ELLA: See? There it is.
Definitive proof that the laws of nature are breaking down, and the Earth as we know it is officially doomed.
Right.
Yeah, I... I can see how some of these things could be problematic.
Uh, frogs falling from the sky,
plagues, random plane crashes.
But reduced hiccups and vanishing mosquitoes?
[CHUCKLES] I mean, surely those last two should reside on a separate "tiny nuisance" board?
ELLA: Okay, fine. Maybe I haven't figured out exactly what role hiccups will play
in the world's final act, but the dwindling mosquito population?
I... Ay, Dios mío!
Mosquito numbers drop low enough, the whole ecosystem goes down like a triple-decker ice cream on a hot summer day. We're talking aquatic life, birds, all affected.
We lose mosquitoes...we lose civilization.
Oh. I was supposed to protect humanity. [SIGHS] How could I fail to notice something of this... this magnitude?
- Well, to be fair, none of us noticed.
ELLA: I noticed. Okay? I noticed.
And I would have figured it out a lot sooner
if any one of you
would have let me into your
little celestial in-crowd,
but no!
You guys had to play "sideline the scientist," like everybody else.
You need to become God, now.
ELLA: Hold up.
I thought your dad was God.
Father of angels, best hugger in the world,
because he literally invented hugs.
It all made sense.
Dad was God, but then he retired to Mom's universe.
Incommunicado as ever.
Probably thinks that the apocalypse is some sort of teachable moment.
ELLA: So, what, you're just gonna become the new God now?
He's not "just" doing anything, Ella. The whole angel w*r was fought to win Lucifer that seat.
Remiel d*ed for it. Chloe d*ed for it.You what now?
We still have some things
we need to explain.
Listen, it's been a long and painful road for all of us,
but the time has come for Lucifer to ascend the throne.
You're right, brother. It's time. Next time you see me, I'll be God. [CHUCKLES] Ruler of Heaven and Earth. Earth...
ELLA: Why is he doing that shruggy thingy with his shoulders?
[LUCIFER] It's just...this is very weird.
Like, I can feel my wings in there, but they don't just... They don't wanna pop out. [HESITATES]
I... this has never happened
to me before. I... Gimme some room! I'll give it a jump start.
- Gimme some room!
- [CHLOE] Okay!
[LUCIFER SHOUTS]
[CHLOE] Lucifer...
- Come on!
- [ELLA] I get it!
[LUCIFER GROANS]
Gimme a lift.
Given what happened last time, I think it's probably best that you deal
with whatever this is before you go up.
Good point.
Lucifer, your... your body self-actualizes, so, with everything that's been going on,
what if your wings aren't coming out because you feel you'renot ready to be God.
- But I am ready. [CHUCKLES]
- Listen, we don't have time for this.
I'll go to the Silver City and try to figure out what's going on and try to stall whatever's happening.
As for you, brother,
you need to get your head on straight.
- [LUCIFER GROANS]
- Silver City?
Oh, my God.
Amenadiel!
[WINGS FLAPPING]
[GASPS]
[LAUGHS]
Oh.
So that's how it's supposed to work.
[LAUGHS]
[INHALES]
- Come on!
- Okay!
Well, now what?
Okay, if you need to get
your head on straight,
then...
Right.
[LUCIFER] Doctor!
Doctor!
[GROANS]
Oh, for crying out loud. Doctor!
- [LINDA MOANS]
- [EXHALES]
- Aah!
- [LUCIFER] Don't worry.
It's nothing I haven't seen before.
Look, I'm sorry to wake you,
but it's an emergency.
Oh. Hello.
The sommelier from the
wedding. [CHUCKLES]
Excellent taste, as always.
What kind of emergency, uh,
other than the end of the world?
It's time, Doctor.
Time for what?
For the final therapy of Lucifer Morningstar.
For real, this time.
Okay, I understand the
possible end of the world needs to be dealt with quickly,
in the middle of the night, even,
but why did we have to come to my office?
Because this is where I do
my best emotional processing.
Right, of course.
- [LUCIFER SIGHS]
- [LINDA GROANS]
Okay, so what's the problem?
Well, I can't save the world till I'm on Dad's throne,
and I can't get to Dad's throne 'cause my wings are on the fritz.
- Okay, couldn't Amenadiel fly you up?
- Well, in theory, yes.
But who's to say my body won't self-sabotage some other way?
I mean, I could burst into flames again,
and not the, you know, "Yay, I'm worthy" kind.
Lucifer, you're right that most performance issues
are rooted in the mind.
I beg your pardon. You of all people should know
I've never suffered from
performance issues.
[SIGHS]
- Oh, you mean the wings.
- Yeah.
Right, yes, well, that is most likely
mental, rather than anatomical,
which is why the fate of
the world literally rests
in your capable hands.
So, come on.
Shrink me.
Okay, just, um...
Just give me a sec to think.
[SIGHS]
Let's see...
- What's that?
- Nothing.
[GASPS]
"Sympathy for the Devil: My Time With Lucifer Morningstar."
Doesn't look like "nothing" to me.
Okay.
[EXHALES] This is happening.
At : a.m.
Without a bra.
Um... [EXHALES]
I've been writing a book...
about you.
[HUFFS]
Well...
this is, uh...
This is marvelous! I mean, Western literature has portrayed me in a terrible light for centuries,
starting with that perennial best-seller that need not be named. Thanks for nothing, Gutenberg.
[HESITATES] Yeah, well, it's...
it's just a first draft. [CHUCKLES]
Uh, a pre-first draft, really.
I was just skimming over it in case there was something useful,
you know, from one of your past
sessions... [CLEARS THROAT]
... you know, considering I haven't had any sleep.
Or coffee.
The past.
- Doctor, that's it.
- What is it?
If everything we've
worked through together
in the past five years is
contained in this book,
then the answer to my little
wing sitch must be in here.
So, all we need to do is find it.
Oh, I don't think that's
a good idea, Lucifer.
Quite a lot to read on borrowed time.
That's just chapter one.
That's the book.
Right. Were you planning to go full Dickens and get paid by the word?
Unwieldy, right?
Which is why I think we should
come up with another solution.
- [SIGHS]
- Hypnosis, visualization.
I know a medicine man in Tarzana who can do wonders with ayahuasca.
Well, much as I love the psychedelics, no need, Doctor.
Because all we need to do is go
through everything you've written, line by line, until we find the answer.
[SIGHS] We're gonna
need a bigger office.
ELLA: Now don't think this means I'm not still mad at you guys, okay? Because I totally am.
But you can't have a sleepover
without fuzzy slippers and Korean
face masks. You just can't.
Wait. You said there
would be five of us.
Oh.
[SOUL MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Take a few more steps... ♪
What?
You interrupt a demon on a wedding
night, you get what you get.
♪ Take a few more steps... ♪
So, in conclusion,
if we divide and conquer the doctor's
sure-to-be-fascinating book,
then we should be able
to solve my wingtuation
in a snap. [SNAPS FINGERS]
"Save the devil, save the world," as it were.
[DAN] Maybe Lucifer's problem is he promises to help people out.
But then he just leaves them hanging.
[SCOFFS] Yeah, good point, Dan.
ELLA: Dan? What? No... no way! Are you... are you telling me that
Dan is here, like, in this room?
Yeah, he's a... a ghost.
Humans can't see him.
ELLA: Oh!
Well, maybe your problem is that you're constantly
keeping secrets from people
- who care about you!
- [SIGHS]
- Maze, give Ella a message for me.
- [LAUGHS] No!
No, I did not traipse over
here on my wedding night
to be your Whoopi Goldberg.
Hey, look, guys.
Everybody's name is on this page,
so this might be a good place to start.
"Lucifer sauntered into the precinct,
greeting all of his friends."
Hello, precinct!
Yes, it's me, your favorite
crime-solving devil.
- Morning, Detective.
- Good morning.
That's the case, all wrapped up.
Clue, suspect, new clue, takedown.
Another m*rder solved.
Crazy that the k*ller was the first person we met.
- What are the chances?
- I know!
- [CHUCKLES]
- Isn't it such a great day?
Also, I have information for you.
Science, gak.
Super-duper cheery science gak.
- Did you say "science"?
- Mm-hmm.
That makes me think. Yes, I just solved another m*rder.
- Unbelievable.
- [DAN] Hey, Chloe!
- Here's the evidence you asked for.
- [LUCIFER SIGHS]
[CHUCKLES] Oh, Dan.
[INHALES] I think you...
you made a mistake.
- [SIGHS]
- But don't worry, I'll fix it. Again.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [MAZIKEEN GRUNTS]
[SIGHS] Yep.
You're welcome.
- Two-for-one bounties. Kudos.
- Two and a half.
- [GRUNTS]
- [SHRIEKS]
Relax, dude. [EXHALES]
- He was like that when I found him.
- [DAN EXHALES]
Dan, is something missing from the evidence bag?
Aww.
Daniel.
[SCREAMS]
[PANTING]
- [LUCIFER] Oh.
- Cacuzza!
Were you under there the whole time?
- [GASPS]
- [CHUCKLES]
"Under." That makes me think.
- I just solved another m*rder.
- How do you do it, Detective?
You're so smart and beautiful and perfect,
and we are the best
partnership ever, aren't we?
- [CHLOE] Yes.
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh, that reminds me.
There's something important I need to talk to you about.
Something celestial in nature.
Uh, Miss Lopez, would you
mind giving us a moment?
ELLA: Yes, yes, I would love some more science gak.
You got it, Decker, because I'm so happy and everything is great!
[LUCIFER CHUCKLES] Isn't it?
It's not, we have a problem.
Nope! No, Lucifer
epiphanies on this page.
- [TAPS PAPERS]
- Guess we'd better just move on!
[CHUCKLING] Okay.
Did I mention this is a first draft and hasn't been edited at all?
Which means that that is exactly what Lucifer said about us...
- "Technically," not "exactly."
ELLA: [CHUCKLES] Apparently, he thinks I'm nothing but sunshine and rainbows!
- [HUFFS] Not so "sunshine and rainbows" now, am I?
Miss Lopez.
ELLA: Guess you don't really know me any better than I thought I knew you.
[SIGHS]
Well, to be fair, you do tend towards a glass-half-full attitude.
So I'd say the book is pretty accurate.
ELLA: Uh, yeah, of course you would say that. I mean, you came out amazing.
[CHLOE] Well, I guess so.
I don't know. I think Lucifer nailed it with me.
The sex, v*olence, kick-ass outfits.
I mean, hello!
Yeah, he got me right too.
I never thought I'd say this about a book,
but I can't wait to dig in.
Ho-ho! Neither can I.
[LUCIFER SIGHS, CHUCKLES]
Ah... Doctor, I am beginning to suspect
you should have done a bit more editing
before sharing your
manuscript with others.
You think?
[SIGHS] Huh!
ELLA: I cannot believe you kept that from me. And that!
And... I held an angel feather in my hand. And you let me believe
it was from an emu?
Oh, well, I wouldn't get
so upset about that.
[CHUCKLES] I mean, given the
information you had at the time,
I'd say "emu feather" was
the most logical explanation.
Now, can we just focus on
the matter at hand, please?
- [HUFFS]
- Huh? Me, wings...
[SPEAKS SPANISH]
Not with the Spanish.
[LINDA SIGHS]
[LUCIFER CHATTERING]
You know, I'm used to indulging
Lucifer's unique therapeutic process,
but... [SIGHS]
I'm starting to feel
like this is a mistake.
Oh, God.
Do you think I should remind them again
that this is just a rough draft?
I don't know.
At least I have you.
Rational, reasonable Chloe.
Always on task.
Yep, that's me.
[LINDA SIGHS]
[MAZIKEEN EXHALES]
[MUTTERING]
Uh, should I speed up or slow down?
You can read, right?
Doesn't matter. There's no
surprises about me in here.
It's just "corrupt cop," "shitty person." I get the gist.
You are not a shitty person, Dan.
You're literally reading about the time we k*lled a guy, Maze.
[MAZIKEEN EXHALES]
[DAN CLEARS THROAT]
[QUIETLY] "Maze and Dan were headed downtown, thirsty for justice."
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
This is all my fault.
Yeah, Dan, this is all your fault.
The m*rder*r who k*lled Chloe's
dad is walking around free...
and it's all because of me.
[BOTH SIGH]
We have to do something.
We can't k*ll him.
You're right, Maze.
We can't.
[SHUDDERS]
The Russians!
[SIGHS] It's what we have to do.
[MAZIKEEN EXHALES]
[MAZIKEEN] You think you're the one who set the Russians
up to m*rder that guy?
[SCOFFS] No, please.
You're reading it all wrong.
[SOUND OF TAPE REWINDING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
This is all my fault.
Yeah, Dan, this is all your fault.
The m*rder*r who k*lled
Chloe's dad is walking free...
and it's all because of me. [SIGHS]
We have to do something.
Well, we can't k*ll him.
Yeah, you're right, Maze. We can't.
The Russians?
It's what we gotta do. Come on.
Okay, okay.
You have your version. I have mine.
Anyway, it doesn't really matter.
What we did back there wasn't right.
All right? But I spent a few thousand
years coming to terms with it.
And I don't think it's the source
of my guilt. I just... [SIGHS]
I just wish I could figure
out what my real guilt is.
Uh, well, what was in your hell loop?
I don't know.
I woke up, I...
I relived my death a little.
Then Lucifer would tap me to
play ping-pong with Belios.
[EXHALES] Oh, God...
Wait, is that... is that bad?
Yeah, it's bad.
Whatever a damned soul's
biggest source of guilt is,
that's what goes on in his hell loop.
No hell loop, no answers.
So then, when Lucifer rescued
me from Hell's t*rture, he...
- He totally screwed you.
- [SIGHS]
Hey, but don't worry. I can fix it.
You can?
Hello! Yeah, I'm a demon.
I mean, I'm basically a walking guilt detector.
- [EXHALES]
- [MAZIKEEN] Cheer up, dude.
I'm gonna t*rture your ass right into Heaven.
[CHUCKLES]
Charlotte Richards was a goddess?
Only... only some of the time.
[SIGHS]
Look...
to play my advocate... [EXHALES]
... I have always told you the truth.
ELLA: I thought you were an actor. Was it fun for you guys, watching me walk around without a clue?
[EXHALES]
Look, to be honest, Miss Lopez,
I have always envied your
ability to accept the divine in absence of proof.
[EXHALES]
I suppose that's what
faith is, isn't it?
ELLA: I lost my faith, Lucifer.
I lost my faith after Charlotte d*ed.
And not one of you
told me that you knew that
she was in a better place.
You didn't tell me that the
Big Guy was still up there,
that he still cared. That single set of
footprints in the sand...
that was me... [SNIFFLING]
... walking alone.
But you weren't alone. I mean, we... we may not
have spelled it out to you,
but we were all there with you,
every step of the way. [CHUCKLES]
Every step of the way.
[EXHALES] Not to mention what a great friend
you've been to us
celestials over the years.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Chilling with the Angel of Death
before you even met the rest of us.
You and Azrael are practically BFFs.
Wait, what?
Oh, you haven't got that
part of the book. Here.
ELLA: Ray-Ray is the Angel of Death?!
Uh...
[ELLA HUFFS]
[SIGHS] This is the worst
idea the doctor has ever had.
Ever wonder
what your hell loop would
look like, if you had one?
[CHLOE] Hmm.
[SIGHS] Mine would be...
a room full of my friends...
reading the first draft of my biggest professional
accomplishment ever...
and hating it so much...
that they'd rather complain about it...
than save the world.
Please tell me you have something.
Anything, any... any insights at all.
Yeah, I think I have something.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
[GASPS] Lucifer.
- Wait. You're leaving?
- Yeah, I'll call you later.
[CHLOE] Wait!
[LUCIFER] You just stay here!
It's my birthday.
I have to go back.
[SOBBING] Don't go.
Goodbye.
[EXHALES]
- Hey, oh, my God, are you okay?
- Have you seen Lucifer?
No, sorry.
Where is he?
You're on your deathbed, and he's not there.
He's never there.
[EXHALES]
Oh, dear.
[DAN HUFFS]
[MAZIKEEN] Charlotte Richards.
Yeah, she's dead because of you.
She depended on you to protect
her, and you failed her.
- Yeah, that's not it.
- [EXHALES]
I mean, I did blame myself for a while,
but Charlotte's death wasn't my fault.
And honestly, it's kind of comforting to know
that at least she's in Heaven.
[SIGHS] Well, what about your parents? Hmm?
They're probably really disappointed in you.
I mean, look at you. d*ed of broken hearts because of all your sad bullshit.
DANIEL: Actually, my parents are super proud of me and super alive. They're actually sponsoring an improv troupe in my honor. The Danimal Crackers. [CHUCKLES]
[CLEARS THROAT]
What about siblings?
I'm an only child, Maze. Honestly, how do you not know this stuff?
[DAN SIGHS]
But you have someone you care about as much as a sibling.
What?
- I would never hurt Ella.
- No.
But you didn't help her either, did you?
If you had told her the truth sooner,
you could have supported her,
been there for her,
while you were still alive.
ELLA: Yeah, you're not crazy. No, no, you were... you were
just friends with an angel.
The Angel of Death.
[SPLUTTERS] Which is...
is totally normal.
Yeah, just like, uh, just
like your ghost buddy Dan, who you can't see or talk to.
Uh, Dan wants to talk to you.
ELLA: Oh, uh...
Wow. Okay, cool, um...
Hey, Dan.
Um...
I'm so sorry I didn't say this sooner,
but I really miss you so, so much,
and I even named a frog after you.
[CHUCKLES] Tell her I met frog Dan.
And I'm super flattered, and tell
her that I really miss her too.
Also... also, tell her
that her favorite beaker
rolled behind her filing
cabinet last week.
- She's been looking for that.
- He said, "Yo."
- [DAN] I mean, what?
- [SCOFFS] I am summarizing.
[DAN SCOFFS]
Just show her the thing, okay, please?
Dan wants you to read this.
Oh, okay.
You guys, this is so weird.
So, cult, led by k*ller priest,
commits mass su1c1de.
- Now, that I get.
- [CHLOE] Hmm.
I mean, I don't "get it" get it,
but cult, su1c1de, it works.
Now, what I don't get is some
of these bodies are thrashed.
Yeah, yeah, I think they were
into some pretty weird stuff.
- Yes, uh, downright demonic, I'd say.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
I don't know.
It's almost like some of
these bodies d*ed twice.
Twice? What... [LAUGHS]
Twice? That would be
impossible, right, Lucifer?
- [CHUCKLES]
- [CHLOE] I mean...
Yeah, yeah, that's... [SCOFFS]
I... I just must be off
my game today. Uh...
I'll just keep this part off the report.
- [LUCIFER CHUCKLES]
- Yeah. God... [CHUCKLES]
ELLA: Oh! Oh, okay, I get it. So, I am just a super-gullible dummy who's been covering up
your celestial shenanigans for years! [CHUCKLES]
Ella, the unwitting accomplice, strikes again!
Uh, Dan wants you to keep reading.
Uh, please.
[SIGHS] What would we do without Ella, huh?
LUCIFER: Well, for one, I'd be short a half-angel nephew.
I just wish we could tell her the truth.
Well, so do I, but as we've established,
humans don't tend to react that well
when they find out there are actual
angels and demons running around,
even if they already know
the truth in their hearts.
ELLA: Yeah, okay. So I helped save Charlie after he was kidnapped. That is literally my job. You know, this whole time, I really thought that I was part of the inner circle.
But I wasn't. I was just a lonely tangent.
[CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES]
Yeah, um... [CLEARS THROAT]
Dan says that, while you may
not have known the specifics,
that everyone here always
loved and trusted you, Ella.
No, I am not saying that.
[SPLUTTERS]
Dan says you are the inner circle.
ELLA: If you guys really trusted me, you would have told me the truth.
Ella...
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
[LUCIFER] Chloe!
I'm out here.
What's wrong?
[CHLOE] Well, uh...
in the book, you make me sound...
amazing.
Yes, I can see how that would be upsetting. [CHUCKLES]
What if you think I'm smart and... and beautiful and "perfect"... because you've never stuck around
long enough to see me at my worst?
Oh, well, now you're just making things up.
[EXHALES]
When... when Rory said that you weren't at my deathbed,
you know, I thought, uh...
"That's impossible."
"Lucifer would never abandon me."
But reading this, I realize...
[SPLUTTERS] Of course you would.
You've done it so many times before.
- Have I?
- [CHLOE] Yes!
Every time we've had an
emotional breakthrough,
you've... you've immediately
gone off and disappeared.
Oh, come on, that can't be true.
No, listen to me.
And now...
you've told me you love me.
It's the biggest breakthrough
we've ever had.
So I just wonder, how do I know you won't follow it up with...
My biggest-ever disappearing act.
[HESITATES] Chloe...
I would never choose to abandon you.
- But you can't know that.
- Yes, I can.
Because it's my choice.
Okay...
Like... like it's your choice to
whip out your wings right now?
Like it's your choice
whether or not to let me in?
- [g*nsh*t]
- [GASPS]
- [LUCIFER GRUNTS]
- [CHLOE GASPS]
Lucifer.
- [EXHALES]
- What's happening to me?
You know, I wore this for so many years
because it proved that you chose to be vulnerable around me, but... But now it's not you that decided
that, it's your subconscious.
Your... your subconscious chose
to... to have a devil face
or to bring out your wings.
And... and reading all of this,
I mean, seeing it all laid out,
I just wonder...if your subconscious
might choose not to stay.
No.
No, I'm sorry, but I don't accept that.
I've changed.
I've... I've grown. I mean, it's all in here, isn't it? [CHUCKLES]
It's...
What?
What is it?
There's something wrong with this book.
[SNIFFLES]
Gather round, people.
The doctor has deceived us all.
This manuscript that she's
brought cuts off mid-sentence.
Because you didn't bring the end
of the book with you, did you?
You know what?
It's true.
I kept the end of the book in my office.
But if this book is a
case study on Lucifer,
all of the important
psychological insights
would be in the last chapter, right?
So... so why are you hiding it?
It is my job to guide patients on their journey,
not give them the answers.
ELLA: Wait a second, the world is ending, and you guys are all still keeping
secrets from each other? - What is wrong with you people?
- [LINDA] Nope.
None of this was my idea.
No one was supposed
to read my manuscript,
least of all the patient
that I was studying,
because it's a first draft!
Maybe years from now,
when the book is published...
She's gonna publish this?
My parents are gonna see this!
Shut up, Daniel, this is not
about you! It's about me.
[GASPS]
[EXHALES] You held back
the end of the book...
because you think I'll fail, don't you?
My own therapist doesn't actually
believe that I'll become God.
[MAZIKEEN] Guess the party's over, huh?
[SIGHS] Yep.
[SIGHS]
Dude, that is literally the most depressing thing I've ever seen.
Turns out I didn't have
anywhere else to go.
Yeah, well, I do.
Yeah.
[SIGHS]
Okay.
So let's skip the usual foreplay
and get straight to the main event.
Okay?
If you saw the moment of your death in Hell,
that's the key.
You relive your death,
you find your guilt.
Yeah, I've been there, done that.
- Didn't learn a damn thing.
- Mnh-mnh.
That cold, gnawing fear in
the pit of your stomach...
Feel that?
Yeah.
That's your guilt.
Now you can spend the next thousand years
running away from it like a weak human,
or you can dig in...
and sniff that sh*t out like a demon!
[SCREAMS]
[GRUNTS]
- [PANTING]
- [g*nsh*t]
[EXHALES]
- [g*nsh*t]
- [EXHALES]
Maze, I think you cracked it.
I know what I need to do.
[CHLOE] Oh, hey.
Don't even know why the doctor's bothering
to bring back the rest of the book.
I'm not capable of real change.
- Lucifer, that isn't true.
- Isn't it?
I mean, at least I don't think it is.
What I do know is how much you've grown since I've met you.
But not enough.
Honestly, I... I don't know if it's enough.
What I said back there, I was scared.
You know, I am scared.
[SCOFFS]
I know you don't think you'll disappear,
and I wanna believe that,
but if you're wrong, and I'm gonna be a mom with two girls,
working at the LAPD.
[HESITATES] You're
going back to the LAPD?
I know.
I know it wasn't our plan, and
I understand if you're upset.
No.
No, I understand.
[CHUCKLES]
I mean, it's who you are, isn't it? Hmm?
My detective. [CHUCKLES]
[EXHALES] I could never be
upset with you about that.
And while there is a remote possibility
that I may idolize you a
little too much... [CHUCKLES]
... I do know you're an amazing mother.
I wasn't an amazing mother to Rory.
- What do you mean?
- Just look at her wings, Lucifer.
I mean... [SCOFFS]
I just think, did I not protect her enough?
Did I not make her feel safe?
How badly did I screw up
that I made our daughter self-actualize as a w*apon?
Oh, right, yes.
I wonder where Rory got her persecution complex from.
[CHUCKLES] Certainly not from the angel who literally invented teenage rebellion.
Blade wings? Devil face? [SCOFFS]
- It's all the same, isn't it?
- [SCOFFS]
[RORY] No, it isn't.
[CHLOE] Rory.
Rory!
- [CHLOE] Uh...
- Hello! [CHUCKLES]
What... what are you doing here?
Mom said you guys were saving the world.
I thought I'd stop by to see how it was going.
Gotta say, I kind of wish I hadn't.
Hindsight's a bitch, huh?
- [GASPS] Rory.
- Wait, Rory, hold on. [SPLUTTERS]
I think... we... we think your wings are amazing.
I just... I hope that you didn't
feel that you had to fight
or protect yourself
when you were younger. Uh...
As your mom, I... I hope that
I always made you feel safe.
[LAUGHS]
I... I don't have these wings because
of something you did wrong.
I... I have them because
of something you did right.
I mean, all my life, I watched you stand up for justice.
I love these badass wings
'cause they remind me ofthe person I admire most.
My mom.
[EXHALES] Really?
Really.
These wings are like, they're one of a million wonderful, powerful
things that you gave me.
Unlike him.
[CHUCKLES] Well, your angel dad probably had something to do
with your wings.
- Right.
- Lucifer left both of us. How can you still defend him?
Well, Rory, I mean, your...
your dad is flawed.
We all are, and...
I mean, although I'm nervous
about what the future holds, I...
I guess, deep down,
I just really trust him.
RORY: Why? He doesn't even trust himself. He doesn't know his own feelings. He had to get hit by a b*llet to figure out he cared about you. Yeah, I heard you guys talking earlier.
- That's not necessarily fair.
- [LUCIFER] No.
She's right. [GASPS]
She is right.
Lucifer, what are you doing?
What's this supposed to be?
[GASPS]
I know how I feel about you, and I
am going to prove it, young lady.
I am gonna make myself vulnerable
right here, right now, for you.
So go on, sh**t me.
Okay, we do not sh**t people in this family.
I don't know, Mom. I think we established we totally do.
[CACKLES] I think she's got you there. Move aside, please.
I am your father, and I
demand that you sh**t me!
[CHLOE] Rory, don't listen to him. Just put down the g*n.
Ah-ah-ah-ah! It's the only way she's gonna believe me.
Come on, Rory.
You've wanted to hurt me
ever since you got here.
Now's your chance. Pull that trigger.
- Come on.
- [g*n COCKS]
- Go on, sh**t me!
- [g*nsh*t]
[SCOFFS, GASPS]
[PANTING]
I knew he couldn't do it. [GASPS]
[GASPS, GULPS]
[CHUCKLES]
- [THUDS]
- Lucifer.
[LUCIFER CACKLES, GRUNTS]
[PANTING]
Don't you two ever do anything like that ever again.
Promise. [LAUGHS]
- It worked.
- [LUCIFER] Of course it worked.
You're my daughter. And I love you.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
[LINDA] You asked for it?
Well, here it is!
Lucifer.
Are you bleeding?
Yes, I am! [CHUCKLES]
But don't worry about that.
Hand it over.
It's time to see how this story really ends.
Thank you, Dr. Linda.
In the five years that
we've worked together,
it's you who has given me the insight, the wisdom,
to ascend the throne of Heaven.
Some might say you've been a godsend.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
I, Lucifer Morningstar, the Devil,
have returned to Heaven
to rule as God Almighty.
And it's all thanks to one woman.
A woman with the mind of a genius,
the patience of a saint. A woman I adore with all of my heart.
The greatest therapist
the world has ever known,
Dr. Linda Martin, MD,
PsyD, PhD, MA, MPhil,
Master in Science, Master in Technology,
Master of the Universe, Ma...
This is preposterous.
[CHUCKLES] I mean, socks with sandals?
What? Your dad wore them.
But, Linda, is this what
you really think happens?
I don't know what's going to happen.
I've been the therapist to the
Devil for the last five years,
and I still couldn't get him ready to be God.
- [HESITATES] I'm a failure.
- [LUCIFER SIGHS]
So I wrote a fake ending to make myself feel better.
Okay, so seriously,
why are you bleeding?
LUCIFER: Oh, my daughter sh*t me.
What?
No, don't worry. It was completely consensual.
I self-actualized vulnerability
to prove a point.
Lucifer...
your conscious and subconscious mind
are finally acting in concert.
Do you know what this means?
LUCIFER: That...
I no longer have to let my wings choose
whether or not I'm gonna be God.
[GASPS]
[CHLOE] So...
you're finally ready to be God.
I am.
I am ready to be God.
[INHALES, EXHALES]
But I'm choosing not to be.
What?
Reading the doctor's
ridiculous denouement,
reliving everything that we've
been through here on Earth,
seeing how certain you are about who you are, what you are...
It's made me realize, I... I don't want to be God.
- [LINDA SIGHS]
- So I'm not going to be. I mean, I think, deep down, I've... I've always known it wasn't really my calling.
I... I...
I've no idea what my calling is,
but I do know it's not me being God.
I hope you're not too disappointed by that.
No, I'm not disappointed. I could never be disappointed
by who you are.
I told you, I trust you.
I have no idea why you always
have so much faith in me.
[CHUCKLES]
[RORY] I do.
I mean, my whole life I listened to Mom
talk about how much she loved you.
Uh, kind of felt sorry
for her, honestly.
But reading this, I get to see
things from the other side.
- [GASPING]
- Chloe.
I don't wanna die.
I won't let you.
- [g*nshots]
- [SHOUTING]
If you're up there, all I ask
is that you protect Chloe.
[SCREAMS]
["FOUND" BY JACOB BANKS PLAYING]
Detective! No!
[GRUNTS, GASPS]
You're okay.
- [THUDDING]
- [GASPS]
♪ What do I put in a hole ♪
♪ Inside the ground? ♪
♪ Oh, I'm falling higher ♪
♪ Flying deeper ♪
♪ Oh, the love I found ♪
♪ What do I do with this smile ♪
♪ Trapped in my mouth? ♪
♪ How do I prove ♪
♪ There's a ghost this time around? ♪
♪ It's like catching fire ♪
♪ Walking on water ♪
♪ Oh, the love I found ♪
♪ Say the word ♪
♪ And I'll burn it all ♪
♪ Play the chord ♪
♪ And I'll bleed some more... ♪
I choose you, Chloe.
Because I love you.
It's, uh, good to know
that he loved you...
Loves you back.
Rory, I hope that you know now
that he feels the exact
same way about you.
Yeah, I think I do.
The emotional progress you're all
making here is really so beautiful.
But, you know, it almost makes me forget
about the whole "end of
the world" situation.
Oh, right, that. Buzzkill Doctor.
[SIGHS] Well, don't worry.
I'm sure, uh, Amenadiel will
figure it out. [CHUCKLES]
He always does.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So...
Thanks for picking me up.
Yeah.
Sorry I...
kind of ditched you at the wedding.
Big emergency.
You ever have one of those friends that,
every time they have a problem,
it winds up becoming...
The end of the world?
Yeah, well, I'm... I'm
really glad that you get it
because I've got five of those.
Six, I guess.
[SIGHS] Just so you know.
Okay.
So what's the word, then?
Is the crisis averted or... ?
Not yet.
But, you know, given everything
we've been through,
I'd say I'm cautiously optimistic.
- Good.
- [ELLA SIGHS]
I'm so sorry, I know...
I know that's like, "Welcome
to Vague Town, population you."
Carol, I really wish that
I could tell you more.
I... I do, but...
It's just not my secret to share.
[CHUCKLING] Ella...
That's fine. I know who you are.
And... and I trust our relationship,
so you don't have to... You don't have to worry
about that. We're good.
Listen, you...
you don't have to know every
little detail about someone as long as you already know their heart.
Right.
Right.
Couldn't save the world.
Didn't even realize that
my client of five years
didn't wanna become God.
[SCOFFS]
The world's greatest therapist, my ass.
- More like "World's Biggest Fraud."
- [SCOFFS] Doctor, sit down.
Now, you may not have helped
me ascend the throne of Heaven,
but you did help.
- Really?
- Yes.
You have helped me learn
to put others first.
You helped me repair relationships
that had been broken for... [GROANS]
... well, millennia.
You've helped me truly connect
with the love of my life.
Dr. Linda Martin,
"P-h-y" and all those things. [LAUGHS]
In our time together, you
managed to do something
not even God Almighty
was able to accomplish.
You've made me a better man.
Thank you, Lucifer.
That's the best compliment
a therapist could receive.
[EXHALES]
- [SIGHS]
- Mmm.
Doctor.
- Doctor!
- [GASPS] Sorry. Whoa. Sorr...
[SIGHS]
- It's just been the longest day ever.
- Hasn't it?
So, if you'll excuse me,
I have a very important appointment
with a warm, soft bed.
A well-earned rest.
["I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU"
BY BIG JOHN HAMILTON PLAYING]
♪ I-I-I... ♪
[LAUGHS]
♪ Just wanna thank you... ♪
[SIGHS]
♪ For this feeling that I feel ♪
♪ I-I-I... ♪
♪ Just wanna thank you... ♪
- [SIGHS]
- [WINGS FLAP]
♪ I just wanna thank you... ♪
I know why the world is ending.
We need to talk.
[SIGHS] Bollocks.
06x08 - Save the Devil, Save the World
Moderator: Kaelline
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"Lucifer" amuses himself in Los Angeles, where he gets his kicks helping the LAPD punish criminals.
"Lucifer" amuses himself in Los Angeles, where he gets his kicks helping the LAPD punish criminals.