01x20 - Badlands

[bunniefuu]

There are too many of them.

Keep this channel clear.

Six, do you really expect us to get to back to Providence by 1800 hours in this slowpoke convoy? Just jet the cargo, will you? We'd be there by now.

Except we're transporting unstable nanites, which have to be kept at or below sea level.

Even one wrong bump, and the whole thing could go off.

And if it blows, you're on a battle transport.

Meanwhile, we're stuck in this delivery truck, carrying whatever.

What are we carrying, anyway? Toilet paper.

One, everyone in this mission has a part to play.

Seriously?! Toilet paper?! And, two, we're under strict radio silence.

Six out.

Radio silence, convoy security protocols, scheduled bathroom breaks, and they won't even let me drive.

So many rules all for what Some nanites? Unstable nanites the most dangerous nanites on earth.

Well, at least there's not an anti-tunes order! That radio's ancient.

You'll be lucky if you can get it to play static.

Oh, I think I can manage to crank some bass out of it.

Not bad! What?! I said, "not bad!" Bobo, slow down! We can't see anything! I got one good eye that's closed half the time, and now you're worried?! And we lost the convoy.

Relax, blondie.

We'll catch up.

That's why they invented speeding.

so make way to start the revolution make way we're gonna have fun tonight ♪ make way to start the revolution ♪ ♪ so make way ♪ so make way to start the revolution make way to start the revolution so make way Good they're right on time.

What do you think of the spyglass? Am I taking this pirate thing too far? - I haven't become a cliché, have I? - No, Gatlocke.

It fits you.

Oh, good! Because if you'd said, "yes," I would have thrown you off the cliff.

No, seriously, I would have.

Ladies and gentlemen, the convoy is directly beneath us.

Wait.

Do we have any ladies in my g*ng? No ladies? We need to get with the times.

Let's see about getting some ladies in the g*ng.

Gentlemen, grab your weapons, charge up the scramblers, and att*ck.

They're jamming all channels.

We're cut off, sir.

Ready the ion-cannon thingumabobs! Fall back! Cover the cargo carriers! You know what this means, don't you? - We're lost? - No.

It means no one is around to tell me I can't drive.

Hand over the wheel, Bobo.

You can't drive! Radio's broken, so we can't even call for help.

We don't need help.

We're not lost.

Men don't get lost.

We go exploring.

And why should you care if I drive? Unless you made some kind of deal with Six.

You'll have to ask my bank account.

Defend the cargo! Don't let them get to the trailers! As of this moment, the unstable nanites have officially been jacked.

Give me a reason.

Give me one good reason.

I'm only kidding.

Like I need a reason.

We'll regroup outside the canyon! Get us out of here now! Sir, they got the cargo.

I'm aware of the situation.

Rex wasn't with the convoy when we were att*cked.

Fix the radio and find him.

Of all the days to disobey orders.

Pit stop successful! This soda is expired.

I know! They were practically giving it away! Agh! This tastes like feet and not the clean kind! Fine more for me, then! By now, they must've noticed that you're gone.

No one's going to miss a delivery truck.

Hurry up! Go faster! Ladies, how's it going today? Yeah, we roll in a big truck.

Other guys may flake on you, but me and Noah we deliver.

I think we actually had a chance back there.

Gentlemen, congratulations on a job well done.

Your commitment to Oh, forget it.

Open the truck! Communications are still down, sir.

- We can send a cycle for help.

- No.

I want everything available searching the area.

- For the attackers? - For Rex.

He's not transporting what he thinks he is.

Given the circumstances, he should probably know.

Let's just hope he didn't get himself lost.

Okay I think we might be lost.

Whoa, whoa.

Noah gets the wheel? What about me? Think about it, soda jerk.

My mouth still tastes like week-old socks.

Plus, goldilocks has a license, and you don't.

But mostly the soda thing.

- I think I know where we are.

- Don't sweat it.

Who's gonna miss a truck full of toilet paper? Hey, I've been there ain't pretty.

Feel that? It's quilted.

This is the good kind.

But I won't be able to really enjoy it until I have those nanites! - Gatlocke, I found something.

- Something is good.

Our scout took this image when the convoy left the proving grounds.

I like how he framed this sh*t.

See the rock formations in the foreground here? But this is from the canyon.

Where'd the white delivery truck go? Why are you asking me? I don't know where it went.

Fan out! Dig around the desert! Find me that truck! And an iced tea! Noah, you've got to listen to me.

LetMeDriveThe truck! I don't know.

The answer is still no! All right, we're back! This is the right road.

How can you tell? All the roads look the same out here.

Gatlocke, you're not gonna believe what I found.

This canyon it'd be the perfect place to spring an ambush.

The nanite transport is gone.

Six, can you hear me? Six? Providence, come in.

- Go ahead.

- Connect me to white.

Now would be good.

We're sitting ducks here.

Quack, quack.

Um, I'll call you back.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Gatlocke anarchist, struggling businessman, scoundrel.

Okay, that's a lie.

I'm not struggling.

But let me ask you, do you like rules? Can't say I do.

Me neither.

I hate them.

It's why me and my men live by the anarchist's code.

For us, there are no rules.

Except no cursing.

True.

We're anarchists, not animals.

You know what I'm talking about.

I feel like we have a connection.

We're practically friends.

So, if you could do me a favor, it would help me out a lot.

What kind of favor? I need you to hand over the truck.

I mean, I really need you to hand it over Now.

This truck? It's not all that great.

The radio doesn't work.

It handles like a box on wheels.

At least, I imagine it does, 'cause someone won't let me drive.

Please don't play dumb with me.

Dumb? Oh, see, dumb is pulling a blade on me! Ooh, I like this kid.

Get back to the truck! I have a bad case of evo envy.

You're risking our lives to save a stupid truck? It's the principle.

Whoa! They really want that toilet paper.

They didn't exactly look like poster boys for good hygiene.

Are you sure that's even what we're carrying? I mean, did anyone actually bother to check? Don't bother me with the details.

That's definitely not T.

P.

We were carrying unstable nanites the whole time.

We should be fine as long as none of the warning lights are on.

You mean all the red, blinky ones? Aw, boy.

Giving us the nanites? What was Six thinking? He was thinkin' that if the convoy was to get att*cked, where better to have the cargo than with you? Could've at least told us we were carrying something that could blow up.

Whoa! Glad I'm not driving.

We have 10 more minutes till Providence starts missing us.

When we don't check in, they'll send jets, and coming in blind, there's a good chance they'll get sh*t down like ours did.

We're working as fast as we can, sir.

Whatever they used completely fried the relays.

Then we'll need another option.

Well, there is one possibility, but it's a little old-fashioned.

Let me take the nanites and zoom out of here.

Didn't you hear Six? They can't go above sea level.

One wrong bump will make them go off.

Kid's right.

They're safer in the isolator back there.

All right, fine.

Then we'll just deal with the road hogs ourselves.

So any idea on that? I vote "try not to die.

" Look on the bright side the unstable nanites didn't go off.

That's what I love an optimist.

I love this kid.

You're insane.

Do you realize that? Me? Gatlocke? Insane? Frankly, I don't see it.

Just let me have them.

I'll split the money with you down the middle, 50/40.

Wow, after all that, you're nothing but a common thief.

Common"? "Common"? Tear open the truck.

It's no here.

Ugh! - That was some escape plan.

- It was one of my plans.

I have a couple different angles I'm working.

What's your "angle" now? I've got the unstable nanites right here! Ah, this is an improvement.

Back off, or I'll send us all to kingdom come! You wouldn't dare.

Or would I? You say we're a lot alike.

You would.

Unh! Aw.

Quit while you're behind, Gatlocke.

We're clear.

Now, aren't you glad about the soda? Bobo, take the nanites.

I'll keep them off your tail.

I think I must be crazy to feel this way I'm so lazy, I sleep all day I'm too stupid to understand! why did it happen? I wear it like a brand I'm straight outta luck - You should've taken the deal.

- You couldn't afford me.

deal with it every day guess what? It happened all over again You know what your problem is? You're a terrible businessman.

the weight of my situation leads towards "no" I'm straight outta luck.

why can't this all go away? deal with it every day.

Ooh, I like that.

Hey! Dude.

I'll radio.

Hello? Can anyone hear me? We need a little help here! - Anyone? - Gimme that! Breaker 1-9, good neighbor.

This is Bobo haha, droppin' the hammer in a superskate.

We got bumper stickers on our donkey.

Repeat bumper stickers on our donkey.

Come on back.

Oh, like that helps.

Is that even English? straight outta luck.

straight outta luck.

straight outta luck.

straight outta luck.

I'm straight outta luck.

Don't suppose I could convince you to join me.

- You could live the life - No one telling you what to do.

Can you just shut up for longer than a second? How long was that? You can pretend to be better, but in the end, you're just like me.

Ugh! There's one big difference between you and me! - And that is? - You can't fly.

I'm straight outta luck.

Hmm? Aah! straight outta luck, deal with it every day.

straight outta luck.

straight outta luck.

straight outta luck.

straight outta luck.

I'm straight outta luck.

We intercepted your transmission on the citizens' band.

See, I told ya.

Where are the nanites? We thought for sure it was gonna go off.

It went off.

But you said one wrong bump and it would blow up.

I said one wrong bump and it would "go off," as in "deactivate.

" They call them "unstable" for a reason.

If it was going to blow up, I would've said so.

At least you kept it from falling into the wrong hands.

"The wrong hands," he says.

I'm in a terrible rush.

The nanites, pretty please.

All yours.

They're worthless.

Let's call it a tie.

We can finish our conversation later.

White knight will want you back at headquarters for debriefing.

- Aren't you going to give us a lift? - Drive yourself.

I hate it when Six tries to be funny.

The monkey should be driving.

You know, now that I'm doing the driving, this truck ain't so bad.

Which way? They went that way, back to headquarters.

You're gonna get us lost.

Men don't get lost.

We go Exploring.