help mankind?

Satan, come on.

Are you really gonna stand there
and not say you appreciate

all the nice things humans
have done for you lately?

I mean, not sure
if you've noticed,

but we're pretty much doing
things your way up here.

I... must admit,
people up here on Earth

have been doing a lot of
my work for me lately.

Maybe... maybe it is time
I did something for them.

Grampa: We were all young and
foolish back then, Billy.

We didn't think
about the future.

We just wanted things.

This creature shows up,
and it seemed like a good deal,

for everyone in town.

You didn't stop to think about
what it would mean for us?

Ah, Billy,
it's not that simple.

We thought about it. But our
town was so tiny back then.

We just -- We wanted nice
things other people had.

And you didn't give two shits

what it would mean
for your grandchildren.

I didn't think
I'd have grandkids.

I didn't even want children

That's why I always came
on Gram Gram's tits.

[ Groans ]

But then, one night, I'm having
sex with your grandma,

and she sticks her finger
in my ass.

She had sometimes
licked my ass before,

but this was the first time
she used her finger,

and I came inside her
like that.

I pulled out,
and your grandma was like,

"Did you just come in me?"

And I was like "Well, you stuck
your finger in my ass."

And that's basically
why you're here, Billy.

This is supposed to
make me feel better?

I'm just saying that I wasn't
thinking about the future

because your father was supposed
to be nothing but dried up crust

on Gram Gram's titties.

You people made a deal
with ManBearPig.

How? Where?

It doesn't matter, Billy.
It's too late now.

Tell me how the deal happened,

so that I can try
to make it go away.

[ Screaming ]

[ ManBearPig roars ]

No! No!!

Satan:
ManBearPig!

♪♪

[ Roars ]

♪♪

[ Car alarms blaring ]

♪♪

[ Roars ]

[ Growls ]

♪♪

♪♪

Now watch...
[ Growls ]

[ Screams ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Roars ]

[ Coughing ]

Satan!

H-Hey. Hey kids

[ Coughs ]

I'm sorry.

No. Satan,
you can't die.

Everyone dies.

I just wish
I could have helped you.

[ Coughs ]
Oh, God. It hurts.

We can't do this
without you Satan.

You have to.
You have to keep trying.

If you can't stop ManBearPig,
how can we be --

You have to keep trying!

[ Coughs ]

You... have to believe.

[ Grunts ]

♪♪

Mmph.

Satan's dead.

[ Bell tolls ]

[ Crying ]

Come back.
Come back.

[ Ding! ]

Goodbye.

♪♪

Dude, this is
pretty [bleep] up right here.

And now
on Park County Cable Access,

"Should We Start to Worry?"
with your host Jim Kimble.

As our town continues to burn
to the ground,

Satan has been slaughtered
and sent to heaven.

Should we start to worry?

Joining me now, an expert
on our county resources

and preparedness, Alec Vaughn.

Alec, should we start to worry?

Jim, I think
we should definitely consider

starting to worry.

Satan was one of the most
powerful entities,

supposedly, in the universe,

and ManBearPig annihilated him
like a bitch.

I don't think we should
waste any more time

underestimating the importance

of beginning to think about
starting to worry.

Also joining us is the former
Vice President, Al Gore.

Mr. Gore, do you believe
it's time for us to deliberate

the process
of starting to worry?

[ Echoing ] If by worrying,
you mean getting cereal,

then an emphatic "yes!"

I don't think
there's any more room

for not considering
underestimating the importance

of beginning to start
the process of mulling over

the conceptualization
of starting to worry.

And the time to do it is...
very soon.

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm being a spiritual mentor.

These people are
depending on me.

No, they're depending on me!

I'm depending on you, goofball!

[ Screams and sirens wailing ]
Aah!

All right,
looks like we're clear.

I can't believe it's
the weekend, and I'm at school!

This is the best place to hide.

Why? Of all the places
we could hide,

why do I have to sit here
in school?

Mmph!

Where's the last place anyone
would think we would hide?

The scene of our supposed crime,
dummies! We're safe here.

I'd rather be in jail
than in school.

[ Door knob rattling ]

Mm mmph!

Guys? Guys!

Stan!

Guys, thank God!
Just stay right there, Grandpa!

I know all about the deal.
I know what we have to do.

How'd you find us here?

I figured you guys
were hiding somewhere.

This is the first place
I thought to look.

Mm-hmm!

Yeah, I guess we're dummies,
huh, Kenny?

Yeah, I guess we're dummies.

Guys, listen --
My stupid grandpa

and a bunch of other old people
made the deal with ManBearPig.

It's here because
of their greediness.

Grandpa:
Everyone's greedy!

Shut up, Grandpa!

I know where to go,
but I need your help.

I'm going to face ManBearPig
and put an end to this deal.

Are you crazy? We just saw
ManBearPig take down Satan.

What the hell are we supposed to
do against it?

We have to try.

[ Siren wails ]

Man: Attention school
sh**t... again.

We have you surrounded... again.

Come out with your hands up!

We just sat in school
for nothing.

Listen!
We know what to do now!

Drop to the ground and put
your hands on your heads.

No, I need to face ManBearPig.

We have orders!
You're coming with us!

Yates:
Belay those orders!

♪♪

I've been a fool
denying ManBearPig's existence,

and I didn't realize it
till I went home.

My wife... had started
a new life without me.

I wanted to give up,

but instead,
I robbed a bank in Saint Denis,

and I went to an island
north of Cuba.

After I came back, that's
when it all caught up with me.

All the stagecoaches
I had robbed,

all the horses I had stole --
for what?!

We're nothing if we don't
believe in each other!

And God damn it, it's never
too late to start trying

to do the right thing.

You think you know
what that is boys?

Yes, I do.

We're going to face ManBearPig

and put an end to this deal
once and for all.

Okay, sign here...
and here.

These documents state
merely that you've been granted

power of attorney by your town
and that you wish to attempt

to void the current agreement.

Kay...

Since this is a renegotiation,

you agree that ManBearPig
has right to compensation

for termination,
and you will give up all rights

to specified assets.

Yes. Yes, we agree to give back
cars and ice cream.

[ ManBearPig grunts ]

Uh, let me confer
with my client.

[ Grunting softly ]
Uh-huh. Got it. Yes.

My client says that he --

[ Grunting softly ]

Kay. Uh, mm-hmm.

ManBearPig has no interest

in you giving up cars
and ice cream.

Well, what's he want everyone
to give up?

[ Crowd murmuring ]

There! There he is!
There he is!

Is it over?!

Um, he says he'll never
come back again, but...

we have to give up soy sauce
and Red Dead Redemption 2.

All: Ohhhh!

Just plain rice?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Um, could we possibly talk about
restructuring a new deal?

Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

No. No. Just, like, can we do,
like, a renegotiation?

All right, sign here and here

that you are entering
a renegotiation with ManBearPig.

- Where do I sign that?
- Right there.

Okay.
Yeah, I thought so.

Shut up, Grandpa.

Man: And sign here
that ManBearPig has rights

to the lives of all children
in third world countries.

Kay, got it.

And you agree
to ignore ManBearPig

until he returns in five years,

in which time the carnage
will be a thousand fold.

For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail

Arghhh!

Foolish mortals!

Your time is nigh!
Face your end!

Um, it looks like
Satan is here.

Should I start to worry?

[ Scattered applause ]