06x05 - The m*rder of Lucifer Morningstar

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Lucifer". Aired: January 2016 to present.*

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"Lucifer" amuses himself in Los Angeles, where he gets his kicks helping the LAPD punish criminals.
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06x05 - The m*rder of Lucifer Morningstar

Post by bunniefuu »

[CHUCKLES]

RORY: Do you have any ice cream?
- Ice cream?

RORY: Yeah. You always have ice cream in here.

Um, I guess, in the freezer.

[WOMAN] Yes! It's so good to see you, Mom.

Want some?

I'm okay. Thanks.

RORY: Okay. Suit yourself. Today has been the worst day.
I came all this way, and I... I can't believe he reacted like that. [SIGHS]

I mean, I can. He's Lucifer, but...

Wait, are you the girl from Lucifer's penthouse?

His daughter?

RORY: And yours, Mom.

[CHUCKLES] I'm...

I'm sorry, you keep calling me Mom,

but, um, I only have one daughter.

Her name is Trixie,

and, um, it would be quite hard to miss a pregnancy. I mean, I... I'm not trying to be rude, but, um...

RORY: Right. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Come on, Rory, this sounds frickin' crazy.

Sorry. I just... I felt... I just felt so lost,

and I thought that coming home would maybe... I don't... I don't know. Never mind.

I shouldn't have done this.

I will go.

Wait, hold on. Uh, what did you say your name was?

RORY: Rory.

- Short for "Aurora."
- Aurora.

If I ever had another daughter, that's what I was gonna name her.

Aurora.

I've never told anybody that before.

Are you really my daughter?

I don't understand. I...

[GASPS]

[SOBBING SOFTLY]

I can't imagine what you're going through,

or how any of this is possible.

RORY: It's complicated, Mom.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]

[DAN] Are you done yet?

Can we hang already, please? [CHUCKLES]

Dan, how long have you been...

[SIGHS] You know what? Never mind.

[SIGHS] My final exam is tomorrow, man.

I have to study.

DAN: Ah, come on, man. You're gonna ace it!

- Take it from a seasoned cop.
- [SIGHS]

Look, you've already learned everything

you're gonna learn from the manual.

DAN: What you need to do
is focus on your weak spots.

- Weak spots?
- Yeah.

- What weak spots?
- No offense, man. It's just...

Look, I'm saying, there's book smart and then there's street smart.

For example, how do you make sure

that you get all the good assignments at roll call?

Aren't they all just assignments?

[DAN WHISPERING] No. You sneak Sergeant Kennedy a corned beef on rye the day before,
and I have no idea why I'm whispering 'cause no one can hear me.

[CHUCKLES] Oh!

[NORMAL VOICE] And you gotta avoid squad car because they never fixed the transmission. That's important.

I know you're just trying to help. Buddy, I really do.

But I'm gonna figure these things out on my own.

Yeah. But isn't it easier and way more fun to pick my brain? Huh?

Huh? Say, over a couple of beers?

You drink, and I try to remember what the buzz felt like? [LAUGHS]

I would like that, Dan. I really would.

But right now you have to leave because you're making me look crazy.

Oh, right. You see, it's the whole "not having a body" thing.

It's hard, you know? I wanna feel like I can... [INHALES]

- ... do something.
- You know?

Mm-hmm.

[DAN CLEARS THROAT]

[CHUCKLES] Study up, my man.

We'll talk later.

But, uh, don't forget...

Corned beef on rye!
That's the one.

Oh. Brown rice salmon sushi!

Wait, who are we yelling lunch orders to?

I, uh...

Oh, Patterson from Records, right?

Aww, it's so nice of him to pick stuff up for us.

Thanks, man. [CLICKS TONGUE]

Anyway, I've got, um, something crazy important

I wanna talk to you about.

- R-Really?
- Yeah. It's the most important investigation of my life.

Humungo. The mystery to end all mysteries.

- Like, super-duper import...
- Ella! Just...

ELLA: Right.

It's big, Amenadiel,

and I've been waiting to tell someone until I had a concrete clue,

which I now do, so drum roll, please.

I could just drum roll...

My sock is missing.

Your, um...

- Your sock?
- Yep.

Fourth time this month that one of my socks has flown the coop,

and I know what you're thinking. "Oh, that's normal."

"It happens to everyone," so just biz as uzhe, right?

Wrong.

I ran a data analysis over a targeted search

across several social media platforms

and discovered a % uptick in people mentioning missing socks.

- Okay...
ELLA: But that's not all!

A river in South America turned blood red.

Plus, huh, raining frogs?

I mean, it's, uh, it's pretty clear.

The apocalypse is nigh.

Ella...

[SIGHS]

The world is most assuredly not ending.

Amenadiel, this is serious.

We could have weeks, days, who knows?

- I mean...
- There's a lot I don't fully understand.

Like some of the nonsensical laws in that textbook.

But when it comes to things of the cosmic nature,

I'm pretty well versed, and if the world were ending, I would feel it.

Wait. Why?

Why... I mean, why would you feel it?

[INHALES]

Well, I wouldn't feel it, you know. I would... I would, uh, I would know it, because... you know, I'm on the Internet a lot.

I read everything.

- Nerd alert! [LAUGHS]
- [SIGHS] Right.

Yeah. Of course.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Thanks for talking me off the ledge.

Oh.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

[HESITATES] Time travel?

[SCOFFS]

Seriously?

You're from the future.

Well... [SCOFFS]

I mean, you pull out people's desires.

Amenadiel can slow down time.

Is time travel that big of a stretch?

I suppose, when you put it like that.

[EXHALES] So...

We have a daughter?

[CHLOE] Mm-hmm.

- [SIGHS]
- [CHLOE] Hmm.

We have a daughter.

Yeah.

[GASPS] It's amazing.

- I know.
- [LUCIFER GASPS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

RORY: I'd say "get a room," but well, clearly, you did.

[LAUGHS] Very good.

[SIGHS] I'm not sure where to start.

I, um...

I owe you an apology, Rory,

for how I reacted last time you were here.

You caught me a little off guard, what with the wing to the throat.

[CHUCKLING]

Regardless, I am sorry.

But if you're from the future

and you're our child,

then there must be some mistake.

Why?

Because I would never abandon you.

RORY: I told you coming here was a terrible idea.

Lucifer, there's obviously a reasonable explanation for this.

No, I'm sorry. It's just not possible.

I would never.

RORY: Well, I don't know what to tell you. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't.

What does that mean?

RORY: Before I traveled here, I was...

I... I was going through something big.

And I thought...

I felt like,

if you were ever going to finally show up

after being gone my whole life,

it would be in that moment.

But you didn't. [SHUDDERS]

And then I felt this rush of pure rage.

And then I was here.

So you self-actualized.

You manifested the ability to travel back in time, because...

RORY: Because of how much I hate you, yeah.

I told you I wanted to k*ll you.

Apparently so much that I traveled through time to do it.

But yay me, I failed.

[SIGHS] Thankfully.

RORY: Ever since then, I've been trying to get angry enough

to go back to my time, but I can't, so...

I guess my first jump through time was a one-way trip.

But maybe it's for the best.

Now I get to see why you walk out on me.

Would you stop saying that, please?

I mean, yes, I suppose there's a chance that I could have neglected a daughter I didn't know existed,

but you're saying I do this knowingly?

RORY: According to Mom, you were well aware of my existence!

The only thing she wouldn't tell me was why you left.

Well, who knows what she was hiding then?

Maybe she's the one you should be upset with!

- [CHUCKLES]
- Hey!

I do not think that this is helping.

She's accusing me of something that would never happen.

RORY: It did happen! It happened to me.

I don't believe you!

Lucifer. Enough.

Rory, just give us a minute, okay?

- Thank you. Please.
- [SCOFFS]

[HUFFS] You need to calm down.

She is hurting.

She accused me of doing the very thing my father did to me.

[CHLOE EXHALES]

What if it's because you become God?

No.

No, no, my father chose to be distant.

I would never choose this.

I just can't think what would be powerful enough

to make me do something so...

What?

Oh, that's it.

What's it?

Azrael's blade.

It's the only thing that can k*ll-k*ll me,

wipe me from existence.

Someone must use it on me in the future.

[SNAPS FINGERS] And that is why I abandon her.

Hmm. That could be an explanation.

It's the only explanation.

Which means there is a very simple solution to this whole conundrum.

- Which is?
- I return it to Heaven.

My sister gets her Kn*fe back.
We avert a child abandonment issue.

It's win-win. [CHUCKLES]

Well, "lose" for you 'cause, you know...

bye-bye super strength,

and, well, super sex, for that matter.

Sacrifices must be made.

Why would I lose my super strength?

Lucifer! [GASPS]

Hey, Lucifer, uh, why would I lose my super strength?

Well, once the blade is no longer on Earth,

Amenadiel's necklace will become deactivated,

which means no more "Super Chloe." [CHUCKLES]

Maybe you don't need to take it back.
Maybe there's another way.

[SCOFFS] What other way?

I think it's time for Detective Decker to make a comeback.

We still have one mystery left to solve.

The m*rder of Lucifer Morningstar.

[EXHALES]

Ahh.

Lucifer, what are you doing?

I told you we can fix this without getting rid of the blade.

And much as I appreciate your offer to solve my pending patricide,

there's a far simpler solution.

No blade, no m*rder. [CHUCKLES]

What if it isn't the blade?

Or what if one of your siblings just brings it back down in a couple of weeks?

- We would be completely unprepared.
- [SIGHS]

Listen, we need to solve the m*rder itself. That's the key.

Chloe, you are an excellent detective,

but how does one solve a m*rder that hasn't happened yet?

There's... there's no crime scene. There's no evidence.

There's no body. [CHUCKLES]

Well, there is a body, and it's magnificent, but it's very much alive.

There's no witnesses.

That's...

That's not necessarily true.

RORY: Oh. How many different kinds of olives does a dude need?

[LUCIFER] Clearly I need to teach you the finer art of martinis.

[CHUCKLES]

[EXHALES] Um, Rory, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

I mean, if you're comfortable.

RORY: [SIGHS] I don't know what good it's gonna do, but whatever.

[EXHALES]

What do you actually know about your father's disappearance?

RORY: It ruined my life. Do I really need to know anything else about it? [CHUCKLES]

Well, do you know what I was doing

or where Lucifer said he was going?

Or who m*rder*d me?

RORY: That's your theory?
- Hmm.

RORY: Oh, well... [CHUCKLES] Sorry to burst your bullshit bubble,

but nothing happened to you. You left.

Right. Well, we're just trying to make sense of all this.

RORY: [SIGHS] All you told me was you two were together in Van Nuys,

near Tenth and Swanson. Lucifer turned the corner, and you never saw him again.

Hmm. Well, we have the scene of the crime. That's a great start.

But not particularly useful since we don't know when it happens.

August 4th. Clover's birthday.

Who or what is a Clover?

RORY: My favorite musician! Her songs slap. Will slap. Trust me.

- [LUCIFER] Oh.
- [CHLOE] Hmm.

- So, this August 4th?
RORY: Mm-hmm.

Well, that's three weeks from now. That must mean...

Do you think I could be pregnant right now?

Maybe it was last night.

Or the night before on the balcony, when you were up against the...

RORY: Please don't do your sex math in front of me.

- Of course.
- Right.

RORY: I don't know exactly when you guys...

- [LUCIFER EXHALES]
- Yeah.

Um, can you remember anything else?

Yeah, like why on earth would I be in Van Nuys?

I wouldn't be caught dead there.
Though... apparently I will be.

RORY: This is how you two work together, isn't it? The famous "Mom and Lucifer" partnership. [CHUCKLES] I gotta say, you are really carrying him here, Mom.

- [LAUGHS]
- [CLEARS THROAT]

RORY: That's all I know.

All right, well, we have a future crime scene.

- Let's get started.
- Mm.

- He didn't die!
- Yes, he did!

- I did!
- [RORY CHUCKLES]

"Will." [HESITATES] Whatever.

RORY: Think about it! If you did, Mom would have told me. Because that would have been a good reason for you to leave. But she hid the truth, which means whatever happened must have been pretty shitty.

You stay here. I don't want you getting into any trouble.

You're grounding me?

- If that's what you want to call it!
- Little late!

I mean, don't you think our venue needs,

like, spikes or a moat?

[SIGHS] I mean, spikes and a moat?

Our wedding is going to be spikes and moat-free. I am saving that for the honeymoon.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

RORY: Hey, Maze. Hey, Aunt Eve. An entire wall of liquor upstairs and it's all just whiskey?

Come on...

Mama needs a rum. Oh.

Who are you?

RORY:Right. [CHUCKLES]

Sorry. Uh, long story short, I'm Lucifer and Chloe's daughter from the future. Ooh, what's that? Oh, the wedding hasn't happened yet, has it?

What do you mean?

- Something goes wrong with the wedding?
- Hold up.

Why is she "Aunt Eve," and I'm just "Maze"?

I've said too much. [EXHALES]

Time Travel . Ixnay on the oilerspays. [CHUCKLES]

[GULPS]

[GASPS] Can I get you another drink?

Yeah.

I can think of worse places to die.

- Well, one. Florida.
- Hmm.

[SCOFFS] Does any of this look familiar?

[EXHALES] I can absolutely,

categorically say I've never been here before in my life.

[SIGHS] What about real estate owned?

Business conducted? Favors done?

Nada, Detective, though I'm not sure it matters.

Now that we've been here, I know never to return. [CHUCKLES]

Lucifer, you can't be sure that will save you.

- A lot can happen in three weeks.
- Agreed.

Like a vacation in Colombia?

Beautiful beaches, mountains of illicit dr*gs.

Like a home away from home, really.

Lucifer, stop running from the problem.

We have to solve this case to save your life.

So, please, help me find a clue.

- Or help me find anything.
- Detective...

Chloe, how can I help you find what isn't... there.

- [CHLOE] Do you recognize her?
- I do.

Though I can't quite say from where.

[CHLOE] Hmm.

[LUCIFER MUTTERS]

- k*lled by a dentist.
- Hmm.

Well, dental surgeon, maybe.

I'd even take a podiatrist, but this. It can't be.

- Excuse me, could I speak with Dr. Kyle?
- [LUCIFER SIGHS]

What is this regarding?

Invisalign?

For... what? No.

Uh, do you recognize this man?
Has he ever been here before?

No. I don't think so.

Right. Can you think of any reason

that your boss might want to m*rder me?

What? [CHUCKLES]

- Lucifer...
- [LUCIFER EXHALES]

- Is any of this ringing a bell?
- No, nothing at all.

And I clearly didn't do this woman a favor

because she's, well, a dentist.

I must have slept with her and awakened a powerful lust that curdled into a murderous hate.

But you remember everybody you sleep with. Like, every detail.

- But there was the masked orgy.
- What?

I slept with her. That must be it.

What?

You slept with my wife?

You're married to the dentist?

But you're the receptionist.

- Well, no wonder she slept with me.
- [WOMAN] Excuse me.

Is everything okay in here?

I knew it.

And to think I worked so hard to keep my fling with Cindy a secret.

What?

[SOBBING]

Oh, this place is amazing. I should be getting my teeth cleaned here.

No wonder you never noticed the crazy sexual tension

between me and Cindy!

Probably 'cause you were too busy

doing the old plaque-rinse with this guy.

- Right?
- I don't even know who he is.

- Hmm.
- You said it was a masked orgy,

so how would you recognize her face?

- Oh, good point.
- [ON TV] ♪ Dr. Kyle for the best smile... ♪

[ERIN] I'm Dr. Erin Kyle and welcome to Super Smiles.

We offer state-of-the-art care,

so bring the whole fam on in for a visit.

- You won't be disappointed.
- Uh, excuse me.

Do these commercials ever run during Bones?

Syndicated audiences are tooth decay audiences.

[SIGHS] Right. I think I know where I recognize her from.

Yeah. Me too.

[LUCIFER] Hmm.

Oh, so you two didn't...

Oh. Uh...

Maybe I... I overreacted.

Get out!

Okay. Fine.

Come on, Cuspid. [PATS LEG]

Let's go.

Cuspid?

[DOG WHIMPERS]

- Oops.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]

- Um, dearie me. [EXHALES]
- [SOBBING]

[LUCIFER] Don't worry.

Worst case, you get half of...

- Well, this. Right? [CHUCKLES]
- Hmm.

[SOBS] There was a prenup.

Oh.

[SHUDDERS] I just lost my wife,

my job, my dog.

I've got no home,

no friends. [SNIFFLES]

I am ruined.

No, you're not ruined.

And it's all your fault.

I'm gonna k*ll you.

This is terrible.

- [SOBBING]
- [CHLOE] I know.

We may have just inadvertently created your future m*rder*r.

That too, but I don't even get m*rder*d by a dentist. The great Lucifer Morningstar's final foe is a dental receptionist.

Wait, maybe not,

if we can figure out a way to uncreate your k*ller.

So we just need to convince Sniffles here not to snuff me out.

Right.

How hard can that be? [CHUCKLES]

- [SNIFFLES]
- [LUCIFER] Oh.

[SOBBING]

♪ Tangerine, you caught me on a good day ♪

♪ The roses started blooming... ♪

Seriously, forget I said anything.

Okay. She called me Aunt Eve.

That means we're still in her life. Right?

Yeah, you are.

Not me. I'm just Maze.

Not "Aunt Maze." Just plain old "Maze," which means we're probably not together.

We don't know that for sure, babe.

Then what else does it mean, Eve?

Okay, Maze. [SIGHS]

I told you texting me there's an emergency
when you really just want a drink...

Hey, Amenadiel, this is Rory.

Lucifer and Chloe's daughter.

From the future.

- From where?
- More like "when."

[GASPS] Yeah, and she knows what happens to all of us.

Apparently, Eve breaks up with me.

We don't know who breaks up with who.

Well, see? Now you're admitting that we break up!

No! We don't know anything for sure.

You are right, baby.

We don't.

But you do.

RORY: Guys, I... I wish I could tell you. I really do.

But I can't. My hands are tied. And I especially can't tell you in front of this random stranger.

"Rand... "

Wait a minute. My future niece doesn't even know me?

RORY: sh*t, you're one of my uncles?

Um, yeah, yeah, I'm your uncle Amenadiel.

The greatest warrior of the Silver City?

God's favorite son?

RORY: Oh, of course! Amenadiel! [CHUCKLES] Lucifer's little bro.
- "Big."

RORY:Big brother. Yeah, I know who you are. [SCOFFS]

Let me make you a drink.

- Does this mean I die?
- [EVE] Guess so.

You die. Our wedding's a disaster.

- Maybe I die at your wedding.
- What?

I just sent your invitation.
This is all my fault.

[INHALES]

You're torturing us, aren't you?

[CHUCKLES]

RORY: Game recognizes game, Auntie Maze. Learned from the best.

[LAUGHING]

That's good! That's good!

See?

- You are an amazing aunt.
- Mm.

Mwah!

[SIGHS] Maybe an even better mom one day, huh?

[KISSES]

RORY: [LAUGHS] Sorry, Uncle A. I couldn't help myself. [CHUCKLES]

Hey, I was kidding.

You know who I am. I mean, you will, at least. So...

I believe you, it's just, um... How long have you been here?

RORY: Um, a couple of days maybe.

Oh, are you mad I didn't come see you sooner?

No, no. I didn't, uh...

I didn't feel your presence.

And if I didn't know about an angel from the future

being here on Earth, then...

then maybe there's other things happening in the world

that I'm unaware of.

[SIGHS]

[LAUGHS] Of course.

[SNIFFS] Mmm.

Macallan. Hmm,
this has got to do it.

[CHLOE CHUCKLES]

Oh, come on!

That is a $ , pour of whiskey you've just refused. [SCOFFS]

[SIGHS] Look, I've offered you money, your own dental practice...

I'll even throw in a new dog, hmm?

Two dogs? All the dogs!

[SIGHS] Why don't you understand? It's very simple.

I'm trying to bribe you into not wanting to m*rder me.

So, what's it going to take?

I just

want Erin back.

She was my world.

- But you cheated on her.
- I know! [SOBBING]

[SCOFFS]

Okay. So if we could get your wife to take you back,

do you think that maybe you wouldn't wanna k*ll Lucifer anymore?

Do you really think you could get my Honey Badger to take me back?

Well, between the two of us, we've accomplished the impossible.

How hard could it be to reignite a love connection?

I just, uh...

- [SIGHS] No, excuse us.
- [CHLOE CHUCKLES]

- [LUCIFER] Over here.
- [CHLOE] Hmm.

Hey!

[LUCIFER] Mm.

Oh, that is good.

So, say we do that,

then there's no guarantee it'll stick.


He... he could end up stepping out on his wife again,

find a way to blame me for it

and then snap right back into a murderous rage

when our guard is down.

We're playing right into fate's hands here.

Well, what else can we do?

I know just how to avoid it.

[CHLOE] Lucifer, what...

Two seconds.

- What are you doing?
- [LUCIFER] Cutting to the chase.

I'm gonna put Azrael's blade in his hand and see if he kills me. Then we'll have our answer.

Seriously? Are you really willing to die to prove that you didn't abandon your daughter?

Apparently so.

- [SCOFFS]
- [BEEPS]

It's gone.

What?

It doesn't make sense, 'cause...

the only people who've been here recently are the two of us...

[INHALES]

- ... Tears for Fears out there...
- [BOTH GASP]

... and Rory.

Lucifer, don't say it.

My own daughter kills me.

Just when I thought I'd heard it all.

- Future child angst...
- [LUCIFER] Hmm.

... being faced by present-day parents.

I've never dealt with that before.

[LAUGHS] No one's dealt with that before.

- This'll be perfect for Chapter .
- Chapter ?

Oh, not important.

- Okay, so, where shall we start?
Who are you again? The only Linda Martin I know is a convicted felon.

Don't listen to her, Doctor.

She just pulled this trick with Amenadiel.

Apparently, my daughter lies. Apple fell miles from the tree, it seems.

RORY: Hmm. Maybe I'd know better if you'd ever been around.

- Oh.
- But I was.

Is that how I raised you?

RORY: You had a lot to deal with, Mom.
- What does that mean, honey?

More subterfuge, I'm sure.
She's just trying to stir things up.

RORY:God. You still here? Don't let the door hit ya where I should've split ya.

Oh, that's funny. Where'd you learn that? The future?

Okay, okay, okay. I can sense that you're both very angry.

But I can also see...

that you're both not as different as you may think.

- [LUCIFER AND RORY CHUCKLE]
- [CHLOE EXHALES]

- [RORY CHUCKLES]
- [LUCIFER SIGHS]

Okay, Rory, we often use anger to protect ourselves.

But underneath, you might be feeling

a more... a more vulnerable emotion.

And you...

Perhaps you could try being more empathetic,

considering Rory's been through the very thing you have.

Your father was absent too.

Hmm. My father made that choice. I didn't.

- You don't know that.
- Yes, I do.

Because "A," I would never choose that.

- And "B," I know you k*lled me.
- [CHLOE] Lucifer...

RORY: Mom, what's he talking about?

You know Azrael's blade?

It... it went missing from the safe.

And you think I took it?

Somebody did, and the only people who had access

were the three of us, so...

Lucifer, we don't know that! It could've been someone else.

It wasn't anyone else. It had to have been her. [EXHALES]

Lucifer, why are you so threatened by your daughter?

Oh, come on. This isn't a jump.

It isn't even a hop. She's already tried to k*ll me once.

RORY: Yeah, but I didn't.
- [LUCIFER EXHALES]

RORY: Pull your head out of your butt and think. If I wanted to k*ll you, why would I be doing this?

It's all part of your ruse to steal the blade

and remove me from existence entirely.

- [SCOFFS] I'm sorry.
- [RORY SIGHS]

RORY: You have nothing to be sorry for. He's the one who should apologize.
- No, Rory, this is my fault.

- Why do you feel that way, Chloe?
- [INHALES, HESITATES]

It's because you had me keep the blade on Earth, isn't it?

Which is good, because now we are getting to the bottom of things.

- Lucifer, you don't understand.
- Oh, I understand completely.

She's the only one with motive, means and opportunity.

RORY: That's why you brought me here?

This isn't family therapy. It's an interrogation?

[GASPS] I can't believe you did this.
I am not a m*rder suspect.

I'm your daughter.

[SOBS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[LUCIFER GRUNTS]

She takes after you in her exits.

[LUCIFER EXHALES]

[HUFFS]

[EXHALES] That could have gone better.

I mean, I could have done better.

[CHLOE GRUNTS]

[LUCIFER GASPS]

Truth is, I...

I don't know how to do this.

[SIGHS] Lucifer,

this was all my fault.

No, no, no, no.
You can't blame yourself.

- Yes, I can.
- [EXHALES]

'Cause I lied.

[SIGHS]

[SCOFFS] How did you know that was there?

Because I'm the one who took it.

I hid the blade to keep it safe.

To keep you safe.

Well, and now that you know Rory wasn't the one who stole the blade,

you know, I'm sure we can just talk to her and fix this.

[EXHALES]

I think there's something else we need to fix first, Chloe.

The blade needs to go back to Heaven.

What? No, I told you, I was protecting you. That's it.

Is this about me?

Or you?

Oh, Chloe.

Chloe, I am so sorry.

I... I should have seen this before.

Why are you sorry?

This makes me feel strong.

I don't want to give that up.

And clearly you are too attached

to the strength the necklace gives you when the blade is here.

No, I am fine.

I can control it.

Can you?

Because I'm starting to think the only reason you've been pushing so hard on this case, Detective,

is that you didn't want to let it go.

- Well, you're wrong.
- Chloe...

You let me believe that my own daughter, our daughter,

wanted to k*ll me.

Well, I think you're being a little dramatic.

And everything turned out fine.

You're not in control. Now give me the blade.

[GASPS] No!

[GRUNTING, PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

[GRUNTS]

I know what I'm doing,

and you're not taking it away.

[SHUDDERING]

- Lucifer, don't make me hurt you.
- Huh?

[GRUNTING]

Give it to me!

- Let... go! [PANTING]
- [GRUNTS]

[CHLOE SHOUTS]

[LUCIFER GRUNTS]

[BOTH GRUNT]

[CHLOE] Oh!

[PANTING]

[ECHOING] Okay, Chloe... Chloe?

[YELLS]

[GRUNTING]

- [CHLOE SHOUTS]
- [GRUNTING]

- [CHLOE] Oh!
- [WHIMPERS]

Well, I certainly did not see this coming.

But I guess that means we've solved our case.

[PANTING]

This must be how I die.

[EXHALES] What? No.

No, of course not. It was just instinct. I...

I would never hurt you.

- [GASPING]
- I would never hurt you.

[SNIFFLES]

[GASPS] What's happening to me?

It's not your fault.

It's that blade.

It drives every human to Stabby Town.

No... [GASPING]

I lost control before I took the blade.

There's no one to blame but me.

[GASPING]

Lucifer, I want you to... [SHUDDERS]

[SOBBING] I need you to take it from me.

All right.

All right.

- [CHLOE SNIFFLES]
- All right. [SHUDDERING]

Oh. Oh, it's all right.

- It's all right.
- [SOBBING]

[DOOR OPENS]

- [AMENADIEL] Hi.
- Oh, Amenadiel! [GASPS]

You, uh, snuck up on me there. What's up?

I wanted to talk to you. To apologize.

For what? I was a little dismissive of you earlier.
And I'm beginning to realize that maybe there are things that I haven't noticed
that are happening in the world. And that could even include, say, the end of it, so...

I don't mean to Kanye you. I'm totally gonna let you finish,

but I was just, you know, cuckoo. [CHUCKLES]

Yeah, no, I... I found the sock. It was just stuck in the lint trap. So, thank you, universe, which is clearly not ending. [LAUGHS]

- [AMENADIEL] Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

And the river?

Uh, Kool-Aid.Yeah, a tractor trailer crashed and dumped a bunch of it into the river,
so it's seriously not a big deal.

I mean, a big deal ecologically, but totally not a big deal

in the earth-shattering way I thought it was.

- Well, I'm glad.
- Yeah, me too.

I mean, sayonara apocalypse conspiracy theories

and back to regular old forensic science work. [CHUCKLES]

[FROG CROAKING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[CHLOE] Hi.

Um, is the blade gone?
It doesn't feel gone.

Not yet.

I thought there was something we should try before...

well, before the opportunity escapes us.

- Dan.
- [DAN GASPS]

Hey, Chloe.

Hi.

- [DAN] Hi.
- [HESITATES]

I can't believe this. I...

- You look great. I mean...
- You're a sight for sore eyes too.

Um, I thought you said that I wouldn't be able to see him.

Well, it occurred to me that Amenadiel's necklace might imbue you with more celestial qualities than just super strength.

- Oh, Dan...
- I'm... I'm just a soul.

So I'm not solid.

But you can see, and you can hear me.

Oh. Right.

[SHUDDERS]

So when you take the blade back up to Heaven, I won't be able to see him anymore?

You won't.

- [EXHALES]
- We weren't even sure if I should come.

We didn't wanna make this any harder for you.

But then we thought it wouldn't be fair

to make that decision for you.

[GASPS]

Um, can you give us a few hours?

Of course.

["SLEEP ON ME" BY CREAMS PLAYING]

[CHATTERING]

Anyway,

the blade will be back in Heaven where it belongs,

which means I won't die.

[CHUCKLES] And... and that's a bad thing,

so you called me here to complain about being alive?

No.

No, I called you because, for some unknown reason,

I end up doing to my daughter the very thing my father did to me.

[EXHALES]

The thing that your mom did to you.

Which makes me just as bad as them. [SCOFFS]

Worse, maybe.

And you want me to t*rture you so you feel better about yourself?

LUCIFER: No. No, Maze. [CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS] No. [HUFFS] I want... I want your... You know...

You want my advice?

LUCIFER: Yes.

[INHALES, CLEARS THROAT]

Well, some people aren't meant to be parents.

LUCIFER: Agreed, but here I am. So...

I think you're asking all the wrong questions. It doesn't matter why you do it. You won't know until it happens.

But you need to think about your daughter. What she's gone through.
How hurt and alone... she must have felt.

How hurt and alone she feels now.

The real question you have to ask yourself, Lucifer... is, "What am I going to do to fix this?"

[CHLOE AND DAN LAUGHING]

She was so tired. I know, but Trixie refused to let the chocolate cake go.

- Oh, my God. I almost lost it!
- [CHUCKLES] I know. Me too. [SIGHS]

Oh, man.

[CHLOE LAUGHS]

How's she doing?

You know.

She's, um...It's been hard.

But, uh, she's strong.
Just like her dad.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

And how are you doing?

Uh, well,

turns out with super strength I can protect myself.

I can protect the ones I love.

But there's no celestial object to take away how all of this feels, you know? It's been hard.

A lot harder than I thought it would be.

I'm sorry, Chloe.

- Dan, you were an amazing man.
- [SOBS]

- A great cop, an incredible father.
- [SOBS]

Listen, can I tell you something? [SNIFFLES]

At first, I blamed myself for what happened to you.

But then...

Then I realized that... [SNIFFLES]

God, at least I got to be there when you d*ed.

[SOBBING] But, Dan...

ever since you've been gone, I just...

I've felt so powerless.

[GASPS, SNIFFLES]

Listen, there's something that you need to know, okay?

- [EXHALES]
- You're right.

Trixie is strong.

But it's not because of me.

It's because of you.

And you don't need some silly necklace to give you strength, Chloe,

because you're the strongest woman I've ever met in my life.

[SNIFFLES] Oh, Dan...

[SNIFFLES] Oh, God...

Dan...

[SHUDDERING]

Dan?

[SNIFFLES] Dan...

[SNIFFLES] If you can see me...

[SOBBING] ... if you can hear me...

Thank you.

[SNIFFLES] Thank you.

[SHUDDERING] I can't tell you how much I needed this.

[SHUDDERS, GASPS]

[EXHALES]

[CONTINUES SNIFFLING AND SOBBING]
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