04x14 - Fright Night

[bunniefuu]

- Okay, who wants more pancakes?

- Oh no! No no.

Really? What's wrong with them this time? Well, it's not that they don't taste good, although they don't It's just pancakes aren't supposed to be orange.

Usually the food tastes bad, but it looks the way it's supposed to.

Now that's not even happening.

Guys, quit picking on mom.

She's just getting in the spirit of Halloween.

See? Orange on one side, black on the other.

Actually, I burnt that side.

The black was a happy accident.

Okay, speaking of Halloween, I am sh**ting a segment for "Good Morning Denver", called "Duncan's Punkins," which will highlight my pumpkin-carving prowess.

I don't believe I'm familiar with your pumpkin-carving prowess.

I came up with the title and worked backwards.

Ugh, I think those pancakes are working their way backwards.

So since we're filming it at the house, everyone needs to be camera-ready, although not everyone will appear.

- What's "camera ready" mean?

- Oh, you don't have to worry about it.

Oh, mom, by the way, I got Charlie and Toby the most adorable costumes.

They're going to be lions.

No.

I don't wanna be the same animal as Toby.

Charlie, I already got the costumes.

I don't care! Okay, so Toby is going to be a lion and Charlie is T.B.D.

That better not spell "lion".

I think it does.

Today's all burnt toast running late and dad jokes.

"Has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud.

There it is up on the roof.

I've been there, I survived.

So just take my advice.

Hang in there, baby things are crazy.

But I know your future's bright.

Hang in there, baby, there's no maybe.

Everything turns out all right.

Sure life is up and down.

But trust me, it comes back around.

You're gonna love who you turn out to be.

Hang in there, baby.

Okay, fund-raiser for the Drama Club.

So we need to raise money so "The Sound of Music" can have music.

And sound.

How about a car wash? No, been there, done that.

Just because you don't like it, we can't do it? Who made you President of the Drama Club? You did.

You all voted for me.

- We could have a bake sale!

- That's boring.

How about a chess tournament? Maybe nobody heard me.

How about a chess tournament? Okay, you did hear me.

You know, it's too bad it's not closer to Christmas.

We're all good singers, we could go caroling to raise money.

Wait a minute, that's it! Guys, we could do Halloween Caroling! Okay, so we'll take Christmas songs and change the lyrics for Halloween.

I like it! I don't get it but I like it! When we go caroling, I'm gonna go as a chess piece.

The Knight.

I'd go as a Rook, but then I could only move This way And this way.

That would've k*lled at Chess Club.

Hey, I'm not doing anything for Halloween.

What are you doing? - Aren't you going trick or treating?

- Dude I'm 14.

I stopped doing that like two years ago.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, of course.

- When did you stop?

- Uh, same as you.

Two years ago.

Anyway, I was wondering if I could hang out at your place.

You know, maybe avoid all the excitement of "Duncan's Punkins".

Oh sure, come on over.

We can rent scary movies, turn out the lights and really freak ourselves out.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

- Nothing really scares me anymore.

- Nothing? Well, except for when mom says, "I know we said we'd never have another baby, but"

- Hey, Teddy.

- Hey, Victor, what's up? There's something I have to tell you.

It's about Halloween.

I can't participate in the caroling.

Why not? Because every Halloween night, something terrible happens to me.

I always end up getting egged or T.P.'d or worse.

A lot worse.

Well, why didn't you say something at the meeting? You seemed fine with the whole Halloween idea then.

When I mentioned my chess piece costumes, that was just to be macho.

In front of the ladies.

We kinda need your male voice on our big showstopper, "God rest ye merry Frankenstein".

Let me give it a sh*t.

God rest ye merry Frankenstein What's the next lyric? I'll reanimate your corpse.

You know, I had my doubts about this idea, but now

- Yes?

- They're confirmed.

So what do you think?

- These pumpkins are amazing.

- Uh huh.

Honey! I had no idea you were so talented.

How could you have no idea? I tell you every day.

Honey, could you come in here a sec?

- Yes, Bob?

- Who's this? That's Marvin.

From the Halloween store.

He's my assistant.

- I do the hard work

- Mm hmm.

By coming up with the design of what the pumpkin will look like, and Marvin here carries out my vision.

- It's called delegation.

- Mmm.

I have to ask; When you say things like that, do they make sense to you? I don't really listen.

Okay, guys, this is our first house.

So let's start off with our strongest song.

"I'm dreaming of a white Werewolf"? You think that's better than "o come all ye goblins"? It's hard to choose.

They're all so good.

Okay, guys, I'm gonna make an executive decision.

We're gonna start with "Away In The Graveyard".

Are we ready? Away in a graveyard.

The zombie did lay.

Looking to eat brains.

All night and all day.

Wait wait, what are you doing?

- We're Halloween Caroling.

- I don't get it.

Me neither! So we're raising funds for the South High Drama Club By taking Christmas Carols and turning them into Halloween Carols.

- Uh, would you like to donate?

- Sure.

Have a lolly.

I've discovered a flaw in the plan.

I said I did not want to be a lion! Honey, you're not a lion anymore.

Look, you have spots! You're a leopard.

- Really?

- Yes.

And you know what? Leopards are faster than lions.

And stronger?

- Sure!

- In your face! Okay, Kenny, let's see how these pumpkins look on camera.

Ba-bam! Oh no! Wha what happened?! Pumpkins go bad fast.

I think Marvin carved them too early.

Want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.

- But you couldn't do it yourself.

- It's a saying, Bob! Okay, now that we can't sh**t the pumpkins, let's Let's get a sh*t of the two lions.

What? I knew it! Don't open that door Don't open that door!

- It's okay, you can look now.

- Oh.

Gaaaah! Oh, stop doing that! Why? It's always funny.

- Trick or treat.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I was not expecting trick-or-treaters.

- This is an apartment building.

- But it's Halloween.

- Sorry.

- Yeah, me too.

- Trick-or-treater.

- I heard.

You're aware of the size of the apartment, right?

- What was that?

- What was what? Are you cheap or do you just hate kids?

- Look, it's an apartment building

- I know where we are! And since my kid didn't get a treat You're gonna get tricked! What does that mean? Oh, you'll find out.

Well, she seems nice.

That's Lorna from 402.

Everyone in the building knows she's a little - Off.

- Off? She's trouble, Gabe.

If she's in the elevator, you take the stairs.

If she's in the lobby, you wait outside.

And you never ever go in the laundry room when she's in there.

You never go in there at all, you do all your laundry at our house.

Well, if I did go in there, I would not go in there.

We wish you a scary Halloween.

We wish you a scary Halloween.

We wish you a scary Halloween.

And a happy boo! Year! Year! So you're singing Christmas Carols with Halloween lyrics.

Finally! Someone gets it! Oh, I get it.

I just think it's lame.

Well, it's official.

Nobody gets Halloween Caroling.

He got it, he just said it was lame.

Guys, can I help it if I'm too clever for this neighborhood? Teddy, let's face it, this night's a complete disaster.

Not complete.

At least nothing bad has happened to you.

Yet.

Guys, who cares what this guy thinks?

- We should have done a car wash.

- Or a bake sale.

Whoa! Victor, are you okay? I'm in a hole.

Oh, just remain calm and whatever you do Do not think about the walls closing in on you.

- Or your fear of worms.

- Get me out of here! I rang the bell a bunch of times, but the guy wouldn't answer.

He probably thinks we're gonna sing some more.

How's it going up there? Aw, isn't that sweet? He's in a hole, but he's worried about how we're doing.

It's a little chilly, but we're okay! Can I do it, daddy? Sure, honey.

It's all yours.

Trick or treat! Thanks! I did it! Halloween is always focused on pumpkins.

But what about other fruits and vegetables? They deserve to be scary too.

What about this evil eggplant? And who's this? Jack o'pepper? Ah! Ah! And what about the apple that couldn't keep the doctor away Because he has a Kn*fe in his head? Ooh, scary! Oh! Kenny, is this as lame as I think it is? Yes.

I've gotta come up with something else.

Hey, Teddy.

What? Victor's in a hole? Is he camera-ready? Oh uh, never mind, we'll be right there.

Okay.

Let's go, Kenny.

Bob! We're leaving! You're in charge! Sure, no problem! Charlie and I have got it all under control! Daddy, we runned out of candy.

And our first bump.

Hello? Hello-o-o-o.

Nobody there.

Again.

That's like the third time.

Who keeps calling us? Oh, I don't know, maybe the woman who threatened you? Well, if she's trying to scare us, it's not going to work.

Uh, you get it.

Nobody there.

Oh, ding-dong-ditch, real mature! Oh, come on, Lorna! That's it, I've had enough I'm going to go upstairs and tell her to knock it off.

Whoa, sure that's a good idea? I thought you said she was a little off.

What am I supposed to do? Let her t*rture us all night? Hey.

Does this make me look tougher? P.J., that's a Gurgles beanie.

Well, it's all I got.

- What's going on up there?

- Hang in there, Victor.

- Help is on the way!

- Hey hey, back it up, people.

Our friend fell in a hole.

It's a dangerous situation.

Yeah, guys, this isn't a freak show, okay? Although Step right up, see the boy in the hole, only $5! All right, all right, make a line, people.

- Is he out of the hole yet?

- No.

Great.

Kenny, we caught a break.

Victor, it's Amy Duncan.

Finally a responsible adult.

Did you bring a rope or a ladder? No, I brought a microphone and a blazer.

Three, two This is Amy Duncan, reporting live on Halloween night, with breaking news.

Little Victor Deleseur has fallen into a hole and may have only have a short time to live.

What?! I'll be with you until the story ends One way or another.

Stop that! Trick or treat! Well, hey, look at you! That is one heck of a costume you got there.

And you know what? Because of that, you get a special treat from the super fun mystery bag! Did you run out of candy? Maybe.

Come on, just reach in.

Hey, you got the coaster! Charlie, she got the coaster! Ring the bell! Can I try again? Well, if you think you can b*at the coaster, be my guest.

What is this? You got the Jack o'pepper! I'll take the coaster.

Happy Halloween! Charlie, we're gonna need more coasters.

I'm on it.

P.J., it's been an hour.

Where are you? Call me back, send me a text, something.

P.J.? P.J., where are you? I've been waiting for you.

What have you done with my brother? Same thing I'm gonna do with you.

If you don't hand out candy, you don't need your hand! Help me! Ha ha! Gotcha! High five.

Woo! Wait.

This was all a trick? That's right, Mister nothing-scares-me-anymore.

I wasn't really scared.

Oh, really? Why is there a stain on your pants?

- There's not.

- Ha ha, made you look! Wow, a scare and a "made you look" all in the same day.

I am on fire! It's now hour number two of the boy-in-the-hole saga, and the tension is unbearable.

Let's talk to some of Victor's closest friends who have gathered here for the death watch.

I'm actually fine! Please, if you could, tell me in your own words how this tragedy happened.

Well, we were walking and he fell in a hole.

Fascinating.

I understand you two were with Victor when he disappeared.

How is it that neither of you fell into the hole? I don't know.

The mystery deepens.

I think we have time for one more question.

You, Sir, you there.

- What's your name, Sir?

- Victor!

- Just like the boy in the hole.

- I am the boy in the hole! Somebody finally brought me a ladder, which I've been asking for all night! It's a Halloween miracle! This is Amy Duncan reporting.

Well, Charlie, we raised $300 for Drama Club.

I mean, Victor had to spend two hours in a hole to make it happen.

But he did say that this was his best Halloween ever.

What happened to all the coasters? Um, I don't know.

And why does Charlie ring a bell every time I say the word "coasters"? Coming! And the mystery deepens.

Happy Halloween, and good luck, Charlie.

This Halloween enjoy the spookiest hits of all time, as sung by the Denver Halloween chorus.

Timeless classics like Scary spells, something smells.

It must be the corpse.

And who can forget? O come all ye goblins.

O come all ye goblins.

Frightful and repugnant.

Frightful and repugnant.

You'll also get Boo to the world, the ghost's have come.

Let Earth recoil in fear.

But that's not all.

Order now and you'll receive this holiday classic; Fourth of July favorites, sung by The Easter Bunny! Hoppy Doodle went to town.

Riding on a bunny.

He hard-boils his Easter eggs.

To make sure they're not runny.

Call now, operators are standing by.

Well, it it's it's just me, but call anyway.